Warning: This post is full of different kinds of emotions. Please bear with the writer :)) 2015 and 2016 were years full of huge and meaningful events for my family. Everything were in bounties, and we had so much to give. Life was good. We were happy. Let me start with my frustrations. Nearing the end of 2016, November to be specific. A few close ties were suddenly cut loose. Mostly relatives. I have come to realize that giving so much of yourself to people tends to open paths towards being taken advantage of. They feel that because they think you do not run out of resources, it’s your responsibility to solve their recklessness. That you have to put their needs first because life is not as kind to them as it is to you. They assume that you have too much and they have too little, when in fact, it all boils down to RESPONSIBILITY. You can’t blame people for your misfortunes when you had every opportunity to avoid it yet you choose not to because somehow, your LUHO is more important than tuition fees and other daily expenses. Yup, what I’m ranting about here, has everything to do with finances. My family is not wealthy, but we have enough. Enough for us to sleep soundly at night, enough to feed our mouths, enough to enjoy life, and we have enough resources in case things are not as great as it’s supposed to be. The problem with people is they can’t handle circumstances they create so they shove it on you, confident that because you have enough, you don’t have responsibilities of your own. And when you say NO for the first time, they gang up on you because somehow, you suddenly are the greediest person on earth. All the good things you did evaporates, or rots, may your good deeds rest in peace. Hoho! I’m not speaking for myself because if it’s just me, I really would not give a damn because, life is happier without negative vibes around. But if it’s your family that’s being talked about by ungrateful creatures, it becomes an entirely different story. I am not one to hate but now, along with the forgotten good deeds, was all the respect I have left for those people that I would not mention anymore, else it would become too obvious. So what if were relatives. It’s my family you’re attacking. Deal with my indifference. December 2016, we had a devastating news. My sister-in-law underwent an operation which was supposed to remove a mass in her airway to make her breathing normal. For a long time, from what we knew, it was just a mass, benign, harmless. But then, after the operation, the physician revealed a heartbreaking news. Nothing confirmed yet, but the words were “IT IS NOT GOOD”. Clear diagnosis will be out after the holidays. Our positive and happy mood turned grim, it was a dark, dark time for all for us. The anticipation a lot to bear. Then came Christmas. Then new year. Mom had to go home again after coming back from her vacation just last November 2015. She has always been the pillar my family draws strength and happiness from. This kind of crisis, needed her presence. Never have I prayed so hard in my life. It was during this time that I realized how weak I am. I concealed the probable outcome in layers of denial. I had to remain hopeful and positive, otherwise I would crumble. My family was going through very difficult times, and I am miles away. January 3, 2017. It was confirmed. Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma Stage 4. I never ever mentioned the word cancer, because my mind does not want to surrender. I was hoping for a different result up to the last minute. However, this is reality. It’s something we have to face, not something we run away from. The first few weeks were very challenging for our family. Physically, emotionally, financially. We were exhausted. Despite all difficulties, we found refuge under God’s embrace. Prayers kept us going. The first chemotherapy session happened, and we are so relieved that Michelle responded well, even the lab results have significant improvement. Aside from the shedding of her hair, she is full of life and full of positivity. Her appetite is normal, and she is her normal bubbly and chatty self. Every now and then, we come across a few hurdles, especially in the financial aspect but so far, nothing a lot of prayers can’t solve. God always provides. There are eight (8) more chemo sessions left. The journey will not be easy but we will not lose faith and we will fight as a family, claiming that she will be healed, in Jesus name. With God, nothing is impossible.
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