Well, Rouga thought wryly, at least Kyouya knew what he was guilty of–but by now there was no doubt in Rouga’s mind that he’d known for some time, even before being ripped from their world and thrust into Hive. There was some grim sort of satisfaction in hearing Kyouya admit to his wrongdoings without honeyed words or evasive answers, he supposed, but ultimately…that wasn’t what he wanted out of this.
His wish was a foolish one. It most likely wasn’t in his best interests to pursue it, and he was sure a more rational person might have leapt on Kyouya’s suggestion to cut ties–but what Kyouya didn’t realize was that he hadn’t merely given Rouga a name and a place to stay all those years ago. It was undeniable that their relationship had suffered significantly since then, but so too was it true that Kyouya had been his first exposure to “love.” It had been childish and naive in nature, but it had certainly been genuine…as had the pure, unadulterated happiness Rouga had been granted the chance to feel for the first time.
“… I want to start over.” He finally said, some of the sternness in his expression easing a fraction. “There’s no erasing what you’ve done up to this point, but I’m realizing that that’s exactly why I can’t walk away now…and why I can’t do it as the person I was before.”
He exhaled softly, and briefly Rouga turned his eyes away.
“You’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I’m partially to blame, too. The ‘loyal, obedient childhood friend’…that person failed you. I…failed you. Over and over again–and then I turned my back on you at the worst possible time. I won’t apologize for getting angry back then…but I’m sorry I didn’t do better.
“So I guess…I’m here to ask for a chance to try again, if you’re willing. After all…–”
Despite himself, the corner of Rouga’s mouth twitched upward in a half-smile.
“–… When you inevitably make another stupid decision, you’re going to need someone to knock some sense into your thick skull.”
Again and again, no matter which choice of words he chose, Rouga’s decision to remain by Kyouya’s side did not falter. Through thick and thin, he saw something within the young Gaen, each and every time, despite all of his misgivings. Though they were far from the most perfect pair of human beings, the undying love between them was something Kyouya couldn’t comprehend--relationships had always been built upon losses and earnings...
The only relationships he knew as of recent were bought upon bribery and manipulation..
But even though he had fallen from grace in the most unpleasant of ways, he still hadn’t lost the one important person in his life. Even though Kyouya thought there was nothing Rouga could gain from staying with him, here he was, still standing--smiling even!--by his hospital bed.
“–… When you inevitably make another stupid decision, you’re going to need someone to knock some sense into your thick skull.”
And quietly, Kyouya bowed his head, as if to shadow over the weakness in his eyes, uttering words that he hadn’t said in the longest time.
“... thank you, Rouga...”
Hot tears rushed to his eyes, but Kyouya still had too much pride to let them fall, pressing a palm to his burning eyelids as he bit his lips.
“Hahaha.... I don’t get it.. What is this? My heart aches...”