Focus
It's been a while, but I felt like writing. I need to empty my brain or I feel like I'll emotion dump somewhere I don't need to.
Honestly, these past few months have been a roller coaster. Life has been up and down and I just feel like now it's heading in a better direction but the dream of having our son with us is just a dream. It's a fever dream. I know I can't get him back and I feel extremely lost sometimes. It creeps back into my head of when he was here and I was holding him and then he was gone. I think to if my grandpa or my grandma was still here, how they would be so happy to hold him but they are will him.
Life is so unexpected. We lost a good friend of ours a few months ago and his funeral was a few weeks ago and it didn't feel real a few months ago but seeing him in his casket and just everything rushed in. We talk and talk about what we would be doing is he was still here. We talk about how he's probably up there, playing with our son, making him laugh, cooking and shit.
Focusing on what I can do, what we can do is the goal. In honor of our son, my grandma and grandpa, our friend. We live in the now and we focus on what we can do.
Live your live. Don't waste any moments.
