A Raisin in the Pun

This is my blog for AP Language and Comp. It's probably just going to be me talking about books so watch out!

[araisininthepun]

8 Days of Greatness

Monday- Kindness

On Monday, after track practice, I had asked a girl who didn’t have a lot of friends if she would like to walk back to the locker room with my group. It hadn’t been anything big or spectacular, but I like to think that this made her day a little better. Having this be my act of kindness was nice because it motivated me to do something I would have otherwise not even have thought about doing. This was a simple thing and would be easy to implement everyday.

Tuesday- Gratitude

On Tuesday, in addition to our coaches gift, the girls in my event in track all got together to get our coach another gift for all of his work. This man seriously loves Butterbees so we got him a gift card and a handmade card where we all wrote personal thank you notes. It went really well, he even caused for him to cry a single tear! Although this isn’t really something that can implemented everyday, it’s good to show people appreciation, especially to those who don’t necessarily receive huge benefits. In addition to this, it’s extremely rewarding to know that you made someone happy.

Wednesday-  Generosity

On Wednesday, I was generous in the best way I saw possible; by giving compliments. Sometimes a single nice comment can brighten a person's day and that’s what I hoped to achieve. I told my friend Emily that she is one of the smartest people I know. I told two people in the hallways that I didn’t know that they had cute outfits. At my track meet, I gave a swarm of high-fives to all of my teammates which seemed to make them happy. What I did for Generosity day was very simple, and something I have actively been working towards continuing even when there isn’t a themed day.

Thursday- Selflessness

On Thursday, I offered to watch over my grandma (she lives with us and is paralyzed from the legs down) while the rest of my family went out to dinner. This made my mom very happy since she was able to leave the house for an extended period of time during a week night. This is something I should be doing more often for my family which will become more prevalent as I gain more free time over the summer. From this I learned that sacrificing your time can be the best thing that you can give to others.

Friday- Love

On Friday, I told my grandma I love her, which I do often, but made her smile since it was unwarranted. Since we have to care for her, she often feels like a burden, so she really appreciates it when we express that we love her.  This is a thing I should do more often since it has the most profound impacts on people. Saying ‘“I love you,” expresses feeling, respect and gratitude and it is a simple thing to do that can change someone’s day.

Saturday-  Remembrance

On Saturday, I watched my grandma again so that my mom could take flowers to my grandpa’s grave (he was a vet. and she wanted to do this for Memorial Day). I felt like I had done something really nice because my family often does not have the opportunities to go out and visit his grave. Although this wasn’t an experience for me, I felt that I had helped out by giving her the chance to do something.

Sunday- Passion

On Sunday, I did something I truly love; a combination I like to call “cart.” Carting is where I go to the Plaza Art Supplies Store in Kenwood and pick up the materials I need for a piece. After I do this I travel to a coffee shop (in Sunday’s case Coffee Emporium) and I purchased a delicious coffee beverage and worked on a charcoal drawing. Although fulfilling my coffee addiction and working on art didn’t necessarily leave the world a better place, I think that participating in things you love makes you a better person to be around.

Monday- Celebration

On Monday, in order to celebrate, I spent time with my father. We watched three movies on Netflix and drank vanilla milkshakes. It was cool to spend time with my dad and I enjoyed having an occasion to do something fun. Although I need to get my school work done first, I think that this celebration theme is a great thing that people can do as an excuse to have fun and spent more time with those they love.

Overall, I really enjoyed the experiences I had with the 8 Days of Greatness. I think that this encouraged me to work outside of my comfort zone to do things that I usually wouldn’t do without incentive. This was a great way to encourage people to actively think about their effects on the world around them and how simple niceties can help turn a person’s day around. The 8 Days of Greatness is a great way for Brogan’s memory to be honored because we are taking something tragic  and using it to make the world a better place.

[araisininthepun]

I’m a woman, so every time I express my grievances they are usually disregarded as temperamental sentiments. Therefore, I want to express my views through a men’s rights perspective; because as much as we hate to admit it, women’s and men’s issues are congruent. By stifling one, we also hold back...

[araisininthepun]

Families: I Just Don’t Get It

This world is filled with uncertainty and confusion; life as a we know it is a curious happening. There is so much still left to discover, so much still to do, so much still to find, but if there is one thing I know for certain, it’s that families are weird as hell.

The entire concept of a family is weird in itself, the whole two people finding each other and falling in love thing makes sense, but that's where the descent into confusion begins. The two people who are in love decide that one day, they are bored with their two unit family so they say, ”Hey wouldn’t it be cool if we made a tiny human who looks half like you and half like me?” The other person of course agrees and they make a baby because who doesn’t want a tiny human to take care of that kinda looks like them? What comes next is the bazaar part; up in heaven God puts all of your parents genes into a blender and makes a DNA smoothie. This child will either end up smooth and sweet or tart and chunky (there is little in between here). After this kid is born, the parents are like  “Well dang, if we leave this crying little human here, people will catch on to us since it looks like the both of us. I guess we’ll have to raise it for the next 18 years.” And viola a family is formed!

Now remember this baby is a weird smoothie, when God prepared it for the blender, he cut off the stems of the strawberries and the peels off the bananas, so this kid is a dissected fraction of each parent. Maybe the dad really likes baseball and that was the banana peel? Well sorry dad, now you and your daughter will have nothing in common. What if the mom really likes shopping? Well sorry mom, God added some sugar to that smoothie (recessive genes) and now your kid is a book worm who cowers at the thought of retail therapy. This kid is totally different from the parents but is expected to stick around and be raised by them since the family unit all kinda looks the same.

My point is this, families are weird conglomerations of different people who are expected to stay together and love each other simply because “they’re your family.” But beyond the sharing the same genes point, what is the reason we expect families to stay together and love each other forever? You have the same noses and both like blue cheese, but what do these things add up to beyond commonalities? Why do we place so much stress on the importance of family other than other important people in our lives?

Maybe I’m too young and disillusioned to understand necessity of families, or maybe we as a society have been putting an immense amount of importance on a thin with inherently loose ties.

[araisininthepun]

Enlightenment Absolutists

The Enlightenment started in Europe during the mid 17th century and carried on until what would be the French Revolution in 1789. This movement towards empiricism and reason began in France with the philosophes and erupted across the Western world spreading ideas of reform and human involvement in the world around them. The Enlightenment had brought upon a massive change in Europe which had not only affected how people thought and saw the world, but also how rulers applied these principals to change the world.  This movement and its effects on government was most prevalent in Russia, Austria and Prussia, where the monarchs (Enlightened Absolutists) took steps towards improving the world with Enlightenment teachings.

In Austria, Joseph II ruled his multiethnic empire with reform in mind and policy at hand. He, was the most radical of the Enlightened Absolutists, but unfortunately the least effective. His most important policy which had been mostly ensued for economic reasons, was to allow for freedom from persecution for the Jewish peoples. He wanted for the displaced Jews to return from Poland and surrounding areas to Austria, where they would add stimulation to the economy. This religious toleration was eventually spread to all members off the Christian faith, a feat in what used to be a Catholic dominated state. Joseph was also a friend of Voltaire’s and corresponded with him about the powers of his government. Joseph, being involved like this also was a patron of Voltaire and often turned to him for solace with his policies. In addition to these changes, Joseph abolished serfdom in Austria, making him one of the first rulers of a European state to act against human bondage in the 18th century.

In Russia, Catherine the Great had ruled after the death of her husband, Peter III. Catherine was of German descent so she had been exposed early-on to the ideas of the Enlightenment that was prospering in central Europe. Of all the Enlightened Absolutist, she was the least reform minded, but most active in supporting the movement. Most of the things Catherine had done while in power tended to be as more of PR stunts rather than working towards the lives of the people. She purchased and funded Denis Diderot’s Library and maintained regular correspondence with Voltaire. He was funded by her to continue his studies and she often received flattery for her leadership. She was a patron; hardly a reformer. What she did do was revise the law code which had governed Russia for hundreds of years so that it could actually be understood and she also funded many schools. She did little in the areas of religious tolerance besides the fact the all non-Russians were allowed to maintain their religion without persecution while inside of Russian territory.

 In Prussia, Frederick the Great ruled and was the most effective of the Enlightened Absolutists when it came down to reform. Frederick allowed for people without noble titles to be able to hold positions in the government (military still based on noble standing). This created a movement around the world where the ideas spread that a government is more efficient if the people working inside of it are actually qualified. Beyond this, he also granted some level of toleration for all Christian religions within his empire. Which helped to stabilize tensions which had existed in the German areas since the Reformation. Along with all of these changes, Frederick also patroned the philosophes of France—he enjoyed the gossip and criticism circulating about the nation-state next door. His changes were not immense, but they still helped to change Prussia and perpetuate it into a more modern state.

Overall these rulers used principals of the Enlightenment to show off their power and insightfulness. They had made changes to their government primarily as show, but ended up pushing Prussia, Austrian and Russia towards the 19th century and the new political fervor that would spread across Europe.

[araisininthepun]

I am a Junior

I am a junior in high school and I have the fatigue of a 80 year old, the sleeping habits of a heroin addict and the mental health of someone who should be institutionalized. These may seem like the symptoms to a chronic and fatal illness, but the reality is a lot simpler. Too much too do and too little time.

Last week I missed two days of school because I had been sick. This was the result of getting less than 3 hours of sleep every night for 3 weeks straight. Needless to say, my sleep deprivation along with a build-up of anxiety had finally brought me to the brink. I was throwing up, literally making myself sick, due to the physical and mental burden school had imposed upon me.  

Some of this sleep deprivation has been my fault, I waste around an hour each day driving to get food or taking too long to get ready in the mornings. However, there are bigger problems I face which have led to my situation.

School Rules

Two weeks ago on a Thursday night, our bus finally arrived back to Turpin High School at 11:00pm from a track meet at Mount Healthy. By the time the bus had been unloaded, and my gear had been placed in the shed by the track, it had been 11:30. Even if I had gone to bed at the second I arrived at my house, I would have had less than eight hours of sleep. Unfortunately, I was not that lucky. By the time I had eaten dinner, showered, and completed my homework,  it was 4:00 am and I was still expected to go to school the next morning.

As far as I know or have been informed, there is no law or rule in place by the school that prevents this from happening. There are no allowed tardies, there are no alleviations. On the Friday after the meet, I was one of the 3 out of 28 girls on the varsity track team who had attended school that day. Not only is this kind of occurrence frequent for the track team, but for many other sports. The school has done nothing to protect us from sleep deprivation, nothing to keep us sane.

Homework

When registering to take an honors or AP course, a student should  be aware that they will have homework in that class at least every night. Therefore, with my course load, it is unreasonable for me to scornful of my workload. However, the amount of homework I get each night is enough to make someone want to jump off of a bridge. I get home from track practice at 5:30 pm and I take a nap until 7:00 pm and then begin my homework. I end up doing my homework until 2:00 am on a goodnight, but I often find myself up until four and still have to  do work from the night before in different classes. In my class, it is safe to expect 2 hours of homework each night. My Physics usually ends up taking an hour and a half and the same for English. If I’m lucky there is no art homework which can consume anywhere from 1-2 hours, a pattern often repeated with completing my latin homework. Every night for Euro, there is a textbook reading, which along with notes, also ends up consuming 2 hours of my night. In addition to weeknights, I also spend Friday nights and all day Saturday completing assignments. A heavy homework load should be expected to a certain degree, but I am suffering from the unrealistic expectations from my teachers.

Testing to the Limits

Just last week, I had five tests on a Friday. Five. Completing my homework load has been enough of a trial, but adding the factor of testing has made school nearly impossible. Having tests, or even quizzes once a week is extremely unreasonable. Having tests too frequently force students to undermine their other class work and stress themselves beyond compare in order to maintain even their current grade. Class room discussions and debates aren’t enough, unless a student can properly identify 52 figures from the Enlightenment on a sheet of paper, than their entire education has been in vain.  

Were at the edge and were on the brink. The only ones who can help us are our teachers. Yes, taking four AP classes may seem ridiculous, but so is expecting students to constantly compromise their mental and physical health in order to maintain their GPA’s and stay involved in the school.  

[araisininthepun]

The Lost Generation of Students

This year I am taking four AP classes, two honors courses and a single art class. Needless to say, my life is hectic. Every night, on average, I spend around eight hours on homework for all these classes. My day comprises of 7 hours in school, 3 hours at track (also at school), 8 hours doing homework and 3 sleeping (note a few hours are lost in the morning routine, eating, and driving). The worst part of the entire situation is that I do this to myself; I hope to be able to go to an Ivy League for college, so I spend my days hating my existence to improve a piece of paper which determines whether I’m worthy or not to attend their school.

I’m no super schooling super hero, I’m a human. A human who enjoys seeing sunlight, eating meals that aren’t from fast food restaurants (the only food I have time to prepare and eat), doings leisure activities for more than 15 minutes, and talking to other humans outside of school. However, to Turpin High School, my demands are ridiculous. How dare I be physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted by my courses? How dare I, the student who has a 3.9 GPA(W), takes four AP and two honors classes be exhausted by what is expected of me? Was it honestly my choice to take on this workload or was it years of teacher recommendations and counselor encouragement that pushed me to this point? Is it always the students fault for trying to meet the impossible expectations imposed by those who determine their futures? I think not.

In the end we're telling our kids, students, test-takers, and potential applicants that their worth as a human being will one day be shoved into a digital folder on commonapp.org. Their ability to achieve in life is an SAT score, their past successes are a GPA, their ability to handle college work is the number of 5s they’ve accumulated. Its a universal truth that we train students to believe that their self worth should be determined by their college applications. If this is infact true, what message are we giving to our children when they receive their rejection letters? What are we saying to the student who stayed up all night doing homework and failed a test the next day? What are we saying to the kid who only scored a four on an AP exam? We’re saying nothing, were letting years of stress, pressure and expectations build up inside their minds until it eats them alive.

The most important lesson that I have learned in school is that the real world absolutely sucks. I have been ultimately prepared to expect the worst of others, the worst of myself and to hope that my bleak future will provide me with enough satisfaction that I’m able to make it through another day without giving up. Do we really want to create a generation of zombiesque young adults who associate learning with failure, future with disappointment, and college admissions as the end-all-be-all in achievement? Then why don’t we do something? Why don’t we take a stand?

High schools should only allow students to take three AP courses per year; yes, some students can handle more, but this would give them the opportunity to achieve more in others sectors of their life.

We need recess back in high school, in the months of November and January I am at school for so long that it is dark upon entry and leaving. I forget what daylight looks like-- that’s a problem. We all need time for our minds to take a mental break and were not going to get it unless its allotted by the school.

We also need less testing. We’re already pushing students to the brink in schools, why are we furthering their stress with meaningless numbers on a chart? It’s time we as a society refuse to let the ACT and SAT, already extremely sided tests, stop determining the worth of our child to institutions of higher learning.

It’s time we recognize the problem .

[araisininthepun]

For Peace in the Middle East

In 2010 the United States spent 21% of its 3.48 trillion dollar budget on defense. This includes investments in arms, the purchase of aircraft carriers, the salaries of military workers and the defense and maintenance of U.S. military bases. This number may seem like a lot, and that’s because it is. The United States has a knack for military spending, a trend which has continued to increase dramatically since the Raegan Administration (continued by both Republican and Democratic Presidents alike). Spending of this caliber can be traced back to funding militants in Iran during the Cold War and eventually to repressing those militants in the Middle East in the late 1980’s. This practice has proven to be beneficial to the United States since it has been one of the primary sources of billions of dollars being pumped into the economy. However, it has also created an imperialistic stigma in a nation which prides itself on freedom and resistance to oppression.

Since the first Bush administration the United States has held an active military presence in Iran; following the initiation of the War on Terrorism under the second Bush Administration, the United States has forcibly occupied Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq and continued in Iran. Although, today, we have been working to gradually decrease our occupation in the Middle East, there is still an immeasurable amount of hostility in the region due to the United States’ continuous aggression. These countries have been left war torn and decimated and have failed to receive aid from the U.S. The region lacks political stability and the U.S. has only exacerbated the problem by leaving the countries almost the same as when they came in the 80’s. The oppressive regimes in the Middle East use this to their advantage, hatred towards the United States is go –to propaganda in countries like Iran.

This brings up the question, what is there we can still do in the Middle East to improve relations with the U.S. without involving a military conflict? The answer is simple: Education.

To open the East to Western ideas and to a mindset of collaboration, the best thing we can do is to leave the region better than we found it. This would be achieved by supplying the population with an education courtesy of the “Nation of the Free.” To build a single school on the Middle East, the cost would be approximately $50,000. Expensive, but a worthy cause. The money we allocate to war could be converted to money we spend to bring peace in a region with long-held tensions. An educated population would support tolerance, increase female empowerment and provide a country with a political sphere open to the West. It may be simpler to shoot a person with a bullet, than to provide 12 years of an education, but the changes which would be brought about would create an enduring and resilient solution to this long-lasting problem.

  �����

[araisininthepun]

A Psychedelic Higher Education

My goal for college is to burnout,not in the sense of taking drugs or becoming apathetic to my education, but to liberate myself through a movement of peace and self-understanding. Instead of drinking away my sorrows and recklessly going to frat parties, I will alleviate the stress in my life by becoming truly serene. I have a dream-- that one day--- I can be the campus hippie.

I have a dream-- that one day--- I will be able to go to an Ivy League school and be the hippie on campus. I have a dream-- that one day-- my wardrobe will consist only of overalls, Birkenstocks, and tie-dye tshirts. I HAVE A DREAM-- that one day-- I will be able to hangout on the front lawn of campus and live life like a true hippie.

The Aesthetic

Being a hippie at an Ivy League school will not be easy, luckily, I have been preparing for years. I drive a 2004 Volkswagen Bug, not the hippie van I had wanted (my parents sold our 1968 van, along with my hopes and dreams). However, I managed to give it the psychedelic edge with adding a dream catcher to the rearview mirror and filling the door pockets with Creedence Clearwater Revival and Janis Joplin albums. I wanted to add a Eugene McCarthy bumper sticker, but my parents said “no” because they didn’t want me falling off the “flower child deep-end.” In addition to my car (which I may or may not be allowed to bring on campus), I have also began purchasing the decorations for my dorm room. The walls will be adorned with a large Bohemian tapestry along with the posters of my favorite old-time artists including: Jim Croce, CCR, Simon and Garfunkel and even Buffalo Springfield. However, I’ll still need more to spread the good vibrations; I am also going to bring along all of my art supplies, because nothing screams 1960’s counterculture like free expression through art. Hopefully these items will show to the world that I am devoted to my peaceful and righteous lifestyle.

The Irony

Why do I want to be a hippie? Thats a great question, and to be quite honest, I don’t have a definite answer. In a way I’ve always been a hippie; vegetarian since the second grade, a purist when it comes to classic rock, and I have always loved the idea of peaceful rebellion. Technically, becoming a hippie in college will not be too different compared to my current lifestyle, the only major change will be in my wardrobe. The changes will not be drastic, but one of the biggest factors contributing to my hopeful college metamorphosis is the irony that will come along with it. People will see me sitting on the campus green and think, “that dirty hippie must be an art student, why doesn’t she just go back to San Francisco where she belongs?” but the joke will be on them. I plan on going to college for architecture, a STEM major, and I’m even from one of the most conservative neighborhoods in Ohio. I will be living the dream on the campus green, getting an education and hopefully disillusioning people’s prejudices.

Not Just the Campus Bum

I pride myself on being a dedicated and hardworking student and I don’t plan on letting this slip away as I pass the Ivy covered gates of the University. Unlike, hippies, I will maintain my complete and utter devotion to my education and will be a productive member to society in terms of action and work rather than protest. However, college will be expensive, so working will be essential, and to be honest, I am very close minded when it comes to my future employment. There is only one profession where I can truly thrive as a campus flower child,  and that is one of the Troubadorial arts. The perfect way to spend my free time earning some extra pocket money will be by playing my acoustic guitar around the city of my college and serenading the passersbys with the melodious tunes of the generations past. I will sing songs of peace, songs of love and maybe even a few greatest hits to bring in the big bucks.

My goal for college is to burnout,not in the sense of taking drugs or becoming apathetic to my education, but to liberate myself through a movement of peace and self-understanding. Instead of drinking away my sorrows and recklessly going to frat parties, I will alleviate the stress in my life by becoming truly serene. I have a dream-- that one day--- I can be the campus hippie.

[araisininthepun]

Men’s Rights are Our Rights

I’m a woman, so every time I express my grievances they are usually disregarded as temperamental sentiments. Therefore, I want to express my views through a men’s rights perspective; because as much as we hate to admit it, women’s and men’s issues are congruent. By stifling one, we also hold back the progression of another.

It’s hard to be a man in today's world (not that it’s any easier to be a woman) and most of the problems men face are inflicted by a close-minded, antiquated society.We force men to live in a tightly restricted world where their views are to be within guidelines and their actions are expected to be aggressive and brutish. If a man is angry, he is supposed to express this through choice words which exemplify his power. We even expect the commitment of a violent act such as punching a wall or even someone’s face. We expect these reactions and we raise our men to play these parts; heaven forbid they chose the route of the female and cry or talk about their feelings. We expect the man to be the breadwinner, men are commonly shamed when they make less than their consort and face even worse opposition when a man makes a choice in order to fulfill the role of caretaker in their family. We shame, we confine, we degrade.

Besides our expectations for men, we also refuse to see the problems they face. When men are raped or face domestic violence (yes it does happen), we usually brush these issues aside and say the oh so common, “man up.” The problem isn't a lack of manhood, its a lack of perception and understanding. We let our view of society's ideal man disillusion what we should be advocating against. We shouldn't be letting people get raped and we shouldn't be encouraging men to let their voices go unheard. In addition to this, we shouldn't be giving excuses. No longer should their be excuses for rape, man or woman. Its an animalistic crime, and we shouldn't be acting like an animalistic society encouraging such a disgusting and primitive crime.

By confining and molding men, we create an impossible world for them to live and enable a mindset which congruently oppresses women. We expect women to be the antithesis of men and we shame anyone who goes their own way. When a man is expected to be a breadwinner, the woman should be a submissive, unambitious caretaker. When a man is angry and violent, a woman is supposed to be overtly emotional. When woman is raped, we expect that it’s somehow her fault and disregard that men also face the same crime and we fail to help with the conviction. We create a world where we make our own problems. Right’s for men and rights for women go hand-in-hand and its our job to change how we perceive gender. If we continue to shame, confine, and degrade, we cannot make progress for neither men nor women. Our society is unrealistic and unequal because we make it that way-- it’s time we make a change.

[araisininthepun]

Gender with Bill O’Reilly

This excerpt is from an episode of the O’Reilly Factor which recently aired on Fox News.*

Women complain and complain and complain, not really breaking news! However, they’ve moved onto different topics besides who should have to do the dishes.  Now their arguments are focused on their ‘subordinate” stance in society. These women have started a feminist movement to assert themselves above men after years of so called “oppression.”

In all honesty, I don’t see where they have room to make these claims; over the past 50 years a majority of women have left the home and entered the professional world-- some even hold seats in congress.

These radical women are making complaints about a wage gap saying that women are making less than men in the same careers, but I don’t see how this comes as a shock. Of course women are and should be making less when factors like maternity leave and physical ability are taken into consideration.

Claims are also made by these new feminists that our society promotes rape, but I have a question for these feminists: If we live in a country where we shame the crime and have the act made illegal, then how is it that we promote rape? Men and women alike are raped and its narrow minded to only fight for half of those affected. Especially with cases which have been prevalent through the news in the past few years like Penn State.

In my opinion, this is all a ploy by the Obama administration to earn the allegiance of young females in America. He’s creating imaginary problems so that he can present himself as the champion of women’s rights.

With our young women fired up about these illusions and seeing the democrats as heroes, it’s easy to see why women like Hillary Clinton have achieved so much popularity before the 2016 Presidential election. With trends like this continuing,  our government offices will be filled with women who were elected in based on gender instead of qualifications. If you think the White House is ineffective now, just wait and see what will happen if another Clinton enters office.

What I think should happen is that we should be directing our attention elsewhere. We have women in our armed forces, women in the business sector and eve women in our government. The last thing we need is for feminists, or as they are called, feminazis, picking fights in order to help out the liberals. We live in a country where even our founding fathers said that all men are created equal; I see no reason why this would disclude women. Now more than ever, it’s important to keep our heads on straight and weary of falsities propelled by the media.

That's all the time we have for The Factor. As always, we thank you for watching. I'm Bill O'Reilly. Good night.

*This was an essay for an English class, the following is not dialog from Bill O’Reilly.

[araisininthepun]

A cluster of over a hundred people gather around 3 posters hanging on the wall of a convention center. A sight which can only be compared to the masses of people who stand around the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. However, these people aren’t here to see precious art, they are waiting to see which Certamen teams will make it to the final round.

Every year, over two-hundred middle to high-school students arrive at the Ohio Junior Classical League Convention to compete in the State Certamen Tournament. This quiz bowl style competition, which is based on the Latin curriculum, attracts students from Cleveland all the way to Cincinnati. Ohio is one of the most competitive states when it comes to Certamen, their team of combined players from across the state has been awarded seven National Championship titles since the games founding in 1972.

Certamen is by far, unlike any other sport; certamen caters to what students are passionate about. Highly contrasting to most sports where the athletes adapt their love to the sport. Students who love the Classics are drawn to Certamen:

“Certamen is the classics condensed into a series of intense, electrifying moments. It combines the adrenaline rush of competition with the joy of the culmination of your studying, and the coordination a good team requires can only be built by strong bonds of friendship.” (Ben Robertson, Shaker Heights/University of Chicago, State Champion and National Certamener).

Students are asked a variety of questions revolving around Roman history, mythology, language and literature. Even though this sport revolves around academics, spectators are never in short supply; over 300 people are crammed into a ballroom to watch their classmates compete for the state title. The room grows deadly silent as each questions is asked, gasps follow wrong answers and cheers erupt with those that are correct. The audience holds signs with the names of their favorite players, some spectators even have coordinated cheers. Intensity fills the air as students compete for glory:

“Certamen holds you riveted by each word of the moderator as he reads the question. You concentrate on every syllable, hoping against hope for that one word that ignites the fire of understanding. As the moment arrives the explosive force of  understanding sweeps from every part of your body and rushes into one mighty press of the button. With that single motion you are reaching for that exhilarating chance to expel your knowledge and claim your prize.” (Dustin Argo, Summit Country Day, State Finalist and National Champion).

Certamen involvement continues to grow by size and popularity across Ohio and the Nation each year. Schools such as Harvard and Yale have even jumped on the bandwagon to host their own Certamen tournament. It also heralds scholars; kids who typically sit in the bleachers at football games or sigh when their accomplishments are never read on the announcements at school are finally recognized. Groups of people attend their matches to finally cheer the brainy kids on. Its finally time for the academics to shine in a world of jocks and preps. Certamen may be the nerdiest invention since Crocks, but it foster a passion for learning, unparalleled to any other sport

[araisininthepun]

Maybe it was our parents who pushed us, or it was a Darwinian trait passed through generations. Competition and trying have brought us from caves to colleges and crayons. Lebron James isn’t allowed in a third-grade-girls rec-league so that professional basketball will always be improving.

We are all competitive; whether it be a habit installed by our parents or as a trait gained from natural selection. We all want to be the best-- mundanity isn’t a sport.

When we were in kindergarten, we all wanted to be the most popular. Therefore, we all wanted the 64 pack of Crayola Crayons. The complimentary Crayon sharpener in the box brought the rugrats in like flies. In the the third grade, we wanted more than anything to win the rec-league basketball tournament. Nothing could be more vicious than a group of small girls fighting for shiny, plastic trophies. In high school, we want the best grades. We want to go to the best colleges. We want to prove to everyone who ever looked at us the wrong way that we were something to be reckoned with.

But what would've happened if our mom’s didn’t give in on the fateful school supplies shopping trip to Wal-mart? Would we still get in to our top choice college? Would we still be able to have a successful life?

Yes and No.

You don’t have to be the best at everything, you don’t have to win that basketball tournament. Chances are, you’re parents will still love you when you bring home a slightly shorter trophy and the other small girls will still be your friend even after the game. Being competitive and trying are completely different things; coaches never seem to understand this but players often do.  Competition is about being first, it’s about beating the other team, it’s about winning a game of numbers, and it’s about making sure someone else loses. Trying is where the game gets tough, trying is mental, there are no numbers involved. Trying is a game of you vs. you, everyone else is there to watch from the sidelines. In reality the two produce far different results; when you are competitive, you have done what was expected, when you try, you surprise yourself and create new expectations.

On the opposing third grade girls or basketball team, they managed to find a leeway in the rec-league basketball rules and found a way to get Lebron James on their team. All of the other girls sit on the sideline and watch and Lebron brutally pulverizes your team. Lebron is being competitive, he’s working the numbers, his goal is winning. However, Lebron isn’t trying. By simply extending his arm he can dunk the ball into the standard third grade high hoop. No jumping required. Lebron could win the game with a broken arm while blindfolded.

Competition and trying are two starkly different things, but put together they can create success. Competition combined with trying removes the ill-will for others and creates motives for self-improvement. They provide you with drive, which puts you on a path of self-discovery. You find your strengths and weaknesses. You find who you are and who you want to be. When you achieve something, you get an empty feeling inside. Trying and competition fill you with anticipation, which propel you towards greater things.

[araisininthepun]

Over-Glorified Yodels

Language isn’t beautiful and neither are spoons. Ice cream is beautiful and spoons help with the delivery; language works in the same way. There is nothing magical about our overglorified yodels and manic symbols, but they create worlds for us inaccessible without their use. Language is a tool-- language helps create beauty.

Language isn’t beautiful. Words aren’t beautiful. Speech isn’t Beautiful. They exist and serve a noble purpose, but so do spoons. How are spoons and languages any different from each other? They both are tools that humans use, but they’re not necessary to survival--  as a race, we could live without spoons and language.

Many people claim language is beautiful because it is something hardly any other species is capable of. Well, if language is celebrated only because other species can’t partake, then why don’t we celebrate thumbs to the same extent? In schools we should have entire classes dedicated to thumbology and have a section dedicated to the uses of the thumb on the SAT. The argument for the beauty of language is just as ridiculous as the idea that thumbs are deserving of a syllabus.

Another defense for language is that it helps us communicate with other people; yes, this is true, but I can also communicate with others by crying, or smiling. To the untrained ear, language is a conglomeration of formulated throat contractions. To a trained ear language is still the conglomeration of formulated throat contractions, but the person who understands the language can understand the meaning behind it.

Language is disgusting; it does nothing but ruin silence and peace. However, what language is used for is where the beauty truly lies. Language brings deeper meaning to actions, it is a tool for expression-- to help us say more than what can be expressed by pointing, smiling or crying. Language supplies motives, gives us a way to express empathy and tell stories. Without language we wouldn't have Homer, Tolstoy, Austen, Pound or Salinger; we wouldn't have stories which have traveled through generations with the capability of expressing to modern audiences what they did when they were written.

Language isn’t beautiful and neither are spoons. Ice cream is beautiful and spoons help with the delivery; language works in the same way. There is nothing magical about our over-glorified yodels and manic symbols, but they create worlds for us, inaccessible without their use. Language is a tool-- language helps create beauty.

[araisininthepun]

Grammar Nazi's Brutal Takeover

All you Grammar Nazi’s out there need to take a horse-sized chill pill and calm down. There is no need for constant correction and unwanted assertions. English is supposed to be a creative and fluid language with room for creativity, by making changes it further evolves like it has done over the past 2,000 years. Being a Grammar Nazi only halts our evolution, language is meant to be used, not constantly nit-picked.

Grammar Nazi’s: they’re everywhere. Around the corners watching your every move, correcting your every sentence. They prey on the unsuspecting and weak-- all the want is to impose their oppressive regime which was carefully formulated by the Oxford Dictionary’s Book of English Grammar. The Nazi’s wish to create a master race of humans; humans with no flaws or linguistic character-- humans who always know where to place a comma.

Quite frankly, I hate Grammar Nazi’s, they are rude and self-important.  Nothing is worse than when you are talking to someone and they stop you midsentence to mention that you incorrectly used effect instead of affect. What was the point of that? Was it worth ruining our conversation in order to assert your grammatical superiority? I feel like Poland and you just trampled over my happiness. If you understand what I’m trying to convey in a sentence, then my grammatical skills did their job. The purpose of grammar is to help deliver meaning and minimize confusion with the audience. If you understand what I said, the job is done. Constantly correcting people with your keen grammatical insight will not prove to people how smart you are, more likely it will only convince them that your over inflated ego needs to have a run-in with a needle. Its not as if when you apply to Harvard, they’re going to know you saved the lives of 98 sentence structures last year. Heck, the school probably hates grammar Nazi’s just as much as I do and will slap you. Yes, and I meant what I said grammatically. The brick buildings of Harvard itself, will lift up their foundations and hunt you down to deliver a slap to your pompous face!

Conversational grammar should be as a free as a bird,  there is no reason to be a bored house cat who pounces at every grammatical mistake they find. However, essays and written pieces are different. Grammar can be used artfully like in poetry to create rhythm and help the author emphasize a point, or it can be used in a term paper to help you list off points. The main point is that grammar is a tool for the author, not a weapon. Writers should be allowed to use their punctuation to help their piece, we should not have to be afraid of all the non-letter symbols on the keyboard. If the purpose of a piece is understood and properly conveys its meaning, then it should be up to them where they take their semicolons from there.

All you Grammar Nazi’s out there need to take a horse-sized chill pill and calm down. There is no need for constant correction and unwanted assertions. English is supposed to be a creative and fluid language with room for creativity, by making changes it further evolves like it has done over the past 2,000 years. Being a Grammar Nazi only halts our evolution, language is meant to be used, not constantly nit-picked.

[araisininthepun]

Genies and the Presidency

“Aright,” the genie reluctantly said,”you’re wish is my command.” I looked the genie in the eye and said,”I love America, I would never do anything to harm this great nation. That’s why, I have chosen Tina Fey, she will be our Founding Mother and lead these United States towards prosperity! If anyone is right for the Presidency, its Mrs. Fey.”

“Congratulations! the genie exclaimed,” you get to choose the next President of the United States! Now who will it be?” ”Well this is a tuffie,” I said to the genie,”but I think I will have to go with Tina Fey.” “Tina Fey?” the genie questioned,”... but why? She’s just a comedian.”

Tina Fey is one of the most multifaceted and impressive women to have ever graced God’s green Earth. Now, you may be confused, Tina Fey isn’t a politician, she’s never even worked for the government and the most experience she’s had with foreign policy is in her SNL skits where she is acting with Bin Laden. However, I believe that I can prove to  you that Tina is one of the wittiest and accomplished women of all time and is the perfect choice for President of our great nation.

Beauty is a virtue, and the TV world is the most virtuous of them all; every single actor/actress has the face of a righteous sculpture and has just the right amount of cleavage to keep a prime time program rated TV14. Tina Fey, is a fine piece of woman, however being the eye candy of a sitcom was not how she made her claim to fame. The brainy beauty started her journey at the University of Virginia, a public ivy, where she gained her BA in drama. She then joined the Second City Comedy Group and where she was discovered by Lorne Michaels and hired as a writer for Saturday Night Live. Within two years she became head writer of one of the most famous comedy shows in the world and was on her way to a distinguished future. She began acting in the SNL sketches and also started work on Mean Girls, which she also starred in. She later appealed to NBC to start her own show ,30 Rock, which ended up being a huge success and achieved 112 Emmy nominations before its completion.  All of this was accomplished in less than twenty years, a testament to her hard work and capabilities.

Yeah, yeah, I know-- this may prove to you that she’s an excellent comedian and writer, but how in the world would this translate to the Presidency? Let me enlighten you. Comedy is hard work and you have to be one sharp cookie in order to make light out of a dismal situation. Now I’m not claiming we should have a President telling knock-knock jokes at the state of the union, but it would be nice to have a quick witted woman in charge of the free nation. She’s a genius but is that enough? Of course not! Tina Fey is also a role model for women everywhere and we need a role model to represent our country. Most hollywood actresses cry and show some cleavage in front of a camera to inch their ways towards success, but Tina has climbed to the top of the celebrity world with sheer genius alone. This woman of skill and accuity has done wonders in the comedy world, just imagine what she will be able to do in Washington!

[araisininthepun]

I Wish YA Was MIA

I’m not saying we need to pull a Fahrenheit 451 ͒   and burn every YA book which has ever hit the shelves of Barnes and Noble, but we need to see repetivity of the plots of the books we spend $30.00 for. If in my youth I had read Atlas Shrugged and Romeo and Juliet, I believe I would have satisfied my need for stereotypical teenage literature and would have saved a lot of money. YA books are only trends and I could have spent those hours reading classics novels instead of the junk in the teen section of Borders. There is a reason we call some books classics, and a reason I can’t even think of what the popular books were when my parents were my age.

Lets start off with this: I’m not a voracious reader, but when it comes to judging books I usually have a clue about what I’m reading. Anymore, books are like shoes; one day they’re trending and two years later you can’t even find them at the bookstore. The genre of novels which  always swings to fads is the Young Adult category, which is banal to say the least. Almost all of the books written for teenagers contain two plots; Romeo and Juliet, along with Atlas Shrugged. With only two plot varieties with slight differentiation when it comes to characters and setting, its easy to see why YA’s only last on bookshelves for so long. Unknowingly, William Shakespeare and Ayn Rand wrote unpredictably influential stories, which, to this day continue in our popular literature.

Lucy lives in a small town where no one understands her; as a teenage girl she is vulnerable and struggles to see the positive aspects of her existence. That is, until Jason moves in across the street. Jason and Lucy run into each other at a coffee shop and they immediately fall in love. But wait, theres a problem! Jason has a tattoo of his dead friend’s name on his arm-- Lucy isn’t allowed to date boys with tattoos. Their love is forbidden! Eventually Lucy decides she wants to rebel and date Jason anyways. The book ends with the two gazing lovingly into each others eyes. I just wrote the synopsis of a YA book in less than 5 minutes, this should prove that our fad novels are nothing more than trite renditions of many YA books before . Every YA romance novel follows the same plot, Romeo and Juliet. This simple plot has been pumped into the minds of adolescents for so long that they think forbidden love between two fourteen year olds is the most romantic thing in the history of the written word. One of the character is emotionally damaged, the other needs the assurance of the opposite sex (their love interest) in order to value their self worth, something “major” happens which keeps them apart, they magically end up back together because juvenile love conquers all. Popular books of today which have feed into  this plot fad include: every book by Sarah Dessen, the Summer I Turned Pretty, If I Stay, and the Future of Us. The multitude of books in this category go to show further prove the point of an overused plot template, but as YA books tend to trend, so do dystopian settings.

Ayn Rand was a Russian Jew who had lived during the Revolution of 1917 and immigrated to the United States in order to escape the new socialist government. When she wrote her book, Atlas Shrugged, she intended to spread her objectivist/capitalist ideals through a fictional setting with characters facing a similar revolution she had seen as a child. Little did she know that her writing would be slaughtered to create the plot template of many YA dystopian novels which trend today. Boy/girl struggles to get by in the dystopian society created by an oppressive government or authoritarian regime. Boy/girl meets a member of the opposite sex who introduces them to the revolution, and they fall in love. The two lovebirds/anarchists magically overthrow the government and create a free world with capitalism for all! Not to mention the nice feeling of rebellion which strikes a chord with the smelly teenaged spirited readers at home What I just described may seem absurd, but this is what teens buy and read. Examples of contemporary novels which follow this plot to the tee include: the Hunger Games,   the Mortal Instruments, Among the Hidden, Witch and Wizard and Divergent. YA dystopian novels have an extreme appeal with teenagers who live in a world they can only hate-- their love for anarchy and anger are perfectly relinquished through the destruction of an imaginary world.

[araisininthepun]

Twenty Eight Cups of Coffee and Eight Sleepless Nights

As I walk through the halls I see children crying; it is exam week and humanity is void at Turpin High School. The hundreds of students that Turpin serves are experiencing mental breakdowns along with anxiety attacks from the stress of the prolonged week, to the point where many are openly crying in their classes. The student body is being over-worked and exhausted to their brink, while parents try to make concessions with the administration for the sake of their children’s sanity. As of the first semester of the 2014 school year, Turpin has altered its schedule to mimic that of the college system , where exams are placed before the Winter Holiday break. However, to equally divide up the year, the semester in which they are administered for is not completed until the middle of January (two weeks after the return from break). This system has created many problems and is under fire from teachers, parents and the student body alike.

Two of the biggest problems with the new exam schedule are that they are placed at an awkward time in the year so students are ill prepared and that they also overlap within the quarter with classes still in progress. With the placement of exams before the winter break, students no longer have an extended amount of time, homework free, to study. We are forced to find ways to equate time into our already rigorous course loads to maintain our grades. This is unfair and also unrealistic considering most students feel overwhelmed by their homework alone. To make matters worse, since the exams are in the middle of the quarter, classes still continue and students are expected to do work and take tests while they are taking exams for other classes. This harms the students in many ways; it leads a burnt out environment/attitude in their other classes and it also detracts from studying for the exams (which provide needed practice and preparation for AP exams in the spring). The new system is beating the student body into a lifeless pulp, learning is extremely hard to be achieved when the students feel like they are being attacked by the schools.

It is widely understood that exams are a fundamental part of the academic experience for high school and college alike; they provide an opportunity for review and assessment along with preparing the AP students for their exams in the spring. However, exams should make students feel like they’re only option is failure. We shouldn’t have to pick and choose between class work and a test which is calculated as 10% of our grade. To help instigate a positive change, I propose that in the following year, the second quarter should be shortened to end before the Winter Holiday break. This will give teachers the opportunity to adjust their classes and exams so that they cover the appropriate amount of material within the allotted time while also allowing students have solidarity within their schedules. The days of exams should also be purely for exams, it is ludicrous to expect students to be able to function when overwhelmed with course work along with studying. We need separation, and we need a schedule that will be conductive to our learning.