ever wonder WHY?

A dreamy fan, searching for meaning in life to get by. A frustrated writer and a witty friend who is trying to cope up. Now, ever wonder WHY? SHINee. Onew. Asian-Somethings. Interesting happenings. Life in general.

[arasssiii]

the part i *melts*

[arasssiii]

I posted this 12 years ago, after going through all my tumblr posts. I am going to post this today~

[arasssiii]

Hi

Hi! it has been a while. My last post in tumblr was 2 years - oh, no, 3 years ago. when everything was sad and frustrating during the pandemic. Today, I had the time to reflect a bit, its the Good Friday after all, I began looking back. and every page from my tumblr page seem distant but familiar at the same time. Each tumblr showed me how much I was yearning, broken, happy, sad, frustrated and immature years ago. But today, I went over it and realized how much I had grown and how much more I need to.

Maybe today I was bound to reflect and question everything that was happening to me. I have not done any work that I needed to do, but today is the first day that I was able to be above my head, just for a little bit.

I am frustrated and passive with myself. I should know where I am now. On the contrary, I am lost again. Again, I feel like I do not belong... This feels unbelievably familiar; this has been my dilemma before. I, again, do not belong here again. 

and it's taking a toll on me.

[arasssiii]

To beginnings and more~! Given the circumstances, our simple opening pushed thru. Coming days might be challenging because of the new normal, but we'll find ways to satisfy each K-ravings. We welcome the -ber months with hope, prosperity and prayer for everyone's protection. 화이팅! #arasssiii2020 (at Yeobo Mart) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEmOT0MneDr/?igshid=1roypqcm5adjw

[arasssiii]

Last night, I randomly missed traveling. I went over my past travel photos, and realize that I was so lucky to have travel to a lot of places before. Today, we went to a nearby destination. It was such a treat to go to somewhere new, after few months of being in quarantine. Welcoming August with full of hope!🤗 #arasssiii2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CDViA6cHXTQ/?igshid=ugl7mll4wwu

[arasssiii]

Honestly, When I saw these Angel Locsin's photos, I identified myself, "That is my body, too!" It is not "FAT", it is thicc, it's sexy, it's beautiful, it's #bodypositivity. I came to re-realize that body positivity is loving the body that you are in now and in the future, not being shy about it, embracing it. You maybe thicc, curvy, tall, short, full-chested, flat-chested, apple figured, slim, petite or whatever you are at the moment and in the future, you are still you! Your heart, your personality, your intentions, your dreams are NOT defined by the body you are in now and in the future.

So Kudos to your body now! I am loving your body right now!

🥰🥰🥰

[arasssiii]

Honestly, When I saw these Angel Locsin's photos, I identified myself, "That is my body, too!" It is not "FAT", it is thicc, it's sexy, it's beautiful, it's #bodypositivity. I came to re-realize that body positivity is loving the body that you are in now and in the future, not being shy about it, embracing it. You maybe thicc, curvy, tall, short, full-chested, flat-chested, apple figured, slim, petite or whatever you are at the moment and in the future, you are still you! Your heart, your personality, your intentions, your dreams are NOT defined by the body you are in now and in the future.

So Kudos to your body now! I am loving your body right now!

🥰🥰🥰

[arasssiii]

Today marks the the start of the month June, the 6 of 12 months, half of the year. At the start of 2020, I prepared for a battle, but unlike the battles of the past years, this year was different. My being was challenged. In the past months, I try my best to cope with everything that has happened. I try to be positive to cope up. There are some days that I question a lot of things, but there are days that I get inspired. I read books, wrote some poems, recorded some songs, watched a lot of series, learned new recipes, put on make-up just because, daydreamed, catch up with friends, and I found myself doing something bit crazy, just to be sane. I try to take it day by day, task by task. My daily struggles are not yet over and the battle is half way too. I have a lot more to learn. Parading the collection of my made-up self is just a reflection of my coping up. I am just proud and thankful to myself, I am still here, I am still me.🥰 #arasssiii2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CA5QGw1n95E/?igshid=fqst8orrm1yl

[arasssiii]

It feels good to see and talk to familiar faces and to celebrate the 12th year of #SHINee, or just to celebrate in general, or just to uplift our spirits, especially in the middle of this pandemic. I just needed it! #arasssiii2020 (at Bayombong, Nueva Vizcaya) https://www.instagram.com/p/CApGWR0nU8i/?igshid=idvqf9mp99lw

[arasssiii]

Volcano by Damian Rice Cover #byara2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CAKqwNeHOFHtJ_IhJ5Bx-lYBh9LvPl1LB3U-HU0/?igshid=1kb1d8fgmvbi9

[arasssiii]

I turn to you when I want to escape.

[arasssiii]

I stopped watching travel shows, 'cause I will miss traveling.

I stopped watching cooking and food shows 'cause, I think it points out the hunger in time of this crisis.

I stopped watching action movies 'cause there is too much concerns in the world, I dont need more.

I stopped watching love stories 'cause my heart twinges with the lack there of.

I just miss the alternative of escape to the old normal.

#byara2020

[arasssiii]

A cover attempt of "All I Want" by Kodaline

[arasssiii]

Same, 6 years later.

"I don't want to go back"

[arasssiii]

So, I was thinking...#coviddiaries #arasssiii2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/B-_v_F2n_1X/?igshid=m5evdeazccxb

[arasssiii]

"Happy birthday, I miss you so much. I'm always sorry. I love you always."

-Key

I feel the same way.😭

[arasssiii]

Happy Birthday Jonghyun! I miss you! I still get sad when I see old videos of you, my OT5. Hope you are overseeing us up there dear angel😇 Lots of ❤❤❤

[arasssiii]

Maria Kirstenn

KPOP BOYS these days could never have the opportunity like before to be a huge rival of Girls' Generation for the title of NGG. It only happ

Yep. Still GOLD!