JBB: An Artblog!
@theartofmadeline
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art blog(derogatory)
will byers stan first human second
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NASA
oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
Andulka
Misplaced Lens Cap
KIROKAZE
d e v o n
todays bird
tumblr dot com
Mike Driver
shark vs the universe
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seen from Morocco
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@arborgreen
(does the rabbit sign for "This guy is way too pricey and snarky, shop somewhere else." outside of Arbor's store.) (Nopony understands and so simply ignore the indignant bunny.)
Arbor also doesn’t understand it, and assumes it’s a gang sign. He heads inside to get a cleaning potion to scrub it off the wall.
"You! Potion horse man!" An agitated looking stallion bustles into your business, looking incredibly vexed. "I tried to make a potion and now I've turned my dick into spiders. You gotta fix this immediately!" He twitches awkwardly. "They're biting." Oh my.
“...How the hell did you manage to do that to yourself!?”
Hours pass. You have terrible nightmares of giant horses ruining all your stuff, pink mares with masks being struck by lightning, huge spiders eating pizza, and goats rapping. (Everyone knows goat can't rap.) When you wake, you notice that your store is still in shambles, but the hulking smashstallion has left. There is a pile of gold-coloured dust by your head, that MIGHT have once been bits.
Arbor sighs, gathers up the gold dust, and gets to work tidying up his shop.
Through your difficulty in even getting near the behemothic MEGAHORSE, you manage to ascend your ladder and position yourself to pour the potion. Which you do, obviously. There's no reason not to, i mean, - OH. OH NO. The liquid of the potion is simply evaporating before it can get near the big guy's open mouth. This is awful. This is terrible.
Arbor starts screaming. Just a long sustained scream. It continues until he passes out.
Arbor this is an amazing idea. The vast, towering mass of a stallion nods their head, the g-forces from the act whooshing against your face, the stallion looking eager to finally have their curse lifted.
Arbor gets the stepladder and sets it up next to the HORRIBLE MUSCLEBEAST.
She sheer force of the horse's hooves as they reach for the vial in your magic's grasp push you back. This is going to be more of a challenge then you thought. The stallion keeps moving forwards in an attempt to quaff the elixir, but you're consistently being forced to maintain a distance from the overpowered monstrosity in the form of a horse. And you're running out of space to back up into.
“Okay this isn’t working, uh...” He thinks. “...Let me get a stepladder and pour it into your mouth from above.” Arbor this is an awful idea.
The great bulwark of a horse looks apologetically at you, more than half your displays reduced to nothing but tiny specks of their former selves. The gigantic stallion scuffs a hoof as they consider your proposal (leaving a great groove in your floor), before grinning. "I'll drink it!"
He looks at what’s left of his shop in horror.“Uh...Yes, please, hurry.”
As you attempt to brew up a solution for the great stallion's sheer destructive aura, the hilarious pressure of smashing that the stallion creates through simple existence, you hear many little bangs and poofs from inside your store, where the stallion is clumsily knocking into things and watching them explode into nothing more than particles. Truly tragic.
After about half an hour, the treehorse emerges from his brewing room, holding a purple potion bellowing smoke. “...Okay, now how do we get this into you...?”
The GIGANTIC AMALGATION OF RAW MUSCLEY POWER starts forwards, as if he's going to jump for joy, but a slight brush of his hoof against your counter (and the resultant disintegration of it) make him reconsider. "THANK YOU SO MUCH. I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT!" Although he is speaking softly, the sheer force of his words blow your mane to and fro and make you involuntarily shake a little from instinctual fear.
“Yeah I’ll just...Go... Make that.” He gallops back into his brewing room.
A huge, muscley BEAST of a stallion shoulders his way into your emporium, his broadness of frame almost double yours. He looks down at you, grinning STRONGLY, muscles rippling in the most intimidating display of raw physical power you have ever seen. "I NEED ME A POTION THAT MAKES ME NOT CRUSH EVERYTHING I SLIGHTLY TOUCH INTO DUST."
Arbor stares at the HORRIFYING MUSCLEBEAST in a mixture of awe and terror for a moment before responding. “Uh... I think I can brew something to help, but we don’t have anything like that in stock right now...”
So how is the business going? I'm looking for a potion that expands explicit areas of my body. The ears. Also, topically, how is it that you, a horse, came to be able to understand rabbit sign language? (Clearly how Angel Bunny and therefore all equis lagomorphs communicate).
“I don’t have anything for ears SPECIFICALLY, but if you give me a bit I can cook something up.” The horse cannot explain how he understands rabbit sign language, as he doesn’t know either. PLOT HOOOOOOOOLE.
I reach up and pat the horse on his dumb schnozz.
The horse is patted on his dumb schnoz.
Oh sorry i forgot you don't have nuts my apologies
“I’m going to kick you.”
ARBORDEEZ NUTS.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Arbordeez.
No
So how many horse chestnuts can you eat at once without getting sick
???
Come to the east moon City gate in the next 15 minutes if u want an ass kicking
Come to the moon city brothel in the next 30 minutes if u want an ass kicking
Come to the Sun Shack in Cloudsdale in the next 10 seconds if u want an ass kicking
Come to my son’s daycare in the next 12 minutes if u want an ass kicking
Come to the Ponyville Zoo and Aquarium in the next hour if u want an ass kicking
Come to Queen Nightmare’s secret ███ ███████ in the next ██ minutes if u want an ass kicking
Come to the void in the next 3000 years if u want an ass kicking
Come to the Felix memorial park playground in the next half hour if u want an ass kicking
Come to the spooky ruins in the Everfree Forest in the next 66 minutes if you want an ass kicking.
