jayces #1 defender

current queue:13 posts 2 times a day

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Echo: Hey Jayce , can you give me the opposite of these words? Echo: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Jayce : Never, Going, To, Give, You- Jayce : The fucking satisfaction.

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Jinx: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

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Echo: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Jinx: Schrödinger's boys. Viktor: FUCK! Vi : What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Jayce : As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Jayce : All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Echo: ... Jinx: ... Viktor: ... Vi : ... Jayce : Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

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Vi : My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

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Vi : We’re going to a candy store?! Jayce : No! It’s nighttime, candy stores are closed. Jinx: We’re gonna ROB a candy store?!?! Jayce , sighing: No-

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Jayce : It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. Jinx, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

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Echo: You didn’t cry when bambi’s mother died?! Viktor, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

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Caitlin: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk? Echo: It's Jinx's turn. Jinx: Don't die. Echo, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

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Jayce : I feel like I have died and gone to heaven. Vi : I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

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Jinx: Today is Non-binary Awareness Day! Jinx, staring into Echo’s eyes: I AM AWARE OF YOU. Echo: Really wish you weren’t.

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Jinx, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette. Vi : But Jinx, we don't smoke. Jinx: Cut the crap, Vi . I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke. Jinx: *points at Viktor* One! *points at Echo* Two! *points at Caitlin* Three! *points at Jayce * Four! *points at Vi * Five! Jinx: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers! Viktor: *puts a cigarrette in Jinx's hand* Jinx: Thank you. ...Light? The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

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*Viktor is reading a Clifford The Big Red Dog book* Echo, watching: How did he get to be so big? Do they ever explain that? Viktor: Well, Emily’s love for him grew, and so did he. Echo: Well, your dog is pretty small. Guess that says something about you, huh? Viktor, angrily shutting their book: YOU’RE SMALL! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?!

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Jayce : Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Echo: language Caitlin: Yeah watch your fucking language Vi : Okay, who taught Caitlin the fuck word?! Jinx: 'The fuck word'. Viktor: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Caitlin: Oh my god they censored it Jinx: Say fuck, Viktor. Caitlin: Do it, Viktor. Say fuck.

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Echo, teaching Jayce to drive: Okay, you're driving and Viktor and Vi walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Jayce : Oh, definitely Vi . I could never hurt Viktor. Echo, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Jinx: A person can really hear themselves think out here.

Jinx’s mind: Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked!? WILL YOU DIE ALONE!?

Jinx: Well, that was a mistake.

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Vi : Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? Caitlin: Wait, what’s the difference? Vi : One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

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Jayce : You can do it Vi ! Jayce : But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.