Archer Barnes

nothing kills man faster than his own head

[archer-barnes-blog]

artemispng:

“Alright, that’s all my life goals and plans completed and checked off. Now I can just die happily know I have made it, I am the real life Bubbles. I’ve got to ring my dad and tell him this too! Listen, I am definitely smarter than bubbles! I don’t take premed to fail, you know. And I’m cuter, look at me! I’m like pretty fucking cute. Please, lovely, have you even been to a party without me,” she replied jokingly. “What! I am genuinely offended right now, like honestly, what ego? I am like the least egotistical person alive. Actually, you know what I think just for that comment I’m going to have to escort you to the door,” she tried to say with a straight face but the smile on her face wouldn’t flatten as she continued to speak. “Ugh! That’s quite rude. I only stalk you because I love you, and I need to make sure that you’re all right at all time.” Lolling her head back, she laughed and shook her head. “You sure you didn’t just Google that information after the games end? But in all honesty, I know I watch some of these things with you, but I still have absolutely no idea what you said or even if your information is correct so I’ll just nod my head and say ‘alright, Archer, you definitely give massive fucks about these things that you clearly do not pay attention to when I’m over.’” Sighing, she knew he was right but she didn’t want anything to change. She loved how things were, and she knew it was selfish of her wanting everything to stay the same but there were somethings she couldn’t help. “Don’t even talk like that, you know you’ll have me as a friend no matter what happens - unless you land yourself one of those catty girls who are extremely jealous, then you’ll have me as a secret friend because I am definitely not about the fighting life at the height of 5′1. Bro, you know if you’ve got a bucket list I’ll make sure you go through all those things before you die, or get married. I would say they’re like the same thing but now that I am getting married in like I don’t know how long, it’s completely changed my views on it. But yes, we are the fucking dream team! You and I, we got this and every other complication life decides would be cool to throw at us.” Her brows raise as she gently holds her bottom lip between her teeth. “’Mrs. Always Right’ oh god, that, yeah, you’re right - that is me ad would have been absolutely perfect. But that would have also been so cliche of you, my friend, I am glad I’ve taught you better than the regular.” Her jaw dropped as she saw the cover of the scrapbook. Her first reason was to cover her mouth with her hands as she tried to hold back another fit of laughter. As her eyes landed on the photo she cringed and laughed, shaking her head. “Oh my god - Oh my fucking - Oh god! Oh no, look at me, I look god awful!” She said between breaths. Jumping down from the counter, she walked towards Archer, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder as she tried to stop laughing. “Oh, it’s perfect. Oh god, I love it so much, even if I look god awful. God, how long did that even take you to make? And if there are more embarrassing pictures of me on here Archer I swear to god I will like sit on you until you somehow become nothing!” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you’re like a little ADHD but you’ve got so much brains in your head. Oh, you know what -- maybe that’s why you’re the way you are. Your brain is too big for you head?” He laughed, “I’ve never been to a party with you. But are we going to forget that you once took me to a party and then I woke up in the bottom of an empty swimming pool with a different women’s shirt on, no phone, and oh yeah, in Orlando. I can not trust you with my safety.” He feigned turning away to go to the door but laughed a little bit too much on his way to it. He definitely didn’t want to leave her any time soon. The night may be young but for some reason, it felt a little bit like it could be over any minute. He then scoffed at her accusation, “Okay so I downloaded the NHL app and learned it all from there, but hear me out: hockey is way more interesting than football and I have to maintain my masculinity somehow. But honestly I think we could take on the Lightning. Me and you in hockey masks. We are the dream team. We could do anything. You know what, maybe we would end up being those people who clean up the ice afterwards but we would still be kickass at it.” He took her into the embrace, feeling a lot happier all of the sudden. Obviously marriage wasn’t the end of the end of the world cause she’s right. Roman would call him a few weeks afterwards and ask when he can pick Artemis up or something like that, but they would always be pretty perfect just like this. “You love it? I swear there’s some terrible terrible pictures of me in there too. You can look at the bad pictures of Astrid too and -- and of basically everything in there is funny. There’s quotes and ticket stubs from when we went to see the new Star Wars movie and hated it. It’s like ... a little chunk of the past for you.” He gave her a cheesy smile, “Like this part is over, right? But we’re gonna add a lot more kick-ass stuff to this one you’re Mrs. Always Right.”

[archer-barnes-blog]

artemispng:

Covering her mouth with her hand, she let out a small fit of giggles as he spoke. “I’m taking all of that as a compliment, just so you know. I mean, we all need a little mess of happiness and joy running around, right, I’m happy to be that mess. Am I seriously bubbles on your phone? Oh my god, show me, this is amazing. You know, Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls was who I aspired to be growing up. - Okay, but that completely defeats the purpose, or does it. Bubbles with a hint of you know, like -” she tried to continue her sentence using hand gestures that didn’t even seem to make sense to her causing her to scrunch her nose and shake her head at herself. “yes, anyways, please.” She’d be lying if she said she didn’t get a little nervous as he continued to speak. She wasn’t sure what to expect out of this, but if it had to do with him and Astrid, her only bets were good, but even then, she had no idea. Her fingers tapping on the table as she waited for him to take whatever out as she swallowed a lump growing in her throat. “Oh my god, shh, it’s too early for wedding and honeymoon talk, I just got engaged. Okay, but I’m going to cut you off really quickly because in a sense this sounds like you’re almost breaking up with me when you say ‘things won’t be the same from here on out’, like of course they’ll be the same - only difference is I’ll be married. You know damn well I’ll still be sleeping over and making you watch The Notebook with me like every weekend after we watch ‘the game’ that you so dearly enjoy,” she rambled herself but she couldn’t help it, she didn’t want anything to change with her best friends seeing she was getting married. “Oh god, you made something for me?! Okay, well go on, you’re scaring me a little but oh my god. You also know you didn’t have to right? Like I mean like, a simple hug and ‘I love you and will attempt to kick Roman’s ass if her makes you ever frown’ would have been enough?” 

“Absolutely. I mean you basically are Bubbles let’s be honest here. You’re probably a little bit smarter than her but you definitely bring the pep to the party. I’ve never been to a party that couldn’t use a little bit more you.” He instantly became offended at that, “I was going to put a little crown next to your name but I decided it was for the best that I stay away from stroking your ego too much. And no you can’t see -- You already stalk me on all social media, the last thing I need is you in my messages.” He smiled, a telltale sign that he was joking. But he didn’t even have to explain that at this point. He shook his head softly, thinking about what she was saying, “Hey, listen! The Tampa Bay Lightning made it to the second round. Sure I’m more of a Panthers fan, but they had their chance in the spotlight. We could absolutely road trip to a game. They’re playing the New York Islanders so we can get trashed at the bar and yelled in New York accents at anybody in orange, it’ll be a lot of fun.” He let himself slide off on a high note for that sentence before he responded. He knew in his head that this was a dangerous zone/ He was on the fence between being a young adult and a true adult. Hell, one day he’ll be getting engaged to some fool of a girl and he’ll be married too. Things can’t stay the same forever, “But as long as I have you as a friend I know it’ll all be good. There’s so much I have left to do in life and there’s no safe place between married and single, but I think if anybody can do it, that’s us. We’re the dream team.” He made a little gesture with his free hand, flipping it around to show he was going to give her this, “Okay, sure I probably needed to hear that from you, though. But! Don’t worry. This is something we wanted to do. Well it was my idea, but she went along with it an honestly it was better than the old plan. I was going to get you guys those pillows that say “Mr. Right” and “Mrs. Always Right” and although I think that would be absolutely perfect for you this might be a little bit better.” He pulled a book out of the plaid fabric. It wasn’t huge like the usual scrapbook and oh yeah, it’s just that -- a scrap book. It had a picture of Artemis and Roman looking less than photogenic on the cover in a poorly cut out pink heart. It was titled “Scrapbooks 4 Dayz” and had different colored papers, patterns, and the edges of Target printed 5x7s. He held it out to her with his eyebrows raised and the slightest bit of teeth showing beyond his lips in not giddy grin.

[archer-barnes-blog]

artemispng:

While she loved the attention, the laughter and the people, she needed some time for herself, well more time for her and her best friend. She easily spotted him, dragging him way from everyone else and walked him towards the kitchen as she hasn’t seen him all day and she would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy his company. With her back against the kitchen island, she propped her arms on it, applying enough force to push her up so she was sitting on it, swinging her legs smiling widely at her friend. “I can’t take any credit for this, I’ll be honest. Do I feel engaged yet?” she repeated his question with a laugh. “Hm, well, I think I do. I don’t know, it all feels surreal, like he proposed to me. ME!” she said, still hardly believing any of this was real, even if the ring on her finger was enough proof. Raising her brows, she bit her lip and nodded. “Well, go on then, show me!” 

He smiled. He had never seen her this happy before. No, of course, when she dragged him to go clothes shopping and he would spend 30 minutes looking at the sunglasses while she tried on shoes then he would see her happy. And obviously Roman made her happy. He rarely saw her happier than when she was with him. But right now in this moment she seemed just so much brighter than he’d expected. “You’re so bubbly. I mean, you’re always bubbly. You’re like the bubbliest person I know. In a good way. Like, you’re actually Bubbles in my phone. But you have the little red dressed salsa dancer next to your name so I don’t know if that defeats the --” He cut himself off, “Anyways ...” He smiled a bit nervously. This had been something that had been a long time coming. The engagement that is. So Arch had a few thoughts about it as he reached for whatever was inside flannel, “So I know that this isn’t the end, right? You still have a wedding and a honeymoon. And I mean, you guys won’t be leaving the area so I’ll still see you ... But this is a new chapter. Things won’t be the same from here on out. Astrid and I were talking about you the other day cause you know we’re you’re number one fans and we kinda made a little something for you. As a surprise, you know?” He hesitated for just a second, palms a bit sweaty in anticipation.

[archer-barnes-blog]

After a lot of work getting away from somebody else at the party. He wasn’t really sure who they were but they seemed to very interested in cropping their instagram pictures and he was honestly not the person to go to for that. He shuffled away and followed Artemis who slipped away into the kitchen. He quickly followed her in and shut the door behind him with a goofy smile on his face. “Hey! Some party out there. Do you feel engaged yet?” He said with a smile, hoping to get her attention away form whatever made her leave the main event area. He held his hand inside his open flannel awkwardly “So I have something to, uh ... show you.”

@artemispng

[archer-barnes-blog]

amorettebasterwood:

Looking back at him, Amorette watched with curiosity as she watched his mind tick, resulting in her body being shifted and Amorette let out a small gasp at the sudden movement, smiling down at him flirtatiously as she wrapped her arm around the back of his chair. “Look at you, cute nerdy weapon.” She named him, giggling softly.

He rolled his eyes, slightly flushed from it, but a little more than used to strange encounters at this point in his life. He took over the comptuer and started typing away in a little batch file off to the side, “How about this ... I write a little program so every time he gets a picture from somebody, it scrambles all the pixels.” He raised an eyebrow, “No more nudes for this kid.”

[archer-barnes-blog]

I realize I haven’t been on in a while cause of school, but it all ends tomorrow, so if I missed a reply to something of yours from a while back can you like this post or send me a message?? Cool cool thanks so much.

[archer-barnes-blog]

The Hangover

[carrws]

she glanced in his direction, unsure whether to roll her eyes, help or simply walk away. it seemed the former was the most appropriate, considering she didn’t have the energy to do any of the others at that moment. “right, that’s mine.” she pointed lazily to the shirt he wore. how it got on him she didn’t know, but it seemed as if she didn’t know much regarding the night before - particularly the events that led to their location. searching for her own phone, she found it tucked in its usual place - her bra - and pulled it out, only to find numerous missed calls from throughout the night. thank god for the weather app, showing their location in big white letters. orlando. “well toto, i’ve a feeling we’re not in kansas anymore,” she spoke with a sigh, flashing the information in his direction. this was definitely new.

[archer-barnes-blog]

He looked at the shirt, only slightly emasculated by it, when in fact it didn’t matter that much at all. He shrugged the shirt off fairly quickly before attempting to stand up. After a rough start getting his head to catch up with his body he stood all the way up and stretched a little bit. He squinted at the phone, “Well, fuck.” He chuckled, “We’re quite a ways from home, then. How the hell ...” He trailed off, “Oh.” He handed her the shirt back, “You wouldn’t happen to remember anything would you?” He bit his lip, trying to recall anything at all from the night before.

[archer-barnes-blog]

The Hangover

[archer-barnes-blog]

fkinez:

“do you mind with the fucking volume?” she seethed. after waking, she’d immediately sat upright, hand to her forehead and eyes to the ground. she hadn’t even noticed the person nearby until he had spoken, and although she jumped in the slightest at the sound, it wasn’t unexpected that she had company. in fact, it was normal. what wasn’t normal was their location, which was recognized as soon as her eyes glanced away from the blue-coloured floor. were they in a pool? this would be a story to tell the grandchildren one day. “if you have any idea where we are i’d really appreciate it if you shared,” she spoke, her voice harsh and frustrated, before adding, “quietly.”

He squinted at her in confusion for a second, not thinking his voice had been all that loud. He put his head in his hands briefly, hoping the stinging sensation would wear off and his sensitive stomach would find peace for just a second. After not too long he agreed that figuring out where they were was probably the best plan of action. He reached into his pocket for his phone but was met by nothinginess. With some confusion he reached into his other pocket, but there was nothing there either. He rolled up suddenly and patted down his back pockets as well. “I --” He looked around briefly, “I don’t know where my phone is. Or my wallet ...” He paused, dropping his voice suddenly, “Or anything, really. I actually don’t even know where this shirt came from. It’s not mine ...”

[archer-barnes-blog]

The Hangover

Archer’s eyes blinked open, the harshness of the light all around him made his head spin and he promptly shut the once more. His faculties began to full kick in right after that and he instantly felt nauseous. He groaned out loud, rubbing his eyes with his heavy hands in an attempt to get his body to wake up. Finally, he managed to get his eyes open despite a blaring headache. He sat up and looked around, but this was not his room. He was sitting at the bottom of a totally emptied swimming pool, in a place he had never been before. “What the fuck?” He asked out loud, turning his head to look at his surroundings. That was when he noticed a girl laying not too far from him, “I -- hello?” He asked meekly.

@fkinez

[archer-barnes-blog]

I applied for a semi-hiatus through next Monday cause I’m seeing Brendon Urie Friday and then hanging out in one of the Great Lakes this weekend. I’ll still be replying just at weird hours and slowly, but don’t be afraid to keep plots/start plots with me! thanks guysss

[theongryjoyy]

Alan Walker // Faded

[archer-barnes-blog]

amorettebasterwood:

Amorette’s fingers danced across the keyboard, intruding herself into this man’s life and finding every message he’s ever sent to anyone, and the girl quickly swayed on Archer’s lap, grabbing a piece of paper and starting to note down. “Don’t undermine yourself, look at how much power you have! If I could do this stuff..there would be a lot less rich bastards in the world.” She maliciously smiled. She pursed her lips, nodding back and forth in consideration. “I’m a stripper.” She said, turning her shoulder to look at the male. “I’m an escort as well, and I had this client..and he wasn’t very nice to me. So now, thanks to you, I’m not going to be very nice to him.” 

He shrugged. Maybe he got into what he was into for the money. Sometimes he thinks it’s really because he’s a huge nerd. The idea has crossed his mind once or twice that he could always take some people down a peg or do, but his moral compass didn’t exactly feel the best about getting into that. “I like to think if somebody deserves it then why not take them down. Level the playing field, yes?” He frowned. He was raised by a mom who taught him from a very young age that the world was made for boys and her words bounced in his head, “Wait, hold on, I have an idea.” He pushed her to one of his knees and reached for the mouse.

[archer-barnes-blog]

kaidenhq:

Kaiden took a shaky breath, eyelids fluttering closed as they tried to calm themselves. “I’m pretty sure I want it to be my first single” They informed the boy, nodding their head as they stood up. “I’m making coffee, would you like you’re own mug this time” They thought over the time, shaking their head. “No, I can say I fell asleep without sending it over, I can get away with midnight!”

“I mean, you called the right guy. You know I can get you through this one. Sorry if you get a little shit from your producer but this stuff is important, you know.” He smiled, “Plus, maybe I want to hear this single. After all I hear good things about your stuff.” He sighed, scouring through the non-damaged files to get to where his personal files were stored, “This must be so exciting for you.”

[tyjosephs]

[archer-barnes-blog]

artemispng:

Letting out a scoff, her eyes widened and her jaw was wide open as he attempted to sound like her. Exhaling, she wiggled in her seat trying to get comfortable before starting right at Archer. “I’ll have you know I do NOT sound like that. Your accent is completely off, thank you very much. That, and you went a crap ton of octaves too high, I am not that high pitched.” She squealed in defence but couldn’t help but laugh. Popping the two pills in her mouth, she washed it down with the coffee, cringing slightly at the bitter taste in her mouth but continue to drink nevertheless. Turning around in the seat she was seated in, she smiled at Archer, grateful to have him around. While she had many friends, she saw him as one of her closest, always being there for her and she was more than just grateful for him. “As if I ever hold anything you say drunk against you. I just remind you of what you say and laugh,” she laughed, wiggling her brows. “I said I think it’s a beach party - I’m not quite sure, I didn’t pay too much attention when I was told about it. Do you really think you have a choice in whether or not you’re going, mate? Do you know who I am? Because if you did have a hot date tomorrow, I would have been the first to know. I check your Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook and everything like everyday, please what are friends for? But here, since you’re being so darn defensive, do you have a really hot date tomorrow?”

He made a silly face at her, his eyes widening as he mocked her by mouthing the words a few seconds after her. However, he just couldn’t keep it up as he broke into a fit of broken little laughs following her sentence through to the end, “Okay, fine.” He threw his hands up, “You got me. I’m no expert on the aussie accent. Sue me. Call the Equality Commission.” His face always hurt a little bit around her. He smiled so easily. Probably because most of his friends were online or long distance in some way so his smiles were short lived, but with Artemis, her antics and mile an hour thought process kept him smiling for hours. “Drunk me is great. You know you love my card tricks and I can promise you the only time I’ll ever do them is after a couple shots of tequila.” He leaned back into the couch further, linking his hands together behind his head. “Mate.” He scoffed, “Listen, I know I’m going. I’m just fighting you at this point because I think it’s funny when you get all riled up about something. And you’re stalking me now? I think I post one or two snapchats a day and they’re definitely of Whiskers cause he’s cute as hell.” He then shut his mouth for a second, his face getting ever so slightly red, “Okay, well, maybe I don’t have a hot date, but it’s not for lack of trying. I totally gel my hair like every day then refuse to talk to any girls I see so like -- it’s not totally my fault, man.” He rolled his eyes, to hide his utter embarrassment at the fact that he’s inept in romantic encounters.

[archer-barnes-blog]

Finals are hitting me up super hype on me right now so sorry for shitty replies. I have a month between when I end school and when I start work so I can be hella then

[archer-barnes-blog]

not sure if we’re supposed to post starters for the party but Imma take a shower then when i get back I’ll see what’s happening