archie

i have this thing for exo… and i write, sometimes. Navigation

[archernarbeta]

Do better

✴︎ pairing : Kyungsoo x Reader

✴︎ genre : angst, stubborn characters, yearning, sensitive-themes, idol!kyungsoo , more angst, kyungsoo is a jerk here but reader is also stubborn

✴︎ summary : In which Do Kyungsoo is reader’s best friend and he wants her to do better. 

✴︎ warning : TW disordered eating (starving habits, relapse), trauma, mild cursing.

This fanfic contains themes of disordered-eating, some taken from my own experience. However if there are any misinformations that you would like me to take down, please do let me know and I will be happy to. Lastly, in no way whatsoever I am promoting disordered-eating habits. We are beautiful, in our own ways, inside and out. Therefore, there is no need for us to change our appearances for others.

✴︎ word count : 4.1K

✴︎ author’s note : This was so fun to write honestly! I spent all my pent-up anger writing this fic… I might do a part two because clearly, this fic is unfinished (let me know if we want a part two) Anyways, enjoy! As usual any form of appreciation is very well appreciated! 

—

It’s been exactly 8 weeks since you stopped speaking with THE Do Kyungsoo. 

Yes, you meant Do Kyungsoo the idol, the talented chef, the amazing singer and also THE best friend, not to mention THE imbecile. 

Silent treatments, were a common occurrence especially with the stubbornness you both shared when it comes to giving in for the greater good. However this was the longest period of silence that you both had gone through and frankly for you, there’s no room for truce. 

The reason behind it couldn’t be more trivial. 

Three weekends before, you had gone on a blind-date with a mutual friend, both of you were set-up by one of your colleagues. The date went smoothly, he was a polite gentleman who offered to pick you up and took you home. Before the date, he asked about your food preference too, in which you appreciated the gesture. Overall, he’s an all rounder and you’re totally sure you’d like another date with him, even if both of you weren’t looking for anything serious. It was just nice to have someone to spend your weekend with. 

You were astounded to say the least, that the  very nice gentleman sent you a set of fine bone china mugs with penguins on them, your favourite animal, duh. He also sent a letter, mentioning your love for coffee and penguins and how he’d thought of you when he came across the mugs a while ago. He wished that you would use the set to enjoy your morning coffee every morning.

—

On a given Sunday, Kyungsoo was supposed to come over to your place for a playdate since you haven’t seen each other in forever. He arrived with groceries and snacks for a pasta cook-out, he always mentioned that you were always too thin and too cold for his liking–that’s why he’s always so keen to feed you delicious and nutritious meals, even though you really didn’t like eating in general. 

You both settled on the dining table with each a cup of tea in hand and a plate of cookies that he’d baked beforehand, they were oatmeal and vanilla almond- with the least amount of sugar, suited to your liking.

After a much needed catch-up session and a plate with nothing left more than cookie crumbs, you helped him prep the ingredients for his anchovy pasta. In which, you chose to casually slip the bomb of ‘I’ve met a nice guy, we had a couple of dates, he was such a gentleman, he even gave me these super cute mugs.’ 

At your narrative, Kyungsoo replied with soft hums and nods before replying, “You know y/n— I really think he might be taking advantage of you.” He nonchalantly said while stirring the fettuccine, calmly raising the pasta strands with a fork to check how they’d cook through.

“W-what? Where did that come from?” 

“Why else would he be showering you gifts like these?” He waved around the penguin mug in front of your face in an irritating manner. 

You gasp at his groundless accusation, “Soo! He’s clearly just being a nice- decent human being! How could you accuse him of such things?!” 

You were literally in disbelief. Your best friend was usually the logical one in the friendship and having him belittle a guy like this, left you perplexed. He had no reasons whatsoever to insult a stranger, more so-your date. 

The timer rang before he had a chance to reply. In his relaxed composure, he turned off the stove and strained the pasta, moving them to the pan next to it. He continued cooking for a while, mixing the fettuccine with the pan-seared anchovies and tomato. If you haven’t been friends with him for all these years, you would probably be left speechless at how he just left you mid-conversation to tend to his cooking- but here you are, still amazed at how engrossed the man is in finishing his dish before anything else. He added the last touch of basil before facing his back to the kitchen counter as he faced you with a judging look, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“Y/n… You really are gullible sometimes, huh? He gave you a set of mugs and now you’re so swooned that you’re defending him? Over me- your best friend?” He half mocked you and rolled his eyes, giving off a much less of a smirk.

“W- what?! I am not! I can’t believe you right now? Can you hear yourself and how ridiculous you’re being right now?”

“Me? Ridiculous? What’s so ridiculous about protecting a best friend from strangers she just met!?” He exclaimed, shoulders shrugging showing his indifference. 

“He- he’s not a stranger! I told you! Why can’t you be happy that I had a good date?” You sassed back.

“I’m a man and I can see right through him! He’s just a jerk wanting a hookup from you!” He raised his voice.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” You barked at his accusations.

“I got a nice date once and suddenly I’m gullible?” Anger seeping through your every word. You weren’t thinking clear anymore, all you see was red, you can feel the rage rising in the back of your head,

“You know what Soo? I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry that you’re jealous- and so fucking sorry for you because your glamorous idol life left you love deprived!”

The damage was done. You’ve said it and now you only wished you could take it back. You stopped yourself as you covered your foul mouth with regret. Your eyes were shaking as you looked at him with remorse.

He stared back at you, eyes unmoving. He was sometimes unreadable like this. It was in his character really, the unpredictability and the stealth gaze, often left you wondering what’s going on inside his head. He clicked his tongue once, enough to startle you and diverted your whole attention to him. He hummed, another habit of his. You mentally braced yourself for the storm coming. 

“Love deprived?” he darkly chuckled, your penguin mug on the counter, under his hold.

“That’s the lowest you could do?” His smirk wiped away from his face as he gave a flat expression while pushing the mug away from the counter with force.

The scene flashed before your eyes, the penguin-faced mug hitting the floor, the clashing sound of china in contact with the marble floor rang through your ears. You gasp in shock as the mug shattered in pieces and there was nothing you could do but stare at the once cute cup.

You had your mouth hanging open- speechless, unaware that you were shaking. The crime scene unveiling in front of you left you appalled and you wondered if this person is the best friend you’ve always known your whole life. 

“Shame. You could’ve done better Y/n,” he pauses, “Maybe you’ll realise that you have better options than Mr. Penguin Mugs.”

Your body kept shuddering as you tried to gain composure,

“Get out.” You trembled.

“Two can play a game, Y/n” His voice taunting yet his face stoic, staring at you.

“Out!” you screamed at him 

So much emotions were whirring inside of you that your eyes water. Anger? Yes, a lot of rage was brewing in you but disappointment and sadness was an understatement.

“WHO the hell are you and what have you done to Kyungsoo!” Your sudden voice must’ve taken him by surprise as his eyes were back to normal, you walked up to him hitting his chest with little to no energy,

“I don’t want a fucking asshole as a friend! You’re not welcome here!”

If you were angry seconds ago, now you feel like crying.

“Leave!” as you pointed at the door, gesturing him to leave.

Kyungsoo bent down to pick up remnants of the penguins face, slowly placing them on the counter, like it could change a thing.

His next action took you by surprise as he scooped the rest of the broken china with bare hands to throw the shards to the nearest bin, hurting himself in the process. You found that a bit later though, when a drop of blood stain was evident on the lid of your trash can. 

He exhaled a breath, “Eat. Do not skip meals. Don’t be stupid. Call me when you stop being foolish.” 

You wordlessly trembled, standing with no more energy in your figure as he exited your apartment.

—

Ever since the messy encounter with him 8 weeks ago, a lot had changed. 

You stopped contacting Mr. Penguin Mugs a week after your fight with Kyungsoo, you just didn’t have the heart to deal with the lovely man and it broke your heart (a little) that you threw away the chance to be with a nice guy. But a certain someone did fill your thoughts during that time, a certain imbecile with heart-shaped lips that you would really like to hate.

Again, you had your fair shares of silent wars with him but this one hurts the most, or at least your pride did. You could recall his last memo of him, asking you to not skip meals but you decided that Do Kyungsoo was not the boss of you. You didn’t care, you weren’t gonna listen to him.

The fight did trigger you and even though it was childish of you to purposely skip meals, you began to refrain from eating at all. In the back of your head, you knew better than this, you were better than this, however without Kyungsoo by your side to aid you, you faltered. 

In the past years, you had a history with disordered eating. Coming from an almond-mum and a Korean all girls school, appearance was something vital to maintain, yet it resulted in you finding ridiculously dangerous ways to abstain yourself from eating.

It was a rough patch but all those years, Soo was there for you. He’d do the cooking, the persuading and the gentle praising, making sure he won’t overwhelm you. Kyungsoo might seem reserved and unreadable at times but he was full of care, too much even- to the point that you felt like a walking ‘handle-with-care’ sticker.

After you recover, you’ve managed to fix your relationship with food a bit better but there are times where the wounds would open up. You haven’t relapsed in a long time now, having to attend coaching sessions for healthy intuitive eating programs and having Soo on the sidelines to support you. 

Nevertheless, your relapse now was justified that at this point you were blinded by hurt. You were in pain and no one was there to aid you this time. 

It doesn’t take a genius to figure that the constant meal skipping would lead to fatigue, weight loss and eventually malnutrition, which is exactly what you’re suffering right now. The worse thing than losing your best friend is this, but hey you’re experiencing both of them at the same time! In your defense, you did try to get better, drinking spinach juice to try to fill the anguish hunger in your stomach, just to throw it all up again.

Honestly back then, when you experienced disordered eating, spinach juice was your holy grail that kept you full for longer hours without having to physically chew anything. Yet as your metabolism went to shambles, your body wouldn’t cooperate with any of the food you intake. 

—

Kyungsoo wasn’t doing any better. 

Seconds after he looked at your startled face and stepped foot out of your apartment, he wished time travel existed. He admits that he was an asshole but he didn’t mean to get things that far and he’d say those things to protect you even though he failed to project them in a nicer-manner (which was totally why he’s at fault, he knows this too-by the way). He wanted to apologise the next day-though he thought that giving you space would be a better option as he was scared to hurt you further. What he didn’t expect was the silence that went on for weeks. 

Kyungsoo busied himself, he had his filming schedules packed as tight as possible and he picked up projects like they were cherries on trees. Even the members were astonished when he brought up his contract to join a variety show, which was so unexpected of him.  All the time not talking to you left him confused, if he was really trying to protect you or if he was jealous of you, or your date. He tried brushing it off, but you were always on the back of his mind. He’d try figuring out how he feels about you but that would spiral in a worse direction, he didn’t have the heart to admit that he misses you, his best friend. 

—

On the sixth-week mark of your cold war, you were admitted to the hospital for severe malnutrition and extreme weight loss. Chanyeol was the one who hospitalised you.

Chanyeol—who became friends with you because of Kyungsoo–had visited you a couple times after the fight to check up on you. You wanted to turn your back on him and his hospitality but the friendly man with cute giant ears was so hard to refuse. 

Initially, Chanyeol’s visit were out of concerns due to the fight you had with Kyungsoo, but the visits became frequent when he noticed you became leaner by the day, your moves were slower and it was visible that performing simple task were difficult for you.

He tried his best to discreetly offer professional help, even though he wasn’t aware of your disordered eating history, he simply wanted to help without offending you, in which you declined politely, saying you were fine. 

That day, even with arduous attempts to conceal your weakness, your body soon gave up after opening the door for Chanyeol. Given your conditions, you had no room to refuse anymore as Chanyeol carried you to the hospital. The only thing you managed to muster before blacking out was, 

“Don’t tell Kyungsoo.”

On the week you were hospitalised, Kyungsoo was busy filming somewhere in a rural area in Japan. It was a fresh experience, a breath of fresh air for his career yet all he could think of was you. 

The eight-week mark had passed and after two weeks of being hospitalised, it was a shame that you didn’t show signs of improvement regardless of the constant IV that kept you at bay. That’s the thing with relapsing, you know this, nothing will work unless you want to get better—and you haven’t found a reason to do so.

But it was a little bit bearable when Chanyeol came in to visit, sometimes bringing other members with him to cheer you up and give you extra encouragement. You particularly love when he brings Minseok along, the older was the most well-mannered of the bunch and he just feels like an older brother. 

— 

The sliding door of your hospital ward suddenly slammed open, you instinctively diverted your attention to the door, finding a familiar figure walking in with eyes ready to shoot lasers at you. 

“W-what the fuck?” you eyed him. “Why the hell are you here? What are you doing here?”  

You were surprised at your energy to snap at the man whilst you half-sat on a hospital bed with an IV attached on your hand. And here I thought I was weak.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Why the fuck are you here?” he retorted, “I heard you’re sick but I’m surprised that your stupidity still tags along after 2 months.” he scorned, his bluntness never goes away huh?

“W-what? What did you say to me?”

“Even though we’re fighting and you’re mad you could’ve hit me instead. Yell, scream, curse at me- I couldn’t care less if you did,” he paused, “but why would you starve yourself again?”

By the tone of his voice, although you could pick up his anger- his disappointment, you really didn’t want to put down your ego. 

“I’m not here because of you, idiot. Now what are you doing here? Go away” You countered him. 

“Are you blind? As you can see I’m visiting a friend. A very sick and a stubborn one at that.” he managed to scoff at your act. You rolled your eyes, not even baffled at this point.

“No one told you to. Now, leave.” you pointed at the door.

“A little tall birdie did, he begged me to come.” he stills on the ends of the hospital bed

“Well, thanks for coming but you are really uninvited here. Please follow the door to exit.” you gave him a sarcastic smile.

“And if I won’t comply? What are you gonna do?” he taunts back. “Would you tell Chanyeol or Sehun to take me away? And why do you think they’ll comply with your request? They’re scared of me more than of Junmyeon-Hyung,” he looked around the room before focusing his eye-contact back to you.

“The only thing you could do to kick me out in your sickly state is call the nurse… that’s if, you’re willing to bear the consequence of reporting an idol?” he rambled. 

“Oh you little shit..”

“Don’t you little shit me,” he mocked back,

“You know, Chanyeol might’ve given away your conditions but he’s certainly not the one watching MY reality show for the past weeks.”

You mentally cursed.

He gave out a laugh, before continuing in a stern tone,“The only person logged in my SBS account is you. Did you miss me so badly that you liked all those clips using my account?”

“Do better, y/n.” he finished, before abruptly leaving the room. 

You were left astounded, just like the moment he exited your apartment 8 weeks ago. But this time, not long after, he came back bringing what looked like a lunchbox. He quietly sat down on the chair next to your bed while opening one of the containers, you only could stare at him in confusion. 

Do Kyungsoo was indeed unpredictable.

“Do better, eat better, y/n. So you can fight me again.” He spoke up before offering a spoonful of porridge to your mouth. You gazed at the spoon in front of you before shifting back at him. You silently refused. 

“Open up,” he said softly and you did. There was something about his voice that made you comply with his requests, like it was laced with care and concern. 

You opened your mouth and carefully swallowed his cooking. The taste wasn’t foreign to you, it was his pumpkin and sweet potato porridge. He made it for you every time you’re upset, making the dish your ultimate comfort food. After the first spoonful, you were bracing yourself for a reflux but it never came, you were able to stomach his food just fine. 

“Good girl” he praised you before handing another scoop to your mouth, asking you to have more. 

As you ate quietly, he spoke, 

“You need to do better than this y/n. You need energy to curse at me- hit me…and that’s why you need to eat to recover,” his forehead creased as he expressed his thoughts yet it didn’t stop him from feeding you every spoon. 

“It’s- It’s so frustrating you know? Looking at you like this… I-I almost lost it when Chanyeol called saying you’ve been admitted for two weeks! I was in Japan and I never wanted to pack my bags so quickly..”

“Y-you..You’re so frustrating-“ he let out a breath he unconsciously held. You could see his eyes weren’t as calm, like he had other complaints he’d like to express but he held back. With the last spoonful, he closed the container and discarding it back to the lunchbox. 

He softly muttered, “Rest well, I’ll be back tomorrow,” he gave a quick peck on the crown of your head, an action that surprised you, before leaving the ward. 

He did come back the next day and the day after that, and another day after that. He made sure that he was the first sight you see in the morning. 

This time, he brought chicken soup. Sadly, the smell didn’t react well with your body as you instantly gagged. He immediately rushed you to the bathroom, pulling your IV off in one smooth motion in the process, leaving you unscathed even with the sudden movement .

You managed to hold it in until you reached the toilet bowl. As you threw up, you helplessly cried, Kyungsoo kept still and supported your figure by the elbows. He softly grasped your hair away from you while you hurled the contents of your stomach. The action left you breathless, exhausted as tears stained your face while you slid down the bathroom floor, you really didn’t have any energy left.

You pity yourself for your relapse, it felt- disgraceful of you to do so. You hid your face with your hands as you sobbed. Fucking disgusting, you told yourself. 

Kyungsoo was distressed seeing you like this, especially the fact that he might have some contributions to your relapse, it was even more upsetting for him. He didn’t hug you, he was too much of a coward for that. So he did what he could. Kyungsoo grabbed some napkins and a glass of water outside and came back into the bathroom. He kneeled down to gently tap the hands covering your face, signalling that he’d like to see your face. You slightly look up to see a calm attentive face, care- radiating from his eyes. He wiped your tears and then your mouth, offered you a warm glass of water in which you accepted without repulse. 

Both of you stayed quiet for a while before muttering, “Let’s go back to bed.”

He helped you stand up, tucked you back in the hospital bed and called the nurse to reattach the IV he skilfully dismantled. The nurse went berserk on him when she learned of the incident. The situation was truly unpredictable but his actions could’ve seriously injured you. He mumbled his apologies as he nodded in regret while listening to the nurse’s scoldings. Not long after, she left both of you to your own devices. 

“Don’t say anything, please?” you quietly begged while looking at him. 

Today felt like your turn to burst. He nods without hesitation, firmly holding eye contact with you.

“I’m tired Soo…” you audibly exhaled, tears welled on your already puffed eyes.

You took your time to look at the light blue colour of the hospital blanket, then shifted your eyes to the ceiling of the ward while trying to find words to carry on the conversation. 

“I am-“ you stuttered, “f-fuck. I’m fucking tired, you know?”

You just… didn’t have the energy as your tears flowed through your hollow cheeks, dropping to your chin and eventually wetting the blanket. His eyes never left you, catching each and every of your pained expressions. 

You had lost your spark, the burning passion and gleam behind your eyes were gone. Your being felt hollow, just a soulless body- empty, dull and glum.

He despised it, the dullness in your eyes. He hated it with all his heart, knowing his efforts were meaningless since he couldn’t stop you from getting worse. He loathes the fact that this time, he was helpless when the love of his life, his best friend, his light, is giving up in front of his eyes.

“Soo…” you whispered, reaching out for his hand with sorrowful eyes. He instantly held yours, warmth emitting from his hold as he looked at you with so much care. Even intertwining hands with you broke his heart at the coldness of your touch. 

“Do better, okay?” you let go of his hand from your hold.

The wet tracks of your tears hadn’t stopped yet you managed to prop up an expressionless gaze as you stared at him. You were in pain, so was he, and you didn’t want to hurt him more.

He knew what you meant, he knew what you wanted him to do. 

He knew exactly what to do, not that he wanted to. 

He was your lifeline, a drug to salvation- You needed to heal without him. 

He didn’t understand, he had so many questions formulating in his head but he knew better than to pry. He was hurt but prying meant hurting you further, which was the last thing he’d do.

He stood up, kissed your cheeks, stroked your hair and pecked the crown of your head one last time before heading out to the door. 

He slammed the sliding door hard, hopefully to let you know how wrong of you to ask him to leave. But he never looked back, because he was too much of a coward for that.

—

a/n: should we do a part 2 ??

[taemins-dolphin]

Hate That I Made You Love Me (With D.O. - Part 1)

genre: college!au, stupid kyungsoo x nerdy reader, light angst, zico & crush cameos summary: kyungsoo gets dared to 'date' the 'weird' girl in their astronomy course. 7.1k words

inspired by an old jungkook drabble by oilblotter that only lives in my memories now :')

“Fuck.” Jiho swears when he sees his graded exam with a bright red 47 on it.  

He passes you and glances back curiously. He rolls his eyes when he sees the green 93 on yours. 

“Fucking nerd.” He mutters lowly to himself. He sighs when he reunites with his friends at their seats. “What’d you guys get?” 

Hyoseob shows his 74 and Kyungsoo his 72.  

“You guys did so well. The fuck?” Jiho swears, stealing their papers to compare answers.  

“Not well enough. I can’t let my GPA sink any further than it already has.” Kyungsoo leans back, bored. He studied his ass off for this exam. A 72 wasn’t going to cut it. 

“You see her?” Jiho nudges his head in your direction. Kyungsoo follows his line of vision and sees you. You have your hair up in a messy bun, tortoise framed glasses and a Batman shirt that looked a bit too big for you.  

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo doesn’t steer away from looking at you. You were chewing on the end of your pen. A dinosaur pen.  

“She got a 93.” Jiho says with pure malice.  

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in surprise, but not really. You looked smart. Kyungsoo studies you a bit longer, watching you frown profusely at your paper. Surely you weren’t anxious about your grade. You were staring down your paper like it had personally offended you. He chuckles to himself. It’s somewhat admirable to see you stress over a 93. 

“I swear, people like her have it so easy. So painfully awkward and weird they don’t have a social life to distract them.” Jiho spews out unsolicited insults. Kyungsoo’s used to it at this point. His friend has never been the one to shut up, even when he has something awful to say. 

“She’s kinda cute.” His head tilts when you push your glasses up the bridge of your nose with the chewed up dino pen. There was a weird charm to you that prevented Kyungsoo from looking away. You type something on your laptop and reveal your Jurassic Park wallpaper. Kyungsoo chuckles to himself.  

“You think every girl is cute. But I promise you. There is no getting through to this one. I bet she won’t even notice you’re flirting with her if you tried.” Jiho says as if he was challenging his friend.  

“I don’t think you’re giving Kyungsoo enough credit.” Hyoseob chimes in. “If he can bag that shy library girl, I’m willing to bet a hundred he can hook up with miss dino over there.” 

Kyungsoo can’t help but chuckle at his friend. Hyoseob hadn’t returned a book in time and instead of paying the fee, he sent Kyungsoo to return the book for him, knowing how charming his friend could be. Kyungsoo didn’t mind. Mina was pretty and he liked pretty girls. 

“Alright, a hundred if he manages to do it before the semester ends. What do you say Kyungsoo?” Jiho’s criminally obnoxious smirk appears on his face.  

“What am I getting exactly?”  

“Our two hundred bucks if you can pull it off.” 

“Alright.” Kyungsoo shrugs.  

Easy money. 

-------- 

Class ends and Kyungsoo quickly gets up from his seat to catch up with you, papers and pen still in hand. He watches as you hide your highlighters and pens into your Jurassic World pencil case. A smile creeps up on his face unknowingly. Cute. 

He finally reaches you, backpack slung over his shoulder. You don’t notice him right away, grabbing your own backpack filled with superhero enamel pins. Both Marvel and DC. You didn’t discriminate. Kyungsoo has to clear his throat to get your attention. 

Your face lifts at the sound. Your eyes widen in surprise and confusion. Apprehensive, you check around you to make sure he was looking at you. 

“Hi!” Kyungsoo greets you first. “I loved Battinson.” 

He points at your shirt and you follow his finger, darting your eyes down at your chest. It makes you pull your backpack closer to you nervously. You’re cute and squirmy. Like a baby deer. You had the eyes for it too. 

“Ok?” You say back in a confused tone. You’re so wary, so cautious. Kyungsoo catches your eyes shift to the papers in his hand. And it’s as if something clicks in you that you’ve found the confidence to assert yourself. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t tutor.” You apologize as soon as you see his grade and continue to pack your bag once you’ve come to the conclusion that he was here to ask you for academic help. 

“What? No. I’m Kyungsoo.” He introduces himself with his most genuine smile. It’s as if there is no bet in place and he is purely interested in being your friend. 

It’s not as convincing as Kyungsoo thought. 

“Yeah, I know.” You get up and try to move around him.  

Kyungsoo’s taken aback. 

“Sorry?” He steps aside to stop you. Why were you being so difficult?  

He can’t hear them but he knows Jiho and Hyoseob are giggling behind him. 

“Nevermind. I can’t help you with whatever you need.” You say, avoiding eye contact with him – the false confidence evidently gone. He can see you a lot closer now. Your bun was being held by a batman hair tie, flyaways all around your head. Your skin was close to perfect. Your lips were a bit chapped, and he could tell you pick at them. You were rough around the edges but overall pretty. Kyungsoo likes pretty. 

“Wait, I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. I just thought you were pretty. And I was hoping we could be friends.” He apologizes, lowering his face to get you to look at him. He watches you hesitate, sucking in a cheek. He does his best to put on a nervous looking smile to get you to pity him. 

You release a big exhale, accepting defeat. 

“I’m Y/N.” You introduce yourself, eyes still darting behind him towards the exit. 

“Hi Y/N. It’s a pleasure meeting you.” He extends an arm out for you. 

You suck in your bottom lip nervously. You push your glasses up and rearrange the book in your arm to shake his hand.  

You take the deepest breath.  

“Likewise.”  

Kyungsoo’s smile widens. 

-------- 

If Kyungsoo knows anything about nerds, they love being ahead of everyone. 

Kyungsoo arrives for ASTRO101 half an hour early for class. As predicted, he smirks when he sees you there, already waiting on the floor to be let in, laptop sitting cozily on your thighs. He slides beside you effortlessly.  

“Hi, Y/N.” Kyungsoo laughs when you jump in surprise. 

“Kyungsoo, you scared me.” You have your hand on your chest to ease your racing heart. He doesn’t mean to but he glances down anyways to find you’re wearing a very fitting superman graphic tee with a loose white dress shirt on top.  

You can’t be real.  

“Sorry, that wasn’t my intention. Love what you’re wearing by the way. Very Clark Kent of you.” Kyungsoo says, pointing up and down your body. This makes you blush and has you stuttering like a mess. So you do know when you’re being flirted with. 

“What do you need Kyungsoo?” You manage to ask, your focus not budging from your work, though Kyungsoo can tell you’re still nervous. He’ll take it you’re a bit interested. 

“You know when you said you already knew who I was. What’d you mean?” He asks and you didn’t think he would bring that up by the surprise look on your face. 

“You’ve been to my house before.” You inform him as if that’s supposed to help Kyungsoo figure it out. If anything, he’s a lot more confused now. You sigh, seeing his puzzled expression. 

“My brother is Park Chanyeol.” 

Oh. 

Kyungsoo’s $200 flashes before his eyes.  

Though, he’ll never hear the end of it from Hyoseob and Jiho. 

“Chanyeol. Giant, party thrower, team captain of the basketball team Chanyeol and does jiu-jitsu as a hobby?” Kyungsoo asks, a little dumbfounded, his jaw slack.  

You scoff. “That’s the one.”  

“Huh.” Kyungsoo checks you one last time and it suddenly clicks how similar you two look. Although you’re not carbon copies, you definitely have similar features. It doesn’t explain how he doesn’t remember you though. 

“So we’ve... met... through him?” Kyungsoo asks carefully as not to offend you. 

It’s too late. You’re already grunting in frustration. Annoyed with him, you shut your laptop and pack it in your bag so you could get away from him. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Kyungsoo’s a lot quicker than you are though, anticipating your moves before you even know it. He reaches for your wrist and feels how soft your skin is. He lets go like it burns him. “I keep offending you. I’m really sorry. High school was a long time ago.” 

“We met last year.” The frown on your face is so cute like a kid pretending to be mad at him, but he gets the idea that you’ll crack with a simple smile. 

“Yeah, that’s a long time ago, sweetheart.” He does just that, smiling charmingly into your good graces. You do break as he predicted. It’s cute to see your lips purse in annoyance. Your face was betraying you, wanting to smile too. 

“You... asked me where the washroom was.” You mumble shyly because although he can’t hear your thoughts, without a doubt, now that you’re saying it out loud, it sounds ridiculous that he’d remember that. Kyungso doesn’t laugh at you. Instead, he holds a hand to his chest.  

“Please forgive me for ever forgetting such a beautiful encounter and of course, such a beautiful woman. I promise I won’t ever make that mistake again.” 

Kyungsoo crosses his heart comically, grinning ear to ear when he sees you purse your lips to an eventual smile. 

“I guess it is silly...” 

“Do you think we can start over and be friends?” He looks at you expectantly.  

He knows he has you exactly where he wants you when you nod shyly. 

-------- 

It takes a bit of convincing - what doesn’t when it comes to you, but Kyungsoo gets you to study with him. But I’m not tutoring you. You write your own notes. You had told him with a not-so threatening pointed finger.  

Your guard was very much up. You weren’t making it easy to get to know but at least you let him study with you. 

Kyungsoo sneaks glances at you when he pretends to study. He doesn’t understand the material. Studying you was far more entertaining. He was going to get ai to summarize it for him anyways. 

“So, we went to the same high school.” Kyungsoo breaks the silence to which you hum in response. “Crazy we never met... Other than that one time.” 

“Did you finish reading the chapter?” You don’t lift your face to look at him. 

“No.” 

“Why’d you ask me to study if you’re just going to talk?” You frown at him, spinning your pen around your fingers.  

“Because I want to be your friend.” Kyungsoo says simply, not breaking contact with you when you try to avoid his stare. 

“Why?” You ask for the nth time. Was it that hard to believe he would approach you? Yes, he was doing this for a bet, but that didn’t mean he didn’t find you pretty and interesting. 

“You seem fun. You dress up as superheroes and like dinosaurs. What’s not to be curious there?” It’s easy for Kyungsoo to find a reason because he’s not lying. You had that weird charm to you. 

“I was like this in high school too.” 

“And I was like this too. You didn’t approach me then either.” Kyungsoo argues. “I wanna get to know you now. Let me.” 

“It’s just hard to believe that you want to get to know me. You’re just so... popular.” You cringe at the word popular and Kyungsoo does too. He never liked being called that. It sounded so forced and awkward. 

“I just like making friends. Your brother is the same, you know.” Kyungsoo lightly pokes your side with a pencil.  

“Yeah, I know.” You say, a bit annoyed. Not really. There’s a small hint of a smile at the corner of your lips that you try to hide with a big sigh.  

“What’d I say this time?” He teases you. “Is it your brother? Do we not like your brother?” 

You laugh a bit too loudly for the library, earning a few stares from the other students trying to study. “No, I like Chanyeol. He’s a nice brother.” 

“Then why the long face?”  Kyungsoo taps your chin with the same pencil to your annoyance. He likes to see you get annoyed with me. It’s a nice change of pace from Jiho who ragebaits him for a living. 

“Nothin’, still in disbelief that you want to be my friend too.” You shrug and return to your textbook. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything, choosing to stay quiet. He lets you study a bit longer before bothering you half an hour later to get pizza. 

Because that’s what friends do. 

-------- 

Sometime between classes, studying with you and walking you home, Kyungsoo finds out you’ve never driven stick. 

“You want a Miata? You have to learn how to drive manual.” Kyungsoo throws you the keys to his car. You almost fumble them. He laughs at you. 

“But I don’t get it. Yeol has a TSX. He didn’t want to teach you?” Kyungsoo lets you get comfortable in the front seat while he waits for you with the door open. His smile grows when you grin and rub your hands across the wheel of his SI.  

“No, he says I drive recklessly.” You look up at him with a small, devious smile.  

Kyungsoo’s breath stops. 

Maybe it’s the way you bite your lip anticipating his lesson or maybe it’s the way you’ve fully let your guard down that makes his stomach flip.  

Seeing you smile cutely like this. In his direction…  

Nevermind that. He has to shake the image out of his mind.  

He bends down and points at the pedals. “This is the clutch. Make sure to release it slowly when you’re shifting. Act like the pedals are eggs, okay? Don’t hurry it.” 

He makes the mistake of looking up to see if you’re listening. He’s met with your face filled of curiosity - brows brought together in complete concentration. He’s suddenly made aware of how close he is to you. How you’re wearing a well-fitted Spider-man tee and denim capris. How you smell like vanilla. How you surprisingly have a fresh pedicure.  

He clears his throat and stands up.  

“I’ll, uh, show you the gears.” 

He shuts the door and runs his hand through his hair. He exhales and hopes you aren’t looking at him as he walks to the other side.  

“Nervous Do Kyungsoo?” You push your glasses up with the cheekiest smile on. 

Kyungsoo scoffs at how cocky you pretend to be in the driver’s seat of his car. But he learns that you’re actually nervous by the way you tuck your hair behind your ears. 

“Relax, we’re just driving around the lot.” He chuckles as he sits down. He explains how to shift the gears and you nod along. Kyungsoo has to force himself to focus when you purse your lips and keep pushing those damn glasses up. Can’t you get them adjusted? 

“K, think I got it.” That’s the last warning you give before you start driving. 

Kyungsoo barely has his seatbelt on, panicking over nothing when he realizes you’re… not stalling? 

“The fuck?” Kyungsoo laughs at how ridiculously easily you catch on. It seems you’re as gifted driving as you are academically. You shift so seamlessly. “Let’s go on the main road.” 

“What?!” You try to look at him but he quickly pushes your cheek to focus on the parking lot. 

“Yeah, yeah! Let’s get some ice cream. You can do it.” He leans over and takes the wheel to gently turn the wheel in the direction of the main road.  

“You’re crazy.” You laugh nervously but Kyungsoo has full confidence in you. 

“I trust you. Come on, let’s go.” Kyungsoo says with the widest smile. 

“Stay in this lane.” Kyungsoo sees how tightly you’re gripping the stick, knuckles slowly turning paler. His first instinct is to place his hand on yours. He feels you soften under his touch. 

“Relax.” He reassures you, helping you shift the gears. “You’re doing really good. Are you sure you didn’t secretly take Yeol’s car for a joy ride?” 

He tries to make you laugh to break the tension in your body. You chuckle a bit solemnly to yourself.  

“No, but I did play a lot of racing games at the arcade.” You say, never once leaving your focus off the road. Only shifting your eyes to check your blind spots. 

“Oh, like on dates?”  

“Uh… Not exactly. I used to play there a lot on my own. When our parents would be gone on business trips and Chanyeol threw parties, I would go often.” You reveal a bit too casually.  

“With friends?” Kyungsoo regrets his question the second he sees you wince. 

“By myself.” 

He knew you weren’t from the coolest of crowds. He didn’t realize you didn’t have friends either. His gaze softens looking at you. 

He imagines you in the same Spider-man shirt but it’s a lot looser, your hair was probably in the same ponytail and you probably sported a lot nerdier glasses. He imagines a lonely you leaving your own home to find solace at the arcade. It pains his heart to imagine how lonely you must have been. 

“Please don’t look at me like that.” You must have caught a glimpse of the solemn look on his face.  

He can’t shake the image of a sweet and geeky you playing racing games on your own.  

“Like what?” 

“Like I’m some stray cat. I’m okay. And it’s not Chanyeol’s fault either. He’s just a lot different than I am. He tried to keep me home where he could watch me, but sometimes I just couldn’t… Not with those… people.” 

He squeezes your hand comfortingly. His heart warms up when he sees a smile seep onto your face. 

“I’m sorry you went through that. I wish I had known you then.” Kyungsoo’s face saddens once again. This time, out of guilt. It never occurred to him other people were going through a much different high school experience than he did. 

“Me too.” You say, creating a pregnant silence. 

“Turn here.” Kyungsoo points at the rundown ice cream shop, disturbing the moment. 

You park with ease. In reverse too.  

You’re just full of surprises for Kyungsoo.  

“It’s really okay, Kyungsoo. I know it’s sad I didn’t have any friends growing up but I did have Chanyeol when it did count. He took care of me the best way he could. I promise my life isn’t as sad as it sounds.” It’s your turn to reassure him because clearly, he was taking it a lot harder than you were.  

“You’re paying and driving back by the way.” Your tone is lighthearted again. Then you flash him a little smile. 

“Of course.” He follows right behind you, unable to hide the silly grin appearing on his face. 

-------- 

Kyungsoo finds himself texting you nonstop, arguing with you on whether or not Iron Man really was the only one who could’ve done the snap. He completely forgets that Jiho is next to him on the couch waiting for him to finish texting so they could proceed to play the next round. 

Jiho’s jaw tightens in annoyance when Kyungsoo has the audacity to chuckle to himself. He wants to wipe off that shit-eating grin off his face. 

“She cannot be that funny.” Jiho has a bored look on his face. 

Kyungsoo barely looks up from his phone, typing the rest of his text and pressing send. 

“Sorry.” He apologizes, picking up the controller as if Jiho didn’t just wait 15 minutes for him to be ready.  

Jiho doesn’t take the apology lightly.  

“This is like the third time she’s texting. What’s with her? It’s been a month. Why are you guys still hanging out? Are you having trouble sleeping with her?” 

“So many questions.” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at his friend who looks annoyed. Jiho was never one to be patient. Kyungsoo knows this. He grew up with Jiho. Yet, he has no clue why he’s being so rude right now. “She’s actually really sweet and funny. I want you guys to meet her.” 

Jiho stares at him, analyzing his friend who is so smitten by a seemingly ordinary girl with a weird obsession with dinosaurs. 

“What is this? Are you falling for her?” He narrows his eyes at him. “She’s a bet.” 

“She’s not a bet. I don’t care about the bet anymore. It was stupid.” Kyungsoo sighs and rolls his eyes. It stopped being a bet the second you let him in your life and became his actual friend. It was no longer a game when he found himself genuinely having fun hanging out with you. He looked forward to watching random youtube videos in a parking lot with you while you munched on fries. Sure, he’d have to convince you to drive his car, but he always paid for the snacks.  

He didn’t know when it happened. The tiny crush he had on you. He figures it was around the same time he started looking forward to the astronomy study sessions with you. Kyungsoo hates astronomy. 

Somehow and someway you had claimed a spot in his heart. 

“She doesn’t find it weird that you randomly came up to her one day?” Jiho asks, putting the controller down, finding this new turn of events interesting. He never pegged Kyungsoo the type to get with a geek. He was always around cheerleaders, prom queens, conventionally women. “What are you gonna do when she finds out?” 

“She’s not going to find out.” Kyungsoo frowns. “Why do you care so much?” 

“I care about my friend making the mistake of dating a geek like her. She’s a lost cause. Won’t even know you’re into her.” Jiho’s tone is a lot more vicious and spiteful than anything Kyungsoo has ever heard before.  

It does not sit well with Kyungsoo.  

“What the fuck is wrong with you? She’s a human being with actual feelings and interests. This isn’t high school anymore. Stop being so weird about this. The bet was stupid and juvenile and she’s never going to find out about it.”  

Sometime between the fit of rage, Kyungsoo had gotten up and is now looking down at Jiho with a pure look of disgust. Jiho stares up in disbelief that his friend would defend a girl like you this hard. It’s rare to get him speechless like this because Kyungsoo has never yelled at him. Never in their decade long friendship. 

Kyungsoo sighs, he could stay mad at him all day but he’s been friends with Jiho for as long as he can remember. He hates it when they fight. On the rare occasion that they do, Kyungsoo always forgives Jiho. 

“Look, I’m sorry I’ve been distracted but she really is a nice girl. I’ll bring her to the pub next Saturday night and you guys could meet her. Okay?” His voice softens for his longtime friend who’s doing his best to stand his ground.  

But Jiho breaks too, finding it hard to stay mad at Kyungsoo. He agrees to meet you reluctantly. 

Jiho was curious now. He wanted to see what magic you were pulling to get his best friend so smitten and protective over you. 

-------- 

The next day Kyungsoo finds himself studying for the midterm with you in your family’s dining room. Your parents weren’t home for yet another business trip and Chanyeol’s whereabouts were unknown to him. He was alone in a house with you. And for the first time, he was feeling nervous to be alone with a woman. 

“Do you need some water?” You ask, concerned. He must not be acting as calm as he thought he was. Or maybe you were just being a considerate host. 

“Yes, please.” Kyungsoo smiles when you get up to get him a glass. 

“Thank you.” He says as you place it down for him. It’s new to him. The racing of his heart. He’s here to study, yet he can’t even think to read his textbook, distracted by you and your crooked glasses on your head. 

“You’re very welcome.” You beam, taking a seat right next to him to continue studying. He watches you plug in your right earphone, letting the other hang loose on the table. You still use wired earphones cause you swear it sounds better when you do. Kyungsoo rests the side of his head on his knuckles, elbow on the table, and just, looks at you.  

Who was he joking? He was never going to get any work done with you. Not when you left an ear open for him in case he has any questions.  

Studying you was distracting. He swears he can study your little quirks all day. 

Like how you use your glasses as a headband when you really want to force yourself to read the material. Or the fact that you’re literally swimming in a broken and oversized Miles Morales shirt, revealing the frustrating fact that your bra strap keeps falling off your shoulder. 

“Kyungsoo, did you get this part?” You point at a page in the textbook. It’s really sweet of you to think that he would understand a concept far better than you do but he tries anyway. He pulls the book closer to him and reads the excerpt for the first time. He reads it over and over again, actually. His frown deepens and he wonders if you think he’s an idiot by how long it’s taking him to understand. 

It’s all gibberish to him. Why would you ask him if he understood -   

It takes a second to register what just happened. His head is still resting on his hand. Your eyes are wide and hands are covering your mouth in complete shock with yourself. 

“Sorry!! I- You just- Your lips were-” You stutter after giving him the world’s record quickest peck on the lips.  

“Did you want to try that again?” Kyungsoo asks, watching your throat swallow nervously. Then you nod. You lean closer with a little more confidence this time, flickering your eyes to his for confirmation. He nods, giving you the go-ahead.  

Your lips softly press onto his and he lets you move your mouth the way you’re comfortable with. He doesn’t rush it, wanting to feel your lips massage his for as long as he can. You surprisingly swipe your tongue against his bottom lip, making Kyungsoo moan slightly and finally drop his arm on the table. He uses the other to cup the nape of your neck, deepening the kiss.  

His body leans closer into yours, feeling your body against his. He can smell the vanilla on your skin, making him groan against your lips. It was driving him insane. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?” You ask breathily, lips tickling his as he chases after them. They were already tingling at the loss of you. 

Kyungsoo almost instantly caves when he looks at your now swollen lips and crooked glasses on your head. He’s never seen you in like this before: wanting him. And God, did he want you too. 

But he wants to do this right. You deserve to have this done right. 

“I want to.” Kyungsoo says a bit reluctantly. 

“But?” You sense his hesitation. It’s absolutely killing him the way you look disappointed and hurt.  

“But I want to take you out on a date first. A proper one.” He explains, hoping this makes that look disappear. 

“A date?” You frown like you’ve never heard that word before. 

“Yeah, a date.” Kyungsoo affirms. 

“I’ve never been on a date before.” You say, more to yourself, like you’re trying to convince yourself that this was happening. “With me?” 

“Yes, with you. Will you go on a date with me?” Kyungsoo laughs at your pure innocence. God, you’re so good, so nice, so everything to him. 

“Okay.” 

The stars don’t shine; they burn. Yet here you were, with your smile shining brightly at him. 

-------- 

The date starts off strong with Kyungsoo coming up to your door with a bouquet of yellow flowers wrapped in black paper.  

He’s about to knock on your door when you open it almost instantly. You look shocked like you weren’t expecting him. 

Kyungsoo’s jaw drops at the sight of you. 

You had a leather jacket on with a tank top and a midi skirt. Your hair was down with your hair pushed back by a headband. You had curled your ends. Your glasses were a metal frame instead of the tortoise ones he was used to.  

You were painfully and beautifully you. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I don’t think I got a text?” You check your phone, expression a bit worried. Kyungsoo has to place a hand on your shoulder to calm you down. 

“Relax. I was going to come to your door like a gentleman. These are for you.” He extends an arm out for you. That’s when you finally notice the bouquet and blank.  

You stare at him then back at the flowers.  

“I- You didn’t have to.” You say timidly, smiling at the flowers so preciously. Kyungsoo would give you another bouquet for a chance to see that smile on your face again.  

“I wanted to.” 

“Yellow and black for Batman?” You bite your lip and give him a kiss on the cheek, making Kyungsoo blush. “I love them. Thank you.” 

You quickly place the flowers inside your home. 

“Okay, I’m ready.” You tuck your hair behind your ear. Kyungsoo chuckles at your excitement before taking your hand to escort you to his car.  

He only lets go to open the door to your surprise. You look uncomfortable as if no one has ever done this for you before.  

“You really don’t have to.” 

“It’s your first date. I want it to be memorable.” 

You blush, quickly sitting down to hide your face behind the door but Kyungsoo catches it nonetheless. 

The first spot he brings you to is a trendy brunch spot in the city where he learns that you are a bottomless pit and you can eat three pancakes on your own within 15 minutes. He then surprises you with a trip to a thrift store with an extensive comic book section where you browsed the endless piles, going through the comics one by one.  

He had checked on reddit for recommendations and found this store. He’s happy to see that he made the right call and brought you here instead of an actual comic book store. He almost laughs aloud at how concentrated you look. He loves seeing your brows furrowed. He rarely gets to see your hair down so watching strands fall down your face sent Kyungsoo’s heart fluttering. You just looked so effortlessly pretty. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t really read comics but he browses all the same, showing you every cool cover he sees.  

“This one’s cool. Doc Ock Wins?” Kyungsoo pulls out the comic to show you and is taken aback when your eyes widen in surprise. You rush to his side immediately. Your vanilla perfume hits his nose and he melts. His hand unconsciously settles on your hip while you grab the comic from his hold.  

Kyungsoo’s head tilts as you examine the colourful paper. He chuckles when a cheeky grin appears like you’re an evil mastermind about to unveil your super evil plans. 

“What? Is it valuable?” He laughs, hand rubbing up and down your side. 

You push your glasses up in the nerdy way Kyungsoo loves so much.  

“This is a 1967 issue in near mint condition. You can get this appraised and it could go for hundreds. And you just picked it out of the hundreds of comics here.” You explain, handing it back to him. “It’s a really good find.” 

“Oh shit.” Kyungsoo looks down at the comic in his hands. It didn’t seem fair to find such a gem as someone who didn’t appreciate them the way you did. “I’ll get it for you.” 

“What? No, you keep it. You found it. It’ll be a good investment. I can show you reputable grading companies if you’d like.” You shake your head, pushing it back to his chest.  

“We came here for you. This is yours.” He tries to sway you, pulling you in closer by the waist. “Take it.” 

You purse your lips, trying to stop yourself from showing how happy he just made you.  

“Are you sure?”  

“Seeing you smile like this, why wouldn’t I be sure?” His hand reaches your cheek, rubbing your thumb mindlessly.  

You beam, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him down for a quick kiss.  

“Thank you, Kyungsoo.” You look up at him with glossy eyes. “For always being so nice to me.” 

Kyungsoo’s melts at the sound of your small voice. It makes him sad to think not everyone has been kind to you the way you deserved. You were often overlooked, even by him. He was seeing you now. He won’t make that same mistake again. 

-------- 

“It’ll just be a sec! I want my friends to meet you!” Kyungsoo says excitedly as if he was trying to convince you to be excited with him. But you couldn’t share that sentiment with him. You knew the kind of people he hung out with. And Kyungsoo knew that too.  

Just how he did with you, he wanted you to give them a second chance to get to know them. 

And just like the sweetheart you are, you comply, holding his hand tightly and holding your breath as you walk into the pub. 

You come to a halt when you see the familiar faces from high school.  

“They’re not as scary as they look. And if they do say anything weird, I’ll be there, okay?” Kyungsoo rubs his thumb on your hand. He hopes it’s enough to reassure you. He really wants to show his friends that you were sweet and funny. You weren’t just that weird girl in class who was weirdly obsessed with dinosaurs and superheroes. That you were the girl he was slowly falling for. 

“Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N, these are my friends Hyoseob and Jiho.” Kyungsoo’s hand is rubbing your lower back reassuringly. You introduce yourself perfectly in his eyes. Hyoseob shook your hand as the normal one of the two. Jiho, on the other hand, has some odd vendetta towards you and doesn’t reach to shake your hand, only nodding in your direction to acknowledge you.  

At least that was something. It was a start.  

“Did you guys order already?” You ask as you slide into the booth. You were trying to make conversation to Kyungsoo’s delight. He knew how nervous you were yet here you were, being considerate and polite for his sake.  

“We got some nachos for the table.” Hyoseob, fortunately, responds to you, reciprocating your politeness. “You’re welcome to share with us.” 

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer. Thank you, Hyoseob.” You smile, closing the menu and setting it on the table.  

“So how was the date? Kyungsoo wouldn’t stop talking about it all week.” Hyoseob continues. 

Kyungsoo smiles when you reply with excitement and a blush, excitingly showing them the new comic Kyungsoo got you. He knew he could count on Hyoseob to be friendly. The two of you continued to bounce off each other, quickly getting comfortable enough to joke around with each other.  

Jiho was on the quieter side. Nothing Kyungsoo wasn’t used to. It took his multi-layered friend time to get to know. 

It didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. 

“Did you ever finish that build?” Jiho randomly asks when there was a pause between you and Hyoseob’s conversation. Kyungsoo has no idea what he’s referring to. 

“Build?” Kyungsoo turns to you for explanation. You don’t seem fazed by it. 

“I did! I didn’t think you’d remember me.” You reveal a bit more, leaving Kyungsoo a lot more confused. Jiho always held some weird resentment towards you. He thought that stemmed from some deep insecurity of his to hate on people smarter than him. Maybe he was wrong. “I used to go to Jiho’s dad’s shop a lot to get the parts for my computer. They always had good discounts.” 

Well, that’s news to Kyungsoo. Having you surprise him was nothing special. Having you know Jiho even back in high school, that was news.  

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys knew each other back then too.” 

That’s when Kyungsoo feels you freeze beside him.  

“Uh, yeah. Jiho used to be really nice to me.” You share apprehensively as if you knew you were about to shift the mood. 

Jiho scoffs and takes a sip of his beer. The waiter brings the nachos to the table, interrupting the moment. Kyungsoo would probably have to ask you about this later to fill in the blanks.  

Whatever it is, you continue to be the pleasant person you’ve been since you got here. You tuck in your hair behind your ears. Kyungsoo sucks on his bottom lip, reaches for your hand, and squeezes it reassuringly. He hopes it’s enough to get through this night. He didn’t think you would have some weird history with Jiho. 

Something happened between you two in high school. Kyungsoo thinks you might have dated but that wouldn’t make sense. He knows of every girl Jiho has been with. Unless he was embarrassed to be with you. Maybe that’s what created the riff.  

Kyungsoo shakes his head. It didn’t add up. You seemed genuinely surprised to find out he remembered you. People who date don’t forget one another. 

“My dad really wanted to help you build an inexpensive pc.” Jiho suddenly mutters like he’s too embarrassed to admit it.  

“How is he? I hope he’s doing well. I really appreciate everything he did for me.” A small smile appears on your face, remembering Jiho’s father’s kindness. Then you turn to Kyungsoo with a glint in your eyes, excited to share a little glimpse of your teenage life. “He used to order parts he wouldn’t stock just so I can buy it from him.” 

He remembers how you were alone for a large part of your teenage life. They must have been the few who showed you grace and kindness. He wonders what went wrong that Jiho would feel comfortable badmouthing you. 

“He’s okay. He’s been threatening to retire soon.” Jiho, for the first time tonight, actually laughs and you giggle with him like this was some inside joke.  

“He’s always saying that.” You give Kyungsoo context, being the considerate person that you are.  

You don’t seem nervous anymore. He can tell by the way you lean into him and rest your head on his shoulder. He’s learning that every time you feel comfortable, you initiate contact. Kyungsoo smiles down at the image of how cozy you look under him. He can finally feel himself relax knowing you’re okay with his friends. 

The night goes on. Hyoseob and Jiho order another pint for the table, eventually getting to the point of sloppy, tipsy drunk. They try to get you to play darts with them, but they soon realize you’re a bit too coordinated and gifted in games. You win against them easily. Sometime in the night, they end up at the pool table for a 2v2 where you’re shooting all the solids for Kyungsoo. Jiho whines while Hyoseob cheers you on.  

Kyungsoo is at bliss knowing that you fit right in. 

“I’m gonna to the bathroom real quick.” Kyungsoo places a hand on your lower back to let you know. You smile at him, holding the cue upright, and reply with a short and sweet “okay”. 

The moment Kyungsoo enters the restrooms, he’s hit with an overwhelming feeling in his chest. He knew his friends would fall for her as hard as he did. He can’t remember the last time he introduced a girl to his friends and it going this smoothly.  

And Kyungsoo has introduced his friends to many women.  

He can’t contain the smile on his face. You’ve made him so happy this past month.  

He wants to bring you on so many other dates, bring you to all the places you never got the chance to visit as a teen. He wants to recreate memories with you and replace every single lonely one.  

Although you both come from very different childhoods, Kyungsoo finally feels that he’s met his match. Someone that will bring out the best in him even if he feels that he might not deserve you. He hopes he can do the same for you so you can show off that shiny bright personality of yours to the world. It deserves to get to know you too. 

Kyungsoo washes up quickly so he can be by your side as soon as possible. He walks out the doors with a stupid grin on his face. 

It slowly disappears when he notices how uncomfortable Hyoseob looks.  

“What’s wrong? Y/N beat you guys again?” Kyungsoo laughs lightheartedly.  

Hyoseob doesn’t answer, instead his eyes shift to Jiho. Kyungsoo frowns when Jiho avoids his stare. He follows Jiho’s line of vision to the door.  

He looks around. There’s a sudden drop in his stomach. 

“Where’s Y/N?”  

Jiho’s eyes flick to Kyungsoo’s by accident. He sees the guilt in his eyes. 

“What did you do?” Kyungsoo’s tone darkens, a lot graver and threatening.  

He grows angrier when Jiho stays silent.  

“I was gone for a minute. What did you do?” He asks one more time. 

“She was going to find out eventually.” Jiho mutters, barely reaching Kyungsoo’s ears to hear. But when it does, it’s loud. The volume of the chatter in the bar is becoming deafening.  

His breath hitches and that pit in his stomach grows tenfold. He can’t think about anything else but you. He grabs his keys and storms off. He can hear Hyoseob calling his name behind him. He doesn’t care. He can’t care when you’re out there thinking he lied to you. 

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” He chants to himself, hoping you’d pick up the phone, be the understanding person that you are, and hear him out. It’s to his surprise that you do. 

“Y/N? Where are you?” Kyungsoo tries not to sound too frantic. 

He hears you take a deep breath. 

“Don’t call. Don’t text. When you see me in class, don’t even look at me. Fuck you, Do Kyungsoo.” 

You hang up abruptly, not even giving a chance for Kyungsoo to speak. 

He tries calling again, phone shaking in his hold. 

The number you have dialed is unavailable. 

chananyeol bong: if anyone has a copy of that oilblotter drabble :') pls send it my way. i think it about it a lot 🤕❤️‍🩹💔 this will have a second part (and maybe third - i can only hate myself for this lol) this was started when i was being moody from my period and it was hard to finish cause i was in my usual sunshine and rainbows mood after lol UPDATE I FOUND IT!!!! i've linked it above for anyone interested :)

on this segment of memes that made me think of this story:

[archernarbeta]

On the Floor,

✴︎ pairing : Kyungsoo x Reader

✴︎ genre : angst, mystery, I don’t know 😭 Kyungsoo is an idol tho

✴︎ warnings : mentions of suicide, description of smoking

✴︎ wc : 750

✴︎ a/n : I guess this is loosely inspired by smoking Soo from Room No.7? I’m honestly not sure.

“You’re staring again.”

He stated in a matter-of-factly manner. The dim lighting of the living room illuminated his skin too well, giving it a soft glow even though the rest of the space was pitch black. Nevertheless, his was special. He’s like those people you could easily see in the middle of a crowd, always so glowing that in the darkest night, he’s all you see. The little light reflected the moles on his face. A few on his cheeks, the ones on his chin that is always covered by makeup and a little one on his lips- the less prominent one people like to miss.

“You’re spacing out, stop that” he quipped, “I don’t like when your eyes go blank like this.” he sighed before picking up another cigarette from the pack. He lit it up and brought it to his mouth, inhaling a deep breath of nicotine before puffing out a heavy wisp, covering the room. You stared at him wordlessly, gazing at him and the filled ashtray, remnants of the nicotine sticks crowded the tray with bits of ashes falling down dirtying the floor.

“You picked up smoking, again.” It was now your turn to state a matter-of-fact opinion. You hated this habit of his, smoking. No matter how much he mentioned how smoking helps him stay sane, you refused to understand. Because with each puff, you felt him slowly chipping away just like the smoke coming out from his lips.

There were times where you got into fights because of his habits, commotion filled with yelling and screaming due to the deadly little sticks. Both of you were too young then, too foolish and obviously way too naïve to be playing house with each other.

To think about it, you were willing to do anything to bring those heated moments back. The never ending bickering filled with so much raw emotions. You’d do anything to redo it all over again, anything but this. Staring into each other, silently killing each other inside wordlessly in the darkness of once a vivid living space.

He held his gaze at your figure and the way that the hollow of your cheeks becomes visible each day broke him more than he’d like to admit. But to be fair, he knew a part of it was his fault anyways. He gave a low hum as if he wanted your attention. It was a stupid move knowing that you wouldn’t care, you stopped caring about him a long time ago.

“I can’t do this.” He took another huff and stared at the ceilings, paying little to no attention to the fact that the room was nearly pitch black.

“Neither can I.”

Something inside of him snapped as if your response pushed his buttons, “Stop that. Stop trying to respond to me.”

“Isn’t that what you want? For me to respond- talk to you?” You countered back almost immediately, a sharp tone coming out of you.

He sighed and ruffled his hair out of frustration before taking another cigarette out from its box, lighting his nth stick. He lit it up slowly, in contrast with the hold he has on the stick, you reckon he’d crush the cigarette soon before having a whiff from it with that hold.

“It’s not like you could,” he replied while kissing the toxins with his plump lips.

“Then what are you doing now, Soo?”

“Fuck. I- I don’t know. Maybe I’m angry? That you’re suddenly dead but I’m still fucking here walking in circles. Life’s already shit and now I need to wait for something half as good as you?! Hell- maybe I should be angry y/n. You should’ve gave me a heads up, you know? Something along the lines with, ‘hey I might take my own life tomorrow?’ would be fucking great! But maybe I’m scared that I’ll miss you? I know I’ll fucking miss you, I’ll get hooked by cigs again and half of it- is your fault! Do you know how fucking unfair this is? For God’s sake… why did you do this?” Kyungsoo huffed and puffed before exhaling an exhausted breath.

“Do you know that for all the times that you started hating life, you started to despise me, I never stopped loving you? Fuck- not an inch of me isn’t filled with love for you. Do you know how much I love you?” He spoke into thin air.

He took another draw before staring at your lifeless body. It was apparent that his eyes were again brimming with tears. He sobbed like a mad man when he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The fact was, Do Kyungsoo had been crying for the past 2 hours. During that time, a confused and lost Do Kyungsoo had finished a pack and a half of cigarettes.

He had found you in the dark after work, not breathing, soulless in the corners of what he called home. Much like your soul, his sanity had left him the second he saw you. He hesitantly held your hand once in a while, checking if the warmth of your body was still there. He knew he probably had his screws loose by now.

After his last cigarette, Kyungsoo had his last straw. He finally fished out his phone and jammed the numbers of the emergency line, something he supposed to do hours ago.

“911? My girlfriend took her own life.”

“OD. Two and a half hours ago.”

“Lifeless, on the floor.”

“I- I don’t know… I don’t think I had any reasons to call sooner? She- she was already dead…”

[archernarbeta]

Hi, it’s archie here.

I’m dropping in just to let everyone know that I won’t be updating for a while. I do have a part 2 of Do Better in the drafts and another Jongin fic that I’ve written from my prompt but I’m positive that I won’t be releasing them anytime soon.

I’m currently preparing to move cross country and a new semester in uni, so I’m busy as it is.. but I decided to take a break due to Jongin’s sudden news of enlistment has my heart broken in pieces that I honestly don’t know how to cope. I have been crying endlessly since the news broke out and when I saw him on the live… I seriously just lost it. I’ll be taking a break from writing but hopefully will be back soon.

- love, archie

[ficscafe]

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[archernarbeta]

Please come home Mr. Rover

Prompt by @archernarbeta

Kim Jongin x reader

Prompt: 

You were 8 when your mother walked hand in hand with a boy, physique way older than yours. 

You were 9 when he came home with bruises on his face, blacks and blues decorated his skin but all you see was his eyes, full of rage and sadness. 

You were 10 when you became inseparable, with you clinging to him everywhere he went. 

You were 17 when he left, his absence emptied your soul. 

You were 21 when you met the wanderer, the feeling was familiar yet foreign. 

What would happen to you when faith chose to take its course?

a/n: hii it’s archie! the prompt in question is currently in the works and I’m super excited to finish this fic! it’s heavily inspired by Rover and the ‘wanderer concept’, if you can’t tell duh 🙄 🤷‍♀️ but anyways stay tuned for now bcs I’m still figuring out the flow of the story (i suck, sorry) BUT I SWEAR I’LL FINISH ߹ᯅ߹

Also, read my other fics here!

[archernarbeta]

About me

hello! it’s archie here ◡̈

I’ve logged in to tumblr for years now but this year I decided to start writing! Here are some facts about me that no one asked about but I’d love to share:

archie comes from archernarbeta, in which archernar is brightest star in the constellation of eridanus — nerd astrology fact

I love writing but English is not my first language, so pardon my sometimes fucked-up grammars and sentences. I apologise in advance for the errors.

I’m a sucker for hurt-comfort fic. I’ll be writing those the most because the topics honestly hits home.

I only stan and write for EXO

If this writing thing becomes a regular thing I’ll be opening a request soon and my messages are open for anyone to chat so feel free to drop a hello! 

[archernarbeta]

Navigation

about me

Masterlist

Baekhyun | Baby, you're it

Chanyeol | For all the moments

D.O Kyungsoo | Do Better

[archernarbeta]

For all the moments

✴︎ pairing : Chanyeol x Reader

✴︎ genre : domestic!au, idol!chanyeol, editor!reader, angst, fluff, comfort, yearning

✴︎ summary : For all the moments, you were always by his side. For all the moments, he was always next to you.

✴︎ warning : none, maybe mild cursing but nothing else!

✴︎ word count : 4.2K

✴︎ author’s note : hii! It’s archie! This one has been hanging out on my drafts for way too long and I finally decided it’s time to take it out! Anyways, this fic was initially for Baekhyun but I felt that the scenario fits better with Chanyeol. I was highly inspired by EXO-SC’s Jet-lag and Kyungsoo’s recent birthday party where he sang Beautiful Day! I hope you enjoy this one and feel free to leave feedback or comments! likes are also much appreciated ♥ 

⁠—

The loud drizzling sounds of rain hitting your apartment window can’t help but stir you up from your deep slumber. What the hell, you thought, rubbing your eyes a little to wash away your sleepiness. The clock beside your bedside table reads 3.40am, the timing indicates that it’s too early for anyone to be awake at the moment. The sky kept rumbling, with thunders flashing every minute and you groaned at the sight of the storm rolling in front of you. Being woken up from a storm was one thing but being awake without your husband, was another thing. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep again so you grabbed your phone to check if Chanyeol had landed in Seoul from his recent work trip from Paris. 

Notifications 02.30am KST Yeol: > Babe? > I just landed with the worst weather ever! > I can't wait to see you > I missed you so much :(( Read 03.43am KST

Being married for 2 years to one of the most famous idol in Korea, you were accustomed to his busy schedule. Flying out here and there to attend concerts, award shows, photoshoots and prestigious events was part of the job. With you working as a fashion editor, his daily agenda was not out of the ordinary for you. The difference only being the fact that he works under the limelight, but you don’t—not that you mind at all. Nevertheless, both of you made it work. It was too easy to understand how it feels to work under a tight schedule without any time to breathe. You with your never-ending deadlines and meetings, and him with his idol life. 

However, dating him for 6 years and being married to him for three, being away from him never gets easier.

You zoned out for a while before a loud thud distracted your attention, followed by your bedroom door clicking open. Your husband was finally home, his tall frame resting against the door with a huge grin on his face. Even with the minimal lighting of your bedroom, you could make up the bags under his sparkling eyes and the sight made you frown. 

“Hii honey,” his voice soft as ever, “I missed you so much..”

You sat up beaming at him while reaching out, welcoming him with open arms. He took a step closer to the bed, engulfing your sleepy figure. You replied with a small ‘hello’ as you melted into his hug. You really can’t help but wonder how he’d smell so nice after a long-haul flight, but nevertheless, you love inhaling his scent that brings you nothing but comfort.

“How long have you been awake? The storm must’ve woken you up.” His voice was laced with worry.

You held his cheeks with your hands and he practically melt under your touch, 

“Not too long ago.”

“Please quickly shower and join me in bed, huh? Pretty please…” you pouted at his tired state. 

“Anything for you, baby. Give me a while and I’ll join you as soon as possible!” 

He didn’t close the door as he showered, not that you’d mind, at this point you were too sleepy to even think of peeking. As the water ran down on his back, he unconsciously kept you awake by chatting with you. He really couldn’t help that he missed his wife so much. 

“Babe, do you have plans tomorrow?”

“No? Not that I could think of…I might drop by the studio and the office tomorrow morning but other than that, I don’t think I’ll be booked the whole day. Are you going somewhere tomorrow?” 

“The office? Isn’t tomorrow like..Saturday? Is Saerim giving you a hard time? What about the interns? They’re not helping you enough? Are you working too hard again?” He rambled on with concern with a raised voice as the running water muffled his voice.

“I- Uh..” you stammered, “Yeol, I t-told you work is fine” you quipped. The sound of the water subsided as a tall figure emerged from the bathroom. Chanyeol dried his hair, ruffling the soft brown locks with a towel as he frowned at your response. He knew you were having a hard time at work and had asked you to quit a thousand times by now. Even without the math, anyone would know that his pay would be enough for the both of you to live comfortably. 

You looked at your golden-retriever husband in the eye, “So where are you going tomorrow?” 

A thing about Chanyeol is that he’d waive things out so easily, as easy as shifting the conversation to another topic and he won’t go back to pester the elephant in the room. 

At your question he blinks a few times, “Would you mind if I take a day out tomorrow with the boys? Baek said he needed some pointers for his upcoming solo album and Junmyeon-Hyung had things to discuss for the group.” He scratched the back of his head. 

“But that is…if it’s okay with you?” he nervously asked. 

“That’s okay, babe…” you half yawned, sleep lulled you once again as you tried snuggling inside the comforter, 

“I really don’t mind”, the drowsiness took you as the soft satin sheets came in contact with your skin. He smiled at the sight as he returned the towel to its place. Chanyeol didn’t take long to join you in bed, cuddling you in his arms. 

After his hectic schedules and weeks without holding you, being beside you was the perfect medicine to charge his tired form. He sighed, relieving all his weariness before the slumber took him out.

He knew, this was home. 

You, were home.

⁠—

Morning came faster than you’d like. The rain from last night hadn’t stopped, raindrops trickling on your high-floor apartment as the sky was still dark as ever. Beside you, a tired giant, possessively hugging you amidst his sleep. You giggled at this grown-up man’s clingy behaviour.  Chanyeol will always be the cutest, ever. 

You blamed your body clock for waking up so early on a Saturday, especially on this dreading Saturday. 

With a little struggle, you free yourself from Chanyeol’s hold and tiptoed to the kitchen. It was just 6.00am but you quickly prepared breakfast for the both of you and salad, for Chanyeol just in case he wants a light lunch. 

As you sipped your coffee, last night’s conversation went through your head. He knew you had troubles at work, he had plans and you said you were okay, you didn’t mind.

You internally sighed because mind you did.

You were far from okay.

Because even though you’d hate to admit it, you’d love to have him for yourself. In fact, you have missed him so much these past few weeks that it physically hurts. 

But no. 

You had work. 

Your useless-piece-of-a-shit-partner Yoon Saerim, will probably taunt you if you don’t come up with a better concept for this month’s pictorial. So even though you miss being around your ball of sunshine more than you’d like to admit, fate was just not in your favour this Saturday. 

You could always quit, is what Yeol usually says after your long rant about your horrible boss and the disgusting amount of workload you had to handle. Sure you have subordinates and interns working under you, but working in fashion for so long, you came to the conclusion that nothing is never ever enough when it comes to the industry. 

Thinking back, Chanyeol always loved being under the spotlight as an idol ever since his debut days and making music was as precious as that. After both of you settled down and eventually got married, you were quick to admit that Chanyeol sacrificed a lot for you, even if you didn’t ask him to. He paid the bills, every bill. He took care of the parents, dinner dates with your parents and his every other week were a staple and he’d never miss sending health supplements once in a while. You never asked him to do so but married Chanyeol just stepped up and took on the role as a caring husband so naturally. 

Even with his burning passion in music, he went the extra mile, producing countless songs by the count of months. At times he goes on an overdrive, he’d lock himself up in the studio and he would forget about everything else. Situations like this scares the shit out of you. You remembered the first time he went berserk, it took you and his members two days to figure out where he was. He’d gone AWOL and you had to call the police to track down his phone, just to find out that he’d been coping himself in the studio for 48 hours without sleep or food, only water. You and Sehun found him sitting down in front of the recording booth with a guitar in hand, music sheets sprawled on the floor. His eyes were already bloodshot red, it was clear that he was sleep-deprived, very tired and out of focus. Sehun sighed, ready to scold Yeol for his stupid behaviour before your husband quipped, 

“Please don’t take me away, not yet…” 

his eyes all over the place with brows furrowed, his forehead creasing.

“I swear if you give me more time, I’ll finish this tomorrow and I’ll go but please leave and don’t come here until tomorrow, yeah? I need to finish this song because they’ll pay a huge amount for this one… Give me more time, please?” He is disassociated as ever, you were aware that he didn’t notice you due to his state.

“Hyung…” the younger sighed again.

“S-Sehun-ah, I have Y/N now.. You might not know how it feels now but I- I want to give the world to her. We’re idols but our prime time is way past us, when the momentum is gone, we might too.” He dropped his head to the door of the recording booth as he sighed,

He mindlessly draws patterns on the floor, “I need to save up for Y/N, for our future.. and it won’t happen if I don’t work like this. So-“

In a blink you crouched down, embracing him with tears already wetting your face. Words couldn’t form but the pressure, the knot that he bear was starting to unravel. He got your message,

You’re enough. 

Moments like these, his breakdowns, were one of the things that kept you grounded. If you’re being honest, your job also keeps you on your feet. Working as an co-chief editor in fashion was always your dream and to be frank, you enjoyed the job more than you let on. But the past year has been nothing but hell, thanks to the newly appointed co-chief editor Yoon Saerim. You habitually ponder how she got the position as she wasn’t really suitable for the job, she didn’t really have the knack for fashion. But moreover, you just didn’t like the fact that she ogled Chanyeol and Sehun when they came by for a photoshoot. 

You quickly snapped out of your deep thoughts when you gulped your last drop of coffee, thinking of Yoon Saerim never fails to make you turn sour. 

Without wasting more time, you prepared yourself to head to your studio. For disclaimer, the studio was Chanyeol’s, not the office’s. Not long after you started the job years ago, both of you decided that it would be nice to rent out an old apartment in the city for the both of you to work. The studio has a built-in recording booth, production space for Chanyeol and a creative working-space for you. However, with time passing, you ended up using the space more than your husband. 

Before you left the house, you gave him a forehead kiss and stuck a post-it-note on his phone, 

‘Good Morning My Happy Virus ♡  thank you for always working so hard,  sometimes you worry me, love :( have a great time with the boys today! am out for work - it’s deadline week ◡̈   i love you 3000 —  much, much love, Y/N ‘

—

You arrived at the empty studio with your shoulders slumped, looking at the stacked paper, pictorials and mood boards around your disoriented workspace. The interns must’ve sent these yesterday, fucking hell, here we go again. 

Not long after, you succumbed to the job you love and hate at the same time. To be honest, as one of the high-ranked chief editor in your company, it wasn’t your share to do these tasks anymore, those days were over you. But reviewing each and every item, every trend that goes into the magazine is a job you love no matter how meticulous it actually is. Besides, the information you extract from all this has proven to help your career so far, making you one of the sought-out fashion editors in Seoul. However the fact doesn’t relieve you from the burden and pressure you get from your useless co-chief editor.

“She’s bossy and pushy but useless— and you’re too compliant, Babe,” Chanyeol would always joke and you’d usually tackle him back with a pillow, leaving both of you cackling in the process.

Speaking of Chanyeol, the man in question just stirred up from bed, barely opening his eyes, adjusting to the gloomy weather in front of his open-windowed bedroom. He instantly rubbed his sides, sleep evidently washed away when he realised his beloved Y/N weren’t there. He called your name out a few times to make sure that maybe, you were outside the room, just to know that his voice had filled the void of your apartment. 

As expected, he immediately sat up and grabbed his phone to call you. Before even unlocking his cell, he found your oh-so-lovely note that you stuck on this morning. Chanyeol sighed, he knew you were having a hard time but you never fail to warm his heart with your sweet note, he particularly loved the use of his favourite iron-man quote. 

He stared at the note lovingly for a while before heading to the bathroom and freshened up for the day. When he entered the kitchen to see a packed lunch box and another one with breakfast inside, he sulked further. Your puppy-like husband misses you and you doing this, made him sappier. He carefully unpacked the meals you prepared, gratefully munching your cooking. He was supposed to meet his members at 10 and so, he drove quickly as he was running late. When he parked his car in front of the company’s building, a text came from Baekhyun. 

Notifications 10.08am KST Baek: > Yeol? > the meeting’s canceled > Junmyeon-hyung said something came up > and my mom called, she wanted my help :O > Really sorry for the sudden intrusion! But have a good rest day with Y/N ^^  > Send her my love too!! Read 10.15am KST

< BYUN BAEKHYUN YOU LITTLE SHIT < THANKS FOR THE ‘HEADS UP’ < Picture sent < LOOK WHERE I AM YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! Sent 10.16am KST

Baek:  > Oh.. > The message didn’t come through 😅 I texted you way before,, must be the reception?  > But you can always have a good time with y/n!!  > I’m so sorry 🥺 Read 10.17am KST

Chanyeol couldn’t be sulkier. His ears literally drooped down as he huffed in annoyance. He didn’t reply back to Baekhyun as he slid the phone back in his pockets. He drove home in silence, even the thought of going back to bed to aid his tiredness didn’t make him feel better. He entered the foyer of the empty apartment and he shuffled inside lazily. You’d probably melt if you see him right now, his shoulder slumped slightly with a goo-goo look on his face. Especially now, with his buffier-form, compared to his pre-debut lanky state is something you’d administer as a cute change as a result of his exercising habits over the years. But it doesn’t matter because you’re not there and alas he came home to a cold, dark, empty apartment with his love nowhere to be seen. 

The sky dark, rain still pouring down, much like his mood. The thing about Chanyeol is the fact that he’s a clingy extrovert when it comes to people he loves. You love that about him. He didn’t care about the hectic schedule, it’s the ‘being away from you’ that made everything hard to surpass. That’s why after every schedule abroad, Chanyeol would love going home when he knows his love is waiting for him. There’s nothing better than coming home to a warm apartment with you snuggled on the couch. However, now, he’s the only one on the couch, alone. 

He pondered for more than an hour, zoning out, before deciding to stand up and head to the door once again. The silence is deafening, he misses you too much and he had to do something about it.

— 

In your studio, coming in your nearly fifth hour of productivity, you’re starting to break down. You were now on the verge of crying while doing your work, it’s the creativity block, you mentally cursed. You’ve been dealing with it lately but having to work in fashion, it’s inevitable and you never really told anyone about it, especially not Chanyeol. You felt that his occupation demanded more of him than yours did to you, you wouldn’t want to burden him with your problems. 

“Fuck.” 

“Fucking hell!” 

“This is so not happening right now…” tears welled as the screen of your precious laptop turned pitch black. You scoffed at the situation with the waterworks falling down your eyes. You were over this. 

You slumped near the corners of the room, hugging your knees as you stared at your now dead device, silently crying as your head whirls for other, worse negative possibilities of happening. Numb, is probably the best way to describe your current state after crying your heart out for 30 minutes straight. You end up curling yourself into a ball, hanging your head low in the corners of the room as your mind goes blank. 

As you hid yourself in the darkest corners of your office, you failed to notice the jiggling sound of the key, the clacking locks and the noise of the door opening. 

“Babeeeee?” the sound traveled from the hallway. Lo and behold, a sulked Chanyeol is here. His mood is still on the low but the idea of meeting you gets him excited like a puppy. 

You couldn’t hear him though,  your head still in a blocked-state and the room you’re in was the furthest from the hallway. 

Chanyeol entered the studio, footsteps tapping against the hardwood flooring. It puzzled him why he didn’t receive an answer back, but knowing your shoes were on the foyer, he knew you were somewhere inside. He set foot to the break room, your coat was on the couch but where were you? 

He continued peeking into his recording studio, the nearest space to the break room. The lights were out, signalling him that you’re probably not there. The bathroom and the other rooms were also empty, your office was the only place left. He slowly knocked, hoping to get an answer. To his surprise, nothing. He then gently pushed the door open, just enough for his head to peek inside. Before he could call your name, he heard sniffles from the farthest corner, he could make up your hunched, clearly crying figure and your favourite beige socks too. He exhaled as his worries washed away. Even though his heart ached more than ever, finding you with a meltdown was a relief as he initially thought you passed out or worse. 

He didn’t enter the room. He shuffled himself out as quietly as possible to grab his guitar in his recording room. This should do, he thought.

He re-entered your office, walked closer and sat on the floor near you. The cramped space barely fits his long legs. 

“Hey,” he greeted you with a hushed voice. 

Noticing his voice, you instinctively lift up your head to see your husband, sitting in front of you. In your shocked-state, you forcefully brushed off your tears in embarrassment, your skin will probably turn red later.

“Hey.. No, no, no..” he reached out, wiping your tears, caressing your disheveled hair. 

“Gently, yeah, yeah.. You’ll hurt yourself” he continued as he patted the areas under your eyes with his long sleeves.

After you calmed down, you didn’t have the courage to even say anything to the man. Deep down, you were embarrassed to be found in a silly breakdown, even if it was your husband. Besides, you didn’t know what to say to him anyways. While you were overthinking and avoiding eye contact with him, he pulled the guitar behind him and started to play a familiar song,

“It's a beautiful life 난 너의 곁에 있을게 (I'll stay by your side) It's a beautiful life 너의 뒤에 서 있을게 (I'll stand right behind you) Beautiful love”

Slowly but surely, your heart warmed up to the sound of his voice and you couldn’t help but stare at your husband. He stopped singing when your eyes met and he gave you a comforting smile. 

“C’mon, let’s get you up princess,” as he helped you stand up, circling his arms around your waist. You haven’t articulated a sound but he didn’t mind, he just let you lean into his sides as he guided you to the couch in the break room. He sat you down before abruptly standing and rummaging a brown paper bag on the coffee table, 

“I got your favourite cake and hot chocolate actually,” he grinned, facing your puffy face. “I thought you were having a hard time, well- I know you are having a hard time… But you never tell me you know, Babe?” He rambled as he unboxed a variety of sliced cakes and pastries on the table. 

“I-I get the fact that you wouldn’t want to burden me, but I’m kinda your husband and best friend too.. I wish you wouldn’t keep these things from me” he picked up the fork and scooped a piece of cheesecake to feed you, 

Before you had the chance to reply,

“I mean—open up a lil’ baby— I don’t mind you working and all, it’s your passion and I will support you either way, but you don’t get to shield your meltdowns from me… Who’s gonna hold you when you cry, huh?” he kept on chattering while feeding you, giving you no room to talk.

“I’ve said a thousand times that we’re super comfortable right now, yet I know it’s not about the money, I’m super cool with you working.. It’s about the workload a-and the pressure you get from your subs and colleagues!!” He raised his arms as a sign of annoyance. 

You gulped down the big chunk of cheesecake and shut him up with a peck. The action took him by surprise but it didn’t fail to shut him up.

“Okay, Chanyeol.” you softly replied, followed by another peck on his lips

“I get what you mean” you smiled at your husband. 

You then began on telling the troubles you had at work, silently thanking the universe that he came in the right moment and that he was your saving grace. He listened intently, even going to the measures of contacting his technician friends to help fix your laptop as soon as possible. He made jokes too along the way to lighten your mood and gave you warm touches here and there to comfort you further. 

You were his home, his ground zero.

He was yours too.

— 

Hours passed and now you were back working, Chanyeol in the other room, busying himself in the recording studio.

“Yeol?” you called him.

“Hmm? What’s up princess?”

“Uh- I just remembered, didn’t you had like- plans? You were supposed to go with Baek and the members today right?”

Footsteps were apparent as he walked closer to the opened door of your office, his head peeped through the door.

“Junmyeon-Hyung canceled, Baek too.. I was quite grumpy because I reached the office when Baekhyun texted me” He walked in further.

“Then I came home but the house wasn’t warm enough even though I cranked the heater up!” He sulked, and sulked further. 

“I was alone, I don’t want to be…I also don't want you to be alone too Y/N.

I only wanted to be around you, I really tried staying in!! But I couldn’t be alone in the house without you when you’re my home.” he pouted. 

You want to die then and there, you miss him as much and he was sad, it makes you sad too, but he was being sulky-cute… Can you turn into a putty of love?

“Come here you big baby!” you excitedly threw yourself in his arms. He buried his soft locks on the crook of your neck as he whispered ‘I miss you' s and you couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh.

“I miss you too, Yeol..

I miss you so, so much.” He hugged you tighter as he giggled too.

This was it, you thought. This was love at its finest and you couldn’t be happier that you’ve found it. For all the moments, good or bad, both of you never failed to become each other's home.  

[archernarbeta]

Baby, You’re it

✴︎ pairing : Baekhyun x Reader

✴︎ genre : domestic!au, non-idol!baek, angst, fluff, comfort

✴︎ summary : all relationships has its fall-outs, what happens if yours had gone on for months, swept under the rug?

✴︎ warning : childhood trauma, negligence (not by baek), cursing

✴︎ word count : 2.8K

✴︎ author’s note : hii ಥ∀ಥ It’s archie here! This is my first fanfic in years and I really hope that you guys like this! Please do leave comments because I feel there’s so much room for improvements ಥ‿ಥ Thank you so much for stopping by!

You sighed for the fifth time in the last two minutes, eyes never leaving the kitchen floor. Your knuckles had turned white as your hands gripped the cold marble table top of the kitchen island, the moment felt like eternity. You steadied yourself, propping most of your weight to the table, feeling like you could lose your balance if you lose your grip

He watched you, holding his own breath, trying to control his emotions. Clearly, this wasn’t working like he expected it to be. He opened his mouth, yet closed it again. He gave you a look, the one that drives you crazy every time you argue with him. The look consists of his droopy eyes, all sad and confused, perfectly drowning you alive in guilt. 

“Y/n,” he hesitantly squeaked with the tiniest voice possible. 

You gave him the slightest nod while your eyes were still glued to your baby pink fuzzy socks he gifted you years ago. It was totally worn-out, considering the amount of times you wore it over the years, yet it was still your favorite pair. 

You weren’t sure if this conversation is something you wanted to have, you never were in the first place. This exact conversation was something both of you purposely hindered for the past 6 months. Both of you felt that it wouldn’t end well, so you both avoided each other like a plague. 

—

It started during last year’s summer, you and Baekhyun decided that you’re in need of a refreshing holiday, preferably close to nature for a nice- healing 'breather', from your hectic lives. In which you both decided to stay over his cousin’s villa in Jeju, hence probably the first mistake. 

When his very nosy aunt knew you were coming, she was ecstatic. She made sure everything was perfect for the Byun family’s favorite couple. As soon as you stepped foot into his aunt’s house, she couldn’t stop pestering if the both of you will ever get married, given that you’ve been dating for 6 years. Baekhyun tried to stop her by saying that you’re both still young and not of age for marriage. However the conversation escalated into her prying if you were going to have kids, which was always a sensitive topic between the both of you. 

That summer, you left Jeju with a giant lump of guilt in your heart. 

The thing was, you never wanted to have kids because the concept of raising a child seemed so taunting to you. Well, you had your reasons. You were an only child unfavourably raised by two, neglecting, self-centered parents who didn’t bother to even look at you during the course of your life. Yes you had your fair share of wealth, coming from those two, but your childhood was a rough one. They ended up throwing you out when you entered high school, saying you were a nuisance, but the truth was, they were scared that one day you’d inherit their wealth. You ended up raising yourself throughout those years, figuring and finding your own way in the world while your two, selfish parents left you with nothing but lifetime trauma. 

But Baek? Hell, he loves kids. He was crazy with kids, he adored them with all his heart. You could see it when you visit his brother’s place. He wouldn’t stop playing with his niece and nephew, giving them piggyback rides and cracking up jokes to see smiles on their faces.

The silly little conversation with his aunt was the trigger of this snowballing issue because both of you were afraid to jeopardize the relationship. 

Baekhyun knew about your ‘child-free’ mindset and he was always a little bit disappointed about it. Even though he was well aware of your past, he just knew that you’d be a great parent. It was evident from the way you took care of him and those around you. So he thought that maybe, just maybe, you were willing to try. He was so sure that even with your stubborn head, you were willing to try, at least for him. 

He tried approaching you at first, to start the daunting topic between the both of you. He’d try to go home earlier and cook dinner for the both of you, catching up to your office for coffee breaks during lunch time, scheduling movie dates on the weekends and to the extent of peeking your calendar to find your day off. 

But you didn’t budge. 

You were so aware of his attempts that it broke your heart to see him trying like this, but you know you couldn’t give in. It would break you to give in. So you kept your distance with him. When he cooked dinner, you’d hurriedly thank him, clean up and leave the table as soon as you were done with your meal. You took up so many fashion projects that you were swamped the whole day, making you unable to leave the office for lunch break. You even scheduled photoshoots during weekends to avoid dates with him. 

But your boyfriend Baekhyun was a smart man. 

He knew. He was so well aware of what you were doing and it shattered him. But how could he leave you? He couldn’t even if he tried. How could he ever leave when you’re the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with? 

So he stopped trying. 

He didn’t do anything to even start the dreaded conversation. 

However, nothing changed. 

You still kept your distance, you were so scared of what’s to come that you didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. 

—

Yet here you are, feeling all lost and broken while eyes glued to the floor, finally having the conversation you fought so hard to avoid.

Oh y/n, jokes on you, you thought. 

“Y/n…look at me…” He sighed, trying to capture your attention again.

You frowned, holding back a wave of emotion. “No.” you replied.

“Christ, y/n”, he frustratedly ran his hands through his hair, 

“You need to talk to me… you-you need to talk to me so I know. I need to know what you want from me…If this is not what you want-“ 

“No, Baek.” you quickly snapped. “This, is not what I want. This conversation, is not what I want.” 

“Then why the hell have you been avoiding me for the past six months?! You acted like I was fucking invisible! I swear y/n-“

“I WAS SCARED OF LOSING YOU!” you faced him with your remaining strength, tears falling down your cheeks.

All hell broke loose. The dam had burst. You couldn’t hold it anymore. “I was scared, of losing you, Baek. I knew you wanted to have this conversation ever since we went home from your aunt’s… And-and I knew, I could never say yes to you-“ you sobbed hard.

You felt your legs giving up on you, as you slid down to the floor, “But your eyes, the glint of hopefulness in your eyes every time you try to talk to me, it scares the shit out of me.”

“It fucking scares me that I love you this much and I know it would never be enough because,” you catched your breath before continuing, “This-this trauma…I can’t ever give you what you want. We’re not even married for Christ’s sake…and I’m already depriving you of your future.”

Baekhyun could hear his heart shattering into pieces when the love of his life sprawled in tears, on the kitchen floor of their home. He stayed silent as he watched you sobbed before him. He was just as sad, empty and broken as you. For the first time in his relationship, he felt so helpless. It was so discerning, the feeling of not being able to help you, your trauma, it killed him inside. He felt it as hot tears began to leave tracks on his skin.

“I-I’ll leave…” you incoherently said through your cries, hands furiously wiping your tears away. “I’ll leave so give me time and I’ll-“

“What do you mean?” he clamored. “You’ll leave?! Why the hell are you leaving!” He raised his voice, louder than he let on. 

“You want kids, Baek! You want a family and you know damn well that I can’t give that to you! I can’t raise a goddamn child!” you snapped back at him,  pent up anger and pain seeping through every word.

“I can’t raise a child,“ you trembled, voice slowly going quieter by the minute. “Not when I can’t even heal myself through this shit…It’s been years and I still can’t.” you quivered, holding your head between your legs, hiding yourself from him. 

He couldn’t see you like this for another second, it pained him too much. As you broke down for the second time, he lowered his body and sat down to the space next to you. He tried approaching you as slow as possible and when he realized you didn’t evade his presence, he immediately engulfed you with his broad shoulders, embracing you as you cried. The comforting warmth instantly made you clung onto your boyfriend’s arm, your head rested on his shoulders. He cried with you silently, as he stroked your head, trying to calm you down.

“My baby,” he softly spoke, never letting go of his warm embrace. He kept stroking your head until your tears died down, hugging him calmed your heartbeat and both of you were much calmer.

“Y/n, love… would you mind hearing me out for a bit?” He shifted his position slightly to catch your eyes. You lift up your head to give your boyfriend a nod as he looks at you, eyes red and puffed like yours. 

He chuckled a bit, wiping the rest of your tears with his fingers. He gave you a peck on your puffy left eye and proceeded to kiss the other eye. He gave you an affectionate gaze before dropping another kiss on your forehead. He smiled at you warmly, it was his signature smile and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. Your boyfriend Baekhyun, never failed to  radiate his sunshine-like warmth.

“Love, listen to me okay?” 

“Hmm…” you hummed, answering him. 

“I’ve been thinking, lately, that I’m quite okay with being child-free. I thought I wanted kids, which maybe I still do but I get that not everyone wants kids,”  

“I’ve wrapped my head around it and I guess I’m kinda okay with not having kids,“ he continued, “or at least for now.” he lightly added with a small smile, reaching out to hold your hand.

You frowned a bit, opening your mouth to reply, before he beat you to it, “However I am ecstatic when I think of getting married to the right person.” he grinned while looking at your face.

“I’m not sure when this started but the thought of having a domestic lifestyle is so enrapturing to me. And no, it’s not the grand weddings and honeymoons that gets me excited. It’s the silly little things that I hope I get to do with my partner.” 

You smiled at his words, holding his hands a bit tighter than before.

“The usual weekly grocery shopping we have, the silly little fights about putting down the toilet seat cover that makes creases on your forehead, our mini movie nights in the comforts of our silly little apartment and hopefully taking care of a silly little puppy in the future…” he gave out a nervous laugh and you looked at him lovingly, slowly rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.

“Babe, I’m so excited to learn even more about you as much as you learn about me during our Sunday brunch and afternoon walks, not as your boyfriend but as your husband. We could be stuck up in the apartment all day while it rains outside, you’ll be reading while I’ll sleep next to you. You could cook and I’ll wash the dishes, but of course, we could switch because, whatever works for you.” 

Plastering a giant smile on his face, “Maybe in the near future, you’ll ace driving so we can switch seats every now and then, I’ll ride shotgun while you race me to work!” you laughed at his remarks and lightly slapped his arm. Both of you are completely oblivious to the fact that you’re both seated on the floor below the kitchen island for the past hour. 

He continued with a more serious tone, “I know it seems like I went a little bit overboard on romanticising this domestic life, given the fact that people say it doesn’t really work that way,” he smiled sadly, looking at your intertwined hands. 

“We’ll end up being too tired, too selfish, too worn out to compromise. It scares me, really.”

Baekhyun looked at you again, your eyes met and it’s evident that his eyes held so much confidence in them, “But if finding the right person means waking up together, making coffee and pancakes in the morning, hell, maybe I’m willing to try, kids or no kids.” 

“We’ll have breakfast for dinner and ice cream for breakfast. Fuck. Baby, I’ll ask you to hold my hand when we ride rollercoasters because I’m a fucking coward, but you love me for it right?" He held your hand tighter and stroked your hair with his free finger while leaving pecks all over your head.

"I’m so ready to break plates when we fight, if it means we get to glue them back together again. You’ll probably scream and curse at me when I’m obnoxious but I might do the same when you ignore me.” He chuckled, his eyes glistened as emotions got a hold of him. You cupped the side of his face with one of your free hands. 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind as long as we hug it out. I promise I’ll laugh with you, cry with you and smile for you. The biggest smile on this face will only be for you. I know we’ve done some of these things now, but if being married to you means having this for the rest of my life with you, I’m so up for it” he finished, your foreheads touching, eyes never leaving one another. You couldn’t muster any response other than a choked-sobs and a hearty laugh. 

“Baek…” you tried, your voice failed you as you voice strained.

"Marry me," He suddenly suggested. You gasp at his spur-of-the-moment question.

"y/n...." He whined, holding both of your arms as he shook them. "You don't wanna marry meeeeee?" He piped, kinda scared of your reaction now. You giggled at your boyfriend's pleading eyes,

"No silly! Of course I'd marry you! I was taken a back, that's all..." as you titter at him. "Oh God- oh God..." He exhale in relief.

"Wait, I'm grabbing a ring-pop!" He stood up, opening one of the snack cabinets, "I hope you're okay with a strawberry ring-pop for now, I mean I know you'd be but... the ring order took so damn long okay?! I pre-ordered it 9 months ago! Anyways, I hope this would do for now." He babbled away as he ripped open the rock candy from its packaging to slid the plastic ring on your finger.

"Y-you, what?" You have been taken aback by this man in the course of minutes.

"Well- I need to tie the knot at some point..?" He scratched the back of his nape as he nervously grinned. "It took longer than a baby because I custom-made it yet they kept getting the order wrong.." He huffed. At this, you kissed his cheeks, a wordless form of your gratitude.

"I love it," you professed, "I love the ring-pop, the nine-month old custom-made ring, and I love you." You continued.

“Byun Baekhyun, Baek, Baby… I-I know this because from the start, I always knew, I don’t want to settle for less. I don’t want to grow up, leave university for a job and a hand in marriage, to have kids and end my life just like that.” you held your eye contact with him.

You smiled a bit, continuing, “I want love. The really raw kind that makes my heart beats crazy every time I see your eyes. I want the love that holds my hand so I don’t walk alone. The love that embraces me in the morning, and kisses me after a long day at work. The love that burns, the love that hurts. The selfish kind of love that I never have to let go. It sounds crazy right?” 

It’s apparent that your face changes while you tell him this, it’s a thing he loves about you. He never told you but every time you rambled on something you’re passionate about, you have this glow on your face and your eyes sparkles, shining enchantedly–he’s crazy for you for that. He looks at you lovingly, giving all his attention to you. 

“Baek, I’ve always wanted someone who loves me for me. I want someone who stays, not because they couldn’t leave but because they don’t want me to be alone, I want someone who hates leaving me alone because they love me that much. It’s selfish and, I-I’m so sorry… A thousand apologies might not cut it but the way that I don’t want kids, I can’t raise kids… It’s-“ you stuttered, trying to breathe.  At this, he rubbed your back to comfort you.

“It’s too much…for me to make a decision now, about kids. But baby, you’re it. You’re the one who loves me for me and I love you for that. You still gave me a thousand reasons to stay even though I thought I needed to leave you,” you’re back to a crying mess into Baekhyun’s arms. 

“I swear Byun Baekhyun, I’ll never leave. I’ll never let you be alone. I love you so much.” you whispered, smiling, as you tightly hugged him.

He smiled back letting go of his embrace on you, “Y/n, Baby. You’ve been ‘it’ since the first time I saw you. Do you think I’ll ever let you go?” 

He held your chin to face him, as he slowly leaned in, taking you into a kiss you’ve been postponing since the last 6 months. 

“I love you so much.” he paused before passionately kissing you again.

[dilatedpupils95]

How To Lose a Friend. And a Lover.

How do you lose a friend?

You lose one when you fail to return his love. That love that has brewed since the day he met you, only for you to continuously deny and hesistantly acknowledge. That love that has always been there for you to take, but somehow one that you've always taken for granted. That love that has drawn your pencil sketch portrait and that love that has shielded you from the rain so many times.

How do you lose an ally?

You lose one when you try, with much delicateness and without intention to do so, to break his heart when you could not return his offer for an intimacy better than friendship. When he, an hour after his birthday ended, confessed his feelings for you. A "drunken" confession, he alleges, but one which was so long, detailed, and perfectly proofread only someone much sober can draft. This he did, even if he gambled the fact that he would always celebrate and mourn, respectively, on the 30th of August for his birthdate and the 31st of the same month for when he lost you.

How do you lose a comrade?

You lose one when despite him saying "I don't want happiness; I want you," you could only muster to read the words repeatedly and feel nothing but pity. When despite him confessing that you made his heart beat like crazy and his mind foggy, all you could do was take an even deeper breath, thinking how you could let him down slowly. When despite him telling you that he sometimes stares at guys, thinking that they might be better for you than he could ever be, all you could do was silently agree.

How do you lose a partner-in-crime?

You lose one when even two years after he confessed, he still does not want to talk to you. When two years after you tried with much guilt to reject his offer, he refuses to run to you when things get rough, like he used to do before. When two years after you intentionally broke your best friend's heart, he refuses to acknowledge you as his safe space, letting your messages go on seen...for months; letting your birthdays passed like mundane days, without even a text from him, even when you never fail to still greet him.

When two years after, you cannot help but think if he even really saw you as a friend before all this.

Or just that girl he fell in love with, but has rejected him since.

How do you lose a friend.. and a lover?

You lose one when one develops romantic love for someone who is supposed to be anything but a lover, and she cannot return it back.

And that's how I lost you.

And right now I just miss you.

[the-heart-break-blog]

10 movies to watch when you’re broken

1. Her (2013) dir Spike Jonze

This movie is so great and it’s soooooo tumblr. Spike Jonze is a really fabulous director and his movies are always so beautiful. This movie takes place in a somewhat futuristic version of LA and it is about Theodore, a greeting card writer who falls in love with his operating system. It is silly. Silly movies rule. You’ve totally seen these pics on tumblr.

2. Lost in Translation (2003) Dir. Sophia Coppola

Lost in Translation is a movie that, if you haven’t seen already, you have to watch like directly after Her because the directors were married and divorced in 2004. This movie is said to be reminiscent of their crumbling relationship, Spike Jonze being Bill Murray’s character and Sophia being Scarlet’s. Her is said to be Spike Jonze’s reaction to this film. ScarJo is such a bae. “A faded movie star and a neglected young woman form an unlikely bond after crossing paths in Tokyo.”

3. Lars and the Real Girl (2007) Dir. Craig Gillespie

This movie is VERY important because it has Ryan Gosling in his chubbiest, dorkiest form and that’s something everyone has to see. It follows a similar premise to Her, except instead of being in love with an OS he’s in love with a sex doll. Exciting. 

4. Blue Valentine (2010) Dir. Derek Cianfrance

This film also has Ryan Gosling in it so clearly it’s fab. This is the type of movie that leaves you thinking about every relationship in your life forever. It inter-cuts between the beginning of a marriage and the end. “You said for better or for worse. You said that. You said it. It was a promise. Now, this is my worst, okay?”

5. The Place Beyond the Pines (2013) Dir. Derek Cianfrance

OKAY! IT’S ANOTHER RYAN GOSLING FILM! I still don’t really know how I feel about this movie as a whole, but it’s really beautiful and Ryan Gosling is in his prime in this film. It’s essentially a three part movie. It also has Bradley Cooper and Dean DeHaan in it so that’s three reasons you should watch it. The cinematography is A+ also. 

6. Palo Alto (2014) Dir. Gia Coppola

Palo Alto is the type of movie that’s honestly about nothing, but I found that it’s the only film about adolescence that actually captures how it feels to be so heartbroken, confused and lost for no real reason. The cast is stunning! It has that ‘first film’ vibe as well which I think aids the film. 

7. Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012) Dir. Benh Zeitlin

Another first film for the director. Beasts of the Southern Wild is a stunning film. It’s very very emotional as well. Be prepared to cry. 

8. Moonrise Kingdom (2012) Dir Wes Anderson aka King of film

You either love Wes Anderson or you hate him. I personally love him. Moonrise Kingdom is so perfectly awkward. It’s great to watch when you’re sad because it’s funny in a way that’s not too in your face. It’s the perfect relief to your sadness.

9. Clueless (1995) Dir Amy Heckerling

After you’ve watched Moonrise, you’re ready for something light. That something light is Clueless. You can use Cher’s “as if!” attitude to get over whatever has led you to this list or to this blog. 

10. Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) Dir Wes Anderson

Another movie by king Wes. It’s the perfect quirk fest and it features Ralph Fiennes in a really quirky role which is surprising. It’s funny but not a comedy and I love it. Again, Cinematography rules.

[j-pping]

The Risk of Absence - Act III

Part of The Fault in Light collaboration with @yeoldontknow​

Story parts: Act I | Act II | Act III​​ (Final) Themes: astronaut!au; space!au; space exploration!au; themes of soulmate relationships; heavy angst; themes of abandonment; separation; romance; smut; love across age, space, and time; college sweethearts Pairing: Sehun x Fem!Reader Rating: PG13 - NC-17 for mild swearing and implied/semi-explicit sexual themes WC: ~25k (yikes!)

Oh Sehun has always been an optimist – for someone whose work so firmly plants him on the ground, he lives everyday with the stars in his eyes. He makes it easy to love him, to get swept up in his determination – he brings you along in his effortless self-assurance, and he has done so ever since the day he declared you college sweethearts.

Love and legacy, however, never guarantee the future. When he’s presented with an opportunity he can’t resist, one he’s dreamt of for as long as he’s known who he is, you both know there is only one path forward. He will not be deterred, even when distinguished professor and sole Mars mission survivor Loey Park just as fervently tries to make Sehun reconsider.

Sehun is yours, and you are his. But Mars is a demanding, punishing mistress, and you can only hope that she will allow Sehun’s return.

Reading Note: Tumblr doesn’t allow more than 10 images per post, so some of the scene headers (date/location) do not have setting images before them. Take care to note the timeline if you can!

A/N: Thank you @changshapatrol​ for the new poster! It’s finally here! I can’t believe it. Happy early birthday (and belated 10y Exoversary) to Oh Sehun :) this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever written and I love this so much – please drop a comment if you can to let me know if you enjoyed this! And this goes out to bee and planet anon, as well as all of you who sent in kind reminders to let me know you were looking forward to this as much as I was. Thank you for your patience. And of course a billion thanks to @yeoldontknow​, whose wonderful presence this weekend helped me finish this behemoth of an admittedly unedited story.

(Tagging people who were interested or betaread earlier versions: @rosetvler​ @changshapatrol​ @ako-gamboge​ @baek-byunies​ – thank you endlessly!)

Keep reading

[archernarbeta]

“I know the entire world now knows I call you my North Star because I let it slip in that one interview, but I’ve always meant it. You are not only my home, but my way home, and the point toward which my axis turns.”

[dirty]

I want a love where ending it isn’t even an option

[perfectquote]

“I don’t want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself.”

— Unknown

[surqrised]

“Go and love someone exactly as they are. then, watch how they transform into the greatest truest version of themselves. when one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.”

— Wes Angelozzi