A Coward's Daughter @archived-spinnersdaughter - Tumblr Blog

This blog is now an archive; new blog link coming soon

This blog will likely be archived this week

I’ve barely rp’d on any of my many many blogs in months for RL/mental reasons. I’ve missed it and am slowly trying to get back in.

For this muse, that means archiving this blog and starting over on a new one which, for this one, may become a multi-muse with several others.

I need to go through everything on my blogs and figure some things out but I’m hoping to have everything settled by next week or so if all goes well.

#official hiatus/redo notice #ooc #stay tuned!

mattlewis-deactivated20160818

I guess what really forms you as a person, is what you do within your family to receive love or attention. In my family, what you had to do to receive attention was to have good conversation at the dinner table or for me to do well at school, and those were really my focuses because that was what was valued the most

#fc

thecursedspinnerofold

Show Them the Pain

No one understood the pain he felt inside. No one ever had either. Not when he was a kid or a spinner, and certainly not now that he was the Dark One. Again. No one seemed to get any of it. No one seemed to understand him in the slightest. Maybe no one could. Maybe no one could understand what he’d been through in his three hundred years of existence, of being the Dark One. But he was so sick and tired of no one getting it, of all the pain. The emotional pain that was.

Which was what gave him the idea. It was a terrible, horrible idea, but he’d run out of good ideas to try. So here he sat now, a knife in his hand. No his dagger of course. He wasn’t that stupid. Just a knife. And that was the beauty of being immortal. He couldn’t hurt himself too badly. Just enough to distract from the pain of his heart.

So he moved the knife, slowly, tentatively, until it rested on the skin of his right arm. He hadn’t really registered that the knife was in his left hand until now, and it made him want to laugh. Hurt his right arm to match his right leg. But he didn’t stop. No, he applied pressure until the skin broke underneath the sharp edge of the knife.

And then he pulled back, watching the blood with a bit of fascination as it dripped from the knife and ran out of his shallow cut. And then he made another, and another, not thinking about stopping, just relishing in the pain that distracted him from the pain he felt inside. And he was so intent on his task, that he didn’t even notice when someone else walked in.

archived-spinnersdaughter

No. This was not something she had ever wanted or meant to see, but she could barely will her legs to move.

The floorboard creaked as she took a step back. Busted, at least if he turned around.

“Papa?”

#thecursedspinner #blood tw #self harm tw #au verse #[pick a verse any verse]

thecursedspinnerarchive-blog

@spinnersdaughter

He had just laid in bed this morning, unable to make himself get up when he normally did. Though he was up now. And dressed. But he wouldn’t have time for breakfast. Not that it mattered. He wasn’t that hungry. “Sorry I’m running behind Bonnie,” he told her softly. “Let’s get you to school now.”

archived-spinnersdaughter

She smiled over at him from where she had been waiting on the couch. "It's alright, Papa," she replied as she tried to mask her worry. They still had plenty of time before she had to be in school, but this was the third time this week he had been staying in bed later than usual. "Can we please stop by the diner on our way? There's still time," she put in, trying to ease the mood.

#thecursedspinner #depression tw

“Don’t give me that. I give myself a hard enough time already. Harder than you could possibly imagine so PLEASE just leave me alone.”

“Alright, I’ll go. I was just trying to understand how you thought that would help get us out of here.”

#thecursedson #twin verse

angstmemes

Realistic Depression/Mental Illness Starter Sentences

“You can at least pretend to be happy.” “Why didn’t you tell anyone what you were going through?” “You did this to yourself?” “Hey, hey. Calm down, okay? What got you in such a state?” “Do you need help? Professional help?” “Well, to me it just looks like you’re being lazy.” “You can’t be afraid of everything. I bet you’re just doing this to be interesting.” “Why do you always want to have all the attention? Everyone gets depressed. Get over it.” “You’re going to have to get over yourself sometime soon. You can’t just sit around doing nothing forever.” “You just take some meds and it’s gone, right? Don’t be so difficult.” “You’re trying to tell me you’re one of those crazy people? Don’t be ridiculous, you’re fine!” “You look much better today! Are you feeling better?” “Why have you been hiding this for years?” “You could’ve told me you felt like this.” “Trust me, I hate myself more than you do, so yelling at me really isn’t going to change anything!” “Do you ever think of, you know, ending it…? You need to be honest with me.” “Stop making everything about you all the time. You’re so selfish.” “Is there anything you don’t have difficulty with? You’re being so precious.” “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.” “I can tell you you’re not alone, because I’ve felt like this too.” “You’re being so hard on yourself.” “I don’t know why I do it. The pain just stops me from feeling so empty for a while.” “You tried to kill yourself…? When?! Oh god…” “I don’t think I will get better. I felt the same five years ago and I’ve spoken to plenty of therapists in the meantime. I think it’s just a part of who I am.” “What are you feeling?” “Don’t give me that. I give myself a hard enough time already. Harder than you could possibly imagine so PLEASE just leave me alone.” “I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better, so maybe you should just let me hug you for a while?”

#meme

roleplaymmemes

Please tell me anonymously or not why you follow me. I could use some positive messages

beauteespoir

un. deux. trois. quatre.

#promo

zeldahakuba-blog

Send “You have to come out at some point!” for my muse to lock themselves inside their bedroom and refuse to come out.

thecursedspinnerarchive-blog

'a moment of weakness' [spinnersdaughter]

19. Your muse falls very ill and continues activities even if they seem on the verge of passing out. @spinnersdaughter

He noticed how tired and just not well she seemed and if he had to guess he’d say she was sick. And there was know what hee was letting his little girl wander around sick all the time. “Bonnie, I think you should get back to bed,” he told her gently as he came to stand next to her.

archived-spinnersdaughter

She looked up with tired eyes from the notebook in her lap. “I can’t, I have a huge test tomorrow I have to study more for.” She didn't feel that great but she couldn't afford to miss this test.

#thecursedspinner

orphanis

mimosano:

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.