fateviled as chaol westfall.
in a way, the world has not stopped shattering continuously these past few months. the feelings that pass through him as he sees her are a tangled web of contradictions; grief, guilt, anger, devotion. all tightly rolled into one, all bearing her name in gold threaded stitching. standing in a place that he understands has never been home to either of them, chaol can feel the distance between them. he’s unsure of what to do, unable to step forward as he swallows hard; he fights the wave of confusion that wraps over him. she’d betrayed everything he’d sworn loyalty to, and what’s worse was that he couldn’t blame her. but it mattered, or it should have mattered.
his eyes scan her face in a feeble attempt to make sense of his own heart. ( as if that’s ever been easy. ) he takes a step forward, finally, wanting to close some of that distance, wanting— “genya.” his voice is gentle, a softness he had only reserved for her for too long now. “admired is not the world i would give, and that doesn’t matter to me.” he doesn’t let himself hesitate as he takes another step, then another, until there’s nothing between them. a cautious hand reaches out to touch her face, only faltering at the last second, silently asking for permission. chaol knows what the final feeling in his chest is, and he will not run from it. “i always want to, whatever you’re willing to give. i’m yours.” there was nothing else, no other way; his heart had been hers long before he could comprehend.
the tailor is prepared for his words to sting. inhaling a sharp breath, weighing the options. he could become scared of her, scared of the ruined girl, scared of the horror she looks like now. he could be mad that she had betrayed the crown, the crown and her friend. what didn’t that say about her ? and he didn’t even know it all. no one knew what she had been doing to the king. how him falling ill had been her fault, how she had poisoned her lips and skin, so that every time he would hurt her . . . she would hurt him back. even if he didn’t know. that had been what she had been given for years as a doll. as nothing more than a plaything for the king, the queen and her ladies. but never to chaol. and now she was facing him, prepared for the worst.
except when chaol speaks, he doesn’t spew poison. he embraces her with that gentle tone, the tone that would’ve made her run away with him. a tone in voice that would’ve made her do anything. and she regrets it. not doing more with him. not telling him everything that really mattered. instead she stands in front of him, ruined and scarred. body freezes when his hand moves to touch her. breath holds as her eye glaces down at his hand. but she takes a step closer, into the touch of his hand, confirming with a small nod. if chaol was not running, she wouldn’t be either. “ i cannot be loyal to the king, chaol. ” she whispers. for some reason, she expects this to be an issue. he was the captain, the king and his family had given him that title, that trust. genya wasn’t sure she could trust anyone in that cursed family. “ i understand it, chaol. if you cannot be mine. but i have always - ” a deep breath as she places a hand on his chest. feeling the thudding of his beating heart. how she wanted to press her head against his chest and hear it beat just for herself. even if just for a couple of seconds. “ i have always been yours. ”
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