살인자

[arcxjoon]

[arcxjoon]

my thoughts lead back to you ;; miyoung & joon

[arcxjoon]

anger bubbled up in miyoung’s throat and stung her eyes. he didn’t bother responding, giving her a simple look and turning from her with a simple twist. as if he had no struggle to do so. she knew why—she was the one responsible for it. and the fact that she broke him in a way beyond repair left her stirring in the middle of the night. all those nightmares she spent years fending away came back to her, with vicious revenge. this time, they were not of a man who touched her aimlessly and broke her skin. this time it was always joon, with hate filled eyes and a mouth twisted with revulsion. the same mouth that coated hers all that time ago, the same that sought to save her but never stood a chance against her demons. try as he may, he could never drown them. no, her demons learned how to swim.

all the nightmares he had protected her against, collapsing her in between his arms and locking her away—he was now what they consisted of.

“god damn it joon.” she sighed, her voice breaking. everything within her, breaking.

she was frustrated, though at what she wasn’t sure. maybe at the world, for putting her here. or maybe at joon, for showing her a side she never wished to see. or herself, for breaking the one male who loved her.

but she was dirty.

dirty dirty dirty

and dirty girls shouldn’t toy with boys who are clean. boys aren’t so broken and still smile like the sun. no—dirty girls only play with dirty boys. dirty girls sit alone and rot while the world around them fall in and out of love like it’s some game.

she swallowed, hard, running a hand through her tangled man and giving her hair a pull. a reminder this isn’t another nightmare or dream or a figment of her twisted imagination. “please, joon just—“ she reached out to him, grabbing hold of his wrist

she wanted to explain, wanted to share each and every aching thought that swirled through her head like a storm. but she knew he wouldn’t listen. she regretted grabbing him but her pride played in, and she held fast.

there was nothing she could say or do. nothing at all. he didn’t listen to her pleas then, and he wouldn’t listen now. he wasn’t her joon anymore. he wasn’t anyone to her—he wasn’t supposed to be of course. he was a shell, with a cold gaze that set her skin on ice.

a soft whimper left her lips, small streams of tears finding their way down her cheeks. “please, joon.”

it was a plea—end her life. listen to her. stay. something.

anything.

                        please don’t go.

Ready to leave, his eyes set on the door and going and getting the fuck out of there as fast as he could. Already making a choice that he was going to drown this memory in a bottle whiskey and end his life quicker by smoking two packs of cigarettes that night instead of his usual five that he'd normally smoke in a night. His arm burned after a second, the grip of pallid fingers wrapping around his bicep and halting him.

Time froze. Everything felt like cold, and he felt numb - Shifting the weight on his feet and blacking out to his actions. Pulling his arm from her hand and holding onto her shoulders, with a great force he shoved her back against the book shelves. Growling fiercely when the bookshelves shook behind her, a couple falling to the ground - but he didnt care. 

"Who said you could touch me?!" His voice was loud and threatening, angry as he snarled. His chest started to heave trying to collect his breath. "Who gave you the permission.." His voice cracked, deceived him and revealing the raw emotions he was feeling. Hurt, and exposed in its most stripped down form. 

His hand shot out, cupping behind her neck and pulling her face forward his nose brushing against the tip of hers. "To hurt me like that, without even a kiss goodbye?" Pulling her forward by her neck and firmly pressing his lips against her own in an aggressive collision. It was impulsive and he put absolutely no thought behind his actions, because at that moment he wasnt thinking clearly. 

More with his heart than he was with his head, her lips were warm and they tasted the way he remembered - soft and plump.

[arcxjoon]

I need more plots. CRIES. I think tumblr ate a few, because i know i had some interesting plots in talks but my inbox is empty so if i didnt respond to somebody tumblr ate it :c Like this or suffer me invading and seducing your inbox ; n ; 

[arcxjoon]

What if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat. I'll be the fire that'll catch you. What's so good about picking up the pieces? None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.

[arcxjoon]

[arcxjoon]

my thoughts lead back to you ;; miyoung & joon

[antxmiyoung-deactivated20150906]

flickers of anger heated her cheeks, not at him, but at the world and their cruel fate. she had often, back in the day where their love was simple and pure and not a thing of heartache, saw their lives entangled, the red string of fate tying them together. and this was proof that was no lie. it had been years since she last saw him but he always came back to her, by will or by force.  why, why did the world torture them so? was it not enough to rip them apart? no, it had to give them time to heal. time to believe everything was fine and that they were going to be okay. and then it acted like a knife, digging deep into scabs that had yet to scar and reopening years’ worth of wounds.

“i should be asking you that.” her frustration leaked into her tone, her words sharp beneath the quiver of her lip. her face betrayed her though, her features broken and pleading. pleading for what though? “im working. or i was until you decided to throw a knife to my throat.”

her eyes drifted to the blade in its resting place on the ground. she swallowed hard, heart rate flat lining. she didn’t want to die, to be honest. but who really did? that stage of her life was gone, pushed aside with her memories to collect dust in the corners of her mind. she didn’t want to go back to that, back to the nights spent in shivering fear, her sobs soaking the pillow beneath her cheeks.

she wondered if she was the reason why he was here. clearly he didn’t know she was his target, and clearly he was a hitman. for what team though? and why were they after her? she was a simple girl with a computer. and as of recent she had be laying low, all her efforts being focused on taking out the police force.

“so,” she sighed, fighting to breathe. each gasp of air burned her lungs, and she felt like she was swimming in kerosene. “why are you here?”

[arcxjoon]

Things weren't supposed to end up like this, it was a simple mission with a simple task to kill a simple person. It was everything but that. Somewhere in between fighting back tears and wanting to scream he forgot how to breath, literally gasping for a breath of air after a lingering minute or so. It was painful and also embarrassing to actually gasp for a breath because of the sight of someone. Of all the people in this entire world why did he have to see her again? Her presence brought such a destructive cohesion of emotions that he was actually getting light headed from all of them pushing forward all at once.

He wasnt going to just tell her why he was there, it was pretty self explanatory at this point. Seeing her was sickening in many ways, and it only added to it knowing she was part of a gang that was an enemy to his. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He wasnt the same person now than he was back then by any means. He was a lot meaner, his conscious wasnt as vocal as it use to be, hell -- if it were anyone else beneath that blade their body would have been on the ground right now.

Fuck. 

  Fuck this.

       I cant do this

                but i have too.

But he wasnt going too, he knew that no matter how many ways he tried to justify it in his head, there was a shield around her that was formed and designed by his heart and his emotions. 

He couldn't lay a finger on her and he knew it.

His nostrils flared and his jaw was clenched tightly, he couldn't answer her, he wasnt going too. Breaking his gaze, he couldn't bring himself to look back up at her. It was disgusting -- she was disgusting. She abandoned him, left him like he was nothing so why couldn't he do the same? His feet were glued to the floor with what felt like steel, but he forced himself too - because he was hurting himself more than he was hurting her.

She didnt care - why was she pretending like she did? the way her lip trembled, and how her broken her eyes looked. Fuck her. Conflicted by the voices screaming in his head, making anything else such as things that were rational -- inaudible. He forced his feet to move, turning his back to her for the first time in his entire life. He couldn't do it.

                                                           He refused too. 

[arcxjoon]

there is no beauty in the break down || hwang miyoung & lee joon { past }

[antxmiyoung-deactivated20150906]

she scowled at him—giving a small huff of protest before turning to her food. this time she ate slowly, her lessons from the days of luxury coming to mind. sit straight, back erect, always eat starting with the fork closest to you, napkin in lap—

the thought of her father left her chest feeling vacant and hollow. while others may have taken his betrayal with a glass of rage, miyoung simply missed him. he was cruel and cold but he was a father no less, and he was the only world she had known for seventeen years. briefly she wondered if he was happy, if he was enjoying his new son. if everything was alright.

her thoughts were fleeting, and she shooed them away. why was it her mind always seemed to dabble in the darkest corners of her thoughts, she never understand. it was like a home to her, and it was the first place she found herself venturing to when she had nothing to say.

“if you keep up your snarky attitude lee joon,” she shot him a brief flicker of a smile. “you won’t have to be cooking for me very long.”

she laughed then, breaking the glare on features. her eyes upturned, lips pulled into a wide grin and shoulders heaving as she giggled. the idea of them being apart was so ludicrous. it was something she never once considered, even on her dampest nights. she always seemed to picture herself next to him. the future was uncertain but lee joon had always seemed permanent to her—set in stone, their fated red strings entangled for the rest of their lives.

she beamed at him. “we both know that im a liar.” her hand found his arm, palm resting against the warmth of his skin, taking in the feel of him against her. it was a comfort, a light in a series of dark clouds that hung overhead. her heart swelled and she moved close to him, forgetting about her food for once and scooting to his side. she rested her head against his arm, because she was much too short to reach his shoulder, and nuzzled the bridge of her nose against his biceps. “you’re stuck with me, okay?”

[arcxjoon]

He rolled his eyes -- her threats towards him were as harmless as a gun that had no bullets. She was more of a quirt gun, slightly annoying but you could always dry off and continue on. A life without her by his side was very unlikely and something his mind didnt allow him to think that way, because he was sure if he imagined a life without Miyoung he wouldn't be the same man by any means. He would probably be more careless with his life, more hateful. Not the person he was right now at this moment.

Nodding as his eyes dropped down to her, carefully watching as she made herself come closer to him; It was a rarity that she was the first to give affection, for reasons he wasnt sure of.  Every time she was the one to initiate - well... it made his heart melt and his stomach flutter. It was happening more frequently now, and he appreciated it just as much as if it were the very first time. 

His skin felt like it was on fire with every gentle graze of her skin on his, raising the hairs on his arms and a pooling warmth through his chest. These moments when she wasnt tense, and willingly let herself be close to him. If only she would let him get as close as he wanted, it was on his mind a lot. It wasnt the most important thing in the world to him - but he wanted to cherish her with more than just words and kisses here and there. 

Wanting - no, Craving to touch more of her - all of her, even. There were nights where he would lay next to her in bed, his finger tips gently caressing up and down the side of her arm just the way she liked... soothing her so she could sleep with ease, since it always seemed to be a struggle. Her eyes would be closed, and her breathing was light - so he would stop and her eyes would open and look up at him with a look that just... broke him. He would roll his eyes and continue to do it, and she would smile - her eyes in half crescents and then close them again.

Sometimes he felt like he fell asleep before she did, because every time he stopped she would look up at him with puppy dog eyes and shed push her bottom lip out. Some of those nights he just wanted to sink down in the bed sheets and pull her in against him, feel her bare form against his own. To love her in a way that he has never loved anyone, because it would actually be with love - not just for pleasure alone. 

So moments when she initiated affection, were moments he truly treasured and they always brought a smile to his face. A different one than normal. "Okay.." his voice came out as a whisper, smiling down at her with a smile that was only meant for her. His palm raising and gently stroking along her face, placing stray strands of hair snug behind her ear. 

[arcxsooyeon]

-- ❝ you got some nerve ❞

[arcxsooyeon]

she smiles — an action so cruel and vile, sooyeon wonders just how long she’ll be able to have this game continue. she hums, and crosses her arms, licking her lips as she steps closer and closer. 

"a promise, of course." she taps her mouth with a finger, tilting her head at him. she’s going to enjoy this — thoroughly. "i suppose if all goes…awry. it could be used as a threat." she cocks a brow at him, her smile turning playful. "don’t even tease the idea — i can and will fuck you over if i need to."

sooyeon claps her hand, turning her smile less vindictive and into a more happy, carefree one. it feels foreign on her face, used to scowls and snarls of every which kind. “ah, great! i’m glad we could negotiate. now, let’s see.” she clicks her tongue, jutting out her lips into a pout as she thinks. biting her lip, she tilts her head further, her smile turning coy.

"i’m hungry." she places her hands on her hips, jutting one portion of her body out to the side as she raises her brows. "buy me food."

[arcxjoon]

Unsure of when this would end, in the back of his mind -- he had hoped that after a couple days she would be bored, and grow tired of this game she was playing and release him from her clutches. But it was more of  a hope than it was an assumption. He would be her little play thing but he wouldn't let go of his pride, he wouldn't give her the love of knowing he was miserable. And that if he could -- he would snap her neck. 

"Of course, princess." he hummed, swallowing down all the anger that seemed to build up in the back of his throat like bile, choking it down for the sake of pride. She wasnt allowed to know he hated it, she wanted to appear happy and content with this situation. She wouldn't win, and he would be the last one laughing. Or so he had hoped. "Anywhere you want." spoken through a tensely clenched jaw. 

Impulsively, he shot his hand down and laced his fingers with her own. Gripping her hand with a tight hold, and continued to swallow down thoughts and different courses of action. This was his only good plan that had a good out come, if he had to play the boyfriend roll for a couple days then so be it. "where to?" 

[arcxjoon]

[arcxjoon]

Quality Over Quantity

[ctzbaek]

  (/ he cringes just a little when the words escape joon’s lips, guilt weighing down his shoulders and a sadness in his eyes.  he wasn’t expecting anything less of the curiosity, not when he left so suddenly [without a goodbye] but he just frowns.  swallows.  his eyes flick down to the way his fingers are being toyed with, and usually this kind of contact would have him running in the span of a millisecond but this is joon and joon is safe and he has to remind himself that it’s okay. ) i’m — .. i’m sorry …. (/ his voice comes out in a whisper, licks his lips.  this is not what he wanted to deal with today, not when he wanted to lay in bed and mourn his losses and his own stupidity — but joon drops his hands, and baekhyun knows that he’s done something wrong.  he always does something wrong. ) … (/ he tries not to let the tears well up in his eyes.  he tries to force himself to look up into joon’s eyes, but the guilt still eats away at him, still weighs his shoulders down and he presses his fingers into his sides. ) … … yeah .. i’m fine .    i’m so sorry .. 

[arcxjoon]

( ' His lips tugged into a smaller smile, his heart hurt from the distress that was painted along Baekhyuns features that were just shy of pure perfection, that perfection would have been met if the other had perhaps smiled a bit more ' ) I didnt come to see you to make you feel bad... ( ' The smile faded, to grow into a larger one. In hopes that maybe it would pull a smile from the other. ' ) Baek stop. ( ' His hand reached out, his hand cupping the side of his face, his thumb ready to wipe away any tears that were tempted to fall. He felt his own guilt start to fester ' ) Dont be sorry okay? i just want to know you're fine. Thats all. ( ' He promised, his thumb grazing along Baekhyuns cheek ' ) Smile, please? 

[arcxsooyeon]

-- ❝ you got some nerve ❞

[arcxsooyeon]

she loves the feeling of being superior; the power she has over him. it makes a feeling bubble in her chest — it’s euphoric, it’s orgasmic. sooyeon is an abundance of feelings and it’s all centering around the fact because she’s got him wrapped around her finger.

his grip on her wrist is tight — not painful, but too tight for comfort. she narrows her eyes and her lip twists back into a snarl. but before she can toss out an insult of sorts, a command — he’s loosening, and his smile is much more pliant.

she tenses at the kiss, and her eyes flicker all over the features of his face. calculating — watching, waiting. she’s waiting for any signs of snapping, anything that implies he’s going to back down. pursing her lips, she pulls her hand back with a snap of her wrist, glaring at him for a moment as she drops her hand to her side.

"i’m glad you understand." her tone is clipped, and she’s averting her gaze briefly. "i assure you. i’m not all that bad you know — you scratch my back, i scratch yours. okay?" she smiles, abrupt and shortly. her hand stretches forward, cupping the pint of his chin as her thumb presses against his lower lip — and a small chuckle that’s a bit more condescending slips out. "i’ll treat you nice. so nicely — you’ll never want to leave." her voice is a chirp, high pitched and happy. her head tilts to the side as her eyes turn to little moons with her grin. 

— and then its wiped off her face, gone is the sweet and serene, and here lies a wicked witch. baring her teeth, she hums in his general direction. “do we have a deal? i hope so. i wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you…or your little weakspot.” she shoots him a grin that’s far too cocky, far too vain. 

[arcxjoon]

Losing his grip on her, he straightened his composure and rolled his shoulders to possibly relieve tension, but the source wasnt within him and purely radiating off of her. He is given no choice but to calm himself down and relax beneath her grip, he would have to play along to her every demand. Truly it made him sick to his stomach, the way her lips twisted into that smile that only she could make. 

"Is this a threat, or a promise i wonder?" allowing his muscles to finally relax as he tilted his head, biting at his lower lip taking a step forward to minimize the gap between the two of them. He would play her games for now, maybe in some way she would get bored of him, but one could only hope for it to go in his favor. His blatant disrespect for her over the years had easily been noticed since her acts were so vindictive. 

"Of course we do." his brow twitching at another subtle mention of Miyoung, he wanted to slap her smile off of her face - turn it into something with a little more fear, he could kill her right now - over power her in a second. But the higher ups who were actually worth something would not be very fond of such an action, and he would meet the same fate. "Where should we start?" 

[arcxjoon]

[arcxsooyeon]

-- ❝ you got some nerve ❞

[arcxsooyeon]

she grins — she loves the way his face hardens and shifts just slightly, the smallest bits of change that she knows is getting to him. clearing her throat, she crosses her arms and licks her lips as she stares him down, eyebrows raised and smile too smug to be considered okay.

— truth be told, she wouldn’t do a damn thing to the girl, even if he had disagreed. she cares not for his supposed target — that’s not her job description. the fact of the matter is that lee changsun came waltzing in here with no respect towards her whatsoever.

the thought had her eye twitching, but the feeling is too great when he speaks — and she hears the slow submitting. it’s too much — and her happiness is practically bubbling over her form. sighing, she shrugs her shoulder as she holds her arms up in a nonchalant fashion.

"don’t sound so upset. it’s not that big of a price." she laughs, eyes disappearing into crescents as she moves closer to him, her smile turning coy and scathing. pausing in front of him, she reaches out — and lets her fingers graze the swell of his cheek in the softest of touches. "it’s not bad at all. it could be much, much worse." her voice has dropped to that of a lower octave, slow and purposeful.

sliding her hand from his cheek, she wraps it around the base of his neck, using her fingertips to tangle into the ends of his hair as she tugs it lightly. chuckling, she shoots him a grin. “all you have to do — is be a good little boy, and do whatever i say.” her tone sounds much too happy, and her eyes are just a bit too triumphant. “does that sound easy enough for you, changsun-ah?” sooyeon practically purrs his name, rolling it off her lips with the softest of breaths.

[arcxjoon]

The feeling of her fingers against his skin felt like fire, stiffening beneath her touch and swallowing down every urge to smack her disgusting bony fingers away from his face. She was taking pleasure in his faint glimmer of weakness, stabbing and turning the knife - and then rubbing the salt in his wound. There was no situation where this would be better, any pretty feature on her face had turned into something vile, she was pulling on his nerves one string.

His hand rose and his fingers latched around her small dainty wrist, anger building more in his eyes and being swallowed down bringing her wrist down. Pressing his lips into a straight tight line he knew this was going to be far worse than just slightly irritating, being forced to submit to her in exchange for Miyoungs life. He only regretted her existence in his life more in that second, and he would never even have to be in this situation.  He was already failing at the task, forcing his grip to loosen on her wrist, he could have broken it if he wanted too.

Forcing out a smirk to break along his stiff jaw line, moving his fingers to grip her hand in a more gentle manner. His eyes had locked on hers before bringing her knuckles to his lips, planting a gentle kiss against her palm with a brow raised. "Of course not, princess." he pressed another kiss against the top of her hand, before releasing it. It hurt his pride - but he didnt want her to see that, giving her a smile that showed his teeth. 

[arcxsooyeon]

-- ❝ you got some nerve ❞

[arcxjoon]

arcxsooyeon:

 The entire wait of the rest of the hour is spent blankly staring at her phone, going through various messages and the like. she has to have something occupying her time, otherwise she’s going to get testy — and she’s going to get angry. she clicks her tongue, and snorts at the little things she reads, the gossip bits, the truths and rumors and opinions.

it’s two minutes before her designated time — and she jerks lightly at the sound of oncoming feet. her gaze flickers up, and there she meets the eyes of none other than lee changsun — her designated victim of the day. clicking her tongue, she sighs and pockets her phone. pushing herself off the wall, she crosses her arms and pinpoints a glare at him, pressing her tongue on her cheek as she raises a brow. 

"i’m glad you made it on time, and with a minute to spare." her tone is nonchalant, but her stare is anything but. taking a few languid steps towards him, she assesses him, an appraising look on her features as a small chuckles leaves her lips.

"lee changsun," she calls, her tone having the slightest bit of amusement seeping through. "you’re a hitman — correct?" she doesn’t wait for an answer, merely continuing on with an exaggerated sigh. "you sure don’t act like it. i don’t think i’ve ever seen hitmen in the arcanum fuck up like this before. normally, they’re all for knocking out their target. and yet here you are," she pauses in her trek, turning her head to stare at him. her smile turns whimsical, mocking almost. "…you. who couldn’t kill one pathetic little bitch with a computer."

she kicks out her foot, knocking away a trash can that was on the ground. the sound reverberating from it is loud and deafening in the alley,  but sooyeon pays no mind to it. 

"i wonder, i wonder," she sings, her smile twisting and turning into something more sinful, more wicked. "…since you’re so incompetent to deliver such an easy kill, perhaps — i should be the one to do it?" she turns her body to face is completely, clasping her hands together as she grins at him. "i won’t make the mistake of letting her go. in fact — i’ll make sure the death is twice as painful and twice as dirty." she spits out. "…as the one you planned to give."

and so sooyeon smiles, a twisted and vile one — full of sinister intent. “what should i do, pretty boy? should i take care of your target for you…” she steps closer to him, softening her smile. “…or should i ignore it? but i’ll warn you. ignoring it comes with a small price.”

He had gotten to her in a subtle way that would easily be dismissed in a matter of seconds,rolling his eyes to her rhetorical question being lectured wasnt something he was fond of, he wasnt a child. Jung Sooyeon had dove in head first into a pool of insults, sinking her claws into his skin and latching onto him with her last few words. His featured started to harden, clenching his jaw tightly. She seemed to know what to say to grab a hold on his attention, and couldn't gather how she could have found out. But she had suddenly made it to the top of his list of people he despised.

He broke eye contact, which was probably the first mistake he could have made. He could feel his heart drop into his stomach, and nasuea build in the back of his throat, but he had to bare with the sudden wave of emotions that werent even supposed to exist. He didnt want Miyoung to be harmed, there was no way he would allow it without putting up some type of fight. He lost her once and he wasnt sure if he could take losing her again to some bitch that carried a title that held no true meaning, it just so happen she had the right cards in her heads to cause him to crumble, for now.

"What kind of price." he mumbled through a clenched jaw, curling his fingers into a tight fist turning his knuckles white. There were no other options, he couldnt have Miyoungs blood on his hands, she could leave him ten thousand times over and he could deal with the heart ache over and over again before her death was on his hands.

[arcxjoon]

\o/ updated relationships page 

[nowordsareneeded]

26/∞ pictures of the stripping pabo

[arcxjoon]

Liquid Courage

There hadn't seemed to be anything off about a this particular night, in fact it was very boring. It was one of those nights where nothing good was on TV and there was nothing to do when it came to work, it was just quiet and the gift of life that was supposed to be fun and exciting had easily disappointed. It was a quarter till ten and out of the boredom he felt his eyelids becoming rather heavy, and decided that he would probably call it a night early. 

The tip of his tongue swept over his top lip, shuffling forward to his kitchen and reaching for a glass and filling it with water. Putting the glass to his lips and taking in the cold liquid soothing his overly dry throat, his favorite beverage before resting - to give his stomach something so he didnt have late night cravings at an inconvenient time. 

Finishing and placing it into the sink, but the silence had been disrupted with the loud knocks that emitted from his door, there wasnt the slightest idea as to who it would have possibly been and it somewhat put him at edge, who would be coming over to his home this late? and uninvited at that.

Biting the inside of his cheek he headed towards the door and swinging it open, his once furrowed brows and face twisted in an angry expression had quickly turned into one more of shock and more soft. "Baek?" confused was the only thing that could describe the situation.