Uncle Ardyn, Master Thief

Party member AU Ardyn Izunia, Ask and RP blog. (Side blog of AgentJaselin.)

[ardynzunia]

Which LoTR Poem are You?

All of Tom Bombadil's songs

You're larger than life, and people either love you or hate you. You're never really paying attention to what's going on, and you're always making puns at the wrong moment, and it seems like you don't take things seriously enough, but you're also somehow the one who ends up having to sort everything out. You're the weird uncle friend. Bright blue your jacket is, and your boots are yellow. ~ Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling! Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling. Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight, Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight, There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter, Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water. Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing? Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o, Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o! Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away! Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day. Tom's going home again water-lilies bringing. Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing? [etc.]

[puddraws]

Ascian Hyth AU hurts sooooo good. he should've been Solus' chief magitek engineer

[never-surrender]

open starter

Somebody had done something to the person that was close to her, and that was not going to fly. Rubbing their back in soothing motions to try and comfort them as best as possible, Emma took a deep breath through her nose to calm the simmering rage that threatened to boil over. "Who did this to you?" she asked, her voice deceptively calm.

[ardynzunia]

Adan blinked slowly and put a calming hand on his dog Cerberus, startled slightly by Emma's appearance. He'd drifted off for a bit, waiting for food promised by the one who'd commissioned him to hunt Dual-horn meat in the first place. An apology on top of his pay.

"It was an animal," He explained. "I was told it looked like I was punched."

Besides the black-eye and bruises adorning his face, he had several bruised ribs. It was not good to lose sight of an angry animal sporting large horns. It was the merchant that said he looked like he'd been mugged.

[somnus-lucis-caelum]

“Don’t talk like that about Aera.”, was Somnus curt reply. What had gotten into Ardyn? Sure, he usually was very… uncouth in the way he spoke and acted. But that was a new low, even for him.

Continuing his work, it was easier to focus and trying to stay calm when he got something to do with his hands now that Ardyn had decided to grate his already thinly laid out nerves.

“Let’s say I entertain your idea for a moment. I go and hold a speech at the last village we went through. You remember that, right? We had to separate and weed through the population and about one third was infected. We had to eliminate the Daemons. Now I return there and give flowers and empty-sounding words to the families? You know what they will want to do with me? Stringing me up on a tree would be the best outcome.”

[ardynzunia]

That line snapped Ardyn out of his own mind for a bit. A blank look on his face that suggested he thought Somnus was an idiot. Did his brother just not listen to gossip at all? He gestured to his chest to explain.

"I'm the whore," He said flatly. "Aera has not been mentioned. Did you never look up my reputation?"

He got up and followed Somnus along. His mood was flattening out enough he could think a little straighter again.

"Going backwards probably isn't an option," He admitted. "maybe send some people to help rebuild and make it clear it was your idea though? We could work in memorials as part of the plan going forward. Talk about freeing their families and help the uninfected grieve after the ugly parts are done. Don't just leave them to do all the work themselves. Maybe hire some people as plants? To spy on what people need and spread rumors that we want spread."

[somnus-lucis-caelum]

He did not like Ardyn’s tone. Not one bit. Narrowing his eyes as Ardyn yapped on, Somnus hissed and hit his brother’s hands away when he was grabbing him by the shoulders.

He did not like being corrected in these matters. It was hard enough. And somehow Ardyn thought he had it all figured out. Ardyn knew so little.

“Really?! You think a few flowers and platitudes would change opinions about me? You must be blind! And deaf! Speeches from you, your kills to quell unrest, your problems of dealing with the people – why don’t you go and be king if you know everything so much better than I do?”

[ardynzunia]

"Oh yes I'm sure everyone wants a Thief and a Whore in leadership," He laughed bitterly.

Ardyn was ready to tear his hair out. Didn't Somnus understand that he just wanted to help? He swore to all the gods duty and royal titles rotted people's brains.

"I'm not saying it will fix everything okay? I'm just saying we need to look at the problem from every side." He said. "You're my brother Somnus, and you were my friend before we knew that. I want you to be safe, and I want Aera to be safe, and I want all this to be over with as little blood shed on my families part as possible!"

He flopped down on the nearest raised surface and dug the heals of his hands into his eyes. He was so damn tired of being responsible. He loved Aera, and he loved his brother. But sometimes he wished he was still living score to score with no one to worry about but himself.

[somnus-lucis-caelum]

Making it painless. Talking the families through it. Somnus agreed with the first one, but the second?

“Most of the families need to be gone, too, they are already infected too. We can not just do half of the duty. If we allow those to run who are already infected but not showing symptoms, the Starscourge will continue to spread causing more grief and death.”

It was a horrible but simple equation.

It was hard enough carrying that out. So why now did Ardyn think he should speak to everyone about it? That would only cause more problems.

“You are naïve, Ardyn. No one will listen. It will only cause them to fight against me, when I try to help them. The people like you, they hate me. It has always been that way. I made my peace with that, you should, too.”

[ardynzunia]

Ardyn rolled his eyes. Leave it to Somnus, stubborn as always.

"Not everyone is infected just for being in proximity. Your soldiers are proof of that, my taking care of my mother until she died is proof of that." He argued. "and you might disapprove of Aera's methods, but she can tell if someone's infected symptoms or no. A power that can be shared. If you kill based on assumptions you aren't going to have any citizens left Somnus."

He wasn't unsympathetic of Somnus' view. There were definitely towns he'd been with on Aera's side that were beyond hope, that he'd quietly sent notes to Gilgamesh to because an army was the only option. Still, people were at the end of their tether, and they needed to mitigate the damage.

"No, you are naïve if you think you can bury yourself in duty and ignore your reputation without consequence!" He said. "Do you know how many people I've killed to quell unrest? Half the citizens are ready to string you up in the nearest tree and I'm exhausted from dealing with it."

He grabbed his brother by the shoulders, trying to make his point clear. He swallowed and tried to keep the acid out of his voice.

"I know how hard it is Somnus. But they need their king to be more than a sword." He said, "It's all bullshit, but flowers and a couple platitudes about the gods could mean a lot. I'll write the speeches if you need. Just promise me to try it, okay?"

[ardynzunia]

@somnus-lucis-caelum  “No.”

It was a quick response. Almost too fast, in fact. But Somnus had a reputation to uphold – and a duty. He slayed those that were too far gone. To save others. Once infected there was little hope – his brother, of course, thought he knew better. But Somnus knew that his healing could never outpace the infection. And it weakened him.

Still, he slowed in his work at cleaning blood of his leather armour.

“I did. Once. But it is no use. It makes me hesitate. It makes me think too much. They aren’t human anymore, Ardyn. They are just Daemons. And the humans, if they are still inside that, only suffer. It is merciful to end that.”

----

"There is plenty of use!" Ardyn huffs.

He pulls a dagger out of the ground and begins to clean it, looking at the mess of bodies Somnus' men will need to clean up. All monsters, all once citizens of their homeland. He thinks about the whispers calling Somnus a monster, who thinks he only cares about killing monsters and not protecting his people. Ardyn brushes a had through his hair.

"Look. Aera heals, you kill those who've turned, and I kill the ones that are in between. Too far gone but not transformed. All of it necessary and good work," He explained. "But I seem to be the only one thinking about my image while doing it!"

He waves his hand in frustration. He doesn't understand how two such public figures don't understand how their actions affect their image.

"It doesn't matter for little miss white magic, but me and you? We have to make them understand it's needed." He said. "They aren't scared of me cause I make it painless, because I talk the families through it. It's not really an option when they are already monsters but. I don't know. If we could figure out who they were, we could send some condolences? Show them you care beyond pest control."

[oops-no-other-blog-available]

local news: happy man has great day. lovely smile. more at 11.

[mothric]

ever have a blorbo live in your brain for so long they become their own blorbo variant that’s no longer fully attached to their source material and your original blorbo is still beloved and dear to you but now you also have a mutant blorbo clone who is dear to you in a different way? 

[tenebriism]

ardynzunia : “Of course, though I rather think i would have already covered up the evidence enough to avoid suspicion.”

He should be questioning the morality behind this, but... well, he's already sworn himself to Ardyn for a life of freedom and adventure. What's a BIT more flexibility?

[ardynzunia]

Ardyn just smiles and strokes a shoulder. Morality was not his strong suit, even ignoring his reputation in religious history.

“I rather think you deserve to do some crime! As a treat,” he laughed. “Fortunately you have a very experienced individual as your wing man.”

[ardynzunia]

Which Ao3 tag are you?

consensual but not safe or sane

you're a little bit feral, but that's okay—you weren't socialized as a puppy. it's not your fault. you mean well!

[ardynzunia]

Crossover verse edits:

As standard, assume Ardyn is an immortal in a method that works with whatever comic or fantasy universe he is in.

Ruby and Adam are always clones of ancient beings. Ruby has the powers and grew up partially in a lab, Adam is defective and just a normal person who escaped.

[ardynzunia]

" --- dearest, close your eyes for me, would you?" Ardyn's senses are certainly far better than his own, but he still wants to attempt at some level of a surprise even despite that. He's been working all day to make this perfect just for the two of them, and when certain Ardyn is ready, Ignis gently guides him out onto the balcony of his apartment.

A hot tub awaits, smelling strongly of lavender, with petals floating atop the water. Adjacent, a small table with a large bouquet of flowers, two empty plates and glasses, and a bottle of expensive champagne. A meal sits in the oven, not yet ready but soon to be, yet the scent of it wafts through the balcony doors, teasing at what awaits.

"It was... my turn to appreciate you, for the lengths you have gone to to see to my care. I... pray it is not too... silly?" He reddens as he looks away sheepishly, still not used to having such a kind, considerate ( and beautiful ) partner.

Adyn smiled and did as he was told, one hand in Ignis' as a guide, though he hardly needed it for the apartment now. He wouldn't lie that a thrill did not run through him when Ignis asked. It had been a very long time since he was close enough to a paramour that they were interested in trying such gestures. Always short liaisons, so neither he nor they would get hurt. Ignis was special.

He smells flowers and food, sure to be perfectly cooked by Ignis' hands. He feels steam both from the kitchen and the direction of the Bath, he thumbs circles on the back of Ignis' hand. He's excited to see everything.

He opens his eyes to look before answering, not that it would change his words. It's beautiful, and romantic, and sappy, and Ardyn adores it. He pulls Ignis close to him, making sure the younger sees his glittering eyes and flushed face. He's no reason to hide how much he adores the gesture.

"I is magnificent, my darling Ignis." He says, voice a little choked by feeling. "You have outdone yourself, and I'm wonderfully flattered that you think I deserve it."

[ardynzunia]

if i had a week i couldn't list all the reasons that wouldn't work.

"Oh come now! You'd make a wonderful plus one," He laughed. "and I'd be able to get *my* tapestry from the vaults as well as the papers you wanted for your research."

What he needed Verstael to understand was the Niflhiem scientist being a fly in the soup of the Tenebrian Ball was exactly the distraction he needed. They'd be so mad he was there they'd never notice the mystery noble slipping off into an unauthorized area. And the Oracle new better than to tell a monster from their myths what to do.

[ardynzunia]

I want to make a caard after college slows down and will. But in meantime update to comic book crossovers:

Ardyn and ruby are from location. Ardyn is a neutral entity similar in powers to vandal savage or other immortals with some bonus magic. In marvel ardyn mutant. In dc ardyn cursed.

Ruby: clone of an ancient being or ancient mutant. Around 12/13 , mad about it. Transferable healing factor, some magic use, warping, weapons training.

[poll-position]

Will you be welcoming inbox trick-or-treaters this year?

YES! - Feel free to trick-or-treat in my inbox!

NO! - I would rather not participate!

Voting ended onOct 15, 2024

Please reblog if YES so your followers will know!

[divinedaemonic]

“One day I am going to figure out some ingenuous way to keep you out of my labs, but that day has not come and here you are again.” Verstael groaned softly and pushed his fingers back through his hair - it had gotten messy without him noticing, far too focused on his work.

“Is there something I can do for you, Ardyn? Or do you just like the horrible weather out here?

@ardynzunia

[ardynzunia]

"Now if you did that just imagine how lonely you would be!" Ardyn said, "and down your best historical expert too, such a shame."

Ardyn was currently sitting coquettishly on his desk, legs lightly swinging as he read over a random report from the files.

"I had some business in Gralea, and thought I'd stop by to see my favorite mad scientist, of course," He answered. "I'd offer you to stop at my place sometime, but I think you might melt from the heat in Altissia. Or the water."