It’s only you… Ilia Malinin x m!reader
Hiiii! I'm new to TUMBLR, sorry if the codes are pretty bad or the story isn't really what you imagined.
words: about 5000 (written in one day, so sorry for mistakes and all false connections/ no proofreading + English is not my native language, sorry)
open request : + info at the bottom of the publication! <3
Inspirational song: Come down Achilles, Click Clack Symphony and The Lost Crown.
_____
People have always thought of you as Achilles and Patroclus. No one could really say why this comparison came about, but when people first saw you, they kept saying, "Have you ever wondered if you were some kind of reincarnation of Achilles and Patroclus?"
Ilia laughed every time. Y/N, on the other hand, smiled gently. Neither of them did anything to stop the rumors about their "reincarnations." Secretly, Ilia liked to say that Y/N was his true soulmate. They had grown up together, spent all their time together, and when they were younger, Ilia had begged his father to let them become a pair in figure skating. But he had refused. Not because he didn't want to, but because same-sex couples weren't allowed.
Ilia had cried a lot at that statement. For a long time. Before pulling himself together and continuing to skate with Y/N. Because he didn't want to waste time when he had his best friend. The best person he had ever met.
Y/N was considered the most sportsmanlike skater of his generation. When others skated, he was always on his feet, cheering them on or watching their routines closely. He was considered the kindest and most charming of the skaters, always ready to say yes when someone needed him during their performances or needed help putting on their costumes.
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ilia_quadg0d_malinin
The Lost Crown (Prince of Persia) - 2WEI, Joznez, Prince of Persia
liked by fanofYN_officiel, adam.siao and other people
ilia_quadg0d_malinin Maybe not a victory, but that idiot managed to cheer me up before the Olympics. Was it luck? Maybe? But I'm still going to beat him just to show who's the strongest...
adam.siao My favorite person will always be Y/N! Can't wait to see you at the World Championships! (I wonder who won the arm wrestling match?)
-> yn_iceskater_off Thank you! Can't wait to see you too, my favorite person! <3 (Me, obviously, unfortunately, I have one arm that's weaker than the other)
---> ilia_quadg0d_malinin Huh? I'm supposed to be your favorite, and always have been? Betrayed by my best friend? (I don't have one arm weaker than the other, what are you talking about?)
yuma_kagiyama15 The two most exciting competitors! Can't wait to see you guys!
alysaxliu Hehehe, my favorite people!
olympics Our two champions! Looking forward to seeing you again in 2030 with more medals and even more victories!
user256 Are they together? Their relationship has always been strange...
-> user697 Nobody really knows... But I don't think so, they're not discreet and they've never said anything about their close relationship.
fanofYN_officiel Way too cute and wholesome for us, unfortunately. I need to have that kind of relationship with a boy… which I absolutely don't have! Y/N, won't you marry me?
----
Y/N never stressed about judged competitions, only about those that didn't matter. The only times she felt stressed were during galas.
Because people weren't judging your talent, only how you jumped. Whereas the galas were mostly personal performances by the skaters. Y/N was more emotional when he skated at the galas, because they were all dedicated to his mother.
Furthermore, Ilia wasn't there to put him under the pressure of losing the gold medal at the World Championships. Y/N knew that losing that medal had been devastating for Ilia's confidence and, above all, his instincts on the ice. He was losing faith in his abilities.
He stepped onto the free skating ice and took a deep breath, beginning his program.
---
Y/N knew this championship wouldn't be his best. Especially the free skate. He felt it deep down, from the very beginning of his performance. He was alone on the ice, and no matter how hard he looked for Ilia's face in the stands, he still couldn't see him.
Perhaps he would have liked to see his lover's blue eyes before stepping onto the dance floor?
Enjoy having your initial stress?
Y/N could see the growing disappointment in his coach's eyes, gradually losing the confidence he had tried to gain in those small moments with Roman, Ilia's father.
You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers
Y/N launched into it, as he usually did for this chorus he loved so much. He was used to it now. The first notes were always the most unsettling for him, because the music became lower from that point on, but he was used to it now.
He had already done this part so many times, he could do it with his eyes closed.
Except today, he could feel it. He wouldn't be able to finish his program on his own two feet.
(it's not worth it, Achilles)
He accelerated along a diagonal, preparing for his first jump, his arms closing slightly against his torso to stabilize his axis, his knees bending just enough to accumulate energy, the outside edge perfectly placed, everything was there, exactly like in training, exactly like hundreds of times before.
More poignant than fame or the taste of another
The momentum ignited, his body launching itself from the ice in a tight rotation, but by the second turn, a loss of balance had thrown him off balance. He had known from the start that this championship would defeat him. That he would lose it for a while. A shift, a loss of alignment that slowly drifted off course.
(don't listen, Achilles)
The landing came too fast, too hard, his blade hitting the ice at an angle that made Ilia, who was watching from the stands, grind his teeth, his weight shifting slightly forward, and what should have been a smooth exit broke into a brutal fall, his body hitting the ice surface in a sharp impact, abruptly cutting off the continuity of the program.
But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker
Breathless, Y/N lay on the ice for a second, his fingers clenched, his skates motionless. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He had never fallen so hard during a competition, especially one so important. The music continued, oblivious to its owner lying on the ground.
He had dedicated his program to his mother. How could he do something as stupid as a fall, when he had never done it before?
How could he be so stupid as to cry over a fall?
(you're worth more, Achilles)
He got up quickly, almost mechanically, regaining his footing on his edges, but something had changed; his movements remained precise, but less instinctive, each gesture slightly restrained, as if he now had to think about what his body knew how to do on its own.
He tried to create a new program that would prevent him from losing more points than he gained. He didn't want to finish below the top 10. He had worked too hard to even deserve that position. He didn't want to.
Tears were visible in his eyes, preventing him from seeing what he was doing. But he didn't want to wipe them away. He didn't want people to see him collapse in the middle of the Prague ice rink.
He wouldn't survive another humiliation. He had completely betrayed his mother by failing his program...
You will not be more than a rat in the gutter
He resumed his step sequence, but the speed was no longer the same, his transitions slightly shorter, his curves less deep, the cracked confidence visible in the new rigidity of his shoulders, in the tension of his arms.
(so much more than a rat)
His next jump was simplified, the takeoff more cautious, the rotation slower, the landing clean but without brilliance, without that sharp confidence that usually defined him.
You want my opinion, my opinion you've got
Ilia watched from the stands as her boyfriend skated past. He saw the fall on the ice, brutal and out of context. Y/N had never fallen like that. Never since they had met had Y/N fallen or made a mistake.
Especially not during competitions. Especially not during important moments.
What had happened to cause Y/N to lose so much face? To prevent him from successfully completing the jump he had mastered the most?
(no one asked your opinion)
On the ice, Y/N continued, because he had to, because stopping would have been worse, his blades still tracing clean lines despite everything, but without the freedom of before.
You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts
Each movement became an obligation rather than an impulse, each transition a correction, an attempt to regain control that was gradually slipping away from her.
(no one asked for your thoughts)
The music was nearing its end, and with it, a fatigue heavier than physical, a fatigue that settled in his posture, in his gaze.
Be done with this now and jump off the roof
He finished his last combination flawlessly, but without brilliance, without that spark that usually captured all the attention, his body still performing, but his mind elsewhere.
(be done with this now and get off the roof)
She held her final pose, but barely, her balance precarious, her shoulders slightly slumped. Y/N felt tears streaming down her cheeks, unable to hold them back any longer.
He had lost everything today.
His coach wasn't even looking at him anymore, even as he greeted the public, in order to get out of this humiliation as quickly as possible.
Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you
The silence lasted a second, too long.
I'm talking to you
Then the applause began, but Y/N already knew. He could feel it in his still-trembling legs, in the strange emptiness left by the fall. The exit from the ice seemed longer than usual. He didn't want to go to his coach, because he could already see what he was going to say. He knew it deep down.
Each step toward the kiss and cry echoed heavily in his still-unsteady legs, as if the fall refused to let him go, clinging to him, visible in every movement, in every glance directed at him. Y/N didn't look up at the stands. He already knew what he would see there: surprise, disappointment, perhaps even pity, and he wanted none of that.
Beside him, his coach walked in silence. A silence far more potent than any remark. Because he always did that when he was disappointed with his performances.
When they sat down, the sofa creaked slightly under their weight, an insignificant detail that Y/N involuntarily clung to, searching for anything to avoid meeting that gaze. But he didn't escape it for long.
"What was that?"His voice was low, controlled. Worse than the anger he deserved. He knew he had messed up. He had messed up so badly. Out of pure arrogance. As he already knew."
Y/N clenched his jaw, staring at the screen in front of them where the replay was already running. He saw himself fall. Again. The angle, the mistake, the loss of control, it was all there, brutally clear.
"I... didn't take the entrance well."
"You don't "take" an entry like that badly.The tone snapped, sharp. He sounded like his father. Perhaps he would be disappointed in him in the same way his coach was. He had tried his best. He could cry right now. He could scream with rage. But he was too polite and too fair to do something like that. "Not you."
The "not you" weighed more heavily than anything else. Because nobody really knew him, he didn't know the real Y/N, who was on the verge of bursting into tears in front of an arena of people who trusted him.
He could feel the gaze of the provisional number one, trying to be neutral or reassuring. But he didn't want pity, he wanted nothing. His plan had been botched, and he thoroughly deserved it.
Because he had been too confident. As always.
Y/N lowered his eyes slightly, his fingers nervously playing with the band of his glove, which he hadn't even completely removed yet.
"That was a quad you've mastered. You do it with your eyes closed in training. So what? Are you overthinking it? Are you panicking? Are you losing focus?" Every question was precise. Cutting. With no escape. He was under pressure from all those questions; he knew he was going to crack.
Y/N inhaled, but no words came out.
Because he didn't have a sufficient answer.
The screen changed.
The notes arrived.
A brief, suspended silence fell.
Then the score was displayed.
Fifth.
The figure remained there, motionless, implacable.
Y/N felt a tightness in his chest, not a surprise, he'd expected it, but a brutal, definitive confirmation. Tears flowed of their own accord as he thought of the sleepless nights he'd spent perfecting his skating to this music. This program he'd performed countless times...
Beside him, his coach exhaled sharply, passing a hand over his face before shaking his head slightly.
"Fifth…"A humorless laugh escaped him. "With that program, you should have been aiming for the podium. At the very least." No glance. No comfort. Just the observation. "Do you realize what you just lost?" His coach could be harsh, but he knew this realization would be important for the boy beside him. That every overconfident champion learns the hard way about the reality of figure skating.
This time, Y/N raised their eyes slightly.
Not completely.
Just enough to see the disappointment.
Not anger.
Not frustration.
Worse.
Loss of confidence.
And that hurt much more than the fall.
His fingers tightened slightly on his knees, his nails digging into the fabric of his suit. "Yes."
One word.
Barely audible.
His coach nodded, straightening up slightly. "I hope so."
Silence fell again between them, heavy, stifling, broken only by applause for the next skater.
But for Y/N, the competition had already come to an end.
Just like his heart. And the fact that everyone had just witnessed his fall.
----
yn_iceskater_off
Where's My Love - SYML
Liked by ilia_quadg0d_malinin, alysaxliu and others
yn_iceskater_off I'm sorry to everyone who believed in me. I'm the first to be disappointed with how my open-source program ended; I'm sorry to disappoint you in this way.
Sorry Mom, I wish I hadn't dedicated this failure of my free program to you...
Comment restricted
---
Time passed quickly, and the gala was fast approaching. Y/N didn't feel ready, but Ilia kept encouraging him to give his performance.
People tended to always give negative opinions about the way he pursued his passion. The world championship and his fifth-place finish had been a tough blow for him, but he knew he would manage to get back in the game.
He knew that the top four had real talent, so his victory wasn't as bitter as he let on.
Especially since Ilia had finished first. He had finally won the gold he deserved, remembering the Milan Olympics and the many falls Ilia had suffered.
"You're stressed, aren't you?" Ilia held Y/N's coat sleeve as he began getting ready for the gala. Ilia had already gone and put his shirt back on to go watch his boyfriend's performance. Y/N was finishing the gala with his performance. He would be the last skater to take to the ice.
"Yes, but only slightly... You know how people are at my performances, I don't think he seems to appreciate them." Y/N looked at the blond boy in front of him. He looked at him with the heart-shaped eyes he always had whenever he looked at the American boy.
"Are you sure you don't want to show it to me so I can give my opinion on your performance? That way you'll know for sure, or maybe my father will want to give his opinion so you know if there are things to change?" Ilia let go of Y/N's sleeve to place it on her boyfriend's chest, feeling his heartbeat. The heart that had succumbed to his charms and the heart he had always loved. "You don't need to be afraid, you'll succeed in everything you do, just like every time you put on your skates!"
They couldn't really talk for long or even finish their conversation, because Y/N was called onto the ice for his gala moment. Ilia didn't know what his boyfriend would do during his moment, but he knew he would succeed at everything he attempted, as always. Even if the judges didn't give him the scores he deserved.
Ilia's father kept saying that Y/N had real talent in terms of choreography and speed. This always made Ilia's heart flutter. Because he loved the fact that his father loved his boyfriend so much and especially that he wasn't surprised to see that he liked boys.
Ilia hurried to his seat before Y/N started performing or even moving. He was surrounded only by boys; there were no girls in the chairs around them.
'Bizarre...'
The lights went out as Y/N's name echoed through the arena. Only the click of heels broke the silence of the rink. The song was starting, and Ilia felt a smile spread across his face, eager to see his boyfriend on the ice.
It was rare for the spectators to be silent. But Y/N managed to achieve that silence every time.
Suddenly, the lights came back on, revealing Y/N dressed in a purple outfit. He wore pants and a skirt over them, while his top was covered in flowers, which made his high/low hair stand out. He smiled proudly as Ilia appeared on the screen, also smiling, reacting to his "best friend," to the others and the audience, with as much love as he could, before he began his performance.
They had always been there for each other. Ilia had been with Y/N when he was in the kiss and cry and vice versa; they had always been together through all the big moments. When Ilia had won medals, when Y/N had managed to reach the podium.
A sentence appeared on the screen, revealing the boy.Be proud of me, Mom.»
As Y/N was about to make a jump, the girls from the competition arrived on the ice. They were all dressed in outfits with flowers on top, similar to what Y/N was wearing, the only difference being the color he had used for his outfit.
They were all pointing in the same direction. Smiles reached their ears, happy to be able to participate in such a meaningful performance.
Y/N
Send the call out, send the call out
Alysa, Amber and Isabeau stood out from the crowd before joining the boy who was on the side of the stage, smiling brightly.
He had been preparing for this moment for several days, wanting to highlight the women who had surrounded him for many months during his performance. To thank them, but also to give them much more prominence than they had previously received.
Calling all my baddest women, it's about to go down
The girls twirled around, their hair flying in the wind, as they could be seen laughing together.
The girls' blades sliced through the ice in perfect synchronicity. Their bodies moved as one, gliding diagonally before abruptly separating into several fluid lines. Some performed elegant spirals, their legs soaring high into the air, while others executed rapid twizzles, their flower-adorned arms tracing colorful arcs in space. Their laughter, visible despite the distance, lent the scene a lightness that contrasted with the power of the message they carried.
Because Y/N didn't want uninterested people to understand the message he was trying to convey. Because the message was for the judges, coaches, and skaters themselves, only for them.
Click-click-click clack symphony, I need that
Click-click-click clack symphony, I love the sound of it
In the center of the ice rink, not by choice but having been pushed by Alysa and Amber, Y/N took over the space with more confidence than he had at the beginning.
Ilia had noticed. Y/N seemed more at ease and slightly happier to be surrounded by people than at the beginning of his performance.
Patroclus had always loved being surrounded by women, considering them his friends. Y/N and Patroclus were similar in every way. And the more time passed, the more he wanted a bigger future with Y/N.
He saw the girls signaling him to do something, and the boy accelerated, his edges biting into the ice with as much precision as he could, before launching himself into a triple axel. He landed the triple axel silently, giving the audience no time to catch their breath, and immediately followed up with a backflip.
A backflip that until now had only been performed by two skaters. One of whom was her boyfriend. One of whom was smiling broadly and shouting his boyfriend's name.
Adam Siao Him Fa and Ilia Malinin.
Who let the girls out? I did, I did, darling
Around him, the girls scattered with complete freedom, some improvising small steps, others twirling or gliding side by side, deliberately breaking the rigid codes of traditional programs. It was no longer a simple performance. It was a statement.
A new beginning for figure skating, especially on the women's side.
That everyone can do their sport to the fullest.
She's empowered by the sound of us marching
A smile appeared on his face as he watched the girls prepare for the finale of their appearances. He had asked them to learn how to do a quad axel for the finale of his performance during the gala.
To surprise everyone, but also to change the sport and for women to finally be able to do all the tricks they wanted without having to restrict themselves.
Her legs are hurting, but her back is still arching
He could feel his heart pounding as the lights followed all the girls doing their quad axels, the crowd screaming and applauding as loudly as they could. Y/N kept smiling as he skated between the girls, gradually finishing off their games.
He never would have believed he'd see the audience so invested in his performance. Usually, people screamed for Ilia's or Adam's. His own were rather invisible to the audience, but when he heard the crowd's shouts, he understood immediately.
He had succeeded. He had succeeded, thanks to the girls, in making his mark on the history of figure skating.
And his heart couldn't have been fuller, seeing the proud looks on the little girls' faces as they picked up the stuffed animals thrown onto the ice rink. The little girls who would be the next generation of figure skating.
The next generation of champions.
And this sound reminds me that it's going to be alright
Koari was the last girl to jump. This signified the end of her career but also the importance she had held in the art of Y/N's performances. He had specifically requested that the Japanese skater be last so she could savor these final moments as a professional skater. It was also a way to show the new generation that the previous generation could also change the rules in their final moments and that everyone was capable of far more than they imagined.
She smiled as she approached the boy who had deliberately ended his career on a high note, intentionally being slightly out of the way during his own performance so the girls could have their moments of glory and perfect triple axels. They skipped between them, leaving the rink so Y/N could continue his performance alone and thus conclude his participation in the gala.
Y/N finished his time on the ice. He was breathing rapidly, his hands coming together on his ribs to catch his breath fully.
He was smiling, certainly. But his cheeks were red and his legs were trembling where Ilia was. Ilia, for his part, couldn't take his eyes off the boy, in the center of the frozen lake.
He was going to do something stupid before he could really think things through fully. But it wasn't him who took the initiative to do something stupid; it was Y/N.
Y/N, who had started to approach the place where Ilia was and was holding out his hand, asking him to come with him.
Ilia took Y/N’s hand as the boy did not take him in front of everyone on the ice. His smile reaching his eyes. Y/N seemed to be the happiest man in the world.
Y/N, still holding Ilia's hand in hers, spun him around while he laughed.
He had finally succeeded in what he wanted to do. The audience was still applauding and was now beginning to stand up.
And Y/N kisses Ilia, almost causing them to fall during the action on the ice. Y/N had kissed Ilia in the same way that Achilles kissed Patroclus in those days.
And Ilia, for his part, felt like he was on cloud nine, kissing his boyfriend again. Finally able to claim him as his own.
Because Y/N, as long as Ilia lived, would always belong to him.
yn_iceskater_off
Click, Clack Symphony - Raye (ft. Hans Zimmer)
Liked by ilia_quadg0d_malinin, adam.siao and other people
at_iceskater_off Thank you so much for allowing me to realize my dream… my dream of changing certain aspects of this sport that I have loved since I was little…
Thank you to all the girls who participated in my performance during the gala… it was one of the best things in my life! I sincerely hope you enjoyed being a part of this little facet of figure skating.
And for the rest of us, see you in Osaka! Gear packed and fully prepared to beat all the great champions 🙌
user762 My favorite moment of the gala... How did you even come up with the idea of bringing the girls from the gala up to make it a group performance?
-> user829 I don't think it was even planned because I saw the look on the Y/N coach's face when the girls came onto the ice?
alysaxliu Thank you Y/N for allowing us to experience a moment like this! And best wishes to you and Ilia <3
ilia_quadg0d_malinin Not even a cute little moment with me? I was supposed to be your all-time favorite, and I'm only with other people?
loved by the creator
-> yn_iceskater_off Poor baby, so you'll be sleeping outside then?
--> alysaxliu Problem in paradise, then? I thought you liked it when Y/N was mean to you?
loved by the creator
ilia_quadg0d_malinin
Liked by yn_iceskatter_off, adam.siao and other people
ilia_quadg0d_malinin Perhaps we were a little too mysterious about it? But what could I say? Can Achilles really live without his Patroclus? Without his soulmate? I'll never know the answer, but I'm happy to have such a perfect boyfriend as Y/N… even if I'm always the first and he's the fifth…
yn_iceskater_off Go fuck yourself? Was that supposed to be cute?
-> ilia_quadg0d_malinin I love you too, love of my life! Even if you're always second best.
- -> yn_iceskater_off Am I allowed to hate you? Because I really am right now?
Limited comment
THE END
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Hi! I'm so excited to post this first story here!
I hope you will like them as much as I enjoyed writing them - my requests are open, but with a lot of uncertainty about how long it will take me to write.
My next fic will be a f!reader - but unfortunately, I don't have a skater to write about yet. Feel free to suggest ideas, no restrictions (maybe a little bit about smut, please). DON'T HESITATE TO MAKE REQUESTS BECAUSE I'M BORED AND NEED SOMETHING TO DO (EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO MAKE INSTAGRAM POSTS!)