[arialfont]

welcome to my twisted (little) mind (life)

[plushviscera]

[arialfont]

looking for a job makes me want to die

[weepyemperor]

They fuck you up, your mom and dad. They absolutely mean to and they ruminate about it like emperors plotting sieges, for hours a day, they have excel spreadsheets called "quickest pathway towards Giving my innocent child borderline personality disorder,"... But they do.

[grimalditeuthis]

cats are so naturally skilled at Writhing In Sunbeam. i wish i had even a fraction of this talent but instead i just have all these bones

[arialfont]

[arialfont]

[bigandretired-deactivated202501]

[bombing]

tired of people asking me to play basketball just because of the flaming basketball tattoo on my neck. i hate basketballs. i want them all to burn in hell. that is the significance of this tattoo

[whaile]

late summer / early fall thoughts

[thegrayelephent]

Me when I write for 30 minutes: 1k words

Me when I write for 2 hours: 500 words

Me when I write for 4 hours: -300 words

[the-real-seebs]

Once Oscar Wilde, coming down to lunch, was asked how he had spent his morning. "I was hard at work," he said. "Oh?" he was asked. "Did you accomplish much?" "Yes indeed," said Wilde. "I inserted a comma." At dinner, he was asked how he had spent his afternoon. "More work," he said. "Inserted another comma?" was the rather sardonic question. "No, said Wilde, unperturbed. "I removed the one I had inserted in the morning."

[hotvampireadjacent]

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[dogpuppy]

[arialfont]

[corantus]

locked the fuck in get my money up

[skoomabong]