Irrelevant @arieanajosephine - Tumblr Blog

I remember the exact night, the exact moment, I realized it was time to get over you. An overwhelming pain numbed my whole body and I couldn't move. It hurt so bad.

3-8-18

THE TRUTH IS I'M FUCKING SAD.

THE TRUTH IS I'M FUCKING HURT.

THE TRUTH IS I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

10.30.17

I like to compliment and socialize with random people or just wave to someone I barely know and I constantly get judged for it, "Arieana stop oh my gosh, you're being weird." But I've went through so much of my life too anxious to say anything to anyone and I finally am comfortable "being weird." If I'm finally comfortable enough to acknowledge other strangers and interact with other people I used to not be comfortable with, stop trying to stop me and make me feel bad about it.

10-7-17

It sucks that there really is nowhere safe for me to say, "I'm in a lot of pain."

I’m far from beautiful, but I’m learning to love myself. Personality, skin, size, body, and all. One day I’ll get there. For now, I refuse to fall.

12-24-16

#self appreciation #love your body #love yourself #beautiful #beauty #body appreciation #confidence #inspiration

I can’t do it. He makes my heart pound, skip a beat, and stop all at once. His name pops up on my lock screen and for the first time I feel wanted. Seeing him or hearing his voice, I can’t help but smile like an idiot and his quirkiness makes me laugh like I never have. I’d do anything to keep him happy and I’d put him first. His passion draws me in and our conversations hold me there. His good morning and goodnight messages make me melt and I just want to call him mine. But he doesn’t feel the same way. If only he knew.

11-13-16

I told him.

Today was the day, I told him I no longer wanted to stay. I couldn't look him in the eyes, They were stuck on the "happy holiday" blanket draped on the couch beneath us. Crossed legged I sat, fiddling with a hair tie waiting to snap. The words fell out my mouth. Breath shaky, heart racing. I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry I can't control it. I'm sorry I've spent these past seven years smiling, not being happy. I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. I'm sorry the dark took over me. I'm sorry I'm being selfish. Today was the day, He told me he too once didn't want to stay. He told me we couldn't be selfish. He told me we needed an escape, but that wasn't the way. He told me if we did, we'd be stuck in the middle. Not above, nor below. Just stuck. He told me afterwards he'd want to see us again. But if he's stuck, he told me he can't. We can't be selfish he said. Learn to control it he said. Learn to manage he said. Learn who you are he said. Learn who you will become he said. Learn you aren't the only one. He said hug me. He said I love you. I told him, "I love you." He said don't ever do that. I told him I wouldn't. Tonight was the night. The night I learned I needed to fight. By Arieana Josephine 10.6.16 8:32pm