as if

arizona, 30 all alone in space and time, there's nothing here but what here's mine.

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

Danny shrugged hopelessly at Ari’s question. “Being happy, I guess?” he even questioned himself as he said it, he hadn’t given what he wanted much thought. He didn’t consider himself able to change the course of his life any time soon, instead he just wondered if he could’ve done things differently. “What about you?” he returned it back to her with curiosity. He was quiet when they said they weren’t in high school any longer but then Danny was laughing. “How about this, you pay for a bottle if that makes you feel better and whatever I happen to do when you’re not lookin’ happens without you knowing.” 

“As long as you know what is gonna make you happy, it’s fine I guess.” That was exactly Ari’s problem, she had no idea what would make her happy, so she constantly wandered around aimlessly. “I have no clue. Well, of course I want to be happy too but I just don’t know how to be in Calderwood.” Shrugging her shoulders, Ari forced a smile. “That sounds like a deal to me. That’s exactly the behavior I am going to have if you get caught, I am gonna pretend like I don’t even know you.” Ari teased, nudging him with her elbow, she aimed to touch his elbow but of course she ended up nudging his side. 

[arizonajonesx]

alexisattwater‌:

Alexis gave one long nod in understanding. Sure, she hated it, the idea of women being so dependent on men that they got hung up on the mere concept of them. But would she be lying if she said she’d never worn those shoes herself? Well, it was a good thing she was a good liar. 

“Maybe try Plenty o’ Fish?” Alexis suggested halfheartedly, disguising her attempt at a joke thinly behind an insincere smile. “What’s the Jesus warrior one? Christian Mingle? Those sound like places people who are serious about decent relationships go, right?”

“Right..” She nodded at her friend’s insane suggestions, chuckling. “I am sure they would be thrilled to have an atheist who was raised by two organized religion hater hippie people.” She sure would be a great addition to Christian Mingle. 

“I don’t get why people are still into casual dating. That was fun when we were in college or whatever, you know, thinking there are too many people lining up for us but now? I feel like it’s time to settle down.” Mostly because she didn’t have anything else going on with her life. “Or maybe I should get a hobby,” For a second she paused and thought about it while placing her finger against her chin. “Nah, that still wouldn’t fill my hole.” Realizing what she just said, Ari snorted. “I mean, not that hole. The hole I have inside. Inside my ...” She stopped, shaking her head. “I am just gonna shut up. I think you get my point.” 

[arizonajonesx]

rubyjonesing‌:

Ruby singed with jealousy. She wished she could leave work early, especially on slow days like this, but her boss wouldn’t dream of such an act. “It’s, uh…” She struggled to find the right way to describe how things were going. Truthfully, life felt dull—it still felt dull. Like Ruby was plunged deep within a grey scale with no color in sight. It wasn’t all doom and gloom, though; she found comfort in grey. 

“Things are good.” She internally cringed at what felt like filler words. “Oh yeah, I can barely keep up. You’re my third customer, if you can believe it.” Ruby pressed her lips together. “Enraged? Really? About clothes?”

Things are good. Ari chuckled to herself, thinking when was the last time she formed the exact same sentence? Wasn’t it sad that she couldn’t remember? 

“Here I thought, I would be the first one. I guess there are few hipsters in Calderwood.” She didn’t get people’s fascination with records, but it was a good thing that they had, otherwise Ruby would be jobless. “You can’t even imagine what women are capable of when it comes to clothes.” She wasn’t any different though. “I can’t blame them though. Once I almost pinched a woman during a sample sale.” Ari laughed, before taking a sip from her ice coffee. “Things can get really wild.”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

Danny was a little puzzled at Ari’s question, unsure if she meant it as a direct question or some aloof metaphor for how she was feeling. He shrugged and shot a smile at her. “Everyone knows what they want deep down, just some of us just don’t wanna admit it to ourselves. That’s what I think anyways.” he replied, maybe smoking joints all day wasn’t doing him any good. “Nah, fuck that. You’re not paying.” he insisted with a shake of his head. “Why make some already rich bozo richer anyways? They won’t miss a few bottles off their shelves.”

“Do you really know what you want from life?” If he did, then was this the life he wanted to live? It didn’t make any sense to Ari. “Okay I agree with you there but I also know that rich bozo is gonna blame the staff when he or she finds out a few bottles are missing.” She could only imagine what would her own boss would do to her if she found out a few of the dresses went missing. “We are not high schoolers anymore. We can’t be that inconsiderate.”

[arizonajonesx]

alexisattwater‌:

“I mean, everyone’s weird when it comes to sex,” Alexis shrugged. Was it true? Maybe yes, maybe no. “What’s weirder is usually what you find out outside the bedroom. Or, like, not as easy to overlook. Y’know, ‘cause it’s a night, versus eternity.”

“So I guess I’m saying you should make sure you’re looking through your hookup goggles, not your future hubby goggles.”

“True.” Could Ari argue with that? “Oh my god, that’s the worst.” Ari just remembered her latest drunken hook-up. The guy was ugly as a sin, she didn’t even want to think about it. “I can overlook things when I am shit faced.” Maybe she should give that a try, being drunk all the time, maybe she could be in a serious relationship then. “I get what you are saying but I am tired of that. I just want to be in a decent relationship.”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

“I don’t lie.” Danny replied simply with a smile. “They will, gotta keep fighting for what you want though.” he chuckled. Danny’s smile was able to widen when Ari said she’d join him, placing his cigarette between his lips so both his free hands could help pull her to her feet. “You don’t have to, cause I’m probably gonna have to steal it.” he said honestly, though he was certain Ari was well aware of what he was like.

Ari couldn’t help but wonder, how could people survive without lying? It just didn’t make sense to her. “What if you don’t know what you want?” That’s a topic she really didn’t want to delve but it seemed like they were getting there. “Steal it?” She shouldn’t be surprised at this point, especially knowing Danny. “You don’t have to. We can just go to the nearest liquor store. I just got paid.”

[arizonajonesx]

rubyjonesing‌:

Tension released from Ruby at the sight of a familiar face with iced coffee in tow. She didn’t realize how much she needed a distraction until it came in the form of her cousin, Ari. Suddenly, the boring shift became far more interesting. 

“You know you’re my favorite cousin?”

“I am everybody’s favorite cousin.” She joked, it’s not like she would know that for sure. “I left work early today, since I don’t have anything else to do, I decided to see my favorite cousin.” There were moments Ari felt closer to Ruby than her own sister.

“How is everything going?” She chuckled. “This place looks busy.” That was her attempt to sound sarcastic. “On a second though, it’s actually better you know? I am dealing with enraged customers daily and let me tell you, it’s not great.”

[arizonajonesx]

evie-pxrker‌:

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Evie edged forward slightly, scowling. The brunette felt at a loss for what the Jones’ really wanted her to do which caused her to act on the defence instantly. “I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but why don’t you leave me alone if you hate me so much?” Evie groaned. “I can’t do anything else but say I’m sorry. It was years ago so if you’re both still hung up on it, maybe you need to get a fucking hobby.”

“I think you know what that means.” She didn’t need to explain it further, did she? That was the thing about being sorry, it usually didn’t mean anything when it wasn’t sincere. Scoffing, Ari shook her head. “Right.. I should get a hobby because I am the wrong one here.” God, some people never change, she thought to herself. She was about to walk away but before she did that, she decided to speak again, “Good luck to your kid. She is gonna have to put up with you at least eighteen more years. That’s gonna require some patience for sure.” Ari looked at the kid once last time and finally left Evie alone, just like she wanted. 

[arizonajonesx]

rubyjonesing‌:

Location: Funkatorium Records | OPEN

Ruby stared out the window and took in the bright, sunny sky. It was a perfect day to be outside, breathing in the fresh air, and yet she found herself with hours left of her shift at Funkatorium Records. It didn’t help that she helped less than five customers since opening. Slow days ought to be banned, she thought. 

Pressing her eyes closed, she imagined the salty smell of the ocean, sand crunching under her feet, and waves crashing over her body. Suddenly, the door opening sounded across the shop and brought Ruby back to reality. 

“Hey there. Anything you’re looking for?”

Unlike her siblings, Ari wasn’t blessed with a great taste in music, her Spotify playlist were full of Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift. Simply whatever was in the top 40. Obviously her only reason to be in a record store was visiting her cousin Ruby. Their personalities were different but the dislike they had for their hometown was the one thing they had in common. 

“I am looking for you.” She chuckled, walking towards the other blonde. “And I brought ice coffee.”

[arizonajonesx]

evie-pxrker‌:

Evie kept a tight hold on her child and looked around wondering why everything from her past seemed to be chasing her all of a sudden. “Look, I…” Evie groaned again, this time frustrated with the fidgeting Lily in her arms. It was hard to look serious with a drooling infant at her hip. Turning away from the other momentarily, she took to putting Lily down in her pram and then turned back with her hands on her hips. “Do I look like I have time to do this shitty high school reunion thing?” she frowned with a sharp inhale. “What do you want me to say? Grovel for forgiveness for something I did when I was like thirteen? I was a little shit, I didn’t realize. I said I was sorry. Unless someone’s seen Marty McFly or Doc around here, I can’t do much else.”

“Right, you must be in a rush. Is it a coke party that you wouldn’t want to miss?” That was low blow, which wasn’t something Ari would ever be proud of but the brunette’s attitude rubbed her in the wrong way. For some stupid reason she thought Evie would own her shitty behavior and be apologetic about it. “But anyway, you are right, you shouldn’t beg for forgiveness because it seems like you are still a little shit. Let’s just hope that wouldn’t rub off on your kid. ”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

Danny just smiled at her and took another sip from his beer, his crystal eyes peeping at her from above the can. He wasn’t the best at reading people’s emotions too deeply, he took most things for face value but he could tell Ari was maybe getting sick of his teasing guilt trips.  “It’s not bad, Ari.” he replied, tapping his pockets to find his cigarette packet and pulling it out once he felt where they were resting. “You’ll figure shit out, anyways. Things work out all good in the end.” he added. Upon her request, he was up on his feet and downing the rest of his beer. “Uhuh, I can get that.” he replied simply, already taking steps away in the direction of the stores opposite the beach. “I’ll look for gin too.” Danny added with a smile, “Need anything else?”

“It is bad, you don’t need to lie just to make me feel better.” She shrugged her shoulders, smiling softly. She appreciated the gesture but it didn’t change the truth. Her life in Calderwood wasn’t something Ari dreamed of. “I hope they will.” She wished she was as optimistic as he was. His answer brought a smile to Ari’s lips, god this felt like high school all over again. But no, this time she didn’t want him to do all the work by himself. With a quick move, she stood up and smiled. “Noo, don’t do that. Let’s go and look for vodka together. You always did shit for me, let me help for once.”

[arizonajonesx]

hardingjana‌:

“You’ve lived here your whole life, haven’t you? I know that look.”

“No.” She objected immediately, as if the other blonde accused her of something terrible. “I haven’t lived here my whole life. I mean I kinda did but I also left for a while. I lived in San Francisco for four years.”

[arizonajonesx]

hardingjana‌:

“We didn’t have too many Farmer’s Markets back in Maine. I mean, yeah, we eventually picked up on it after you guys. I feel like every California is, like, baptized at one of these things. Or Disneyland.” Jana cleared her throat, tossing in a couple apricots to her bag, “And the weirdness just keeps on rolling, I guess.”

“Oh you are from Maine?” She asked curiously, raising her brow. Ari always wanted to visit East Coast, she just didn’t have the time nor the money. “California has its quirks but it’s still my favorite place. Not Calderwood though.” She grimaced a little, wrinkling her nose. “Here is very boring.”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

“Uhuh, or it was just embarrassing to be seen with the Anderson boy. I get it.” Danny smiled, still teasing her. He also agreed with the sentiment that he was still a dumbass and cackled with a raspy laughter. “Little dumbasses together.” he added in for good measure, ruffling his tattooed fingers through her hair. When Ari then said he counted as her only friend, he gave a sympathetic smile. “Your life can’t be that bad that your only friend is me?” he still cracked a joke, before nudging her with his elbow gently. “Whenever you wanna hang out, you only have to say so. It’s not like I ever got plans.” he shrugged happily. “What do you wanna drink? I’ll go grab us somethin’ else.”

“Don’t say that.” He wasn’t wrong though but that didn’t mean Ari wanted to hear about it. While she was enjoying the conversation, part of her was depressed because it felt like nothing changed in her life. Ari always thought she was going to live a completely different life in her thirties but that was not the case right now. She just chuckled as ruffled his fingers through her hair, quickly fixing once he moved his hand away. 

“Oh trust me, my life is that bad.” All of her friends moved to different states, they have completely moved on and said their goodbyes to Calderwood. “Thank god I have a job, otherwise I would’ve lost my mind already.” Still though, she wasn’t making much, hence she was living with her parents. “Can you find us a Vodka? I’d ask for Gin that would be hard to find.”

[arizonajonesx]

evie-pxrker‌:

It took a few moments for the girl’s face to register within Evie’s memories. At first she had thought she was Kody but then swiftly remembered the sister of the girl she had terrorized. Sighing, Evie knew she had to bite the bullet. It was what she deserved but really, how long did these people hold a grudge for? “Look, I said I was sorry, alright? Your sister gave me enough shit the other day so you can be happy about that.” Evie groaned, her eyes looking everywhere else but to the other woman. “I was a damn kid. Not Hitler, for christ’s sake.”

“I am glad that she did.” Ari wasn’t very confrontational person but this was different, when it came to her family, she couldn’t mind showing her claws. As Evie continued, Ari couldn’t help but scoff. Was she serious? “Is that all you want to say? We were kids too, Kody was a kid too but I’ve never seen her tormenting anyone. What was your excuse? Other than being a bitch of course.”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

Danny laughed, not able to contain his cheeky grin. “Since that time you made me climb out the window so Kody didn’t see me in your bed.” As much as he enjoyed taunting her, Danny honestly held no animosity for the way things panned out between them. They were young and he was well aware she was in a different league to him, what could he have had to offer a girl like Ari? She deserved the world. “I’m just messin’, don’t worry. Everyone was a dumbass back then, you’re lookin’ at the biggest dumbass from back then.” he laughed happily. “We’re friends, don’t worry.” 

“I have every right to keep that secret from Kody, that’s different.” She never liked discussing her sex life with her siblings, it was just weird to Ari, she didn’t understand how some people did it. Her smile softened as he continued, he sounded very sincere. Was it surprising though? He’s always sounded sincere, unlike Ari. 

“You are still a dumbass,” She teased, chuckling. “So am I. That justifies our friendship.” Ari finished the beer in one sip, grimacing. “I am glad that we are friends though, as pathetic as it sounds, you are my only friend right now. Well, I have also Kody but she doesn’t count.” With a shrug, she chuckled. “Anyway..” She didn’t want to dwell on it, tonight was all about having fun after all. “If we want to get drunk, we should find something other than beer because this does nothing to me.”

[arizonajonesx]

danny--anderson‌:

“You’re not a needy drunk. But, I can handle it.” Danny said, smiling when Arizona finally took the bottle. Truthfully, he kinda liked Needy Ari. “Yesss, thatta girl.” he jived, swooping up his own opened bottle and drinking a quick sip. “It’s the fourth of July, Ari. You gotta have some fun.” Danny chuckled. “I’ve been promoted to friend now, huh? You sure you’re not ashamed to be my friend?” he raised his eyebrows, his words a half joke and only meant to be playful.

“You say that because I haven’t gotten drunk with you since... I don’t know, forever?” It has been a while since they’ve gotten drunk together. It’s not like she was avoiding him or anything, she just didn’t have the motivation to go out and socialize with old friends. Chuckling at his reaction, Ari took another sip from the beer. However, when he cracked a joke about their past, her expression changed, she let out a long sigh. Lord, she owed him an apology, didn’t she? “You’ve always been my friend.” Ari started, shrugging. “I was just being a dumbass back then.”