#ramble again

[oliveflavouredmenace]

((Ok, hang on hang on. Ik the small world group had ramshackle OCs (duh) but then, that got me thinking. Zeddzyi also has pine point..so….))

((anyone got any pine point oc’s? BECAUSE IM SURE AS HELL GONNA MAYBE TRY AND MAKE ONE FOR FUN-))

[meera000]

Just because i can

(Cookie Mueller, Saint Etienne, sotce)

Thinking about leaving and running away and that sort of thing. not thinking about doing it but rather just it in general. the wave i was on last summer. i like where i am right now but im getting another itch to see something new.

cookie mueller's book is making me long for adventure but within the bounds of my life. on-brand adventure, does that make sense? i love my life, but i want to try a couple things. my life isn't wild, i don't end up in wild situations, nor do i really have the energy for that. but i think about my time in stockholm last summer and how i am now friends with a model that i met on tinder whose floor i slept on when i came back in the winter. i think about my friend who upped and moved to berlin after graduating, knowing only a person they met on hinge and were in love with, who i miss dearly and want to visit when i have the means. (during my 2 week return to boston between sthlm and la we both gushed about how we had fallen in loveee. things are different now though.) they always inspired me even when they were at school in providence because of how eventful and thus fun their life was. when i would go to stay with them for a couple nights i would embrace it fully. wake up get breakfast go for a walk stop by the flea eat lunch go to pole class come home and shower sit down get ready have some dinner go out come home sleep. repeat with a few tweaks

the other day hayden and i got ice cream and i told them that i felt like i had lived many lives in that one day. they said they love days like that. and i agree! i love packing my days but still having time to rest! i need to make more adventure in boston, because i love being where i am and i love everyone and everything here-- all i need is less idle time.

[aust3nland]

at the end of the day i’ll eat up any pride and prejudice adaptation if even like a third of it’s redeemable. good casting and costumes and new takes on characters or setting always fill me with delight

i am this 🤏🏼 close to turning my old hs fanfic/movie script for a clueless adjacent pride and prejudice into a corny college au or something

[keanu-reeves]

i think i finally had a breakthrough thought today on why most hardcore taylor swift fans i know react so violently and over the top aggressively to any ideation of “i don’t like her music” or “i understand why it’s so popular but i think it’s critically overrated.”

because f.ex. i am pretty insane and parasocial about the band ghost on the same level or worse probably as most of the swifites i’ve encountered irl 💀 but if someone says they don’t like ghost’s music, i get it. the voice is nasal, the lyrics can be silly and sexual and the music to the general radio/charts listener is quite heavy yet not heavy enough for many a diehard metalhead.

so!!! i think the key here is the type of parasocial relationship that is happening for swifties. in my obsvervation all the really intense swifites identify a lot with TS. it’s not an aspirational “i want to be her” it’s a literal “she is me.” which is also helped by her constant narratives of self victimization and being the underdog. so every single slight or dismissal that is said about TS is taken as a personal insult. an offense to the swiftie themselves. does that make sense??

while the general assumption about parasocial relationships are most often of a sexual nature (do i want to **** papa emeritus iv? uhhhhhhhh ok yes i do. but also that’s why i don’t care if someone says he looks bad, obv attraction is 100% subjective), but that’s not the case with TS, it’s of a she is me nature lmao. there’s probably papers out there on different parasocial relationship types and how they manifest but! that thought has helped me a lot as a TS disliker who keeps giving her songs a chance and then has to report back to friends with “sorry no i didn’t like it i don’t think it’s good :(“

[i-need-2-lighten-up]

I'm not Okay. Thing is when you ask me how I'm feeling ill always reply with "I'm fine" or "yeah sure I'm okay", I remember when you knew their was something wrong with me and you would question me and as much as that annoyed me, it showed me you cared. But I guess this just shows how fucked up shit is now. You will probably never see this obviously (you don't have my Tumblr👌🏼) but this full concept of our friendship or whatever we had disappearing into thin air is making me feel worse everyday. Yours truly ~The girl you used to know.

[iworshipthemoon]

So I have finished that HaruRin fic by Queenie

Never before in my entire shitty life have I come across such a captivating, breathtaking piece of fiction. This is obviously pure gold. It possesses the power to crash this pitiful life of mine into tiny little fragments, and honestly I did beg for it.

Well if you are completely clueless about my ramble, I beg you pardon. Nevertheless, in case you aren't, come here I'm crawling for some mental help ;-;

[grimalkim]

I always get paranoid when the cleaners are in that they'll try and invade my room, or lurk outside the door to see if they can hear what is going on in here.

Three years and still the cleaners are like the monsters in the cupboard for me!

[foreverwasmadeforus]

All the people I know have about 300 or something liked posts.

So if they liked something 

then BAM they can find it easy...

I have over 5000 liked posts.

And I am currently trying to find this song I really liked.

I think I liked it several months ago...

*sigh*

*dives into the ocean that is my liked posts*