Just Some Life Stuff

[arjun-subrahmanian-blog]

Art is play

Listen to this, do you remember as a child when you used to play by yourself? Maybe your friends were out of town. Maybe your siblings were at your aunt's place. Or maybe you were like me, with no siblings. And I remember, very young, when my family moved to Muscat, I used to HAVE to play by myself to entertain myself. I hadn't made any friends in my neighborhood. So I would have all my Power Rangers action figures all lined up, and I would make up some story. "They are marching on. On a mission. Batman is on the other side. He's turned evil. They're gonna fight him. But Batman has all the trucks and the Hot Wheels cars." Do you see? And one hand I would hold a Power Ranger and on the other hand, Batman and I would have them fight out a battle. On other days, it would be truck versus a sports car. It was all my imagination that made the play so much better.

I had to split myself into two halves to play this game. One half's hand would assume one character. The other half's hand would be another. And these both hands would have a conversation or do some fun activity together. On a more deeper level, the part of me that I split into two halves was one me. The other me was purely an audience, simply enjoying the show from within. I split myself into a performer and an eager audience, who loved the performer's art and the performer himself. This was the first form of self-entertainment I found. Do you understand? Are you here right now?

With music, writing, poetry, or any form of art it's the same. One half of you creates the art, the other half of you enjoys it greatly as it experiences what has been created. I think it must be that way for art to be truly enjoyed. You know? There are so many things to be understood in this analogy. Don't worry, I'm figuring out where this is going along with you. I'm also a curious reader at this point, do you see? The writer in me is writing this, the reader in me is greatly enjoying what I'm writing. The intrigue is that I don't know exactly where this is going, I just have hints which I overheard when my writer quietly whispered to himself.

So the things... You should love yourself :) Really.. It has to happen. If you don't, please start doing so. Lord, of all people, I know very well that this is easier said that done, but trust me it's possible. Watch the video 'Why you don't feel good enough' by Charisma on Command, on YouTube. That's what finally got me on the journey of self love.

Secondly, you make art for yourself. That's why it's enjoyable. If you were thinking about what people would like while creating, then you're not truly writing for yourself. Write whatever you want, create for yourself, like a child. Your inner artist is a child. Let him/her play. And you join him/her in thoroughly enjoying what he/she is doing. Laugh at your own jokes, have fun at the absurdity of your imagination, marvel at the insights you find within, respect and love what you create. Creativity is a gift which has been given to us ALL. Yes every single one of us. No exception. We are creations ourselves, we are meant to create in turn.

Play. Let yourself play. And enjoy that play. I'm happy with this. My reader is happy. Slightly disappointed that I forgot half of my interesting points halfway through 😁 But that's okay. Art might be incomplete, according to what you intended. But whatever came out is complete art. There is beauty in letting yourself be okay with slight disappointments too. Maybe like I had great ideas on how to end this post, you must have had great ideas, but weren't able to fully express it.. It's okay. Your inner artist is a child. When a child doesn't do as well as he thought he would, what do you do? You pat his head, say "Good job, champ! I'm so proud of you! Look you've gotten better wow you're a big boy now huh? Next time, you can do better okay? Don't worry, I believe in you. You know, they say trying is so important, even if you don't win...." You know the rest.

Don't you? Take care of yourself and your inner artist. He/she or he and she both are precious and super super talented. Let them play and have fun :)

(Btw, all of this was sparked by how much I'm being influenced by a life-changing book 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron. If you haven't read it yet, please do. I can't express how much I have been helped by it. It's a book for people to unblock their creativity. Here's a secret, download the app called 'AnyBooks' from Google Playstore and you can find and read this book for free. That's what I'm doing 😋) Bye :)

[arjun-subrahmanian-blog]

Let Be

Balancing act,

Did I make a pact?

Who demands continuation? (Nobody)

Art - no rules, patience..

Little triangle,

From whence did thou come?

No compulsion, no rhymes,

Questions can be unanswered.

And remain so..

What does this mean?

Lol, I don't know,

Don't need to know.

Art is the point, in and of itself.

No need to make meaning,

of that which just is..

Why explain and label?

Let be.. joy requires no reason.

For me,

With love,

Arjun

[arjun-subrahmanian-blog]

Rain, Art and Life

Rainy days used to be really peaceful. Nowadays they're just depressing somehow. Have you ever felt a certain way about something and then later on felt differently about it? I guess it's all about perspective, huh?

We all seem to change as life takes us on its journey. Faces that made you smile, nowadays just make you turn away. Music that once inspired you and made you jump in excitement now just sounds bland and boring. Art that spoke to you once, now just looks like squiggly lines and paint on canvas.

However, there seems to be some part of you that hasn't changed. Sometimes you hardly remember about this part of you. It's a very subtle realization and needs a little introspection to really unearth it, I guess. But it's there nevertheless, and that "you" really hasnt gone anywhere. A strain of being that never stopped being.

Today, I was trying to write a song. And I decided that I wouldn't quit, no matter how much I start hating whatever I composed just 10 minutes after I've written it. And yet, here I am, guitar and book kept aside, just lying on the bed, writing this.

I call this micro-giving-up. I guess for introverted (not completely, like 60%) over-thinkers like me, sometimes deciding to do something can be really stressful when it doesn't yield you any satisfactory results. Especially sometimes when deciding to do something takes a lot of energy out of you and a lot of effort. So sometimes, I just give up for a day. Or for however long I need to recover. But I can only do this because I'm so sure that I won't completely give up.

When I was little, I think I read parts of 'My Experiments with Truth' by Mahatma Gandhi, and I don't know if I read this there but I remember a quote that goes something like "Even if you fail a 100 times, try again." Ever since then, I've always been ready to pick myself up after a failure and try again.

So these micro-giveups seem to be useful because they allow you the peace of mind of giving up, for as long as you need it, until you recover and can get back to it.

Anyway this post doesn't have any specific direction. I just wanted to write, because I felt like it.

Rainly days are depressing, it just feels like the world is crying for the entire day.

Thanks for going through my random musings, if you did.

[arjun-subrahmanian-blog]

#writing #latenightpoetry

[arjun-subrahmanian-blog]

Make music for yourself

So I was trying to compose something today, and a realization washed over me. This is something that I've heard from people before too, but it never really profoundly affected me like it did today. So anyway, here is what I wrote down as advice for myself, and is now being presented to you all, in case someone benefits from this. (Shout-out to Rohit Sanjay, who first told me about this concept; and Sachin Rajeev, who told me about the Steven Wilson quote used at the end of this.) Here it is:

Make music for yourself, to amuse yourself, to make yourself happy. Make the music you want to listen to. If it gives you joy, then that's all that matters. Don't care if it's pleasing to everyone or not. Make weird music, make strange music, make whatever music you want to make for yourself, it doesn't have to make sense. Just make it. Check to see if you feel a burst of innocent joy when you play something, if you do, follow that note, follow it, let it show you it's secrets. Let the melody tell you it's story. Let it show you it's soul. Let it make you feel what its feeling. Feel sincerely, like a child. Wide-eyed, in awe, allow yourself to be taken on your own adventure. Don't for one second, think about what others will say or think about you or the music you're making or the adventure you're on. They don't know what makes you truly happy. Only you do. So just truly allow yourself to be washed away by the waves of your own curiosity and care only for that which gives you joy. Immerse yourself in it, without the need for anyone else's validation or praise. Your own joy is your validation. Brahman tastes it's own bliss by living as a Jivatman. Similarly allow yourself to experience the joy of your own expression. Be the one who creates the experience, be the one who is experiencing, and be the experience itself, completely, passionately. That's when you are fulfilled. "Make music for yourself and let the world listen along", that's all. Make what excites you. Follow curiosity. Make music. Just make it.

Here's a quote from Steven Wilson:

"I think the responsibility of every true artist is ultimately to be selfish, to make something that they themselves believe 100 percent in and not to ever think about what other people want from them. No one is going to tell me that Picasso painted paintings to please other people, I don’t believe it! I think great artists make things in a very selfish way, and lesser artists think about their fans and try and provide something to please them. For me, those people are not really artists, they’re entertainers. I don’t mean that in a patronizing way; I have a lot of respect for people who can entertain. But being an artist is all about being selfish, about being true to yourself." - Steven Wilson (Porcupine Tree)