Submission quite simply is a submissive’s ability to trust, and give control over to a Dominant. It is the core of their power within BDSM relationships, and should be treated with utmost respect by Dominants and submissives alike.
1. HOW SUBMISSION SHOULD BE USED AND GIVEN: submission is a prize, and should always be treated as such. When a submissive first meets a prospective Dominant, they should hold their submission until such time that they feel they have come to know them very well, and have a shining and near absolute trust for the Dominant in question. At such a time, the submissive may then offer their submission to that Dominant, at which point the Dominant takes control over the submissive, and holds such power as is agreed upon within the relationship. At this point the Dominant should create a safe word with their new submissive, a word which may be the sole power left to the submissive during the duration of the relationship. At any point, a submissive may withdraw their submission from the Dominant they gave it to, and end the relationship. A Dominant holds no sway over when a submissive may offer, or take back their submission.
2. HOW A DOMINANT OR DOM-PLAYER CAN DAMAGE YOUR SUBMISSION: Anything that damages a submissive’s ability to trust, is a danger their submission. Any individual that attempts to lie or manipulate a submissive that does not belong to them, in the hopes of obtaining temporary benefits from that submissive, is in a position to damage their submission. Dominants can do damage to submission in situations involving abuse, exploring non-mutual kink, playing outside their relationship without discussion, bringing individuals into their relationship without discussion, or any other activity that hurts their submissive physically, mentally, or emotionally that results in a breach and damage of trust.
3. HOW A SUBMISSIVE CAN DAMAGE THEIR OWN SUBMISSION: A submissive’s pull to have a Dominant, and be rid of control, can be very powerful. It can cause them to treat their own submission with a lack of respect, and place it in a position to be abused, and damaged. Any time a submissive offers their submission to someone without first getting to know them well, and trusting them highly, they place themselves at higher risk of having their trust betrayed, causing damage to that part of them that is needed to establish strong trust with someone when offering their submission again. Submission should be given based on earned trust, not blind trust. Giving someone else control over you, your life, care, and sexuality, is a huge act of trust, and needs to be treated with the highest level of respect by submissives. Submissives should make Dominants rigorously earn their submission, by requiring a Dominant to get to know them, asking the dominant to be open about themselves, deciphering the submissive’s needs, outlying the future care the submissive can expect from the Dominant, and demanding the Dominant display patience, by waiting to receive their submission until such time as they are certain they are ready to offer it.
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