Arnyia's Writing Corner

Welcome to my writing corner. It's a little place I call home for my fanfiction and other fun pieces of writing. Enjoy! || She/Her || 30-Something Old Female || Writer ||

[arnyia]

Personal Writing

Just a quick link to my website with all of my personal writing pieces.

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Fanfiction Directory

Here is a quick directory of my fanfics. They will take you to each fanfictions' masterworks' page, and will be separated by fandom.

Apothecary Diaries

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels

Hazbin Hotel

Shadow's Paradise (Coming Soon)

The Amazing Digital Circus

Kaleidoscope (Coming Soon)

Stitched Together

Future Stories Coming Soon...

[arnyia]

Stitched Together Chapter 3: Fragile Existence

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"I see," Kinger said. He slumped in his spot on the blue couch. Beside him, Zooble was embracing a crying Gangle. "And where is she now?"

"Locked in her room," Jax said from beside Pomni. She watched as he tossed the key onto the table in front of them before glancing up at him, his expression blank. He didn't look at her, only stared at the key he had just tossed away. She turned back to looking at her hands in her lap. She felt numb sitting next to him on the purple couch. She couldn't really remember getting there. Had she walked? Or did he carry her? Did she really care? Not really, she decided. Just that he was close to her; real close.

"Why though?" Gangle asked through her tears, the question not really aimed at anyone of them particularly. No one seemed to know why; no one spoke up. Silence falling onto the group.

After a while she felt Jax take a shuddering deep breath. "When I first arrived," Jax spoke suddenly. "It was just Kinger, Ragatha, Kaufmo," he paused. "And Ribbit." Pomni looked at him - he was still starring at the key. "I, uh, I… well, I…started hanging out with Kaufmo, and Ribbit. Like as… friends." He said the last word almost too quiet, almost as if he was afraid to. He cleared his throat. "Anyways, I noticed Ragatha started keeping an eye on us. I thought maybe she was watching me, but I realized pretty quickly it was actually Ribbit she was watching. I wasn't sure… I didn't know… if maybe," He took a moment to rub the back of his neck. "If something happened between them before I came along. But it was like Ribbit didn't notice, or didn't want to notice. Or she was too focused on other…stuff. I don't know, she was just sorta oblivious to it. But then…" He took another deep breath, and seemed to be struggling to say the next part, opening and closing his mouth several times, before he finally spoke again. "Things…happened… Ribbit abstracted. And Ragatha… she- she changed. She tried to isolate herself, and she…" he paused again, swallowing hard. "Caine's stupid adventures helped. So did you two," He finally turned towards Zooble and Gangle, indicating them. He then turned to look at Pomni. "And then you came. And she finally started to act like her old self again."

“Oh.” Zooble suddenly said. Gangle seemed to also understand, looking over to Pomni with a sad look.

“What?” Pomni asked.

“Pompom,” Jax reached over and took her hand in his, causing her to look up at him. He wore a soft expression, his ears falling flat against his head. “Ragatha…she… she had a crush on you. And before that…”

“Ribbit,” Zooble finished for him.

“What?” Pomni stuttered. “But she… That’s not….We were just….” She desperately tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. Jax squeezed her hand, letting her know he was still there. “But why didn’t she say anything?” She asked, her voice small.

“Old habits are hard to break,” Kinger spoke softly. “Even lifelong ones from before the circus.”

Pomni started to zone out, a few tears falling against her wishes. How had she missed the signs? She was normally pretty good at reading people, and yet, somewhere along the way, she had missed something. Maybe during the lightning round? She had started to feel kinda bad for Jax, with everyone seemingly picking on him, and she really hadn't noticed Ragatha. Or maybe the gun adventure, when Jax finally started to act actually genuine around her. She had asked Ragatha if she wanted to partner up, but Pomni had thought she rejected her because of bad blood between her and Jax. Now Pomni wondered if it was more than that.

She suddenly felt Jax squeeze her hand again, pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked up to find him watching her, his ears still down, his eyebrows furrowed as his big eyes held nothing but concern.

"-do you mean, Kinger?" Gangle was asking.

She looked back over in time to see Kinger adjust the bucket on his head before he spoke. "I can't say for certain, but I've always gotten the sense that Ragatha was expected to uphold certain old fashioned tendencies. There were some things she did that felt more engrained in her, like she had to do them regardless of whether or not she wanted to."

"Like her excessive kindness?" Jax threw out there.

"Mm," Kinger acknowledged. "Amongst other things. But that was back when she first arrived. She seemed to relax over time, with only the occasional old habit popping up every now and then. I think….accepting her true feelings was one of those things. Although, I imagine there were some things she just couldn't shake, no matter how much time she spent here."

“Oh,” Jax said quietly, looking a little guilty.

“Okay, so I get her having acceptance issues. But what does that have to do with her abstracting?”Zooble asked. “Why now?”

Jax suddenly turned away from the group. As she watched him, an old fear started building up in her stomach and memories from the past few weeks suddenly assaulted her, witnessing them with a newfound understanding. Ragatha avoiding her and Jax; Ragatha watching her and Jax arriving together and leaving together; her running away from Ragatha towards Jax. Oh god. She had caused this. It was all her fault. She had chosen Jax over Ragatha, and now her best friend was gone.

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It's all my fault

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Jax whipped his head around. Pomni had let go of his hand and was now hugging herself, rocking back and forth as she muttered the same line over and over. He quickly moved so he was standing right in front of her, grabbing her shoulders with both hands.

"No, no it's not. Pomni, look at me, this is not your fault." She didn't meet his gaze. Her eyes were squiggles again, and it seemed like nothing he was saying was getting through.

"What's going on?" Zooble spoke, alarm in their voice.

"She's blaming herself," Jax snapped back, annoyed at how obvious it was.

"But it isn't, right?" Gangle asked innocently.

Jax bit back a scoff. Because in some ways, it was her fault. She didn't cause the abstraction, but her actions definitely didn't help. And he could relate to that. The feeling of pushing someone to brink, it was an all too familiar feeling. He mentally shook his head, he couldn't dwell on those thoughts right now, not with Pomni so close to the edge herself. He had to calm her down. He immediately thought of his purring, but they were still out in the open. He could ignore the fact that everyone else knew they were close, but there was still a fine line of just how much he was willing to share. If he could just get back to her room. Then…

He readjusted and picked Pomni up bridal style, slipping his right arm under her knees and his left around her back, then he stood up. He had taken two, maybe three steps before Zooble suddenly stopped him.

"Wait, where are you going?" He gritted his teeth. He didn't have time for this. "What's going on? Why is she-"

"Because she chose me over Ragatha!" he snapped. "I was about to go off and abstract, and she knew it, and she stopped me! Made me promise to stay! And Rags… she saw it all, okay? She was late again, and," he glanced down at Pomni, her body trembling in his arms. He growled in frustration and turned back towards the bedroom hallway, this time with no objections.

He focused on the floor in front of him; a well-worn path he'd spent the last several weeks traveling time and time again. He knew where to turn, where to stop, where to sidestep around one of the many holes that still needed fixing, until finally he stood before the door bearing the sad little jester's face. He started to adjust Pomni, when a ribboned hand suddenly grabbed the knob and pushed the door open. He turned to find Gangle, a small smile on her face, her ribbon hands fidgeting slightly. Behind her a ways stood Kinger and Zooble, one of Kinger's gloved hands on their shoulder, holding them back. Jax could only give a small nod before stepping inside, the door automatically closing behind him.

Jax tried to ignore the fact that the others were probably still standing right outside the door, resisting the urge to try and listen for them. He instead turned his focus back towards Pomni. Within the safety of her bedroom, he could relax a little, and could almost instantly feel the comforting thrum raising from deep within his chest. Carefully, he settled into the makeshift bed, holding her tightly against him as he purred. He watched as she started to instinctively lean closer into him, her eyes slowly turning back into their normal red and blue pinwheels, before closing altogether. He decided against laying her down, choosing instead to continue to hold her out of the sheer fear of her dreams turning into nightmares that would no doubt haunt her.

He adjusted his legs, stretching them out as he leaned back, and finally let his ears twist towards the sounds beyond her bedroom door. There were definitely whispers, but they were spoken almost too low for him to make out any real words. Or maybe he just didn't want to hear the words, afraid of what they might actually be saying. He sighed and shifted his focus back to Pomni, listening to her heartbeat, it's staccato beats articulating against the steady hum of his purring.

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Pomni felt weightless in Jax's arms. He was purring. The sensation surprisingly comforting. She knew it had to be horribly embarrassing for him, yet he had done it countless times for her without her ever having to ask him too. It made her happy, knowing full well that he would never do it for anyone else, nor around anyone else. Which was strange, because the last thing she could remember was that they were sitting in the common area discussing… something. Her mind stubbornly refused to supply what exactly, and honestly, sitting there in his arms, listening to his purring, she wasn't sure she wanted to remember. Slowly, she opened her eyes to see Jax; his face emotionless; his eyes focused on a point somewhere in front of him. His beautiful irises partially blown. She had always found it cute: how expressive his eyes were. Not that she would ever tell him… probably.

He glanced down suddenly, catching her staring at him. He gave her a small smile in return.

"Pom," he said softly. He turned away briefly and took a deep breath. "You know it's not your fault, right?" He asked, still turned away from her. She tried to follow what he meant, thinking back to what had happened before she'd fallen asleep. The memories hit her with so much force that she physically started to tremble. He looked back down at her, nothing but concern all over his face.

"It really isn't." he said softly.

"But I hurt her," she said quietly, tears already starting to fall again.

Her vision blurred through the tears, and she tried to close her eyes tightly to keep them from flowing. She put a hand on his chest, his short fur soft under her touch, and tried to focus on anything other than her ragged breaths and trembling body. She leaned in closer, his purring somehow even stronger. She desperately tried to let it sooth her, to calm her back down.

"Hey hey, it's okay," he said softly. "Just focus on me. Okay?"

She tried. She really tried. But the pained looks, the rejected feelings, they were burring her alive. How could she call herself a friend and then completely miss every important signal. She was so stupi-

Her eyes flew open as she felt an unusual sensation against her lips. He was close, real close. His own eyes closed. It took her an embarrassing long moment to realize his mouth was against hers, embracing her in a kiss that was wholly and completely unexpected, but entirely welcomed. When he finally broke the kiss, he stayed close, hovering above her only a few inches. His expression had hardened a little as he slightly panted.

"You are not stupid," he told her, his voice soft and velvety, but firm. His eyes scanned her face for some sort of understanding. As the words registered with her, she realized she had been speaking out loud.

"I-"

He didn't let her finish, leaning back in for another kiss. This time she reciprocated. Deepening it a little more as she reached up, grasping the base of his ear with her hand. He moaned into to mouth at the touch, his purring seemingly getting even louder. She felt herself slowly fall downwards, landing on something soft before he finally broke the kiss and pulled away slightly. Though not too far; her fingers still rubbing the base of his ear.

"Promise me you won't leave me alone?" He whispered, his voice pleading. Fresh tears slipped from the corner of her eyes as she understood the implications. Her own words echoing back at her.

"I promise," she whispered back, and reached up with both of her hands to pull him back into another kiss. "I promise." She whispered against his lips.

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Author's Note: I swear to god this chapter was not supposed to end this way. But it was just too good not too.

By the way, I don't intend to make this story explicit. If anything, there will be suggestive commentary, but nothing too x-rated. However, I am not opposed to the possibility of making extra side stories that may be explicit.

Ugh, writing this chapter kinda sucked. Mostly because I was constantly struggling to make sure it was subtle enough, but not too subtle.

Also, I should probably mention that I am certain there are some issues with my grammar. I'm a creative writer whose always struggled with grammar. If you notice something blatantly obvious, let me know so I can fix it. I am also more than happy to answer any questions you have.

Lastly, do not get used to this writing speed. I write fast, but not usually this fast. I've just been a little obsessed lately, and this story has really been helping me cope with my life issues. That said, I've already started the next chapter. So LETS GO!!!

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[arnyia]

Stitched Together Chapter 2: Embraces & Silence

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Jax felt Pomni start to stir. He glanced over in time to catch her rubbing the sleep from her eyes before she blinked and looked back at him. They stayed there, frozen in their shared gaze, before Pomni finally turned and looked towards her door. He watched as she physically slumped, as if the sheer weight of the thought of leaving the room was almost too much to bear.

As Jax watched her, he felt a sudden desire take hold of him. Before he could give the thought a second chance, he reached over, pulled her closer to him, and nuzzled against her neck. She let out a soft giggle and leaned into him, letting herself be completely cocooned by his body and long limbs.

Neither one of them spoke as they sat there, him cuddling her. They’re heartbeats strangely calm and soothing. He felt her give a sigh before nestling deeper into him. He himself content enough to drift off.

***

In the week that followed, Ragatha had made a total of 4 more appearances, before she stopped coming out of her room altogether. Jax had counted each one, watched as she purposely avoided Pomni and him, and followed her with his eyes as she left a short while after. Each time she came out, she seemed to spend less and less time there, only talking to Gangle, Zooble, and Kinger when she did. After the third appearance, Zooble had caught him watching her leave, approaching him a short time later.

“Do you know what’s going on with Ragatha?” They asked, catching Jax off guard.

“Fuck if I know. It’s not like she talks to me.” Zooble narrowed their eyes, but didn’t seem to have a response and turned to leave. It took him a second to realize how unusual he must’ve sounded right now, but in the grey of it all, he didn’t really care. “Has she come out here when we haven’t been here?” He asked before he could stop himself. As he spoke, he nodded towards Pomni who was working on a section of floor a few yards away.

Zooble shook their head. “I don’t think so. I wasn’t really paying attention though.” They turned to head back over to Gangle before pausing. “It’s just she sounded off today. More than usual.” And with that, they walked away.

Ragatha’s fourth and last appearance of the week came a few days later. Jax had looked up just as she had entered the atrium, watching as she be-lined it for Gangle and Zooble, saying something to each of them before making her way over to Kinger. The old chess piece seemed to sense something more and tried to hold on to her a little tighter, but she shrugged him off and made her exit just as quickly.

“Maybe I should go talk to her?” Pomni spoke up beside him. He shrugged but didn’t vocally object. “Promise me you’ll wait for me in my room.” She added, her voice gaining a fearful edge to it.

“Of course,” he said quietly, and watched as she left in the same direction as Ragatha.

Alone for the first time in weeks, he tried to focus on the spot they were working on. But he soon found conjuring to be a bit more difficult without her there with him. Had he really become so dependent on her presence? It didn’t help that another voice was telling him that now was the perfect time to sneak away. To finally end it all. But a second later, his mind supplied the image of panicked Pomni desperately trying to find him, only to find something else instead. It startled him something fierce.

“Fuck this,” he muttered to himself, and set off for her bedroom. At least in there, those thoughts rarely surfaced. It was strange really, how her bedroom had become a sort of refuge. He was calmer there, even when she wasn’t there with him - which granted had  been very rare these past few weeks, but the point still stands. He felt like he could relax and actually breath. That the reality of their situation wasn’t so dire and grey.

As he approached her bedroom door, he saw her standing outside Ragatha’s. He instinctively tried to block out what was being said in an attempt to give them just a moment of privacy. It was the least he could do given how much he’d fucked up. He all but dived into her room, using the blankets and pillows to try and block any sounds from outside, cursing his stupid rabbit hearing. He had mostly succeeded, only catching a few pleas from Pomni as she tried to get Ragatha to open up.

He closed his eyes and could feel the edges of sleep start to take him when he felt a soft touch on his leg. Instinctively, he kicked, instantly regretting it when he heard Pomni yelp.

“Shit!” He cried out, throwing the blankets and pillows off of him to check on her. She was on the ground between him and the door, looking more startled then wounded. Before she could say anything, he reached out and grabbed her, dragging her over to him and into a hug. “I really didn’t mean to,” he said into her ear.

“I know Jax. It’s okay.”

Jax froze. There was something about her voice that wasn’t right. It wasn’t as cheerful or happy…or as optimistic as it had been as of late. But there was something else there now too. Regret; sorrow; hopelessness; defeat. He pushed her back a little to see her face, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

“I’ve never heard her speak like that before.” She said quietly. He pulled her back towards him again. “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice was so small, it broke him.

“You won’t be. I’ll be here.” His own voice trembled slightly. “I’ll stay right here for as long as you want.” He could feel her body shudder in a poor attempt to keep back yet even more sobbing. He tried rubbing her back again, hating how simple it felt. Oh how he wished he could do more for her, like take away all of the pain or banish the fear. He hated watching her be reduced to tears time and time again.

A thought suddenly came to mind. It was something he had once discovered accidentally, and had worked hard to keep it from ever resurfacing ever since. It was embarrassing, really, but if it might help her, then it would be worth it. He closed his eyes and reached deep into himself. He’d never been able to do it on command, so he wasn’t sure he could do it now, only to be surprised when he felt it. It started low in his chest, slowly getting louder and stronger.

“Are you…purring?” Pomni asked softly into his chest, her voice hiccupping through her tears.

Jax bit back a groan, but didn’t stop the low thrum in his chest. “Yes.” He said, almost too quietly.

“I didn’t know you could do that.” Her voice was a little lighter, the sobbing having lessened substantially. It was working, it was actually fucking working.

“I didn’t really want people to know I could,” he admitted. She made a small noise of affirmation.

They sat there in silence for a long while, the only sound in the room was of him purring. He had to admit it was kind of strange and weird, but at least she had calmed down. He’d take the win even if it did make him slightly uncomfortable.

“Thank you,” she breathed ever so softly, before slipping in a seemingly peaceful slumber. A new feeling began to worm its way through him. A warmth he hadn’t felt in ages. With it, a sense of pride fell over him as he realized there was something only he could do to help her, something he wanted to do again and again for her. As if this was why he was the way he was, to be here for her in these trying times. The strange, uncomfortable embarrassment morphed into something he didn’t dare name, but wasn’t all that against exploring further.

“Your welcome,” he replied softly, despite knowing she couldn’t hear him in her slumber. With another gentle kiss on the top of her head, he laid back slightly satisfied and let his purring lull him to sleep.

***

“I’m really worried,” Gangle said, twisting the ends of her ribbon hands. Jax had to bite his tongue to keep from pointing out that if she kept it up, she was gonna tie herself up in knots. Sure, he was an ass, but one look at Pomni’s expression told him now wasn’t the time for jokes. Nor did he want to dwell on the fact that the new growing feelings he’d been having lately made him reconsider how he acted toward the others, especially when around her.

“And you’re sure she hasn’t come out of her room lately?” Pomni asked, bringing Jax’s attention back to the matter at hand. Zooble and Gangle had approached them as soon as they had entered the atrium with concerns about Ragatha. After her final appearance the week before, she hadn’t been seen since. Zooble and Gangle had been able to at least speak to her, but only through the door. And Pomni gave up trying after the last time, the hurt from the doll’s words still too raw for the jester.

“She told us she was okay and just wanted some time alone, but she hasn’t come out yet.” Zooble added. “And Kinger said he hasn’t had much luck either. We were hoping maybe you could reach her.” They looked towards Pomni first, who simply shook her head side to side, then towards Jax.

“Don’t look at me. I’ve been on her shit list since the day Caine was deleted.” He watched as everyone’s eyes seemed to widen in varying degrees at this bit of revelation.

“What…what do you mean?” Gangle asked at the same time Zooble said “What did you do?”

Jax stiffened a bit and glanced towards Pomni. He really didn’t want to say anything, knowing she would take it bad. So, after swallowing the growing lump in his throat, he decided to give what he hoped would be the safest answer possible. “Oh you know, just ancient history. Seems like old Rags got a bit resentful about the past.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the whole truth.

Zooble glared at him, but seemed to accept the answer. It was, after all, a known fact that there was some bad history between them.

“I’m sure she’ll pop her head back out when she done sulking,” he tried to casually reassure them. “I mean, shes still talking to you through the door, right?”

Gangle shook her head side to side. “That’s just it - it’s been three days since she last spoke to us.”

Jax’s ears fell as he registered the words. There was pit in his stomach as a sense of dread fell over him. A quick glance to the others suggested they were having similar concerns. He looked over to Pomni, who looked like she was trying her hardest not to jump to the obvious conclusion and was blinking back tears.

“Do you have a key to her room?” Zooble asked, their voice surprisingly lacking any trace of accusation. Jax nodded.

Without another word, Zooble led them back down the bedroom hallway, stopping right in front of Ragatha’s bedroom door.

“Ragatha?” Zooble called out while knocking on her door. “Are you in there?” Silence. “If you don’t answer, we’re opening the door and coming in.” Still no answer.

Zooble turned back to Jax and motioned to him before moving out of the way. Jax fished out Ragatha’s key from his front pocket and stepped forward, slipping the key into the lock.

“Wait,” Gangle suddenly said, stopping him for turning the key. “What do we do if she’s…” She didn’t finish the sentence. They all knew what she meant.

Zooble’s eyes widened. “Fuck. Without Caine here….” Their words died out as everyone else realized with a sudden horror that they were ill-equipped to handle a raging abstraction.

“Maybe she’s okay,” Pomni finally spoke, her voice unsurprisingly hallow. “Maybe we don’t have to worry about that.” Jax turned to Zooble and shared a knowing look.

Jax turned back toward the doorknob. He realized it could very well be the only thing keeping them safe from a potentially abstracted Ragatha. With one last deep breath, he turned the key and slowly opened the door, keeping his had firmly on the knob just in case. The room beyond was dark. Jax scanned around the room looking for signs before his attention was brought to one corner of the room where an unnatural darkness lurked. As he watched, rainbow eyes opened up all over the form, their gazes wildly looking around before they all seemed to settle on him. Jax quickly pulled the door back closed. His hands trembled as he tried to turn the key in the lock. The key finally turned and was yanked out as a sudden banging from the other side made him jump backwards.

“no…no no no nonono,” Pomni muttered beside him. He glanced at her, panicking when he saw her eyes were wide; her irises squiggles. He quickly pulled her to him, embracing her in a tight hug as he himself tried to grapple with reality behind Ragatha’s door.

“Now what?” Gangle asked.

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Author's Note:

Another chapter done. I actually didn't expect this one to be done so fast.

I really like this chapter, especially the part about Jax's purring. I personally prefer the headcanon that he purrs from his chest rather than the chittering rabbits can do. I also have always loved the idea that it is something he only does for Pomni, especially when she needs comforting. (It also lowkey reminds me of my own kitty who was a big purrer right up to the day she died)

Lastly, I hadn't meant for this entire chapter to be told from Jax's POV, it just sorta happened that way. I'll be doing some Pomni POV next chapter for sure.

Thanks for reading!

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[arnyia]

Stitched Together Chapter 1: Please

Masterpost || Next>>

"Scratch was... trying to make a brain scanner. I didn't think it actually worked." Kinger spoke. "We didn't know how to work with the files and they were impossibly small given what they were supposed to be…." His voice seemed to fade away.

Pomni couldn't think straight. This entire time, they were just copies, the originals long gone. An impenetrable silence suddenly fell over her - the entire world going mute around her. She didn't see Ragatha collapse, or Zooble breaking. She didn't see Gangle dissolve, or Jax leaving. She didn't even see Kinger, only the hopelessness of it all.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed there, frozen in shock. But when she finally looked, there was Kinger, trying to awkwardly repair the circus. She wasn't sure why, but she went to help him. It was certainly better then wallowing in the grey reality of the truth; easier to focus on something then horror of it all.

Gangle joined them a little later. Followed by Zooble. Even Ragatha, who still looked hallow, had come to try her hand at conjuring. Only Jax had stayed distant, watching from afar. Pomni paused mid-conjure and looked at him, their eyes meeting. She could see how close he was to giving up. To end it all the circus way. A sudden fear gripped her digital heart as a thought suddenly came to mind.

I don't want to lose him, not yet!

Jax broke the gaze and turned away. With each step he took, the fear gripped Pomni harder still. She had to move, to run. She had to stop him before it was too late. With every ounce of effort she could summon, she forced her legs to move, first a brisk walk, then a full out run. Within seconds she turned the corner and saw him just a little further. She didn't slow down, tackling him from behind and knocking him forward from the full force of her running.

"don't go don't go don’t go don’t go," she repeated over and over. They stayed like for minute - him on his knees on the ground, her hugging him from behind repeating the same two words.

"Pomni," he finally spoke.

She couldn't stop the sob that broke her mantra. "Please, don't go."

"I…" Jax started, his voice breaking.

"I can't go on without you," Pomni interrupted him. "There is no future here without you. There would be no reason to go forward, to keep fighting. Without you, I would be lost. Without you, there is nothing. I swear to god if you go, then I'll go with you! I ca--"

"POMNI!" Jax had turned and placed both hands on her shoulders. She looked at him and saw an expression she didn't recognize.

"Please," she said quietly, tears already falling. "Please don't leave me alone."

Jax swallowed, then pulled Pomni into a tight hug, embracing her as her tears turned into heartbreaking sobs. "I won't," he said quietly into her ear. She continued to cry, from fear or relief, she wasn't sure. "I won't," he reiterated as he started rubbing large circles on her back, a gesture that was far more comforting than she realized.

After a moment, she felt him stiffen, then seem to relax again. She then felt herself being picked up and carried. She wasn’t sure where, but a few moments later, she felt Jax stop and sit back down. Curious, she finally pushed back to get a better view of where they were, and was slightly surprised to see the others not too far away. Everyone was still working on recreating the floor. Well, almost everyone; Ragatha wasn’t there anymore. She turned back to Jax, realizing he was still holding her, and watched as he watched everyone else.

"Do you want to learn?" she asked quietly. He looked down at her, finally realizing himself that he was still embracing her and quickly dropped his arms. "Here," she scooted back a little, taking his silence as permission. Step by step, with a gentle slowness, she guided him. She wasn't all that great herself, but after a few tries, he finally made something. He made a few more attempts after that before finally stopping. She was okay with this. It was enough. Just for now, it was enough.

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Jax sat with his knees pulled up to his chest. He was in Pomni's room, on a bed made of dozens of blankets and pillows she had absconded with from who knows where. They had spent a little longer with the others before he could see exhaustion quickly setting in on her small frame. She hadn't objected when he suggested she go sleep, only grabbing at the fabric of his overalls as she stood. He understood, and followed her to her door, where she had hesitated.

"Will you stay with me?" she had asked, her voice barely audible. Had it not been for his rabbit ears, he might not have heard her.

"Sure," he had responded. Her look of sheer surprise suggested she hadn't meant to say the thought out loud, but the expression quickly morphed into relief.

So there he was, sitting on a makeshift bed of blankets and pillows on the floor right next to her bed. He glanced up to see her sleeping form, completely relaxed. It would be so easy to sneak away now, to give into the temptation that had been haunting him for so long now. To just let go and be rid of it all.

Why couldn't you have gone and abstracted already!

Jax stiffened as the memory resurfaced. He had never heard the doll speak with such venom - such spite - like she had then. He had just reassured Pomni that he wouldn't leave her, when he saw Ragatha, a familiar look of hatred plastered to her face. She spoke the words so quietly, he was certain Pomni hadn't heard them. But he had. And she knew he had.

He should abstract. That would make her happy. To be rid of him once and for all. To ease the pain he'd caused her time and time again. It would be so simple.

He closed his eyes.

If you go, then I'll go with you!

Jax's eyes quickly opened again as he scanned the bed just to reassure himself she hadn't abstracted. It wasn't an empty promise or a threat, it was a guarantee, and he knew it. If he abstracted, she would too. And the thought of her abstracting was far more painful than he'd ever admit. When had she wormed her way into his heart this badly. That the mere thought of watching her abstract would stop him. He had pushed his own best friend to abstraction, watched her become a thing of inky blackness with beautiful eyes. Sure, he'd regretted it. He'd regretted it every day since. Even came to accept it to some extent. But the thought of seeing Pomni like that, it shook him to his core.

He shook the thought from his mind, and let himself fall over onto some pillows, his eyelids heavy with exhaustion. Maybe a few hours of sleep wouldn't hurt.

***

The sounds of sobbing stirred him awake. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd drifted off, only grateful that it had been dreamless and dark. He opened his eyes, panicking for moment as quickly remembered he was in Pomni's room.

Pomni!

He sat up quickly and looked to the bed. She was still there, curled up and sobbing. A nightmare maybe? Her whole body shook as she made no attempt to quiet the sobs that tore through her. He couldn't stand to watch for a second longer, repositioning himself so he could reach up and grab her arm. She flinched at his touch and quickly glanced around till her eyes found him.

"Come here," he said softly, pulling her closer towards him and off the bed. She didn't object, gratefully accepting his comfort as he pulled her closer into an embrace. Her crying had lessoned, but not completely as he began to rub her back and arms in what he hoped were comforting gestures. She hadn't questioned his actions, only leaned into them more. He himself had given up trying to understand what he was doing, having decided that the mask could stay down until later, when they were out of the room and around the others.

Eventually, she quieted. Her tears subsided. He glanced down to see she had fallen back asleep in his arms. He considered pushing her away, before recoiling in disgust at the idea. That alone made him question how this had happened. How had he fallen so deeply for the little jester. The very thought of seeing her unhappy and crying being so awful that he do anything to prevent it, even if it meant abandoning his own desires to find escape through abstraction.

He physically shook his head to stop that line of thinking. Instead, he took comfort in their closeness and closed his eyes again, letting sleep take him quickly.

***

The days began to bleed into each other. Jax and Pomni would join the others in repairing the circus, before sneaking off together to sleep in Pomni's room. Jax knew that at least Zooble and Gangle had caught them leaving together on more than one occasion, but there was no mention or teasing about it like he had expected, and Jax wasn't about to question it either. Everyone seemed to just be existing at that point, accepting their strange new normal. 

At first, Ragatha was almost always present. She would talk to the others about one thing or another, but her laugh sounded hollow and forced. It reminded Jax of a time long before Pomni had joined them, when it seemed that Ragatha was simply going through the motions but wasn't really there. Back then, Caine was there to help distract, keeping Ragatha too busy and distracted to focus on her inner turmoil. The others had also been there too - both old and new faces. They kept the doll from focusing too much on the past. And in time, her laugh started to sound genuine again. She wasn't healed, just better.

Now though, it seemed as if things were worse than ever. And it wasn't just the situation. It happened one day, maybe about a week later. Jax watched as Pommi had decided to drift a little further from him than she had in days, trying to get close to Ragatha to initiate a conversation. He knew they hadn't spoken since she tackled him. Since Ragatha had made that comment. He had seen how Ragatha had purposely distanced herself from Pomni and him, and how it had hurt Pomni more than she let on. She would take comfort in his arms at night, crying herself to sleep, no doubt dealing with the constant turmoil of seemingly having chosen a side without meaning too or realizing she had. He would hear her mutter apologies in her sleep, to him or to her, he wasn't sure. Maybe both, he had decided as she clung to him for comfort, which he had since found that he was more than willing to give in the privacy of her bedroom.

He didn't stop her from trying to approach the doll, only watching to see how it would unfold. He heard Pomni say something corny, trying to break the ice that had frozen over their friendship. He watched as it didn't land as she'd hoped, as Ragatha didn't respond as Pomni had wanted, and how the conversation ended just as quickly as it had begun. He watched as Pomni watched Ragatha walk away from her, and could see the little jester tremble as she tried to hold back tears. He braced himself as she turned back to him, catching her expression as one of shock and complete confusion, before melting into complete and utter dejection. He stiffened as he waited for inevitable, only to freeze as she turned and bolted straight towards the bedroom hallway. It took him a second too long to process; to realize he needed to go after her. His only saving grace was that his long legs allowed him to run faster, barely catching the door of her room just as she tried to close it behind her. He forced the door open and scooped her up, cradling her as she wailed. He closed the door with his foot and carried her to the nest of blankets and pillows that had become their stronghold.

He didn't bother counting time. Just held her tightly against him as she grieved a broken friendship. He didn't try to stop her, only held her close. He waited patiently as the sobbing lessoned, till she eventually went silent. He listened to her breathing till he recognized the pattern she would always develop when she finally drifted to sleep. The exhaustion of losing something dear finally catching up to her.

As he looked down at her sleeping form, his mind began to process. He wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault, to put the blame firmly on Ragatha’s shoulders. But he know Pomni wouldn’t want that. She would continue to insist it was her fault. Of, if he was lucky, she’d blame him. After all, he was the one who had pushed her away, only to cave the minute she broke. Somewhere down the line, the fear of losing her had become too unbearable. Even keeping details that might shed light on Ragatha’s latest actions felt like an act of betrayal, one that would only hurt Pomni if - no when - she found out. But he was also too scared to tell her. The fear of her hating him had somehow drowned out the fear of her finding everything out. No, he needed to tell her, and soon. Maybe not right when she woke up, but at least sometime in the near future. And he would tell her everything, lay it all out in the open. To her, he would be an open book.

Why couldn't you have gone and abstracted already!

He winced. Well, maybe not everything. There were somethings that just didn't need to be repeated, ever. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then leaned back against the pillows, mentally rehearsing the words that would eventually be needed.

-----------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I’m sorry if Jax doesn’t seem like his normal self in this. I’ve tried to replicate it as best as I can right now, but I feel like I’m lacking. And there’s a good reason why. Last month, my beloved black cat got really sick. Unfortunately, it was too much, and so I made the really difficult decision to have her put to sleep earlier this week. I got her when she was kitten, and had an amazing ten years with her, but I really do miss her a lot.

Throughout it all, Jax has sort of become an emotional support character for me. I’ve been able to drawn out the sorrows for a bit whenever I read comics or fanfics. And by extension, the TADC cast (particularly Michael, Ashley, Lizzie, Amanda, and Marissa) and their shenanigans when playing games (like peak and fast food simulator) have also helped. But now, after everything, all I really want is some sweet, cute Jax cuddles, which was where my mind and heart were when I wrote this.

So please, just let me have this moment.

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[arnyia]

Stitched Together

A masterpost for my fanfic Stitched Together. I will be simultaneously posting it here and on AO3.

Chapters: 1 - Please 2 - Embraces & Silence 3 - Fragile Existence 4 - [Coming Soon]

[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 6 Update

It's still coming... still working on it. I think I'm half done, but life happens, and new fandoms and new story ideas don't help. I haven't abandoned it yet!

[arnyia]

Welp, finally got around to adding a link to my personal website. I'm still working on fleshing it out with some of my writing, but it's getting there.

[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 5: A Garden Stroll

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Maomao was enjoying a freshly brewed cup of tea out in the garden courtyard of her pavilion when Suiren appeared with Xiaolan right behind her, both ladies-in-waiting giving her a courtesy bow.

“The Moon Prince wishes for you to join him for breakfast this morning,” Suiren announced and then excused herself to finish preparing the meal.

Maomao couldn’t help thinking how unexpected and unusual the request was as she watched Xiaolan disappear towards her bedroom. Up until now, they had only ever had dinner together, and she had been thankful for that given how awkward those dinners had become. Now, she was slightly concerned. The prince was up to something if he was demanding her attendance to breakfast now too. She thought back to the conversation they had had during dinner the night before, but shook her head to keep from dwelling on it.

Maomao sighed, finished the last of the tea in her cup, then headed inside. Xiaolan was already pulling out an elaborate outfit, preparing to dress Maomao to perfection. She wanted to tell the younger girl to put it back and pull out something simpler, but she had spent the entire evening last night imagining the lecture her mother and teacher would’ve given her if they knew the disastrous events of the evening before. To casually assume the prince wouldn’t ever drop by unannounced was a mistake on her part. But then to appear dressed so plainly before him, and even speak so rudely, it really had been quite improper of her. Xiaolan was right, she needed to be at her best today, especially if the prince was up to something. After all, she had her role to play, regardless of whether or not she wanted to play it.

The prince was already seated when Maomao arrived. For the exception of his mask, he wore substantially different robes than his normal attire. The outer robe was a darker shade of purple, while the robes underneath were of a lighter shade of purple. The robes were embellished with gold trimmings and embroidery.

Maomao bowed then took her seat. She watched as Suiren served them both, and waited for the prince to start eating. He wasted no time silently taking mouthful after mouthful, while she began delicately picking her way through the meal. It was yet another awkward meal, and she couldn’t help but wonder why he even bothered — practically forcing them into even more awful meals.

She diligently ensured that her posture was perfect, her movements precise, and each portion of food small. She had gotten too relaxed in these last two weeks, and she could practically feel the disapproving looks of her mother and teacher. Sure, the prince didn’t seem to be angry at her slip up, but her mothers voice was louder: she knew better. She was the crown princes’ consort. The first of many women selected to bear his children. She had to be perfect.

She had been so absorbed in her every action that she hadn’t noticed that the prince had stopped eating. A moderately filled spoon stopped midair as she finally noticed the lack of movement across from her. His eyes watched her; those deep amethyst eyes that were still impossible to read, completely focused on her. After several long moments, Maomao set the spoon back in the dish and adjusted herself to sit even more impossibly straighter, earning the slightest of eyebrow raises from him. They sat there, staring each other down across the table, until the prince finally leaned back, folded his arms over his chest and crossed one leg over the other.

“I’ve decided to take the day off today,” he announced. “And I intend to spend it with you.”

Maomao discreetly moved her hands to her lap, clenching them tightly to keep from visibly showing her emotions. She had been honestly grateful he hadn’t wanted to take her to bed. Yet. But she knew it was only a matter of time before he did. It was her duty — she knew that — but it hadn’t made the thought any easier to swallow. No matter how many times she had been told of what was expected of her over last five years, of the lessons and teachings, even going so far to have discreetly witnessed the act personally, her nerves still got the better of her. Nothing had calmed her more than to be able to escape to her garden following discussions of the particular subject. And now she didn’t even have that luxury. She repeated his words in her mind: to spend it with her. The whole day. He couldn’t possibly have that kind of stamina.

“I thought we could start by having breakfast together, then maybe take a stroll through the garden, and see where the day takes us from there,” the prince added.

Maomao couldn’t contain her obvious surprise this time as her perfect façade all but shattered, blinking her wide eyes several times before finally finding her voice. “A stroll sir?”

The prince chuckled. “Yes. Through the main garden.”

Maomao could only nod. She had to admit, it was an unusual act to begin with, but she also couldn’t say no. If that was what he wanted to do before bedding with her, then so be it.

“Sure, your highness. Did you want to leave now?” She asked, her nerves making it impossible to do anything else, and she really would like to avoid accidentally throwing up right in front of the Moon Prince.

“You haven’t finished eating have you?” He asked, his voice laced with concern.

“I have,” she confirmed. And even if she wasn’t, she didn’t want to gorge herself, just in case they ended up in bed later.

The prince just looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed, but didn’t object. He stood up, and waited for her to stand, then lead the way out of the palace. When they were outside, he repositioned himself so he was walking next to her, not in front, and adjusted his pace to accommodate her smaller stride. As they walked side by side, a deafening silence settled over the two.

The main garden wasn't far from the palace, situated in a far corner of the grounds, almost directly opposite of the consort pavilion. The garden was well maintained, featuring plenty of plants, trees, and bushes, but not many flowers. The prince began guiding Maomao towards the center of the garden which stood a beautifully ornate pagoda that overlooked a small pond. He gestured for her to sit on a bench in the pagoda before taking a seat next to her. She felt her heart beat a little faster upon realizing just how close the Moon Prince was, having registered the fact that it was the first time they ever sat so close together.

"I thought there might be some flowers," the prince said.

"It's still too early for them," Maomao responded without thinking.

"I suppose you're right." The prince looked around the garden, before crossing his arms and leaning back. "I had let the gardeners plant whatever here when they asked - I didn't really have a reason to ask for anything specific. But if there's something you would like, feel free to let me know and I'll have it planted."

"Thank you your highness, but that's really not necessary." Maomao suddenly took great interest in the fabric of her dress, preferring to keep her eyes on her lap than anywhere in the beautiful garden. The prince didn't speak, but she felt him watching her.

"Do you not like the garden?" he finally asked. She was trying to figure out how to respond when he added, "I could have it ripped out if you would prefer. Have it replaced with something more to your liking."

"Huh?" She finally faced him, his eyes so close and yet so impossible to read in that moment.

"You don't seem to be enjoying the garden right now; you've hardly looked at it. In fact, you seem even more tense than before. Perhaps it was a mistake bringing you here. We should leave and I'll issue the order to have it removed in the morning."

Panic started to set in as the prince stood up. Maomao raced to figure out what to say  — how to respond appropriately. She knew she couldn't say what she wanted to, but she didn't want to say what she had to either. She felt like she was trying to grasp at water, and was becoming inevitably frustrated as it kept slipping through her fingers. As she watched the prince take one final step at the edge of the pagoda, she could no longer think straight.

"I love the garden," she blurted out, stopping the prince in his tracks and causing him to turn back towards her.

"Then why don't you look like your enjoying it?"

"It's…complicated." he raised an eyebrow. "Please, I shouldn't speak of it in front of you."

He crossed his arms but didn't move to sit back down. "And what if I want you to?"

"It's not proper." She wanted to look down, to look anywhere but at the man she would spend the rest of her life with nor the garden she'd love nothing more than to get dirty in.

"I don't care about what's proper. I care about you," he finally stepped towards her and gently lifted her chin so her eyes were forced to meet his. "I care about you being bored. That whatever interest you once had you're now forcing yourself to avoid. I won't watch you suffer here because it isn't proper. And I have no intention of forcing you not to do something you want too simply because it isn't proper. From now on, I'll be the judge of what is and isn't proper. So please pr—," he stopped and closed his eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath. "Maomao, what is it that you're hiding?"

It was the sound of his voice speaking her name for the first time that broke her. She had every intention to defy him as best as she could until that moment. But like a dam breaking loose, the pleading of his voice, the desperation to understand, it flooded her body and dissolved her resolution. With a sigh, she caved.

"I like to garden. To get my hands dirty with the earth and cultivate the plants. I find it quite calming really," she said in a quiet voice.

"Then I'll make it so you can garden."

"Really?" She looked up at him and watched as he returned to sit next to her again.

"Yes. If not here then I'll find somewhere on the grounds where you can."

"I'll need equipment. And supplies. And…" her voice trailed off as another thought came to mind.

"What is it?"

"Well… it would be a waste to cultivate the plants and then not use them," she admitted.

The prince tilted his head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Did you know I was raised by my unc— I mean my great uncle? Until he was reinstated as a palace physician." The prince shook his head to indicate that he didn't know. "Well I was. I was naturally a curious child, and he thought that it wouldn't hurt to give me some basic knowledge on plants and medicine. You see, he worked as an apothecary then, and what started out as a lesson here or there quickly grew into pure fascination. I loved it honestly. I'd probably be an apothecary now if not for, well, you know." The prince nodded. "Anyways, he taught me how to plant, grow, cultivate, and then use all kinds of plants."

She let a strange silence fall over them.

"But?" the prince asked.

Maomao sighed. "But when I was preparing to come here, my family gave me some ultimatums. Not gardening was one of them. And not making anything including medicines is another."

The prince shook his head. "You live here with me now, if you wish to make medicine, I don't see the harm."

"Really?"

"Yes." The prince took the opportunity to look around. "Are you familiar with the plants that are here in the garden now?" Maomao nodded. "Could you tell me about them?"

"Sure," she said and stood. The prince followed her then hesitated.

"After you go change into something that’s a little less formal. And from now on, unless there's an event or a special occasion, there's no need to dress so elaborate."

Maomao bowed then quickly turned, grateful for the opportunity to get out of the dress and hairdo. As she walked back towards her pavilion, she couldn't help feeling relieved. Not only had she completely misread the situation earlier, but she was starting to feel like her old self again. Maybe, just maybe, living with the crown prince as his consort might not be all that bad after all. 

***

Zuigetsu’s plan had worked. Sort of. He had had a sneaking suspicion that Maomao would be back to her careful doll-like persona that morning, and he had to break her once and for all. But he couldn’t help but grimace as he thought back to his words — his empty threat of destroying the garden. Sure, she hadn’t wanted that to happen as he had correctly assumed, but it also hadn’t been enough. He was determined to keep for losing her again, and in a moment of sheer desperation, he decided to use her name to try and finally get through to her. And it worked. He was beyond elated how it worked. So much so that in that moment, he resolved to no longer hide himself either. It was time for the mask to finally come off. 

By the time Maomao had returned, Zuigetsu was finishing a cup of tea Suiren had brought. He quickly noticed that she was now wearing a much lighter hanfu and a simpler hairstyle with only a single hairpin of a design he wasn't familiar with. Seeing the hairpin reminded him that he had yet to gift her one, and that he should change that soon. For now though, he set down the empty cup and met her halfway to the pagoda. She gave him yet another courtesy bow, which he wished she wouldn't but decided to tackle that issue later, then let her lead him to a nearby plant.

Zuigetsu was left in a daze. She knew way more about plants than he realized, and he grew more fascinated with her with each plant she described. However, it didn't take him long to notice a peculiar pattern. Anytime a plant had a dangerous or poisonous element to it - which alarmingly was quite often - Maomao seemed to downright glow and she talked about it. A strange sparkle would ignite in her eyes, and she would get the softest of sincere smiles. She would also talk way more enthusiastic. It was as if her entire demeanor shifted and she was a completely different person.

It actually reminded Zuigetsu of a certain strategist, and it took him a minute to remember that she was actually related to said person, which left him thinking back to her family. It was a well-known fact that almost every La Clan member was an eccentric in their own right, with Lakan embodying a true eccentric right to his core. However, what made each member an eccentric wasn't just their personalities or habits, but their downright strange obsessions with one particular thing. For Lakan, the head of the clan himself, it was strategy, which went hand in hand with Go and Shogi. Lakan's adopted son and nephew by blood, Lahan, was obsessed with numbers. Zuigetsu was sure there were others, both living and dead, but he now realized he was intently watching yet another eccentric La Clan member. He was certain of it: the La Clan princess herself was obsessed with poison. However, unlike her male relatives, whose eccentric obsessions have always freaked Zuigetsu out or just plain annoyed him, he found Maomao's obsession of poison somewhat endearing. He couldn't help smiling as he watch her go on and on about this plant's poisonous leaves or that plants poisonous stem. He was also starting to understand why her family was so insistent on trying to hide her interests. Poison wasn't exactly a topic that could be lightly discussed over tea. Still, he was certain she wouldn't misuse her knowledge of poison, nor would he dampen the sparkle in her eyes that he was quickly growing fond of. But he also had to be certain of it; he needed her to admit it. He hoped he could coax it out of her without any real fight.

"Maomao," he called to her, interrupting her explanation of some plant. As she turned to face him, he saw the tender smile that brushed across her lips. He couldn't help but wonder if that was in response to him finally calling her by her name again or the subject she was explaining. "I know about the peculiarity of the La Clan. How each member has a certain subject or area that they’re intrigued with." He took a step closer to her and took both of her hands in his. "I promise I won't be upset or mad or angry. I just want to know if you have that same trait."

She stared down at their joined hands for a long time. Finally she spoke without looking up, her voice small, practically a whisper.

"Yes."

"It's poison, isn't it?"

Her face whipped up fast, her eyes wide with fear. "How did you know?"

He smiled at her in a simple gesture, then mentally kicked himself upon remembering he was still wearing the mask. "You get really excited and animated when you talk about poison. It's actually quite amusing to watch really." She sighed and looked away. It looked to him as if the topic was safe enough to discuss when masked by the perception of talking about something else. But on its own, it seemed forbidden. "Another ultimatum?"

She nodded.

"Are there any others?"

"Just one," she said and hesitated for a moment. Just as Zuigetsu feared she would refuse, she pulled back the fabric over her left arm. Old scars and markings covered her forearm. "Back when I was living with my great-uncle, I used to experiment with poisons and remedies on myself. But I was forbidden to continue such experiments once I moved back into the family estate and began my consort training."

"Wait, you didn't consume poison too," Zuigetsu questioned, trying hard to keep his voice light.

"I did."

"Why?"

"Why not. I wanted to see what it felt like and build up a tolerance," she explained.

He visibly shuddered at the thought. "So then are there poisons you won't be susceptible to?"

She shook her head. "No. I would've needed to maintain a healthy level of consumption to keep up my tolerance. I haven't had a single drop of poison in the better part of five years now. But if I were to somehow consume poison without my knowledge, I would still have some reaction, just not as bad as it could be. Of course, that’s assuming that’s possible. I know what most poisons smell, taste, or feel like. And as long as there's a good emetic agent on hand, any accidental poisonings could be quickly handled. Probably."

Zuigetsu stood there watching her in disbelief. He could only shake his head at the absurdity of it all.

"Look, I don’t care about the gardening or the poisons, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist you continue to follow that last rule, if for nothing else than your own health." He hated having to reinforce one of her family's ultimatums, but he couldn't bear the thought of her harming herself.

"I know."

An awkward silence fell over them as they stood there in the garden. Zuigetsu wasn't really sure what to say after that. He watch her fidget nervously under his masked gaze. He swallowed, deciding that if there was ever a time to finally reveal himself, it was now.

"Maomao," he started, earning her full attention back on him again. "One of the reasons I decided to spend the day with you today was to get know you better. To start to understand you, and figure out who you really are." He reached out towards her and took one of her hands in his. "But I also wanted you to get to know me as well. Which is why--" he let go of her hand and started to undo the ties of the mask. His nerves were getting the better of him as his hands sook and the knot suddenly seemed impossible to untie.

"You don't have to," she offered, causing him to pause in his attempt.

"But I want to," he said, almost pouting.

"Then let me," Maomao said, reaching up with her hands.

Zuigetsu straightened a little, then glanced around until he spotted a bench not too far away. He took her hand and led her to the bench where he proceeded to sit down on the edge, leaning forward a bit to give her better access. He closed his eyes as she got close enough for him to pick up her delicate floral scent. He felt the ties loosen under her fingers and the mask falling away to reveal his cursed beauty. He waited, listening for her reaction, and only opened his eyes when he realized she hadn't moved. He scanned her face for any sign of her reaction but only found a neutral expression as she took in the truth he'd been hiding. From the corner of his eye he saw her raise a hand towards his face, only to stop just short of touching him. As she started to let her hand fall back, he quickly grabbed it and brought it up to his cheek, letting her gently caress his skin. He continued to barely hold her hand as she casually guided her fingers down to his lips with her index finger lingering over them for just a few moments longer before finally pulling her hand away. He quickly grabbed her hand again and brought the back of her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

”Why?" she asked.

"What?”

"Why did you hide behind the mask?"

He'd expected the question, and knew that she deserved an answer. As he considered his response, he used the hand he still held and guided her to sit down on the bench next to him, adjusting so he could still see her as she sat.

"I’m not ignorant, I know how I look. But I wanted your first impressions of me to not be based on my appearance. And truthfully, I was afraid. I thought it would be easier to play into the rumors I know you no doubt have heard of, and tell you the truth later.”

Zuigetsu sat there staring out into the garden. It wasn’t until he felt Maomao’s hand twitch that he realized he was still holding it. He quickly let go, mumbling a small apology, but saw out of the corner of his eye that she didn’t move her hand away.

“There’s something else,” he started, wanting to tell her everything and not anything else from her. “Another reason I used the mask.” He took a deep breath trying to figure out how best to say it. “People know me as someone else. Not the crown prince or moon prince. But, um, well…” he hid his face with both of his hands as he desperately tried to find the words to explain the whole situation to her. “They think I’m Jinshi, the manager of the rear court, and a eunuch.” He had said that last part really quietly.

After several long moments, she finally spoke. “Are you, you know…”

It took him only a moment to realize what she was asking. He quickly bolted upright and turned to her.

“No! No, nonono. It’s just an act.” He quickly reassured her. “And a concoction to help…” he trailed off, seeing that she understood what he was getting at.

They sat in awkward silence. This time, Zuigetsu knew it was his fault and tried to think of something — anything — to end the awkwardness. He was about to make a lame comment on the nice weather when Maomao suddenly stood up.  He watched as she walked towards a cluster of plants a short distance away, then gracefully knelt down in front of them. Zuigetsu came up next her to her as she was examining the leaves with her hands. She put her hand to her chin and looked like she was really considering something. He couldn’t help but watch her, surprising himself by how taken with her he had become in such a short period of time. Then just as suddenly her whole posture seemed to shift.

“This was all a mistake,” she muttered and stood, her posture nearly perfect.

Zuigetsu grabbed her hand again. “I thought I made myself clear — no more of that.”

“I can’t help it, my mother’s voice is louder.”

“How about we head inside and you can give me a detailed list of everything you’ll need. I imagine I’ll have to procure all new equipment, as I doubt I can send for your old ones — it’ll tip off your family that you’ve broken their rules.”

She nodded in agreement.

And with that, he led them inside.

---

Bonus:

Meanwhile, Lihaku: O _ O Gaoshun: You will not speak about this. Lihaku: nope.

I hadn't forgotten about him, just didn't know how to put him in there. He's there, just silently watching.

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[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 4: Learning to Live

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It had been almost two whole weeks to the day since Maomao had arrived at the Crown Prince’s palace. During that time, she had spent much of those days working on her embroidery or struggling through ever-predictable novels. Several finished embroidery pieces lay completed on her desk, with no idea of what to do with them. Beside them were several novels she was desperately trying to get through. However, she could hardly stomach the romance ones, and could figure out the mystery ones long before they ended.

She was bored. Truly and utterly bored.

Maomao had started a daily routine of walking around the palace, making a point to stop at each of the many gardens around. She would always linger a little longer at the garden by the kitchen, hoping to steal a glance at the clump of mushrooms that lay just out of sight. She had been quite proud of herself for not giving in to temptation for nearly two weeks, but she was starting to lose her resolve. And Xiaolan wasn’t helping either.

“What if I picked them for you?” She asked, having followed Maomao on her daily ritual.

“No,” Maomao sighed. “It’d be just as if I had done it myself. And I mustn’t.”

When Maomao had begun her consort training, she had been given four ultimatums: do not garden; do not make anything; do not use herself as a test subject; and do not interact, mention, or think about poisons. Her family had been clear about these conditions, and even though they still let her interact with the gardens and make medicines right up to the day before she left, they were very clear that those ultimatums were to be strictly followed the moment she entered the palace. Much to her own despair. 

“Oh!” A voice said from behind them. The pair turned to see Suiren standing there, slightly surprised.

“Lady Maomao, Xiaolan.” She said, bowing. “I wonder if I might borrow Xiaolan for the afternoon. I need some help in the kitchen, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I was just about to head back to my room,” Maomao said, nodding to Xiaolan, who bowed in return and then followed Suiren into the kitchen.

Maomao started for her pavilion, aware that she wasn’t alone as Lihaku followed several paces behind her. As she entered, she paused long enough to see Lihaku take up residence in her sitting room with a book of his own, before heading to her own room. She didn’t bother closing the door, strolling over to the vanity to take out all of the ridiculous hair ornaments, then used a damp cloth to wipe away what little makeup she was wearing. Freed of the weight on her head and face, she slipped out of her outer robes and collapsed onto the bed in the least elegant way possible, choosing to let sleep rid her of her constant boredom.

As she lay there, she thought of her time back at the estate, when she could still enjoy gardening and making things with her herbs in between her many lessons. She had even pivoted and started using her vast knowledge of plants to help make perfumes, makeup, and even nail polish — all things she thought might be acceptable. Sure, they weren’t medicine or remedies, but she had thought that they would be more acceptable. Sadly, she had been forbidden from taking any of her supplies with her. It just wasn’t what a consort was expected to do. She should have foreseen the inescapable boredom that was to come.

She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping that the nap would eat away the time before another inevitable, awkwardly silent dinner with the Moon Prince in a few hours.

***

Zuigetsu was exhausted. The day had begun in the wee hours of the morning, when darkness still enveloped the world and long before the sun was set to rise. A messenger had come to deliver news of Lady Gyokuyou going into labor. Zuigetsu, as Master Jinshi, had initially gone to check on the consort, only to feel foolish when it was pointed out that there was still plenty of time before the baby was expected to come. Still, he wanted to stay close by and decided to take residence in one of the offices in the rear court to work on some of his backlog of paperwork as he waited. He ordered regular updates, so when it was time, he could be there. The princess finally came late that morning.

Zuigetsu couldn’t help feeling guilty at the fact that he had been slightly disappointed. He had been hoping for a boy. Still, the moment he saw his father’s loving expression as he held his tiny half-sister’s body, all of his negative emotions dissipated, leaving him feeling more exhausted than before. Zuigetsu finally decided it was time to leave. He bid the new mother, her daughter, and their father farewell, then turned and left the room.

However, as he was just about to pass the threshold of the Jade Pavilion, his father’s voice sounded from behind him.

“Hold up. I wanted to speak with you.”

Zuigetsu turned and followed the emperor into a sitting room on the lower floor. His father didn’t bother with taking a seat, no doubt intending for the conversation to be quick.

“I wanted to ask how things were with the girl,” he said quietly when Zuigetsu was close enough.

Zuigetsu was slightly taken aback by the question. “Everything’s fine.” He said, unsure how to answer the question as his tired mind tried to figure out what girl his father meant.

“Hmm,” the emperor said as he stroked his beard. “Because from what I’ve heard, the two of you have hardly spent any time together short of awkward silent dinners.”

The princess's image finally came to mind as Zuigetsu tried to swallow down the discomfort of nearly two weeks' worth of tense evenings. He didn’t need to ask who had told on him and simply retorted with “I’ve been busy.”

“I know. I want you to consider taking a day or two off and actually spend some time with her.” He stepped closer to Zuigetsu and put a hand on his shoulder. “I want the two of you to get to know each other.” Zuigetsu nodded. “Good! Then if you’ll excuse me, I wish to hold my daughter some more.” And with that, the emperor left.

Zuigetsu didn’t linger in the room for long and finally exited the Jade Pavilion. He decided to partially take up his father’s suggestion, taking the rest of the day off and headed for the palace he now called home.

Stopping just outside of the secret entrance, Zuigetsu struggled more than usual to put on the mask. He nearly gave up out of frustration, but his resolve not to show his face to the princess just yet pushed him to keep trying. Afterward, he made his way into the palace, having to navigate around small barracks that were being constructed to solve the princess’s guards' sleeping arrangements. Both Zuigetsu and Gaoshun agreed that the best compromise was to build a small three-room barracks just past the garden entrance of the consort pavilion. During the night, the main entrance could be barred shut, leaving the garden entrance the only other way into the consort pavilion.

Zuigetsu paused just past the incomplete barracks. It was quiet; there were only a couple of voices that trailed from the direction of the kitchen at the moment. The men doing the construction weren’t there today due to the fact that they could only work when Gaoshun was present to ensure none of them tried anything with the princess. Furthermore, it also meant that the princess had to be extra careful during those days when they were there, often choosing to wear a veil when she went out just in case. Or so he’d been told.

He wasn’t sure what spurred him — perhaps maybe the conversation with his father had something to do with it — but he found himself walking towards the consort pavilion. In the two weeks since she had arrived, he had had no intention of ever stepping foot in the pavilion — never mind bedding with her, the sheer thought of it had been unappealing before. Regardless, he had to accept that there was something about her that was different. She didn't swoon over him like most of the women did in the rear court; granted, she hadn't seen his face yet, but that had hardly stopped others before. And she had given him nothing but absolute respect, which was expected of his stature, even if it did slightly annoy him; although, he was starting to find her rigid politeness unbearable. Part of him wanted to break her, to find out if there was more to her than the polite, respectful doll that he’d been given. And he hadn't failed to notice her eyes: how bright they had been when she first arrived, only to seemingly grow duller with every passing day. Plus, he was getting tired of the silent dinners; there had to be a way to get past the awkwardness. Perhaps his father had been right.

Zuigetsu stopped before the main door to the pavilion. He briefly considered turning around and heading to his own room, but quickly decided against that and entered. He paused for a moment, glancing into the sitting room. When the military officer, Lihaku, saw him, the man started to stand. But with a wave of his hand, the man sat back down and resumed reading. If Lihaku was there, that meant so was the princess. Zuigetsu steeled his nerves to turn back again and started down the hallway that led to the bedroom. The door was open, and as he stepped inside, he raised his hand to knock, only to hesitate. From where he stood, he could see her still form lying on the bed. Curious, he thought better of making a sound, and instead quietly approached the bed.

Her long hair was entirely loose, save for two small chunks that were still bound in silver bindings. What little makeup she usually wore had been completely removed. He had thought that she looked quite beautiful all made up, but now he could see that her plain face and undone hair were just as beautiful. He stood there for several moments, watching as her body moved with each breath, her peaceful, natural expression too serene to disturb.

Zuigetsu glanced around the room till he spotted what he was looking for: a blanket that had been folded up and placed over the back of a chair. Careful not to wake her, he gently covered her small form with the blanket, pausing to watch as she unconsciously sank into the warm blanket. He smiled and decided to leave as his own exhaustion was starting to become more apparent.

As he turned, the sight of a small desk littered with various things caught his attention. Several embroidery projects and novels cluttered the top. He picked up one particularly interesting piece of embroidery to examine more closely when he paused. Lying just under the piece of fabric was a book, but unlike the other books on the table, this one wasn’t a novel — it seemed to be about nothing but mushrooms. It was definitely a curious piece of literature to have, especially for a consort. Intrigued, Zuigetsu replaced the embroidery piece, taking a moment to trace the simple flower and petal design on it before finally taking his leave. As he walked back to his own room, he started to really consider his father’s advice.

***

“Lady Maomao!”

Maomao woke to Xiaolan's exasperated cry. As she sluggishly rubbed her eyes, she tried to get her bearings. She had only intended to take a small nap, short enough that she would still have time to start the process of getting made back up for dinner. But the warm hues of a setting sun outside her window was all she needed to realize just how late she had slept. As she begrudgingly removed herself out from under the blanket that no doubt was the source of her lengthier nap, she tried her best to stifle back a yawn.

“Had I known you had undone your hair and makeup, I would’ve come sooner,” Xiaolan was saying as she worked frantically to up Maomao’s hair into a half-decent hairstyle. “Ugh! There’s just no time. I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to go with something more simpler tonight.”

In all honesty, Maomao didn’t mind a simpler hairstyle. She actually preferred it. Still, as Xiaolan bustled about complaining about the constraint of time, Maomao couldn’t help wanting to tease the girl just a bit.

“You know, if you hadn’t covered me up with the blanket, I would’ve woken up sooner.”

Xiaolan froze mid-brushstroke. “I didn’t.”

Maomao blinked. “Suiren must have then.”

Xiaolan shook her head. “I was with Lady Suiren in the kitchen right up until I came here to get you. She never left and neither did I.”

This time, Maomao frowned. If Xiaolan didn’t cover her up, and Suiren didn’t, then Maomao couldn’t help but wonder who did. The only other person there with her was her guard.

“Lihaku!” She called. A few moments later, the man entered her room. However, he didn’t dare take more than a few steps inside and kept his head lowered to the ground. “Did you come into my room?”

Lihaku shook his head. “I did not.”

“Then who did?”

“The Crown Prince.” Maomao froze. It was not as if he wasn’t allowed to enter her room, but from the way he acted that very first night, she had assumed he might never step foot in her bedroom. Let alone while she was sleeping and unaware. Sure, she was grateful for the blanket, but beyond that, she was conflicted, unsure how to feel. She knew she was his consort, that it was in his right to do what he pleased, but she had also relaxed in his apparent reluctance.

Xiaolan resumed working on her hair. A sudden stab from one of the hairpins broke Maomao out of her reverie, and she quickly put on her makeup. As Xiaolan took a step back to look over her work, she clicked her tongue in disapproval of the result.

“Far too simple,” she muttered.

“There’s nothing that can be done about it now. I’m probably late as it is,” Maomao said in an attempt to console her Lady-In-Waiting. She took one last look at her overall image, then stood and left the pavilion.

She wasn’t surprised to find the prince already there when she arrived. She gracefully hurried to her seat, bowing to the prince before she sat.

“I apologize for my tardiness. I had laid down to take a nap and overslept.” Maomao wanted to add more, but knew better and bit her tongue. 

The prince didn’t respond right away. Instead, he began looking over her, his eyes surveying her entire appearance.

“Have you not been sleeping well?” He finally asked.

Maomao was slightly taken aback. “No, that’s not it at all. I’ve been sleeping just fine your highness. It was just that I was—” she stopped herself. Her boredom wasn’t his problem.

At one point in time, she knew exactly how to entertain herself. But now that most of those activities had been labeled taboo by her family, she was struggling to find other forms of entertainment that were appropriate for consorts.

“Please continue,” the prince asked.

“It was nothing. I must have been tired. That’s all.”

“You just said you weren't. And I don’t think that’s it either.” He leaned forward. “You were going to say something else. I want to know what you were going to say.”

“Please, your highness. I assure you I—”

“Don’t make me order you to say it,” he threatened in a teasing voice.

Maomao sighed reluctantly, forcing herself not to glare at the crown prince.

“I was bored.” She finally confessed.

He sat back. “You fell asleep because you were bored?” He reiterated.

“Yes.” Her voice was straining to remain neutral.

“And you’re late because you were asleep.”

“Yes.” She said again, her patience all but gone. “A fact you’re fully aware of because you covered me up!”

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. But to her genuine surprise, the prince only chuckled.

“It’s about time you showed me something other than that refined politeness,” he remarked with not an ounce of anger in his voice. “You’re right, I did know. I also know that you have in your possession a book that most women in your position wouldn’t normally have.”

Maomao thought back to the books she brought. Truth was, she had a lot of books that most women in her position wouldn’t usually have. It had been her compromise: she would agree to follow the ultimatums as long as she could still bring her books on the subjects.

Just then, Suiren arrived with their food. Maomao waited for the prince to start eating, but he remained still and wholly focused on her instead. She could feel his gaze on her as she tried to think of what book he might be referring to.

“Tell me, why does someone such as yourself need literature on mushrooms?” The prince asked.

Maomao couldn’t hide the look of realization. She had forgotten that she had brought that book out to see what kind of mushrooms were growing in the back garden. It had gotten buried on her desk, yet not buried enough if he found it. As she desperately tried to figure out a way to explain herself, the prince finally picked up his chopsticks and started eating. However, Maomao just sat there, staring at her food.

“Eat.” The prince said. The lightness that had been in his voice was gone — this was an order.

Maomao did as she was told and began to eat. They ate in silence, but she knew the conversation wasn’t over. He was probably just giving her time to calm down. She couldn’t help but wonder what he might do if he knew the truth; the truth behind her boredom; behind that book; even the truth that lay permanently scarred on her arm. She couldn’t help but wonder if she could even tell him the truth. And she feared what might happen to her if she did say it.

***

Zuigetsu sat there as Suiren finished washing his hair. His thoughts had been consumed with the princess’s reactions earlier at dinner. Her reactions were really quite intriguing, and he so wanted to keep pushing her, to get her to cave and stop fighting his questions. Not only had he gotten her to break her doll façade, but he now understood why her eyes had started to dull: she was bored here in the palace with him. He wanted to know more, but feared that if he had kept going during dinner, she might not eat at all, and that wouldn’t be good — she was surprisingly quite thin. So he backed down; however, he had no intention to stop pursuing the topic.

He tried to recall what the women in the rear court did on a daily basis to pass the time. He knew there were tea parties and small gatherings, and that they often ran around together in small groups. He also knew that they would participate in hobbies that were deemed acceptable, such as the ones the princess had described back on her first full day at the palace. Surely the princess had interests in something that would’ve kept her from feeling so bored. He considered the refined politeness she always showed and her reluctance. Perhaps she did have something that interested her, but for whatever reason, she couldn't do it anymore.

He sighed. She was now stuck in this gilded cage with him; the last thing he wanted was for her to be miserable, too. He was determined to figure out what would be needed to ease her boredom and make her happy.

“Suiren,” he called to her. She hummed inquisitively in response. “What does the princess do during the day to occupy herself?”

Suiren thought to herself for a moment. “She works on embroidery and reads. But the books don’t seem to occupy her interest for long; I've seen her reading lots of different novels but only for very short periods of time. And on several occasions she’s come to me asking to assist in some menial task. She knows I won’t let her, but she asks anyways. I’ve also seen her walking around the grounds often, visiting the gardens.”

Zuigetsu silently considered what Suiren told him as she began drying his hair. The embroidery piece he had traced earlier that day in the princess’s room suddenly came to mind. It had been one of many to feature flowers and plants, and he vaguely recalled the overall décor of the consort pavilion being done up in shades of green with floral motifs. Flowers had almost always been associated with consorts before, so Zuigetsu thought little of it. But now, he wondered if there was more to it than that. And that wasn't even considering the book on mushrooms. 

“Suiren, please let Gaoshun know that I will be taking the day off tomorrow. And please inform the princess that I would like for her to join me for breakfast in the morning.”

Suiren nodded. “If I may make a suggestion young master?”

“Go ahead.”

“If you wish for Lady Maomao to reveal herself, you might consider revealing yourself to her.” With that, Suiren left, leaving Zuigetsu alone with his thoughts and a rudimentary plan for the next day.

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[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 3: Buckwheat

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“Why didn’t you say anything last night?” Xiaolan asked. She was holding Maomao’s breakfast tray and was walking a step behind her. Xiaolan was heading to the kitchen to return the tray, and Maomao had decided to accompany her partway, having wanted to spend the morning getting a better look around the palace. However, before she could answer her lady-in-waiting, they turned the corner and came face-to-face with Suiren and Gaoshun conversing hastily in hushed voices until they both stopped and looked at her.

“Lady Maomao,” Suiren said with a bow as Gaoshun bowed beside her. She gave him a quick, pointed look, who in turn gave a sigh of resignation and nodded. “Could I trouble you for a moment?”

“Of course.”

“We couldn’t help but notice you didn’t eat much last night,” she started. “Was there something wrong with the food?”

Maomao internally sighed. So her father had forgotten. No doubt her mother will wreak havoc on him if she finds out. Beside her, Xiaolan nudged her, urging her to finally say something.

“It was the buckwheat. I can’t eat it.” Maomao tried her best to keep the deadpan tone out of her voice as much as possible. “If I consume even the smallest amount, I’ll start to develop a rash and will have difficulty breathing.”

Maomao watched as both of the prince’s servants' eyes grew wide in shock.

“Why didn’t you say something last night?” Suiren asked, her voice laden with concern.

Maomao looked down. “I wasn’t sure if I should speak out in front of the Moon Prince. And my father was supposed to inform him.”

“I can assure you he did not,” Gaoshun finally spoke. “And the Moon Prince would not have minded if you had spoken out. There was absolutely no need to potentially endanger yourself.”

“I suppose I should probably also mention that my great-uncle has medicine packets for each of you to hold onto. They’re for emergencies — in case I accidentally eat buckwheat.”

“I will go and retrieve them immediately. And inform the prince of this. You should know he was just as concerned.”

“I’ll make sure to apologize to him tonight for worrying him.”

“Forgive me for saying this, but this hardly seems like a subject that should be so easily forgotten,” Suiren said.

“It’s probably because my father hasn’t thought about it in a long time. Ever since it was discovered when I was four, he ensured that buckwheat never entered the property to prevent me from accidentally eating it or contaminating other food I might eat.”

“Contaminating other foods?” Suiren repeated. “Is that why you didn’t eat anything else on the dish?”

“Yes. Consuming anything that might have come into contact with buckwheat can cause even mild symptoms.” Maomao explained.

“If I may,” Xiaolan stepped forward. She waited till Surien nodded before continuing. “Dr. Kan gave me notes on how to take some precautions when dealing with this. He suggested I make sure there is absolutely no buckwheat anywhere in the vicinity of where I might be preparing Lady Maomao’s meals, and to thoroughly clean the area before cooking.”

“I think those are both wise suggestions. Gaoshun, can you take the remaining buckwheat with you?” Suiren asked. “I want it gone now before I deep clean the kitchen. I don’t dare make another meal until I know for certain the risk is gone.”

Gaoshun nodded and started to follow Suiren towards the kitchen when a sudden commotion came from the direction of the main gate. A few moments later, several men came into view. Maomao instinctively ducked behind Gaoshun as they approached.

“Forgive us, Master Gaoshun, but this man claims he is here on orders,” one of the men spoke.

Maomao stole a glance around the prince’s aide and recognized one of the men.

“Lihaku?” She said under her breath.

“You know him?” Gaoshun asked her quietly.

“Yes. He’s one of my father’s officers.” She replied just as quietly.

Gaoshun turned back to the other men. “It’s alright. We were expecting him. You may return to your post.”

Maomao waited till she could no longer hear the men’s retreating footsteps to step out from behind Gaoshun. There stood Lihaku in his officer's uniform, his eyes widening at the sight of her. Maomao internally groaned as she realized that, despite having visited her family estate multiple times, this was actually his first time seeing her without a veil.

“You’re as beautiful as your mother,” Lihaku commented, apparently unable to stop himself.

What happened next was inevitable: in a moment of complete annoyance, her true self finally surfaced.

“Really.” Maomao responded in her classic deadpan voice, accompanied by her famous annoyed glare. It lasted for all of five seconds before she realized her folly, but the damage had been done. She quickly glanced at Suiren, who had a mischievous sparkle in her eyes and a crooked, sly smile. Maomao then looked to Gaoshun, who only gave a heavy sigh and brought a hand up to his forehead.

“I mean, thank you,” Maomao corrected, trying desperately to save face.

Suiren chuckled softly and shook her head side to side. “I’ll go get the buckwheat,” and turned to head toward the kitchen.

While he waited, Gaoshun took the moment to reiterate the prince’s orders and apologize for not having a relief officer ready. He promised Lihaku that he would get right on it later that day.

“In the meantime, Suiren can help show you where you can stay until I hire someone.” Suiren had returned with a decent-sized crate just as he had finished speaking. Gaoshun quickly took the crate from the older lady-in-waiting, gave Maomao a courtesy bow, then turned and left.

"The princes’ orders are a little troublesome given the consort’s living quarters. But until we can find a better solution, I think the consorts' sitting room will do for now. I’ll make sure there is a bedroll for you by tonight," Suiren told Lihaku. "Miss Xiaolan, could you come help clean the kitchen?"

"I could come help too," Maomao offered.

"Absolutely not!" Suiren scolded her. "You are the Moon Prince's consort; you do not need to worry about servant tasks. Not to mention that you shouldn't be anywhere near the kitchen till it's completely clean."

“But the kitchen is probably quite large. If—”

“No.” Suiren interrupted her adamantly.

“This may not be ideal, but if Lady Maomao agreed to stay within the vicinity, I could help,” Lihaku offered.

Suiren considered the offer for a moment. “Alright,” she said, relenting, and turned to lead the others toward the kitchen.

As it so happened, there was a small garden that was near the kitchen. It wasn’t as close as Suiren would’ve liked, so instead she had Lihaku work on cleaning pots, pans, and other dishes in a basin outside where he could still see her. As for Maomao, it took her just a few minutes to identify the majority of the plants, many of them poisonous in some form or another. But her interest was drawn to the plants that hadn’t been purposely planted in the garden, like the small clump of mushrooms that had taken root at the base of a tree. It took every ounce of self-control not to reach down and pluck them. She forced herself to look away from them, cursing herself for not having brought something to do or read with her.

***

Zuigetsu had just finished his visit to the Crystal Pavilion when Gaoshun finally showed up. He looked slightly concerned, but gave him a small bow.

“Master Jinshi, I apologize for my tardiness.”

Zuigetsu just flashed him one of his famous Jinshi smiles and adjusted his stride to let his aide fall into step with him.

“Are you on your way to the medical office?” Gaoshun asked.

“Yes. I want to talk to Dr. Kan about Lady Gyokuyou and Lady Lihua,” Zuigetsu replied. The small sigh of relief Gaoshun had let out did not escape his notice. He wanted to inquire more about it, but they were passing a group of concubines.

“We need to talk to Dr. Kan privately,” Gaoshun said quietly as soon as the ladies were out of earshot.

Zuigetsu flashed him an inquisitive look with a raised eyebrow, but didn’t press the matter. No doubt this had something to do with the aide’s earlier sigh, and as curious as he was, the quiet tone Gaoshun took meant whatever this was about shouldn’t be conversed publicly. The only saving grace was that the medical office wasn’t that much further now.

Sure enough, they arrived a few minutes later. After brief salutations, Zuigetsu started right into the status of the two pregnant consorts. Dr. Kan had nothing but good remarks about the health of both women and their unborn children, much to Zuigetsu’s relief and appreciation. There was a short, awkward silence, at which point Gaoshun stepped forward.

“Dr. Kan, could we a have a word with you in private?”

The elder doctor nodded and then turned to the other doctor, who had become more of an assistant. “Guen, could you go pick up these supplies for me?” Dr. Kan asked, pulling a slip of paper from within his robes.

“Of course!” The other doctor responded, taking the paper. He then slipped out of the medical office, closing the door as he left.

“I imagine this is about the Moon Prince’s consort,” Dr. Kan said after a few moments, looking straight at the prince.  

Zuigetsu had long suspected that the good doctor had known who ‘Master Jinshi’ really was. But now, he all but admitted as much. To some extent, Zuigetsu was a bit relieved at the revelation. Sadly, the relief was short-lived as he struggled to keep his growing confusion from being so overly obvious and maintain a neutral expression.

Gaoshun nodded. “Yes. She told us you were preparing some medicine.”

“She did?” Dr. Kan raised an eyebrow. “I see. So Lakan forgot to mention it.”

“Yes.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised,” the doctor continued. “After all, the original plan was for me to be there so I could explain the particulars of the matter.”

It was Gaoshun’s turn to be surprised, his eyes widening slightly at the explanation. “She didn’t mention that.”

“Because she didn’t know. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“So why didn’t you come,” Zuigetsu asked.

“There was a sudden urgent matter that Dr. Liu needed my assistance on. It was hours before we settled it, and by then night had fallen. I knew it was too late and I would just have to hope that Lakan had filled in for me. But,” he added as he stood up and started moving towards the drawers of medicines. “It’s obvious to me that I’ll have to explain it now. First, I advise removing the substance from the vicinity.”

“We’ve already done that. And the kitchen is being thoroughly cleaned as we speak.” Gaoshun said, obviously more aware of what Dr. Kan was talking about than Zuigetsu was. He was starting to dislike being left out of the loop.

“Excellent.” The doctor handed Gaoshun some packets of medicine, who, in turn, passed a packet to Zuigetsu. “These contain a powder that can help counteract the symptoms, but you should still call for a doctor if you have to administer it. Ideally, myself or Dr. Liu, who is also aware of the situation.”

“How should it be administered?” Zuigetsu asked.

“Just pour the powder into her mouth and wash it down with some liquid. Not too much — don’t want to drawn the poor girl — just enough to get the medicine down so it can start working.”

Zuigetsu slipped the packet into his sleeve as Dr. Kan sat back down.

“Also, the medication isn’t good for forever. There’s a date on those packets. Make sure you come a get replacements before that date.”

“What happens if it’s used past the date?” Zuigetsu asked, legitimately curious.

“The medication won't work as effectively and could very well be the difference between life and death.”

Zuigetsu swallowed. He didn’t like the implication the doctor was making, and was starting to understand the gravity of the situation. There was definitely something serious going on, and he was going to have to corner Gaoshun to get the whole story.

“One last thing,” the doctor added. “I asked Dr. Liu to handle any of the consorts examinations. I thought it best for if and when our relation is revealed.” Zuigetsu cocked his head to the side, no longer able to contain his confusion. The doctor simply chuckled. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

Zuigetsu shook his head. Beside him, he heard his aide give a quiet sigh.

The doctor only smiled. “The girl is my great niece.”

Zuigetsu could only stutter in shock at how he had utterly missed the family connection.

 ——

Ten minutes later, after being dragged out of the medical office by Gaoshun, Zuigetsu cornered the aide. They stood under the shade of a tree in an empty, vast courtyard that guaranteed their conversation would be private.

“Mind filling me in?” He spat, dropping his Jinshi persona to glare at the man.

“The prince’s consort can’t eat buckwheat,” he responded in a hushed voice.

Some of Zuigetsu’s anger dissipated. “What do you mean she can’t eat buckwheat?”

“It causes her to have symptoms like hives and difficulty breathing.”

Zuigetsu immediately thought back to the comment Dr. Kan had made about life and death.

“Could she die?”

“Yes.”

Zuigetsu rapidly blinked and took several breaths as he began to digest what his aide was saying.

“Apparently, even consuming food that has been in contact with buckwheat can cause mild symptoms. I can only imagine it wouldn’t take much to cause severe symptoms.” Gaoshun continued.

A sudden realization hit Zuigetsu like a ten-ton boulder.

“That’s why she didn’t eat last night,” Zuigetsu said, his eyes wide with horror. Gaoshun nodded. Zuigetsu’s mind started racing, and a flurry of emotions bombarded him. As he opened his mouth to ask another question, his aide held up his hand.

“Master Jinshi,” a eunuch said from behind him.

Zuigetsu closed his eyes, taking exactly four deep breaths, then turned to face the eunuch, flashing him one of his famous smiles as he slipped back into his Jinshi persona. Beside him, Gaoshun bowed before excusing himself to take care of some things in the outer palace, leaving Zuigetsu alone. As he approached the eunuch to deal with whatever problem had arisen, he knew he would have to wait to get the rest of his answers.

 ——

It was the middle of the afternoon when Zuigetsu had finally decided he was done. After detangling himself from the various issues of the rear palace, he chose to skip going to his office, where there was no doubt several piles of paperwork waiting for him on his desk, and instead headed for the crown prince’s palace.

He sighed to himself. Despite having moved into the palace a few months ago, he still couldn’t get used to calling it ‘his palace’ — it simply just didn’t feel right. He knew it had to do with the unrealistic idea that he could someday shed the title of Crown Prince. But he feared that if he caved and called all that was ‘his’ his, he would lose the sliver of hope that he could somehow avoid succeeding his father as emperor.

As Zuigetsu entered the secret entrance of the palace, he stopped long enough to put on the black mask before making his way to the main building of the palace and to his sitting room. Within seconds, Suiren materialized, bowing and greeting him before leaving to fetch some tea. As he waited, he took a seat.

Soft footsteps approached him, and Zuigetsu looked up. He was greeted with the serene blue eyes of the princess.

“Your highness,” she spoke with a delicate bow. “I wanted to apologize for last night. I had chosen to remain silent because I thought that would be best.  I had no intention of worrying you or making you upset.”

Zuigetsu let out a deep sigh. “Please, sit.” She did as instructed. “I thought it was clear that I am now responsible for your health and safety. If there is something that puts your life in danger, I need to know immediately.” She nodded. “Now, is there anything else I should know about? Any other foods that could put your life in jeopardy?”

“No sir. Only Buckwheat.”

Suiren came in with a tray. She poured tea for both of them, then exited the room. As she left, Zuigetsu spotted a military officer lingering just outside the door that he didn’t recognize. He hadn’t realized he had been staring until he saw the princess physically move her head to see what he was looking at.

“Oh, that’s Lihaku. The guard my father assigned to me,” she said helpfully.

“I see.” He said, slightly relieved to see the guard taking his orders seriously. “Is he aware of your…situation?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Would you like him to be?” She sat a little straighter in surprise at the question. “I assume he’s trustworthy if your father trusts him enough with your life.”

She nodded. “It’s just that I’ve never really had a say in who knew. Even my Lady-In-Waiting was educated about it before I met her.”

“Then if I may, I’d like to suggest he be told, but I will not order it unless you’re okay with it.”

The princess looked back towards the guard. “If you think it’s best, then I’m fine with him knowing. But,” she paused and turned her attention to her hands in her lap. However, she didn’t seem eager to continue speaking.

“It’s okay, you can speak freely,” he urged her.

“But….I would really like not to be the one who tells him.”

Zuigetsu couldn’t help the small smile. “Very well. I’ll have Gaoshun do it.” She seemed satisfied with the resolution.

As they sat there in silence, Zuigetsu thought back to the dinner they had had the night before, how the princess had picked around the food on the plate and taken very few bites. A sudden worrying thought came to mind.

“You didn’t eat any of the buckwheat last night, right?” He asked.

“No. I did my best to pick around it.”

“But Gaoshun said that even food the was in contact with buckwheat could cause symptoms.”

“They can. Which was why I took a dose of medication last night just in case.”

“Is that safe? Should I call for the doctor?”

“There’s no need for a doctor sir. And the medication is safe to take even if there are no symptoms. At most, it’ll just cause some drowsiness.”

“I see.”

After several long minutes of silence, the princess pulled out a small piece of embroidery and began working on it. He watched her repetitive movements with the needle as a design was taking shape on the piece of fabric.

“Do you like to embroider?” He asked after a while.

“It passes the time.” She said in a more nonchalant tone. “I can’t play music or sing. I can dance, but I’m not that good at it.”

Zuigetsu couldn’t help but think that he’d like to be the judge of that someday; however, he didn’t dare say it out loud out of pure astonishment of even having the thought in the first place.

“But I’ve always been decent at sewing,” she continued. “So when I was preparing to be your consort, I picked up embroidery.”

Zuigetsu couldn’t help the scowl that formed at her statement. Despite it being true, he hated that she referred to herself as his. He wanted to change that, and was about to speak when Suiren stepped in and announced that dinner would be ready soon.

“I should go and freshen up before dinner,” the princess said and stood. He gave her a nod and watched as she bowed, turned, and headed towards her pavilion, the guard following her as she left.

“Young Master, a word?” Suiren asked.

“Go ahead.”

“I dislike the sleeping arrangement your order on her guard has created.” He raised an eyebrow, silently instructing her to explain. “Until another guard is assigned, Lihaku will be spending his nights in her sitting room as I absolutely refuse to have him one door away from her Lady-In-Waiting.”

Zuigetsu sat back and crossed his arms. “You’re right. This is not ideal. I’ll discuss it with Gaoshun after dinner. If you see him, please have him gather the plans for the palace, specifically those for the consort pavilion.” She nodded as he stood and left to remove the mask until dinner.

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[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 2: Entering the Palace

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Maomao was gazing out of the carriage window, but she wasn’t actually seeing the scenery that passed by as they made their way to the palace. She had been preparing for this day since her future had been decided when she was only twelve years old. Now, all those hours upon hours of training, and the constant reminders of her duty as a consort, all boiled down to the moment she stepped down from the carriage. She had been dressed in one of the finest gowns her family could buy. Her hair had been done up in an intricate design and contained a ridiculous amount of ornaments. Her makeup had been delicately applied to properly accentuate her distinctive features without overly masking them.

The carriage paused as they arrived at the palace gates. Maomao sighed and pulled the small curtain back over the window, concealing the world outside while hiding her image from curious onlookers. She would wait until they stopped for the final time to pull her veil up and over her face so as to save the first sight of her image for the Moon Prince himself.

As the carriage started moving again, Maomao gazed down at her hands as they shook nervously in her lap. She closed her eyes to focus on her heartbeat, its fast-paced rate further indication of her nerves getting the better of her. She took several deep breaths, hoping to calm down her racing heartbeat and settle her nerves. She had been prepared for this moment; she knew what was about to happen, and while she had no idea what the Moon Prince looked like — no one did really — she shouldn’t be nervous. But she was.

Maomao opened her eyes as she felt the carriage start to slow down again before finally stopping. There were sounds of people shuffling on all sides of the carriage before the muffled voice of her sole lady-in-waiting spoke.

“My lady, it’s time.” Xiaolan called.

With one last deep breath, Maomao pulled over the sheer green veil, letting it fall just below her chin, concealing her hair and face. A second later, the carriage’s door opened, and she stood up and took her father's outstretched hand through the door frame, using it to brace herself as she elegantly stepped down from the carriage. Although the veil tinged the world green, she could still see the large ornate gate that stood before her, and beyond it, the crown prince's palace. Her new home. 

Her father's hand trembled slightly in her own, and after a moment, he spoke softly. “Are you ready?”

Maomao held her tongue to keep from saying something sarcastic and instead simply nodded. Her father understood and took a step forward, guiding her through the prince’s palace gates. Up ahead, a figure bowed as they approached.

“This way please,” a man’s voice said as the figure rose and turned to lead the way.

Through the veil, Maomao could see the outline of the buildings and walls, but the details were left frustratingly vague. As they were led into a large building, she could barely distinguish the intricacies of the interior design and gave up trying to strain her eyes to make out even the simplest of décor.

They turned into a room off to the side. Towards the back of the room, Maomao could just make out a large chair, no doubt ornate, and standing just in front of the chair was a man. Her father stopped just a few feet into the room and released her hand. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him bow before she gave a slight bow herself. Watching him, Maomao held back a snort as she recalled the memory of her mother beating her father senseless until he promised he would show the Moon Prince respect upon his delivering her. In the end, he only caved when she pointed out he would be disrespecting his daughter as well.

“Your highness,” her father said. “Allow me to introduce to you my daughter, Maomao, princess of the La Clan.”

At the sound of her name, Maomao reached up and carefully pulled back her veil and gazed properly upon the prince for the first time. He was wearing a light colored hanfu with intricate designs that ran along the wide ribboned edges. A dark mask covered the entirety of his head, revealing only his amethyst eyes framed by deep violet bangs.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Lady Maomao,” the prince spoke, his voice slightly muffled by the mask. “I am Ka Zuigetsu, the Crown Prince.”

Maomao bowed again, this time adding her own greeting. “It’s an honor to meet you my Prince. I look forward to serving you as your consort.” When she straightened back up, she caught an ever-so-subtle twitch in the Prince’s left eye.

“This is Gaoshun, my aide.” The prince introduced a man standing to his right. Maomao barely recognized him as the one who had led her father and her into the prince’s palace. The prince waited for his aide to bow before continuing. “And this is my Lady-In-Waiting, Suiren.” He motioned to an older woman standing on his left, who gave a quick bow. "There is one other person who serves me, but he isn't here at the moment. His name is Basen, and he's Gaoshun's son. I'll introduce you to him later."  He then nodded to Suiren who stepped forward. 

“Please, let me show you to your pavilion,” Suiren gestured toward the door through which they had entered.

Maomao gave her father a quick glance, who nodded, then followed the older Lady-In-Waiting out of the main palace building and through several covered pathways till they came upon a slightly smaller building. Once inside, she instantly recognized her mother’s carefully designed décor, including the drapes, tapestries, and banners that were all in various shades of green. It complemented the purple hues of the main palace, Maomao noted, having properly glimpsed the wall hangings as she left.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, we worked with your mother, Lady Fengxian, to decorate the pavilion prior to your arrival,” Suiren explained. Maomao had been aware of this, but had not been included in the decisions due to some last-minute lessons she had to endure. Still, she had trusted her mother and found the pavilion surprisingly comforting with its many floral and plant-like motifs all around.

The pavilion was smaller than those of the emperor’s high consorts. Or at least that was what Suiren had claimed as she guided Maomao on a short but detailed tour of what was now her home. From the small entryway were two doors, one that led to a sitting room, while the other led to a short hallway. Attached to the hallway were a series of doors leading to other rooms, including a lavish bedroom — complete with a separate sleeping chamber and dressing room — a small room that could double as a study, a luxurious private bath suite, and a small courtyard. Across the courtyard were several extra rooms, one of which had been assigned to Xiaolan as her private quarters. There was also a pathway beside the extra rooms that led deeper into the palace, which houses the storerooms, kitchen, and other amenities, including a simple bath house for the servants to utilize.

“I’ve already showed Miss Xiaolan where my room is in case there is an emergency in the middle of the night,” Suiren said, concluding the tour. “Please feel free to relax and freshen up a bit before your dinner with the prince. I’ll come get you when it’s time.” She gave Maomao a bow, then turned and left.

With nothing else to do, Maomao began going back through her new home, handing Xiaolan her veil to put away. She was examining some flowers in the sitting room when her father entered. He immediately took both of her hands in his and tried to steady his breathing to keep from sobbing like a child.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice trembling as he spoke.

“For what?” Maomao shook her head. They had had this conversation a thousand times already. What was done was done, and there wasn’t anything either of them could do about it. “We’ve talked about this. Things could always be worse,” she reminded him. They had spent countless hours speculating about worse situations than this; at least with the prince, she could be close by and protected. It may not have been what either of them had wanted, but it was certainly better than some of the other options.

Her father nodded and pulled her into a hug. She clung to his officer uniform, grabbing fistfuls of the fabric with her perfectly manicured hands. They stayed there holding each other for several long moments before her father finally whispered into her ear.

“I need to go.”

She felt a tear fall down her cheek as he released her. She relaxed her own hold but didn’t step back. Instead, she stood up onto her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on her father’s stubby cheek. He smiled and blinked back tears, placing his hand over the spot she had kissed, then turned and left. Maomao didn’t wail or sob — she had long accepted her fate — but she didn’t move from that spot either. She just stood there, her eyes fixed on the doorway her father had left through.

“Lady Maomao,” Xiaolan softly spoke.

Maomao nodded. She knew. Her makeup needed to be touched up, and her hair fixed. Suiren would be there soon for her. She turned and headed towards her bedroom with Xiaolan right behind her.

***

Zuigetsu collapsed into the chair behind him. He had personally dealt with dozens of consorts and concubines' arrivals as Jinshi the eunuch, but this had been by far the worst. The entire event had not even taken thirty minutes, but already he was exhausted.

“Your highness,” Gaoshun’s voice sounded.

Zuigetsu looked up to see him pull back the violet drapes, revealing a hidden door that was already open. Zuigetsu sighed and heaved himself to his feet. He walked into the windowless room, pulling his mask off as soon as he heard the door click behind him. He sat down in one of the chairs and waited as Gaoshun poured a glass of water from a pitcher Suiren had placed there earlier. Taking the glass from his aide, he mumbled a simple thanks before sipping the cool liquid.

“I didn’t expect the strategist to show such respect,” Gaoshun finally said, breaking the strained silence.

“Nor had I,” Zuigestsu admitted. “One of the many surprises.”

He thought back over the entire exchange, from the moment she had entered the room. He had been surprised by the girl’s petite form; nothing like the luscious women who filled the real palace. And then there was the moment she lifted the veil, he nearly broke his composure at how delicate her features were, the simple makeup highlighting her natural beauty, leaving him momentarily breathless. He had been grateful the mask had concealed much of his reaction as he silently examined her in great detail. Her expression had been neutral, and her striking, sapphire blue eyes never seemed to leave his image; her gaze remained properly fixed on him and him alone. When she spoke, her voice had been properly modulated, her words clear and distinct. And her movements were precise and exact. The elaborate light green hanfu she wore with her gold and jade hair ornaments perfectly accented her against the deep red and purples of the room's décor. And although the words they had exchanged had been brief, she displayed nothing but simple respect.

Zuigetsu eyed the mask he had so quickly abandoned. He couldn’t help but wonder for just a moment how she might have reacted had he not worn the mask. Would she have groveled at his celestial-nymph-like appearance, just like every other woman and even some men, or could she have remained neutral and unmoving? Of course, it was still too early to tell.

“Do you intend keep wearing the mask around her?” Gaoshun asked, having noticed the change in Zuigetsu’s gaze.

“For now, yes.”

He had originally made the decision with the intention of staying true to the rumors of his disfigured appearance. However, Gaoshun had guessed partially correctly that it was also to hide his Jinshi persona from her. The other part was to hide his own cursed, perfect image. Regardless, he had no intention of revealing his true face just yet. That being said, he felt she at least deserved not to be inflicted with his flowery tongue either, choosing to speak to her in his truest voice instead. 

“By the way, I spoke with Taomei last night about her,” Gaoshun said. Zuigetsu looked up at him, his posture perfect as always. “She confirmed what I thought. No one has heard of the La Clan having a princess. But she also said that Grand Commandant Kan suddenly started showing up bragging about his gorgeous and intelligent wife, and that nephew of his that he'd adopted. She also said that everyone seems to have found it odd that the wife has yet to give him a child of his own blood.”

Zuigetsu took another drink from his glass before staring into it. He thought back to a meeting he had had with his father just a few days earlier. It was during that meeting that the emperor finally revealed who he had selected to be Zuigetsu’s consort: a girl a year younger than himself, whom no one knew had existed. When he had questioned the fact of her legitimacy, the emperor assured him she was truly the La Clan Princess, having had a hand in keeping her existence a secret himself. Wanting to determine if the clans truly had no idea of her existence, Zuigetsu had asked Gaoshun to confer with his wife, who had her finger on the pulse of what the other clans knew or didn’t. Still, confirming that the princess was not heard of did not sit well with him.

Over the last few years, he had been forced to attend a number of events where clans would quite literally throw their daughters and princesses at him constantly. The chance of one of them being chosen as his consort had been too great an opportunity to pass up. Yet, if they were to find out that not only had there been another candidate secretly hidden away, but said princess had actually been chosen to be his consort, the clans would be enraged. There was no saying what they might do when word inevitably got out. Even the strategist himself hinted as such when he spoke to Zuigetsu privately after his daughter left. Zuigetsu was now responsible for her safety and security, and it would be no easy feat.

“I’ll increase the guards around the perimeter,” Gaoshun offered.

“Yes,” Zuigetsu responded. “And I want you to personally vet an officer to provide relief for the one Grand Commandant Kan is sending. They need to be as trusting with her life as they would be mine.” Gaoshun nodded. “Both of them are to remain within earshot of her at all times, even here in this palace.”

Gaoshun’s eyes widened at the order. “You won’t be able to hide that order from her for long.”

“I have no intention of hiding it at all. I’ll tell her tonight at dinner.” There were several other security issues he needed to address, but he only hoped he could make them sound more like a request for her safety and less like she’s a prisoner. “Also, please make sure Taomei knows not to speak of the princess outside of your immediate family.”

“Of course,” Gaoshun said with another nod. “I also asked that she keep an ear out for any mention or rumor of her.”

Zuigetsu sighed. “Thank you. That’s probably for the best.”

After several long moments of silence, Gaoshun switched to converse about the two pregnant consorts. How, in light of the deaths of Zuigetsu’s two infant half-sisters, the emperor decided to reinstate a well-known doctor who had been praised for overseeing the emperor’s own birth more than thirty years ago. This brilliant doctor had reentered the palace around the same time Zuigetsu had entered the rear palace as Jinshi for the first time. The conversation then turned to the possibility of one or both of Zuigetsu’s unborn half-siblings being male. Sadly, the emperor had already ordered that if a boy was born, they wouldn’t be titled crown prince as that title was already currently bestowed upon Zuigetsu. He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t exactly go against the emperor’s order either.

The conversation had then shifted to the next garden party that would be held in a little more than a month, when a knock came from the door, followed by the sound of it opening.

“Your highness,” Suiren called quietly. “Dinner is ready.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Zuigetsu reached for his mask and quickly put it back on. He shook his head a little to get the cloth to lie down flat and dislodged his bangs, then stood and made his way towards the dining room.

The La Clan Princess was already there when he arrived. She was standing to the side of the far end of the table, still looking as pristine as before. Upon his entrance, she gave a courtesy bow and then waited as he sat before taking her own seat. Suiren placed a tray of food before him, while the princess’s own lady-in-waiting placed an identical tray on the table in front of her before disappearing with Suiren. He watched as she finally dropped her gaze from him to scan the food before her, quickly scrutinizing each morsel, but as proper courtesy dictated, she didn’t dare pick up her chopsticks or reach for any food. He waited until her gaze turned back towards him — her eyes locking with his for a long moment — only then did he finally reach for his own chopsticks. He picked up a piece of meat and carefully navigated it behind the cloth of his mask and into his mouth. She waited until he had swallowed and was reaching for another bite to finally pick up her chopsticks and start eating.

He took several more bites before he finally chose to speak. However, his eyes never left her, watching intently as she brought the food to her mouth.

“Your father is assigning you a guard,” he started. She paused briefly at the sound of his voice. “I plan to also have a relief guard assigned to you as well. They will both be ordered to stay within earshot of you at all times, understand?”

The princess stopped with her glass half raised in the air. “Yes, your highness,” she spoke, her voice steady and calm.

“Also, I think it would be best if you didn’t leave the palace grounds. I’ve already ordered that no one is allowed to enter without my permission first.”

“Yes, your highness.”

They continued to eat in silence. Zuigetsu watched as the princess’ chopsticks made fewer trips to her mouth, and before long, she had abandoned eating altogether, leaving her plate hardly touched. He wondered if the food wasn’t to her liking and was about to ask as much when she spoke first.

“Will his highness be visiting my chambers tonight?”

Zuigetsu froze. He felt his cheeks warm and closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths to stay calm.

“No, I will not. Actually, it may be some time before I do. I’d like to get to know you a bit first. But I promise, when I do plan to visit, I will give you time to prepare.”

Zuigetsu wanted to run and hide. He couldn’t stop talking, and his voice noticeably trembled. He started tapping his leg with his fingers in response to the sudden flood of anxious energy. He was just about to give some lame reason to excuse himself when Gaoshun suddenly appeared at his side and leaned down to whisper into his ear.

“Your presence is needed immediately at your office.”

Zuigetsu stood and spoke to the princess. “I apologize, but it seems I am needed elsewhere right away. Please, finish your meal and then you may retire to you chambers for the night.”

The princess stood and bowed. “Thank you, your highness.”

He turned and left. Suiren was standing just beyond the door with a set of robes for Zuigetsu to quickly change into. He then left through a secret side entrance, taking off his mask as he did so, and began heading towards the office near Master Jinshi’s residence, which now stood vacant. As he walked, he thought back to the meal. It had not escaped his notice that the girl hardly ate a thing.

“I wonder if it was just nerves,” he mused to himself.

“Master Jinshi?” Gaoshun asked.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that she hardly ate anything tonight at dinner. I was just thinking that maybe she was too nervous to eat.”

“I see.”

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[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Chapter 1: Prologue

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Lakan stared at the Go board that was laid out on the table before them. He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“You let him win?” He asked.

“It was necessary.” The emperor took a sip from his glass. “If I give him what he wants, he’ll be more receptive to accepting the throne.”

“Maybe. What happens when he finds out you manipulated him?”

The emperor’s expression saddened. “I’ll tell him the truth: that it was for the good of the country.”

“But is it?” His anger was threatening to boil over. “And what about her? You know this will make her a target once the other clans find out.” There was no if, only a matter of when, and that alone pissed him off. He had worked so hard to keep them safe, to keep her hidden. “You promised to help me keep her safe!”

“And I did,” the emperor said, sitting up a little straighter. “I kept your wife and daughter safe while you were in the Western Capital. I helped you become the head of your Clan, and even rise to Grand Commandant.”

“I earned that title on my own,” Lakan growled.

“Yes, but I helped others see that too,” the emperor replied in a calm and collected voice. “I have kept my word, now it’s time to repay the favor. Or have you forgotten that I could change her life in an instant?”

It wasn’t a threat, it was a promise. Lakan took a deep breath. “She’s only twelve,” he begged, his voice calmer but still strained.

“And there are others who have been learning how to be a consort from the time they could walk.” Lakan sighed in resignation. The emperor took it as his consent. “You will start her lessons now. Then in five years, when Zui is eighteen, she will move into the crown princes’ palace as the Moon Prince’s consort.”

Lakan nodded.

“Oh, and Lakan,” the emperor added as he started to leave. “I am rescinding the order against your uncle and will be reinstating him as a palace physician. He should expect to report as soon as he receives the order.”

Lakan closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, but he didn’t turn around.

“Understood.”

***

Maomao had only visited the family estate a handful of times, but there was something different about this visit. Maybe it was how forlorn her father looked as he sat there with his head in his hands. Or the pity her uncle gave her as he stood there awkwardly in the room. Or maybe it was the sigh of resignation her mother gave as she tried to comfort her father. And she hadn’t missed how her elder brother kept avoiding her gaze, choosing instead to study the floor with great interest. Then came the news she hadn’t expected: she was moving into the family estate. For as long as she could remember, she had been told that the only reason she didn’t live with her parents in the family estate was to protect her and keep her hidden. She knew she was the La Clan Princess, but she was never expected to play the part. Until now, that is.

“You’ll begin training to be a consort,” her mother explained. “So that you’ll be ready to be the crown prince’s consort when he comes of age in five years.”

Maomao looked to her father for clarification. Surely she had a choice about this, that she could refuse.

“Maomao,” her uncle said in that voice that meant absolute. “It is by order of the emperor himself. There is nothing we can say or do.”

Maomao opened her mouth to object, but quickly closed it.

“We know this isn’t what you wanted,” her uncle continued. “We didn’t want this either. But our hands are tied.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “However, if you work hard at your lessons, I’ll continue to teach you medicine when I can.”

Maomao looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“Your great-uncle is being reinstated as a palace physician,” her mother explained. “He is to report to the palace first thing tomorrow. And will only be able to come visit on his days off.”

Warm tears began falling as Maomao’s vision started to blur. She sobbed into her uncle’s robes as the peaceful life she once knew with him had been all but shattered overnight.

***

Zuigetsu walked briskly along the corridor. He had been grateful his father had granted him a meeting on such short notice, but it did little to alleviate his nervousness. He had been procrastinating this very meeting, afraid that if he brought up the subject, his father might go back on his agreement or worse, push up the timetable. But with less than a month before the start of his eighteenth year, he had little time left to raise the question.

In all honesty, Zuigetsu had been quite surprised that the emperor had agreed to the bet he wagered four years ago. He was even more surprised that he had won the bet. He had been excited to play the role of Jinshi the eunuch, but there had been one small catch: he could only do it until he was eighteen, at which point he would be expected to make his public debut as the crown prince. With the impending date just around the corner, Zuigetsu was hoping to prolong his time as Jinshi just a little longer.

The emperor was already sitting when Zuigetsu arrived. After giving his father an obligatory bow, he took a seat adjacent to the one the emperor occupied.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much time for pleasantries today Zui,” his father spoke. Zuigetsu nodded.

“I understand. I was hoping we could discuss my public presentation.”

“You mean you’re hoping I might consider postponing it?”

Zuigetsu tried not to react in surprise. Of course, the emperor knew he would ask for as much. He chose to simply nod again in response.  The emperor sat back and stroked his beard.

“I suppose I could be persuaded to postpone the announcement.” Zuigetsu swallowed; the emperor continued, “I would like you to move into the crown prince’s palace.

“But would it not look suspicious if I were seen coming and going? I mean, as Jinshi of course.”

The emperor shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out. I also want you to take a consort.” Zuigetsu just sat there blinking, trying to process this second request, but the emperor kept speaking. “I already have someone in mind. I believe she’ll be ready to move in as soon as the consort pavilion in your palace is built. I was told it should be finished sometime early next year.”

Zuigetsu was too stunned to speak and could only nod.

“Very well,” the emperor spoke and stood up. “I believe that settles it then.”

Zuigetsu could only silently watch his father leave. He sat there in silence, his mind reeling from the conversation. It had been short and concise — if he wanted to remain playing Jinshi the eunuch, he would have to move into the crown prince’s palace and take a consort. As he continued to stare at the door the emperor had left through, realization dawned on him. Sure, he’d won this battle, but he was losing the war.

Masterpost || Next >>

[arnyia]

Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels

This is a masterpost of my Moonflowers and Wood Sorrels Fanfic. It was originally posted on A03.

Chapters: 1 - Prologue 2 - Entering the Palace 3 - Buckwheat 4 - Learning to Live 5 - A Garden Stroll 6 - To Tame Wild Hearts [Coming Soon]

[arnyia]