Aro-Ace-Space

A place for aro and ace folk, whether you're aromantic allosexual, alloromantic asexual, aro ace or you're just not sure, this blog is a place to ask questions and share your stories. Asks are answered publicly unless requested otherwise. Tag this blog...

[aro-ace-space]

How can I make people understand? I'm aromantic and people that have tried to date me have called me cold or heartless because I can't be romantically involved. Even the idea of romantic gestures make me uncomfortable yet I crave human interaction. But how can I make the people that think they can change this about me understand this. They think it's because I haven't "met the right one" or that "I'm just playing hard to get". What do you suggest?

I think all you can do is sit them down and explain it to them properly. If they refuse to accept you, then they don’t deserve to have you in their life

Just know that you are not cold or heartless. Romantic love is not superior to any other kind of love 

[aro-ace-space]

I have recently came to terms with being an aro bisexual. but I don't want to have sex with random people. I'm only comfortable having sex with someone if I know them and we are friendly. is that weird? Is there a simple way to explain this to people?

That’s not weird at all. Being aro allosexual doesn’t mean that you want to have sex with everyone. It’s a really harmful stereotype, and I’m very sorry it exists

I also don’t think it requires explanation as such. The only people it concerns are people who you are going to be sexual with

[aro-ace-space]

Help! I can't tell if I'm lithromantic or aromantic. The idea of romance is okay but whenever someone flirts with me I get really turned off. I still get confused with squish/an actual crush.

It sounds like you’re romance averse. If you experience romantic attraction towards people until they seem to reciprocate, or experience attraction with no desire to have it reciprocated, that would make you lithromantic. If you don’t experience any romantic attraction at all, that would make you aromantic

As for crushes and squishes, a squish is just a platonic crush

~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

what if I feel aro and don't like it? I've never really loved anyone or felt love for anyone, just a friendly like. And I've tried being in relationships just to fail at it and it just really hurts me. I'll explain more if I have to.

I’m very sorry that you’re unhappy with your orientation, but there’s not much you can do about that. If you want to be in a relationship, it can be platonic, it even could be romantic, even if you don’t feel romantic attraction, if you like romance. Just know that Not experiencing romantic love doesn’t make the love you do experience any lesser

[aro-ace-space]

Hi! So this isn't necessarily about being ace or aro, but I've seen people tag things as LGBTQIA+, and I was wondering what the I stands for? And I hope that didn't come off as rude, I just genuinely want to know

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Intersex, and the A stands for Asexual and Aromantic. I think it stands for Agender too

You don’t sound rude at all :) thank you for asking 

~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

Me as a greyro: *gets a crush* wait wait wait. Is this what LOVE FEELS LIKE? Oh, wow, this is crazy. So /this/ is what everyone's raving about, huh.

Haha. I hope it was a good feeling for you? 

[aro-ace-space]

I always see in the media "Oh, girls and boys have crushes all the time!" So I thought, "Oh, I need a crush." I actually have had crushes, but they were more like "this person is amazing I want them to be my friend /so bad/" But, I have had a romantic crush. Sometimes multiple. I don't know what the heck I am, plus, media has pushed romance on me. I'm super confused, because the labels of Aro spectrum and Poly spectrum fit me. ???

You could be on the spectrum. For example, I’m pan-demiromantic, so I only experience romantic attraction towards people I am close to, but regardless of gender. 

~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

How do I know im asexual

Asexuality is simply not experiencing sexual attraction towards people. I don’t know what sexual attraction is like, so I can’t tell you that, but then, if you’re not sure yourself, that’s a pretty good indication.

To clarify, attraction and libido are different, so if you do have a libido or enjoy sexual activity, that doesn't rule it out

~ Natalia 

[aro-ace-space]

So I'm an ace, and I'm wondering if it's I'm stil ace if I get turned on by reading lemon(rated m) fanfictions and reading hentai, but not when people, mainly men, make advances towards me, touch me, watch porn and hentai? This has been bothering me

Attraction and libido are different, so yes, you can still consider yourself ace. Many ace people read or watch pornographic materials~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

Hello! I'm trying to figure out if I could be aromantic, so I was wondering if I can be aromantic although I have "crushes" on people I find sexually/sensually/aesthetically attracting. I would never want to be in a romantic relationship with them because I am not attracted to them in a romantic way... is that also on the aro spectrum?

Sure. That sounds aro spectrum to me. You probably fall in the grey area

[aro-ace-space]

I think I'm asexual aromantic but I still have a sex drive, be it low it is still there so I'm not sure if I'm actually asexual/aromantic like I know I don't like boys/girls/etc but I'm really new to this and I'm just so confused?

Being aro or ace is only about attraction. Having a high libido doesn't mean you're not ace

[aro-ace-space]

hi! I'm demisexual, demiromantic and bi (apologies if I said that wrong) I recently came out to my psychologist, and she mentioned that she thought that me liking girl (romantic attraction only) during me being in a relationship with a guy (romantic and sexual attraction) meant that my relationship was unfulfilling. I am confused now because I feel as if my relationship with my boyfriend is great...I don't feel like there is a problem? 1/2

I'm sorry, we didn't recieve the second half of this. But to answer what's here; being bi does not in any way mean that your current relationship is unfullfilling. A happy, monogamous relationship is no more or less so just because you're one sexuality or another~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

I identify as a panalterous asexual and its literally the only think thats fit in terms of my identity. However, I'm scared that people will only say "thats just a tumblr identity!" if I come out as it.. any advice?

There are always people who insist on calling lesser known sexualities an 'internet thing', and that really sucks. If anyone does say that to you, just explain your orientation to them. Hopefully they understand that it's genuine. If not, then they aren't worth your time anyway. Good luck~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

Hi everyone I'm so sorry for disapearing for so long (and sorry to Alistair for sort of dumping the blog on you with no warning). I've kind of been homeless for a month. Long story. But it's all okay now. Sorry again, and I will get back to blogging and answering asks right away ~ Natalia

[aro-ace-space]

When dating as an aro, do you think you should be upfront about it or just wait and see? I tried to hint at it (before I had a term for it)not in to the mushy touchy feely parts of dating and not really into dating. More into friends with benefits?

I believe you should be upfront about it and explain everything (how you feel and consequently what you do not feel) to the other person and what kind of relationship you want with them.

-Alistair

[aro-ace-space]

Actually, the black grey white and then purple is just the asexual flag. The demo sexual one has a black triangle in the corner, with a thin purple stripe horizontally coming from the tip and white above it and gray below.

!! thank you friend for this

I believe this is the flag in reference :)

-Alistair

[aro-ace-space]

also, if you want me to or would prefer I answer your question privately feel free to specify this in your ask