aromantic antihero

smokin' hot takes from an aro with an attitude. call me ivy.

[aropinions]

I'm sick of restating things, so here, have a bio post.

You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but a lot of people have been doing that anyway just based off the opinions they think I have, so I figure it's better if I at least provide a proper cover for them to judge.

Hi, I'm Ivy. I'm an aromantic heterosexual female, and proud to be a woman.

Yes, I'm a feminist. More of an egalitarian, really. I want equality of opportunity for everyone, not equality of outcome. I am not a radical feminist, and I am not a TERF. I agree with TERFs on a few points, but I disagree with pretty much everything that sets radfems apart from regular old feminists: I support any and all sex acts between consenting adults (this does not include public kink because onlookers cannot consent), I am not anti-porn, I am not misandrist, I am not anti-capitalist.

I'm an aro/ace exclusionist. I believe straight aros and straight aces, as well as aroaces, are perfectly real and deserve recognition (of course, since I am one) but shouldn't bandwagon on the LGB/T community to get that recognition. I use "LGB/T community" to refer to the community generally known as "queer," out of respect to the people who do not consent to reclaiming the word "queer." The slash in the acronym is there to signify my belief that the T is distinctly separate from the LGB, despite mainstream lumping-together of the groups.

I strongly believe homosexual aros and homoromantic aces are LGB. Same goes if you replace the "homo" prefixes in that sentence with "bi." Your average homophobe isn't going to stop their fire-and-brimstone rants to ask the two guys/girls kissing if they're in love or just sexually attracted. It's all the same for social oppression.

I am transmedicalist but not transphobic. Sex dysphoria is real, is a mental disorder, and can be treated with transition as long as everything that can be mistaken for that disorder is ruled out before transition begins (EDs, dysmorphia, etc.) Biological sex is still real even after transition. Nonbinary dysphoria exists, though rare, but just like MtF and FtM I believe it is only valid through straight-up dysphoria -- not "feelings" of "androgynous gender."

Is there anything else I missed? Feel free to yell at me in notes if there are any other "OP is a ____phobe!" callouts that I've forgotten to debunk and clarify. <3

[demeated]

commissions!

hey so uh this is awkward but we’re taking 25 $10 fullbody commissions to save up for a sewing machine!

on all of our fursuit and clothing work, everything is hand-sewn – and it has caused basically irreparable damage to our hands, especially our dominant hand. a sewing machine would not only make work go faster, but it would prevent further injury!

our commission information can be found here, as well as a place to generally donate if you don’t have enough for a commission!

if you can’t commission or donate, sharing would be so appreciated! thank you all so much <3

[aropinions]

Boosting.

[aropinions]

what

How do y'all actually write shit like this and not stop for a second to question how you got to this tier of clownery?

I'm genuinely asking. How do you not realize how ridiculous this is? Honestly, this is just making up words for fun at this point.

[nnezzanine]

who is it hurting tho

[lowempathyhighenergy]

Like all you need to know are their pronouns the rest idc. Genuinely speaking why the fuck do you care about other people wanting to use a fancy word to define themselves it doesn't matter. Mind ya business op

[aropinions]

I care because I want to. We all like being mad about something on the internet. This is the gripe I chose.

[lowempathyhighenergy]

You can choose to care about stupid shit that's none of your business but that doesn't mean your opinion matters, it just makes you whiny and nosey

[aropinions]

Absolutely no one's opinion matters. Cope.

[lowempathyhighenergy]

"cope" you say on your blog where you whine about things that have nothing to do with you and have no bearing in the real world.

[aropinions]

Okay but consider this: cope.

[lowempathyhighenergy]

I'm coping the same way you are lol. Complaining at people on the internet

[aropinions]

Ya know, I can respect that

[aropinions]

Hi welcome to watch mojo and today we're counting down the top ten stupidest people, number 1: you

Your bio says all I need to know

[aropinions]

how's it going

Work is chaotic, life sucks, shit's tough. I'm alive though.

[biologicallyangry-deactivated20]

the thing that kills me about the tras losing their minds over the women-only pool in sydney (article here) is that it is literally one place. one singular place that women could count on to be totally free from men. the mciver baths were a sex-segregated space from 1876 to this month, when they dared to make public that penises were not welcome in the facility and were non-stop harassed on facebook until they reversed that policy.

locals of the area where the mciver baths are say there are swimming areas literally DOWN THE STREET which are open to all genders, so this is not an issue of people wanting to swim and not being able to. this is an issue of one solitary space daring to prioritize female bodies and being punished for it. the baths were once a safe space for muslim women; islam only permits women to expose their hair/most of their bodies around other women, and requires that they cover up in the presence of men. while I disagree with this rule, I am disgusted that this place will no longer be somewhere safe for muslim women to literally and figuratively let down their hair.

they found one solitary harmless sex-segregated place that still exists and made it their mission to destroy it. what a textbook case of male entitlement.

[secret-senshi]

A woman’s only pool sounds so wonderful..

[aropinions]

Yikes.

[aropinions]

It’s evident you don’t respect the identity of transgender people who don’t meet your standards. Don’t you see something wrong with that? Something wrong with determining the validity of someone’s identity regarding an experience you don’t have by only respecting people that desire, attempt and meet a certain checklist in their transition? I don’t know what you’re doing, but if you consider yourself a trans ally, you need to check yourself, because you’re being transphobic. Multiple people have told you you are being transphobic now, too. Please consider, for moment, regardless of the transmedicalism that you appear to subscribe to, that people are the gender they say they are. Can you at least respect other trans people that much? Or do you feel like you are the gender arbiter, informed by facts and logic, and that it trumps actual trans voices who are telling you that you are wrong?

> People are the gender they say they are

X to doubt. Cope.

[aropinions]

to you do you consider trans women who like women to be lesbian? are they included in LGB to you?

Assuming she's a real transwoman i.e. dysphoric, I'd consider her WLW because she's a woman, but not lesbian because that's for homosexual biological females. That's just my take on it.

[aropinions]

how do you feel about trans people who are gnc? like a trans man who is feminine. personally i still try to pass but i want to pass in a way thats like how cis men who are feminine look. obviously i still bind and do stuff to look male biologically but i have long hair and do stuff to look feminine.

I think you're good. There's a difference between not trying to pass, and actually looking like a feminine man, you know? Of course men can be effeminate but there's a difference between that and literally just looking like a woman because you don't have fucking dysphoria and are just a trender. So yeah, you're legitimate IMO.

[aropinions]

Transsexuality aka “Gender Dysphoria” previously known as “Gender Identity Disorder” is not a mental illness. If you look at the actual concrete science, it’s clearly a congenital neurological condition, not a psychological issue. That’s why the only cure for sex dysphoria is transition. The things that people need to rule out with therapy before transition are mostly mental illnesses.

When I said it's a mental illness I was using that as a blanket term for conditions that are handled by psychiatry, i.e. both neurodivergence and mental illness. Like I'd consider ADHD under the same blanket.

[aropinions]

what

How do y'all actually write shit like this and not stop for a second to question how you got to this tier of clownery?

I'm genuinely asking. How do you not realize how ridiculous this is? Honestly, this is just making up words for fun at this point.

[nnezzanine]

who is it hurting tho

[lowempathyhighenergy]

Like all you need to know are their pronouns the rest idc. Genuinely speaking why the fuck do you care about other people wanting to use a fancy word to define themselves it doesn't matter. Mind ya business op

[aropinions]

I care because I want to. We all like being mad about something on the internet. This is the gripe I chose.

[lowempathyhighenergy]

You can choose to care about stupid shit that's none of your business but that doesn't mean your opinion matters, it just makes you whiny and nosey

[aropinions]

Absolutely no one's opinion matters. Cope.

[lowempathyhighenergy]

"cope" you say on your blog where you whine about things that have nothing to do with you and have no bearing in the real world.

[aropinions]

Okay but consider this: cope.

[sagihairius]

might join the cicada this summer and scream constantly

[aropinions]

Same

[aropinions]

Are you trans or do you just speak for the trans community?

I'm not trans. I have had experiences with things I thought were gender dysphoria but turned out not to be. I hold my opinions on transcourse based off of psychology, psychiatry, and other current science.

[aropinions]

ok you might think straight aces don't belong in LGBTQ but that doesn't keep my queer friends from openly welcoming me into the communty and I think thats why they are infinitly more cool and funny and sexy than you

Okay, good for you. I don't care what some rando on the internet thinks about other randos being better than me, especially since to you, I am also some rando on the internet.

[aropinions]

stop talking over trans people. you are transphobic. stfu.

Explain how I'm transphobic, please. Genuinely, I want to know what you consider transphobia.

I'm not gonna stop talking just because someone tells me to. Everyone has the right to share their own opinion. Immediately discounting it because that person isn't part of the group they're talking about, or is part of a different group, is textbook ad hominem fallacy.

TL;DR -- Cope.

[aropinions]

I don't think trans people should have to try to pass they should just be allowed to be themselves like everyone one else

I believe you need to be dysphoric to be trans. It follows logically that if they have true dysphoria, they're going to try to pass to alleviate that dysphoria if they're in a safe environment to do so. They're allowed to be themselves, of course. Thing is, they view themselves as the other sex or in rare cases neither, so "being themselves" is going to include passing or alleviating dysphoria in some way if they really are trans. That's just the way it is. Of course, if they're not in a safe environment to be able to transition socially or medically (e.g. a conservative household) then that's different.

TL;DR, if an actual dysphoric person has the full freedom to be themselves, they're going to try to be themselves, which means the self-image that alleviates their dysphoria the most.

[aropinions]

By reducing gender to dysphoria, u r also equating gender to sex. gender is a feeling, an expression, a way u want to be perceived and seen. Sometimes that includes being uncomfortable in ur body, sometimes that includes being uncomfortable in ur gender expression and sometimes its pronouns. It doesn't make it any less real. Its different degrees. A spectrum. Nothing is black and white.

What?

Is "gender" a feeling or a way you want to be seen?

Pick one. Is it internal or external? Because if it's "just a feeling" and not a disorder that needs treatment, then why do you need external social validation to feel confident in it, not to mention access to medical transition? And if it's just how you want to be seen, why can't you just... dress, act and look however you want, without trying to shove that into activism for LGB people or activism for people with genuine mental disorder they need treatment for (dysphoria)?

Gender is meaningless. There are two sexes and three types of dysphoria. If you just "feel less feminine" or "feel like a boy sometimes" and think you're trans because of it, maybe you should consider that "masculine and feminine" personality traits are all naturally combined in all humans and no one is ever one or the other. Also consider there are many, many reasons you might be uncomfortable with your body other than gender dysphoria, and they don't make you trans.