sometimes i get home from an event with my family and i just have to sit in my car for a second & read that one sarah schulman quote on familial homophobia
I know this video is long as fuck but it’s so worth watching. It’s great at putting pieces together that show how deliberate more modern transphobia is, how social attacks (in the UK and US in particular) on all trans people are connected.
hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"
Princess: an effeminate and relatively youthful male homosexual or lesbian (1931-4)
Daffodil: effeminate young man (1925)
To throw a fuck into: to have sex with (1919)
Top sergeant: a masculine lesbian (1939) [‘she takes command of the girls’ privates’]
Lily: penis (1919)
Wolf: sexually aggressive man (1847); a homosexual top (1918)
Soul kiss: a deep kiss, involving putting one’s tongue into one’s partner’s mouth (1907)
Tom: a lesbian (1909); [in 'old tom'] prostitute catering to lesbians (1966)
Church mouse: a male homosexual who frequents crowded churches in order to fondle any potential sex partners. (1941)
Discover one's gender: to accept or acknowledge one’s homosexuality (1941) / Lose one's gender: To return to living as a heterosexual
Minty: a masculine lesbian (1941)
Also a lot of early 20th century vulgarity is recorded in Letter from My Father, which is a collection of letters published by a man who's dad was, in short, a major slut and human disaster who wrote about his sex life for his son. It's insane. You can find copies of it online & it's a wild fucking read (literally!) and I think a really interesting look at the life of a person who goes against our stereotypes of what people in the past were "supposed" to be like.
Anyways feel free to add y'all's favs to this post. & if you use this for gay historical fanfic please share with the class
#OH THIS IS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY HELPFUL#writing#resources#saving for later#maybe i should move my 1920s story from '25 to '27 because..... bro..........
note for writers: these are dated to the first time they were recorded, not necessarily to their first use. I imagine for many of these, they came about naturally through spoken language before they were written down anywhere. This is especially true of more underground slang because it's probably being recorded (in ways we still have) the least. So if you wanna use a term but it's a little off date-wise, give yourself some wiggle room.
also gonna take this moment to highlight two more i found recently:
Best boy: a sweetheart, a boyfriend, a husband. (1893) [w the obvious equivalent term 'best girl']
Honeydripper or honeydrips: a sexual partner (1917)
Like. Honeydripper?????? That's so horny I can't stop thinking about it. We need to bring THAT back
Do you have any tips on building a formal masculine outfit? I will graduate at the end of the year but I've come to realize that I only own casual clothes, and have no idea how to properly dress for fancy occasions
So, "formal" is really a moving target. A high-profile business meeting vs a cocktail party vs going to a nice museum on a date will all be "formal", but have different vibes. And of course black/white tie are the highest levels of formal, but unless you go to those events regularly, just rent a tux/tails.
So, first figure out what level of "formal" you expect to encounter as a young adult. It will depend heavily upon your chosen career. "Formal" for a lawyer would be a suit. "Formal" for a tech company could be a navy sportscoat paired with chinos. And even that may be over-dressed.
Derek (workwear guy) does a good job of giving outfit inspiration for lower levels of Formal here:
Seemingly against all odds, it looks like the United States will reopen by July 4th. Once again, we’ll be able...
But I'd also suggest looking at his own tailoring wishlist. He acknowledges that he, like most men, has a limited wardrobe palette, and he identifies some ways to shake that up without being too ostentatious:
A few weeks ago, Bruce Boyer emailed me a photo of his big day in Manhattan. He had just passed the two-week period after getting his second
Imo, a good starting place is a navy suit that looks good as separates, a pair of tan chinos, a pair of grey wool trousers, a few dress shirts (no buttons on the collar) in different colors: white, pinstripe or check, light blue, a "sombre" tie and a tie in a contrast color with a simple pattern, a nice polo shirt in light blue, and then some black dress shoes.
This capsule gets you through interviews, dates, weddings, funerals, and most parties.
Derek again is a great go-to on that first suit:
There are a lot of articles about what you should get for your first suit. Maybe more than the number...
Once you learn the rules of fashion for your social circle, you can then start to bend and break them -- I wear vintage style suits, but they are suits with a historic connotation of being outdoor wear, plus the cut can look like a costume to some. I'm also in a place in my life where I can be eccentric like this. But I also still have a navy suit (albeit vintage cut). :)
I strongly co-sign the links and advice you gave, even as I disagree with one part: I recommend a charcoal suit over a navy for a first-and-maybe-only suit. Charcoal is harder to wear as just a jacket, it's true. However, charcoal is acceptable at funerals in a way that navy often isn't, and otherwise meets all the standards of celebrations and business that navy would. Plus, you can wear charcoal with pretty much any color shoe; some navy plays really badly with black shoes, and I generally recommend brown with navy, black with black, anything with charcoal and grey.
I will say that the funeral probably gets more emphasis than it should in suit-buying decisions. (Ymmv for large families and friend groups.) It feels a bit like keeping the walls in your house painted white in order to appeal to the eventual new buyer.
But at least neither of us are suggesting black (unless, like me, you are a working musician, because wearing a tux and black shirt as your pit uniform looks silly).
For the most part, just take your cues from your peers and immediate superiors in your particular social setting.
But yeah, it's opinion all the way down. And while I own navy and find it useful, my three go-to suits are actually all brown and I am now branching into greens. 😆
Created by Kimberly Butler, Marshall Blount and Alysha Rodgers, SoulAce Day celebrates the activism, art and culture of African American asexuals.
[image description: the ace flag colors in the background--black, gray, white, purple-- with purple and black text in front that says "Happy SoulAce Day!". The AVEN logo is in the bottom left corner]
my problem really deeply is how shallow a tolerance younger people have for old queer media. like yes, it's dated and some of the politics don't hold water anymore, but to ignore older media simply based on that is to loose EVERYTHING we have bc we don't have a lot. just because queer themes caught up more recently doesn't mean we should rehash everything to fit into a more "presentable" format that is only considered modern bc of the puritanical blacklash of the last several years and sanitization of queer themes.
There is a vocal minority of incredibly shitty people on Tumblr Dot Com who frankly, want you to think they do, and they're wrong.
The reason why they want you to think that is literally either: 1. they are someone who has fallen down a radical pipeline and not reflective of the greater trans population by a long shot OR 2. they are a psyop / cop / mal-intended disrupter.
There's no in between. That's how radical queer ideologies have always operated on Tumblr and it's how they will continue to operate on Tumblr probably forever.
It's the same shit transmeds have done. It's the same shit radfems and terfs have. Hell, on a pure ideological psychology level, it's the same shit the right wing does.
Breaking down your ability to think you can have solidarity with another marginalized group you could have community with is the goal of these ideologies. Don't be putty in their hands.
It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.
After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.
Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.
I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.
10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.
Today is a good day. A trans girl is trying on a skirt for the first time. She is growing out her hair and toying with a new name and asking her friends to try out she/her pronouns for her. It’s always a good day when the world gains a new trans girl. Remember this.
in my time on the web ive never seen a single resource for genderwibbly people who want to present more masculine but who don’t want to chop off their billowing locks. so i’d figure i’d make my own. So i proudly present: DARCY’S NOT QUITE COMPLETE GUIDE TO LONG HAIRED MASCULINITY
okay so first thing you have got to realize is that (even tho it totally sucks) most people automatically see that short hair equals masculine and long hair equals feminine. i know its trash but that’s how it is. so what you want to do is try to break that frame of mind in half and make people question it by contradicting it.
YOUR FACE
contouring is the name of the game folks! you’ve probably seen a bunch of tutorials on this so ill just touch on it. The main focus is to shade your face with makeup to make it look less rounded and more angular. so after applying some foundation and concealer your gonna want to get some bronzer(or some dark brown eye-shadow is what i use) and shade these areas on your face:
blend the heck out of that till it looks more natural. next your gonna want to put some concealer on your lips to make them less pink and noticeable. and then THE most IMPORTANT part of this: DARKEN YOUR EYEBROWS im not talking fill them in or sharpen them up. im talking fur logs on your face. your can use an eyebrow pencil or some eyeliner that matches the color of your brows to give them a thicker and less curved shape(i already have kinda bushy, manly shaped brows so i just apply mascara to them to make them look darker and fuller). Then your face be lookin so super fine!
more refs on this: 1 2 3 (there’s tons of tutorials and refs on this if you do a simple google or youtube search)
YOUR HAIR
ALRIGHT! now here’s the fun bit. youve pretty much got two chocies: pull your hair up? or leave it down? i know somewhere along the line youre thinking “oh i’ll just push it up in a hat!” but i’m gonna be honest with you. its not like it is in the movies. in fact this almost never works. you don’t look like a dude. you just look like a girl with hair pushed up in a hat. if you can convincingly pull off a hat trick then right on for you!! but 9/10 times your just gonna look kinda dumb.
1) THE MAN BUN (aka the top knot)
honestly the man bun is modern society’s gift to long haired masculine people. its just growing and growing in popularity and so now guys with their hair up is a totally normal thing. its also super easy to do which is always a plus. this is pretty simple so i’ll just put some tutorials for it: [ 1 2 3 ] okay ive found that one of the main thing that sells this hair style as masculine is the placement of the bun on the head. girls usually where their hair up and the bun is in the middle of the back of their head. but a man bun is way up on the top of the back of the head like these:
2) LEAVING YOUR HAIR DOWN
okay so the main thing your hair does when its down is shape your face. and what youre trying to do here is to get your hair to reinforce a masculine shaped face. so check this out:
notice how the hair falls around their face? her hair swoops over her forehead and around the sides of her face making curves while his makes straight lines across his forehead and straight down the sides. now i know youre thinking “that’s just cause her hair is curly and his is straight” but the same thing applies with curly hair. it doesn’t matter what style of hair you have. what matters is how the hair shapes the forehead. you want your forehead to have that upside-down U shape going on
also notice the direction the hair is going on the top of the head
most of her hair is coming forward towards her face to make those curvy swoops while his is going straight back completely out of his face. as the hair comes down around their shoulders it does what it pleases but for a masculine hair style youre gonna want to have the top going straight back and away from your face.
okay so that’s all ive got! this is how i try to break the long hair equals femininity assumption. if youve got any other questions or anything i should add just shoot me a message. hope this helps!!
This will be worded so messily and unorganized but asexuality is so weird like, you often end up questioning yourself because you don’t even know what sexual attraction is supposed to be like.
So many people don’t realize their asexuality cause they assume whatever attraction they do have must be the oh so fabled sexual attraction they hear so often about, see the common ace experience of confusing aesthetic or romantic attraction for sexual attraction.
Just the uncertainty of having thoughts like “I found this person pretty, is that sexual attraction? I kinda get nervous when I talk with this one classmate, is that getting ‘butterflies in my stomach’?”
Or there’s the alternative experience of assuming sex and sexual attraction is actually this one huge inside joke everyone’s into but of course nobody actually feels these things, right?
And the proceeding realization of “wait, you’re not joking? None of you are?”
I myself know so little about sexual attraction, it feels so foreign to me, and I’m just left with so many questions, Recently I just learned myself that apparently finding someone attractive and being attracted to them are two different things? What?? How do allo people keep up with all this stuff???
Being ace is weird
Also sorry if I caused confusion with the butterflies thing I forgot I’m also aromantic
sad girly girl who wears white dresses and curls her hair and puts on no makeup makeup every morning who gets a butch makeover montage at the end of the movie and everyone goes wow. also they replace his contact lenses with thick stupid nerd glasses. is this anything
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