arsen yong

shedding light on the uncertainty.

[arsenyong]

it has been weeks since my last entry, and the missing spaces inbetween this post to the last is because i now own a personal growth journal. there i write my own sentiments; just the same as how i write here, but more sentimental hence writing is lowkey and highkey effective at emotional release.

i may inconsistently post from time to time. i don’t know when will be the next one, who knows? i may start writing poetry or continue to improve my writing skills. one thing is for sure: i won’t stop writing.

if i reborn this blog and have the change of heart, it’s great. but, right now, i’m still contemplating where i will invest most of my time at. i guess i want to take this personal journey more sincere and ‘personal’ and—when i can sway time by my own hands and with all i want, that’s when i’ll come back.

i don’t know who may see this and who even cares while i’m writing this now-going-long message but, i’m fine!! and will always be. xx

p.s. i’m taking lorde and bts on this journey. they—although indirectly and may not know me—really help me. they are lights that shed in this slowly dimming world.

will always shed light on the uncertainty, Rommel (arsen yong)

[arsenyong]

meh

for a country who unofficially mandates pairing food with rice, i just ate a chicken drumstick w/o rice. never felt THIS good.

[arsenyong]

when in doubt, move and groove

too much making sense of things that it doesn’t make sense anymore, i found myself stuck in a routine: either i eat, sleep, watch, read, or write. i just realized that this personal growth journey of mine is more of spiritual; sometimes can be emotionally relieving, but i doubt if this routine of mine may help my physical health in any way. that’s when i decided to dance.

to dance . . . is something i dreamed of, but too afraid to try. yes i dance on showers, but not as a hobby i enjoy performing in front of people. i admit that i’m not confident in my body. but back to my personal journey, it is much preferable to conquer these weak/soft spots rather than just getting away with it. and so i danced.

sharing my thoughts out loud here, it made me relieved. but i never knew dancing would be, too. every single drop of sweat is worth it; felt like i just bid “bye felicia” to the toxins of my body lol.

idk why i wrote this. to express my thoughts? share? or maybe to inspire? i admit i’m still learning to dance, moving muscles, feeling the beat. i also realized how much self-worth i gained at learning a new skill. you guys should try. when in doubt, move and groove!

[arsenyong]

gROWTH!!

this may be a small thing for some but i just went out of our house today and not felt awkward around people

i think this is PROGRESS i guess

[arsenyong]

poems can be sometimes . . . dirty

i swear my mind wasn't ready when i've read dirty pretty things by michael faudet

NOT A GOOD STARTER IF U WANNA GET INVOLVED IN POEMS (esp if you're 18 under lmao)

[arsenyong]

a for awkward functionality

Some think it’s cute, but for me, being in a state of awkwardness is a difficulty I live by. And the reason I’m blurting this out is because of an another moment that has recently been added to my awkward playlist awhile ago. I HATE getting a haircut. Aside from the uneasy feeling I get from the razor blade (as a kid I find this process satisfying, but idk what happened to my skin rn that it became sensitive and grow rashes from the area where my hair is shaved), I always tend to isolate myself from people. I mean, I can be fine with crowded people, BUT NOT when we’re suffocated alongside one another and caged inside a room. Maybe I exaggerated that but that is what’s going on in my mind while I’m around those people. Well, spiraling down with these thoughts is a guaranteed ticket to an awkward interaction with people. Swear, I’ve also injected in my thoughts that I won’t be clumsy and jiggly around others. But on top of all, the awkward thoughts won against the others. Who would embrace it being the champion though? NO ONE.

I’m glad that I’m writing this without unease because that moment was finished; Honestly, I’m willing to bet a million dollars (if I can and have the money) to delete those moments out in my memory. Reflecting on what I had just done or whatnot, I am willing to eliminate this from my personality. Deep within my soul, I know this characteristic ISN’T ME. Even if some find it cute, they don’t know the feeling we, awkward people, encounter. We feel bad for being awkward. We don’t want to be on this state forever. We know that we are far more capable than just this. Awkward people like me would relate. Well, if you don’t identify yourself as one, then that’s great. You’ve got what we wanted. But it would be greater if you can help us out by not making us feel bad about ourselves whenever we’re in an awkward functionality. We really do need an assistance and support deep within. A human bean asking for favor to people and myself (if I don’t want to be awkward, chances are, I really need to help myself, too), Arsen

[arsenyong]

trying to see what’s good in people, that i lost figuring out what’s good in myself. i’m a liability, waiting to come out what’s good in me.

[arsenyong]

Searching

Today is a constant rattle of mind. Searching for clues, wandering whether something can be found. Myself, how can I know myself better? As I looked on the mirror to seek for answers, it was a feeling of relief to know that at least I'm aware. I'll continue searching for you.

[arsenyong]

- Lang Leav, Sea of Strangers

[arsenyong]

is life an asset or a liability?

[arsenyong]

Is there a thing where you think deep then think another scenario that is deeper than that and it goes deeper and deeper?

[arsenyong]

ok now i know what specific term for this thought thanks to THAT book i recently finished reading

it's turtles all the way down

[arsenyong]

According to what I saw on the news feed, that guy who wore a suit and interrupted a court in the middle of the game was found to have no bad intentions against the teams nor the people around. It was braveful for him to send a powerful message; he just wanted to unite the whole country this coming elections. That part of him was right—but the way he delivered the message was undoubtedly wrong. He could've just babbled it out on social media. But doing an act on a court—where many Filipinos are watching and a fan of—I think that guy was smart. He sacrificed his own image, but captured the attention of all. Oh God—it may sound like a fool—but I adore him for that.

[arsenyong]

BOB ROSS

can we talk for a half a minute on how bob ross paints from simple lines and strokes then *waitasecondjustblink* VOILA THERE YOU GO A LANDSCAPE

i stan, to say he's so good and iconic is an understatement

i also like how he narrates or speak with his paintings (which btw is a personal therapeutic feeling)

[arsenyong]

idk what's with my eyes that it easily tears up whenever it's near smokes or cutting onions—don't touch me guys i'm getting sensitive lately omygoD AM I GOING BLIND?? MAYBE MOM WAS RIGHT

[arsenyong]

lol meet our puppies; they're all kinda tired and sad on this pic, but sure as hell they're wild whenever they see a cat or stranger passing by~

[arsenyong]

A Stranger There is a love I reminisce, Like a seed I've never sown. Or lips that I'm yet to kiss, and eyes not met my own. Hands that wrap around my wrists, and arms that feel like home. I wonder how it is I miss, these things I've never known.

Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure

[arsenyong]

the fact that it's raining here when it's dry season—maybe the sun also gets tired. we all need a rest sometimes, i guess?