I could be all my life without knowing you but not a single moment without knowing that you existed

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@artemis6th
I could be all my life without knowing you but not a single moment without knowing that you existed
If you’ve been feeling empty:
It’s not about money. It’s not about social status. It’s not about where you are in comparison to everyone else. Are you okay? Are you fulfilled? Do you feel valuable on this earth? Does your life feel like a safe, peaceful and grounded place? Success is not enough. Distraction is not enough. It’s not about getting through the day, it’s about walking down an intentional path. Having fun can be very innocent but it can be very evil. Don’t close your eyes and walk through a minefield. Examine your intentions, for yourself and others. Don’t let yourself be a gateway to darkness. It will only drive you deeper into your own despair. If you’re a negative force for yourself, you negatively influence the people around you which makes you feel bad about yourself which causes you to act negatively which influences the people around you and so the cycle continues. Break it. You don’t need a good time, you need hope. You need purpose. You need to see how powerful you are when you’re fighting for your life. You need to know what winning feels like, not in the eyes of others but in the depths of your soul. It’s not too late but you need to act now. It’s not always the cool thing to be positive but a lot of cool people live empty lives and die alone. Don’t let yourself become a dead person who never lived. Lights are meant to shine. Love is meant to be shared. You are meant to be more than this. No more being asleep at the wheel, wake up now.
I won't let this felling go away, cause it change my life, my thoughts and gives me hope to be happy with the person i choose to be with
Thank you Lisa
Hi Lisa, first of all i hope you are doing great, hope can read this (i’m still trying to figure out how this works), anyway i want to sort of explain why i tweeted you “Thank you Lisa“ a few times in the past (in case you didn’t saw it), the reason is that i went through a rough path pretty much since i was born, you would have to check my “A little bit of my story” post to see what i’m talking about, but the thing is that i’ve always have problems to deal with self-confidence and other related issues and it was a constant battle between what people said and what i was feeling, finding help for that was hard but i could handle it for a while but i reached a point where frustration got heavier day by day so i had to find someone that i can relate to or has inspirational words, a way that i can distract myself from the whole mess that was going on my mind and my life while i was thinking in how to solve them and after quite a while until recently when you came in with your beautiful voice, amazing talent and wonderful personality, although i am little bit ashamed to admit that i didn’t knew about Cimorelli’s music till almost a year ago (my bad), you have no idea how much of an impact you had in my life, how much you helped me with those songs and even watching you livestreams, thanks to you is easier for me to face my everyday obstacles and have more strength to break my own limits and surpass my own limitations, physically and emotionally speaking. I seriously hope you see this and can read it to understand that after fighting my whole life, i finally can stay foot i keep saying “I Can” (instead of say it once in a while, lol). So i don’t know what else to say but, THANK YOU LISA CIMORELLI!!!
A little bit of my story...
Hi world!, my actual name is Diego, let’s face it, everyone hits a few bumps on the road at different points of our life, right?. Well, i started at the young age of one and a half years old when my parents were informed that i had to have heart surgery (by what i understood basically they had to cut & paste arteries and ventricles because they were...twisted i think). Now think that i’m an early ‘90 guy from Argentina (back then here medicine wasn’t as advanced as it is now but every country has their own pace for that, right?), so it was a near-death experience and let me tell you that even when i consider myself an agnostic person, in restrospective i lean more towards God for this one, cause it was like a second chance in life, however even when it was a successful surgery it didn’t ended it there, 9 days after this i had a stroke and we have to rush back to the hospital just in time to settle it . Although it left me with a sequel (and as most sequels it wasn’t good, lol), it left me with a disability that consisted in the reduction of my movility, less sensibility and a few more things that i’m not gonna bore you with (btw, if you’re still reading this, Thank you!), which affected only the right side of my body. So as you may imagine, after that i became like a tennis ball, bouncing from place to place trying to find a somewhere where they understood what was going on and knew how to help me understand it myself
It took a while but in 2005 (till 2013), i found one, someone that knew how to help me not only on professional level but also on an emotional one too (which believe it or not and since i grew up with this, makes it like a 50/50). I made a lot of progress (even more than the doctors diagnosed at the begining), unfortunately midway through the rehab (and to top it off) in 2009 i started having epilepsy (”luckily” it only focused on the right side of my body) which made me took 10 steps backwards out of the...let’s say 20 that i had take forward, so i had to re-teach myself a few things because of that, despite that i kept going not looking back to that situation, sadly in 2013 i had to cut the rehab with this person for personal reasons. Moving on to present day and after a few years of been on a break from all doctor related things, i’m back in a new place starting over with the recovery.
But all jokes aside, i’m not trying to put myself in the role of a victim here, in fact i’m a strong believer that things happen for a reason, besides the time machine it has not been invented yet so...what sense does it make to complain about it, when i was 13 i realized that i’d prefer to learn from what happened rather than think about the reason why it happened. Don’t get me wrong, till this day i deal with frustration everyday but is not in the same amount that it was in the past, because i made my peace with a lot of stuff, i’m a disabled guy that have to find the way around to do some things, i try not to hold on to it that much but at the same time is what made me who i am and to think the way i think about life (so...is not that bad, right?).
What i’m try to say with all of this is there’s always gonna be someone that is gonna be having a worst time than you, going through other hard stuff or even the same ones as you in their lives, so you have to learn to put things in perspective and realize what are the things that really matter to worry about for you, is not gonna be easy (trust me, i know!), but is possible and if you have the chance to share your experience to help someone else, that’s even better cause you’d both benefit from it. And...think about it, in this day and age the concept of “role model” has change for the better with social media and a lot more of stuffs so you have someone else to lean on and for a ton of people (myself included) the fact of the most minimum interaction with them means a world to you and at with that they helped you 10 (or even more) times than they’ll ever imagine.
So...in conclusion it might take time but you have to be strong cause as hard as something can be at that one point and as long it takes, everything will get better. It might sounds crazy but we all come to the world for a reason, so sooner or later we learn the why but in the meantime, be thankful for the good or bad things that happen in your life tho, you learn from everything, at your own pace but you do, and remember, Just a few things last forever, let’s try to make them be the good ones.
(If you make it till the end, Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, i’ve always try to think in ways to make my story help others in hard times (and since i’m a little shy in person this seemed like a good idea) so they would understand that there’s no bad that last forever, even when it seems like it, i’m still learning this myself, i’m just an average guy with a story that hopes it helps you with anything you’re going through. I wish you all a wonderful day/week/year or whatever, lol, Goodbye!) [Edited 5/11/17]
Literally how I became happy.
A lot of you guys are always concerned about me because the more that I share, the more you realize I’m a real person with struggles and issues and I’m not 100% okay 100% of the time haha so I just wanna give an update and share some insight on how I’ve been doing and what I’ve been working on. The hair cut is the visible part. The change is sooooo real. I look like a different person but I seriously FEEL like one. Surface changes: I live in Tennessee. I have short blonde hair. I’ve now dated two guys that I actually loved. I own a house and a car. Before, I lived in California, I had freaking long brown hair, I shared a mini van with four other people, I’d never been on a date and truly questioned whether I’d ever meet anyone that liked me for who I was, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life past like two years into the future and I felt like I would live with my parents forever. So a lot of big things have changed but honestly the biggest changes happened inside with less visible results. You can only see it in my smile and hear it in my words. But really you’ll see it in my actions over the next 12 months. It’s just the beginning. I honestly don’t know where it came from. The last six years I have been so passive. My life has been happening to me. There have been some breakthrough moments where I learned a lot about myself and my confidence and self love, yes. I had some good times for sure. But as far as knowing what I want and where I wanna go, I was not good at that. I felt SO powerless and began to withdraw more and more, in my friendships, my career, our band, my family, everything. I shared so little each day, I had so few ideas, I didn’t create much, I only wrote when I was really upset or inspired (which wasn’t that often), I had no social life, no vision for myself, no confidence that anyone would ever love me and I just wasn’t living a rich life at all. I was an observer hoping that one day someone or something would come along and make my life actually enjoyable. I was constantly waiting. I journaled a lot and released a lot of emotion, that part was good. I just felt like I was living in a cave, stuck in the past, not doing much each day to actually experience life. Then we moved across the country. *shock* *panic* *whoa*. That was the first time I was really shaken up. Then I had my heart broken. Twice. I fell in love and both times it didn’t work out. I NEEDED that, to meet people who actually got me and appreciated my personality and loved all my quirks and my strange mind and how childlike I am. For the first time I felt understood. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so closed off for so long and suddenly I was ripped open. Someone was asking for my time and attention and I had to give it to them. I was so scared but I really wanted to experience that side of life so I had to let those people see me and experience who I was. It was so good for me omg. I felt like my heart was shriveled and frozen before that, it had seen the sun maybe three times, but once that happened it absolutely bloomed. Not everyone has to fall in love to open their heart but for me that’s how it happened. Anyway it was really intense and pushed me to the edge, dealing with that loss. I cut off all my hair. I just had enough. I was so drained. I had felt so vulnerable throughout my dating experiences, such a long period of trusting and hoping after so many years of doing the opposite, I guess I became a little over exposed. I pictured myself feeling tough and strong after a particularly intense weekend of fighting and I saw myself with no hair. It was kind of a crazy idea at first but it turned into a real desire. After a few days of thinking it over, I took the plunge. What. A. Rush. Suddenly I just wanted to feel alive. I went a little overboard but I did so many things. Concerts, road trips, bonfires, social plans nonstop, shopping, reinventing my style… I was really hurting during this time and I just wanted to feel better. I don’t regret doing so much but I’m glad I came down after a month and examined myself. I realized how much I was hurting and I faced it. I felt scared, hurt, abandoned, broken and vulnerable but it was comforting to identify that. Once you face it, you can feel it, release it and eventually let it go. In October I realized I wanted more. I actually had dreams. Cutting my hair showed me I could have an idea, see it through and that it could actually go well! I wanted that on a bigger scale. I started writing again, all the time. I took an interest in my appearance again. Before, I just wanted people to think I’m pretty. Of course I still do but now it’s so much more than that. It actually is for me. When my outfit/makeup/overall look matches my mood, I feel so much more confident, comfortable with myself and ready to take on the day. Even in my work out clothes, I always try to coordinate them now and make them feel good because I know I just do more with my day when I feel confident and ready to put myself out there. You don’t need to look perfect AT ALL, in fact sometimes that can cause more stress because it puts more pressure on you. Just take the time to put yourself together and feel GOOD about what you’re wearing each day. It seriously makes a huge difference. And especially DO NOT wear anything that makes you feel bad. GET RID OF IT!!!! All your clothes should make you feel cute in some way. Idk how this happened but I kind of just realized nothing is a big deal. The way I used to live, EVERYTHING was a HUGE deal. Texting a guy? Leaving the house? Spending 30 dollars? Calling someone first? All terrifying things I dreaded and avoided at all costs. I had to work through so much INTENSE anxiety when I first started dating, it was really sad how much that freaked me out and how much I had to work through just to get to a point where I felt comfortable going on one date or being the object of a man’s attention. I felt so incredibly unworthy. Anyway, maybe it was the hair cut but sometime around then I just became really bold. Right now I feel like almost nothing scares me. My biggest fear is probably trusting people that have hurt me. That’s one thing I can think of that I’m struggling with and truly terrifies me, trying to rebuild broken relationships. I’m having help working through that. Other than that, there are so few things I won’t try, won’t pursue, won’t say to someone. I am becoming more bold, confident, comfortable in my own skin and sure of myself with each passing second. I just feel GOOD. Nothing is that big of a deal! Seriously force yourself to take more risks and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. You can spend weeks, months, even years fearing things and trying to predict what will happen but once you finally do them you’ll see just how unnecessary all that stress was. Nothing is that hard, that daunting, that permanent. Heck, even tattoos can be removed these days. I think that was the biggest change of all so far: the removal of fear. Fear used to be the gas in my tank, it absolutely fueled me. Now it’s faith. I am so ON FIRE for my life!!!!!! I have so many exciting dreams I want to pursue, so much I want to create, so many places I want to go, things I want to experience, learn, master, people I want to meet and be around….. I love it all. I decide what I want and I go after it. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I’m starting to look as bold and unique as I feel. The long hair was beautiful and fun and maybe one day I’ll want it back but for now, it just feels too plain for how colorful and out of the box my mind is. I always used my mind a lot but I wasn’t exploring it much before. Now that I’m embracing my unconventional brain, I just want to express that openness and share it with the world. Also I’ve noticed I’m getting disappointed comments from traditional, conformist men I never wanted to date anyway that used to love my hair 😂 so no offense but I was never interested in you anyway, there are soooooo many long haired women in the world you can comment on that you’ll probably never even meet but i’m just one less you need to worry about hahaha. All of the bold men that liked me before just like me more now. And I think it’s because I also like myself more! Confidence attracts confidence! I’m growing into the baller I was born to be and it’s just helping me attract more ballers 😂😂 BTW THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING LONG HAIR OR A MORE SIMPLE STYLE I FULLY SUPPORT IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON OR LIVE A WILD UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE TO BALL OUT ON EVERYONE THATS JUST HOW I CHOOSE TO DO IT HAHA. EVERYONE IS A BALLER IN THEIR OWN WAY I EMBRACE AVERAGE LOOKING PEOPLE AND WILD LOOKING PEOPLE, AS LONG AS YOURE LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE AND CHOOSING WHAT TRULY FULFILLS YOU!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE JUST LIVE IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT 🙌🏼 Anyway, I feel so much more confident in myself, men or no men. It’s funny cuz I finally stopped worrying about guys and now I actually interact with them the way I always wanted to hahaha. I no longer rely on the approval of others to get through the day. I no longer feel paralyzed by fear every morning and night. I no longer ponder whether I’m worthy of a date or not. I no longer look in the mirror and sigh. I no longer think of the future as a blurry grey blob filled with hopelessness, uncertainty and fear. I know it will be whatever I make it and I am going to make it freaking phenomenal. That’s a huge key, putting YOURSELF in the drivers seat. Forget this message of victimization. You are the person holding yourself down but YOU can be the one to lift yourself up!!!! Wow I just got a huge craving for meat loaf and mashed potatoes. HAHAHA. Anyway, put yourself in control. Ask God for guidance. Trust that you are taken care of always because YOU ARE. Embrace yourself. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Stop thinking you’re unlovable. Realize how cool you are and how much you have going for yourself. Jump in and try things. Stop thinking you have to be “ready”. THE LESSONS OF FAILURE ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PRIZES OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!! On that note, go kill it. Embrace yourself. Blossom. Live. Come alive. You got this 👊🏼💗
First time using this so idk if you’re gona see this or not Lisa but...thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. THANK YOU
Lejos del Yin y el Yang, mas allá del bien y del mal, fuera del limite entre la nada y la eternidad se halla la tranquilidad.