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@arthur-thedarkwizard-blog
Hello everyone,
I wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to quit. Not because I wouldn’t like to stay in the legion, it’s just that my hobbies are usually 100% or nothing. And I simply don’t have the time to give 100%. There’s a lot of things I need to do (and sleeping at the time when all my American friends are online is one of them). So yeah please start the party now that I’m gone.
I wish all of you the best.
I thought you'd have stupid ideas. Then I met a guy who, when on a boat, put out his arse when a photographer was on the coast, so that his arse would be on the photo.
….
Are you implyin’ that you want a pic of my ass, darlin’?
arthur-thedarkwizard:
Keep reading
Weiterlesen
Darlin', I think you owe me a dance!
[grabs his hand and drags him to the dancing floor]
[leans in even closer]
Well, I’m gonna be as much a part of your life as Alfred is, right? I’ll just be tryin’ to skin you alive durin’ that. So tell me… How’s life?
[looks straight into his eyes, grimly, making no bones of that he’s insulting him ] Life’s pissing me off when you’re there.
I understand. Everyone here is too busy, so I’m usually by myself. Though when the red moon was out last night, all the creatures at the aquarium were having the time of their lives. That was kinda fun. [Takes a bite of her cereal]
I do believe that some of us do have quite much time. As you get paid and thus don’t really need a job. [shrugs] Well, I can just say that the werewolves weren’t having the time of their life. I’ve heard of one dying not too far from here this time. [and he continues eating]
[there's a very, very hesitant knock on his door]
[there’s some whimpering and Arthur seemingly talking to someone] But I wanted to help you! I really did!
….don’t try to talk to me, you are a BLOODY ILLUSTION! You are DEAD!
[leans in and presses their foreheads together] But I already spoke my mind, Artie. You’re the only one for me. You’re my angel. My sweet darlin’. My precious.
[huffs] You- You don’t understand! You’re just stupid and don’t understand me at all! [grimly] If I’m an angel, then I feel very gloomy for the future of heaven.
*poops on u* welcome back
[punches anon in the face] Sod off!
Ahhh…yes…..um. May you speak English and tell me step by step how to use it. I am afraid I do not speak Hocus Pocus.
I’m speaking English! [snorts] And it’s still me who had the most of work!
Alright, first I need a name for each of those statues so that it works specifically for them. Look, I named this… [furrows his brows] wonderful piece of art… [he holds up some really cheap looking little snowman] lump of ice. [can you hear the irony?] [puts it down on the table]. It grows for example twice it’s size when I say “{Grow twice your size} Lump of ice” [and it actually grows haha] and shrinks when I say “{Shrink to the half} Lump of ice” [does so].
For the feeding from the soul… well, like I said, I will do the connection for you. Then you simply need to lay down the statue next to your soul and say {Connect the bond}.
Well, and that’s it.
[There was a snicker during his display] Lovely, glad to know you share a special bond with lump of ice…. [another snicker before shes clearing her throat]
So I go and name the statues and say those weird words? You must understand I am a bit reluctant……
[snorts and laughs] I know, we’ve got a very special relationship.
Yes, exactly. When you want them to grow or shrink, you have to say what I told you. Shall I write it down? [sighs and shrugs] Just go on and ask your questions now. It’s better than asking me about it later when I’m busy with something else.
Can anyone inform me about the things I’ve missed? Was the legion bombed? Did anyone of you start a war? Do we have someone new who wants to turn all of us into teddy bears? Oh, and what was the last stupid thing Alfred did?
[Rapping Iggy Azalea as she’s listening to her iPod and making breakfast]
First things first I’m the realest. Drop down and let the whole world feel it. And I’m still in the murder business. I can hold you down like I’m giving lessons in physics.
[is eating cornflakes] [looks up when he hears the rapping]
[with a snarky voice] Is this what people call music these days?
[Looks up to see Arthur and takes off her headphones] Oh hey Arthur. Morning! It’s been a while since I saw you. [Pauses song and sits down next to him with her bowl of cocoa punch] What’s you been up to?
Morning. [nods] That doesn’t surprise me, I haven’t had a lot of... human interaction lately. Except from the fact that I’ve been writing down the results of our study from work, I’ve been training for quite a bit.
[there's a very, very hesitant knock on his door]
[there’s some whimpering and Arthur seemingly talking to someone] But I wanted to help you! I really did!
….don’t try to talk to me, you are a BLOODY ILLUSTION! You are DEAD!
arthur-thedarkwizard:
[looks at him]… [laughs dryly] And there I was sure that you had an incredible love for romance novels and learnt those words by heart.
[sticks out his tongue] Maybe I did. Do they mean any less, though?
Wha-! [automatically pushes Alfred’s arms down and away from him]] I knew I couldn’t trust in that you were speaking your mind!
[Rapping Iggy Azalea as she’s listening to her iPod and making breakfast]
First things first I’m the realest. Drop down and let the whole world feel it. And I’m still in the murder business. I can hold you down like I’m giving lessons in physics.
[is eating cornflakes] [looks up when he hears the rapping]
[with a snarky voice] Is this what people call music these days?
arthur-thedarkwizard:
[annoyed sigh] That’s not really difficult considering that you’ve got different body language and different speech patterns.
[leans in reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyy close] Tell me about life, Arthur.
[freezes in a leaning back from him position] What’s that fucking to do with you?!
Darlin', I think you owe me a dance!
[grabs his hand and drags him to the dancing floor]
arthur-thedarkwizard:
on-freedoms-wings:
Keep reading
Keep reading
Weiterlesen
I thought you'd have stupid ideas. Then I met a guy who, when on a boat, put out his arse when a photographer was on the coast, so that his arse would be on the photo.
….
Are you implyin’ that you want a pic of my ass, darlin’?
arthur-thedarkwizard:
Keep reading
Weiterlesen
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?
In your wildest dreams.
Fear me, I am back!
