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aiden-harper:

It was an innuendo, babe, but I suppose it went over your pretty head. But if you insist on touching everything, then I’d be the last person to stop you. I know, but you shouldn’t. You know I say the weirdest shit sometimes. Aw, was it? Did it make you smile? Right, completely unprofessional, but also completely hot, completely satisfying… you know I wouldn’t tell anyone, right? It can be our little secret.

An innuendo? For? .... Oh... OH. NO. We’re not doing that, Aiden. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not going to happen. Reguardless, we need to take everything into consideration. Especially since we don’t want another episode on our hands. Sure did. ... I’m not disagreeing with that idea. Or the fact that you would keep it as quiet as possible. Just... it could get me into a lot of trouble I don’t need, Aiden. I’m sorry.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

I guess, but not the only topic we need to ‘touch upon’. I don’t even remember what I said. Really, you shouldn’t take everything that I say so damn seriously. That’s cool, we could always change positions if that makes you more comfortable, Doctor, Reyes. …Just kidding, obvi. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about, or do you really expect me to believe that you haven’t thought about me in the same way? But I suppose if you really want specifics then I could give you some. For example, right now I’m thinking about hiding under your desk and sucking you off. How does that make you feel, Doc?

Oh really? What are the other topics then? I’d gladly prepare something so we can touch upon all of them. Unfortunately, Aiden, in this situation we have to take everything you say as seriously as possible. It’s how things work around here. Again, very funny, haha. Whether I have or not isn’t the point, it’s completely unprofessional of me to. That makes me feel... like this conversation could really get me in trouble....

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Nah, they’re not. They’re very loving and caring people. Trust me, you’ll love them when you get to meet them. Again, not joking, babe. I hope talking isn’t all we’ll be doing. Because I have been thinking about doing other things with you quite a lot lately. And I know you have too, so don’t even bother with lying, babe. Just admit that you want me.

Right, well, they’re still a topic we need to touch upon. Especially considering what you said about them prior in this discussion. I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much, Mr. Harper. There’s still boundaries I need not cross given our positions. What... other things, exactly? Aiden, I’m in no position to admit to anything of the sort, you know that. You’re one of my patients.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Sure I am, babe. And nah, that little meeting didn’t have anything to do with it. You’re completely barking up the wrong tree there, but that’s okay. Can’t blame you for wanting to know more about the future in-laws. Great, I can’t wait. I’m missing you already, Doc. Who said anything about jokes? I was actually pretty serious. We should go out some time, so you can show me just how much you care about me.

Alright, if that’s what you’d like to say about it. I’d still like to discuss them as thoroughly as possible. And no, that’s not why. It’s because I do think they’re a rather large aggravator for you. And discussing them is in your best interest... Again, very funny, Mr. Harper. We’ll talk about this when I see you.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Yea, yea, sure you can. Don’t worry, Arty, you’re definitely a good samaritan. Remind me to give you a gold star next time I see you. Sure, we’ll talk about my folks if you really want to. I personally think that’s a bit much, considering we haven’t even gone on a proper first date yet, but whatever makes you happy, babe.

Good, I’m glad you’re starting to see things my way Aiden. It’s gonna work out for you, I promise. Good, because I feel like that’s a good place to start. Is with them. Especially considering the timing of everything that’s happened in the past day or two. So as soon as you’re released from the ward, we’ll meet. Funny, Mr. Harper. Let’s not make too many jokes like that though, I wouldn’t want to get in trouble with the higher ups.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

There’s no way you’ll ever understand, unless you go through it yourself. Anyone that doesn’t know what it’s like just sees me as a lunatic, a psychopath.. and fuck, they’re probably right. I don’t see what good talking about it is. I’ve already said way too much as far as I’m concerned. But I know how it goes around here, you’ll keep bugging me until I fucking talk to you, or you’ll get me doped up some more for being a shithead to you so whatever… let’s just get it over with. What do you wanna know about my insanity today, Dr. Reyes?

I can’t go through it myself, I’m sorry. But I can try my best to understand. I don’t see you as a lunatic, Aiden. I see you as a normal person who just needs a bit of guidance.... nothing today. But I’d like to know if you’d be willing to speak with me face to face. In my office, in a therapy session. I’d most definitely like to talk about your meeting with your parents today.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

That’s just bullshit and you know it. What can I possibly say to convince you to let me die? You have no idea what it feels like to be me, you just think you do. Do you know what it’s like to feel like you’re the happiest person on earth, only to switch to feeling like everyone you loved has been violently murder in a matter of hours, sometimes minutes, for no apparent reason? Do you know what it feels like to not be real? Like the whole world is either too bright or entirely grey and you’re just floating above it and watch yourself like you’re watching a movie? Do you know what it feels like to feel so empty inside that the only thing you can do to feel better is making yourself bleed? Exactly, you don’t so kindly fuck off, Arty. I’m not in the mood for lies, I’m not in the mood for bullshit. Nobody cares, nobody loves me, not here and not anywhere else.

No, I’ll admit have no idea how you feel right now. But if you talk to me it could help me to understand, Aiden. And it could help you in the long run because I can assist you in getting better, and be there for you. Even if it’s just being there for you that helps you in any kind of way. I care, Aiden. I’m here, and I care about you and your wellbeing. So please, why not try opening up to me? And see where that takes you?

#aiden

aiden-harper:

See, I knew it! It was just another stupid trick… you won’t let me die. You’re too much of a pussy to help me. Why should I talk to you about anything? Not like you would understand. You just think you do because you read it in a book somewhere, but you don’t feel what I feel. Fuck, you don’t even listen half the time. You just like how my misery makes you feel better about yourself, that’s all. Yea, they were here. So? They were here for that same reason. And look, now they’re gone again. Couldn’t stand to be around me for more than half an hour. They don’t care, they don’t love me… nobody loves me…

It’s not a trick, I said you had to convince me. Which you’re yet to do. Trust me Aiden, if that was true, I would not being having this conversation with you right now. I’ve done more than read it in a book, and of course I listen to you. I’m not trying to help you feel better because of anything doing with me. It’s because I wholeheartedly care about you. I want you to feel better. Fine, you want to believe they don’t love you then I’m not gonna force you into a mindset otherwise. But people do love you, plenty of the people around here.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Not this shit again… Nobody send me here because they care about me. It only works like that in your fairytale world of rainbows, unicorns, love and happiness. My parents just wanted me out of their way. They were sick and tired of dealing me. I don’t blame them, because I’m sick and tired too… I can’t handle all these thoughts, these feelings… and I can’t handle not feeling anything either… So, if you really wanna help me, then stop trying to be some cheerleader that’s tooting my horn. Save that shit for Summers. And if you can stop jerking off to my misery for a second and bring me a knife, that would be even better. Or maybe a rope or a bunch of pills if you don’t want me to bleed all over the carpet. That’s the only thing I need from you, Reyes.

Well they might be sick and tired of dealing with you, but there’s plenty of us who aren’t. Which is why you’re not getting any of those things. If you don’t want to deal with those thoughts and feelings then talk about them. Relieve yourself of them. Allow me to help you with them... You’re parents were just here, Aiden. They wouldn’t come to see you if they didn’t care about you.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Well color me slightly impressed that you would go as far as lying to me and trying to convince me that you’d actually let me end it in order to get me to talk to you. Fine, Arty. I’ll tell you if it will make you fuck off. Why should I kill myself? Because I’m nothing, nobody.. just another psycho society locked away because they couldn’t stand the sight of me. There’s no happy ending for me, and there’s no happy ending for anyone around me. I’m a failure, I’m worthless, I’m fucking poison…

That what you wanted to hear? Did it give you the boner you were hoping to get?

What makes you think that you’re nothing or nobody? You were something enough to someone to care enough to send you here. What makes you feel like you’re worthless, Aiden? Because I happen to think you’re otherwise, for many reasons.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

What’s the point? Not like you’ll ever let me. That would go against everything you stand for. You’d rather delude yourself into thinking that you can save me, that I’m worth saving. This is just another trick, and I’m offended you’d think I’m dumb enough to fall for it.

Doesn’t matter. You can still go fuck yourself.

You don’t know that. I stand for a lot of things, one of them is helping someone relieve their suffering. You’ve yet to convince me that that could help you with yours, but who knows... you’re good a persuasion, Aiden. I don’t think you’re dumb enough to fall for anything, I just think you’re stupid to keep yourself in a rut. Start talking. Convince me of what you want.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

Nothing’s gonna change my mind. I want to die. I need to die. When will you fucking people understand that? I don’t wanna talk to you, and I don’t wanna listen to this bullshit!

Go fuck yourself, Arty. You’re not my type.

Alright, fair enough. You’re set on it, you want to die, you need to die. But then change our minds. Why do you need to die? Start talking and convincing us, Aiden. Otherwise you’ll bee stuck here forever.

I wasn’t coming onto you, Aiden. I was merely asking you what I stated above.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

If you really think that pumping my body full with meds to the point where I can barely stay awake is going to make me change my mind about staying in this rotten world then you fucking therapists need to get your own minds checked. ASAP.

Aiden, the sedation wasn’t an attempt to get you to change your mind about what you were doing. It was just to keep you from actually doing it. The only way to change your mind is for you to talk about what you’re feeling.

Which is why I’m here. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on inside of your head.

#aiden

aiden-harper:

PM: You’re right, I don’t think so right now, and I won’t think so ever. How is it the best thing possible? Why do you even care, Art? Is your own life really that empty and unfulfilling that you have to delve into the fucked up minds of people like me to feel like you matter?

PM: I care so much because I believe every living being deserves to live contently with who they are. Even the ones who might need a little help. So, I’m willing to help them. My life is fine the way it is, thank you. I do my job because I care about all of you. And I’m determined to bring you to care about yourself one day. To the point where you want to live.

#pm: aiden

aiden-harper:

PM: …And you’re being paid to tell me this. Look, I know who I am, what I am… what I feel, what I do… and you don’t. Like you said, it’s a clean slate, no preconceived notions… so then don’t assume that me being alive is a good thing, doc…

PM: I don’t do this job for the money. I do this job because I think people like you are worth helping, and are worth living.... you might not think so right now, but you being alive and with us is one of the best things possible. You’ll see that one day, Aiden.

#pm: aiden

aiden-harper:

PM: What’s there to talk about? He’s dead… I hope he’s happy now… He must be… Must feel good, not having to deal with this anymore… Not being a burden anymore… just… being nothing, just ashes…

PM: You’re not a burden. Neither was Mason. Both of you are both amazing people to have around, and there would be nothing nice about you dying.

#pm: aiden

aiden-harper:

PM: McCarthy is dead…

PM: Yes Aiden, I know. He passed a few months ago due to some unfortunate turn events... I’m sorry no one told you sooner. Do you need to talk about it?

#aiden #pm: aiden

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