beth

everyone dies but not everybody lives

[marleencrossing]

*gets stuck on a mission in a game* *doesn’t play for another 4234 years*

[thatsmoderatelyraven]

why………do…people..not..take..showers…..

[shinespike-deactivated20181205]

because theft is illegal

[prozach27]

One time in a science class this guy was talking about how nerdy girls aren’t cute, but it is kinda sexy when a hot girl can use a microscope so I looked back at him and said, “yeah, it must be nice when a girl can finally see your penis”

[payingtaxes]

god bless your soul

[savingsophie]

eat whatever you want and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

[just-your-averaqe-teenaqe-qirl]

That escalated quickly.

[prettyheathen]

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

[sextronautt]

we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.

[sun-spiral-deactivated20210109]

[pobrekita]

yesterday no one was answering a question correctly in class and my teacher became so incredibly depressed at our lack of potential that he just

right out the window

[ha-ppymess]

[kaboombop]

Have an Orlando Bloom imitating Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow on your dash

[marcholasmoth]

this is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen

[crazykissing]

are you in love?

[bunlly]

no, actually, i’m in bed

[thatlamebroadwaychick]

same thing

[gabriellabowden]

be cool 2 ur pets. they have a very small life and u r a god to them. guide them through their life like a really cool tour guide and leave them with the best impression of earth

[untexting]

Snapchatting someone you like is SO much harder than snapchatting a friend. 

[postscribed]

by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean I look 12

[puppyally]

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

[fishingforanvils]

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

[darthouse]

I hate when a person says they’ve had a bad day and everyone, instead of trying to cheer them up, enters a competition of who’s had the shittest life

[bunlly]

amazing hike for DofE, loved every moment of it (even the rain)

from my insta