this picks up in notes every so often so a summary of my answers to those things:
Q: I love how the quality degrades with each reply!
A: yeah my body was going into organ failure I didn't have much in me for art. which is why I made the post lol
Q: I can't rest / take care of myself I have something I HAVE to do first
A: you will get there faster and less destructively if you are taking care of yourself. rest doesn't mean "I need a full week of doing absolutely nothing" by default. give yourself a half hour to actually relax. even ten minutes. there are inevitably windows of time in your life that you are dedicating to stressing out about what you're not doing. use that time to do what you can to be gentle with yourself. and when you have the option to treat yourself, do so.
Q: I don't know what my problem is but I'm sure there is one because what the fuck else could it be I feel like shit all of the time
A: get your iron and vitamin levels checked. start taking a multivitamin. try removing gluten or dairy from your diet (replace them with other things!! this is not weight loss!!) and see if anything improves because secret intolerances can develop and make you feel like garbage. if you notice it worse with specific foods, try leaving those out as well and cross reference ingredients. get one physical hobby even if it's something simple like making paper airplanes sometimes. ask for help when needed. seek help when needed. clean your water bottle (all of it, really) and replace your toothbrush. push to get the treatment you need I know that it sucks and I know that doctors will be jerks about it but figuring out what's wrong has to matter more and I'm sorry I don't have any tips for making that easier. try compression socks and a shower chair. keep wearing a mask. I love you and you'll figure this out. I'm serious about the dietary change checks though celiac is a bastard and gluten is in fucking everything. get used to googling ingredients. itll work out.
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