My family graced me with a new human nuisance, baby Dionte. Here’s a tale of one of his first days as told by my grandma after the baby visited her house:
“Baby Dionte and his mother were here tonight, and while she was feeding the little guy, he wet through his outfit. So, Noah, his daddy, decided to change the baby. This was rich! He struggled getting the pants off and then struggled more with the snaps in the crotch of the onesie. Finally down to the diaper he said “ACH! It’s poop too!” Gagging, he proceeded to try to clean the little guy’s butt off. Then Noah called out to his mom: “Mom, he’s got poop up his butthole. What am I supposed to do?” It went from there to, “Mom, it’s all over his nuts and I can’t get it off!” Then…”Mom, how hard can I wipe his nuts?” Then, because Noah was holding the baby’s feet up bent up over the baby’s head, a volcanic eruption of liquid, yellow poop came shooting out toward him! 😂 To this… more “ACH!” Now, there’s poop on the baby’s butt, down his legs because he rolled into a pile of it, and all over the changing pad. It’s on Noah’s hands and Noah is going through baby wipes by the dozens! My daughter (little Dionte’s grandmother) was laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee herself! Then, just as Noah gets most of the poop cleaned off, another volcanic eruption of yellow poop comes squirting out, right at Noah! 🤣 Now we are running out of wipes, and the baby is literally surrounded by poop, and as Noah starts to clean the baby off again, the baby pees on him! That was it… that was all he could take! Now my daughter is absolutely falling off the chair laughing so hard, but Noah yells, “Help…I need a professional! I’m drowning here!” So, my daughter, tears streaming down her cheeks from laughing so hard, goes over to the couch to rescue Noah. He used up an entire package of baby wipes! To say I didn’t laugh at this spectacle would be a lie… I couldn’t help myself!”