Ary Jansen

//// multi media ///// video ///// sound ///// trans //// art /////

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outside AUT’s visual arts building for assessment

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end of year two - 2014 

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my first art video - a collaboration between me and my good friend jessica dew for our year 13 media class in 2010 

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documentation of ‘what makes me deserving of this space?’ at unitec in eden art awards

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Transcript:

 1 What makes me deserving of this space? Who deserves space? Everyone? Who gets space? The privileged. What am I using this space for? Myself? Helping others? Questions. Answers? Critique. Of who? Systems. And me. Systems are ingrained in me. They’re ingrained in us all. We can’t work outside of the institution because institutions are inside of us, they are ingrained in us from the moment we’re born. Institutions of gender, sexuality, patriarchal white cis normativity. Eventually you can't help but figure out that, while gender is a construct, so is a traffic light, and if you ignore either of them, you get hit by cars. Which, also, are constructs. (THIS IS A QUOTE FROM IMOGEN BINNIES NEVADA) I choose not to ignore the institution but instead begin to deconstruct and unlearn. When I take off my jeans bottle caps always fall out. I am in the business of unconscious collection. Ideas, feelings, thoughts, listening, absorbing, regurgitating. Beers and bottle caps. Once I fortnight I inject myself with something that makes me harder and stronger. I’m becoming a werewolf. We’re taught that harder and stronger is better. But what is hard and strong? War? Violence? Science? Religion? Patriarchy. Colonisation. Anger. White supremacy. Unwavering ignorance. What is soft and weak? Nurturing, forgiveness, listening, emotion, empathy, love, sadness, vulnerability, understanding. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between self care and self harm. Maybe it’s not such a dichotomy. Maybe nothing is. I don’t believe in selflessness, but maybe I’m just being selfish. The Binary between cis and trans is buzzy. 2 What makes me deserving of this space? I’m transitioning into the demographic of ultimate privilege⎯a middle class white guy.  I stand now with more confidence than I ever have; strangers have never treated me with so much respect and ease. But it’s with a sense of unease that I step into the violent legacy of my colonialist Daddies.  Who’s your Daddy and what did he pass on to you: a way of thinking and living that eliminates those that don’t fit hegemonic families? When are we going to stop thinking of white and masculine as default and neutral? When are we going to stop cutting things off from context and trying to examine them in a ‘neutral’ space. How can anything, really, be neutral?  Welcome to the privilege matrix, if you look hard enough you’ll see that there is no spoon. An artwork is supposed to be the tip of an ice burg⎯a tiny point accessible only to those with an art education, with all that heavy, dangerous context floating beneath it, invisible. What if I show you a little more? I cannot deny context. I will not deny that I am making this artwork with the hope of winning a competition, for monetary gain. And if I do win, that money will go towards paying a surgeon to cut my breasts off.  I don’t believe in selflessness, but maybe I’m just being selfish. I will not deny that everything I know, I learnt from articles that my friends share on facebook. And that I am scrambling to be the best little white boy I can be, and that I shouldn’t be doing this for validation but I am, in hope that soon i’ll get past that and actually fucking help someone.   I will not deny that this is an institution turned institution, that this building was designed to get lost in: this building was designed to keep people in.  If my trans-self didn’t bounce across hegemony in a white masculine shell with pocket money from my parents tucked neatly in my back pocket… if I didn’t have the education I gained from hegemonic institutions to neatly polish off my identity in an A- essay, I might be locked away too. They gave me a gender I didn’t want, but I was lucky enough to return it and get a re-fund. What if I couldn’t? What if it was 100 years ago? I could well be sitting in this same cell in a whole other capacity. We’re so obsessed with putting everything in a nice little box, but I’m starting to see through the walls. My work feels unresolved. What if there are no resolutions. My work feels immature. I’m going through puberty. I’m a very very hungry caterpillar, and I choose the red pill. 3 Dear Art, I hate you because you are a mirror that reflects what dominates and controls and what dominates and controls are ignorant white men who have never had to think about oppression. I hate you because you celebrate minorities when they celebrate their cultures, but ignore them when they try to use you as platform to speak of their oppression under your power. And so this power continues. I hate you because you are excited about what representing diverse people does for your own image, but don’t actually listen to what these diverse people have to say. I hate you because you are a wolf in sheeps clothing, and I don’t think that you can see this yourself. I hate you because you have the privilege of shying away from things that make you uncomfortable. I hate you because you created a language for white middle class people and blame others for their ignorance when they didn’t have the time or money to learn it. I hate you because I am constantly trying to talk to you about how I’m afraid of being like you, and you never listen. I hate art because I expect you to say that I am being too emotional, and despite the fact that I am a boy you don’t see me that way and I can still suffer under your misogyny. I hate you because you said that Louise Bourgeois should get over her daddy issues. I hate you because you have nothing to be emotional about, but when you are, you’re tenderly stroked for being sensitive. I hate you because my existence is political, and we are them same thing but you’re allowed to just be an abstract painter. I hate you because you are my father and you never pay child support, but I still said thank you when you pat me on the back and say that it must be hard. I hate you because as disgusted as I am with myself I thought that I was privileged enough to be a part of your legacy, and maybe I was wrong. I hate you because I am still running head first into the white walls. I hate you because I am still using my manners. I hate you, because everything I hate about you I hate about myself. I hate you because I don’t hate you. I love you. From your transgender son, Ary Jansen.

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sound design 

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Gallery Visits

Manifesto (of Systematic Connection)Fri Jun 17 at Auckland Old Folks Association

jemima gale 'boy problems'Sat Jun 11 in UTC+10 at Victorian College of the Arts (VC (i didn’t actually go this, i just wanted to and was in conversation with the artist about it, but it was in melbourne) 

Exhibition opening - Dieneke Jansen: Dwelling on the StoepThu Jun 9 at ST PAUL St Gallery

PUBLIC DOMAIN Art Fair '16 // Opening 27th May 6:00pmFri May 27 at 21 Shaddock St, Eden Terrace, Auckland 1021, New Zealand

Fellowship Forum #3: looking back to move forwardThu May 26 at ST PAUL St Gallery Two, 40 St Paul St

Terror Internationale presents Friday 13th Group ShowFri May 13 at Terror Internationale

Say it back to me? I want to hear how it soundsWed May 11 at St Paul Street, Gallery three, WB buildin

Perfume River presents REALITY BITESFri May 6 at FUZZY VIBES 151 Karangahape Rd

SPAG BOG - Philippa EmeryThu May 5 at GLOVEBOX

Fellowship Forum #1: a public discussionThu May 5 at ST PAUL St Gallery Two

The Flame of the Pacific: Irwan Ahmett and Tita Salina, ST PAUL St Research Fellowship exhibition openingThu Apr 21 at ST PAUL St Gallery Two

WHITE NIGHT | Overseas BFSat Mar 12 at GLOVEBOX

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Bibliography

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EDEONmuPHw

The Wasp Factory - ian banks

Nevada - Imogen Binnie

Whipping Girl - Julia Serano

Gender Outlaws

Published on Oct 13, 2014

An open dialogue hosted by Eugene Lang College The New School for Liberal Arts (http://www.newschool.edu/lang) on sexuality with bell hooks, Marci Blackman (Author of Tradition), Samuel “Chip” Delany (Director, Creative Writing (Fiction), College of Liberal Arts, Temple University), and M. Lamar (video artist and sculptor).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpdJUGn0FHE

http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/2015/07/27/emotional-labor-what-it-is-and-how-to-do-it/

http://moontimewarrior.com/2014/03/30/more-than-a-night-of-harmless-fun-hawaiian-themed-parties-and-cultural-appropriation-as-genocide/

http://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/the-first-digital-transgender-archive-is-a-lesson-in-history-discrimination-relationships-and-everyday-life

https://vimeo.com/144782433

http://www.cuntext.com/2015/hurt-people-hurt-people/

https://www.facebook.com/hashtag500words/posts/424373844402812?fref=nf

http://www.gal-dem.com/this-one-time-on-my-gap-yah/

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/02/be-accountable-when-abusive/

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/02/white-people-emotions-tears/

http://www.e-flux.com/journal/the-truth-of-art/

http://harlot.media/articles/1058/we-need-a-decolonized-not-a-diverse-education

"To what degree and in what way can individuals hope to change the world they are living in? Let us look at art as a field in which attempts to change the world are regularly undertaken by artists and see how these attempts function. In the framework of this text, I am not so much interested in the results of these attempts as the strategies that the artists use to realize them.

Indeed, if artists want to change the world the following question arises: In what way is art able to influence the world in which we live? There are basically two possible answers to this question. The first answer: art can capture the imagination and change the consciousness of people. If the consciousness of people changes, then the changed people will also change the world in which they live. Here art is understood as a kind of language that allows artists to send a message. And this message is supposed to enter the souls of the recipients, change their sensibility, their attitudes, their ethics. It is, let’s say, an idealistic understanding of art—similar to our understanding of religion and its impact on the world.”

http://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/emo-was-the-last-true-subculture?utm_source=idfbanz

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/10/as-an-aboriginal-teen-i-thought-about-killing-myself-every-day

https://vimeo.com/149744547

https://rhizome.org/editorial/2010/dec/14/required-reading/

jeremy bailey

geane van heeswijk

https://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/you-dont-want-to-be-an-it-girl-in-2016/?utm_source=idfbanz

http://archermagazine.com.au/2016/03/asexuality-coming-out-as-ace/

http://popcrush.com/mykki-blanco-gay-media-inclusivity-problem/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_in_Bugis_society -irwan

http://tvblogs.nationalgeographic.com/2012/09/28/when-gender-is-not-binary/

http://sexmagazine.us/sexlife/rowan-oliver-queer-ensemble-early-evening-park-performance-official-video/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDMx0CSkU04 days of revolt: the problem

“We all know what happened when they gave free gifts away when they first came to New Zealand, they gave them an axe, blankets, rifle, tobacco.. I don’t know why they’re giving this out, this is not going to take the pain away, this is not sufficient to take the pain away from everyone they’re evicting from their homes.”  

JULIANA HUSTABLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42h07PatCWw juliana huxtable - it gets better 2 - poetry - black people in popular culture and the lack of

https://www.frieze.com/article/translating-self

http://www.artnews.com/2015/11/20/its-always-a-question-of-fantasy-juliana-huxtable-on-her-indisputably-brilliant-performa-commission/

https://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/artist-zackary-steiner-fox-explores-queer-marginalisation-while-living-on-a-houseboat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDgQ9QgIVI8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL82jzwHBNQ touching the art - new museum w juliana huxtable etc — some very awkward cissexist shit by the host

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K8_Hardy - k8 hardy - the artist who was really annoying and not funny in above video

“what’s a **nnial?” “it’s like a sports competition”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsHXmS1jJYE salon - transgender in the mainstream

“first up is a white guy” loooool

mark quin - cis sculptor that juliana huxtable mentions

buck angel and alana star - trans porn stars

“using people as signs for ideas”

GORDON HALL

http://bombmagazine.org/article/1000139/gordon-hall

https://vimeo.com/117595361 gordon hall: residencies in depth video

http://blog.newhive.com/transtrender-a-meditation-on-gender-as-a-racial-construct/

http://www.eyecontactsite.com/2016/02/luke-willis-thompson-in-auckland - fiona told me to look

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZE-6gKOLFUdnJycGicV1Rw

http://thewireless.co.nz/themes/change/a-portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man sylvan

"I don’t think I was ever really a womanbut I certainly never felt like a man. I don’t even know what I mean byfeeling like a man, it’s just a word and a set of connotations that has little to do with the many men that I know and love, but more to do with newspapers and suits, legs planted far apart, barbeque tongs, a hand clap on the back and a braying laugh. It’s a word, that’s all. And I am still waiting for someone to adequately explain to me what it means to be a man, or a woman – and I’ve asked lots of people. Nobody has any authority on anything, beyond what it means to be themselves.”

http://i-d.vice.com/en_gb/article/watch-hari-nefs-searing-ted-talk-on-trans-survival?utm_campaign=iduk&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#link_time=1463149700

http://fashionista.com/2016/05/hari-nef-fashion-gender-subversion-moma

""When you're talking about this rigid binary ... and then start talking about it in the context of objects, you're sublimating something that is so limited to begin with and making it even more limited." Moreover, she argued that the images and genres in fashion that are supposedly "subversive" to gender actually just reinforce the binary. “

https://www.facebook.com/MykkiBlanco/photos/a.410007432350803.99305.409993542352192/1039816686036538/?type=1&theater

" I see currently these same attitudes applied to Transmen who because their narrative is not one that can easily be marketed to cis straight society are silenced or ignored. We are publicly "learning" the male to female trans narrative in it's varied forms while the female to male trans narrative remains niche, fringe to queer visibility and cis straight identity. This is a form of cultural misogyny in my opinion however unpurposed it may be”

http://www.forharriet.com/2016/02/building-consent-culture-means-holding.html#axzz494xvCpkn

http://www.ripemusic.com.au/an-interview-with-habits/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxaoAy9oNtY tracey emin the south bank show

http://m.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11644786

intersectional feminism talk alterity collective etc - melbourne https://www.dropbox.com/s/zllwfrk3gzugec3/Intersectional%20Feminism%20Panel.mp3?dl=0

http://thespinoff.co.nz/media/28-05-2016/disjointed-art-and-unbridled-commerce-an-insiders-take-on-the-auckland-art-fair/

https://vimeo.com/83529142

http://www.engadget.com/2016/06/02/sims-4-gender-neutral-update/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

https://archive.org/details/1stAnnualNycAnarchistBookFair2007Anti-authoritarianApproachesTo

http://www.liesjournal.net/volume1-10-againstinnocence.html

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/03/24/experimental-people

The gleeful vandalism in his high-school footage carries over into his early videos, where young people trash rooms, break windows and walls and lamps and furniture, and set things on fire. When I asked him about this, he grinned and ducked his head. “Destruction is a creative act at that age,” he said. “It’s something I’ve done my whole life,” he later added. “I don’t know where it comes from, but I usually break more things when I’m happy.”

http://www.thewhitereview.org/art/ryan-trecartin-the-real-internet-is-inside-you/

You Are Here: Art After the Internet - Omar Kholief

https://vimeo.com/9351602 

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A portrait of the artist as a young man

"There's something almost supernatural about taking testosterone ... you wake up to strange and unfamiliar things."

I met this guy sylvan and then i read his story. the introspection on gender and growing up, as well as the way hormones make you feel and his story of his quest of three days walking home for christmas made me think of myself my future my story and my art work. 

"I don’t think I was ever really a woman but I certainly never felt like a man. I don’t even know what I mean by feeling like a man, it’s just a word and a set of connotations that has little to do with the many men that I know and love, but more to do with newspapers and suits, legs planted far apart, barbeque tongs, a hand clap on the back and a braying laugh. It’s a word, that’s all. And I am still waiting for someone to adequately explain to me what it means to be a man, or a woman – and I’ve asked lots of people. Nobody has any authority on anything, beyond what it means to be themselves.”

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OLD  MATE BED

let’s address the elephant, i mean, the bed in the room.

I know I know I know I know that I can’t have a messy bed in my installation without talking about Tracey Emin, so lets go there for a second.

very very sincere, irony free zone. no mystery.

you can touch it, its an alchemy, a transition of substances. you can still smell it.

mental health - depression. not eating just drinking. nihilism. repulsion. ugly.

death bed.

Celebrity artist - publicity ‘bad girl’ of the art world

the sun article, teenage girls “i could be an artist”

———  TUMBLR  ——— dirty rooms of tumblr

My bed is not a stagnant frozen moment of time but an object that goes in out of action / use. sometimes i nap on there. read, read my phone etc. i project onto it, moments of past and present. its a small bed, not a double bed. its for kids. I’ve never had sex in it. i’ve probably never even been properly depressed in it. i’m holding onto my youth here.. or trying to? my pre-pubescent bed. 

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The things i bring in

- wrecked things. a towel i let on fire by mistake when i was drunk at work after the NPIP fuck pride rally. A car bumper from a wreck i found on the road. empty bottles. 

- childish things - my childhood bed. it was also my mums childhood bed. lord of the rings action figures. the OC board game i picked up in Ohakune. 

- messy bedroom

- fiona said she wanted to wash her hand after being in it. 

- depression. Tracey Emin. Tumblr culture. 

- pubescent boys. (me.) going through puberty on HRT. 

- the writing on the wall. ranting. manifesto. but private in the bedroom / studio.  unresolved. childish. crayons. powerless. 

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videos cut together from different times of day including documentation of manifesto, and other previous works projected onto the messy bedroom / studio. audio of skype with rowan discussing ego and masculitity. 

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Twitter Performance

I don’t have any documentation

-vulnerability

- public/private social media. 

-identity 

https://twitter.com/ewwyuckk 

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I decided to re-stage the manifesto using my studio as the setting this time, i brought some aspects of the bedroom into is as well - eg: my childhood bed. I went in late at night while it was dark and no one was around and lit the studio just with my bed lamp. I filmed myself reading off the transcript of the original manifesto in the dramatic staged lighting.

- My performance for talk week in year 2 - walking into a spotilight after showing a video. - using lighting for dramatic affect / casting light on reality.