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[creatingnikki]

Hi! Nikki, I don't know u personally but I need help / advice from you since you wrote several times about that age gap thing. So, I have a good friend. He is older than me. Quite more than 5 years. I think we both like each other but he never expresses openly yet talks in a way lovers talk. Also, he is seeing someone else. Being his friend, should I let him get closer to me ? Since he is in a relationship with another girl, I don't know what to do.

Hi there,

I'm glad you reached out to me! Always feel free to do so when you are confused and think I can help 😊

Okay first off, how old are you? Because if you're 17 and he's 22 vs if you're 23 and he's 27 that's very different. Not that if you're an adult the age gap doesn't matter. It still does.

But considering everything you've said, to me this doesn't even seem about the age gap.

He doesn't seem like a very nice friend or boyfriend. The way you've described him, I've known many of such boys. They are not one bit sincere and they seem to only care about themselves.

If he is in a relationship with someone but still talks to you in a flirty manner or in a way a lover does, that's a major red flag and you should distance yourself from him.

And even if he's not in a relationship with someone but keeps flirting with you or trying to get intimate without saying he likes/loves you romantically and wants to date you then that also is a major red flag.

In both the cases he's just trying to play you which is not what you deserve.

As you said, I talk a lot about the age gap. I've been in multiple situations where charming boys older to me kept using the term 'friendship' to mess with me. I took friendship seriously and cared about my friends but they just used that term so that they could either get sexual with me or string me along.

When you're younger, it's not easy for you to realise when someone is emotionally manipulating you to get what they want. And while "not all boys" may do that, trust me love, "most" guys will. Especially when they are teenagers or in their 20s.

So what I'm trying to say is that you should distance yourself from this person who doesn't seem to have the best interests for you at heart. Even if it seems like.

Boys who keep you lingering without ever directly expressing their love or committing to something meaningful like a relationship should just shut up and be a friend and not cross the line or walk away.

But since they are selfish they will not do either of that. I know you said he is a good friend and so it may be hard for you to view him in a negative light but from my and many of my close friends'experiences, love, I'm telling you this boy is bad news. His behaviour doesn't seem consistent with his words/intentions.

And whether it's a boy or girl, younger or older, friend or lover, if someone is not consistent in their behaviour or is not sincere, then they are not good for you or worth your time.

Please consider what I've said and take care of yourself 💕

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still giggles when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people. The support and love you've offered others has made someone's day. Your input and opinions have made someone think twice. You're not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence makes a positive difference, whether you see it or not.

[bakwaaas]

unpopular opinion: mental illness can make people behave in extremely toxic and sometimes even abusive or manipulative ways. relationships and friendships with mentally ill people can be extremely difficult, unpleasant, or even harmful. though this may not be intentional and i have sympathy for those who struggle with this, other people are allowed to remove themselves from your life for their own happiness and sanity. they are not bad people for this. the idea that someone *has* to stay with you while you heal or help fix you is wrong, people are allowed to prioritise themselves. it’s on you to seek therapy and heal. being mentally ill doesn’t give you a pass to behave in toxic ways and hurt others.

[critter-casey]

“Self-affirmation” (digital drawing) — CW

[rabbruad1]

You’re a Beautiful Universe - Bruce Adler

[sweetschizo-deactivated20190808]

Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.

[sweetschizo-deactivated20190808]

Please consider reblogging this/other positivity posts for schizophrenic/psychotic people every once in a while. If you have more than 100 followers, odds are that a couple of them experiences psychosis and that they rarely see positivity posts for people with their symptoms.

[thepersonalquotes]

[gumuhit]

be healthily sensitive. tell them you're hurt when you're hurt. describe what hurt you. no silent treatment and passive aggressiveness. be honest. don't compromise your emotion. don't bottle it up. weigh the issue. understand and maybe, forgive.

[thollandss-deactivated20231215]

reblog to send your mutuals a hug. maybe just the thought is enough to cheer them up 🥺

[headspace-hotel]

*BIIIIIIIG hug*

[reaper-writes]

Have a hug💞

[strange-and-wonderful-world-dea]

[quotemadness]

“Always defend your right to heal at your own pace.You are taking your time. You are allowed to take your time.”

— Unknown

[thelatestkate]

July 2020 Illustrations ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

[thehopefulquotes]

If you want to choose the pleasure of growth, prepare yourself for some pain.

— Irvin D. Yalom

[veinsglisten]

I used to tether my inner child to the same spot and scenario and yell at her ignorance and vulnerability. She pummelled herself with should haves and asked and asked questions but all she could hear was the echo of her own voice within the same walls. Now I just want to pat her head gently and hold her so tight like a caring sister she has always wanted and say “It’s okay to not know better, it’s okay to not have answers. Now shall we get out of here? I will take on the world with you.”

[smiles-advice]

A few self care things to remember -

🌼 your instincts are usually right. if it feels wrong, don’t do it.

🌼 dong be afraid to say no and set boundaries

🌼 if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

🌼 everyone is entitled to an opinion but if yours invalidates someone’s existence, don’t say it aloud

🌼 comparisons help no one

🌼 it’s okay to be sad. you don’t have to be glad that it’s not worse

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque