Just How Important Ichigo and Rukia are to Each Other
Wanna know what guts me what’s funny?
Rukia to Ichigo, in his memory bank (in the recollection of his second most awful experience), is stained with pouring rain. She’s drenched and the blood he had coating him on the streets wasn’t thick enough to keep the rain away, he’s drowning.
I mean, let’s state the obvious. It was raining when Rukia went to kill herself for his sake…how much more blatantly or seriously can somebody get that point across?
Rukia gave herself up. She sacrificed and offed her own life.
And never ignore that in the entirety of Rukia’s miserable life, she only managed to find a few years of decency in trying to survive and help survive with close friends she had to watch degenerate up until their deaths and a “best friend” that abandoned and never understood anything about her.
From rags to decency to depression and then to happiness with Ichigo. That’s how Rukia’s life has gone. And that happiness is what she gave up easily. Because Oh my God, it’s Ichigo.
She was so grateful to die so she could protect him. Hell for Rukia isn’t her own death or torment… it’s the loss of Ichigo’s life, happiness, and well-being.
Then, genius-among-the-plebeians, big-boss man Urahara Kisuke of the little known Shinigami gas station, Urahara Shōten asks (while knowing everything about the situation and what Ichigo was going through because… hell didn’t Yoruichi do some kind of the same for him?) the spiritually bankrupt Ichigo “what’s wrong? Your tone is unexpected. You make it seem as though I’ve done something wrong by saving you.“
Which, honey-bunches, we know for fact is something Ichigo considers wrong. Mortal-sin, you’ll go to hell for your havens type of wrong.
“Prove it to me and make sure your shipping googles aren’t cutting off the blood trying to circulate to your brain”, critics will say.
And to which I reply, hark!
Ichigo, who arguably gives the most respect (a concept he is fundamentally deficient in) to Urahara and Yoruichi, screamed, slammed, and looked prepared to hurt Yoruichi-san. And only because “don’t ever save me when Rukia is there, when she’s with me! You get her first! And fuck, only if you can keep her safe do you worry about me! Rukia, not me! Never me!”
Something along those lines, just with an expression so painful it curls your toes and makes you chew your nails off.
Ichigo’s attention and concern has belonged to Rukia since the evening she broke into his room and berry-boy thought she was a “samurai-costumed,overly-confident burglar.” The night she gave him a changed world.
Ponder that and then continue. Ichigo’s heart is soaked and his rain is non-relenting.
Uryu tells Urahara to let Ichigo know “the only one that can save Rukia…is you.” Get it together quickly.
Ichigo feels so frustrated, the breed of annoying that acts like a virus and infects your brain, rots and feeds on every sense that balances you. Makes you feel creepy and uncomfortable in your own, now ugly to you body, a sanctuary you can’t get away from.
Frustration, sadness, rage all mix together and simmer into hopelessness.
Rukia is being rained upon. “I can’t get to her, Urahara. How can I follow her there. Anywhere else is easy, sure, but how can I get there? How can I save her? How can I protect her? How can I get her back? I want her back!”
Ichigo is hopeless, he is sad, he’s fucking miserable and perpetually uncomfortable in what’s going on because this isn’t fucking something you ever get the pleasure of moving on from.
You don’t get to be happy when your soul-mate dies and decomposes because they love and care about you to a caliber that they said “Fuck you, bye!” to their own life.
You don’t get to find happiness because the feeling of that mates heart, the connection you never are allowed to continue, the altruistic care, the “you mean so much to me I’m going to give up my existence and be fucking ecstatic about it because oh my God, you! I don’t need to explain, I don’t fucking understand and maybe I don’t want to, but God you,you,you-you need to stay alive, you are forbidden from losing your future shot at happiness. You will stay and you will try and you will move because shit! I’m going to kill myself to give that to you”… all that never goes away, even on a deathbed.
I mean what the hell! The boy can’t even grieve because “dammit she’s alive! she’s breathing! She’s suffering! She’s sad! She has time, but for what? I can’t do anything!”
Ichigo’s rain, as we can come to a unanimous community consensus on, is what represents everything that anchors and locks Ichigo down, hurts him, hinders him and his development, makes moving forward too hard sometimes.
Rain is symbolic of his depression.
And it’s raining on Rukia.
Yes because weather (dur-hur), yes because this is upper-echelon in Ichigo’s most gut-wrenching, ‘at that point I didn’t think I could move anymore’ moments, and yes because this was Kubo was leading us into a deeper understanding of this through worlds and lifetimes bond.
Please listen to this, this, and this, think of Ichigo and Rukia and then cry. Please.
Ichigo has tried to convince himself that the knowledge of Uryu being okay is all he has to worry about, but when he can no longer pretend that Uryu is the reason he’s scared enough to scream…he screams about Rukia.
Trying to ignore Rukia, while noble in that he almost pretended he could respect her wishes and naive in the thought that maybe asking about Uryu was enough to get sandal-hat off his back…just doesn’t work, to any kind of degree.
Trying to push the memory of Rukia being taken away from him makes it so impossible to avoid the sadness and his real issue with the ugly night before. Kubo seriously lacks finesse and subtlety with these two. The size of her image only gets bigger and bigger the less Ichigo is able to repress it…interesting no?
Ichigo deflates slightly when Urahara intervenes and decides to let him know that, “Hey kid. Hate to break it to you a little late, but there is a way to force a breaking-and-entering into that place.”
Now Ichigo’s found his way to Rukia. But what’s his concern?
Urahara’s “Ten Days of Training” one condition.
*cue Ichigo’s always creative combinations of colorful profanity, flying up out of his recovery bed, “Shit! Do you think I have time to train? Rukia will be executed! I need to go now!*
Now Urahara isn’t the most, how could one say–emotionally sensitive, running with heart and emotions kind of dude. But, and this is just a quick thing I like to think of often, Urahara was pretty okay with Ichigo’s display of emotion.
Face-value and ‘understanding’ of Urahara “most people have to try hella hard to achieve this level of shady” Kisuke leads us to believe he wanted Rukia to be safe for the lone fact the Hogyoku was shoved into her (by him, without consent).
Yet still, it’s pretty weird to think of how many times he reassured Ichigo that “yes, your Kuchiki-san will be okay. You’ll have plenty of time to save her, 13 days in fact. Just focus on that will and if your will is true, it’s stronger than steel, so train with a whole-heart (literally a thing sandal-hat says). Keep Kuchiki-san in mind and heart and you’ll get stronger and maybe you’ll even get strong enough.”
Don’t forget, Yoruichi saved Kisuke. Got him out of a world that wanted him executed (or turned human and exiled,but for him…which is better?) and took him to a new world so he (they) could continue living, even for just a bit longer. Sounds pretty familiar.
In my heart, I like to think Urahara saw a bit of Yoruichi in Rukia and a bit of himself in Ichigo. Maybe he can’t just sit and watch Rukia going down the same way he could’ve if it hadn’t been for Yoruichi. Two pairs of soulmates with a weird kind of unfortunate connection.
This wouldn’t be the primary reason for a guy like Urahara I think, but maybe it was where his reassurances came from.
In this circumstance, Ichigo and Rukia were both trying to save each other as the other was attempting the same. Maybe they’re both a little Yoruichi.
Yoruichi took Urahara out of Soul Society and gave everything up. Rukia gave up everything by going into Soul Society and keeping Ichigo out.
But with this news, Ichigo begins stressing about time management after Urahara gives him hope (that Ichigo accepts and tries to act upon immediately). Hence the cursing and lack of reasoning.
And ever so patient Urahara comes in with, “Yes dumb ass there is a way to enter the world your Kuchiki-san gave up her life to keep you out of and away from. I can get you in the same way Yoruichi got me out. One condition though, you train with me. Don’t use your need for her life as an excuse to kill yourself.”
Ichigo is a little shy of the maturity and delicacy he shows his father during later-on direct combat with Aizen at this point.
So he just waits for Urahara with diluted anger and a renewed sadness because Urahara talking about Shinigami power rankings and the fact that Ichigo doesn’t measure up stresses Ichigo out.
Rukia is really in trouble, huh?
“Calm down, you exasperating brat. I’ll fulfill your wishes.” But we’ll also have ignore Kuchiki-san’s mentality for this, aka “damn you, Ichigo you’ll die! Let me do that for you! You will not die. You cannot die. What’s the worth of my world or yours if you’re not in them?”
Even if Rukia doesn’t want it, Ichigo’s hope builds. He found his way. He found the path he could use to follow her. Ichigo found his way back to Rukia.
The last step is, “Can I become strong enough?”
Hell yeah, berry-brat, if you can fight for her with your entire heart.
And what happens because of it?
And Ichigo can move again.
Kind of gives new meaning to the whole:
“I wonder if I can keep up with it? The speed of the world with no you.” and “The rain drags Black Sun down, but the rain is dried by White Moon.”
It’s a lot harder to pretend Rukia doesn’t matter.
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