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Regarding the Ill Health of Senator Mitch McConnell

There once was a turtle named Mitch, Who’d kick puppies if they weren’t rich; But his turtle-y shell Won’t do much, when in Hell And the demons take him for a bitch.

#poetry #original poetry #mitch mcconnell

Abraham Lincoln

Abe Lincoln was a wordsmith great, Of much and due renown; His poetry was real and raw, His speech the talk of town.

Abe Lincoln had a real weird life - He dueled with Shields with swords? - He threw Jack Armstrong by the throat, Sailed the Mississipp’ on boards.

Abe Lincoln was a genius, true, Shakespeare and Euclid read; He led a team of rivals, and Turned enemies to friends.

Abe Lincoln won the Civil War, And trod a lonesome path; With Morrill founded many schools - One’s where I studied Math.

Abe Lincoln loved his only wife, His kids had his whole heart; His end, a martyr for the cause For which he’d played his part.

Abe Lincoln was cut down too soon, No greater crimes, there are; For Booth, the coward, shot him and Stole from us his memoirs. ***

Abe Lincoln, in another world, Lived long, and took due rest; Of all and sundry English works, His memoirs were the best.

Abraham Lincoln, his hand and pen, He would be great, and God knew when.

#poetry #original poetry #abraham lincoln

Like the Sixth Goddamn Time This Has Happened

She tells me I'm handsome, she tells me I'm nice She tells me I'm sweet with a good pinch of spice;

She tells me it's fortune, she tells me it's fate, She tells me politely… There's no second date.

#poetry #original poetry

On People Who Post Photos Of Their Books On The Internet And Tumblr Specifically

We do espy the fancy spines And thrift stores whence you’ve freed them; But for a shred of bookworm cred, You have to fucking read them.

#poetry #original poetry

The Pillar (v2)

They built a pillar of granite and stone And etched it prophetic in sight; Stronger than Atlas’s shoulders alone, Eclipsing Mount Othrys in height.

‘Tis said the Gigantes by Gaia were born Of Ouranos, her husband, castrated By hubris of Kronos, of harvest and corn, Whose hunger his own children sated.

The pillar could take nigh-unlimited strain If it had but foundation to stand; Alas, for the tears and the hurt and the pain, Its makers had placed it on sand.

The Sky ever-bends and he makes his amends To the Earth, his beloved, his wife; And the pillar descends for it’s tasked to suspend From the ground every manner of strife.

A desert’s grown green in the time in-between, With a grove of the lushest of trees; There’s a tired young wean, and he sits so serene, On a plinth that comes up to his knees.

#poetry #original poetry #rewrite

On God

I don’t know if there is a God Who made the Earth and air And everything that’s fair and flawed; I’m not too sure I care?

#poetry #original poetry

On My Brain

My brain's a couple pounds of fat, And neural cells and static that Both comes to know And can compose Bad poetry for twats.

#poetry #original poetry

Ode to Thee

Les Français ont le mot dit “tu”, Und auch die Deutschen haben "du"; Forsaken, though, has English now Its second-person single "thou".

The South has “y’all”, Pittsburghers “yinz”; Both double-plurals, needed since Our plural “you” pulls double duty As singular, with lesser beauty.

To mean the general case: “you do”; “You too” the one that’s spoken to; If we’d kept “thou” and “thy”, it’d mean All “you”s are crowds; one man is “thee”.

To you, o readers, now I speak - And thee, thine eyes, who at this peek - Let’s bring back “thee” from off the shelf; And if thou can’t? Then fuck thyself.

#poetry #original poetry

God I Hate This

I've got a crush like a raw and red wound, I can't help but to think oft her name; I pick at it anxious, I'm mad as a loon; Do they make human-sized cones of shame?

#poetry #original poetry

A Small Dog

A small dog rests His little head And his cute, adorable face,

Upon my friend, Who, thus, must trend To a much, much slower pace.

#poetry #original poetry

Sancta Sanguinis

I must away to my own grave tonight, For Sleep of Ages, sighing, calls to me; To take to torpor, ere the Rising Light, To wake once more, when Silvered Moon flies free.

#poetry #original poetry #Fo chòmhdach na h-oidhche

Impossible

The Dwarves, they made a mighty silk, Of threads one cannot find; To trap the greatest of the wolves, That Hrothwitnir, they’d bind.

The footfalls of a cat, the sound; The sinews of a bear; The roots beneath a mountain; and A woman’s facial hair;

The spittle of the birds, is in; And breath that’s of a fish; The Dwarves worked the impossible To sate the Aesir’s wish.

And so with lies, and broken oaths, Was Fenrir ever bound; For nothing less could ever hold The greatest ever hound.

And when the world shall come to end, Beyond the edge of time; The Wolf will break what can’t be broke, And slay what cannot die.

#poetry #original poetry

My Best Friend

I’ve known my best friend A full third of my life, O how greatly she’s changed and she’s grown! Less a point on a graph, More a flowerin’ path; She’s a half-dozen people I’ve known.

#poetry #original poetry

When the Aliens Come

When the aliens come, I hope they mistake us For mole people, And judge us By our sewers and subways.

#poetry #original poetry

Alas

Alas, alas, my friend’s friend’s friend Has met, too young, too soon, her end; Alas, that friend, with whom I share A friend, now tears her silken hair.

Alas, alas, that friend of mine, Is worried sick, o’er retched wine; Alas, alas, my friend’s friend’s friend Has met, too young, too soon, her end.

#poetry #original poetry

Nobody

I should hope but to be But a pale Nobody Of the wisp-misty fogs and the embers; To come after the last, And be tied to the mast, And all the forgotten, remember.

#poetry #original poetry

On Dad Jokes

Consider the jokes You can tell a young kid And the genesis of ‘dad jokes’ Becomes a parent.

#poetry #original poetry

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