Discovering Self

[ashar07]

I screwed it all

I screwed up my life. I have no motivation to live. I keep crying. only crying gives me momentary peace. I am madly in love with a guy. I have fallen in love before. and everyone leaves. But this time it is different and I am already so shattered that I wont be able to get up again. I have been running after this boy from past 2.5 years, praying everyday and every moment to god to get me married to him. I have lost faith in god too. He does not give me proper answer. This wait is killing me. this thought that he is going to leave me is killing me every second. I know nothing is end of the world and blah, bah, .. i have read many self help books to help me what i want, tried mediation, tried prayers, to find me peace, nothing is working. I don't want to leave him. What if he genuinely wants to be with me and it might happen in future. Though i don't see any hope right now. My life will be all blank once he leaves, now or later. I can't describe the state I am in, but it is miserable... I have screwed up my life. I should have let him go when he first told that its gonna be difficult. Now it is too late. i cry before sleep, i cry when i wake up, i keep staring walls, i cry in between, i am screwing my job, i m screwing my parents happiness, i am screwing his happiness, i was once beautiful. i look ugly now. when he comes back to India and sees me, he will surely leave me then. I cant control my thoughts. I have screwed up all...

[ashar07]

A wish

Every crescent moon night my mom said make a wish and it will be answerd. When ever I see that slimer moon I close my eyes and wish only to be with you. I wish you to come to me fearless and never leave.

[ashar07]

#Loveagain

[ashar07]

Open letter to the society

Dear society,

i am 29 still single and not married. Marriage is not a process for me. Yes I had been in love and wanted it to last forever but society never let it be. And now that same society will not dictate my life. I am open to marriage. If some day again I fall in love again I would love to spend the rest of my life with that special someone. And If it’s too late I wouldn’t mind to live single forever. I’m capable enough to fulfil my dreams and protect myself. I don’t need a man or his money bank to take me to places. How will I spend my old age alone? with my loved ones and if I’m left alone by that time I would love to spend my old age with my self. Ain’t scared of that. Yes I too dream of getting older with the love of my life when ever I see those cute couples holding hands and crossing the roads or fighting over silly things. it’s fine. I don’t believe in marriage institution. I believe in love first and then marriage and then adjusting my life for that love. I don’t believe in marrying first and then adjustments for some random guy, having his kids, looking after his family and then may be falling in love with him later or never. This is how I am. I’m ready to pay the loss of not getting married at the right time or never getting married. Don’t pity me when you see me alone when you see an old cute lady standing alone. Cos I won’t as I lived my life on my own terms.

Best wishes!

[ashar07]

Like a baby again

May be one day I will laugh like a kid again, will be able to sleep like a baby amidst the all the noise.. Right now I’m just sailing and trying not to get drowned in this storm.. I know it will not last long. these storms will keep coming but then I will stand like mountain against them unperturbed.. Then I will laugh like a kid with my heart out.. Then I will be really grown but still a small little innocent child from heart who’s not scared of anything..

[ashar07]

Like a baby again

May be one day I will laugh like a kid again, will be able to sleep like a baby amidst all the noise.. Right now I’m just sailing and trying not to get drowned in this storm.. I know it will not last long. these storms will keep coming but then one day I will learn to stand like mountain against them, unperturbed.. Then I will laugh like a kid with my heart out.. Then I will be really grown but still a small little innocent child from heart who was never scared of anything..

[ashar07]

Open letter to the society

Dear society, i am 29 still single and not married. Marriage is not a process for me. Yes I had been in love and wanted it to last forever but society never let it be. And now that same society will not dictate my life. I am open to marriage. If some day again I fall in love again I would love to spend the rest of my life with that special someone. And If it's too late I wouldn't mind to live single forever. I'm capable enough to fulfil my dreams and protect myself. I don't need a man or his money bank to take me to places. How will I spend my old age alone? with my loved ones and if I'm left alone by that time I would love to spend my old age with my self. Ain't scared of that. Yes I too dream of getting older with the love of my life when ever I see those cute couples holding hands and crossing the roads or fighting over silly things. it's fine. I don't believe in marriage institution. I believe in love first and then marriage and then adjusting my life for that love. I don't believe in marrying first and then adjustments for some random guy, having his kids, looking after his family and then may be falling in love with him later or never. This is how I am. I'm ready to pay the loss of not getting married at the right time or never getting married. Don't pity me when you see me alone when you see an old cute lady standing alone. Cos I won't as I lived my life on my own terms. Best wishes!

[ashar07]

A wish

Every crescent moon night my mom said make a wish and it will be answerd. When ever I see that slimer moon I close my eyes and wish only to be with you. I wish you to come to me fearless and never leave.

[ashar07]

#Loveagain

[ashar07]

#gogoagone #goadiaries - travel is the best thing that has happened to me. This was my first solo trip to Goa and also last minute planned. I had been saving for my travels but never got the chance to make it happen cos of family and work schedule. The sand, the beach, sun set and the waters, what else is needed in life. Travelling solo makes u feel so good about yourself. There are 7 billion people to meet and more than 200 beautiful countries to travel.. More to come on my way... #goa #travelphoto #solotravel #iphone6 #iphone6photos #thebeach (at Goa, India)

[ashar07]

A wish

Every crescent moon night my mom said make a wish and it will be answerd. When ever I see that slimer moon I close my eyes and wish only to be with you. I wish you to come to me fearless and never leave.

[ashar07]

To buy prints of my works visit www.fineartamerica.com/profile/atithi-sharma. Have a wonderful day ahead

[ashar07]

Waiting

Hold on.. stop. Its not the wait for the love of my life. Today I am really not waiting for love. But a call for an interview. A call for confirmation after the interview. I keep looking at my phone. Thinking what might have gone wrong. What does others have it in them that i dont. Waiting. Days are passing by. I am growing older and older. I hate this waiting business. Huhh… I bow down to you my lord. Please get me a job.