As Heard At Starbucks @asheardatstarbucks - Tumblr Blog

#16 Scientific Breakthroughs

Guy: My mom is retired and she lives an awesome life. She just plays poker online all day. I wish I could be my mom. One day I will be.

#overheard #starbucks #eavesdropping #poker online

#15 Not Fantastic Enough Mr. Fox

Girl: I narrowed my choices for a new cell phone cover down to 5.

Guy: DOWN to 5?

Girl: Yeah, I had 11 at first. One is yellow with blueberries. I love blueberries. But this other one is a winter scene with a fox.

Guy: What kind of fox?

Girl: A cute one, obviously. But I just don't know if my interest in the winter fox will go away when summer comes, you know?

Guy: No, totally.

#foxes #overheard at starbucks #starbucks #overheard #holy crap #what kind of fox

#14 World's Greatest

4-year-old girl: Mom, hand dryers are my favorite!

Mom: Your favorite? Your favorite what?

Girl: My favorite thing in the ENTIRE WORLD!

Mom: Oh. Thank god. I'm so done with Frozen.

#frozen #the little things #bye elsa #little kids #overheard at starbucks #starbucks #overheard

#13 Marky Mark's New Gig

Girl: Do my thighs look big?

Guy: Dude…

Girl: When I walk they rub together.

Guy: They should. It's science.

Girl: *sigh* They’re a chunky bunch.

#starbucks #overheard #overheard at starbucks #thigh gap #marky mark #marky mark and the funky bunch

#12: Meet My Friends

Girl 1: I can’t wait for you to meet Jenna. She’s a doll. She’s just so amazing. She’s like one of those people where you’re like, “why can’t there be 100 more of you in the world; you are a delight.”

Girl 2: And is Steph coming?

Girl 1: Yes, oh my god she is so great. She’s just like, an angel. She is super sweet and thoughtful and I just love her. And she’s dating Pat and they are perfection. They are so funny and cute together. Ah! I can’t wait for you to meet them!

Girl 2: And what about Andi?

Girl 1: Andi is a fucking bitch. Don’t sit next to Andi. She is a sloth and she makes weird noises.

#overheard #starbucks #sloth #betches

#11: Drink It Up

Customer: Oprah?! You have Oprah tea now?

Barista: Oh yeah. There's more Oprah flavors coming, too. We are allllll about the O.

#starbucks #overheard #oprah #chai tea

#10: Learning Early

Dad: Hold on, let me grab my coffee then we can go.

5 year-old son: I hope it doesn't spill. And I hope they got the order right this time. God, last time was a disaster.

#starbucks #overheard #father son bonding

#9: World's Best Mom

Woman (interviewing girl for nannying job): My daughter, she's 8. She tells me stories about boys in her class and I take an Ambien just to process.

#ambien #starbucks #overheard #boys #dramz

#8: If By "American" You Mean "Hipster"

Girl 1: I mean, it's Detroit. I'm gonna buy a house and a gun for the next 10 weeks.

Girl 2: You're making me nervous.

Girl 1: In all likelihood I'm gonna end up living in a penthouse post-grad. It's very strange. It's not even what I want -- I want some sketch loft in a warehouse or something. That's the American dream.

#american dream #detroit #overheard #starbucks #good life decisions

#7: Generation M...TV.

Guy: How have you been?

Girl: Good! I went to Annie’s baby shower yesterday.

Guy: Why are all our friends having babies? When did we get old? Like, aren’t we still teen mom status?

#teenmom #babyshower #starbucks #overheard #teen mom #baby shower

#6: Oatmeal of Broken Dreams

Girl 1: (deep sigh) For the second time, they are out of oatmeal.

Girl 2: I am really sorry you have to deal with that.

Girl 1: Yeah, it's just not something I can deal with right now. Like, I have real problems to deal with as it is.

Girl 2: Really, you don't deserve it.

#starbucks #overheard #firstworldproblems