King Of The World... Except Not.

Asher King, at your service. I see you've stumbled upon my humble chunk of the internet. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm 22, currently reside at Sky High (yes, that giant slab of concrete that floats through the air), I'm majoring in Writing and Literature, and I minor in the powers program. I'm married to the most perfect being in the universe and I couldn't be happier about it. Now that I've given you the basic primal information every human desires, I encourage you to leave a message or say hi. I promise not to scare you out of your wits. I'm honestly not that intimidating of a person. Oh and ps my husband is literally the embodiment of fear so I don't know I wouldn't piss me off or something.

[ashersimonking]

[ashersimonking]

If I could make anything happen? Anything at all?

I'd make my dearest husband wear white every day of the year. Oh man, that'd be wonderful.

[ashersimonking]

New Years kisses still count if you ended up fucking after, right?

[terror-in-the-night]

I say it counts.

Perfect way to greet the new year, in my opinion.

[ashersimonking]

You're an addict.

[ashersimonking]

New Years kisses still count if you ended up fucking after, right?

[ashersimonking]

[left at Ali's front door in the morning]

I didn't know what to get you. I have one of these shirts, though, and they are the fucking bomb, so therefore I had to get you one. Thank you for your help with the wedding, for real. Have an awesome Christmas, ya hear?

Love,

Asher

[ashersimonking]

[left at Tyler's front door]

Sorry.

-A.

[ashersimonking]

[delivered to Ethan's front door]

Let loose a little, kid. It's Christmas. 

Asher.

[ashersimonking]

[delivered to Takeshi's front door. inside of the card there is a check for five thousand dollars.]

Buddy,

You're truly an amazing person, I hope you know that. I told you I was going to get you a fruit basket. Hopefully this one is up to your artistic pleasure (Terror told me not to tell you, but he was the one that picked it out). The bracelet I found online and it just made me think of you. It has Tigereye Moonstone and shit in it, so I hope you like it. 

Now, before you freak out about the money: don't. It's nothing compared to what Terror has, and we just wanted to thank you for everything you did for us and for the wedding. It really wouldn't have gone on without you and everything you did for us. Like I said, you should go into that. But anyway, I wanted to give you more but I knew you'd freak out. So like I said, don't. Just accept it and go cash it or put it in a bank or save it or buy a plane ticket or do whatever you want with it, okay? It's yours, accept it.

Love and thanks,

Asher. 

[ashersimonking]

[left at Elias' front door, because Asher sort of just knew that he'd be there. Inside the box are two more smaller boxes with two sets of cufflinks]

Optimus Prime,

I know you don't dress up that much, but I fucking suck at this whole thing, alright? But like.... I couldn't pick out of the two, so whatever I got both. I figured this was better than a thing of whisky.

luv u,

Witwicky.

[ashersimonking]

[delivered to oliver and fortune's front door. the movie is set on top of ten different boxes that are filled to the top with all sorts of different colors, patterns and types of yarn]

Ollie,

I'm considering this Fortune's present too because I know you'll make him something. So like... just consider it present by proxy. Thank you so much for everything you did for the wedding. I couldn't have done it without you, seriously. I love you a lot, and I hope you have a good Christmas. MAKE SURE YOU SCORE TONIGHT. IT'S CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL. 

Love,

Ash.

[ashersimonking]

[delivered to whereverthefuck Reva is staying]

I hate you. You better come back.

Asher.

PS: I have the other half. R2-D2 is too much of my homeboy to give up. 

[ashersimonking]

[the presents, a long grey trench coat, a red cardigan, a new pipe, and a rather... extravagant placed under the King Christmas tree in black and white wrapping with red and white ribbon, the card is placed on top.]

My wonderful husband,

I know the card is a little cheesy, but it was the best one I could find on such short notice because, well, I'm going to be honest I only bought half of these before our wedding. The others I sort of improvised. You needed a new trench coat because yours was getting a little worn, and I was going to get white but I knew you'd never wear it so I compromised and got grey instead. The cardigan is self explanatory because ung... red. I know you needed a new pipe, and I was going to buy you something to smoke but well, you know, I sort of... failed in doing that, so whatever, buy your own. The cock ring is.. well, a fucking cock ring. Whatever. You needed a new one and this one was the best one they had, and I just find it a little fucking hilarious, okay?

I love you. The whole husband thing is still weird but I kind of adore it. 

Asher. 

[ashersimonking]

AIR. I NEED AIR.

[terror-in-the-night]

And you are mine.

[ashersimonking]

That I am.

[ashersimonking]

AIR. I NEED AIR.

[terror-in-the-night]

That’s the most important part, though.

[ashersimonking]

You're ridiculous.

[ashersimonking]

AIR. I NEED AIR.

[terror-in-the-night]

Something excited happened last night. And the night before. And this morning.

[ashersimonking]

I meant aside from, you know, your dick in my ass, baby.

[ashersimonking]

AIR. I NEED AIR.

No I'm kidding. I figured I'd pop up into the land of the living to see how everyone is. 

Anything exciting happening lately, Sky High?

[ashersimonking]

Thank you to everyone for everything.

[himura-takeshi]

(」゜ロ゜)」Oh! You don’t… I mean… But I…

Okay… (;´Д`)

[ashersimonking]

Good.