5th Annual! 2015 Revisited
2015 Resolutions REVISITED
I cannot believe this is the 5th year I’m doing my Resolutions and Resolution Revisit. Last year was all about Adventure and Work. I have to say, I have worked harder and more in this past year than I have in probably my entire life, and while monetarily it did not show, and many nights I felt myself questioning my sanity and seeking validation, I am sincerely glad that 2015 is over. I did not do much adventuring, because I found myself working 6 days a week for my day job, and all time in between on other projects and at a gallery my business partner from previous gallery ventures co-founded together. So maybe, the adventures were found in my work.
Here’s a look back on my 2015!
“I can never get enough of it. Its when I’m happiest, and at my best. I want to work more. This year I’ll focus on getting it full time.”
Oh baby do I regret saying this. I am exhausted! In a better place maybe, but exhausted emotionally, physically, and mentally. I nabbed a full time job, but as all full time jobs do when you are used to freelancing as a creative, they suck you dry in terms of creativity. The job isn’t as fun as the last full time contract I had either, and focuses on a more administrative role rather than artistic one.
“I’m adding this to the resolutions this year once more. I let it go last year because I knew I was living in the belly of the whale. This time, for my own sanity, I’d love to move. Maybe somewhere exciting? Who knows. This time its me and Tom.”
This finally happened! Tom and I moved into our own place. I cannot say the word finally enough. We did not move somewhere entirely exciting, but for where we are, the place is amazing. I’ll try to remember to post some pictures soon.
3. Exhibit somewhere with national recognition
“I’ve been fortunate to live in a small community with a few galleries, who have given me the chance to shine on many occasions. I think I need to work on finessing my work a bit more, but I’d like to get into a bigger gallery, maybe one that specifically shows “soft macabre” (someone who recently bought a piece of mine described it that way lol). This is definitely a big pipe dream, and I include magazines here. Closest thing to a childhood dream I have actually.”
This is an interesting resolution to revisit. I did not show anywhere outside of my community, and frankly, I didn’t try. I could barely keep up with work at my gallery and I went back to school. The closest thing I can say to exhibiting in a nationally recognized gallery, is that I was accept and completed the Philadelphia Mural Arts training program. Our group show is in two weeks, and although its in 2016 I was accepted and began training in 2015, so maybe this counts.
“I was able to be on a pre production team for a really amazing sounding short film, but, as is common in this industry, the project has been shelved for now. It would be cool to get something small finished, to fulfill college Ashley’s hopes and dreams. My skills have gotten sharper, but my creativity has been poured into my illustration. I may have to combine the two sides of myself.”
This didn’t happen either. I was able to do more video work here and there for my gallery, clients, and others, but still not the creative work I’m craving.
5. TRAVEL SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE.
“I think I write this EVERY YEAR. lol. but c'mon, the more I ask the universe, the more likely it is to happen right? Tom’s been working so hard, and I know the retail world can suck the life right out of you. I’d love to be able to inject some life into the two of us by going somewhere fun, even if just overnight. As usual, I want to go to a famous haunted hotel or something. You know, romantic”
I’m not sure my cousin’s wedding counts, but hey why not. I’ll go somewhere someday!
“I don’t think I’ll ever have the bawls to do a pixie cut. I’m Puerto Rican/Italian with ridiculous hair, but I’ll chop it up to my chin like I did in 2012. If you think that’s less work, you’re a sad person. But I’m better with a blow dryer now than I’ve EVER been. My mother in law got me a gift card to a salon for Christmas, I should have fun with my hair this year”
I have to say, the gift card only covered 1/3rd of last year’s new year’s haircut, and I’m still a little bitter about that. I got that curly hair biracial surcharge. I found a new hairdresser last summer, and started experimenting with care rather than cut. I feel better about the health of my hair now.
“conventions seem really cool and important. There’s SIGGRAPH, CTN Expo, KidsScreen, Illuxcon, and other amazing Animation/VFX/Illustration conventions out there. I missed out on a ton this year, so many that it makes me want to cry. I just want to be in a room surrounded by incredible talent and inspiration. It would be fun to table at one or even just go as a spectator…”
No time at all to do anything. 2015 flew by....
8. Take a 3D Animation or programming class
“I’ve always been good at learning on my own, but being a freelancer has made me crave routine. I took a psych class over the Summer, and loved it. I’ve been studying programming for years on my own, webdesign has been part of my freelance repertoire for years- but it would be amazing to be able to develop my own aftereffects scripts or create something interactive. ROUTINE. STRUCTURE. SCHOOL. why do I miss this? because I have no bed times, and I make my own hours. Oy vey…”
I ended up going back to school but for something completely different. I don’t want to post much about it until I’m completely finished which looks like I will be in 2017. It definitely is a great fit for me and applies directly to my current work.
“I’m fortunate enough that Spanish is spoken by my father in my house on the regular, and I can understand it (and speak it somewhat) fluently. I get told that I look Brazilian a bit more than I look Puerto Rican, AND that Portuguese accent is so fun sexy and catlike! I love the way the language sounds.”
Didn’t even have the time to try :(
“I definitely can eat. The only thing I know how to cook is seafood….fish, shellfish etc. Its odd that I can filet a perfect Salmon or clean and de-vein shrimp with ease. I also make a mean scampi. But hand me a potato and I practically kill myself trying to peel it. I cook a lot for my family since they get home late and its just me and my young sister. But honestly how much pasta can I feed a 12 year old? Before she gets diabetes?”
I think I always knew how to cook, but I’ve just been broke for a long time.
“2015 Will be the year of ADVENTURE . I want some freshness and excitement to hit me. I want to experience all of this with the love of my life, who I’ve been with for 4 years, and have been in love with since the age of 10 *true story*. Freelancing seems exciting, because you’re never tied down and you’re constantly on the hustle, but to be honest, it doesn’t leave much room for enjoying life. Unlessssss you’re super great at lining up work so you can have the illusion of steady pay ;)”
2015 ended up being the year of WORK. I worked more and longer hours than any time in my life, and I half regret it. I’m a bit more cynical, and the world has lost a bit of its color. I went through major eye issues, and had to cut back on painting and drawing. I still am dealing with that, and I guess not being able to create what I would like has put a damper on my personality...I’m slowing dreading the rest of my life if all it is is what is happening currently. My little dog passed away, and although living together with Tom is nice, I am still feeling trapped by things like work and my inability to really ink anything without my vision blacking out. I am really hoping that 2016 allows me to fall into my own softly rather than fight for it, like I’ve been doing all 2015.
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