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Are you referencing that one time I did it? That was once, once!! (With my mouth at that). If you're that curious how it went I'll tell you! It felt and tasted awful, the texture was disgusting and I almost regret ever having someone else's windpipe ever touch my tongue.
Imagine eating the ends of fried chicken, you know, the parts that not a lot of people like to chew on, except larger. The whole chicken thigh is just that one part. I’d rather slice at enemies with my sword than use my hands or mouth to rip anything.
Riiight, and my entire being is... Happy? Satisfied? I’m in love with my immortal life? I’m just such a happy go lucky character who’s strong?
Stupid.
I cannot even begin to encapsulate the amount of dread I have going into towns, into the cities where I once visited and lived in a long long time ago. Not that my previous mortal life was anything worth while, but I can’t help but feel the weight of previous loved one’s lives I once was apart of. How many of their memories of me have I torn apart myself either by accident or from defending myself in what I am now.
Are these people dead? No. They’re not. I see them sometimes. I’m forced to interact with them everyday or at the very least every other month when I go to dungeon in their city. I feel the burden, the shame, guilty for living past what happened to most of their family but not to me. I want to just die.
Oh right sorry, you’re not interested in any of that inner thought turmoil. Wrong blog.
“Provokin’?!” Screamed the commerce partner, her glasses nearly falling off of the ridge of her nose. Her face was cherry with fury, to the point where the neko almost scoffed.
“Yes. Provoking. As in being a bitch to me.” Cq elaborated, making small circles in the air with her bound hands raised. “I’m not sure how much english you know buuuuut being a bitch means-”
“Buuut nothing!” She was nearly shrieking by now. Cq squinted and pulled her ears back at her overreaction. “You know how many other of those monsters have been sold to the ogres or possibly worse?!” Betty didn’t bother getting up from the floor, maybe that was just out of her abilities.
Cq’s ears perked. “Others?” She said, lowering her head in disbelief What’s going on? She thought to herself, suddenly hit with the gravity of the situation. That crow lady... “How long have I been out?” Cq said, asserting a serious tone that Betty was caught off guard by.
“O-oh uh, like 2 weeks I guess” Betty put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “It’s been a while though but the day after you were brought to us by some villagers, I started getting news owls every which way about people comin’ from out of nowhere battlin’ the monsters popping out of the altars that were attacking people. No one knows why but no matter how many time they got cut down by the monsters, they’d just get back up in a flash of light! It’s freaky”
She’s building an entire army! Cq panicked, she really was apart of some undead army, and at this rate if she was sold off to the chief of a town, there’d be no going back. She hobbled back a step with her legs tied, she wasn’t quite sure what to do and how to wrap her head around the situation. It felt like just yesterday she was still at home in Tir. Just an average person skipping school, playing in the snow. Just a nobody.
With Cq looking down, Betty had already gotten up and swung her arm in the air, jabbing the neko right in the stomach. “You need to be grateful for this situation, considering what you are!” With a small oof the neko fell to the floor, cringing in pain. The blood wounds from way earlier bleed more intensely than before, making Cq grind her teeth together to hold in a scream. “You’re obviously a defect, those wounds you got when we got you don’t seem to be healin’! But you haven’t bled to death either! You can’t fight very well if you’re wounded!”
A small pitter patter sound awoke Cq, as she opened her eyes to a gush of water being poured from a bucket nearby.
“Betty I thought I told you to keep the lids on the buckets” The male explorer said, hoisting one of the buckets over his shoulder. “We’ll get mosquitoes in the water otherwise.”
“I did! But all that knocking from that girl over there must have caused it to come off!” Betty lied. She shook her head towards the neko on the floor in disgusted fashion, not seeing that Cq was squinting up from the ground- dirt covering her beginner wear. Betty had actually forgotten to put the lid on, or rather didn’t feel like it. “C’mon Marvin, we’re right next to the river on the side of the cliffs of this place, uh. Whatever this place is called” She huffed.
“Karu forest, Betty.” Marvin replied, slightly annoyed but still somewhat chipper sounding himself. Cq gawked at how calm he was despite the obvious lying commerce partner in front of him. “Ok, listen, we need to make it to Filia at least by the end of the week. I’ll go grab some ropes so I can lower this bucket into the river and hoist up some more fresh water along the way. It’s gonna be hot in the desert when we start crossing it.” He continued, already walking away. “Stay!” He said, making sure that Betty wouldn’t follow him. “Watch over her, make sure she doesn’t escape.”
Betty nodded enthusiastically; Cq was sure it was because she wouldn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting to bring the water back.
Not even a minute after he disappeared behind the trees Betty walked over to the neko, looking down on her from her point of view. “Hey~” She said happily.
Cq snarled, making her fangs visible. “What?” She said calmly, but with malice.
She laughed with a wildly toothy grin at Katlee’s reaction.
“Friends will only talk to you until your use has run out, then they’ll leave you like the worthless trash you are, forgotten! I thought you knew that!!"
“H-hey!!” Cq screamed, she was caught off guard from the net dropped on her suddenly. She was too preoccupied with her thoughts of what happened to her dad to get away from the random guy who cast the net.
“We can’t have something as dangerous as you walking around!!” Said one man, he appeared to be the leader of the small group of people. His pitchfork was predominantly larger than anyone else’s, that’s for sure. Obviously must be an egotistical one, thought Cq. She scoffed at the man, her eyes narrowed into cat slits.
“What the fuck are you scoffing at little beast girl?” Said the pitchfork wielder. His hand gripped tightly on the handle, the whites of his knuckles were becoming apparent.
“Oh it’s nothing I was just...” Cq started, mustering up the most snide look she could, “wondering if that pitchfork was to accommodate for your small dick or something. Is that why yours is bigger than the rest?”
The man’s face turned instantly red and he lunged forward, jabbing his farm weapon right at Cq’s feet. His fork landed centimeters away while she didn’t flinch a muscle. She could see the fear in the man’s eyes even as she was slowly becoming more drenched in her own blood. She looked up at the man from the ground, cursing under her breath. Obviously the man caught on to what Cq wanted, which was for him to stab her through the net and cut in the process.
“Tch!” Cq said, quickly lifting her foot to ram it into the fork in the ground, breaking the handle in half. Splinters flew every which way, scattering past the man and into the mob. People from the group stepped back and gasped.
“I just saved your sorry ass village and this is how you repay me?? This is how you’ll always repay me??” She screamed, jerking herself in the net but it just tangled her even more, it’s heavy coarse threads chaffed her hands and face, irritating her even further. “Ugh, fuck you Terry, I always hated your nets!” Terry’s face twisted in disgust at her calling out his name. He stood in the back of the group, barely visible as he slouched and looked down at his feet.
“S-shut up you monster!!” Terry cried, stepping forward with a sack. “Everyone knew you would do something like this, tearing through things like a beast. Even if you stopped the goblins now who’s to say you’re on our side!?” He threw the bag over Cq and pushed her, hard. She fell backwards and hit her head on the rock,her vision going black as she struggled past her blood lose to keep her focus. The last thing she felt were hands grabbing her and pulling her away.
It was a long time before she awoke, her first realization was her sudden restricted limb movement. Slowly squinting her eyes open, her weight shifted from being flat on the ground to sitting in an upwards position. Her hands and legs fumbled about as they were conjoined by yet another chaffing set of ropes.
“UGHHHHHHHHH” She said, looking around to see where she was at. There was an ocean’s breeze with the smell of saltwater in the distance as far as her nose could smell, but she was surrounded by grass on a flat plane as far as the eye could see. “Deceiving” was her first thought. Two explorers jumped up from their wood seats and ran over to her, exclaiming things she couldn’t quite catch over her screaming.
“Wow she’s alive!” One explorer cried, tipping his hat in surprise. He bent over to grab his drink and Cq noticed how gaudy he looked in his neon blue and yellow shirt and pants. His suspenders carried what seemed to be a lot of nifty exploration tools while his sash on his waist held a flashing blue to yellow L-rod. “The way she was given to us by those city people it seemed like she was sure to expire.”
“I hope she gets us a fortune with those fairy people, I heard the leader like to collect oddities” The other said, she wasn’t quite as tacky as the man but surely wasn’t about to win a fashion show with her one piece jumpsuit in pure white.
She probably doesn’t even lift a finger, Cq thought to herself. What a prissy. Her expression shifted from a gruffled angry expression to that of utter annoyance.
“Well time to get rolling!” They both said in synchronization, tossing Cq into a box and closing the lid quickly. Cq was too confused to even react. “Did they just...” She thought “Seriously stuff me in a fucking box...” Her anger quickly rising as she heard them shuffle around her box.
“HEY YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS LET ME OUT!!!” Cq screamed at them, bashing her face against the walls of the box, nearly giving herself splinters with every bang. The ground began vibrating below her feet and bum, softly rocking her up and down.
She felt the vibrations of the ground start going faster and faster, her box bumped up and down making her hit her head on the top. ‘What the fuck??’ Cq said to herself. ‘Oh no it’s a fucking-’
KA-THUNK!
Cq’s box tipped over from the wagon’s traveling and she fell on her side, slowly losing consciousness again. ‘this wound...’ Cq thought to herself ‘Maybe stabbing myself with a spirit weapon wasn’t such a good ide-’ her thoughts slowly drifted into nothing as she passed out again.
Tossing the sword down she wondered why she was even there in the first place. Her focus completely gone, she sat still on the ground to try and collect her composure.
‘My head is so foggy still-’ She thought to herself, she wasn't sure what was real anymore.
As the fires died down in the village a crowd crossed the bridge to the fields. She could hear them yelling out for survivors through the dark, and they slowly approached where she sat.
"Look! It's Cq!" One of them said, pointing for the other people of the group to see.
"Don't go near her!" Another one cried. "Look at her covered in blood! I bet she helped those goblins escape the alter!"
“I didn’t-” She started, the crowd just started talking among each other. Cq grew more irritated as they chattered and ignored her. "HEY! YOU DIPSHITS!" She screamed, halting their convo. "I'm so fucking tired of you guys-" her thoughts raced back to home, "I'm so tired... I'm tired of you always accusing me of shit I didn't do!" The alter, the goblins, her head started spinning again. She tried to focus on the crowd but her vision started going blurry. She suddenly started remembering voices from the past; the voices jeered at her, they held no hospitality. ‘These people I’m remembering are..’ Her eyes squinted towards the ground in concentration, her eyebrows furrowed in discontent.
"She's lying, I bet she learned how to lie so well from those goblins," one person jeering, he picked up a rock and threw it at her. "That's how she got her dad-"
"ShUT UP!" She screamed, turning her head slightly to dodge the rock. ‘So Nimble’ she thought to herself. ‘When did I learn to react so fast...’ She turned and faced the crowd to continue her defense. "My dad..."
"That was never my dad. You're the ones lying to yourselves here."
third person pov (i changed cq’s clothes to beginner long pants instead for the drawings o(-< )
She continued walking across the open field, slaying any leftover goblins she could find as they scurried across the fields trying to escape her sight.
“This is stupid” She said to herself over and over, walking while grasping Eiry in her hands. “You’re stupid too” She said to the sword, “Aren’t you supposed to be special or something because you glow? Why don’t you do all the work for me? I’m getting tired of swinging my arms around.”
“It’s not that simple, Milletian.” Eiry shimmered in her hand. “It requires an extremely large amount of energy to even move my vessel, let alone do damage to outside enemies. The only energy I have is reserved for Tin to use, not you!” She cried. The sword’s handle vibrated slightly in Cq’s hand, angering her.
“You listen up, you pipsqueak!” Cq yelled, gripping her hand around the handle so tightly that her knuckles turned pale “Your little master isn't around, so you listen to m-” Cq stopped suddenly, her hands loosened and Eiry landed with a small thud to the ground.
“No...” She said to herself, “No no no, this is-” She looked down and kneeled where she stood. A person laid on the ground, unmoving. Withholding the retching in her stomach she reached out and touched the hand of the dead young girl, and within that hand was a waxen wing of the goddess. “This...” Cq’s eyes moved from the hand towards the face. “This is...”
Her face moved towards the ground, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “I can’t believe this.”
“What on earth AM I?!??” Cq screamed at the face that resembled her own, as if it would give her the answer. “I never left the area?? I... I fucking died here? Without even using the feather?” She looked to the side, a pool of blood trailed away from the side of the dead young cq into the nearby forest.
“Itzu...” Cq softly mumbled, suddenly remembering the Goddess’ words about his death.
“My entire life was WASTED!!”
An unholy roar bellowed from the back of her throat as she gripped the back of her head and threw herself back up.
I’M ALREADY DEAD I’M ALREADY DEAD I’M ALREADY DEAD WHAT’S THE POINT?!
Turning around towards the small glowing sword she dropped on the ground she whispered “If I couldn't save him and I’m already dead then what is this?” She felt the front of her abdomen. “This must be a cursed body, what they call a Milletian; immortal.” Her eyes narrowed to the sword.
“I’ve heard of you before, now that I think about it.” The sword stayed oddly quiet. Cq shook the sword viciously “You can destroy souls can’t you?! You’re a spirit weapon right?? I’ve heard about you from Lassar’s classes! What you can’t harm physically you can harm spiritually!”
Raising the sword to her stomach without a second thought she lunged it towards herself, but the sword immediately halted before touching her.
"EIRY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?! OBEY YOUR WIELDER!" She screeched, gripping the handle as tightly as she could.The sword shook with great strength, trying to break Cq’s grasp on the handle.
"No!!" The sword cried in response "I can't allow you to do this, even if it means using my energy reserves to stop your attacks!"
“You can’t stop me!!” Screamed Cq, raising Eiry again into the air to slash at her vital points.
Swinging and swinging again Cq tore at her sides, trying to hit a vital spot but instead the weapon’s energy veered her attacks off course, causing her to slash at her sides.
“STOP MAKING ME MISS, EIRY! YER PUTTING ME IN MORE PAIN THAN I HAVE TO BE!”
Cq swore under her breath as her vision became foggy, the blood loss was beginning to take a toll on her senses with each swing. Blood splurt out of the open wounds, soaking the earth beneath her.
‘She won’t attack others for me but she’ll use her energy to keep me from attacking myself? What a goddamned hypocrite’ Cq thought to herself, her legs gave away and she kneeled to the ground in agony, each breath becoming haggard and difficult to keep steady.
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