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@ask-escort-blog
hey, important announcement
i’m putting this blog on hiatus since i’m not really having much fun with it anymore. but i can’t really deactivate since i have things planned for later on. it’ll be deactivated after the events have passed, sorry.
but you can always follow my other blogs > @ask-an-arso or @lockedinstone since i’ll most likely be active there. or try to be
How much money will it take for you to play with me?
“Depends how long you want it to be, darling. It can range from 1k to 7k.”
“The more stuff you want the more expensive it gets, simple as that. I’m not cheap. But at least you get the real deal, right? You won’t find anybody like me.”
in all of your clientele in these years, did you meet anyone with two dicks? who was the biggest virgin?
“This is such a stupid question. No i have not met people with two dicks.”
He sighed, holding his head in his hands, shaking it.
“The biggest virgins were people who were actual virgins. Why am i being asked such questions?”
hey can i get uhhhhjhhhhhhhhhhh rip my ass?
“Yes.”
“If you pay me that is. Otherwise i wouldn’t even bother looking at you.”
WHY IS YOUR BROTHER SUCH A MASSIVE VIRGIN
“Hello, it’s Nate speaking. My brother gave me his computer so i can tell you that you are horrible. Judging people based on their sexual experiences? That’s awful of you, people like you are disgusting! Even Tate wouldn’t say this. Just so you know, i can use guns very well. I have 3 snipers and 3 machine guns. I also have pistols and i’m not afraid to use them. I’ve been training how to shoot my whole life and i’m not letting an ugly grey skinned man with sunglasses tell me what i am. Homestuck is over, buddy, get over it. I’ll also tell my brother to–”
“Sorry, he’s emotional.”
D E A TH
“What do we say to the god of death?”
“Not today.”
do you have a good ass. buttcheeks like bowling balls
“That’s a weird comparison, but sure, they are.”
“Otherwise i wouldn’t be this rich, right? People just like what they see.”
isnt viktor your boyfriend??????? he'll get jealous
“We’ve talked about it, even if he’s jealous i make sure to tell him that everyone who i have to work with is a nobody to me. Everyone.”
“…I feel kind of bad but i really can’t abandon my job. I like it too much.”
depends, freckled doctor is a bit of a hard client if you get my drift ;-)
“You’re saying that as if you haven’t seen my face, i can make anybody swoon. Probably. Depends if you like guys i guess.”
in a 1-10 scale how ud rate your thighs sir
“Godly.”
what about escorting that new se- doctor lad 👁 the freckled one
“…..How much will you pay me?”
1,000 dollars if u escort nathan
“I’ll see…………………. Money first ……….”
"You told me that I'd crawl back to you in less than two days but you couldn't keep yourself composed for less than /two/ hours! I guess I'm not the one that needs you, huh?" -bleachandblood
“…Excuse me? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anythi– Ugh, fine.”
“I just miss you a lot okay! I’m so used to being with you and it feels weird when i’m away… We have pointless fights all the time but we make up the first few minutes so this was new. Can you blame me for wanting to be with you?”
“……..I don’t like you though, we’re just … Bros! Haha yes. Friends with er benefits? Yeah. Totally.”
“M-Me? Warm? I-I’m warm..?”
He blushed, and drifted his gaze to anywhere but Tate. “T-That’s - new. I… I really am notorious for my cold hands. Or cold personality. L-Like ice, yeah?”
Maybe he was warm, because he was flushed, from cheeks, to collarbone, and to his ears. Viktor doesn’t even believe he’s stuttering right now - this was embarrassing. But in a good way. Not humiliating, it kind of make his heart stir and made him smile like a love drunken fool.
“Uh - thank you. Really. I’m not that important anyway s-so I don’t think you’d want that from me more…?” Or I am generally unable to show you my affection because I’m scared? Really, he needed to push that fear back. He trusted the escort, and maybe the escort wouldn’t hurt the janitor.
“You aren’t cold, you’re just a lovable idiot…”
The escort let out a dreamy sigh, burying his head in the blonde man’s neck. Viktor really was cold most of the time, but he didn’t really care. He always treated him better and that’s what matters.
Tate moved back a bit, taking a good look at the blushing mess Viktor is right now. The boy’s eyes sparkled with joy, his smile as wide as it could be. He caressed the investigator’s cheeks, moving his head so he could look at him.
“…Maybe that’s why i like you so much. You’re important to me. And i’m hoping you feel like that too. It’d be such a shame if you didnt.”
He let out a quiet laughter, grinning to himself. It was just a way to his nervousness.
“Oh my god, you’re so corny,” The janitor chuckled, and he was lost in thought, away from all worries. Momentarily, though.
He was faced with having to answer - or imply that he did - if he loved him - he did. But he was afraid. Not of him, no. Mostly of what would happen to Tate if the damned serial killer found out (why couldn’t he be stupid?), or to even Viktor himself.
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t let you touch me or be this intimate with me if I didn’t like you,” Viktor looked away, his cheeks flushed rosy red and voice wavering. “But if you like me soo much, that means you love me, don’t ya?” He teased, his sing song voice high pitched and annoying, almost obnoxious.
He was going to get that sentence out of him, but really, he loved him too. It’d just be painful to deal with.
“I...I er, i don’t know. I’ve never really...said that before. To somebody who wasn’t family.”
And that was true, he’s never dropped the love bomb to anyone except his brother and mother. Was that bad? It was weird for him, but then again he’s never experienced romantic attraction. Until now. The escort rolled his eyes, moving Viktor’s face back so he could look at him.
“Fine. I do love you. Now you say it too. Don’t leave me hanging like you always do.”
Tate got a bit closer, placing his forehead on the other man’s. His skin was soft and warm, the blush on his pale face apparent. Even if he acted like a total jerk sometimes he still loved Viktor a lot, he was simply a dork.
"You told me that I'd crawl back to you in less than two days but you couldn't keep yourself composed for less than /two/ hours! I guess I'm not the one that needs you, huh?" -bleachandblood
“…Excuse me? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anythi– Ugh, fine.”
“I just miss you a lot okay! I’m so used to being with you and it feels weird when i’m away… We have pointless fights all the time but we make up the first few minutes so this was new. Can you blame me for wanting to be with you?”
“……..I don’t like you though, we’re just … Bros! Haha yes. Friends with er benefits? Yeah. Totally.”
“M-Me? Warm? I-I’m warm..?”
He blushed, and drifted his gaze to anywhere but Tate. “T-That’s - new. I… I really am notorious for my cold hands. Or cold personality. L-Like ice, yeah?”
Maybe he was warm, because he was flushed, from cheeks, to collarbone, and to his ears. Viktor doesn’t even believe he’s stuttering right now - this was embarrassing. But in a good way. Not humiliating, it kind of make his heart stir and made him smile like a love drunken fool.
“Uh - thank you. Really. I’m not that important anyway s-so I don’t think you’d want that from me more…?” Or I am generally unable to show you my affection because I’m scared? Really, he needed to push that fear back. He trusted the escort, and maybe the escort wouldn’t hurt the janitor.
“You aren’t cold, you’re just a lovable idiot...”
The escort let out a dreamy sigh, burying his head in the blonde man’s neck. Viktor really was cold most of the time, but he didn’t really care. He always treated him better and that’s what matters.
Tate moved back a bit, taking a good look at the blushing mess Viktor is right now. The boy’s eyes sparkled with joy, his smile as wide as it could be. He caressed the investigator’s cheeks, moving his head so he could look at him.
“...Maybe that’s why i like you so much. You’re important to me. And i’m hoping you feel like that too. It’d be such a shame if you didnt.”
He let out a quiet laughter, grinning to himself. It was just a way to his nervousness.
I love you
“Awe, you’re too sweet! I’m glad you guys find me nice! I try my best, but it’s so hard in this town where everyone is fighting each other. Townies especially.”
“I heard this one lookout punches everyone, i wonder if she’d punch me too…”
BIG BOOBIS HHGFDYUUAAAAAA HUYUUUU ESCORT BOOB 👌💦😉😉😉😉😉
“Thanks? I mean i don’t have boobs, but ok.”
My baby don't mess aroundBecause she loves me soAnd this I know for shoBut does she really want itBut can't stand to see meWalk out the door?Don't try to fight the feelingCause the thought alone is killing me right nowThank God for Mom and DadFor sticking through togetherCause we don't know how
“This isn’t Salem Idol.”
