Mary takes a loooong sip of her wine.

An ask blog for Mary Christiansen! I also RP~ There's only two rules to my blog: be kind, and keep your drama to yourself.

[look-at-that-stupid-raven]

hey guys meet my husband @cryptidsdickhunter

we have 20 children and the child support is so graciously paid by @ink-the-crow

[cryptidsdickhunter-deactivated2]

THIS IS FAKE NEWS.

I am NOT married to that annoying bird creature of the devil. I repeat. NOT MARRIED. THIS IS SLANDER. Someone throw a rock at that bird.

[lucien-bloodmarch-aesthetic]

So… you aren’t denying the 20 children part??

[cryptidsdickhunter-deactivated2]

…

Lucien you little shit. Are you siding with the bird?! I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH A BIRD.

[lucien-bloodmarch-aesthetic]

You still haven’t denied the 20 children part though.

I don’t care… what you’ve done with the bird… I’m just intrigued that you won’t say anything about these supposed kids.

[ask-mary]

So... Robert's a bird furry?

[ask-mary]

peng

IT'S ME!! How long has it been??? Is anyone still active? :0 – Mun

[ask-mary]

Mother, there's no heaven.

Mary quirks a brow, and turns her attention from the television to her daughter."Honey, have you been listening to Lucien's music again?" She asks.

[ask-mary]

UGH

GUYS I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN ACTIVE FOR 6 MILLION YEARS LIFE'S BEEN SO HECTIC AND I HAVEN'T HAD ANY INSPIRATION FOR ANYTHING

[therandomninjakitty]

She knows where the baby is. She just likes messing with Joseph.

[fae-king]

@teamskulleliza

[ask-mary]

It's true. It's hilarious, honestly.

[donutgod1-deactivated20140913]

Unfollow me if you make fun of trans people’s pronouns or their identity

[himfromthesun-deactivated201712]

And unfollow me if you think it’s acceptable to misgender them just because you don’t like them as a person.

[jacktheriver]

thank you for sacrificing followers to fight for me and many like me.

[dolay999]

Day 5

[dolay999]

dog shampoo

Day4

[ask-mary]

Did you know Mr. Christiansen is a Cat Racist? Spread the word!

... The fuck?

[ask-mary]

The mun does not smoke weed. I am a Child of God™ –-Mun

[an-actual-frickin-baby]

Henlo you STINKY BABY! Go eat a cookie, ugly!

:‘C

Meanie!

[pastel-prayers]

Strangers, please do not cyberbully my children! Or anyone at all! :-(

[lucien-bloodmarch-aesthetic]

You want me to fight that anon Mr. Christensen? 

[ask-mary]

-Mary is already rolling up her sleeves and storming towards the anon. She is 200% ready to Throw Down™-

[xxpvbloxx]

Life hack buy 45 packages of crackers at once

[pablo-sella]

definitely a life hack. I once bought 50 to be safe

[xxpvbloxx]

Smart move, gotta be prepared

[lucien-bloodmarch-aesthetic]

Prepared for what???! 

[ask-mary]

For the inevitable.

[ask-mary]

Sorry I haven't been as active. Mun hasn't been 100%

[d-bloodmarch]

I just got misgendered for the first time in months… fantastic.

[ask-mary]

WHICH ONE OF YOU SHIT BAGS MISGENDERED MY PRECIOUS DAMES?!

[d-bloodmarch]

Just an employee at Sephora, my dear Mary.

[ask-mary]

Oh. Hm. -purses lips-

[d-bloodmarch]

I appreciate the willingness to maim someone for my sake.

[ask-mary]

Don't mention it. -gently pats his head-

[d-bloodmarch]

I just got misgendered for the first time in months… fantastic.

[ask-mary]

WHICH ONE OF YOU SHIT BAGS MISGENDERED MY PRECIOUS DAMES?!

[d-bloodmarch]

Just an employee at Sephora, my dear Mary.

[ask-mary]

Oh. Hm. -purses lips-

[d-bloodmarch]

I just got misgendered for the first time in months… fantastic.

[ask-mary]

WHICH ONE OF YOU SHIT BAGS MISGENDERED MY PRECIOUS DAMES?!

[ask-mary]

Mary. Mary. MARY. I am at Saint Mercy's hospital. Do you want to come over and maybe sneak some booze??? I am starting to get the shivers. Room 306. If you don't come I'll drink rubbing alcohol.

-Before Mary can even read the rest of the message, she's already getting up and rushing out the door. She dives into the car, and texts him back-[Mary to Smalls 👻🍺🔪: What the fuck why are u in the hospital?!]