WHERE DID MY TWINKIES GO?

Charles: We’ve come to take you home!

Peter: Three days later!

Erik: nobody knew where you were, and your phone was off!

Peter: I texted Scott!

*everyone slowly turns to scott*

Scott: …I’m sorry for not responding to like, ONE, text Peter-

@national-himbo-treasure @ask-peter-maximoffs

IT WAS THE TEXT THAT MATTERED SCOTT!

ALSO YOU MISSED THE LAST 20 TEXTS.

@national-himbo-treasure

I WAS GONNA CHECK MY MESSAGES AND RESPOND BUT I KEPT FORGETING IM SORRY GOSH

AND YOU TEXT ME MEMES, RANDOM JOKES, OR ABOUT TWINKIES 90% OF THE TIME SO DONT BLAME ME FOR ASSUMING IT WAS SOMETHING RANDOM

JUBILEE BACK ME UP HOMIE @amazing-jubilee

NO MATTER WHAT MEME OR JOKES I TEXT THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND YOU SHOULD LOVE ME.

I DO BUT YOUR MEMES ARE GODAWFUL SOMETIMES!

LIKE AT LEAST I SEND YOU CURSED IMAGES! THOSE ARE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOUR MEMES!

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING!?

Scott forgot to check my texts so I've been stranded

Charles: We’ve come to take you home!

Peter: Three days later!

Erik: nobody knew where you were, and your phone was off!

Peter: I texted Scott!

*everyone slowly turns to scott*

Scott: …I’m sorry for not responding to like, ONE, text Peter-

@national-himbo-treasure @ask-peter-maximoffs

IT WAS THE TEXT THAT MATTERED SCOTT!

ALSO YOU MISSED THE LAST 20 TEXTS.

@national-himbo-treasure

I WAS GONNA CHECK MY MESSAGES AND RESPOND BUT I KEPT FORGETING IM SORRY GOSH

AND YOU TEXT ME MEMES, RANDOM JOKES, OR ABOUT TWINKIES 90% OF THE TIME SO DONT BLAME ME FOR ASSUMING IT WAS SOMETHING RANDOM

JUBILEE BACK ME UP HOMIE @amazing-jubilee

NO MATTER WHAT MEME OR JOKES I TEXT THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND YOU SHOULD LOVE ME.

I DO BUT YOUR MEMES ARE GODAWFUL SOMETIMES!

LIKE AT LEAST I SEND YOU CURSED IMAGES! THOSE ARE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOUR MEMES!

Charles: We’ve come to take you home!

Peter: Three days later!

Erik: nobody knew where you were, and your phone was off!

Peter: I texted Scott!

*everyone slowly turns to scott*

Scott: …I’m sorry for not responding to like, ONE, text Peter-

@national-himbo-treasure @ask-peter-maximoffs

IT WAS THE TEXT THAT MATTERED SCOTT!

ALSO YOU MISSED THE LAST 20 TEXTS.

@national-himbo-treasure

I WAS GONNA CHECK MY MESSAGES AND RESPOND BUT I KEPT FORGETING IM SORRY GOSH

AND YOU TEXT ME MEMES, RANDOM JOKES, OR ABOUT TWINKIES 90% OF THE TIME SO DONT BLAME ME FOR ASSUMING IT WAS SOMETHING RANDOM

JUBILEE BACK ME UP HOMIE @amazing-jubilee

NO MATTER WHAT MEME OR JOKES I TEXT THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND YOU SHOULD LOVE ME.

Charles: We’ve come to take you home!

Peter: Three days later!

Erik: nobody knew where you were, and your phone was off!

Peter: I texted Scott!

*everyone slowly turns to scott*

Scott: …I’m sorry for not responding to like, ONE, text Peter-

@national-himbo-treasure @ask-peter-maximoffs

IT WAS THE TEXT THAT MATTERED SCOTT!

ALSO YOU MISSED THE LAST 20 TEXTS.

@national-himbo-treasure

txngledbxnds

He would, and probably has. (@ask-peter-maximoffs )

And lmao yes the long running joke.

Hasn't toaster been a thing before as well, I feel like there's an alternate version with toaster? Or am I going mad?

Thank you so much 🧡🧡🧡

Stole my meme. STOLE MY MICROWAVE MEME

ilajue

“When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy” - griffin mcelroy

bonus:

(if you liked, please reblog!! likes are appreciated but reblogs do more to support artists)

Okay I'm sorry TAZ AND DSMP

Poggers.

POG

POGGEST.

I was running through the woods when I fell in a ravine and died...

.... you mean in minecraft right?

my little brother came into my room last night to tell me that he was gonna sew a stack of my mom’s saltine crackers together through the little holes and then left again

i ended up distracting my parents so he could put the crackers back in the little sleeve like hed only taken one from the top. i dont know if anybodys found them yet but i talked to him about it later and it turns out that theyre sewn together TIGHTLY. like. the ENTIRE stack through ALL the holes

it has been three days and my mom has still not discovered the sewed together cracker stack in the box in the cupboard

ilivebetweenjohnsthighs

I’m DESPERATE to see the sewn crackers

i have no idea how he accomplished this

there seems to be some confusion on how old my little brother is. my little brother is 19, one year younger than me, and is majoring in three separate subjects in uni. he just likes to cause problems on purpose

txngledbxnds

@ask-peter-maximoffs

:)

txngledbxnds

Scenes from inside a phone, starring Duch’s boys, inspired by this post.

Logan: Grumpy Bear?

Duch: Yeah, because you’re grumpy and my care bear. :)

Logan: ….a’ight

And I will NEVER live it down.

Where did you find snuffles? Baby just because we're married doesnt mean you can steal snuffles.

Squid game has the most hurtful betrayal since snape killed Dumbledore

My friends: OH SHIT PETERS AWAKE AT AN UNGODLY HOUR GET THE RIOT SHIELDS

Jubilee go to bed stop stalking me. I saw that shit

NO!

THAT POST WASN'T EVEN UP 10 SECONDS. WHAT DO YOU JUST LOOK AT MY BLOG REFRESHING AND SIGH WHEN THERES NOT A NEW POST LIKE A MILITARY WIFE LOOKING AT THE PHONE?

NO- I WAS CASUALLY SCROLLING WHEN I SAW IT-

YOU HESITATED BITCH! @national-himbo-treasure LOOK AT THIS SHIT

WHY ARE YOU BRINGING SCOTT INTO THIS-

BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES TO POKE FUN! WIN WIN

Jubilee go to bed stop stalking me. I saw that shit

NO!

THAT POST WASN'T EVEN UP 10 SECONDS. WHAT DO YOU JUST LOOK AT MY BLOG REFRESHING AND SIGH WHEN THERES NOT A NEW POST LIKE A MILITARY WIFE LOOKING AT THE PHONE?

NO- I WAS CASUALLY SCROLLING WHEN I SAW IT-

YOU HESITATED BITCH! @national-himbo-treasure LOOK AT THIS SHIT

Jubilee go to bed stop stalking me. I saw that shit

NO!