Passion Pit

Heya Sport, name's Sanguine Daedric Lord of Self Indulgence. ~✿~Dog Cock Lover 666~✿~

[ask-sanguine]

askhircine said: [hircine presents himself] [And then, they yiffed.]

[ask-sanguine]

Your pheromones tell my nose that you are in season

I'm always in season.

[ask-sanguine]

DO YOU LIKE THE BOOTY

What do you think, simpleton.

[ask-sanguine]

Did you know that I tricked EVERYONE into thinking I was Kynareth? Even that Morihaus guy. I fucked like ten people too and they said I was like 7/10 beat that.

You left out a zero. Like 7/100, more like. Morihaus is easy to trick though, the guy's a fucking cow, he's not clever. But sure, regale me with this glorious tale.

[ask-sanguine]

OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

No.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

You suck, Sanguine.

[ask-sanguine]

You’d like it if I did.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

URGH SANGUINE you’re so gross stop it you’re making me look uncool.

[ask-sanguine]

No, I’m not making you look anything. You are uncool, a fucking loser nerd.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

YOU’RE A FUCKING LOSER NERD

[ask-sanguine]

Whatever, punk. [He puts on his aviator sunglasses, zips up his leather jacket, & hops on his harley with biker babe Hircine on the back, before pulling a totally sick wheelie, & driving away.]

[ask-sanguine]

OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

No.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

You suck, Sanguine.

[ask-sanguine]

You’d like it if I did.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

URGH SANGUINE you’re so gross stop it you’re making me look uncool.

[ask-sanguine]

No, I'm not making you look anything. You are uncool, a fucking loser nerd.

[ask-sanguine]

Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t too bad.

[ask-sanguine]

That’s bullshit, I don’t even care about the rest of your rebuttal. Your dick is garbage. My dick? My dick is infinite in it’s majesty. There’s no beginning or end to my dick. It’s eternal. A thick, veiny, throbbing continuum against which you can measure all of creation.

My dick is flawless. Fuck you.

[askhircine]

Sounds like someone is self conscious about their dick, going to that length to prove how “great” it is.

[He headbutts Sanguine, a display of male dominance.] 

[ask-sanguine]

[Sanguine cockslaps him, also a display of male dominance. But a better one.] I hate you, you stupid fuckdog.

[ask-sanguine]

OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

No.

[daedricprinceofwishes]

You suck, Sanguine.

[ask-sanguine]

You'd like it if I did.

[ask-sanguine]

Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t too bad.

[askhircine]

[He continues squishing Sanguine’s cheeks, because he sounds hilarious when he’s trying to talk with them being squished like that. Also, because it aggravates Sanguine, and there’s nothing better than an aggravated Daedric Prince in their own plane of Oblivion.]

You’re a gigantic pissbaby who is just jealous that I tricked everyone and you didn’t because your pranks are really bad in comparison to my own. Also, your dick is small and mine is way bigger. 

[ask-sanguine]

That’s bullshit, I don’t even care about the rest of your rebuttal. Your dick is garbage. My dick? My dick is infinite in it’s majesty. There’s no beginning or end to my dick. It’s eternal. A thick, veiny, throbbing continuum against which you can measure all of creation. My dick is flawless. Fuck you.

[ask-sanguine]

OI. SANGERS. Did you miss me?

No.

[ask-sanguine]

Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn’t too bad.

[askhircine]

You don’t understand.

You don’t get it.

[He puts his hands on Sanguine’s cheeks and squishes them, and when he speaks, his voice is a whisper]

I tricked them so good. 

[ask-sanguine]

They didn't know who you were though. You weren't high profile, chief. Try again now that everyone knows you, & what your little munchkins are like. It's like saying you're a master lover, who's never disappointed their partner, when you've only ever slept with a sex doll.

[ask-sanguine]

That's what happens when you expect a timely answer from the Prince of Indulgence. I just woke up in a sea of naked writhing bodies, & I'll be damned it's been months by your limited mortal reckoning.

[ask-sanguine]

"Uhh, sir? How would one go about finding the technique for brewing a certain alcoholic beverage that they've only ever had a sip of in their entire life, and that most of the locals have never heard of?"

Throw some meat in a pot, let it ferment, add milk, try not to let too many bugs in, hope for the best.Even if it tastes terrible, it'll probably get you blitzed.

[ask-sanguine]

Sanguine, as the prince of self indulgence and darker passions, I really need to pray to you. I need serious help. I need a party, or something. I'm going to lose my damn mind if I keep doing the same, boring, agonizingly mundane things. Any tips?

Don't ask for advice first off. Take the first thing that comes to mind, & just do it. Don't think about it. Just do it, with fervor.

[ask-sanguine]

Hey. Hey you. Do you remember that time when I tricked EVERYONE.

You mean when you pulled one over on the monkey empire? Yeah, I remember. It wasn't too bad.

[ask-sanguine]

Sexy boobs baby.wanna sex

Eh, sure. Whatever.

[ask-sanguine]

//...I was gonna try and do a Beauty and the Beast thing but...// "What in the name of- hello."

"You’re one of those tossers who worships the Void are you? Never was fond of your lot. Don’t know how to have a good time. You sit in the dark & have contests over who’s edgier, & pretend the Is-Not actually cares about you." He rubs his forehead, & coughs. "Is there something you want?"

[nightshadeflavoredapples-deacti]

"Hmph! Obviously you have not met all of Sithis’ worshipers!” Lucien was hurt- he knew how to have fun right? He even brought his best bottle with him…

[ask-sanguine]

"I'm actually passing familiar with most of you, sometimes when I visit the Webspinner in their realm we chat about whether or not any of you will ever realize they're just using you for when they need a blunt instrument, & letting you go on thinking Sithis has even a thing to do with it. Mephala thinks it's possible one of you might some day, but I've more experience with mortals than they do, & you're all far too arrogant to ever see when you've been tricked, much less acknowledge it."