200th post, you know what this means
In case you haven't read my last post I'll be deleting this blog soon and I promised to write my 'apology' now, days late because I just got back from vacation and tumblr mobile isn't the greatest.
Initially I planned on deleting without a trace but later I found it quite unfair to leave you gorgeous (1.679!!!) people behind without any explanation on why.
I've received a pm asking if it was because I don't receive asks on this blog and, that's not really the case, I get them every day/week and I have 51 asks right now
Now it seems kinda rude of me now seeming that it looks like I'm just being lazy. Although I do joke around that I'm too lazy to answer them all, reality is that I am kind of losing interest in drawing and every single idea I had for these answers were scrapped because I couldn't draw it right, my sketching process went from 5 min to 65 mins (on a good day!) not to mention how busy I'll be with highschool soon.
It's more on the fact that I'm just growing older, and I apologize on that greatly for letting something so shabby ruin everything. But it's sort of the core of the problem.
This blog started in 2012, I was a hyper-anxious 13 yr old at the time getting too depressed by school and my depersonalization didn't help at all! I barely had any friends and the friends I did have were just abusing me the only true friends I had at the time were my brother, and my online friends.
Before I entered tumblr I was already into hetalia because those 5 min shorts and tiny manga strips were enough to lift my spirits after a bad week, but after I've gotten to know about askblogs and how fun they were thanks to my friends Alex, Gaby, and Grecia! So I said ''hey! the Seborga character needs more love! There's nothing in his tag so this will be a good excuse!'' And thus begins my short route of distraction from my life and I would be lying if I said that it didn't work because of you all!!! You guys made ask-seborga a fun experience it was 100% you guys!
But I wasn't 13 forever, soon I was 14 and I needed to attend cram school and think about my life as a university student (the highschool I chose is connected to the state's university) and through really harsh procedures I was disciplined (by classmates and teachers) to know that no one really gives a shit about my emotional state and that I should just ''mature'' already because with my ''attitude'' I wouldn't go anywhere in life. I do not recommend telling anyone this btw it's awful. Early 15s I passed the exam and got into the highschool I wanted and surprise it's a much tougher crowd and I ended up putting my education onto my 1st priority since one tiny slip in work could damage the whole semester. As I gain, I lost. I turned into a much bigger perfectionist and my interests moved elsewhere, I constantly forgot about this blog and everytime I did attend it just ends with it not being that fun anymore.
This blog wasn't really made to be long lived and I am sorry for letting you guys down this letter looks more like I'm just discussing my own personal problems despite me leaving some stuff out but I really wish to have the same ambition as before but I can't right now.
This doesn't mean I'll stop drawing forever of course but I just want a little weight off my shoulder. If you guys think that the askblog shouldn't die then I bequeath you guys to push it forward on your own, I'll delete so that you guys could take the url in hopes for it to make you happy like it did to me back then.
I love you all so much, I wish you the very best please don't hurt yourselves on the way. You are valuable and don't let anyone belittle your feelings. When something feels wrong, educate yourself before correcting it. ♥Hugs and kisses♥
If you guys wanna sketch or discuss fandom things with me I'll be happy to send you guys my skype name and twitter.