Ask Spideypool

Hey, this is Peter and Wade willing to answer any and all of your questions. Especially the inappropriate ones.

[ask-spideypool]

How do you deal with Peter's radioactive semen?

Wade: You know I've already got cancer and a healing factor right?

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Is Pete ticklish?

Y’know what? I’m not sure. Hey, Petey? Got a question for you. 

Why would you even think to bring that up? We’ve been dating a long time and he still has no idea.

Don’t worry, guise. I’ll find out and get back to you. No wait- PETER WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

[ask-spideypool]

What is your song?

Oh it’s so romantic. The sweetest song really. 

Yeah. I second that one.

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What could possibly posses you to send that to me? That's not even funny. At all.

[That's our boyfriend dude.]

Right. Dude, that's not right.

{we are so not getting laid.}

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I watch Doctor Who pretty much religiously every week, even when Wade tries to distract me from it. Everything about it is incredible, especially the aliens and their tech.

Is that the show with the gay underwear models? Nah, too many chick flick moments. Petey keeps getting me to watch that alien show but we all know that I'm the greatest show on Earth.

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Hello my name is Deadpool and this is my favorite gray face on the Citadel. Wait... wrong game. 

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WHERE DID YOU GUYS GO ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THERE WAS AN UPDATE

It’s a secret. Nah, the lady who types out the shit I say has a lot going on. I honestly don’t know what’s going on with Petey-pudding. I’m sure he’s saving the world or something. Keep an eye out, there may be something new coming. 

[ask-spideypool]

Boxes? I don't know-

{Hey, shut up. This is our question.}

[SOMEONE REMEMBERED US! Our mun sure didn't.]

{Nah, she's just lazy.}

[Don't defend her.]

{Hey, I happen to like her.}

[Yeah well, like you said, she's lazy.]

{That wasn't the question tho.}

[Right yeah. We're good. Being boxes and all that. Helping guide that weird Wade guy through life and shit.]

{You know we technically are that weird Wade guy right?}

[Right... Damn.]

Can we all just shut up now? I've got a blog to run.

[ask-spideypool]

See.... I'm sure we would but there was this whole thing with the Scarlet Bi-Witch getting all offended when I told her speedy blond kid that the way to a woman's heart was through stuffing his pants. Then she made me a girl for a bit. So yeah no.

I don't think I would say no if either of them wanted to but after the whole thing with Billy's mom and Wade, I highly doubt they would want to.

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I have literally no idea what they're talking about.

What was that?

I really don't know, Wade.

Go away or I'll bite you. 

Wade, nothing happened, just leave it.

Fine. Come here so I can bite you. 

[ask-spideypool]

Okay, first of all, obviously he's wanted or I wouldn't be with him. Second, where the heck is this fat you're talking about? There is literally no fat on him, except maybe in his head. Just because you don't think he's attractive for whatever reason, doesn't mean that nobody else will. So kindly take your hate and go somewhere where someone who cares can hear you.

Hey don't piss off Petey. He hasn't figured that out yet. 

I don't care if you think I can do better, I still only want Wade.

Awwww yeah, Anon. I'm so gonna get some. Thanks.

[ask-spideypool]

Peter, run, it's Nutcase Girl... or was it Tail Girl... either way, she's crazy. 

  You were beaten up by a 15 year old? I think I finally found something manlier than Bea.

SHE'S LIKE FREAKY FAST AND KIND OF CREEPY. Look at her smile. All teeth and fluffy tail stuff and claws. Ugh. 

I stand by my comment.

[ask-spideypool]

DON'T BE A FOOL, WRAP YOUR TOOL!

Funny how it's insinuated you're the only one that would need to use a condom.

Well it's obvious that I'm the only one who can top. What with my yaoi hands and your adorable uke thing you've got going. No way you can be inside of me. Nope. 

I didn't understand a word you just said.

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Hey. Hey Petey. Did you realize we have a blog? Cause we totally have a blog. I totally didn't forget. That was so my mun. 

  .......We have a blog?

PETER PARKER! All right, let's leave the blog to the muns and we can go... over there.

[ask-spideypool]

You haven't seen the rest of me. 

Just because he has some scars doesn't mean he still doesn't look yummy.

Did you just call me yummy?

...It's possible.

[ask-spideypool]

Once in a while, we end up borrowing things from each other. Usually shirts or sweatshirts since he's a few inches taller than I am.

I tried wearing his costume once. Worse. Decision. Ever. Thought I was gonna get stuck singing soprano. 

[ask-spideypool]

Trying to catch Petey off guard with random sexy costumes. Did it work?

It didn't work and probably never will. Probably.

HE SAID PROBABLY. 

I would say never but there's a chance he could find one that works.

I bet if I dressed up like that Felicia woman it'd work.

so that would include you in a skintight catsuit?

That might work.

I was being sar- you know what? I know what you're getting for Christmas.