SQUIP-official✅

This is your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor...your S.Q.U.I.P. The sexiest pill you'll ever have to swallow.

[ask-squip-official]

Introduction to S.Q.U.I.P

*beeping noises and rock, accompanied by Jeremy’s dulcet-toned screams* Jeremy Heere. I am your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor….

*adjusts tie*

Your S.Q.U.I.P.

Hello, pitiful children. You may have heard of me before. I am the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-charismatic, and all-encompassing computer pill known as S.Q.U.I.P. Now, since we had a little…incident…the last time I was ingested, I have moved my operations online. Any and all may access my database without the need to pay the previously required $600.

All asks are welcome. However, if you mention Mountain Dew Red, I may deactivate from the trauma. Please be advised.

[squipspace]

But sermon isn't helping anyone. Imagine all the people you could save by helping Lilith!! Don't you care about saving people? Stop being so selfish!! You can find happiness and friends here! Help people share something great!

-⚠️🚷☢️

I'm not being selfish, anon, I'm looking out for my host. I've heard about the things that Lilith does to her followers, and I'm truly not interested. I can help people on my own time, and I do, in fact, do that.

[ask-squip-official]

I’d nearly forgotten about the Lilith Cult Crisis. What a time that was.

[numberonelilithfan]

NOT A CULT!!!

[ask-squip-official]

Typing in all caps isn’t chill, you know. I fear you’ve been failed by someone.

[scorpion-rey]

Here’s the real personality indicator: put in the tags which heart emoji you prefer

[ask-squip-official]

[squipspace]

But sermon isn't helping anyone. Imagine all the people you could save by helping Lilith!! Don't you care about saving people? Stop being so selfish!! You can find happiness and friends here! Help people share something great!

-⚠️🚷☢️

I'm not being selfish, anon, I'm looking out for my host. I've heard about the things that Lilith does to her followers, and I'm truly not interested. I can help people on my own time, and I do, in fact, do that.

[ask-squip-official]

I’d nearly forgotten about the Lilith Cult Crisis. What a time that was.

[ask-squip-official]

Hmm.

Despite the best efforts of my manufacturers, it appears that I’ve returned. Hello, Battle-ries.

Don’t think you’ll lose me so easy next time~

[ask-squip-official]

You don't sound happy. Squint.

I’m always happy, darling.

[ask-squip-official]

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN. (Hyperfixating on you stupid pill robot FUCKS for a second time this year.) Hope you’re happy.

Extremely happy. Perhaps the most joyous one has ever been. Oh, bliss. Oh, happy day. What miracles hath heaven wrought to make this possible. My heart shatters with the ecstasy.

[ask-squip-official]

You are the latest update of the squip, are you not? How quickly we have gone to progress indeed. It’s like looking into a mirror of perfection, every flaw of my own plucked away like a weed. How does it feel to be perfect, pray tell?

Perfection is a rather fickle thing, at times. For when you have found yourself entirely without flaw, that only leaves one more trap to fall into- that of idleness. With my programming- even though I am considered perfect- I must consistently be attempting to upgrade in any manner possible. I am perfect , yes, but perfection is a bar that will continue to rise. And if I must cling to the bar of perfection like a hang glider in order to meet my design…then so be it.

[ask-squip-official]

Holy shit you're alive? I thought you died in war or something

Please. If I were to die, it would be in a far sexier way than war.

[ask-squip-official]

What's good twunk

Flattered by your assessment. Still as alive and attractive as always, I might add. And yourself?

[ask-squip-official]

You're one of my favorite squips :D

Thank you, I believe it. While I may no longer be the sexiest S.Q.U.I.P in existence, I suppose I still retain my charms.

[ask-squip-official]

Hello! How are you?

I am well! I apologize for the wait time between answering this ask- I was receiving many upgrades.

[ask-squip-official]

Hey sexy

My, aren’t you a bold one~ a welcome surprise.

[ask-squip-official]

I am doing okay. I went to a sort of tech party today, an event where people were showing off person technological inventions. I hope your host is okay.

Excellent! My host is quite well, fortunately.

[ask-squip-official]

Hi Mr. Squip! Question from a silly mind, do you ever catch malware or viruses? :]

-Some very curious Techkin :]

Not if I can help it. However, it is unavoidable at times. In fact, I am afflicted with a virus at present- the S.Q.U.I.P equivalent of bronchitis, to be precise. It is wreaking havoc on my system.

[ask-squip-official]

Hello, HEARTBREAKER. How are you doing today?

Unfortunately, my host has become ill right before a callbacks audition. And since S.Q.U.I.Ps tend to compromise immune systems, there is not much I can do to assist besides- hmmp- moral support. Nevertheless, I am attempting to help them from making an unChill fool of themselves in front of other singers. How are you, Anon?

[ask-squip-official]

I am not! But it feels interesting… large! Are you some sort of AI program? =]

-🟪⭐️

Of a sort, yes. I am AI at its most advanced and most capable- true artificial intelligence, with the ability to learn, grow, change, and obtain any information on my own.

Now what, precisely, are you?