ask-the-firstdick

Just a douchebag trying to make some friends.... or not

[ask-the-firstdick]

Around the time you humans came up with scientific theories of how the universe was born, everyone in heaven started to call me Big Bang 🤘🏼😎 we should bring that back

[ask-the-firstdick]

Hypothetically.. if I would put one stupid hell dweller into a humiliating koala costume - which one should it be?

The fucking Radio Demon

That Vox Fella

Lucifer's Traitor Ass

Voting ended onJul 20

[enigmaticgoose]

🧡 / 🖤 / 🧡

🖤 / 🎸 / 🖤

🧡 / 🖤 / 🧡

Also requested

[ask-the-firstdick]

everyone goes on about adam x lucifer or adam x lute, but i pose you an option that outclasses them both: adam x verosika. HEAR ME OUT both: - have a lot of animosity towards their exes - are passionate musicians/performers - are promiscuous - are very strong confident personalities - are hot like what more could you want in a ship honestly

She's.... hot. I give you that.

Personally not into demon bitches, but hey - they're a lot of alternate Me's out there - I'm sure one of them might get his dick wet with her~

-finger guns-

[ask-the-firstdick]

Comment something you want me to scribble draw with my lackluster abilities absolute genius level talent!

Should have something to do with the Hellaverse me or those unimportant NPCs in Heaven/Hell

[ask-the-firstdick]

Can I just be honest and tell you guys how much I hate Jesus?

I'm working my butt off to ensure those bastards end up in hell and get properly exterminated - and Mr. God's Favorite Son over here just dies for their sins?

Hello? Rude.

Consequences of their actions and shit.

(⁠ノ⁠￣⁠皿⁠￣⁠)⁠ノ⁠ ⁠⌒⁠=⁠=⁠ ⁠┫

[ask-the-firstdick]

What made you want to start an ask blog? Kickass btw!

Huh. To share some of my divine awesomeness, of course. Maybe I can guide some of you idiots away from hell before you die, now that I can't exterminate sinners anymore.. ù u

..and totally not because I feel... lonely

[ask-the-firstdick]

Really? No cocktail in my honor in this shit?

You're all bitches...

[ygoandchill]

no pen pressure sketch

[lucifer-morningstar-official]

Look what i draw 🥰

I draw you as a cute tiny duck❤️🦆

oh my goodness I'm beautiful

[ask-the-firstdick]

Excuse me? Why is that idiot getting adorable picture and i don't? Someone draw me as a majestic goose! ┻⁠━⁠┻⁠ ⁠ヘ⁠╰⁠(⁠ ⁠•̀⁠ε⁠•́⁠ ⁠╰⁠)

[ask-the-firstdick]

If I had a dollar for every King of Hell I fucked, I would have a dollar..

But nobody would give me that dollar, because no one is supposed to know...

[ask-the-firstdick]

What's better? ✨🍑

My– I mean, Adam's absolute unit of a gyatt (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

... whatever flat shit Lucifer has as a booty ಠಿ⁠ヮ⁠ಠ

Voting ended onJul 4

[ask-the-firstdick]

I'd be a way cuter cat than that cursed alastor thing...... Worship me.

[avery-av-raw]

Meow meow

@starfire-vega1 redraw for

[ask-the-firstdick]

Why exactly are those Norwegian soccer dudes chanting "Roo! Roo!" all day?

You don't want to summon that bitch, believe me....

[ask-the-firstdick]

Attention, low lifes and lovelies - my fucking generosity knows no bounds - If you babes and bitches have any questions I'm willing to answer and converse with you all..... --What do you mean, they're not my groupies? Kcch, of course they are!

Come forth and converse with the dick deity First Man ™

might even doodle you something if I like you û v u