The Shepard @ask-theshepard - Tumblr Blog

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

The fuck you mean no problem there?

I'm literally the hottest guy ever made- I'm like- THE guym every hot dude and dudette came from me. I'm no saying you SHOULD be into me I'm just saying you should appreciate where you come from.

You do see how that sounds right? Cake lady was right you gotta read first.

I do appreciate it!

I do read! I invented reading! I think.

I'm just saying, you being attracted to that fat fuck makes me look like a bad dad.

You're not! I just really like his beard and how nice he is.

You didn't invent reading, none of us could read until we got to Heaven

Fine, but I invented words!

Oh please, I could grow a better beard than that. And he's gat! Like, the gross fat, not the sexy fat.

Please let this go.....

Pft, fine...

...I just haven't seen you in a while... I fucked up with that whole, not your dad thing, huh?

No! I've just been busy.

You'll always be my dad. Maybe we can get together soon for dinner or something

E-Excuse me- *runs off crying*

???

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

The fuck you mean no problem there?

I'm literally the hottest guy ever made- I'm like- THE guym every hot dude and dudette came from me. I'm no saying you SHOULD be into me I'm just saying you should appreciate where you come from.

You do see how that sounds right? Cake lady was right you gotta read first.

I do appreciate it!

I do read! I invented reading! I think.

I'm just saying, you being attracted to that fat fuck makes me look like a bad dad.

You're not! I just really like his beard and how nice he is.

You didn't invent reading, none of us could read until we got to Heaven

Fine, but I invented words!

Oh please, I could grow a better beard than that. And he's gat! Like, the gross fat, not the sexy fat.

Please let this go.....

Pft, fine...

...I just haven't seen you in a while... I fucked up with that whole, not your dad thing, huh?

No! I've just been busy.

You'll always be my dad. Maybe we can get together soon for dinner or something

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

The fuck you mean no problem there?

I'm literally the hottest guy ever made- I'm like- THE guym every hot dude and dudette came from me. I'm no saying you SHOULD be into me I'm just saying you should appreciate where you come from.

You do see how that sounds right? Cake lady was right you gotta read first.

I do appreciate it!

I do read! I invented reading! I think.

I'm just saying, you being attracted to that fat fuck makes me look like a bad dad.

You're not! I just really like his beard and how nice he is.

You didn't invent reading, none of us could read until we got to Heaven

Fine, but I invented words!

Oh please, I could grow a better beard than that. And he's gat! Like, the gross fat, not the sexy fat.

Please let this go.....

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

The fuck you mean no problem there?

I'm literally the hottest guy ever made- I'm like- THE guym every hot dude and dudette came from me. I'm no saying you SHOULD be into me I'm just saying you should appreciate where you come from.

You do see how that sounds right? Cake lady was right you gotta read first.

I do appreciate it!

I do read! I invented reading! I think.

I'm just saying, you being attracted to that fat fuck makes me look like a bad dad.

You're not! I just really like his beard and how nice he is.

You didn't invent reading, none of us could read until we got to Heaven

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

The fuck you mean no problem there?

I'm literally the hottest guy ever made- I'm like- THE guym every hot dude and dudette came from me. I'm no saying you SHOULD be into me I'm just saying you should appreciate where you come from.

You do see how that sounds right? Cake lady was right you gotta read first.

I do appreciate it!

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

How am I making it weird?! That's what happens when people are into older men! It's scientifically proven that it's because your dad SUCKS COMPLETE ASS!

I did everything for you! I even blew water into your nose when you were 3 because you had bad hay feaver! Does that mean nothing to you?!

I'm crying! I don't know if you can tell- but I'm crying!

Kind of sounds like you want your son to have a hard on for you

That is definitely not what I want- it's a daddy issue thing! I know all about it! I'm literally the best dad! There shouldn't be any issues!

You know that's what you meant, and I know that that's what you meant, it just sounds like you want him horny for you and should think about how you worded that

That's not what I meant! And that's NOT what I want! You're the sick one for even suggesting that!

@ask-theshepard son. Abel. My darling child. I do NOT want you to get hard for me.

....... No problem there.

I need to see my therapist

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Am I really that bad that you... you... had to find a daddy?!

No! Don't make this weird.....

Do you hate Santa because Abel looks up to him more than he looks up to you? That’s funny.

That boy LOVES me, alright? He loves me more than he fucking loves Santa. And I'm cooler. And better.

He gets a hard on for that bearded fuck, and I don't know why.

@ask-theshepard the fuck, kid?

#hazbin hotel abel #ask #ask me anything #send asks #ask blog #ask me stuff #rp ask blog #rp blog #anon ask

It's not like that!! Oh geez.....

Hey baby boy! Been a while, I miss ya! You should come down sometime!

Annnnnyway, love ya, kid!

-love dad

I would love to! How about this weekend since it's a holiday?

@69dickmaster69

What do you have against falafels?

Nothing. What gave you the impression I had something against them?

Gee I wonder........

The question was whether waffles or pancakes were better. You answered with something not on the list of two available options.

You were either being stupid, or trying to be "quirky". Which one?

...... I was just trying to be funny.....

I see. In that case, I will say, I did chuckle. A little bit.

Really? 🥺

Yes. It was out of the blue and took me off guard.

This may be odd... but I'm glad you're doing well for yourself.

Thank you Cain, that means a lot.

You're doing well down there right? Dad said you had a farm.

A ranch, yes. Much can't grow down here, unfortunately. But things are between bad and good. Adequate? I'm not sure of the word.

Adequate works. I hear the Wrath ring is like a desert so that makes sense.

Yes, it was the only Ring I made it to before they closed off the others to sinners. A shame. But I understand.

Yeah, you're lucky in a sense Pride is a real Hell hole. No pun intended

Yes, Pride needs some work. But so does Wrath. It's not my say or concern, one person won't make a difference. Besides, keeping to myself is a good escape from the Hell factor.

Yeah I bet.

What can you grow?

Nothing much. Maybe a few plants for the animals when it's their season for growing.

So, my ranch is mainly for animals. Any that have been abused or were going to be out to slaughter.

Awww, that's great! You always did have a soft spot for animals. Do you remember that goat you saved and wouldn't let dad kill but insisted he be your pet?

I do... it took much convincing. Especially since food was always so scarce.

I don't think father killed another animal around me after that day.

No, that's when he built the little hut so we wouldn't see it happen.

I wonder if he struggled with it. I've seen him talk about the animals in Eden... that it was rare for him to be without by his side...

Those days are in the past. Food is nasty much a struggle as it once was.

Yeah, food is much easier to come by now. Which I'm glad about.

He never liked doing it, killing them for food and warmth. He's told me once that he cried about it in the beginning because they used to be his friends and they turned on him...... It was hard and it was something he went through alone. Mom didn't understand, she wasn't in Eden as long.

Yes, mother didn't concern herself with issues that didn't impact her out right. As long as father brought meat back, she didn't care what he did before hand.

Yeah....... It was sad you know? You'd think they would support each other.

It would have been the obvious thing to do... I felt like mother was detached from everything. Perhaps she wanted to fall, to be with Lucifer and Lilith.

I don't know, I just know she wasn't happy.

There was no changing it...

No....... But that's the past now.

Have you heard from her? Mom?

No, unfortunately. I thought she was in Heaven.

If she is I haven't seen her.......

Odd... perhaps, she looks different. Mayne, she doesn't recognise you.

Maybe...... I hope she's okay

I'm sure she is. She's always been strong.

I know she is, but just because you're strong doesn't mean you have to do everything alone

Hey Abel! Invite your dad to go bowling with you!

....... Not his version of bowling oh my goodness.....

I'll sit this one out. Apparently it's weird to do the real verson of bowling with someone you're related to.

Okay. I’ll bite. What’s the real version of bowling?

Uh getting fucked from behind and clapping balls with tne guy fucking you. Obviously.

Obviously! How could I be so stupid?

What if you guys bowled your partners on different lanes? You guys could high five over the median. That screams family bonding.

Please don't encourage him......

It takes work to keep a good family together, Abel. Sometimes you just have to bite the bowling ball and high five your dad because he loves you.

Ask Charlie.

wondering if Adam ever got banned from Heaven’s bowling alleys

Hey. You said he got masterbation banned, bowling alleys were only the natural next step. But what are the pins for, I wonder.

NOT THAT KIND OF BOWLING!! 😭

ANSWER THE QUESTION, ABEL. WHAT ARE THE PINS FOR.

@69dickmaster69 Help your son and tell me.

Someone help me!

I'll help you, son!

Hey Abel! Invite your dad to go bowling with you!

....... Not his version of bowling oh my goodness.....

I'll sit this one out. Apparently it's weird to do the real verson of bowling with someone you're related to.

Okay. I’ll bite. What’s the real version of bowling?

Uh getting fucked from behind and clapping balls with tne guy fucking you. Obviously.

Obviously! How could I be so stupid?

What if you guys bowled your partners on different lanes? You guys could high five over the median. That screams family bonding.

Please don't encourage him......

It takes work to keep a good family together, Abel. Sometimes you just have to bite the bowling ball and high five your dad because he loves you.

Ask Charlie.

wondering if Adam ever got banned from Heaven’s bowling alleys

Hey. You said he got masterbation banned, bowling alleys were only the natural next step. But what are the pins for, I wonder.

NOT THAT KIND OF BOWLING!! 😭

ANSWER THE QUESTION, ABEL. WHAT ARE THE PINS FOR.

@69dickmaster69 Help your son and tell me.

The pins? I think in the game Abel is playing you have to knock them down?

In the bowling I'm used to, you get them shoved up your ass.

Whoever taught you this needs to be put in the chastity room.....

It was one of the angels m. After human sports became popular up there, the angels made that one up.

You know that's not a real game and they just wanted to trick you into sleeping with them right?

Bud, they're angels. They're meant to be listened to.

Not when it's to take advantage of you dad.....

Just be glad it wasn’t your dad’s dad showing him how to play.

Though, now you have to look at some angels who were your dad’s friends and wonder… Did you bowl with my dad?

Hey Abel! Invite your dad to go bowling with you!

....... Not his version of bowling oh my goodness.....

I'll sit this one out. Apparently it's weird to do the real verson of bowling with someone you're related to.

Okay. I’ll bite. What’s the real version of bowling?

Uh getting fucked from behind and clapping balls with tne guy fucking you. Obviously.

Obviously! How could I be so stupid?

What if you guys bowled your partners on different lanes? You guys could high five over the median. That screams family bonding.

Please don't encourage him......

It takes work to keep a good family together, Abel. Sometimes you just have to bite the bowling ball and high five your dad because he loves you.

Ask Charlie.

wondering if Adam ever got banned from Heaven’s bowling alleys

Hey. You said he got masterbation banned, bowling alleys were only the natural next step. But what are the pins for, I wonder.

NOT THAT KIND OF BOWLING!! 😭

ANSWER THE QUESTION, ABEL. WHAT ARE THE PINS FOR.

@69dickmaster69 Help your son and tell me.

The pins? I think in the game Abel is playing you have to knock them down?

In the bowling I'm used to, you get them shoved up your ass.

Whoever taught you this needs to be put in the chastity room.....

It was one of the angels m. After human sports became popular up there, the angels made that one up.

You know that's not a real game and they just wanted to trick you into sleeping with them right?

Bud, they're angels. They're meant to be listened to.

Not when it's to take advantage of you dad.....

Hey Abel! Invite your dad to go bowling with you!

....... Not his version of bowling oh my goodness.....

I'll sit this one out. Apparently it's weird to do the real verson of bowling with someone you're related to.

Okay. I’ll bite. What’s the real version of bowling?

Uh getting fucked from behind and clapping balls with tne guy fucking you. Obviously.

Obviously! How could I be so stupid?

What if you guys bowled your partners on different lanes? You guys could high five over the median. That screams family bonding.

Please don't encourage him......

It takes work to keep a good family together, Abel. Sometimes you just have to bite the bowling ball and high five your dad because he loves you.

Ask Charlie.

wondering if Adam ever got banned from Heaven’s bowling alleys

Hey. You said he got masterbation banned, bowling alleys were only the natural next step. But what are the pins for, I wonder.

NOT THAT KIND OF BOWLING!! 😭

ANSWER THE QUESTION, ABEL. WHAT ARE THE PINS FOR.

@69dickmaster69 Help your son and tell me.

The pins? I think in the game Abel is playing you have to knock them down?

In the bowling I'm used to, you get them shoved up your ass.

Whoever taught you this needs to be put in the chastity room.....

It was one of the angels m. After human sports became popular up there, the angels made that one up.