╰ Synopsis You and Caleb stayed loyal to each other after casa amor, and thought everything was perfect until he told you he might see if there’s still something there with Kenzie. Now you’re left wondering if you were really his first choice.
tags/contains Caleb McDaniel x fem!reader. Angst, Caleb making Y/n feel insecure, no happy ending, jealousy (?), use of Y/n, flashbacks are in Italic font, 3.7k words, requested.
➺ from Sera, to you📨. I’m so happy Trinity and Bryce won👅
masterlist ᥫ᭡ please reblog this fic if you enjoyed it!
“Okay, Y/n.” Ariana’s voice cut through the silence of the villa, pulling you back to the moment. Your heart was already hammering against your ribs like it was trying to escape. “You’re next.” She said, offering you a warm smile.
You muttered a quiet “fuck” under your breath, the word slipping out before you could stop it. “Please stand up.” Ariana continued.
You rose slowly, smoothing down the silky fabric of your dark blue dress. Ariana tilted her head, smiling gently. “Before casa amor, you were coupled up with Caleb. And it really felt like the two of you were headed in a good direction. You chose each other at the letter recoupling, and things seemed solid between you since then.” She paused. “How have the last few days been for you?”
You let out a long sigh, trying to keep your voice steady even though your hands were trembling at your sides.
“The last few days have been.. good,” you started, trying to choose the right words. “But it’s definitely tested things. I spent the past couple of days getting to know all the new guys, and they were nice, but Caleb never left my mind. You know, I slept outside every single night, wondering what he was doing over there. And every conversation just brought me back to him..” you swallowed hard. “Then we got the mail and.. it didn’t feel great seeing whatever it was but I just hope what we had was strong enough for him to stay loyal. Even though he’s definitely got some explaining to do when he gets back.”
A ripple of laughter moved through the girls behind you. “Well,” Ariana said, leaning forward slightly, “it’s now time for you to make a choice. Do you want to stay loyal to Caleb and hope that he’s done the same.. or would you like to couple up with one of these new boys?”
The question hung in the air, and you could feel every eye on you. Part of you wondered if it would be easier to pick someone new, but you knew that wouldn’t be right for you. Your heart wouldn’t let you.
You shook your head, a small, determined smile tugging at your lips. “I’m going to stay loyal to Caleb. And just hope he’s smart.”
Ariana nodded, pleased with your answer. “Okay, Y/n. You’ve decided to stay loyal to Caleb..” She let the words settle before continuing. “But has Caleb decided to stay loyal to you?”
You shrugged, nerves wrecking you from the inside out. All you wanted was to see him. To feel his arms around you. But you knew that would only be if he’d chosen you.
“If he walks in with one of these girls from casa amor, you will be single and vulnerable,” Ariana explained. “But if he returns on his own, he’s all yours.”
You exhaled shakily. “Wish me luck” you said, quietly. You closed your eyes, silently praying. The villa grew so quiet you could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears.
Every second stretched painfully long. The footsteps grew closer and your eyes stayed squeezed shut, too scared to look. The girls behind you suddenly gasped, excitement exploding out of them.
You finally opened your eyes to see Caleb. And he was alone. Relief crashed over you so hard your knees nearly buckled. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “Thank God!” You muttered, a breathless laugh escaping as he got closer. He looked incredible, his eyes locked straight on you. And you couldn’t tear your gaze away either.
“Look!” Kayda pointed out excitedly. “Y’all are matching too!”
You glanced down; your dark blue dress and his shirt were almost the exact same shade. The realization made your smile widen as the rest of the islanders erupted into loud, happy awwws.
“Have you ever doubted him?” Zach called out, grinning ear to ear, clearly happy for the two of you.
You didn’t get a chance to answer before Ariana spoke again. “Welcome back to the villa!” She turned toward Caleb. “How are you doing, Caleb?”
He let out a big sigh, but it was full of relief, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m so great. I’m so happy to see her.. and more especially that she’s standing alone.” Caleb let out a soft laugh, as the islanders cheered for you two again.“I just missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.”
“Every day in there,” he continued, “I spent my time thinking about you. I missed having you next to me while I slept. And I really didn’t think it would be this hard..” He cut himself off, shaking his head, thinking of how ridiculous he probably sounded. “Oh, fuck- I’m just glad we’re back.”
Ariana smiled at the both of you, clearly happy with the two of you. “Since you both have decided to stay loyal.. you are still in a couple!” She gestured between you. “Caleb, you can go get your girl!”
The next morning started just like it used to. You felt his lips first, gentle kisses trailing across your shoulder, then up your neck. “Morning, beautiful.” Caleb whispered, his voice still full with sleep.
You smiled, stretching lazily as he continued his gentle assault of kisses. It felt so normal and so right. When he eventually dragged you out of bed and parted your ways, him going to the kitchen and you went upstairs to the dressing room. You couldn’t lie; you’d missed his breakfast almost as much as you’d missed him. The casa boys had nothing on his cooking.
Everything felt fine, actually better than fine. You two were laughing, touching, looking at each other like lovesick idiots as you carried your plates to soul ties for a morning chat. The sun was warm today, the villa peaceful after yesterdays madness, and you let yourself believe the worst was behind you.
Then Caleb sat down beside you, setting his plate down. “I was just thinking..” He paused, softly putting his palm on your leg. “Maybe since Corbin and Kenzie are done.. maybe I should see if there’s still something with Kenzie?”
The words hit you like a slap. You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. “What?”
He stayed quiet for a second, staring at the bed rather than at you. Everything had felt amazing between the two of you and now, just because Kenzie was suddenly single, even tho technically she was coupled up with Dylan, he wanted to explore her again?
Every worst case scenario raced through your mind at once. What if he’d only stayed loyal because he thought if Corbin came back with Parmida, Kenzie would be still single? What if the connection you thought was so strong was just convenient? Tears burned at the back of your eyes as you swallowed the hard lump rising in your throat.
“Yeah, I don’t know..” Caleb continued. “I just wanna see if there’s something.”
You stared at him, the breakfast you’d been enjoying now sitting like lead in your stomach. “Yeah.. okay. Whatever.”
It was all you could manage. What else were you supposed to say? Jump up and down with excitement at the idea of him chasing after Kenzie who was the same girl who always seemed to keep multiple guys orbiting her like one wasn’t enough?
You stood up abruptly, needing distance from him and whatever he was planning on doing. Your mind immediately went to Melanie. You just wanted to find her and talk before you fell apart in front of everyone.
“Y/n, come on. Are you mad?” Caleb got up quickly, following you.
He reached for your hand. You pulled it away, not trusting yourself to speak without crying. “I’m not happy either..” you said, voice tight, “but do whatever you want.”
You kept walking, heart cracking with every step. Part of you desperately hoped he’d reach for you again. That he’d stop you, and pull you back, tell you it was a stupid thought and he didn’t mean it. But he didn’t and you hated how much it hurt.
You found Melanie on one of the daybeds near the pool, sitting with Sincere and talking. The last thing you wanted to do was interrupt, but you couldn’t hold it together much longer. A few traitorous tears had already slipped down your cheeks on the walk over, and you quickly wiped at them with the back of your hand.
“Melanie?” you called out.
Both of them looked up. Melanie’s expression changed instantly from relaxed to concerned the second she saw your face. Sincere noticed too, “I’ll leave you two.” He said gently, giving Melanie’s shoulder a light squeeze before standing up. “Take care, yeah?”
You managed a “thank you” as he walked off. Then you sank down onto the daybed beside Melanie, shoulders slumped. “What happened?” she asked immediately, turning fully toward you.
The tears you’d been fighting finally spilled over. You wiped at them again, but more kept coming. “It’s Caleb..” you sobbed. “We were just sitting up there in soul ties, everything was fine, and then he told me that he wants to see if there’s still something between him and Kenzie. Just because her and Corbin aren’t coupled up anymore.”
Melanie’s eyes widened. “He said that?”
You nodded, your voice cracking. “Yes. After everything he just casually says that. I feel so stupid. I really thought he came back single for me. But clearly he didn’t. I’ve just been following him around like a lost puppy this whole time, waiting for him, thinking we had something real. And the second Kenzie becomes available again..” your breath hitched. “It feels like I was never really his first choice.”
Melanie didn’t hesitate to pull you in for a tight hug, one arm wrapping around your shoulders while her other hand gently wiped the tears from your cheeks.
“Y/n, you’re not stupid.” She said firmly, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “If anything, he’s the one that’s stupid. You should never let a man make you feel like that.”
You nodded against her shoulder even though you didn’t really believe her. The insecurity sat heavy in your chest, whispering things you shouldn’t be thinking of.
Melanie pulled back to look at you, keeping her hands on your arms. “Listen to me. You should just see what he does now. If he actually goes and pulls her, or if he doesn’t seem to care that you’re hurting, then don’t give him the time of day. You deserve someone who chooses you without thinking twice. Not someone who keeps one eye on the door just in case someone else walks through it.”
Her words settled over you, a small comfort even if the pain was still there. You pulled her in for another hug, and she gave it back just as strongly to let you know she was there for you.
Sincere walked off to find Caleb after leaving you and Melanie on the daybed. He wasn’t the type to get in the middle of drama, but seeing you cry like that, he didn’t like it.
He found Caleb in the kitchen, alone, washing dishes after his breakfast with you. “Hey.” Sincere said, leaning against the counter.
Caleb glanced up. “What’s up?”
Sincere didn’t waste time. “Did you know Y/n came crying to Melanie?”
Caleb’s hands stilled under the water. He looked up fully, brow furrowed. “She did?”
Sincere nodded, arms crossed. “Yeah. She was pretty upset, man.”
“Fuck..” Caleb muttered, shaking his head. He turned off the tap and dried his hands on a towel. “What’d you do?” Sincere asked, pulling out one of the stools at the counter and sitting down.
Caleb sighed heavily, leaning back against the sink. “I guess I messed up..”
“Clearly you did, if she’s crying?!” Sincere replied bluntly while trying not to sound too aggressive.
Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “We were sitting up in soul ties and I just told her that I might try to see if there’s still something with Kenzie. Since her and Corbin are done now.”
Sincere stared at him for a second, genuinely surprised. “Dude? You did mess up. Kenzie literally played you in your face last time and you’re trying to see if there’s something there?”
Caleb shrugged, not really having a good answer. He looked conflicted, eyes dropping to the counter. Sincere shook his head. “I mean, do whatever you want. It’s your life but just know Y/n really liked you. And Kenzie..” He paused, obviously not wanting to say anything. “Well, Kenzie is Kenzie.“
Later that night, the girls headed down together, and the guys were already waiting at the bottom of the stairs for their couples. Even though you didn’t want to, you still walked over to Caleb.
“You look beautiful!” He said softly, eyes tracing over your outfit.
“Thanks.” You replied quickly, offering a polite smile before stepping past him.
When the group gathered around the table where fresh drinks were waiting, you deliberately stood across from Caleb instead of beside him like you normally would. You made small talk with the others, and you could feel Caleb’s gaze on you, but you refused to meet it. He needed to feel even a fraction of how uncomfortable and unwanted his words had made you feel.
As some islanders started drifting off to different areas of the villa and others stayed chatting at the table, you stayed hyperaware of Caleb’s movements.
The second you saw him making his way over toward you, you stood up and slipped away, heading in no particular direction. “Y/n?” He called after you. He caught up quickly, falling into step beside you. “Do you wanna go talk?”
You kept walking, legs carrying you forward on pure emotion. “Don’t even..” you said, edged with frustration. Was it petty? Yes. But did he deserve to sit in the discomfort for a while after that? Also yes.
“But we have some things to talk about. Seriously..” he pressed, still keeping pace.
You finally slowed just enough to glance at him. “I mean.. we’ll talk at some point.”
Caleb stopped following you. You heard him mutter a quiet “Okay” before his footsteps retreated back toward the group.
You kept going until you reached the fire pit. It was quiet and empty. You sank down onto the cushioned seat, the weight of the day pressing on your shoulders. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Pulling out your phone, you started scrolling even though there was nothing to see.
You opened the camera app, flipping it to the front facing lens, just to look busy. You checked your makeup, dabbed at the corner of your eye where mascara might have smudged, then took a couple of random pictures of the fire and the dark villa backdrop, just anything to keep your hands occupied and your mind from spiraling too hard.
You sat there alone at the fire pit for what felt like fifteen minutes, you tried to stay distracted with your phone, but eventually your eyes wandered.
And you actually hated the timing because that’s when you saw Caleb pulling Kenzie for a chat. Your gaze followed them as they walked together, heading toward one of the more private corners of the villa where the others couldn’t easily see or hear. Kenzie laughed at something he said, and Caleb pointed at whatever they were looking at.
It was surely a sight for sore eyes.
You stood up quickly, tears already filling your eyes again. You dabbed at your cheeks as gently as possible, trying not to ruin your makeup, but it was a losing battle. Blinking rapidly, you made your way upstairs to the dressing room, praying no one would notice. Luckily, the others were still scattered around the villa, and you slipped inside unnoticed.
The second the door clicked shut behind you, you sank down in front of the big mirror, shoulders shaking as quiet sobs slipped out. You felt sick, no matter how hard you tried to stop, the tears kept flowing, hot and relentless.
After a few minutes, you forced yourself up and grabbed a paper towel from the counter, gently wiping underneath your eyes and cheeks.
You pulled out your phone again, fingers moving almost on autopilot. You opened your camera roll and went straight to the album of photos with Caleb.
The first picture you found in the folder was right after the letter recoupling. The two letters sat open in your lap in the photo, the paper slightly wrinkled. You zoomed in on Caleb’s letter. In your mind, you slipped back to that day.
You had opened your mailbox with a nervous smile not knowing if you’ll receive a letter back, your heart was racing the moment you saw the letter. You read it out loud in front of everyone:
“Dear Y/n,
From the moment I walked into this villa, there was just something about you that pulled me in. It wasn’t just how beautiful you are, although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice that first, but it was the way you carry yourself. The way you make everyone around you feel comfortable, the way you laugh without holding back, and the way your smile somehow manages to make even the hardest days feel a little lighter.
You’ve got the kindest heart I’ve ever come across. You’re so caring, so patient, and you always seem to know exactly what to say without even trying. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, you’re the first person I want to be around. Somehow, just being next to you makes everything feel okay again.
One thing I admire most about you is how openly you communicate. You’ve never made me feel judged for expressing how I feel. Instead, you’ve shown me that honesty and openness can actually bring two people closer together. You’ve created a space where I feel safe enough to be completely myself, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted.
You’ve become my best friend in here, but somehow you also became so much more than that. Every day I find myself falling for you a little harder, and I honestly can’t imagine doing this experience with anyone else by my side.
Sincerely, Caleb.”
You finished reading the words on your screen, the memory fading as the dressing room came back into focus. You didn’t understand how he could write something so beautiful, and then turn around and say he wanted to see if there was still something with Kenzie.
All those sweet words, had they just been temporary? Easy to say when things were good, but apparently easy to forget the second another option appeared. He had such a sweet way with words, a way of making you feel truly seen. But now you knew he could hurt you just as deeply.
You swiped to the next picture, Caleb was holding you bridal style, both of you smiling like idiots while someone snapped the photo.
You had come downstairs with the girls that night, as usual the guys waited at the bottom of the stairs. The second you spotted Caleb, you practically threw yourself at him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled you in by the waist, lifting you slightly off the ground in a tight hug. He looked so good; he was wearing a black jean jacket, black jeans, and cowboy boots.
You glanced down at your own outfit and laughed. “Wait, we’re matching!”
You were wearing a black laced dress with white cowboy boots, the perfect complement to his look. Caleb grinned, clearly pleased. “We really are.”
Later, you sat in his lap at the table while a few other islanders chatted about random things. Kayda suddenly spoke up. “Hold on, Y/n, let me take a picture of you two.” She said, already standing up with a big smile. “Y’all look so cute right now.”
You and Caleb both agreed instantly. He handed you his black cowboy hat, carefully placing it on your head before standing up with you. In one smooth motion, he scooped you up bridal style. You squealed in surprise, laughing as you right arm went around his neck for balance, your left arm thrown in the air, and your white boots dangled in the air.
“Smile!” Kayda called, holding up your phone. Caleb held you securely, both of you beaming at the camera.
You continued scrolling through the pictures, your tears slowly drying as you moved from one memory to the next. The more you looked, the more the ache disappeared. The heavy sobs gave way to softer, bittersweet smiles.
There you were after a silly challenge together, covered in paint and laughing. Another photo showed you two cuddling on the daybeds, his arm around you while you rested your head on his shoulder. Picture after picture reminded you how good it had been.
For a little while, you let yourself cherish those moments instead of drowning in the pain. You had shared something special, even if it was starting to feel one sided now. And at the end of the day, if Caleb wanted to get to know Kenzie more, there was nothing you could do about it.
You couldn’t force him to choose you. You could only decide how you carried yourself through it.
The door to the dressing room opened suddenly. You looked over your shoulder and saw Melanie and Aniya walking in.
“Y/n?” Melanie said softly, concern clear in her voice as they both headed straight toward you.
They sat down on either side of you, their eyes immediately landed on your phone, the screen still glowing with the photo of you and Caleb. “Oh, baby..” Melanie murmured.
Without another word, they both pulled you into a tight group hug. Aniya rubbed your back while Melanie rested her head against yours. You let yourself lean into them, the warmth of their support easing some of the tightness.
“We saw you disappear upstairs..” Melanie said gently after a moment. “And we saw Caleb pulling Kenzie.. we figured it wasn’t good.”
You nodded against them. “You don’t deserve to be sitting here crying alone.” Aniya added, pulling back to look at you. “We’ve got you. Whether he comes to his senses or not.”
I specifically chose this name for this fic, because I imagine the producers putting this song over this scene😔😭
no warnings! trinity and reader are best friends <3 requested! trinity x platonic!reader caleb and reader are coupled.
masterlist , taglist
———————————
You and Trinity were literally inseparable. Whenever one was, the other was there too. You guys probably spent more time talking to each other than your own couple. This caused Bryce and Caleb to be very close as well, given their ladies were always together meant they were too.
You and Trinity had each others backs too, your feelings were always justified by her, she always defended and she always took care of you. You didn’t think walking into the villa you’d find your new favorite human being but you did. Everyone in the villa knew it was you and Trinity and that’s how it’d be forever. There was no way anyone was coming between you two.
You and Trinity laid on the daybeds, shades on and fully stretched out relaxing. Caleb looked for you for a solid minute just to find you where he expected - with Trinity. “What’s happening over here?” He asks. You stretch your arms out to accept him beside you “We’re spilling the tea.” Trinity replies, “Top secret.” You add. Caleb comes up beside you, head rested on your chest as you comb through his silky hair.
Bryce eventually joins in too, laying beside Trinity as the two of you continue to gossip, they stayed there like props in the story but were in awe of what they got so lucky with. They’d pitch into the conversation every now and then, if you and Trinity had a solid opinion on someone they’d make it known they stood behind you on it.
Later that night you’d disappeared with Trinity again, they two of you laid in soul ties passed out. The conversation had just ended at some point, both of your eyelids heavy as you laid on the comfy pillows. As everyone went to get ready for bed Caleb and Bryce noticed you and Trinity were both missing, usually you’d come out of hiding with everyone else but today there was nothing but silence.
They searched the villa for you before finding the both of you cuddled up peacefully. Caleb comes up the side of you carefully, “Hey sleepy.” He says, rubbing your hair. You squirm lightly at the sudden wake up but can’t fully get out of your slumber. Bryce also tried to wake Trinity but she didn’t budge either. They both looked at each other with a smile on their faces before picking you up and walking you into the bedroom with everyone else. They tucked you in nicely, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before crawling into bed beside you.
╰ Synopsis You and Caleb stayed loyal to each other after casa amor, and thought everything was perfect until he told you he might see if there’s still something there with Kenzie. Now you’re left wondering if you were really his first choice.
tags/contains Caleb McDaniel x fem!reader. Angst, Caleb making Y/n feel insecure, no happy ending, jealousy (?), use of Y/n, flashbacks are in Italic font, 3.7k words, requested.
➺ from Sera, to you📨. I’m so happy Trinity and Bryce won👅
masterlist ᥫ᭡ please reblog this fic if you enjoyed it!
“Okay, Y/n.” Ariana’s voice cut through the silence of the villa, pulling you back to the moment. Your heart was already hammering against your ribs like it was trying to escape. “You’re next.” She said, offering you a warm smile.
You muttered a quiet “fuck” under your breath, the word slipping out before you could stop it. “Please stand up.” Ariana continued.
You rose slowly, smoothing down the silky fabric of your dark blue dress. Ariana tilted her head, smiling gently. “Before casa amor, you were coupled up with Caleb. And it really felt like the two of you were headed in a good direction. You chose each other at the letter recoupling, and things seemed solid between you since then.” She paused. “How have the last few days been for you?”
You let out a long sigh, trying to keep your voice steady even though your hands were trembling at your sides.
“The last few days have been.. good,” you started, trying to choose the right words. “But it’s definitely tested things. I spent the past couple of days getting to know all the new guys, and they were nice, but Caleb never left my mind. You know, I slept outside every single night, wondering what he was doing over there. And every conversation just brought me back to him..” you swallowed hard. “Then we got the mail and.. it didn’t feel great seeing whatever it was but I just hope what we had was strong enough for him to stay loyal. Even though he’s definitely got some explaining to do when he gets back.”
A ripple of laughter moved through the girls behind you. “Well,” Ariana said, leaning forward slightly, “it’s now time for you to make a choice. Do you want to stay loyal to Caleb and hope that he’s done the same.. or would you like to couple up with one of these new boys?”
The question hung in the air, and you could feel every eye on you. Part of you wondered if it would be easier to pick someone new, but you knew that wouldn’t be right for you. Your heart wouldn’t let you.
You shook your head, a small, determined smile tugging at your lips. “I’m going to stay loyal to Caleb. And just hope he’s smart.”
Ariana nodded, pleased with your answer. “Okay, Y/n. You’ve decided to stay loyal to Caleb..” She let the words settle before continuing. “But has Caleb decided to stay loyal to you?”
You shrugged, nerves wrecking you from the inside out. All you wanted was to see him. To feel his arms around you. But you knew that would only be if he’d chosen you.
“If he walks in with one of these girls from casa amor, you will be single and vulnerable,” Ariana explained. “But if he returns on his own, he’s all yours.”
You exhaled shakily. “Wish me luck” you said, quietly. You closed your eyes, silently praying. The villa grew so quiet you could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears.
Every second stretched painfully long. The footsteps grew closer and your eyes stayed squeezed shut, too scared to look. The girls behind you suddenly gasped, excitement exploding out of them.
You finally opened your eyes to see Caleb. And he was alone. Relief crashed over you so hard your knees nearly buckled. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “Thank God!” You muttered, a breathless laugh escaping as he got closer. He looked incredible, his eyes locked straight on you. And you couldn’t tear your gaze away either.
“Look!” Kayda pointed out excitedly. “Y’all are matching too!”
You glanced down; your dark blue dress and his shirt were almost the exact same shade. The realization made your smile widen as the rest of the islanders erupted into loud, happy awwws.
“Have you ever doubted him?” Zach called out, grinning ear to ear, clearly happy for the two of you.
You didn’t get a chance to answer before Ariana spoke again. “Welcome back to the villa!” She turned toward Caleb. “How are you doing, Caleb?”
He let out a big sigh, but it was full of relief, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m so great. I’m so happy to see her.. and more especially that she’s standing alone.” Caleb let out a soft laugh, as the islanders cheered for you two again.“I just missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.”
“Every day in there,” he continued, “I spent my time thinking about you. I missed having you next to me while I slept. And I really didn’t think it would be this hard..” He cut himself off, shaking his head, thinking of how ridiculous he probably sounded. “Oh, fuck- I’m just glad we’re back.”
Ariana smiled at the both of you, clearly happy with the two of you. “Since you both have decided to stay loyal.. you are still in a couple!” She gestured between you. “Caleb, you can go get your girl!”
The next morning started just like it used to. You felt his lips first, gentle kisses trailing across your shoulder, then up your neck. “Morning, beautiful.” Caleb whispered, his voice still full with sleep.
You smiled, stretching lazily as he continued his gentle assault of kisses. It felt so normal and so right. When he eventually dragged you out of bed and parted your ways, him going to the kitchen and you went upstairs to the dressing room. You couldn’t lie; you’d missed his breakfast almost as much as you’d missed him. The casa boys had nothing on his cooking.
Everything felt fine, actually better than fine. You two were laughing, touching, looking at each other like lovesick idiots as you carried your plates to soul ties for a morning chat. The sun was warm today, the villa peaceful after yesterdays madness, and you let yourself believe the worst was behind you.
Then Caleb sat down beside you, setting his plate down. “I was just thinking..” He paused, softly putting his palm on your leg. “Maybe since Corbin and Kenzie are done.. maybe I should see if there’s still something with Kenzie?”
The words hit you like a slap. You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. “What?”
He stayed quiet for a second, staring at the bed rather than at you. Everything had felt amazing between the two of you and now, just because Kenzie was suddenly single, even tho technically she was coupled up with Dylan, he wanted to explore her again?
Every worst case scenario raced through your mind at once. What if he’d only stayed loyal because he thought if Corbin came back with Parmida, Kenzie would be still single? What if the connection you thought was so strong was just convenient? Tears burned at the back of your eyes as you swallowed the hard lump rising in your throat.
“Yeah, I don’t know..” Caleb continued. “I just wanna see if there’s something.”
You stared at him, the breakfast you’d been enjoying now sitting like lead in your stomach. “Yeah.. okay. Whatever.”
It was all you could manage. What else were you supposed to say? Jump up and down with excitement at the idea of him chasing after Kenzie who was the same girl who always seemed to keep multiple guys orbiting her like one wasn’t enough?
You stood up abruptly, needing distance from him and whatever he was planning on doing. Your mind immediately went to Melanie. You just wanted to find her and talk before you fell apart in front of everyone.
“Y/n, come on. Are you mad?” Caleb got up quickly, following you.
He reached for your hand. You pulled it away, not trusting yourself to speak without crying. “I’m not happy either..” you said, voice tight, “but do whatever you want.”
You kept walking, heart cracking with every step. Part of you desperately hoped he’d reach for you again. That he’d stop you, and pull you back, tell you it was a stupid thought and he didn’t mean it. But he didn’t and you hated how much it hurt.
You found Melanie on one of the daybeds near the pool, sitting with Sincere and talking. The last thing you wanted to do was interrupt, but you couldn’t hold it together much longer. A few traitorous tears had already slipped down your cheeks on the walk over, and you quickly wiped at them with the back of your hand.
“Melanie?” you called out.
Both of them looked up. Melanie’s expression changed instantly from relaxed to concerned the second she saw your face. Sincere noticed too, “I’ll leave you two.” He said gently, giving Melanie’s shoulder a light squeeze before standing up. “Take care, yeah?”
You managed a “thank you” as he walked off. Then you sank down onto the daybed beside Melanie, shoulders slumped. “What happened?” she asked immediately, turning fully toward you.
The tears you’d been fighting finally spilled over. You wiped at them again, but more kept coming. “It’s Caleb..” you sobbed. “We were just sitting up there in soul ties, everything was fine, and then he told me that he wants to see if there’s still something between him and Kenzie. Just because her and Corbin aren’t coupled up anymore.”
Melanie’s eyes widened. “He said that?”
You nodded, your voice cracking. “Yes. After everything he just casually says that. I feel so stupid. I really thought he came back single for me. But clearly he didn’t. I’ve just been following him around like a lost puppy this whole time, waiting for him, thinking we had something real. And the second Kenzie becomes available again..” your breath hitched. “It feels like I was never really his first choice.”
Melanie didn’t hesitate to pull you in for a tight hug, one arm wrapping around your shoulders while her other hand gently wiped the tears from your cheeks.
“Y/n, you’re not stupid.” She said firmly, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “If anything, he’s the one that’s stupid. You should never let a man make you feel like that.”
You nodded against her shoulder even though you didn’t really believe her. The insecurity sat heavy in your chest, whispering things you shouldn’t be thinking of.
Melanie pulled back to look at you, keeping her hands on your arms. “Listen to me. You should just see what he does now. If he actually goes and pulls her, or if he doesn’t seem to care that you’re hurting, then don’t give him the time of day. You deserve someone who chooses you without thinking twice. Not someone who keeps one eye on the door just in case someone else walks through it.”
Her words settled over you, a small comfort even if the pain was still there. You pulled her in for another hug, and she gave it back just as strongly to let you know she was there for you.
Sincere walked off to find Caleb after leaving you and Melanie on the daybed. He wasn’t the type to get in the middle of drama, but seeing you cry like that, he didn’t like it.
He found Caleb in the kitchen, alone, washing dishes after his breakfast with you. “Hey.” Sincere said, leaning against the counter.
Caleb glanced up. “What’s up?”
Sincere didn’t waste time. “Did you know Y/n came crying to Melanie?”
Caleb’s hands stilled under the water. He looked up fully, brow furrowed. “She did?”
Sincere nodded, arms crossed. “Yeah. She was pretty upset, man.”
“Fuck..” Caleb muttered, shaking his head. He turned off the tap and dried his hands on a towel. “What’d you do?” Sincere asked, pulling out one of the stools at the counter and sitting down.
Caleb sighed heavily, leaning back against the sink. “I guess I messed up..”
“Clearly you did, if she’s crying?!” Sincere replied bluntly while trying not to sound too aggressive.
Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “We were sitting up in soul ties and I just told her that I might try to see if there’s still something with Kenzie. Since her and Corbin are done now.”
Sincere stared at him for a second, genuinely surprised. “Dude? You did mess up. Kenzie literally played you in your face last time and you’re trying to see if there’s something there?”
Caleb shrugged, not really having a good answer. He looked conflicted, eyes dropping to the counter. Sincere shook his head. “I mean, do whatever you want. It’s your life but just know Y/n really liked you. And Kenzie..” He paused, obviously not wanting to say anything. “Well, Kenzie is Kenzie.“
Later that night, the girls headed down together, and the guys were already waiting at the bottom of the stairs for their couples. Even though you didn’t want to, you still walked over to Caleb.
“You look beautiful!” He said softly, eyes tracing over your outfit.
“Thanks.” You replied quickly, offering a polite smile before stepping past him.
When the group gathered around the table where fresh drinks were waiting, you deliberately stood across from Caleb instead of beside him like you normally would. You made small talk with the others, and you could feel Caleb’s gaze on you, but you refused to meet it. He needed to feel even a fraction of how uncomfortable and unwanted his words had made you feel.
As some islanders started drifting off to different areas of the villa and others stayed chatting at the table, you stayed hyperaware of Caleb’s movements.
The second you saw him making his way over toward you, you stood up and slipped away, heading in no particular direction. “Y/n?” He called after you. He caught up quickly, falling into step beside you. “Do you wanna go talk?”
You kept walking, legs carrying you forward on pure emotion. “Don’t even..” you said, edged with frustration. Was it petty? Yes. But did he deserve to sit in the discomfort for a while after that? Also yes.
“But we have some things to talk about. Seriously..” he pressed, still keeping pace.
You finally slowed just enough to glance at him. “I mean.. we’ll talk at some point.”
Caleb stopped following you. You heard him mutter a quiet “Okay” before his footsteps retreated back toward the group.
You kept going until you reached the fire pit. It was quiet and empty. You sank down onto the cushioned seat, the weight of the day pressing on your shoulders. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Pulling out your phone, you started scrolling even though there was nothing to see.
You opened the camera app, flipping it to the front facing lens, just to look busy. You checked your makeup, dabbed at the corner of your eye where mascara might have smudged, then took a couple of random pictures of the fire and the dark villa backdrop, just anything to keep your hands occupied and your mind from spiraling too hard.
You sat there alone at the fire pit for what felt like fifteen minutes, you tried to stay distracted with your phone, but eventually your eyes wandered.
And you actually hated the timing because that’s when you saw Caleb pulling Kenzie for a chat. Your gaze followed them as they walked together, heading toward one of the more private corners of the villa where the others couldn’t easily see or hear. Kenzie laughed at something he said, and Caleb pointed at whatever they were looking at.
It was surely a sight for sore eyes.
You stood up quickly, tears already filling your eyes again. You dabbed at your cheeks as gently as possible, trying not to ruin your makeup, but it was a losing battle. Blinking rapidly, you made your way upstairs to the dressing room, praying no one would notice. Luckily, the others were still scattered around the villa, and you slipped inside unnoticed.
The second the door clicked shut behind you, you sank down in front of the big mirror, shoulders shaking as quiet sobs slipped out. You felt sick, no matter how hard you tried to stop, the tears kept flowing, hot and relentless.
After a few minutes, you forced yourself up and grabbed a paper towel from the counter, gently wiping underneath your eyes and cheeks.
You pulled out your phone again, fingers moving almost on autopilot. You opened your camera roll and went straight to the album of photos with Caleb.
The first picture you found in the folder was right after the letter recoupling. The two letters sat open in your lap in the photo, the paper slightly wrinkled. You zoomed in on Caleb’s letter. In your mind, you slipped back to that day.
You had opened your mailbox with a nervous smile not knowing if you’ll receive a letter back, your heart was racing the moment you saw the letter. You read it out loud in front of everyone:
“Dear Y/n,
From the moment I walked into this villa, there was just something about you that pulled me in. It wasn’t just how beautiful you are, although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice that first, but it was the way you carry yourself. The way you make everyone around you feel comfortable, the way you laugh without holding back, and the way your smile somehow manages to make even the hardest days feel a little lighter.
You’ve got the kindest heart I’ve ever come across. You’re so caring, so patient, and you always seem to know exactly what to say without even trying. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, you’re the first person I want to be around. Somehow, just being next to you makes everything feel okay again.
One thing I admire most about you is how openly you communicate. You’ve never made me feel judged for expressing how I feel. Instead, you’ve shown me that honesty and openness can actually bring two people closer together. You’ve created a space where I feel safe enough to be completely myself, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted.
You’ve become my best friend in here, but somehow you also became so much more than that. Every day I find myself falling for you a little harder, and I honestly can’t imagine doing this experience with anyone else by my side.
Sincerely, Caleb.”
You finished reading the words on your screen, the memory fading as the dressing room came back into focus. You didn’t understand how he could write something so beautiful, and then turn around and say he wanted to see if there was still something with Kenzie.
All those sweet words, had they just been temporary? Easy to say when things were good, but apparently easy to forget the second another option appeared. He had such a sweet way with words, a way of making you feel truly seen. But now you knew he could hurt you just as deeply.
You swiped to the next picture, Caleb was holding you bridal style, both of you smiling like idiots while someone snapped the photo.
You had come downstairs with the girls that night, as usual the guys waited at the bottom of the stairs. The second you spotted Caleb, you practically threw yourself at him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled you in by the waist, lifting you slightly off the ground in a tight hug. He looked so good; he was wearing a black jean jacket, black jeans, and cowboy boots.
You glanced down at your own outfit and laughed. “Wait, we’re matching!”
You were wearing a black laced dress with white cowboy boots, the perfect complement to his look. Caleb grinned, clearly pleased. “We really are.”
Later, you sat in his lap at the table while a few other islanders chatted about random things. Kayda suddenly spoke up. “Hold on, Y/n, let me take a picture of you two.” She said, already standing up with a big smile. “Y’all look so cute right now.”
You and Caleb both agreed instantly. He handed you his black cowboy hat, carefully placing it on your head before standing up with you. In one smooth motion, he scooped you up bridal style. You squealed in surprise, laughing as you right arm went around his neck for balance, your left arm thrown in the air, and your white boots dangled in the air.
“Smile!” Kayda called, holding up your phone. Caleb held you securely, both of you beaming at the camera.
You continued scrolling through the pictures, your tears slowly drying as you moved from one memory to the next. The more you looked, the more the ache disappeared. The heavy sobs gave way to softer, bittersweet smiles.
There you were after a silly challenge together, covered in paint and laughing. Another photo showed you two cuddling on the daybeds, his arm around you while you rested your head on his shoulder. Picture after picture reminded you how good it had been.
For a little while, you let yourself cherish those moments instead of drowning in the pain. You had shared something special, even if it was starting to feel one sided now. And at the end of the day, if Caleb wanted to get to know Kenzie more, there was nothing you could do about it.
You couldn’t force him to choose you. You could only decide how you carried yourself through it.
The door to the dressing room opened suddenly. You looked over your shoulder and saw Melanie and Aniya walking in.
“Y/n?” Melanie said softly, concern clear in her voice as they both headed straight toward you.
They sat down on either side of you, their eyes immediately landed on your phone, the screen still glowing with the photo of you and Caleb. “Oh, baby..” Melanie murmured.
Without another word, they both pulled you into a tight group hug. Aniya rubbed your back while Melanie rested her head against yours. You let yourself lean into them, the warmth of their support easing some of the tightness.
“We saw you disappear upstairs..” Melanie said gently after a moment. “And we saw Caleb pulling Kenzie.. we figured it wasn’t good.”
You nodded against them. “You don’t deserve to be sitting here crying alone.” Aniya added, pulling back to look at you. “We’ve got you. Whether he comes to his senses or not.”
I specifically chose this name for this fic, because I imagine the producers putting this song over this scene😔😭
a/n: i’m sorry if this is short! requested by anons
masterlist , taglist
Today was a rough day in the villa without a doubt.
As you were originally coupled up with Corbin, you had now been voted to be with Caleb. Which in ways, was what you wanted. Corbin was around asking girls to kiss him like it was his day job and you hated that.
Caleb on the other hand was a gentleman who knew exactly what he wanted.
You were happy, but Corbin obviously wasn't.
Once everyone branched off from the firepit Corbin pulled you four a chat, on the daybed where people could see. "So, how are you feeling?" he asks. You didn't fully know how you were feeling, you knew in your heart you were happy with Caleb. He was just overall a better fit for you. But you couldn't help but wonder about your connection with Corbin.
He was great at first, you guys had great conversations, you laughed a lot and the kisses were great. But that was quickly interrupted by Kayda and Melanie letting you know he had asked them both for a kiss.
It just threw you off, sure this was a place to explore connections but right after kissing you he asked Kayda and Melanie? It just didn't see morally right.
"Um, I'm feeling okay. I wish it didn't happen so soon. I feel terrible." You answer. "No, don't feel bad, maybe America is seeing something we aren't."
That was true, maybe they saw a way he talked to a girl or just thought that you and Caleb were more fitting. And he was right, you shouldn't feel bad this was out of your control, you did what you were supposed to.
"So, was there like something with Caleb you didn't tell me about?" He asks. "What, no, I have no reason not to tell you stuff. I told you everything about our conversation." you answer.
"It's just fishy, you'd think if you only had that one conversation with him wouldn't we still be stronger?" He questions.
Why was he accusing you of lying, if anything, America coupled the two of you up because Corbin took his sweet time to tell you about the kisses he had. You felt the whole vibe change right away, what he said was so off-putting.
"How is it fishy? I told you literally everything that happened start to finish."
"I'm just saying it seems fishy, does it not seem that way to you at all?" He asks, his tone now sharp and piercing you right in the chest. "What seems fishy is you not only asking to kiss but kissing other girls and then waiting until I come to you to tell me. That's fucking fishy." You snap.
His eyebrows furrow at your words, seemingly shocked you even said that to him. "We weren't even coupled up for 24 hours." He argues. Which was complete bullshit, if he's coupled up with a girl he should respect them enough to tell them he kissed other girls. "It's basic respect Corbin, you're accusing me of lying and you're the one who was lying the whole fucking time." you bark. Both of your voices begin to raise.
People begin looking your way, but the two of you were too busy bickering to even notice.
"I was just asking, you getting defensive makes it seem like you were lying." he says.
You stand up in front of him, Caleb sees it and begins to walk over to make sure you're okay. "Why would I lie to you?" You ask.
"I don't know maybe you wanted to play two at once, I wouldn't be surprised." he states. Caleb then steps in front of you, hand on your waist. "That's not how you talk to a woman. Stay the fuck away from her." Caleb says, walking you away.
Luckily, the conversation ended just in time for everyone to begin getting ready for bed, while getting ready Caleb brought you a bit of your favorite villa snack to have before bed, he pressed a kiss on your cheek then left you to finish getting ready.
You walk into the bedroom, ready to crawl into bed with him. Unfortunately, you two were placed right next to Corbin.
The lights eventually fade, conversations die and the only sound is the sound of Gabe and Beatriz mouth fucking next to you.
You laid against Calebs warm skin, he brings himself to whisper in your ear "How can I make you feel good?" He asks, his breath warm against your ear. He begins placing soft wet kisses down your neck, "Hmm" You hum.
Your heart begins to pick up at the contact, fluttery feeling running through your veins. "Tell me, you deserve to be pleased the right way." His words turn you on right away, your legs press flush together.
His hand rubs across your waist as he continues kissing all over your neck, "Touch me please" you say faintly, as if you're already losing your breath.
He didn't waste a second after hearing what you said, his hand makes it's way down your laced undies and between your slick folds. He teases at your clit for a minute, making sure you're fully ready for him. "I'm so lucky this is all for me. I'm gonna make you feel good, just like you deserve." he says against your skin.
He then slowly inserts one finger, making sure you're adjusting okay without making too much noise. Once he's sure you're good he pushes another finger in and lightly begins pumping in and out of you.
Your walls flutter against his fingers, he catches your lips for a kiss, keeping you quiet. The kiss is sloppy as you're unable to full compose yourself. "You're doing so good." He praises against your lips.
You felt like you were about to crumble as his pace picks up, he hovers just overtop of you, one hand in his soft blonde hair lightly pulling at it, the other hand on his bicep, leaving crescent shaped marks from your nails.
"Caleb - I'm gonna cum." You say in a whisper. "Atta girl, let me feel it." He replies.
His pace picks up as his fingers curve inside of you, hitting a certain spot each time. Your body tenses up fully, as your release falls on his fingers.
He falls beside you, adjusting you onto his chest and stoking your hair.
You both stayed pretty quiet, but the noises you were making should show Corbin how to treat a woman.
╰ Synopsis You loved ending long villa days wrapped in Caleb’s arms. After sweet kisses turned passionate, you two found yourselves somewhere for the first time in the villa. The next morning the girls tease you about what happened last night.
tags/contains Caleb McDaniel x fem!reader. Fluff, smut, 18+, NSFW, fingering, lots of kissing, teasing, porn without plot(?), use of y/n, pet names used, 1.6k words, requested 2.
➺ from Sera, to you📨. I already miss him on my screen 😭😔 also the next fic I might do from requests is angst, bec I’m hungry for some angst.
masterlist ᥫ᭡ please reblog this fic if you enjoyed it!
If there was one thing you loved after a long day in the villa, it was getting into bed with Caleb. In fact, it was easily your favorite part of every single day.
No matter how much fun you had, nothing ever compared to the moment the lights went off. There was just something comforting about ending the day together.
Sometimes you’d lie there talking for what felt like hours, replaying everything that had happened that day until one of you drifted off. Other nights, a sleepy smile, fingers intertwined beneath the duvet, gentle forehead kisses, or a kiss goodnight were enough to remind you how lucky you were.
Tonight, you took your time getting ready for bed. The dressing room was buzzing with the girls’ chatter as you sat in front of your mirror, carefully curling your lashes.
You slipped into your soft pink and white striped top paired with the matching shorts. With one last glance in the mirror, you told the girls you’re heading to the bedroom and padded barefoot to the shared bedroom.
A few of the guys were lounging against the headboards and talking while they waited for their own girls. Caleb was among them, arms crossed casually over his chest, smile on his face as he listened to one of the boys.
You climbed into your shared bed, pulling the covers over your legs, and Caleb turned fully toward you when he noticed you. “Finally. Took you long enough.” He teased.
You laughed quietly, settling beside him. “Sorry, I wasn’t rushing tonight.”
When the lights finally turned off, you two talked in whispers for the next half hour. You replayed moments from today, laughing quietly whenever Caleb said something funny. Eventually, his hand found yours under the covers, thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. “You know, I think I feel really close to you. Even closer than I’ve felt with anyone in here. I don’t think it feels right to explore anyone else anymore..”
Your heart fluttered. You moved closer, resting your forearms over his chest, as you rested your chin on your arms. You draped one leg comfortably over his, tangling together under the sheets. “I feel the same.” You whispered back, smiling into the dark. “I don’t want anyone else either.”
Caleb’s arm wrapped around your waist, as he gently pulled you higher up against his body. Your forearms pressed firmer into his chest for balance, and suddenly his lips met yours in the dark. You smiled into the kiss, warmth blooming in your chest, and you felt the familiar curve of his mouth.
He tilted his head slightly, capturing your lips again with more intent. His free hand continued tracing lazy patterns along your back, fingertips slipping just beneath the hem of your top. The cool touch of his skin against your warm back made you yelp softly into his mouth.
Caleb chuckled lowly, the sound vibrating through his chest. “Sorry, baby.” He whispered against your lips, though he didn’t sound sorry at all. He pulled you flush right against him, eliminating any space between your bodies, his hand now splayed warmly across your lower back under the fabric.
The kiss deepened, he pushed his tongue forward gently, asking for entrance, and you gladly opened for him. Your tongues met and danced together in a intimate rhythm.
The taste of him was addictive, it was familiar from daytime kisses but it is so much better like this, tangled under the covers with no one watching.
You pulled back just enough to lick along his bottom lip with the tip of your tongue. Caleb’s breath hitched. Encouraged, you leaned in again, sucking gently on his lower lip before kissing him fully once more. He responded with a groan, his hand pressing you even closer as if he couldn’t get enough.
Caleb eventually slowed the kisses, pressing a few softer ones to the corner of your mouth. “Turn on your back for me?” he asked softly.
You nodded, and he lifted his arm, draping it across the pillow beside him like an invitation. You shifted obediently, settling onto his forearm so your head rested comfortably in the crook of his arm. He continued pressing sweet kisses to your cheek.
His free hand slid down to your waist, rubbing soothing circles over the fabric of your top. His fingers drifted lower, brushing over the tied waistband of your shorts. He toyed with the little bow for a few seconds, tracing the edge teasingly.“Can I?” he whispered against your ear, seeking permission.
You nodded again. With your consent, his hand slipped beneath the waistband of your shorts. It didn’t take long for him to realize you weren’t wearing anything underneath. Appreciative sound rumbled in his chest as his fingers ran through your folds, discovering just how wet you already were for him.
The first touch made you moan a little too loud for the shared bedroom. Caleb reacted instantly, pressing his lips firmly against yours to swallow the sound. He kissed you deeply as if to remind you that those sounds were only for him.
He obviously loved hearing you, in fact, he craved it and he’d do anything to do more to hear you, but not here where the others could hear. “Shh, baby.”He murmured against your mouth when he finally pulled back.
His fingers returned to your center, circling your clit with the perfect pressure. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, trying desperately to stay quiet as pleasure sparked through you. The feeling was intense in the dark, heightened by the need for silence and the way his strong arm cradled you close.
You managed to stay somewhat quiet, until he pushed two fingers inside you at once. The stretch drew a sharper gasp from your throat. Quickly, you slapped a hand over your mouth, eyes squeezing shut as pleasure rolled through you. When his fingers curled just right, hitting that perfect spot, you removed your hand, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down into a hungry kiss instead.
He understood the silent plea immediately. His fingers began pumping in and out of you in a steady rhythm, curling with every thrust. The wet sounds were faint beneath the covers, but they felt deafening in your ears.
“Oh, Caleb..” you moaned softly into his mouth.
“Shh, baby..” he whispered, lips brushing yours. “You’re doing so good being quiet for me.” His fingers never stopped their delicious pace. “Can you stay quiet just a little longer?”
You nodded frantically, burying your face against his neck. The pressure in your stomach built fast, tight, coiling heat that made your thighs tremble. Caleb kept whispering praise against your skin, his thumb occasionally brushing your clit while his fingers worked you closer and closer to the edge.
It hit you suddenly, your whole body tensed as waves of pleasure crashed over you, coming hard around his fingers. You pressed your face into his shoulder to muffle the sound, trembling in his arms. Caleb gently pumped his fingers through every pulse, helping you ride out the orgasm until the waves slowly subsided and your body melted boneless against him.
When you finally relaxed, he eased his fingers out of you slowly. And when your heavy breathing finally slowed, you turned onto your side, back pressed against Caleb’s chest.
Your eyes fluttered closed, and without a word, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. His hand splayed warmly over your stomach as he tucked you closer.
The next morning in the dressing room, you sat at the vanity, carefully blending concealer under your eyes. The girls were scattered around, doing their makeup and hair, the usual lively chatter filling the air.
“Yo, which one of y’all was getting french fries last night?” Trinity suddenly spoke up, loud and teasing.
You quietly laughed to yourself but stayed focused on your reflection, blending the product smoothly into your skin. The other girls immediately started denying it with giggles.
Trinity’s gaze landed on you. She noticed the small, telling smile you couldn’t hide. “Y/n.. was that you?”
You looked up, shrugging with a grin still playing on your lips. “It was!” Trinity yelled, pointing dramatically. “It was so fucking loud I knew damn well that wasn’t just kissing!”
The other girls erupted into excited cheers and laughter, crowding closer with wide eyes. Your face warmed, but the energy in the room was supportive. “Okay, okay, it was me.” You admitted with a laugh, setting down your brush.
Melanie leaned forward, eyebrows raised. “How did that even happen?”
You hummed, thinking back to the night before. “I don’t know.. we were just talking about how we really don’t want anyone else, but we didn’t close things off yet” you quickly added. “We were cuddling and kissing and, it just happened.”
Kayda grinned. “Ouhh, was it good?”
You looked straight at her, deadpan. “Bitch, is the grass green?”
The room filled with laughter as Trinity shook her head. “Sure it was good, she was barely staying quiet over there.”
Suddenly, a knock sounded on the door. “Come in!” the girls called out in unison.
The door opened and Caleb stepped inside, holding a plate of fresh fruit and toast in one hand and a mug in the other. He scanned the room until his eyes found you. “Oh, look, there’s the chef of french fries..” Trinity teased loudly.
Caleb blinked, confused, glancing between you and the girls. “What?”
You stood up quickly, smiling as you walked over to him. “They’re just joking around.” You reassured him softly. Rising onto your toes, you gave him a sweet peck on the lips. “Thank you for breakfast. This is really sweet.”
╰ Synopsis When Caleb walked into the villa, you immediately felt drawn to each other. After America voted you two to couple up, you became closer and clearly Caleb didn’t like when a bombshell came into the villa, clear that he wants you. So when you two get voted to go to hideaway, Caleb isn’t shy to prove what’s his.
tags/contains Caleb McDaniel x fem!reader. Smut, fluff, slight angst, 18+, NSFW content, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (pls be safe out there), porn with plot, backshots, cum eating, jealous Caleb, mutual pining, use of y/n, 4.6k words, requested.
➺ from Sera, to you📨. I had to make up so much shi for this fic so enjoy ✌️✌️
masterlist ᥫ᭡ please reblog this fic if you enjoyed it!
When you first laid your eyes on the blond, your heart forgot how to beat for a second. It was during the slumber party challenge, the girls and the boys were all piled onto the massive white sheeted bed that had quickly turned into a colorful mess of the girls trying to find their partner with paint.
All of the girls quickly learned that there clearly had been someone else kissing the guys, because no girls from the villa had the red paint.
And of course, Ariana announced that there was bombshells who kissed the guys while the girls blindfolded tried to find their connection. All the girls whined, until Ariana spoke up. “And girls, I know I forget a lot but this time I didn’t forget about you. Please welcome Caleb!”
You couldn’t see clearly from the start, but soon you saw a figure walking down the stairs. It was a tall, blond guy, all easy confidence and a genuine smile.
He was easily one of the best looking guys you’d ever seen in person. He had sunkissed skin, sharp jaw, and warm eyes that scanned the group. You couldn’t blame Melanie for jumping up and down on the bed, squealing with pure excitement as the sheets twisted under the movement. The girls were losing it, and really so were you on the inside.
Caleb laughed a little at the over the top welcome. When it was his turn to speak, he stepped forward and said where he was from, the southern drawl rolling out so naturally it hit you right in the chest. Yeah.. you loved yourself a cowboy.
Something about the way he carried himself, made your stomach do backflips in a way you hadn’t expected on day whatever this was.
You tried to play it cool, sitting there in your white lingerie, but your eyes kept drifting back to him as he made his way around the bed, greeting each girl with a make out. When he got closer to you, your heart picked up. You hoped he’d notice you the most out of everyone. Of course, not in a desperate way, but there was something about him that felt different from everyone else.
Maybe it was the way he looked like a guy who might actually mean what he said. Or just him being very cutesy. Or maybe both. Either way, you wanted to find out whatever it was.
Somehow, your wish came true. The chemistry between you and Caleb was even better than you’d hoped for. From the first day, he matched your energy in a way that felt natural, rather than forced.
But of course, nothing in the villa stayed simple for long. Kenzie had the same type, apparently, and zero shame about going after what she wanted. You tried not to feel greedy but it stung. She already had Corbin, like wasn’t that enough? You’d pulled the girls for a chat the day after Sol, Jen, and Caleb entered, telling them straight up that you wanted to see where things could go with him.
The next day, you decided not to wait. You spotted Caleb by the firepit talking to Sincere and walked over. “Hey, do you wanna go for a chat?”
He smiled warmly and nodded. “Lead the way.”
Once you were settled on the cozy couch of soulties, you swung your legs over his lap, getting comfortable. “So how do you feel about yesterday?” you asked, studying his face.
Caleb let out a small laugh, his hand resting on your knee. “I can’t lie I was a bit nervous walking into the villa.”
“Yeah?” You smiled, feeling your cheeks warm. “I was kind of nervous when you came in too.”
“Really?” His eyebrows lifted, his proud little smirk appearing. “I’m lowkey feeling kinda proud right now that I made you nervous.”
You laughed. “Who caught your eye first?”
“Should I be honest?”
“Obviously.”
“Probably you.” he said sincerely.
You covered your mouth for a second. “Shut up.” You played around “Are you saying that just now because I asked? You might be going around telling all the girls that.”
Caleb laughed, shaking his head as he squeezed your leg gently. “No, I promise. It’s not like that.”
A comfortable silence settled for a few seconds. You bit your lip, the question bothering you, “So.. how’d you feel about our kiss?”
He pretended to think hard. “I don’t know.. maybe I need a reminder?”
You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned in, your hand brushing his chest. The kiss was soft and sweet and exploring, exactly like how you’d felt when you two kissed for the first time. When you started to pull away, he chased it with two small kisses, both of you breaking into wide, ear to ear grins.
Two days later, everything changed for the better. America had voted, and somehow they saw exactly what you saw; the spark between you and Caleb. When your name was called with his at the recoupling, a wave of relief washed over you. He walked over to you with a genuine smile, and he pulled you into a warm hug.
He looked genuinely happy, his bright smile lighting up his whole face as he whispered in your ear, asking if you were okay. You were happy too, happier than you’d been since stepping foot in the villa.
That first night coupled up, you chose your cutest set of pajamas, soft pink shorts and a matching top that made you feel pretty. Caleb was already under the covers when you climbed in beside him. Without a word, he opened his arms, and you curled right into him, resting your head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady under your cheek, and his arms wrapped around you protectively, one hand gently rubbing your back.
“Goodnight.” He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
You smiled against his skin. “Night, Caleb.”
It was simple, but it was everything. You were exactly where you wanted to be.
The entire week that followed felt like a dream. You and Caleb spent every free moment getting to know each other deeper than you expected was possible in the villa. It was crazy how quickly it happened, but you two already felt like you’d known each other for way longer than a week and a half.
Caleb hated feeling a certain type of way when he saw you with someone else. He hated the tight twist in his chest every time another guy pulled you for a chat. He hated watching from across the villa as someone else got to sit with you on the daybeds, making you laugh, trying to build something.
And don’t even get him started on the challenges, moments when a guy chose to kiss you out of all the girls. Seeing another man’s lips on yours, even if it was “just a challenge” made something ugly flare up inside him.
He knew he shouldn’t feel that type of way. This was love island after all; kisses, chats, and tests were part of the deal. You two had only been coupled up a short while, and he trusted the connection you were building. You were sweet, genuine, and the way you looked at him after every conversation made him feel like the luckiest guy in the villa.
But it wasn’t every day that his woman got kissed by other men.
Caleb brushed the feeling aside, forcing himself to stay cool and confident. He didn’t want to come off insecure or controlling because that wasn’t him. He’d seen enough guys in the villa spiral and ruin good things by acting on every jealous impulse.
So he smiled through it, focusing instead on the moments that mattered: waking up with you on his chest, talks where you both opened up, and the way your hand always found his when you walked through the villa.
He knew the guys from the villa well enough by now or at least he hoped he did. Most of them respected the couples and would tell him straight if they were actually feeling you. But every time one of the others stayed a little too long in conversation with you, Caleb found himself watching, jaw tight until you came back to him with a bright smile that melted everything else away.
It especially didn’t help when a new bombshell came in and made it crystal clear he had come straight for you.
The Islanders had gotten ready for the kissing booth challenge. The rules were simple: first the boys would be blindfolded with noise cancelling headphones while the girls went down the line kissing them. The boys would rate each kiss out of ten, and the top girl would win bragging rights. Then the roles would reverse.
You were almost one of the last girls standing in line when the boys’ turn to kiss came around. Caleb moved down the row, and when he finally reached you, he made it obvious it was him. He started with a kiss on your neck, trailing upward until his lips captured yours. His hand gently held the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You melted into it instantly, the familiar tenderness making your knees feel weak.
Caleb had already kissed most of the girls by that point, and he was over it. He’d had enough of the random lips and at this point, he only wanted to kiss you.
You obviously knew your man’s lips. Even blindfolded, you could tell it was him the second he touched you. When it was time for the girls to give their ratings, you waited until your turn and smiled.“I mean, I think I already know who that was,” you said confidently, “and if I could, I’d give him a twelve out of ten. But since that’s probably not allowed, I’ll just settle for a ten.”
Caleb, laughed shyly but there was clear pride on his face too, he was proud that his girl could recognize him so easily among everyone else.
Bryce was the last guy to go down the line, because all of the other guys had already had their turns. But it obviously wouldn’t be love island if a bombshell didn’t come in during a challenge. Caleb saw the guy walking from the entrance, tall, complete opposite of him and the guy stopped Bryce from doing his part. “Don’t mind if I do?”
The girls were still blindfolded and wearing the headphones, completely oblivious to the new guy walking in.
“How was that kiss?” Zach asked, standing by the board with the marker ready as the girls told about their thoughts.
When it came to your turn, you shrugged with a small laugh. “I don’t know.. it wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t my man.”
When you were finally able to take your blindfold off, you saw the bombshell standing in front of you all, the girls with their mouths open. You glanced over at Caleb, before the girls were ushered toward the firepit with the new arrival. His name was Aidan, he was tall, darkhaired, and confident as he introduced himself.
The guys peeled off to the daybeds for their usual debrief. “Dude!” Zach spoke up first, “Bryce didn’t even get to kiss the girls.” Bryce nodded, chuckling. “Yeah, they were definitely excited to see the new guy.”
Sincere leaned back and pointed toward the firepit, nudging Caleb with his elbow. “There goes your girl.” You and the new guy, Aidan, made your way together towards the kitchen.
Caleb watched you sitting with Aidan, the new bombshell leaning in as you two talked. The jealousy flared hotter, but he decided not to say anything. “Do you think she pulled him or he pulled her?” Zach asked.
Caleb shrugged, eyes still locked on the kitchen area where you and Aidan had moved to continue chatting at the counter. “I dunno, but either way I’m cooked. If she pulled him, then she’s got some slight interest. If he pulled her, then he’s clearly going for her hard since she’s the first one he’s talking to.”
The guys murmured in agreement, but Zach tried to offer some comfort. “I mean, you know her. I don’t think it’ll be that easy for her to turn her head.”
Caleb nodded slowly, appreciating the words even if they didn’t fully help him. After a few minutes, he stood up and stretched, acting casual. “Dude?” Kc laughed, “are you going to the kitchen because they’re there?”
Caleb let out a short laugh, not even bothering to deny it. “Yeah.”
Later that night, after the long day and villa chatter had finally died down, everyone got ready for bed. You changed into your comfy sleepwear and padded over to the shared bedroom, a small smile tugging at your lips when you spotted Caleb already under the covers waiting for you, one arm behind his head.
You wasted no time wrapping yourself around him, legs tangled with his and your head resting on his chest. Even after the time you’d spent together, you were still excited every night to share a bed with him. There was something so comforting about his warmth and the rhythm of his heartbeat.
You two chatted softly like you always did before bed, like little observations about the other islanders, funny moments, and plans for the next day. Eventually, Caleb’s voice grew a little more serious. “So.. what did you two talk about?” he asked, referring to Aidan.
You tilted your head up to look at him. “Oh, nothing much. He just asked how I feel being in a couple with you, if we’re closed off, and stuff like that.”
Caleb’s hand paused on your back. “What’d you say?”
You smiled gently, tracing lazy circles on his chest. “I told him we’re not closed off yet, but I feel really great with you. That I’m not really waiting for anyone else to come in, and just excited to see where things go with you.”
The relief on Caleb’s face was immediate. His shoulders relaxed, and he pulled you a little closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Hearing you be so honest and hearing you affirm your connection out loud, settled something in him. Hopefully Aidan would take the hint and try to get to know someone else more romantically instead of focusing on you.
When the lights finally turned off, you lifted your head from his chest and nestled your face into the crook of his neck. You pressed a soft kiss there, then sucked lightly, obviously not enough to leave a mark, just enough to feel the warmth of his skin. You soothed the spot with your tongue before trailing up to capture his lips in a kiss.
It was sweet and comforting, the kind of kiss that said everything words couldn’t in the dark. You stayed like that for a while, exchanging soft kisses until the tiredness started to win. With a contented sigh, you pulled back slightly, smiling against his mouth. “Night, baby.” you whispered.
“Night, baby.” Caleb murmured back, his arms tightening around you protectively.
The next morning, you sat on the poufs with Trinity and Kayda, sipping coffee and enjoying the sunshine. The guys were working out nearby, muscles flexing as you three enjoyed the show.
That’s when Aidan walked over. You expected him to pull one of the other girls, but he stopped right in front of you. “Hey, you wanna go for a chat?”
You couldn’t exactly say no without seeming rude, so you agreed with a polite smile. “Sure.” He suggested the speakeasy and you nodded, following him inside but making sure to leave the door open. You settled onto the couch, keeping things light and friendly.
He started with somewhat easy questions, like where you’re from, what you do outside the villa. The conversation flowed nicely for about ten minutes. It was harmless, even kind of nice..
Until it wasn’t.
“So, did you enjoy our kiss yesterday?” Aidan asked, leaning in a bit.
The question instantly brought you back to how things started with Caleb and you had zero interest in going there with Aidan. “It was cool.” you laughed lightly, shrugging it off. “I don’t really have any complaints.”
“That’s great” he said with a smile. “How about we try again?”
You stared at him for a second, caught off guard. “Uhh, I don’t know.. I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
Aidan laughed, playing off the embarrassment. “Maybe another day?”
You gave a small, noncommittal smile. “We’ll see.”
After your chat with Aidan, you found Caleb in the kitchen talking to Sincere. You walked up behind him and slipped your hand around his waist, leaning into his side. “Hey, can I steal him for a bit?”
Sincere waved you off. “Go ahead. He’s all yours.”
You led Caleb up to soulties, the cozy spot feeling like the perfect place to talk. The second you sat down, you turned to him. “Aidan pulled me again.”
You could tell Caleb was getting annoyed, but he was clearly trying not to show it too much. “Did he?”
“Yeah” you said, sighing. “And he wanted to kiss me.”
“What?” Caleb’s eyes widened, surprise flashing across his face. He was expecting anything but this, because yesterday you made it clear that you weren’t going to be that easy.
“Yeah. I obviously told him no, but he asked if maybe another day and I just said ‘we’ll see’ because I didn’t know what else to say.”
Caleb nodded slowly, processing everything. “You handled it well. But I don’t like that he keeps going for you when he knows we’re coupled up.”
Before you could dive deeper, you heard the islanders yelling from downstairs. Trinity’s voice carried up clearly. “I got a text!”
You and Caleb immediately got up and leaned over the railing. Trinity read it out loud: “Islanders, the hideaway is open tonight. Please vote for the couple you want to send in.”
Your eyes met Caleb’s at the same time. A big smile broke across both your faces. Trinity looked straight up at you. “Bitch, you gotta go!” she yelled, grinning.
The rest of the islanders cheered and hyped you two up with no hesitation. You and Caleb broke into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you securely. “I guess we’re going to the hideaway,” you said, laughing softly against his chest.
The girls immediately started running up the stairs to help you get ready. Caleb got the hint and gave your butt a gentle, playful pat as you pulled away. “Can’t wait to see you downstairs.”
In the dressing room, the girls were hyping you up like it was a wedding. They helped you pick out the perfect set, and you ended up choosing a white lingerie that made you feel sexy. You layered a silky dark blue nightgown over it, the fabric soft and flowing beautifully against your skin.
Before you and Caleb went into the hideaway, the islanders made a song for you two, with plenty of cheeky lyrics.
When you entered the hideaway, the space felt like pure luxury compared to the main villa. It was big and romantic, and the first thing you both noticed was the inviting hot tub bubbling away in the corner. You walked over to the sign next to it and read it out loud.
“Stay wild..” You turned to Caleb. “Oh, we’re definitely staying wild tonight. I can promise you that.”
Caleb chuckled, pulling you close before you both explored further. You wandered into the bedroom area and stopped in your tracks. “Holy shit, Caleb.. that’s all for us?” The massive bed looked incredibly comfortable, complete with plush pillows and soft lighting. It felt like a whole different world.
Caleb’s eyes scanned the room and landed on a big mirror on the wall. “Y/n, look what I found.” he said, pointing with a smirk. The mirror had text that read: Pull here for a good time.
“Pull it!” you told him, curious.
He reached out and tugged on the handle. The mirror swung open to reveal a little compartment filled with handcuffs, a belt, game cards, and a few other things clearly meant for a very good time. You laughed and pulled out the belt, playfully snapping it in the air toward him.
“It don’t hurt..” Caleb raised an eyebrow. “Keep doing it.”
After spending some time relaxing in the hot tub, you both dried off and made your way toward the bed. Caleb lay back against the pillows, looking ridiculously attractive. You straddled his lap, pulling the covers up over your shoulders as you settled on top of him.
“Ughh..” you groaned. “Can we please just get the lights off now?” you complained. “Because I’m holding myself back from jumping your bones right now.”
Caleb let out a deep laugh, his hands resting on your thighs. “That right?”
Before he could even reach for the switch, the main lights dimmed and turned off automatically, leaving only the soft LED lights glowing around the room. You both paused, surprised, then broke into laughter again.
“Guess the hideaway heard you.” Caleb said, grinning up at you, his hands sliding up your sides.
You leaned down until your lips met his, your bodies pressed chest to chest. The kiss started slow, but heat quickly took over and it didn’t take long for Caleb’s hands to slide down and find your ass, squeezing with both hands. The firm grip pulled a soft moan from your throat, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth.
Before you knew it, Caleb flipped you both over with ease so he was hovering above you. He continued kissing you hungrily, occasionally breaking away to trail his lips down your neck, sucking lightly on your skin before finding his way back to your mouth.
His hand moved from your waist to your thigh, smoothing over the soft skin there before sliding higher. He played with the waistband of your panties, teasing you until you were aching for more.
“Please, Caleb..” you pleaded.
He didn’t tease you for long. Caleb slipped his hand into your panties, sliding his fingers over your slick folds. The sensation earned a louder moan from you.
He quickly pulled his hand out just long enough to tug your panties down your legs, leaving you more open for him. Bringing his two middle fingers to his mouth, he spit on them before returning to your core.
He entered you slowly with one finger, then added a second when you gasped saying “I want more.”
The stretch and rhythm of his fingers pulled another moan from your lips. Your head fell back against the pillow, mouth open as his fingers worked you perfectly.
As much as he wanted to kiss you and swallow every sound, he also loved seeing you with your head thrown back, back arching off the bed. It was a sight he couldn’t get enough of.
While your back arched, he took the opportunity to reach behind you and unclasp your bra. It took a little struggle with one hand, but he eventually got it open and tossed it aside.
He leaned down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing with his tongue while his fingers kept their pace. The multitasking was impressive, you’d give him that.
“Hm” he hummed against your skin, getting your attention. “I bet he wishes he got you like this. Think that?”
From your point of view, Caleb was still a little jealous about Aidan, but it didn’t bother you. You silently thanked everyone who had voted for you two to get this time alone in the hideaway so he could get his jealousy out.
Caleb kept working you, curling his fingers just right until your thighs started to tremble.
He rode out your high with you, whispering praises against your neck as you came undone beneath him. When your body finally relaxed, he slowly pulled his fingers out and brought them up to his lips, tasting you with a satisfied groan.
“Fuck, you taste good, baby.” he complimented.
After Caleb let you catch your breath, he leaned back down to kiss you hard, his tongue sliding against yours with renewed hunger.
He pulled the sheets up over both of you, creating a private cocoon that blocked out the rest of the world. It felt incredibly intimate with just the two of you tangled together under the soft fabric.
“Can you handle more, baby?” he asked sweetly.
You nodded immediately, absolutely not wasting this rare chance at alone time with him in this villa. “Yes.. please.”
Under the covers, you gladly helped him take off his boxers, both of you giggling as the fabric got tangled for a second. Once he was free, Caleb’s hands gripped your waist tightly as he positioned himself between your thighs.
He pushed in slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size. The stretch was perfect, and a moan escaped your lips. At least you were now promised, or at least really hoping, to have a sexy boyfriend after this villa and a fire dick every night once you got out.
When you finally gave him the sign to move, Caleb didn’t hold back. His thrusts came harder, and deeper, the bed creaked rhythmically beneath you, and you were so thankful the hideaway was soundproof enough that no one else in the villa could hear you two.
The wet slaps of skin on skin filled the small space under the sheets, mixing with your shared heavy breathing.
“Think he could fuck you like this?” Caleb growled against your ear, his hand sliding up your thigh and spreading you wider for him.
“Fuck..” you moaned, nails digging into his back hard enough to leave marks that would definitely show tomorrow. “No.. only you, Caleb.”
It seemed to spur him on even more. With a sound in his throat, he flipped you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up so your ass was raised while your chest pressed into the mattress.
He took you from behind, sinking back into you in one smooth thrust. His hand fisted gently in your hair, obviously he wasn’t trying to be rough, but just to tilt your head back so he could kiss you sloppily while still pounding into you.
The new angle was incredible, he was hitting that perfect spot with every thrust, making your eyes roll back. Your moans were muffled by the pillow and the heavy sheets, but Caleb seemed to love every single sound you made.
He reached around with one hand, finding your clit and rubbing it in tight, expert circles. The dual sensation pushed you right toward the edge again while he chased his own release, hips snapping against you relentlessly.
You came harder this time, clenching around him and shaking as pleasure crashed through you. Caleb followed right after, groaning your name. At the last second, he managed to pull out, stroking himself a few times before finishing across your lower back in hot pulses.
He collapsed on top of you, both of you panting heavily under the messy sheets. Your bodies were slick with sweat, hearts still racing from the intensity of it all.
After a moment, Caleb rolled off you with a satisfied groan but immediately pulled you into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around your body. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his thumb stroking soothing circles on your back.
“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he asked quietly, genuine concern in his voice as he checked on you.
You smiled against his skin, still catching your breath. “No.. it was perfect.”
He hummed happily, hugging you a little tighter. You yawned, the exhaustion finally hitting you hard after the long day and the passionate night. Caleb chuckled softly, recognizing the sign immediately.
“Get some sleep, baby.” he whispered, kissing the top of your head again. “We can talk about everything tomorrow.”
You nodded sleepily, already drifting off in his warm embrace.
A/N: This is my third account, I will be posting whatever captures my attention, and right now this man has indeed captured my attention. Please enjoy, and of course, feedback is always welcome.
IMPORTANT: I have been watching Love Island, but I may or may not base this off a specific episode, just honestly depends, thank you for understanding.
The moment he walked in was when you knew you were fucked.
Sure, you've explored some of the boys that were here in the villa, but you didn't really have that one true connection that you were looking for. Zach and Kayda were coupled up and not going anywhere even though they were still open. KC and Aniya were a couple you never dared to consider testing because of how close you grew to her, and the same with Trinity and Bryce.
Sincere was a mess in your eyes, and the games he continues to play against both Sol and Melanie was not something you wanted to entertain. And Gabe, while indeed very good looking, he just wasn't your type, and you knew pairing with him would only keep him unfulfilled. Then there was Corbin. You were initially coupled up with him, but you knew deep down, he was not that interested in you.
You would see the way he would send longing glances to Kenzie, and while he tried to keep it subtle, you just knew. You couldn't hate him for it, because at the end of the day, this is what the villa is about. Exploring and making connections until you found the one. And since you were a selfless person, you did the mature thing even though it would possibly bite you in the ass and send you home.
*Couple of days ago*
"Go to her", you finally said to Corbin as you both sat on the balcony of the villa. He looked at you with shock and somewhat excitement, subtle, but he played it off.
"What do you mean?" You glanced down towards the floor of the villa and see Kenzie talking to Jen and Sol while also looking up from time to time to watch the both of you.
"I'm not stupid Corbin, I see it, and I'm pretty sure everyone else sees it, and quite frankly while I would like to say that we tried, we can't try when your heart belongs to someone else." you sighed and turned to look at him face to face so he could understand exactly what you were saying.
"I'm not going to be someone who keeps two people apart, when its clear they belong together. So, please, for the three of us, go to her. Its okay, Corbin. Thank you for trying to at least get to know me, that's all I can ask for." you opened your arms up to show him that you truly meant no ill-will. That you wanted him to go seek his happiness.
He hugged you tight while whispering a 'thank you' and when you pulled away, you turned around to see Kenzie looking at the both of you. You smiled at her,
'He's yours.' you mouthed.
*Present*
You didn't expect there to be a new bombshell. But the moment you saw him, your heart immediately picked up its pace, and you could feel your body getting clammy.
To say he was handsome was a complete understatement. He was absolutely breathtaking. From his tan skin, bluish-hazel eyes, and that smile.
That fucking smile.
"Let's welcome Caleb to the Villa as one of your new bombshells." Was all you heard from Ariana as she continued to talk. You couldn't focus at all. All you could focus on was him. And the moment when his eyes landed on you, you couldn't help but get a little flustered and look away.
When you glanced back, you could see him still staring at you with that damn smile. You couldn't help but break the eye contact because of your current feelings at the moment. You were slightly overwhelmed and of course trying your best to remain calm.
"Are you okay?" you heard Trinity whisper under her breath. She was sitting right next to you and noticed your body language immediately. All you could do was slightly nod your head. You were too scared to speak because you were afraid to stumble over your words due to your nerves.
"Go ahead and go introduce yourselves to the ladies, Caleb." Was the last thing you heard from Ariana.
'Oh Fuck' you thought. You were starting to panic, he was going to have to kiss you. Immediately, your thoughts were starting to race due to anxiety.
'What if I fuck up?'
'What if he doesn't like me?'
'What if the kiss is bad?'
And so many more thoughts continued to rush through your brain as you watched him step towards the opposite side of the room. He started with Kenzie first. And as you watched, you couldn't help but feel a bit insecure. If Corbin still wanted Kenzie after being coupled up with you, what else is there to say if Caleb would do the same since you were the only one in the villa that was currently single and vulnerable.
Then it was Kayda's turn, and then Aniya's, then Melanie's, Sol's, Jen, and then Trinity. Each time you watched him kiss each of the girls, the nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach got deeper and deeper to the point you were a literal ball of nerves and you could feel your hands shaking.
You didn't realize it was your turn until you saw a pair of boots come into your view as you stared at the floor. You told yourself to take a deep breathe before looking up, and before you even could lift your head, you suddenly see a hand come towards you.
'oh god'
You felt the palm of his hand caress your cheek until his fingers went underneath your chin and lifted your head up to look at him.
'My fucking god' was all you could say in your head over and over. This man was beyond handsome.
"And your name is Beautiful?" he asked. His voice was deep and gave a southern accent. You didn't know an accent like that would make you feel like a hot mess.
You could barely talk because of how shy you all of a sudden became as he continued to hold your chin with his hand which you were sure he could feel the heat of your skin from how flustered you were.
"Y/n..." you could barely get out above a whisper, because suddenly you couldn't get your voice to work.
"Y/n....A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. May I?" he asked and held his hand out for you to take. You were too stunned to speak. And if this wasn't Love Island where there were cameras everywhere with millions of people watching, you would look like a blow fish right now with how big your mouth would have dropped.
"Yes.." was all you could get out. And while you internally cussed yourself out, you couldn't focus on that anymore once he took your hand and gently pulled you up from your seat.
Your eyes stayed locked on his. You could feel the attention on you both, the whispers from the others, the intense feeling of all the cameras on you both. But not only that, you could feel his hands on you.
'What the hell is wrong with me' you chastised yourself. He was just a guy, but since when did a guy ever make you feel like this just from touching you? The pit in your stomach threatened to spill over as you both continued to stare at each other. That handsome smile of his continued to be on his face and in return you couldn't help but break the eye contact and look down.
"None of that." He spoke to you and guided your face back to look at him. And that's when he finally took the chance and kissed you.
He leaned in not too fast, but not too slow. And when his lips touched yours, it ignited something within your entire body. Suddenly this was the feeling you were looking for that you weren't able to find so far in the villa. This was the feeling you were wanting.
As he depend the kiss, you could feel him put one hand at the nape of your neck and the other on your hip. That gentle squeeze followed by a slight tug made you gasp and he took that opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth.
'Oh he's fucking good'
"God Damn!", "Holy fuck!", "Get it bitch!" was called out from the others as they watched this very intimate moment between you two. When he finally pulled away after what seemed like ages, he made sure to push a strand of hair back behind your ear, but not before leaving a what some might say, long kiss on your cheek.
You watched him take his place next to Ariana again.
"That was a very interesting scene that we all just watched I think we can all agree, right guys?" Everyone cheered as an answer to that response but you were still in after shock from that damn kiss.
"So Caleb, tell us, do you think you may have found anyone you may want to couple up with as you did some exploring just now?" Ariana asked him.
"Yes ma'am, I definitely found someone I would like to explore with." he said with a smile on his face and was he also....blushing?
'Dammit, handsome and adorable, just shoot me now'
You could feel Trinity nudging you with her elbow and turned to see her give you a know it all smirk. You couldn't even roll your eyes at her, you couldn't really respond at all because of the lingering moment still playing in your head. You could still feel the lingering of his lips on yours.
"Well, I hope that whoever you choose to explore with also has those same feelings in return and that you both get to find something great out of it." Ariana closed her time out on the villa and after saying her goodbyes, left.
While everyone got up to talk about what just happened, you sat there on the couch, still in the aftershock. It wasn't until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you looked up and see that handsome face in front of you again.
"Hi.." you whispered to him while trying to give him a polite smile and not continue to be shy.
"Hi" he responded back to you with that damn smile. He decided to take this moment and sit next to you.
"May I ask if you're currently coupled up with anyone?" Straight to the point, but somehow very respectful. What the hell is this man doing to you.
"I'm not coupled up with anyone." You told him.
"Why is that?" he moved his hand to place it on top of yours and you had to remind yourself to focus on the conversation and not on the feeling you were getting from him touching you.
"I haven't been able to find the right one unfortunately..." you told him. You didn't really want to go into details yet about what happened between you and Corbin. You didn't want a pity party.
"Maybe the right one just came in for you." and you couldn't help but smile at his words.
"Is that so?" you asked him as his hand continued to caress yours.
"Want to find out?" he asked with that damn handsome smile.
'Fuck yeah, I want to find out'
"Show me then." you dared him. You both couldn't help but laugh. This was not how you pictured the night to go. But good god you were not going to complain. You had a strong feeling that this man was going to definitely show you he was the right one for you. After all, you both came here for love.
A/N: That was kind of long, sorry. But imagination gets the best of me. Hope you enjoyed.
Summary: After being in Casa for three days, you finally come face to face with Caleb at the recoupling. And let’s just say, you’re about to hold nothing back and stand on business. (second part of the series)
A/N: this will be based on the infamous argument between Serena and Kordell. I need some angst in my life with our cowboy (not sorry at all, cause a happy ending is coming.)
Warning(s): angst, insecure thoughts, emotional stress, possible heartbreak for you readers.
Three long grueling days.
That's how long it has been since the boys entered Casa. Since that night at the fire pit where you and the girls had to endure the mental and emotional torture of watching the boys act up with the new bombshells, you all tried your best to maintain the normalcy.
Keyword 'tried'.
You were practically numb since that night. You had shut down emotionally and the girls could tell immediately that you were not the same Y/n they knew and loved.
The morning after that night at the fire pit, Ariana had walked in to check in on y'all. She had you guys sit down and talk about what y'all's current thoughts were based on what was happening in Casa.
"So, my lovely ladies, how are we feeling about the boys being in Casa Amor right now?" she asked.
Trinity was the first to speak up.
"I think it was bullshit the way they did it. But at this point we can't dwell on it." She responded.
"I'm just ready to see some hot new singles after the bullshit I saw on that screen last night." Kenzie said. With the other girls agreeing with her.
Ariana then looked at you.
"Y/n, how are you feeling hun? I know its been a very emotional day for you and I'm sorry you had to experience this." she said.
You didn't want to answer. You really did not want to. But its not her fault that you were placed in this situation. And after all, this is still a reality show, and even though it came down to the cast having the power to eliminate others, it was also in the hands of America. And you were not ready to go home yet.
"I won't lie to you, I'm very heartbroken right now." You spoke softly.
"I don't really have anything else other than that to say, and that eventually I hope this heartbreak goes away soon. I just want to find happiness with someone who I have a great connection with and at the end chooses me." You ended the conversation with that answer. Not wanting to say anything further. You were grateful that Ariana did not push any further.
"Well, considering everything that went down, I just want to say that I don't think its fair that the boys get to have all the fun. So, with that being said, we have twelve bombshells currently on their way to enter the villa." she said. The girls screamed in excitement, they were waiting for this moment since day one of Casa. They were ready to explore with no shame just like the boys.
"Remember, Love Island is all about making connections. It's possible to have more than one, but there's always that one connection that is stronger than the others. Please make sure that you explore as much as possible, you'll have time to meet them for our villa pool party. At the end, you will decide the six boys that will get to stay and the six boys that will get to stay in the villa." The girls jumped with excitement, screaming their heads off. Although you weren't jumping up and down with excitement, you knew you were going to have to go into this with an open mind.
'If Caleb wants to explore, then I have every right to do the same.'
*Two Days Later*
You tried so hard to find another connection. You spoke to all the bombshells. You kissed them to see if there was any compatibility, you tried everything that you possibly could to try and form another connection. But you simply didn't have one.
You were frustrated. The problem was when you tried to find a connection, Caleb would pop up in the back of your head. And you tried so hard to push him at the back of your mind. But then the memories would come crawling back and take over. You decided right then and there that you had to be honest with yourself and realize that the only connection you had was with Caleb and no one else.
When the bombshells tried to get to know you more, you let yourself open up, but then you couldn't let it go any further.
"I'm really sorry, but I'm going to be honest and tell you that I still have my other connection with Caleb in the back of my head. I don't want to waste your time at all and want to be fair to you." You were grateful that they were understanding at least. But of course it only had you questioning why you couldn't just let go of Caleb.
'After everything he did, I still can't let him go.' you thought.
'How desperate can you be?'
'He's going to bring back someone else, and you know it.'
You needed to go find the girls. You couldn't be alone with these current thoughts right now. As you make your way over to the girls who were sitting in the 'Say Less' area, your phone suddenly pings.
"Oh shit." and other similar phrases were said throughout the villa as everyone waited for you to read the text.
"Islanders, tonight will be a recoupling. The boys will be returning from Casa Amor. Make sure to take this time to think about who it is that you want to couple up with."
"Fuckkkkk, are you fucking serious." Trinity complained.
Everyone was immediately on edge. You on the other hand, could feel yourself starting to panic. It was now hitting you that you were going to see Caleb tonight. A list of multiple scenarios started to play in your head. Enough to give a headache.
'What am I going to do?' you thought desperately. Hoping that something or someone can give you an answer at that moment.
"Come on y'all, let's go get ready, we have a lot to think about." Melanie reasoned with you and the girls. They all stood up and as a group you walked upstairs to the changing room.
"How are you feeling Y/n?" Aniya asked you.
You were currently decided which outfit to wear tonight, the many options becoming a bit difficult to decide.
"I'm okay," you started. Your hand coming up to grab a blue dress that caught your eye. You analyzed it but finished answering Aniya's question.
"I'm not 100%, but I'm okay. Just not sure what to do. I don't have a connection with any of the guys here, although I wish I could. But my heart is not in it. My heart still wants Caleb." you admitted and could feel the tears starting to form.
No. You were not going to cry right now. Not when you just did your makeup as well. You were going to get through tonight.
"So, do you think you're leaning most likely towards staying single?" she asked in return.
"It's the only justifiable and possible thing to do. I'm not going to string one of these boys along when the whole time, I'm going to be thinking about Caleb." Aniya nodded in understanding.
"As much as I want to say to pick one of the guys here, I get where you're coming from. Pick what your heart is telling you, and don't let yourself feel guilty for the choice you make. We can't help who we have feelings for." she finished the conversation and gave you a tight hug which you honestly needed.
You look back at your wardrobe and finally pick a dress to put on.
*At the fire pit*
You were all seated around the fire pit. Ariana was standing in front, and each minute that passed by only had you feeling sick. You were dreading the moment you would be called on to tell Ariana what you were going to do.
'What if he walks in with another girl?'
'What if everything between us was a lie?'
The thoughts were coming at you left and right, trying to take over your thought process. You take a couple of deep breaths to calm yourself. You could do this, and you were going to be okay.
The memory of watching Caleb and Jaiden kissed played in your head. Although looking at them made you sick to your stomach, you took into consideration that he told her that he still did have a connection with you. That he still thought of you and considered you. But then the image of them being in that damn private room only made your heart ache bad.
You were so busy weighing your options that you didn't notice that Trinity was up standing. Getting ready to make the big decision. You all stayed quiet and listened to her reasoning for either pairing up with one of the bombshells or deciding to stay single while potentially reuniting with Bryce.
"I am going to remain single and not pair up with one of these amazing boys. Although they deserve love, this is what my heart was telling me to do." She explained.
"Trinity, you have decided to remain single and loyal to Bryce. If Bryce walks in alone, then you guys will stay coupled up. If he walks in with someone else, then you will be single and vulnerable. Let's see what he decided." Ariana said.
You all watched with anticipation, you hoped that Bryce was going to walk in here alone. Him and Trinity were endgame. If he walked in here with someone else, then everyone, and even America would be shocked.
Suddenly, Bryce walks in and he's alone. Trinity spots him and screams in joy. Everyone smiled and cheered as they realized that they were going to remain a couple. You watch as they hug each other tight and pull each other in for a deep, long kiss.
'Who knows, that may or may not be me.'
When Bryce and Trinity finished talking to Ariana and sat down, you gulped when she turned to face you.
"Y/n, its your turn. Will you please stand up." she directed and gave you a soft smile.
You wiped the sweat that built up on your hands due to nerves away, slowly standing up from the couch.
"How do you feel hun?" Ariana asked, giving you an encouraging smile.
"Nervous as fuck..." was all you could get out at that moment. You could hear the light chuckles that came from everyone else.
"Before Casa, you were coupled up with Caleb. In fact, you were also in the hideaway together the night of and were voted to go in by America. How does that make you feel?" she asked.
It felt like you were being interrogated. The heat from the spotlight was making your skin heat up, and you could feel the fast pace of your heart speeding up.
"It felt nice that America voted for us to be in the hideaway. I think they see something that is very real between me and Caleb, and I hope that it means something and will give me the answers I am looking for." You answered honestly. Then she finally asked the magic question.
"Y/n, the choice is now yours. Would you like to couple up with someone here, or would you like to remain single." You took a deep breath. This was it, and it was now or never, and definitely no chance of going back on your decision.
"I have decided" you started off. The breath getting caught in your throat. You had to pause to get yourself together.
"You can do this Y/n" Trinity whispered from behind you. Encouraging you as much as she could.
"I have decided to remain single. As much as I tried to explore and find connections among these guys, I honestly could not find one. It wouldn't be fair to them to pick them and only lead them on. That's not a position I would ever want to be in for myself and I think these guys would say the same." You finally answered. Your breathing becomes uneven due to the nerves.
"Y/n, you have decided to remain single and loyal to Caleb. If Caleb walks in alone then you will remain a couple. If he walks in with someone else, then you will be single and vulnerable." she stated. All you could do was nod your head. Too scared to say anything else.
"Let's see what Caleb has decided." Those dreadful words were finally said. Your hands hold onto your arms so tight to keep yourself grounded in this moment.
'Please choose me Caleb'
'Prove me wrong'
You begged for a final time. You could hear the footsteps. This was it, now or never.
"Oh fuck." you heard Kenzie gasped. Your body froze when you saw him. Except he wasn't alone. He was walking with Jaiden, and he was holding her hand.
You couldn't breathe anymore, your heart felt like it was being stabbed. This was the worse fucking pain you could have ever felt. You thought him leaving you alone in the hideaway was bad, that watching him kiss Jaiden was terrible, but nothing compared to what you currently felt in this moment. So many emotions hitting you at once, pain, sadness, anger, heartbreak, rage, all of it.
Your eyes stayed watching them, his eyes not meeting anyone but the ground. You could see Jaiden trying to reassure him. They finally made it to Ariana, and after saying their hello's is when he finally locked eyes on you.
You hope he could see the pain in your eyes, the hurt, resentment, and rage. You wanted him to see exactly what he was doing to you.
"Caleb, as you can see, Y/n has decided to remain single. You walked in with Jaiden which means you are now coupled up with her. How do you feel right now?" You could feel everyone's eyes burning into your skin. They were waiting to see what was going to happen. Caleb takes a deep breath and could barely let out a sound. It was like a mumble.
"Speak. Up." you demanded. You were not going to break in front of everyone right now. But you damn well were going to demand some answers.
"Say that shit with your chest." Kayda said aloud.
"I won't lie, I feel very bad right now." he started. He watched you roll your eyes, and could see the way your jaw clenched. He was getting nervous. He knew he was going to need to be extremely careful with his words.
"As much as I loved being coupled with Y/n, I did also have a strong connection with Jaiden, and I felt that it was something that needed to be explored more." he answered.
You were shaking. You wanted to snap so bad, but you knew how that would only make you look in the end. And regardless, America was also watching this, so you were going to do your best maintain your composure.
"Y/n, how do you feel about what Caleb said?" Ariana asked you.
Your hands dropped from holding your stomach. It was no longer nerves that consumed you, but rage.
"I mean it is what it is. I should've known better from the day that I saw him kissing and having a grand time over in Casa." you started.
"It wasn't just all of that." Caleb tried to defend him. But you didn't let him speak anymore.
"Oh no, y'all had a fucking time." you started off coldly. The girls also commenting in your favor since they also saw what happened.
"I should've known better, when I was trying to stay open and go on other dates and explore with these nice guys here, that you were probably going to do some stupid shit like this. I was out here for three days, getting torn up by mosquitoes, constantly thinking of you, and being respectful towards you when I could've kissed them too but I fucking didn't. Should've known that once you could get your dick wet with the first girl you see that you would fold like that. Dry humping and everything." you vulgarly gestured and reenacted the moment you saw him and Jaiden making out and the way he moved her hips.
Everyone gasped. They couldn't believe what they were seeing and hearing from you. You have never acted like this or displayed yourself in a way like this. They didn't know whether they should be scared or worried for you or Caleb.
"I know you're hurt, and I'm sorry about that, but I did have you in the back of my mind. I thought of you everyday." He tried to reason.
"Oh shit." You heard Sincere gasp from the other side of the fire pit. Everyone could see you flipping him off as clear as day. Both fingers were in the air, pointed right at him.
"You clearly didn't think of me at all the moment you pulled that shit in the bed with her. But it is what it is." You finished.
"Caleb and Jaiden, please go have a seat with the others." Ariana said as it was time to move on. Trinity grabbed your hand and sat you down, immediately comforting you. The tears at the edge of your eyes. You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn't want to look at him. You couldn't anymore.
'I'm so fucking stupid to think that he would choose me.'
*The next day*
You were numb.
Your heart hurts so bad. You couldn't even sleep in the room like everyone else. You had slept in soul ties because you didn't want to look at him with her. You cried all night. The only source of comfort that night was your pillow. You were an emotional wreck.
When you got into the dressing room to get ready with the girls, you didn't even speak. You didn't want to talk at all. You just wanted to get ready and then be done with the day. If you could be alone you would.
Suddenly, the guys started coming in, bringing breakfasts to you and the girls. You saw him from the corner of your eye, he had two plates in his hands. He stopped at Jaiden first and gave her the plate. You could hear her thank him and hear the kiss that she left on him, whether it was his cheek or on his lips, it didn't matter. Then he started to make his way towards you.
"Don't come over here." you warned him. You did not want him near you whatsoever.
"I don't want it." you stated firmly, still trying to cover the swelling under your eyes from crying so much last night. Just as he was about to place the plate of food in front of you, you moved your hand so that it was under it and pushed it towards him. The food ultimately landed on his chest and the floor. The girls gasped in shock.
"I told you I don't want it." You state a final time. Not paying attention to his reaction and moving on with your routine. You could hear him picking up the food from the floor. You could hear the whispers from the girls, and quite frankly you didn't care what they thought. You were not going to put up with this.
When he finally walked away is when you felt like you could breathe again.
*Throughout the day*
You could see them talking and hanging out. The way he would smile at her, get close to her. It hurt so much watching this. The way he looked at her, was how he would look at you.
You stayed up on the balcony, away from everyone else. Not wanting to be bothered by anyone. You just wanted to be alone. You needed to be alone in order to come to terms with everything that happened. But deep down, you couldn't come to terms with it. This was killing you emotionally.
The sunglasses you had on hid the tears falling from your eyes.
'Why me? What is so wrong about me that I can't be loved the right way.'
You could hear them right below you, talking and laughing, like nothing happened last night. Did he not feel bad for anything that has happened? Was it all a lie? Did he truly only want to sleep with you?
These questions hurt so bad as they continued to pop up in your head. You couldn't stand hearing how happy they were with each other, so, you got up and walked away, trying your best to remain quiet as the sobs quietly broke through from your mouth.
*Later that night*
It was time to get dressed to go down and be with everyone in the villa. Although you didn't want to, you knew it would look bad if you didn't, and you did not want to give anyone the satisfaction that this was breaking you. Even though deep down it was.
"You can do this." you whispered to yourself. You chanted that in your head a couple more times to help you gain the confidence you needed.
"Don't let him get to you babe, you're strong as fuck, and you're not about to let him ruin your night." Trinity said from behind you, wanting to be with you in your time of need. You appreciated her so much for this. She truly was a great friend.
She grabbed your hand, and you both exited the room and walked down the stairs to get to the main area of the villa. You could see everyone surrounding the kitchen counter. You did your best to avoid seeing them.
Trinity made you stay with her the whole time, making sure that you were comfortable even though deep down, you just wanted to hide. As you were listening to her and Aniya talk, you suddenly felt a tap on your shoulder. It was Jaiden.
"Y/n, is it okay if I pull you for a quick chat?" she asked softly. You looked back at the girls who nodded their heads. Encouraging you to go talk to her. You turned back to look at her and nodded your head, signalling to go over to 'say less'.
The silence was a bit awkward. You didn't know what to say or if you should start the conversation, but luckily Jaiden decided to make the first move.
"I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry for how things went down last night with Caleb. If I was in your shows, I know I would react the same way, and I just hope that we can somehow get past this and get to know each other more." As much as the petty side of you wanted to scoff and roll your eyes at her words, you had to admit that this wasn't her fault. In the end this was all Caleb's doing.
"Can I ask you something?" you whispered, afraid that your voice would crack if you spoke normally. She gave you a small smile and said yes.
"Did Caleb ever say anything about me or our connection?" you finally bit the bullet and asked her. You needed to know this. Your heart needs to know this.
"He talked about you all the time." she admitted.
"He would always say how his connection with you was very strong and that it would take a lot to top it." She started explaining. You didn't react yet, you wanted to hear everything. You needed to hear everything.
"From the time he was there up until the night of the recoupling, he would always mention you. You were always on his mind everyday." you scoffed and sat yourself up straight.
"yeah right.." you mumbled.
"It's true, he thought of you and spoke of you everyday." she stated.
"No offense to you, then why did he make the choice he did." you asked.
"He told me that he wanted to continue to pursue the connection and test it to see which one was stronger." Now you were pissed. After everything, your connection with him was suddenly not strong enough.
"Thank you for telling me this, but I need to go do something right now." you finished the conversation and got up from your seat. You walked back over to the kitchen, your eyes scanning the area.
"Y/n, you okay?" Trinity asked, she could see that you were on a mission for something. You looked around more, ignoring her question until you look up and see Caleb and Sincere sitting across from each other at the dock, talking. You marched way over there.
Once he was in your line of sight, the sound of your heels stomping on the floor caused both boys to look up and turn to you.
"You are so fucking disrespectful you know that." you spat at him. Your rage finally starts to get the best of you. His eyes widened when he realized that you were talking to him and he got up from his seat quickly.
"Sincere, I don't know who you're looking at, but you better leave right now." you warned him. He didn't waste a single second and scurried off. It was just you and Caleb now, and you were ready.
"You're such a piece of shit." you told him rudely, your hands enclosed as fists by your sides.
"We can talk about why I'm a piece of shit." he said calmly. It only angered you more.
"Was it fucking worth it Caleb? Was it all fucking worth it?!" you looked at him with disgust.
Caleb couldn't blame you for how you were talking to him. He fucked up so bad. He fuck up the relationship with you. He felt like a piece of shit.
"No, it wasn't worth it." he replied back. He was so ashamed of himself. But you didn't care. You could give a fuck about he felt, but he sure was going to know how you felt.
"Why the fuck did you do it then? How could you leave me alone that night after what we did, how could you fucking bring her back after what has happened between us?" your voice so loud that you could hear the other stop talking from down below. They could hear everything you were saying.
"I wanted to test our connection." he started off, you scoffed at his answer.
"I told her that my connection is still strong with you, that it's going to be hard to top it." you cut him off.
"That's fucking bullshit and you know it. You are so fucking disrespectful. To watch you fucking kiss her, not even after twenty four hours of being with me in the hideaway and you fucking folded like a fucking pretzel." you spat.
"Y/n, I still told her though that I thought of you everyday. There wasn't a day where I didn't speak about you." he spoke as he got closer to you. He wanted you to understand so badly. He could see how his words were only doing more harm than good.
"Fuck you Caleb." you told him, the tears finally falling so he could see how hurt you truly were.
"You're fucked up, you're so fucked up, you were not respectful in the slightest." you cried out.
"Have some fucking respect, cause I told you what the fuck!" your hand gesturing at him. A cry escaped from your throat and you tried to walk away before you broke.
"Y/n, wait." Caleb had tried to stop you by grabbing your arm.
"Don't fucking touch me." you yelled at him. Caleb was shocked. He had never seen you like this, and he was starting to realize how bad his actions truly affected you.
"You were not even respectful in the slightest, the fucking slightest Caleb. There was no type of consideration for me or else you would not have done half of the shit you did." you told him.
"Y/n, I told her that I felt that I was disrespecting you-" he started.
"And kept doing it?" you cut him off. You didn't care how rude it was. Just like he didn't care about your feelings.
"So how bad did you really feel, cause you kept doing it and doing it, and then you fucking brought her back to rub that shit in my fucking face."
"I wasn't trying to rub shit in your face Y/n." he spoke over you, trying to get his words out.
"Maybe not intentionally, but you did it. You brought her back so stand on what the hell you did." you told him. You couldn't take it anymore. You broke at that moment. The sobs leave your body and out in the open.
"Did that night not mean anything to you?" You finally asked. "Am I just a fucking joke to you? Is that all you wanted from me?" you questioned him, trying to control your cries so you could get your answers.
Caleb's heart broke right then and there, he should've known better. After that night, he should have done better, because at the end of the day that night meant everything to him. He hated that he was the cause of your pain, the cause of your heartbreak. He never wanted to be the cause of this, and this was the worse pain unimaginable.
"It meant everything." he said softly, trying to keep control of emotions. "That night meant every fucking thing to me Y/n." he wanted you to believe him, and you wanted to as well, but his actions showed otherwise.
"It didn't take much for you to do what you did Caleb. It didn't take shit." you told him, the sobs are still leaving your body. He hated seeing you cry, he hated being the cause of you crying. He felt so fucking disgusted with himself in this moment. He now realizes what he did to you.
"You promised me, and you couldn't even keep it. I thought of you every step of the way, had you in the back of my mind every fucking day..." you started, wiping away some of the excess tears, but they still kept coming.
"Y/n please, just let me explain." but you shook your head.
"No Caleb. I'm fucking done." you finally said. You looked at him in the eye one last time, hoping he could see how much he broke you. You walked past him, headed towards the stairs.
"Y/n!" he called after you. "We can't just end it like this." he yelled out to you, trying to get you to listen. But you continued walking.
"You ended it when you walked in here with her."
A/N: If y'all don't give me the recognition I deserve for this masterpiece I swear to God. Feedback, feedback, feedback!
Summary: it’s the morning after you and Caleb stayed in the hideaway. Why is it that when you wake up he’s not there next to you?
A/N: this will be based on the infamous argument between Serena and Kordell. I need some angst in my life with our cowboy (not sorry at all, cause a happy ending is coming.)
Warning(s): angst, implicit explicit references, insecure thoughts, your heart might or may not get broken.
The morning sun signaled that it was time to wake up. You took that moment to stretch your limbs out. The thought of the previous night came into motion. The intimate experience you had with Caleb was what you would describe as unforgettable and amazing.
The way his touch made your body react, the way his kisses had you wanting more, the endless whispers of adoration in your ear. How could you not smile at that? You peak over to glance at Caleb only to see that he's not there.
Your eyebrows furrowed. You sat up from the bed, making sure to cover your body with the sheets since you were still naked. You pressed your hand in the empty spot next to you.
It was cold. You looked around the room and saw his clothes were gone. There was absolutely no trace of him. Suddenly, your phone dinged, signalling that you got a text. You reached over to grab it and quickly look to see what was messaged to you.
'The boys are now in Casa Amor. Please head back to villa to join the girls.'
The blood escaped from your cheeks, your hand began to shake, and you could feel your heart racing at a very unhealthy pace.
'No, no, no, this can't be happening. Not now.'
The tears couldn't help but fall past your cheek. He didn't even tell you he was leaving. He didn't say a single word. Not even a note.
You quickly gather your clothes to put them on. You made sure you had everything before walking out of the bedroom. You see the hot tub where the conversation you guys that led to you both exploring each other in a special way. You could now only look at it in disgust.
As you exit the hideaway and enter the villa, you see the girls in the kitchen making themselves breakfast. You didn't announce that you were here, you couldn't really speak other than continue to let the tears fall.
"Y/n!" Aniya screamed. The girls looked over and saw you standing there alone. No Caleb in sight. All of their mouths dropped wide open in shock.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Kayda screamed.
"He fucking didn't!" Trinity yelled.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Melanie commented.
They all realized what happened now. And to say they were pissed was an understatement. They were all livid for you. You couldn't help but finally breakdown.
Immediately, they rushed to you. Arms holding you so you don't crash. The sobs that came from your throat wrecked through the entire villa. Your arms wrapping around the person closest near you. You needed to be grounded in that moment.
"I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." You heard Kenzie say as she held you tight in her arms.
"W-why did t-they have t-to fucking do that?!" you sobbed out. Your heart hurt so fucking bad. You never felt this much emotional pain before. It finally hit you that Caleb was now in Casa with the other boys and would be there for three to four days. Right after you guys just had sex.
"I fucking hate this shit! You don't deserve this Y/n." Trinity said as they all continued to comfort you. The girls couldn't believe that this happened to you. Especially, in this specific manner.
"A-after what we did l-last night. And, and he c-couldn't even tell m-me." You brokenly cried out, clutching onto Kenzie tighter.
"Fuck Casa!" you finally let out. Fuck Casa, fuck the island, fuck the game, and most importantly, fuck everything that just happened between you and Caleb.
Because if he wanted to, he would have said something.
The girls hug you a minute longer, deciding that you needed to go shower to wash this away. Not that it really could, but it could at least wash away the grossness you feel on your body at that moment. They all walk you up the stairs and into the room.
*Later that night*
There was no challenge planned that night. No big event that would cause you to dress up. So, you and the girls kept it lazy and comfortable. The sweatpants and hoodies that you had covered every inch of your skin besides your face. You didn't want your skin on display at all after what happened.
After showering earlier this morning, the girls did their best to keep you company. They let you vent and get your feelings out. It was helpful, but it still didn't help the deep puncture in your heart.
'Why would he just leave like that?' you thought.
'He promised..'
'What if he finds someone better?'
Your intrusive thoughts prodded your brain. And no one could blame you considering what happened to you. The girls still could not fathom why this had to happen to you the night you and Caleb went to the hideaway. It was unfair and disrespectful.
You and the girls sat on your beds, waiting to go down to the kitchen together to make something for dinner. You weren't sure if you were going to be able to tolerate anything right now.
*ping*
"Are you fucking serious?" Kenzie stated as her phone signaled that she got a text. The girls gathered around her and waited for her to speak.
'Girls, please come downstairs to the firepit.'
"What the fuck do they want us to do now?" Trinity asked from beside you. Still comforting you from today's events.
"I don't know, but lets just go and get this over with." Aniya said.
Trinity grabbed your hand and helped lead you down the stairs. Once all of you were seated at the firepit, you noticed a big screen in front of you.
'When did that get there?' you wondered.
"Not the fucking tv screen again!" the girls simultaneously complained. You looked at them in confusion, not sure of what was happening or what was going to happen.
"Last night while you and Caleb were in the hideaway we were getting ready for dinner, we walked out and didn't see any of the guys here. Turns out they all went to Casa Amor and they all got to know the new bombshells very fucking well." Trinity explained as she continued to comfort you by placing her hand on your shoulder to give it reassuring squeezes.
Your body is stiffened. Does this mean what you think it does? Did Caleb meet those girls too? And get to know them?
Your palms started to get sweaty and your foot started to bounce up and down due to the anxiety that took over you. Suddenly, the screen turned on. All of the girls got quiet, waiting in anticipation to see what was going to be displayed.
You look at the words written on the TV.
"Currently happening in Casa Amor"
"Here we fucking go again." Kenzie groaned. You had a feeling this was about to get very ugly.
The screen changes, and you see the boys. Most importantly, you see Caleb. He doesn't even look like he was having any guilt or regret in his face. You could feel the unhealthy pace of your heart begin to beat. You were so fucking scared of what you were going to see.
"Fucking bitch ass Corbin, fuck him!" Kenzie yelled out. The screen shows Corbin and one of the bombshells named Parmida in a heated kiss. His hands boldly touching her everywhere and even going down to her ass to squeeze it. Your mouth dropped.
'Is this what they had to deal with last night?' you asked yourself.
Then the screen switched over to KC who was currently in a private room somewhere in Casa with one of the girls named Tierra. The way they endlessly flirted with each other was something, but when he climbed himself on top of Tierra and made out with her in a very provocative way is what got you.
You could see Aniya trying to hold in her emotions. She was pissed and rightfully so. How the hell was KC was going to say one thing and then do this?
"He's so fucking nasty." she muttered, doing her best to maintain that composure.
And it continued on. You all had to watch the boys explore these new bombshells. And boy, did they fucking explore. They were unapologetic about their actions. Just before you could pose a complete thought, your eyes widened when you see Caleb's face pop up on the screen.
"Oh fuck, please God. Please God, fucking shit." Kayda begged the universe. You could feel all eyes on you from the girls, but all you could do was watch the screen.
It shows Caleb and a blonde girl named Jaiden. She was pretty. Gorgeous even. They were sitting next to each other on the couch. You took note of how close they were to each other.
Did he sit close to her willingly? Or was she the one that did that? Why the hell did she have to be pretty? You couldn't help it. These thoughts were racing so bad that you were starting to give yourself a headache.
'Please don't Caleb.' you begged silently.
Their mics turned on and you watched the screen intently.
"What do you think about Casa Amor so far?" Jaiden asked him, her smile on display.
"It's something, I'm not sure if its a good or a bad thing yet." He answered her. Your hand gripped Trinity's tight.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Kayda asked for you out loud to the screen. Surely he remembered what happened the night before. The conversation, the promise, the shared vulnerability of openness and vulnerability.
"Do you currently have a connection right now back in the villa?" You held your breath.
"I do." he said. You let the breath escape.
"We actually were in the hideaway just last night together, and that's when I got the text that I had to come to Casa." he told her, his eyes suddenly shifting away from her and down at his lap.
Did he suddenly feel some remorse?
"You got a text and fucking left her in the middle of the night alone! What the fuck Caleb!" Melanie screamed at the screen.
"How did she take you having to leave?" Jaiden pressed on. You watch him hesitate and take a deep breath.
"She didn't know I left. The text said I couldn't wake her up, that I had to come straight here immediately." he explained.
"That's some fucked up shit!" Kenzie exclaimed.
It was beyond fucked up. He wasn't allowed to tell you? Was this the drama that the producers wanted to give for America to enjoy? It was a sick joke. Your heart was starting to break even more.
"So, then how do you feel being here now? Talking to me?" She asked suggestively while moving her hand closer to his that was currently placed on his lap.
"I'm not sure honestly, but I know that we are all here to explore in order to find connections. So, if I were stuck here for the next three to four days, then I need to see if there is a potential connection here, I guess." he said.
The blood in your veins went cold, the warmth in your cheeks vanished. Your hand was gripping Trinity's so hard to the point that you were shocked she wasn't whining in pain.
"Well who knows," Jaiden started and leaned closer to him.
"Maybe you'll have a new connection with me." she stated confidently. You watched as they kept the eye contact, and then she did it. She leaned in and kissed him. The worst part? He didn't push her away or pull away.
He was kissing her.
"Are fucking serious Caleb!"
"Mother fucking bitch!"
"Sweetheart my fucking ass!"
Was screamed in simultaneous rage. You couldn't even speak. The tears streaming down your face so fast that there was no point in even wiping them away. Your heart was officially broken. Caleb lied to you.
'He broke his promise.'
You continue to torture yourself as you watched them still kiss. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck, while you watched him place his hands on your waist and pull her close.
The girls moved closer to you, trying their best to comfort you.
"I am so fucking sorry, Y/n. You don't deserve this shit at all." Melanie said.
Suddenly the screen changed, there were different words now.
*Currently happening right now*
"Wait...so this was earlier today?" Jen asked everyone.
"I guess so." Aniya answered.
The screen changed, and the sob finally broke from your mouth. Your hands shake as you tried to hide your face. You didn't want your tears to be on display for America to see.
You watched as Corbin and Jaiden make out. Except they're on a bed, and except that they're alone. And she's on top of him. You watch the way they kiss in sync. His hands on her hips, moving her, guiding her.
"Turn it off." you cried out. You couldn't take it anymore, you didn't want to watch it anymore.
"Turn it the fuck off!" you screamed in heartbreak and rage. You walked away. You couldn't bear to see it. But now that you have seen it, it was going to be embedded in your brain for a long time.
You run up the stairs and into the room, landing on what was once yours and Caleb's bed. And you lied there and just cried. You cried your heart out to the point where you could barely catch your breath.
Your hands gripped the pillow tightly as you continued to sob because of the pain you were currently feeling in your heart.
'Why did he lie to me?'
'Why am I not good enough?'
'What is so bad about me?'
Your tears continued to stain the pillow. This pain was unlike anything you have ever felt. And America got to see your heart get broken in the worst way possible.
"It's going to be okay, Y/n." you felt Trinity's hand on your back as she whispered. Trying her best to console you.
"Why am I never enough Trinity?" you finally asked. The one question that has haunted you for so long.
"Why c-can't I just ever be e-enough for someone?" the sobs worsening as you moved your body to look at her. She could see how broken you were in this moment.
Your face pale, eyes swollen and puffy, tears constantly streaming down, and worse of all, you looked so broken.
"You are enough Y/n." she stated firmly. But it wasn't enough for you, and she knew that.
"But I wasn't enough for him." you sobbed.
Trinity didn't know what else to say. She couldn't say anything else because in the end, you had a point. All she could do was move herself to lie next to you and hug you close as you continued to sob in your pillow. It smelled just like Caleb.
You could only sob harder at this point.
*At Casa*
"Who are you feeling right now?" Sincere asked him as they both sat down next to each other, away from everyone else.
"Jaiden is really nice, we've been talking." Caleb answered. Sincere looked at him and made a face.
"We kissed." Caleb finally admitted. Sincere still looked at him with the 'bullshit' face.
"Fine, we made out too, but that's it." he told him. He didn't want to take things too far. Not after what happened between you and him last night.
He was so worried about you. to leave in the middle of the night and not be able to tell her killed him. And as much as it was a long shot, he hoped that she could have a little bit of understanding.
"So, as of right now, who are you connecting with more? Jaiden or Y/n? And I mean, you literally came to Casa from the damn hideaway bro." He told him. Sincere was in no position to preach after his past actions with Sol and Melanie. But he could at least try and help Caleb navigate his thoughts and feelings.
"I would say it's Y/n. But for the sake of the game, I am not going to be closed here in Casa. We need to explore and test the connections we have in order to see which is strongest." Caleb explained honestly.
"But you slept with Y/n. Not slept, SLEPT with her. Imagine how she currently feels right now?" Sincere said. Caleb would be a fool if he didn't acknowledge that. It was the best night of his life. It was something he never wanted to forget.
And then he thought of how you felt when you woke up to him being gone. Just the thought of hurting you felt bad enough, but hurting you emotionally was something he would never ever want to do to you. He hates that it had to be that way.
"And it was the best night I ever had...but I'm here. We're stuck here for three-four days. I'm not saying I need to sleep with another girl. But I should be testing my connection with Y/n. I'm sure when the new bombshells arrive, she'll be getting to know them as well." He would be lying if he said he was okay with that. But he knew that wasn't how life and reality works.
"Just be careful man." Sincere finally said after a moment of silence. "I understand with wanting to explore other people, but remember what you have done with Y/n. That shit will not go away." he finished.
Caleb sat there and let Sincere's advice settle in. The last thing he would ever want is to be the cause of your pain. He doesn't know what you're currently feeling or thinking. He's not even sure if you'll give him the time of day once you all are back in the villa.
'I'm so sorry Y/n' he thought as the previous night in the hideaway played in his head. The happiest he's ever been.
"Please forgive me." he spoke aloud. Somehow hoping that the universe would allow you to hear him.
A/N: Feedback, feedback, feedback please. I want this to be the best mini series I've ever written for you guys (& myself of course). Also, anybody else writing Caleb fics?!! I want to read too dammit!!!!!
Summary: You and Caleb get picked to go into the hideaway by America, and lets just say there was absolutely nothing to hide after that night.
Warning(s): Smut (18+, Minors do not interact), oral (female receiving), fingering, descriptive sexual acts, p in v, power play. It's VERY long (not sorry, I told you my imagination gets the best of me)
Songs that gave me inspiration to write this: Morning - Teyana Taylor ft. Kehlani, Burning Blue - Mariah the Scientist, Trading Places - Usher, Wetter - Sammie, Crazy in Love (Remix) - Beyonce, Acquainted - The Weeknd, Remind her - Eric Bellinger, Excitement - Trippie Redd & Partynextdoor, Hold Tight - Justin Bieber
"I got a text!" Kayda screamed to villa. Everyone started to cheer as they all gathered around her.
'Islanders, it is now time to send a couple to the hideaway.' Immediately screams and chants were given. It was time to decide who to send, but before a decision could be made, another text was sent, this time to you. Everyone was anxious now, what would this text say?
'Instead of the Islanders getting to choose who gets to go to the hideaway, the choice has been given to America.' you read aloud.
This changed everything. Instead of you guys picking, America got to pick, and you wondered what they had up their sleeve considering the viewers liked to be unpredictable. Another text was sent, but this time to Caleb.
"For fucks sake, just tell us already!" Trinity yelled out impatiently jumping up and down. You watched as Caleb opened his phone to read the text. He paused for a second, did a double take and then spoke the infamous words.
"Caleb and Y/n, you have been picked by America to go to the hideaway. Please get your things to leave right now."
You couldn't even get a reaction out before the girls were jumping on you and screaming their heads off. You couldn't believe this was happening. America was actually sending you to the hideaway. With Caleb.
"Oh fuck.." you started. It was hitting you now. You were about to be sent to the damn hideaway. With Caleb. And everyone knows what happens in the hideaway.
The girls could see the panic in your face and immediately rushed you to the dressing room. As you walked up the steps, you heard Caleb shout,
"Don't take too long with my girl. We got some exploring to do together." That cheeky mother fucker.
*In the dressing room*
You nervously checked yourself out in the mirror. Making sure that nothing was out of place. You wanted everything to be as perfect as possible. Thank God the girls helped you get ready, otherwise you would have been a complete mess.
"Wow.." you gasped in shock before turning around. You didn't even see him come in.
Caleb was speechless when he saw you. Your skin was glowing, under the light, your hair was down and fluffed out, and the lingerie you had on simply had him speechless. To him you were breathtaking.
"Do I look okay?" you asked him nervously, your fingers unintentionally grabbing at your thigh stocking. You could see him taking you in, absorbing this moment, and you didn't miss the way his eyes darkened when he looked back up to make eye contact with you.
"You are absolutely amazing" He spoke confidently. He held his hand out for you to take. This was it, it was time to go. He gave you a reassuring smile and pulled you closer to him once you gave him your hand.
His lips smacked onto yours. It was intense, it was steamy, and it had you ready to enter the hideaway.
"Lead the way cowboy"
*Before you entered the hideaway*
As you both walked down to the floor of the villa, you could already hear the chant of the entire crew as they cheered for you both.
"Oh shit! It's time to play,
Caleb and Y/N in the hideaway!" the boys chanted.
You couldn't help but laugh. While the hideaway was a big deal and you were internally freaking out, you were glad to get some relief before you both walked in.
"Eat that kitty,
Eat that kitty,
Eat that kitty in the hideaway!" the girls sang.
Before you could say anything Caleb scooped you up in his arms. He had your legs wrapped around his waist while his hands held you up which were unapologetically on your ass. To play along and feed into the guys excitement, you lifted up your arm and swung it in a circle.
You wouldn't be surprised if people living outside the villa could hear the screams.
"I'm ready to ride my cowboy tonight y'all!"
'You definitely will be' Caleb thought to himself before finally taking them both to the hideaway.
*In the hideaway*
You had both taken the time to go with the flow. When it was time to go to the room, then it was time, but you both didn't want to rush this moment.
"Did you honestly think we would get to this moment?" you asked him as you both sat at the edge of the hot tub while simultaneously feeding each other the chocolate strawberries that were made for you guys.
"I had no doubt we would get to this moment" he replied confidently as he wiped some chocolate off the side of your lip with his thumb gently. "What about you?" he asked, his hand now on your thigh and making sure to give you a reassuring squeeze.
"I was scared at first that we wouldn't make it in all transparency." You told him gently, almost in a whisper because you didn't want this to change the moment you two were currently having.
"Can I ask why?" he wanted to know. He wanted to see why you thought that so he could understand.
"Because when we first got coupled up together, I remember watching you put so much effort into Kenzie. And although I wanted to get to know you before, I could see that you were all in and I didn't want to get myself hurt in the process." you started off.
If there was any time to be vulnerable before things got further, it would be right now, at this moment. And although being vulnerable was something you hated to show, you and Caleb both knew how important it was to express these thoughts and feelings before you both explored each other intimately.
"But then when Kenzie didn't write you that letter and I saw how heartbroken you were, I didn't think you were going to be able to come back from that and that you were going to close yourself off for good." You explained carefully to him. You don't know what he was currently thinking right now at this moment. But you continued on.
"And then right after we got coupled up, I see you pulling Kayda for chats, and honestly it hurt. I thought this was over before it could even start because I clearly wasn't what you wanted or were looking for." you finished.
Now that you got it off your chest, it felt like you could finally breathe. you were glad to have gotten your feelings out, but you were scared of his reaction. Would this ruin the night for you both? What felt like hours of silence, finally ended when Caleb reached his hand up to your cheek to get your attention.
"I have no excuse for how I handled that." he started as his thumb began to stroke your cheek. Caleb was nervous, he didn't want to explain things in a way that could be interpreted differently. But he wanted to be honest as well.
"Yes, I was hurt by what Kenzie did, and I did try and see if I had a connection with Kayda and explore that." he paused for a second to gather his thoughts. You could see the nerves on his face that he didn't want to say the wrong thing. So you reached your hand up to his that was currently placed on your cheek and squeezed his wrist to signal that it was okay. That he could be honest with his feelings.
"But at the time, I was blind to see what was right in front of me. I didn't realize that I had you until a while ago." he explained to you.
"What made you finally realize that you wanted me?" you asked him. He hesitated, but after another gentle squeeze to his wrist for encouragement he continued.
"When I heard you talking to the girls about how you would step aside and let me explore Kayda because you wanted me to be happy. You were being so selfless at the time. And it was something that I completely admired about you from that point on. Although we are all here to find love and do what we have to do to get it, you are still stuck to your morals. You didn't change yourself just for the sake of the game." You didn't know what to say to that. You weren't sure that you could really say anything at all.
Caleb watched as the emotion flickered in your eyes to the point where it looked like you were about to cry. And at that moment, he didn't care about the objective of being in the hideaway. He just wanted to comfort YOU.
"Hey, don't cry please." he whispered as he got closer to you. You could feel his body heat immediately. It was comforting in a way.
"I just honestly didn't think you would see me in that way. I seriously thought I was going to be sent home soon." you confessed to him.
"I wouldn't let you leave. Not then and definitely not now." he stated firmly while looking you in the eye. You could feel your body slowly start to react to the intense eye contact he held with you.
"What about when its time for Casa Amor?" you asked him. You needed to know if there was any slight possibility of him changing his mind. You did not want to waste your time.
"I won't be interested in anyone else that comes in Y/n." he said.
"You say that now." you whispered and looked down, trying to not let your emotions get the best of you.
"And I'm telling you. I'm not interested in anyone else. I only want to be coupled up with you. And I plan on showing you that. But I think the real question is do you want to remain coupled up with me?" he asked.
Of course you still wanted to be coupled up with him. You're not sure that you might have given him any indication that you wanted to be coupled with someone else. But you know what you want.
"I wanted you then Caleb, and I still want you now. I just don't want to get my heart broken if you perhaps change your mind about me."
Caleb couldn't take it anymore and slowly leaned in to kiss you. Unlike other times when it was aggressive and lustful during the challenges, this one was completely different.
It was raw and emotional, and most importantly very real. When you needed to catch your breath, you slowly pulled away. Caleb couldn't help but imagine what you were like in an intimate way. He was ready to explore all of you in every way possible.
"I'm not changing my damn mind about you at all Y/n." he promised. You believed him. Deep down you knew he was telling the truth.
"Do you want to go inside?" you asked him the magic question finally, and in response he couldn't help but to give you his most infamous smile and stand both of you up and lead you to the bedroom of the hideaway.
*In the bedroom of the hideaway*
Your stomach was a ball of nerves once you both walked in. The room was just how Kayda and Zach described it. A giant, comfy bed in the center, red velvet walls, and the infamous 'open if you dare' wardrobe that had all kinds of toys, blindfolds, and other essentials.
'They really weren't kidding about this place' you thought.
Caleb watched as you sat at the edge of the bed, still in your lingerie, and still looking as beautiful as ever. In all honesty, he was ready to devour you.
You watched him take a step closer to you. The eye contact was intense and you could feel that ball of nerves deepen with every second you held the contact. It wasn't until he was directly in front of you that you had to look up at him.
You watch as he bends down on one knee to be at somewhat eye level with you. Since he was tall, he still towered over you slightly. You watched as he trailed his hand from your thigh all the way down to your ankle to give a slight squeeze of comfort and then to your toes.
The breath you were currently taking as he lifted your foot up and started to kiss at the base of your foot was cut off early. Slowly, he took his time making sure to kiss every inch that he could get his mouth on. Your leg was on fire, and you didn't expect to have this feeling just from him kissing your damn leg of all places.
"You're so fucking beautiful, you have no idea" he whispered as he got to your knee. His free hand continued to caress your other thigh as he moved his kisses up higher.
"Caleb..." you whispered breathlessly as his kisses now got to your thigh. He looked from his position, still kissing you, but making sure to look at you. To let you know that he means everything he says.
"You have no idea what you do to me." he whispered to you. Caleb didn't want to rush this moment. He wanted to take his time with you. You deserved to have a great experience, and he wanted to give you that great experience all by himself.
Just when he was about to reach your inner thigh, he pulled away and stood up. You watched as he walked over to the closet filled with toys and such things.
"What are you doing?" you asked him quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment. He stayed silent for a second, before turning around to look at you. He had a blindfold in his hand but you noticed that mischievous glint in his eye.
"Do you trust me?" he asked you as he stood back in front of you staring down. He watched as you nodded your head in response.
"I need to hear you say it, Y/n." he told you. He wanted to be absolutely sure you were okay with this. He didn't want to break your trust at all.
"I trust you." she whispered back to him. He puts the blindfold on you and all of a sudden your vision goes pitch black. The only thing you can sense and feel is the mattress underneath you.
"I got you." Caleb whispered as he guided you to lie completely on the bed.
"I'm going to take very good care of you." he promised.
You gasped as you felt him spread your legs apart. The heightened senses made you much more alert. But it was also exciting. you were ready for whatever it was that Caleb had planned. You could feel him move so that he was placed in between your legs.
The smell of his cologne reached you, signalling he was really close to you now.
"I'm so fucking lucky." he whispered to himself, although you were sure you weren't supposed to hear that, it made you feel happy. It gave you the reassurance that you've been wanting from him.
Caleb took his time admiring you. Even when blindfolded, you were still beautiful. He leaned down so that his face was close to yours. You could feel his breath on your skin which gave you goosebumps.
Suddenly you felt his lips on your forehead, then your nose, then both sides of your cheek, and then finally your lips. Both of you moved in sync as you made out. The kiss was unlike anything you've experienced before. Sure you've made out with plenty of guys, but not like this. This was much more intimate than you ever experienced.
You reached your hands up, one being placed on his shoulder, while the other felt its way up his chest and to his hair. You pulled him as close as you could to you. You wanted to feel all of him at this very moment. And when you take the chance to boldly bite his lip is when he slid his tongue into yours.
This was indescribable. It was everything and more.
Caleb pulled away after a few minutes, which at first made you pout and whine. But he kissed you reassuringly that you would get more.
"I want to taste more of you baby, let me do that please." he whispered to you. His hands caressed every inch that he could get his hands on. He was in fucking heaven. He peppered open mouthed kisses on your neck which you couldn't help but dig your fingernails in his back when he found a certain weak spot. He groaned in response, but its nothing but a little pain that he couldn't handle.
As he makes his way further down, you couldn't help but try to sneak the blindfold off to take a peak. Just before you could even catch somewhat of a glimpse, you gasped at a sudden stinging sensation on your thigh.
"Did I say you could take it off?" Caleb asked you. His thick country accent suddenly became deeper, and the wetness between your legs became more prominent.
"I'm sorry." you whispered to him.
"That's a good girl." he praised you. He couldn't help but look at how your panties were already ruined from your wetness. He grabbed both sides and slowly took them off of you while making sure to kiss the new amount of open skin.
Suddenly it hit you that he could see the most intimate part of you. Your legs closed instinctively, but before you could close them tight, his hand quickly got in the way to block it from happening.
"I don't fucking think so." he spoke. And although you couldn't see, you felt him open your legs wide open again. The cool air came into contact and your body couldn't help but react in response.
"Caleb." you gasped out. You wanted to feel him. You wanted to see him. You wanted him practically on top of you. You just wanted him to do something.
"Please." you begged desperately.
Caleb loved watching you squirm, the way your body reacted to his touch, and the way you clearly wanted him was driving him crazy. He didn't waste any more time and dove in.
You gasped when you suddenly felt his mouth on your inner thigh, very close to that spot. You bit your lip in anticipation as he got closer. The heightened sensation of his touch was almost overstimulating. Right when you had felt like you could breathe, it was ripped away and you let out a broken moan once you felt his tongue on you.
It wasn't rough, it wasn't fast, the pace was slow and sensual. Caleb couldn't help but groan the second he tasted you. He was already becoming addicted and he wanted more and more of you.
"Fuck Caleb." you moaned out loud. You didn't care how loud you were at this point. This was the sole purpose of being in the hideaway, and you both were going to take advantage. Your hands tugged on his hair as he continued to taste you, his tongue eventually coming in contact with your clit which only made you tighten your grip on his hair.
Caleb was excited, he was so ready to have his way with you, but he still wanted to taste more of you. His mouth greedily continued to taste you, making sure not to miss any spot he hasn't tasted yet. He could do this all night if you would let him.
"More please." he heard you beg as his tongue flicked around with your clit. He took it further and decided to slip a finger in. The wetness that he immediately felt awoken something in him that he had never felt. But if you were already this wet just from his tongue and fingers then he was ready to have more.
The filthy moans escaped your throat as you felt his fingers sliding in and out of you. Your hips started to involuntarily move on their own, matching the pace of his rhythm.
"That's my girl." he praised you as he took his time to explore inside you. He loved the way you looked in this moment. Vulnerable but open just for him.
His movements gained momentum which had you becoming breathless. You could feel yourself getting close. Right when you were about to beg him for more, his fingers suddenly hit a specific spot within you that had you mewling.
"F-fuck Caleb" you whined as the sensation started to get more intense.
"What baby? That feel good?" he teased as he continued his pace.
"Please don't stop." you whined, you were so close.
"I won't baby." he promised. He wanted to see you fall apart just from his fingers, and he could feel you getting so close. Right when you least expected it, that feeling in your stomach released and it was the most intense, pleasurable feeling you have ever felt.
"Caleb, fuck!" you moaned as you rode out your high on his fingers still. Your thighs were shaking and you could feel your own wetness on them.
"Fuck, you're fucking breathtaking right now." Caleb complimented you as he slowly took his fingers out of you. You could barely hear him, too dazed out from your post orgasm. Suddenly, you felt him take the blindfold off and at first you had to squint your eyes to adjust the light.
Your eyes met his as you were still recovering. His hand came up to fix any pieces of hair that were out of place. You grabbed his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. One that you didn't care if you passed out from if you couldn't breathe anymore. You wanted him so bad. You pulled away when the tightening in your chest became too much from the lack of oxygen.
"I want more of you." you told him quietly, almost afraid to speak it into the universe. He leaned down to give you another kiss.
"You're getting all of me tonight. Am I getting all of you?" he asked gently. Almost afraid that you would reject him too.
You nodded your head, but he tugged a strand of your hair, signalling that he wanted a clear answer from you.
"You're getting all of me." You promised. You watched as he took his time sliding the straps of your bra off of your shoulders. Almost as if he was unwrapping a very expensive present.
When he finally got you free of it, he immediately leaned down to put his mouth on one of your nipples. This new sensation had you in overdrive. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as your hands held his head in place.
His tongue flicked around the sensitive area and you couldn't help but let out a very loud moan once you felt him softly tug on it with his teeth gently.
"Fucking hell." you cursed. His free hand making sure to give your other boob the attention he deserved. He took his time, tasting each one, feeling each one.
"I want you inside me Caleb, please." you finally begged. You didn't want to wait any longer. You wanted to feel him so desperately. His thumb traced the edge of your lip as he stared at you like you were the most sacred thing he could ever have in this world.
"Are you sure you really want this?" As much as he wanted you as bad, he still wanted to make sure you had no hesitations. He wanted to be absolutely sure.
"Yes, I really do want this." you answered him confidently. He slowly got up from you to stand. You watched as he carefully undid the strings of his sweatpants and dragged them off. You took the moment to admire him. He was so fucking handsome, everything you wanted and more.
He watched your reaction when he finally took his boxers off. Both of you now completely bare in front of each other. There was no going back now. He watched as you took in every detail that you could of his body, the way your eyes took in everything about him.
"You're so handsome." you whispered to him. He took that moment to get on the bed and get between your legs, you could feel how hard he was. You also didn't miss the length and size of him. You could see why he walks heavy now.
'He's gonna ruin me.'
He could sense a slight nervousness within you and he decided to ease that by kissing you again. He was not going to rush this, he was not going to have this moment ruined for either of you. You were grateful that he did this first. You didn't want anything to go wrong.
Deciding to be bold you slid your hand in between your bodies and gently grabbed a hold of him. A somewhat animalistic groan escaped his throat. He wasn't going to be able to contain himself much longer.
You took your time, feeling him, getting used to his size that was currently wrapped around your hand.
"You see what you do to me, Y/n." he said as he tried to maintain his composure.
You could definitely see it. You saw everything that you were doing to him. You guided him to your entrance, making sure to at least get your wetness on his tip. He was thick, and you couldn't help but make a tiny gulp as you realized what this man was truly about to do to you.
"We're gonna go slow." he told you. He did not want any room for error, he wanted to make sure everything went right. Caleb was not going to mess this up for you both.
"You tell me the second you get uncomfortable." he demanded. You nodded your head and for once he took that as an answer. You were honestly afraid to speak at this moment. But you were ready. Beyond ready for him.
He distracted you with kisses, kisses on your lips, down to your neck and chest to help you feel comfortable. You were thankful for that. When he came back to kiss you again is when he slowly began to penetrate you.
He was so fucking thick. There was a slight sting that you couldn't help but let out a sound of shock mixed with slight pain and pleasure. He was going to fucking ruin you, and he was barely inside of you.
"Fuck." Caleb cursed as he felt your tightness begin to surround him as he slowly began to stretch your walls out. He was already addicted to you, and now that he knows what you feel like on the inside, he was never going to let you fucking go.
He heard you let out a whimper as he continued to slowly stretch you out. He looked at you, making sure you were okay, and when you signaled him to keep going, he took that chance to get his entire length inside of you.
You felt beyond full. So full that you could hardly breath. Caleb was no different. He could feel your walls clamping down on him, pulsing around his tip which if he wasn't careful, he would be cumming early. Your nails dug into his skin even more as you became more aware of how deep he was inside you. He took that moment to stay still, giving you the time you need to adjust. But how could you adjust with a size like this?
You leaned up to kiss his shoulder, and wrapped your legs tight around his waist which made him shift inside you.
"Don't move." he commanded. His hands held you still as he did his best to compose himself still.
"You can move Caleb. It's okay, I'm ready now. Please." And since you finally gave him the reassurance he needed, he took that moment to pull himself slightly out but then immediately pushed himself back in.
The moan you made had him go feral and he gradually picked up the pace. He watched the facial expressions you would make. The one that drove him crazy was when your eyes would roll to the back of your head and you could barely get a word out.
He wasn't one to talk either. Each time his hips gently smacked into you, he felt how tight you were and couldn't help but groan at how your walls suffocated his dick. He took your wrists in your hands and placed them above you, pinning you so you couldn't move.
"You feel so fucking amazing baby." he moaned as he continued his sinful thrusts. You moaned in response as he continued to hit a particular spot within you that made you go crazy. Your legs only wrap around his waist tighter since you couldn't move your hands at all.
"Please don't stop." you begged him. You never wanted this feeling to go away, you never wanted this moment to end. You had given Caleb the most sacred part of you, and now that he had it, you didn't want him to let you go.
"Woah!" you gasped as he suddenly flipped you two over so that you were now on top and him beneath you. You looked at him a little lost while he only smirked at you in return.
"You said you were going to ride your cowboy right? Saddle up baby, your cowboy is waiting." he said cheekily. His hands immediately grasp onto your hips.
You start slow, rolling your hips back and forth to find yourself a good rhythm. Caleb was in absolute heaven. He watched every little move, sound, and facial expression that you made. His hands continue to guide your hips while occasionally reaching down to squeeze a handful of your ass.
"You look so fucking beautiful like this baby." he praised you. You couldn't help but blush at the compliment. It made you feel so good about yourself in this moment with him.
You switched up the pace, this time circling your hips at a specific angle that had him touching that certain spot.
"Shit." you muttered as you felt that spot continued to get penetrated.
"Feel good baby?" Caleb asked. You nodded your head while linking your hands with his. Fingers interlocking. You were going to make this man cum just like this you decided.
Using his hands as leverage, you lift your hips up to where he was halfway inside of you and bounce back down on him. Caleb could've come right then and there. The way you continued to bounce up and down as he felt the tip of his dick touch that spot that drives you crazy. He could feel himself getting so close.
"Fuck baby, keep going." he begged you. A fire was lit inside you. You wanted him to beg like that more often. You loved the feeling it gave you. You continued to bounce on him, the very tip still kissing that spot within you and you could feel yourself getting closer.
"Fuck, I'm close." you whispered breathlessly as you continued to ride him. Your hands squeezing his for some extra comfort.
He took that moment to release his hands from yours and grabbed your hips, taking control of your pace. He slammed you back down on him, his dick entering fully inside you where you could barely get a moan out.
His hips relentlessly smack into you and the moans that escaped your mouth only pushed him to go harder. Caleb was never going to forget this moment. This was a picture that was now embedded in his memories forever. Your eyes closed shut and your face dripping in pleasure because of him.
"Fuck I'm cumming Caleb!" she screamed as her walls clamped down on him. Caleb couldn't help but cum inside her at that moment, his thick release drenching her walls as they pulsed around his dick. Both were in orgasmic bliss.
Your body gave out and you landed on top of him, both worn out, bodies sweaty, and out of breath. You took that moment to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He looked amazing like this.
"You were so fucking amazing baby." he praised you. His hands unable to stop touching you.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked you. You smiled and gave him a reassuring 'yes' and placed your head on his chest. Still taking in the recent events of what just occurred between you both.
"Don't get too comfortable baby, we're going again in about ten minutes." He told you.
You looked up at him to see if he was joking, but he was indeed not. He gave you that handsome smirk of his and pulled you as close to him as you could.
"I told you. I'm having my way with you all night." he promised.
And dear God did he live up to that promise.
A/n: You're welcome. To avoid burnout, please be patient as I take my time posting other stuff.
Summary: You've liked Caleb since he first walked in here, but he got coupled up with Kenzie, and no matter how hard you tried to talk to him, your conversations would just always get interrupted. Then after Casa, movie night comes and you weren't expecting to see yourself on the screen.
Warning(s): Bit of angst throughout the beginning and middle but fluff towards the end.
You had noticed him since the beginning. When he walked in, he caught your eye immediately. Someone you definitely wanted to get to know and explore. And when it was your turn to kiss him, it only solidified your answer.
And while you did your best to get to know him more, you just couldn't seem to get away from everyone else without being interrupted. Like now for example, he had been the one to pull you for a chat first. You were more than happy to say yes. He had taken you to sit at "All the feels" and sat you down right next to him to where you were nearly touching him.
"Thank you for letting me pull you for a chat." he said, his handsome smile on display.
"Thank you for pulling me in the first place." you smiled back, happy to finally speak to him. Your body relaxes into the pillows.
"I would like to get to know you better, so, start from the beginning, what do you do for a living, your favorite hobby, anything and everything." he asked, his arm coming to place itself behind you on the edge of the couch.
"I'm a middle school teacher, I teach English, and I haven't left since so, it is something I am very proud to continue on throughout my career." you started off saying, your body becoming more relaxed as you spoke to him.
"I have two dogs, a pitbull and a shih tzu, very different and a random pair to have, but it honestly works cause my pitbull is a big wuss, while my shih tzu thinks he's the boss." you both laughed.
"As for hobbies, I would say mainly reading in my spare time, spending as much time as I can with friends and family when I have the opportunity to do so, and exploring new places I've never been to before." you finished. You watched as he took in every word you spoke, that same smile still plastered on his face. It gave you hope.
"Tell me about yourself, I want to know whatever I can about you." you told him, leaning in closer so that you could hear everything clearly.
"Well," he started and adjusted himself so he was more comfortable.
"I'm an elevator mechanic, and I don't have any animals-" suddenly he was cut off by another voice.
"I am so sorry to interrupt, but Y/n, is it okay if I steal Caleb for a chat please." Kenzie asked.
You had tried to hide the disappointment in your face. While you wanted to say no on the spot, you didn't want to come off as rude and disrespectful. You looked at Caleb and gave him a small smile, not the bright and full of life one that you gave him earlier. You nodded your head at Kenzie.
"Sure...go ahead." you told her softly and walked away. She smiled at you in appreciation as you walked past her. You could feel Caleb's eyes on you, but you didn't want to look back because then it would only make you feel worse.
At the night of the recoupling, you were taken aback when Ariana announced that America wanted to pair Kenzie up with Caleb. It had hurt because while you could understand that this was America's decision, it started to make you doubt if Caleb would ever be interested in you.
Because after that night, he was one hundred percent dedicated to Kenzie. He had made her breakfast, had conversed with her almost everyday and was almost always by her side. It was painful to watch. You were paired up with Corbin and while he was handsome, you knew this was something that would not work. Especially since he was still caught up on Kenzie.
You watched them from a distance, both sitting on one of the couches together by the pool. Both looking at each other and touching each other. The ache in your heart only got deeper as you continued to watch them. Suddenly, Caleb looked up and his eyes suddenly met yours.
Your eyes widened, not realizing that you were caught staring. You tried to play it off and gave him a small smile in which he returned with the famous one that had you fall for him in the first place. You turned away after a couple seconds, not wanting to look anymore. You got up from your seat and walked away to head towards the dressing room, needing some space away from everyone. Only you didn't realize that someone was watching you the whole time until you were no longer in sight.
Then it was a recoupling night, only the objective was you'd get coupled based on who wrote who a love letter. You wanted to write to Caleb. You honestly did, but you know he had put all his eggs in one basket and was going to write to Kenzie. So, you did what you thought would make sense and you wrote to Corbin.
Only to be shocked and to find out that while Caleb wrote to Kenzie, Kenzie did not write him back. She had written her letter to Corbin. You couldn't believe your eyes. The pain in Caleb's eyes was so prevalent that he couldn't even try to hide it. In the end Caleb and you were coupled up, but it didn't feel like a victory. Not at all.
"I'm very sorry.." you whispered to him. It was after everyone had left and it was just you and him sitting on the couch.
"It's okay..I should've known better considering she would always mention how she would pull him for chats." he said while looking down at his boots.
"You don't deserve that though when you've been completely honest with her about how you felt." you told him, being careful with your words as you didn't want him to sense your distaste. He looked up you, and you could see the pain in his eyes. If only you could be the reason that he smiled.
"I'm sorry about you and Corbin." you shrugged it off, not feeling bothered in the slightest.
"I'm not.." you told him. "I just didn't like him that way, I knew he was still into Kenzie, and plus I like someone else."
"Who?" he asked. Shit. You didn't mean to say that comment. Not at all.
"What?" you asked, playing dumb while suddenly taking an interest in your hands.
"You said you liked someone else...who is it?" he asked, curious to know who. You paused, you could either say it now or not say it all. You took a deep breath.
"Um...it's-"
"I hate that I keep being the one to interrupt, but Y/n is it okay if I pull Caleb for a chat." Kenzie asked. Again.
You let out a frustrated sigh, maybe it just wasn't meant to be spoken into the universe. Maybe this was a sign that the universe was telling you that you and Caleb just aren't meant to be.
"He's all yours." you finally said. You looked at Caleb one last time, giving him a smile that almost reciprocated itself as a goodbye. A goodbye for now? Or a goodbye forever? You didn't know, but you walked and kept walking, the tears streaming down your face.
Then Casa came around. You hated Casa, you wanted nothing to do with Casa, and the way the boys suddenly disappeared was only adding to the cherry on top. But then the heart rate challenge was suddenly live streamed. And you were all pissed.
You watched the way Caleb interacted with those girls. Touching them, kissing them, letting them touch him. It was unbearable to look at. So much that you had to walk away.
"Y/n, do not let this break you." Melanie came up to you, immediately pulling you close to her in comfort.
"I can't take this shit anymore Melanie. I hate this. I can never be the one that is picked. I always get picked then fucked over." you told her while holding in your tears.
"I know babe, but you can't let this get the best of you. If you and Caleb are meant to be then it will happen." she told you. But you shook your head.
"Everytime I have tried to speak to him, I get interrupted. Every time I try to connect with him, challenges always happen. I had yet to even kiss him outside of a challenge. He's not going to think about me while he's in there Melanie and that's just how it is." you told her.
*Movie Night*
It was movie night. You were honestly not looking forward to it.
The night the boys had gotten back from Casa, was a day you never wanted to experience again. You had chosen to couple up with Gal for the sake of playing it safe. Because deep down you knew that Caleb was going to walk in with someone else. And you were right. Cause he walked in with a girl named Jaiden.
And since that night, you have had to endure the sigh of both them being together. Here and there you and Caleb would catch sight of each other and smile. And sometimes he would try and pull you for a chat, but you would find an excuse to walk away and act like someone else was looking for you.
Now here you guys were, watching certain scenes that were filmed throughout your time here at the villa and at casa. Secrets and lies being exposed, heated arguments between certain people, and lots and lots of tension in the air that made it hard to even breathe.
"Boys turn to flip." Corbin got up and grabbed the card that was labeled 'boys' on one side and 'girls' on the other side. You all watched as he threw it up in the air, it flipped in a circle two times then landed on the side of the girls. There were only four options left to pick.
"We pick seven." Kayda said for the girls. The countdown appears and you all waited in anticipation for what was to appear.
Suddenly you see yourself appear. Your face scrunches up in confusion.
'What the hell did I do?'
Then it showed Caleb. It was the first time he had pulled you for a chat.
'Fuck.'
-Scene 1-
"I'm an elevator mechanic, and I don't have many animals-" suddenly he was cut off by another voice.
"I am so sorry to interrupt, but Y/n, is it okay if I steal Caleb for a chat please." Kenzie asked.
The screen stays on you, you're walking away to the dressing room. You couldn't believe the producers had done this. They were officially messy as fuck.
You walk in to see Trinity and Melanie standing there, getting their pajamas on.
"Are you okay babe?" They asked simultaneously.
You shook your head, giving them a defeated look. Your eyes looking down at your feet to hide the disappointment. They immediately come to your side.
"Kenzie pulled Caleb for a chat while I was having a conversation with him.." you told them still looking down.
"I remember that day." you heard one of the boys whisper. Who it was, you weren't;t sure. But you didn't care.
"It was mid-conversation and as much as I wanted to say no, I didn't want to be rude and disrespectful. So I let her pull him. But I feel so stupid now for doing that. Cause he's going to like Kenzie, I already know it." you confirmed sadly, already accepting the fact that Caleb was not interested in you.
"But babe you don't know that." Trinity said. You shook your head, trying to keep your emotions in check.
"It's obvious Trinity. I mean, America literally brought him in for her. What was I thinking that he would like me." you told them sadly. The heartbreak in your face only getting more deeper by the second.
All the girls could do was hug you.
-End of Scene 1-
You stared in shock at the screen. Unable to process that this was actually being shown to everyone here and even for America to see.
Then another scene popped up. It was the night of the recoupling of the letters.
-Scene 2-
It showed you and Caleb being interrupted again by Kenzie. Only after that, the camera followed you as you walk all the way to the dock.
"I'm such a fucking idiot." you said to yourself. Your hands coming up to grab at your hair in frustration. The tears finally falling.
You could feel him staring straight at you. But you didn't dare to look at him.
"Why, why the fuck do I have to like him." you whispered to yourself angrily. Not wanting anyone to hear you. The tears continued to stream past your cheeks.
"Oh my God..." you heard Melanie whisper, her hands automatically grabbing yours to comfort you. The camera is still on you.
"You're gonna be okay...you'll be okay." you whispered to yourself. Your hands grip the edge of the dock tightly.
You reached down into your pocket and pull out a piece of paper.
Only its not a paper, its a letter, and the camera zooms in on the name that is written. The letter that you wrote to Caleb. Only you never gave it to him.
"Holy shit.." you heard the boys gasp. They all stared at the screen in shock, they had no idea you felt this way for Caleb. And all Caleb could do was watch as well.
You look at it hard for a few seconds then suddenly start ripping it up. Your cries turning into sobs as you watch the pieces fall down past the dock. When you have no more paper in your hands, you sink down to the floor, sobbing into your hands.
-End of Scene 2-
"I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." you heard Kenzie whisper to you. She didn't realize how much you had truly liked him. But you didn't respond. Too shocked and frozen to even make a move.
"Did you know about this Caleb?" you heard Zach ask him. You didn't look over at him. You wouldn't. Not when you were put in a very vulnerable position.
"No I didn't..." was all you heard him say.
-Scene 3-
It was you, Melanie and Trinity sitting on the couch outside. You looked like a wreck. Your eyes had no emotion, and the dark circles from a lack of sleep were not hidden.
The grip you had on Melanie's hand tightened significantly. You couldn't believe they were showing this scene.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Melanie muttered under her breath.
"Are you okay, my love?" Melanie asked you softly, careful to use her words wisely. You slowly shook your head, your eyes catching sight of him and Jaiden.
You quickly look away and turn back to face both girls. All you could do was shake your head no. If you spoke you would only start crying again.
"I don't know if I should be here any longer guys..." you told them softly. "I think its time for me to go home."
"No absolutely not." both girls protested as they both moved to sit on either side of you and pull you in for a hug.
"You're not going home Y/n. You can't go home, its not time yet." they told you. But all you could do was deny what they were saying.
"What's the damn point." You finally spat out.
"There's no fucking reason why I should still be here. Gal wants to go explore other girls which is fine by me. But I can't stay here and continue to watch the guy I like to connect with someone that he clearly wants to be with. I can't keep watching that everyday. My heart can't take it anymore." you finally broke and admitted.
"I can't continue to be here when I clearly have no connection, and that the one person I want clearly doesn't want me." you cried out angrily.
"This is fucking hard to watch.." you heard Carl whisper aloud.
"I just want to go home.." You continued to cry into their arms. "I don't want to be here when I'm clearly not wanted." you said brokenly. All the girls could do was comfort you in that moment.
-End of Scene 3-
Your mouth was dry. Your body was stiff. You couldn't believe what the screen had just shown you. This was supposed to be exposing other couples who had drama and secrets to expose. Why the fuck did they show this. Was it to make a fool out of you? To be a laughing stock for America.
"Y/n....are you okay?" Dylan asked from the other side. Everyone could see how uncomfortable and exposed you felt. You looked around the room, your mouth opening but no sound coming out.
Then your eyes suddenly meet Caleb's. He was staring right at you. Trying to decipher what your body language was trying to say. Then your eyes landed on Jaiden who was staring right at you. A blank expression on your face. You felt so exposed. You couldn't take the embarrassment you felt in that moment.
So, you got up and walked away.
Ignoring the calls of your name from several people. You didn't once look back. You refused.
*Later that night*
You had changed into your pajamas immediately but made your way back to the dock. It was the only place that you could somewhat feel alone and get some peace.
The others were still downstairs, still in the same clothes. But you didn't pay them any attention.
Your face was buried into your hands as you continued to cry. You hated that you just got exposed. You hated how those scenes made you look in what you thought, as an embarrassment. You wouldn't be surprised if Caleb wanted absolutely nothing to do with you at this point. Friendship or not.
It only made you cry harder at the thought. Maybe now, this was the time to really go home. To not have to deal with anymore embarrassment. You didn't hear the footsteps that approached you as you were too engulfed in your own thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me." your head snapped up, your eyes coming into contact with Caleb's. He was still in his same clothes from earlier. Still handsome as ever.
"What are you doing here?" you asked him, ignoring the fact that you looked like a hot mess. "You need to go be with Jaiden right now." you told him, your eyes looking back down at your knees.
"I'm here though." he told you firmly. You watched from your peripheral as he took a seat next to you. Enough to have some space between you.
"Why didn't you tell me Y/n?" he asked again. "I think I have a right to know." he told you, trying to keep his voice soft enough so that you would still talk to him and not shut down.
"Does it really matter at this point?" you asked him bluntly. Eyes still looking down, not wanting to look at him.
"I think it does." he said to you. "It would help me understand."
"Understand what?" you finally looked up at him. Your voice becoming firm even though tears still formed in your eyes.
"You clearly understand what is going on based on those damn clips. What else do you need to understand about it Caleb." You snapped. You didn't want to continue to still make a fool out of yourself like you already felt.
"I need to understand why you didn't say anything. Why didn't you tell me or couldn't." he begged softly, trying to get the answers he needed,
"When could I have told you Caleb?" You asked him, your voice still holding some embarrassment.
"Everytime we talked, we would get interrupted. Everytime I was about to tell you, we would get interrupted. Then Casa came and you walked out with Jaiden. I was not going to humiliate myself anymore than I already have. I'd rather go through the pain of not getting to have you than be rejected by you." you told him. Your voice cracked here and there.
"If you would have told me-" he said.
"If I would have told you what?" you cut him off.
"What would have happened?" you asked him rudely. Standing up from your seat and now standing in front of him.
"What would you have done Caleb? What would that have changed?" you demanded from him. He suddenly stood up and for a second you forgot how tall he was and had to take a step back because he was very close to you now.
Suddenly it became clear that he was standing directly in front of you. Very, very close to you. To the point where his chest was practically touching yours. He stares down at you, eyes stuck on you and not budging to the point where it was making you nervous. He slowly leaned his head down.
"It would have changed everything Y/n." he told you firmly. Your face changes to one of confusion.
"I don't understand." you told him taking a step back, but before you could move, his hand had reached out to grab a hold of your wrist. Gently holding you in place, but still giving you the option to move away if you wanted.
"You telling me how you felt would have changed everything because then I wouldn't have brought Jaiden. I would've come back to you." he stated. His voice not showing hesitation.
"Don't." you told him. Your heart not being able to take what you thought was a facade.
"Don't say what you don't mean Caleb." you told him. The tears falling as you try to ignore the inconsistent beat of your heart.
"I am saying what I mean." he told you. Pulling you closer to him so that your body was actually touching his now. You couldn't breathe. Your senses are becoming overstimulated.
"I wanted to come back to you. I wanted to be with you before we even had to go to Casa. But you never showed any sign Y/n." he started off. You get ready to respond but he beat you to it.
"Please shut up and let me finish." he told you. Your mouth closes on the spot.
"Everytime we got interrupted, I would try and come back to find you. But you were either somewhere else or talking to someone else. There was not a time where I didn't try to pull you. And when I would try and find a way to talk to you, you would walk the other way. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me." he explained. His face showing the same vulnerability you felt this whole time since the start of movie night.
"So I gave you your space, and then when I saw the post card. The picture of you smiling at Gal, the way you would smile at me when we first started talking. I thought there was no way in hell you were going to want to couple up with me again. So, I did what I could and what I thought was the right thing to do so I wouldn't be single. I brought Jaiden. But that doesn't mean that I have once thought of you Y/n. I think of you every damn day." he finished explaining.
You were shocked. The words were processed in your brain but were taking their time to sink into your system. You didn't know what to think or feel in that moment. But you were so overstimulated that it was hard to even form a coherent thought.
"I...I can't think right now." you told him honestly. With his body still touching yours, his hand still on your wrist, and his confession that you weren't expecting had you spiraling in your head.
"I'm sorry." was all he could say in that moment. He didn't mean to overwhelm you.
"Why are you now telling me this?" you asked him, your voice barely even above a whisper. But he heard it.
"Should I have not told you at all and let you leave?" he asked you. He had a point. If there was a time, then at least now was the time.
"I don't know." was all you could say. The shock of his confession sinking in.
"What does this mean?" you asked him hesitantly.
"It means we give our connection a shot. We try until we can't anymore. If it works out then it does, if it doesn't, then we can at least say we tried." he told you gently. His grip on your wrist starts to tighten enough to where you couldn't easily escape him.
"But what if we don't work?" you asked him, your compulsive thoughts getting the best of you.
"We will." he stated confidently.
"How do you know though?" you asked him.
"Because I know." he told you.
"But-"
"Y/n would you just please shut up so I can kiss you already." he demanded softly. Your mouth shut again. He wanted to kiss you. And he didn't hold back.
When he leaned down, his lips immediately connected with yours in a soft kiss. A small gasp escaped, not expecting the intense feeling you got from this. His mouth continued to move with yours softly. His hand letting go of your wrist, and reaching down to wrap around your waist.
His free hand grabs your hand and places it on his chest. Grounding you in this moment. Holy shit. You were actually kissing Caleb. Caleb was kissing you. Most importantly, his feelings for you were reciprocated.
Your hand on his chest moved up to reach the nape of his neck. Your other hand on his forearm, squeezing softly. Your mouths continued to move in sync, never pulling apart and never letting each other go.
When you both need air is when he pulls away. His head is leaning down to touch yours. Both of you are slightly out of breath, but your hands stay exactly where they are on each other.
"Stay with me." he told you, his hands squeezing at your waist.
"Don't leave. Stay with me, Y/n." he begged softly, his eyes showing the love and adoration that you had craved to see from the moment you met him. Your eyes stay looking at his, your grip on him tightening each second.
"Okay" you whispered.
A/N: I think this was a good idea to write about. I thought about it right after tonight's episode and then boom wrote this in about two hours. Feedback, feedback, feedback! That's what keeps me writing for you guys!
She said, "I've had a hell of a summer. So, baby, don't take this hard, but maybe we should get an annulment before this goes way too far."
The challenge had finally ended, everyone laughing and sharing kisses. Not me. I smiled when I had to, clapped when it was needed, and joked with my girls.
But every time I blinked, all I could see was His hands on Kenzie's waist. How easy and natural it looked. How they complemented each other so well.
By the time we were getting ready for the evening, I was unusually quiet, stuck in my head. Sitting criss-crossed on the day beds, picking my nails. Aniya noticed me first.
"You okay?" I glance up at her, moving over so she can sit down. "Yeah, I'm okay." Jen walked over to us, sitting on the other side of me. "Girl, are you sure? You look like you're going through it."
I laugh softly, "I'm literally okay, guys." "The fake laugh gave it away..." Jen deadpanned.
Silence settled between us before I sighed deeply. ".....Can I sound crazy for a second?" Aniya immediately scooted closer. "Of course, baby." I looked down at my hands. "When Caleb kissed Kenzie..." I stop. Jen and Aniya glanced at each other. "Like I know it's just a challenge..."
"It is." Jen nodded. I smiled tightly. "I know...It's just. She's literally his type." Aniya frowned. "What do you mean?" "I mean, look at her," I said, gesturing towards Kenzie, who was having a talk with Caleb as we spoke. "She looks like his exact type," I said as my voice got smaller.
"Then there's me..." Aniya's face softened. "Girl..." I shook my head. "No, seriously, like it might sound stupid, but I've been in my head about it since the challenge."
"Like, it just made me realize...that if Caleb walked into a room with 10 girls.. I'm probably not the one he'd pick." Aniya looked personally offended. "Girl, who the fuck put that idea in your head?" I shrugged. "No one, It's just... I dont look like his ideal type." Jen grabbed my hand. "Girl, stop. Do you know how he looks at you?"
Aniya adds, "Literally, he follows you around anywhere you go." I smiled faintly. "You guys have to say that." "No, we dont," Jen said before Aniya spoke, "I think you should tell him." My eyes widened. "Hell no."
"Why?" Jen said, playing with one of my braids. "Because I'll sound insecure..." "You are insecure...?" I groaned. "Ugh dont say it out loud." Aniya hugged me before standing up. "Caleb can't fix something he doesnt know is broken, girl..." Before walking away, leaving me and Jen cuddling.
Later that night, while everyone was getting ready for bed, Aniya found Caleb at the kitchen island making something to drink.
"I need to tell you something." She said quietly, causing Caleb to look up, confused. "Yeah?" Aniya looked around before she spoke, "Your girl's in her head..." His smile disappeared. "What happened?" Aniya shrugged her shoulders. "It wasn't something you did. But that challenge..." He squinted his eyes. "The kiss?" She nodded. "She thinks Kenzies is more of your type...You should go talk to her."
I sat alone on the dock, basking in the sun, still in my head about everything, when I didn't hear Caleb sit next to me. I only noticed him when he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side. "You okay?" He asked me. I stared at his face for a moment before answering, "Yeah, I'm fine." We held eye contact as his hand came to my face, moving a stray boho piece out of my line of view. "Talk to me, baby."
I broke eye contact as I stared into the water. " It's stupid," I mumbled, playing with my ring. "I'll decide that." I laughed softly before speaking. "I hated watching you kiss Kenzie." I bit my lip. Caleb blinked. "It was a challenge."
"I know..." I sigh. "So what's really bothering you?" He said, confused. I hesitated before speaking, "She just looks... more your type... and I don't." I say, closing my eyes, leaning my head on his bicep. It goes quiet for a while.
I sigh, becoming self-conscious, "See, I told you it sounds dumb." Suddenly, I felt him grab my chin and turn my head towards him. "Listen, I dont know who made you feel like your competeing with Kenzie, but you're not." I opened my mouth to talk, but he cut me off. "I'm serious. I kissed Kenzie because of a challenge, that's it." He reached for my hand, interlocking them.
"When we were sitting around the fire pit, I was looking at you. When I wake up, I'm looking for you. When something happens your the first person I want to tell." His thumb rubbed over my knuckles. "So why are you acting like one kiss changed that?"
I looked down. "It just feels like... If we were outside of the villa, you wouldn't even look my way." Caleb laughed in disbelief. "You can not be serious." I huff, throwing my head back. "I am." I drag out my sentence.
He stares at me, confused. "Baby." The nickname made my body warm. "If we met outside...I'd notice you before I notice anyone else." I frowned. "You dont have to say that to make me feel better."
"I'm saying it because it's true, Y/n. When I first came into the villa, you were the first person I laid eyes on. I picked you because you make life just flow so effortlessly; you make everything peaceful."
Our foreheads rested against each other's. "I dont care if another girl comes in here checking every box people think I'd want; I chose you." His voice dropped into a soft whisper, "And until you say otherwise, I'm going to continue choosing you."
I smiled, finally feeling like I'm not holding my breath, I can't breathe, "So I'm being dramatic?" He grinned, "Just a little bit." I smacked his arm as I finally let out a real laugh. He laughed before catching my hand and bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss on my knuckles.
"And for the record.. I dont have a type." I raised my eyebrows in curiosity. "No?" He shrugged. "I do now." He smiled. "It's you." I smiled so hard with all of my 32, as I leaned in to kiss him.
▶︎ y/n y/l/n has an annoyingly good looking neighbor that also goes to the same university as her, yet as many times as she tried to talk to him, he blocks her away. but she doesn't give up to make him smile.
Living in New York City while actually attending university was nothing like the glossy film strips shown in movie theaters, the kind where everything looks soft, golden, and effortlessly romantic. There was no affordable, sunlit apartment with reliable hot water, no lazy weekends spent at some vintage café eating overpriced brunch while laughing about last night’s hookups. That version of New York barely existed. Maybe it did, but not here.
The reality was harsher, sharper around the edges. It was survival dressed up as ambition. You either smiled tightly and said, “I love it here,” even after nearly getting mugged on your way home, or you admitted quietly, reluctantly that the city was chewing you up. There was no in-between. That was New York.
Y/N had been living here for five years now. Five years of crowded subways, dinners, and conversations with self-proclaimed “real New Yorkers” who never failed to remind her: “You’re not a New Yorker. Five years? That’s nothing. You have no idea—”
She had heard it all.
Still, she liked it here. Not in the romanticized way people imagined, but in a stubborn, grounded way. It was better than the small town she came from: different, louder, more unforgiving, but alive in a way that place had never been.
She moved to the city to study psychology, picking up a few photography courses on the side because it was the only creative outlet she could realistically afford. At university, she found her way into conversations easily, slipping into discussions about music or movies, just enough to secure a spot during trivia nights or group hangouts. She was a people person, the kind who wasn’t afraid to walk into a room and make herself known. Not by shouting, necessarily but she could. If she had to.
More often, it was her energy. The easy smile, the willingness to debate something trivial like whether autumn was actually the best season or completely overrated for a vibe that lasted, at best, four weeks.
But there was one person who didn’t seem impressed by any of that.
Peter Parker.
Her neighbor. One floor below.
Y/N had first met him when she went to pick up a package he had signed for three days earlier. At the time, she thought he was ridiculously cute. Curly brown hair, freckles scattered across his nose like constellations, the kind of face that made you do a double take. Cute. Or hot. Honestly, it depended on the angle.
“You have my package!” Y/N said brightly, standing in the hallway in an oversized Ferris Bueller’s Day Off T-shirt.
Peter barely opened the door, peering at her with an exhausted expression. “I do?”
“Well, I got the email saying you picked it up… three days ago,” she replied, still smiling.
He stared at her for a second, then turned without another word, disappearing back into his apartment. Y/N leaned ever so slightly, curiosity getting the better of her as she tried to glance inside but before she could make out anything, Peter reappeared, holding the box out to her.
“Here.”
She flinched a little, startled, before laughing it off. “Ah—great! Thanks. I’m Y/N, by the way. Your neighbor. Upstairs.”
Peter nodded once. “Cool.”
“Cool,” she echoed awkwardly, adjusting her grip on the package. Her eyes dropped to his hoodie, catching the familiar university logo. Her face lit up. “Empire State? I go there too!”
Peter pressed his lips together, like he was debating whether to respond at all.
He hadn’t always been like this.
There was a time when Peter Parker was easy to talk to, when he carried a kind of warmth that naturally drew people in. He used to laugh more, speak faster, ramble about things he loved—Star Wars, half-baked theories about shows he watched with Ned, little details that made him feel… alive.
That version of him felt like a different person now.
Ever since his life had been rewritten, since the spell that made the world forget who he was—being Peter Parker felt… distant. Like trying to wear a name that no longer fit. He moved through life quietly, carefully, as if any misstep might remind the universe he wasn’t supposed to exist like this.
Spider-Man, though… that was different.
Spider-Man had purpose.
In the years after everything changed, he built himself into something the city could rely on. When chaos broke out, he was there. When danger surfaced, he faced it head-on. He had been there during the uprising against Fisk, there when the streets turned volatile, there every time New York needed someone to step in.
The city knew Spider-Man.
But Peter Parker?
Peter Parker could barely hold a conversation that lasted two minutes. Standing in that hallway, looking at Y/N—bright, open, so effortlessly present, he felt that familiar disconnect settle in his chest.
“Yeah,” he said finally, voice flat. “I know’’
Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. She let out a small laugh, a little too quick, a little too hopeful, brushing a hand through her hair. “Really?—I mean, how come you never talk t—”
Peter pointed down at her feet. “You wear their socks.”
Y/N blinked. Then she looked down. Bright yellow socks. Empire State University logo. Slightly mismatched, one stretched more than the other. She nodded slowly, like she was processing devastating news. “Right.” A beat passed. “Well,” she said, lifting her head again, forcing a smile back onto her face, “in my defense, they were free.”
Peter leaned against the doorframe, completely unmoved. “Yeah. That tracks.”
She squinted at him. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said flatly, “you look like someone who’d get excited over free socks.”
Y/N placed a hand over her chest, mock-offended. “Wow. Okay. First of all, I do get excited over free things. That’s just financially responsible.”
“Sure.”
“And second of all,” she continued, gesturing between them, “this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had, and you’re using it to bully me.”
“I’m not bullying you,” Peter said. “I’m observing.”
“Observing?” she echoed.
“Yeah.”
“Like a scientist?”
He shrugged. “More like… someone stuck in a hallway.”
Y/N stared at him, then let out a short laugh, shaking her head. “You’re unbelievable.”
“I’ve been told worse.”
“I’m sure you have,” she shot back, shifting the package in her arms. “Do you always talk like this, or am I just lucky?”
“You’re lucky.”
“Wow,” she deadpanned. “I feel honored.” Another pause settled between them but this one felt different. Less awkward. Almost… intentional. Y/N rocked slightly on her heels, glancing past him into his apartment again before catching herself. “So… you knew I go to Empire State because of my socks.”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve just… never said anything.”
“No.”
“Not even like a ‘hey, same university’ kind of thing?”
Peter shook his head once. “Didn’t seem necessary.”
She let out an incredulous laugh. “You are so weird.”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah.”
Y/N studied him for a second, really looked at him this time. The tired eyes, the way he held himself like he was halfway out the door even when he was standing still. Then she smiled again. Softer now, but just as stubborn. “Well,” she said, adjusting her grip on the box, “I talk enough for two people, so I think this could work.”
Peter raised an eyebrow. “This?”
“Yeah. This whole… neighbor situation.”
“We already are neighbors.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t.”
She sighed dramatically. “Of course you don’t.”
Peter pushed himself off the doorframe slightly, already inching back toward the safety of his apartment. “Anything else?”
Y/N glanced down at her package, then back at him. “…No.”
“Cool.”
“But,” she added quickly, stepping back before he could close the door, “I’ll probably see you around. Since, you know—same building, same school, same free sock community.”
Peter stared at her. “…Okay.”
She grinned. “Okay—- bye!” Y/N said quickly, turning on her heel and speed-walking down the hallway like she hadn’t just completely embarrassed herself.
Peter watched her go for a second. Then quietly shut the door. “…Free socks,” he muttered to himself.
After that interaction five years ago, it never really changed. Not in the way people expected things to change. There was no slow-burn friendship, no sudden deep conversations at 2 a.m., no “we actually got close over time” kind of story. It stayed exactly what it had been in that in ESU’s hallway: slightly awkward, weirdly consistent, and entirely one-sided in terms of enthusiasm.
Y/N would spot him during the week, usually when he was clearly in a rush and immediately latch on. “Peter!”
He wouldn’t stop walking.
She would for approximately half a second. Then she’d jog after him. “So—how’s life?” she’d ask, falling into step beside him like she had every right to be there.
“Fine.”
“Cool, cool, cool. That’s great. Love that for you. Hey—do you like 70s bands?”
“No.”
“You don’t even know which ones I’m talking about.”
“I do.”
She ignored that. “Trivia night. Thursday. You should come.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Okay, but like—emotionally, or—”
“Physically.”
She huffed, walking backwards in front of him now. “You’re no fun.”
“Yeah I heard that.”
“Yeah, I can imagine,” she muttered, then brightened again instantly. “Anyway, I’ll save you a seat.”
“Don’t.”
She pointed at him. “Too late.” And just like that, she’d disappear into a classroom, leaving Peter standing there for half a second longer than necessary before continuing on like nothing happened.
Then there were the days he didn’t show up at all. No hallway sightings. No late-night footsteps. No door opening, no dry one-word responses. Y/N would notice. She told herself she didn’t.
“He’s probably just busy,” she’d say casually to whoever was around. Or, “Maybe he’s on vacation.” Which, realistically, didn’t make sense. Peter Parker didn’t seem like the vacation type. He barely seemed like the take a break type. Still, she never asked.
And then he’d reappear like nothing happened. Same hoodie. Same tired eyes. Same “cool.”
Sometimes, their interactions were… different. Like the nights Y/N came home drunk. The stairwell light would flicker, her steps uneven, one hand dragging along the wall for balance as she muttered to herself about something that made perfect sense in her head. “…and I told her, autumn is overrated—like, yeah, the leaves are pretty, but it’s basically just—just dying, you know? It’s like aesthetic decay—”
Her foot would miss a step and before gravity could fully commit—a hand would catch her arm.
Steady. Firm. She’d blink up, trying to focus. “…Neighbor?”
He stood there with a laundry basket tucked against his hip, looking down at her like this was, at best, mildly inconvenient. “You’re gonna fall,” he said.
“I’m not—” she swayed. “I’m fine. Besides— that was super superheroing”
“You’re not.” He grimaces. ,,supeheroing is not even a word’
,,It is now’ She squinted at him, then smiled suddenly, wide and unfiltered. “You’re, like… really good at catching people.”
“Yeah.”
“You do that often?”
“More than I’d like.”
“That’s kinda hot.”
Peter didn’t react at all. He just adjusted his grip on the laundry basket. “You have your keys?”
Y/N frowned like this was a deeply philosophical question. “…Probably.”
“Find them.”
She dug into her bag with the intensity of someone searching for buried treasure. “If I don’t have them, can I just—like—sleep in the hallway?”
“No.”
“Your place?”
“No.”
“Wow,” she said, pulling out her keys triumphantly. “You’re so mean to me.”
“You’re drunk.”
“And?”
“And you’ll forget this tomorrow.”
She gasped softly. “I never forget emotional moments.”
“This isn’t one.”
She stared at him for a second, then leaned in slightly, lowering her voice like she was about to reveal something important. “I think you secretly like me.”
“I don’t.”
She nodded slowly, completely unconvinced. “Yeah. That sounds fake.”
Peter guided her toward her apartment door, letting go only once she was steady enough to stand on her own.
“Get inside,” he said.
She fumbled with the lock, then paused, looking back at him over her shoulder. “You’re a good guy, you know that, neighbor?”
He didn’t answer. Just stood there, laundry basket in hand, waiting. She smiled at him one last time before pushing the door open and stumbling inside. ,,Byeeeeeee thank’s for saving me’ The door shut.
Peter stayed there for a moment longer than necessary. Then he exhaled quietly, shifted the laundry basket, and continued up the stairs like it hadn’t meant anything at all. It wasn’t that he was trying to avoid her specifically. He avoided everyone. Keeping attention away from himself had become second nature, something rooted in fear more than preference. He couldn’t risk losing more people. He couldn’t allow anyone into his life who might end up being threatened because of his other persona.
Y/N, though… she seemed like a genuinely nice person.
He often overheard her in the hallway, chatting easily with neighbors he didn’t even realize existed. Apparently, someone in the building sold homemade honey in jars, something he only learned because Y/N had spent ten minutes enthusiastically discussing it outside his door one afternoon.
To him, she was… bright. Outgoing in a way that felt effortless. Like she carried a drop of sunshine inside her, something that made the run-down, slightly miserable apartment complex feel a little less like hell.
He used to be like that.
Sometimes, he missed that version of himself and because of that, he kept his distance even more. He didn’t want what happened to him to happen to her.
On a Friday night, Y/N threw a party in her apartment.
It wasn’t anything extravagant, she just needed to blow off some steam before exam season hit everyone like a truck. She invited a mix of people from campus, including her good friend Alice, who happened to share a module with Peter.
“Wait—you know Peter?” Y/N asked, sipping from a red plastic cup as she leaned against the kitchen counter.
The apartment was crowded but comfortable, packed with around thirty people. Alternative rock hummed through the speakers, blending with laughter and overlapping conversations. The lights were dim, casting everything in a warm, hazy glow, and the air smelled faintly of cheap alcohol and someone’s overly strong perfume.
Alice smiled slightly, her blonde hair catching the low light. “Yeah… I mean, kind of. He’s rarely in Professor Banner’s lectures, but when he is, he’s…” She paused, searching for the right word. “Distant. But we sort of understand each other.”
Y/N choked on her drink. “My neighbor can talk?” she coughed, eyes widening.
Alice blinked, then nodded slowly. “Yeah… I mean—sometimes. Everyone talks.”
“Not my neighbor,” Y/N muttered, grimacing as she set her cup down.
Alice let out a small laugh. “Why do you even call him ‘neighbor’?”
Y/N shrugged, completely unapologetic. “I like giving people nicknames.”
Alice raised an eyebrow. “That’s not a nickname. That’s just… what he is.”
Y/N pointed at her. “Exactly. It’s ironic.”
“…That’s not how irony works.”
Y/N waved her off, already reaching for another drink. “Details.”
A couple of guys stumbled into the kitchen, clearly already a few drinks in. One of them, Paul, leaned against the doorframe, grinning like he’d just had the best idea of his life.
“Hey, Y/L/N,” he called out, his words slightly slurred, “do you have any limes? We wanna do, like—tequila shots. A whole game thing.” He hiccuped mid-sentence, which immediately sent the others into laughter.
Y/N turned toward them with an easy smile. “Yeah, hold on—I’ll check.”
She made her way to the fridge, pulling it open and scanning the shelves. Bottles. Leftovers. Questionable containers she didn’t remember putting there.
No limes.
Her smile slowly dropped. “…Crap.”
Alice leaned closer, trying to peek inside. “What’s wrong?”
“No limes.”
Alice frowned. “No dimes?”
Y/N shut the fridge a little harder than necessary. “No, I said no limes—”
She stopped mid-sentence, then her expression shifted. Y/N turned her head toward Alice, a grin spreading across her face. “I’ll check if my neighbor has some.”
Alice blinked. “…Your neighbor neighbor?”
“The one and only,” Y/N said, already moving toward the door.
Alice grabbed her arm lightly. “You’re seriously leaving your own party to ask the human equivalent of a brick wall for limes?”
Y/N pulled free, unfazed. “He might have some.”
“He won’t.”
“He might.”
“He won’t.”
Y/N pointed at her as she backed out of the kitchen. “Have some faith.”
“In him?” Alice called after her.
Y/N just grinned. “In the limes.”
And with that, she slipped out into the hallway, on a mission that was, at best, unnecessary… and at worst, a terrible idea.
Y/N had always been like that. Full of impulsive ideas that balanced somewhere between stupid and weirdly clever. She lived by the quiet philosophy of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—that life was too long to be serious all the time, and sometimes you just had to do something reckless because you could.
Unfortunately, this was one of those moments.
She tried to make her way back to her apartment door, but the hallway was packed with people spilling out from her own party, laughing, shouting, blocking every possible path.
“Okay—nope,” she muttered, already turning around.
Plan B.
The fire escape.
Within seconds, she slipped into her room, pushed the window open, and climbed out onto the metal platform. The cool night air hit her face immediately, a sharp contrast to the warm, crowded apartment behind her. Music thumped faintly through the walls as she carefully made her way down the stairs toward the level below.
Peter’s window.
She leaned forward slightly, gripping the railing as she tried to peek inside.
Completely dark.
Y/N frowned. “Of course,” she mumbled. “Because he definitely has a life on a Friday night.”
Still, she knocked against the glass.
Once.
Twice.
Then louder.
“Hey—neighbor!” she called, pressing closer to the window. “You alive in there, or did you finally turn into a ghost?”
No response.
She sighed, leaning her forehead briefly against the cool glass. “Great. No limes, no neighbor, no dignity—”
Something hit the wall next to her. Y/N jumped back with a startled scream. “AHHH—!” She whipped around and froze. Spider-Man clung to the brick wall just a few feet away, one hand still pressed against it from where he had landed. His head tilted slightly, the white lenses of his mask wide. “…Uh—”
Y/N stared at him, completely stunned. Her brain visibly tried to catch up with reality. “…Okay,” she said slowly, raising a hand like she was pausing the situation. “So either I’m way more drunk than I thought—” She pointed at him. “—or you’re Spider-Man.”
Spider-Man didn’t move. “I wish I could say you are drunk but no— I am Spider-Man,” he said finally.
Y/N nodded once, like that confirmed everything. “Cool.” She turned back toward the window, knocking on it again like nothing had just happened. “HEY—NEIGHBOR!” she shouted. “Do you have limes?!”
Spider-Man just stared at her. “…You’re kidding.”
She glanced back at him, completely serious. “No, this is time-sensitive.”
He shifted slightly on the wall. “You’re on a fire escape. At night. Yelling.”
“Yes.”
“You almost fell.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did.”
She waved him off. “That’s not the point.”
“…What is the point?”
“I need limes.”
Another pause. Spider-Man blinked behind the mask. “…For what?”
“Tequila shots.”
He stared at her. “…You climbed out of your apartment. Onto a fire escape. To ask your neighbor for limes. For tequila shots.”
“Yes,” she said, like it was obvious. Then she squinted at him slightly. “…Are you judging me?”
“I’m processing this.”
“Well, process faster,” she shot back. “People are waiting.”
Spider-Man looked at her for a long second. “…Stay there,” he said instead, already pushing himself off the wall.
Y/N blinked. “Where else would I—?”
He was gone.
She stared at the empty space where he had been, the city noise rushing back in to fill the silence. “…Okay,” she muttered to herself, gripping the railing. “Cool. Love that. Very mysterious. Very dramatic exit.” She leaned back against the metal bars, squinting out into the night. “Wow,” she added under her breath. “Even Spider-Man ghosts me.”
Three minutes. That’s how long she waited. Long enough for her buzz to settle slightly. Long enough for her to start questioning her life choices. “Alright,” she said to no one, pushing herself upright. “New plan. We accept defeat. We go back inside. We drink tequila without limes like civilized peo—”
A red blur swung back into view. She yelped again, grabbing the railing. “OH MY—can you not do that?!”
Spider-Man landed lightly in front of her, something small clutched in his hand. “…You scream a lot,” he said.
“You appear out of nowhere!” she shot back, clutching her chest. “That’s on you.”
He ignored that, holding out his hand.
Limes.
Fresh. Bright green. Slightly dewy, like they had just come out of a fridge.
Y/N blinked. “…You just carry limes around?” she asked slowly.
“No.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Then where did you get them?”
“…Deli,” he said.
“You—” she pointed at him, incredulous, “you went to a deli?”
“Yes.”
“For me?”
“…For the limes.”
Y/N stared at him for a long second. Then her face broke into a wide, delighted grin. “You are really the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”
“I’m efficient.”
“You left—” she gestured vaguely into the city, “—swung somewhere, bought limes, and came back, all in like… what, three minutes?”
“Four.”
“Four,” she repeated, nodding. “Right. Of course. That makes it normal.” He held the limes out again, a little more insistently this time. “Take them.”
“Oh—right!” She quickly grabbed them, almost dropping one before catching it against her chest. “These are beautiful. Honestly, ten out of ten limes.”
He stared at her. “…They’re just limes.”
“No, no,” she shook her head, completely serious. “These are hero limes. There’s a difference.”
“…I regret this,” he muttered, but he has a little smile behind his mask.
“You don’t,” she shot back immediately. “This is the highlight of your night.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“It’s not.”
She grinned. “It is.”
“…Go back inside,” he said.
Y/N clutched the limes like a prize. “I will. My people need me.”
“They don’t.”
“They do. There’s a tequila situation.”
He looked at her like that explained nothing. She took a step toward the stairs, then paused, turning back to him. “…Hey.” He didn’t respond, but his head tilted slightly. “Thanks,” she said, softer now. “For the… deli mission.”
“…Don’t mention it.”
“I absolutely will,” she said immediately. “No one’s gonna believe me.”
“Good.”
She laughed, already climbing back up toward her window. “See you around, Spider-Man!”
He didn’t answer. Just watched as she disappeared back inside, music spilling out briefly before the window shut behind her. The fire escape fell quiet again. Peter stayed there for a moment longer than necessary. Then he looked down at his hands.
“…Deli,” he muttered to himself, like he couldn’t quite believe it either. But he still had a little smile behind his mask. A stupid little smile.
The next morning hit New York like it always did: too bright, too loud, and entirely unconcerned with anyone’s headache. Y/N was already halfway regretting her life choices before she even reached the stairwell. Her hair was tied up messily, sunglasses doing absolutely nothing indoors, and she was clutching a energy she didn’t remember buying. The apartment hallway smelled faintly like last night’s alcohol and spilled optimism.
She stepped out of her apartment just in time to see him.
Peter Parker.
Walking down the stairs like he hadn’t just indirectly caused a minor existential crisis in her life twelve hours ago.
“Peter!” she called immediately.
He paused mid-step, slowly turned his head. “…Yeah.” That tone again. Flat. Guarded. Like he was already preparing for something he didn’t want to deal with.
Y/N lit up instantly. “Oh my God, perfect timing. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m on my way out.”
“No, you’re on your way into a conversation.”
“I didn’t agree to that.”
She was already moving toward him. “You don’t have to. It’s happening anyway.”
Peter stared at her for a second as she reached him on the stairs, clearly debating whether continuing downward at full speed was an option. It wasn’t. She had already positioned herself like a blockade.
“Is this about the party?” he asked.
She gasped. “It’s not just about the party.”
A beat.
“…It’s partly about the party—- wait you remembered that I had a party where you were invited.” She grins out of satisfaction.
Peter exhaled slowly, like he was trying to conserve patience for something more important in his life. “Okay.”
Y/N grabbed his wrist. “Come with me.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I have class.”
“No one has a class on Saturday. You have coffee.”
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“That’s fake.”
He tried to step around her. She stepped in front again.
Peter stopped. Looked at her. “…You’re blocking a staircase.”
“And you’re emotionally unavailable,” she replied instantly. “We all have struggles.”
Peter blinked once. “…What happened last night?”
That was all she needed. Her entire face changed.
“Oh my GOD,” she said, releasing his wrist only to immediately start gesturing wildly. “Okay. So. First of all. My party? Insane. Like, legally it should’ve been louder than it was. There were people. So many people. I lost at least two conversations and a cup of something I’m pretty sure was not juice.”
Peter didn’t move, but his head tilted slightly.
Y/N continued, pacing one step down, then back up again for dramatic effect. “And then Paul shows up, right? And he’s like—” she dropped her voice into a terrible imitation, “‘Do you have limes? We need tequila shots like it’s a sport.’”
Peter’s mouth twitched. Just slightly. “Go on,” he said.
That alone made her pause. “Wait—are you… interested?”
“No,” he said immediately. Then, after a beat: “…Continue.”
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him but kept going. “So I check the fridge. No limes. Tragedy. Absolute collapse of civilization. Alice suggests I give up. I refuse. Obviously.”
Peter folded his arms. “So you went where?”
She pointed at him like she was delivering courtroom testimony. “Fire escape.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “…Of course you did.”
“I had a system,” she insisted. “It made sense at the time. Anyway. I go to your window—”
“My window.”
“Yes, your window, don’t interrupt the narrative flow—”
“I’m not—”
“And you weren’t there.”
Peter nodded slowly. “I wasn’t.”
“Exactly,” she said, pointing triumphantly. “So I’m knocking on your window like a normal person—”
“Normal.”
“—and suddenly Spider-Man shows up.”
Peter froze. Just slightly as if it wasn’t the first time he has to pretend to be shocked. Then recovered almost immediately. “Spider-Man.”
“Yes,” she said seriously. “Him.”
“…At my window.”
“Yes.”
Peter looked at her for a long second. “…Right.”
Y/N leaned in slightly. “And listen. I don’t know what your opinion on him is, but I think he might be, like, a little unwell.”
Peter blinked. “Unwell?”
“Because why is he on walls at night and also emotionally committed to grocery errands?”
That got him. A small, genuine laugh escaped before he could stop it.
Y/N stopped mid-gesture. “…Did you just laugh at me?”
“No.”
“You did.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did,” she repeated, pointing at him again. “That was a laugh.”
Peter rubbed his hand over his mouth, trying to hide it. “Continue your story.”
She narrowed her eyes but resumed. “So anyway, he tells me to stay there. Disappears. Comes back FOUR minutes later with limes from a deli.”
“That’s not the point,” she said immediately. “The point is that your city’s superhero is doing Uber Eats side quests for me.”
Peter let out another small, involuntary huff of amusement.
Y/N noticed. “Okay, you’re enjoying this.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re smiling.”
“I’m not smiling.”
“You are emotionally smiling.”
Peter exhaled, looking away briefly like he was trying not to encourage her. “…You’re ridiculous.”
“Thank you,” she said proudly. “Anyway, I need coffee after this. And you’re coming.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I literally just said I’m not.”
She had already started walking.
Peter didn’t move at first, then he sighed and followed.
The coffee shop was two blocks away, small and slightly too warm inside, filled with the soft hum of morning conversations and the smell of burnt espresso. Y/N pushed the door open like she owned the place.
Peter followed more cautiously, hands in his pockets. “You didn’t have to drag me here,” he said.
“I did,” she replied immediately, already walking toward the counter. “This is emotional processing.”
“That’s not what coffee is.”
“It is for me.”
Peter watched as she ordered something aggressively complicated, then turned to him expectantly.
“What?”
“I said I don’t drink coffee.”
“That’s fine,” she said, waving it off. “You can just emotionally support me while I consume caffeine.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It is now.”
He sighed again but didn’t leave. They sat by the window, sunlight spilling across the table. Y/N talked with her hands again, reenacting parts of the night like she was performing a one-woman play, occasionally slamming the table for emphasis. Peter watched her for a while, expression unreadable—but softer than usual.
At one point, she leaned back, grinning.
“So,” she said, “your Spider-Man is insane.”
Peter took a sip of water. “…My Spider-Man?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I feel like you’d know him. You give off ‘I know things’ energy.”
Peter almost choked. “…I don’t.”
“Mm-hm,” she said, unconvinced. Then she pointed at him with her cup. “Anyway, I’m telling everyone I know he did a deli run for me.”
Peter shook his head slowly, a small smile still lingering. “You’re going to get yourself in trouble one day.”
She grinned. “Probably.”
And for some reason, that didn’t make him laugh less.
SUMMARY. after a long time of being forgotten, peter parker shockingly meets someone who remembers him: a girl he used to see in high school. but their relationship doesn't start off with sunshine and rainbows; they will have to learn to choose each other, even when it's the harder thing to do.
WORD COUNT. 17.4k
CONTENT. post no way home. female reader. dual pov. hurt / comfort (emotional & physical). angst with hopeful ending (blame the new trailer for having angsty vibes). both peter and reader are sad. peter needs a hug. peter carries reader while swinging. loneliness and finding the one person who understands. a lot of crying. canon-typical violence. reader gets a gunshot wound. blood. explosion. death (of no one named). crime organization. reader has to fight at some point (i tried). not beta read. home-related title yay.
NOTES. i really hope you like this. let me know your thoughts in the comments / reblogs / my inbox! also let me know if i'm missing any tags. english isn't my first language, and i've never been to new york. if there are any inaccuracies, consider it the mcu version of the city. the gif is by @manny-jacinto
it was a rainy morning, dark clouds had covered the sky, and the atmosphere was melancholic. you had just stepped out of the book cafe you usually went to study or read in, it was a hidden gem in the ever-crowded streets of new york city, usually quiet and peaceful. this time, you’d just paid a visit to buy a drink with some pastries.
today’s gloomy weather felt right to you, somehow, it spoke to your soul and fit your mood. you’d stuffed the pastries you’d bought into your bag, and you were going to walk around a little bit, holding your drink in one hand, your umbrella in the other. you thought you might sit somewhere, maybe go to a park after walking for twenty or so minutes, you enjoyed the smell of rain mixing with earth to bring life to the world.
and that’s when you saw him.
he was standing at the other side of the road, wearing a simple hoodie, getting wet from the rain. an expression on his face as gloomy as the weather. he’d grown, his face had taken a sharper shape, his hair had curled on the tips from meeting with water.
peter parker, the boy from your ap chemistry class, from days long forgotten, and much less destructive.
you froze, your gaze set on his face, which had been painted in subtle and few scars, and bent downward from either the rain getting into his eyes, or life. the regular noise of the city was reduced to background buzzing in your ears, all the pedestrians walking past you, and the people waiting to cross roads around peter had turned blurry and faceless, the cars passing by had become trails of colors. the boy, or perhaps now man, you had just noticed, was someone you’d never thought you’d see again.
peter parker had been the smartest student in the class you took together, you used to keep notes and read ahead before every lesson, and he’d come sleep-deprived, busy himself with unrelated trinkets, and answer every unexpected question coming his way correctly. later, when you learned that he was spiderman, you realised he must’ve been so tired and out-of-it every day for saving lives and fighting crime.
you had learned of his superhero activities, like everyone else in the world. you didn’t use to see him outside of your shared lecture hours, not because you were actively avoiding him, fate just hadn’t coincided a conversation between you two. after you’d passed the course and stopped seeing peter entirely, you hadn’t busied your mind with thoughts of him, until that incident with mysterio. learning that he’d been trying to help people every step of the way, back when you used to see him, had changed your view of him.
and then, suddenly, no one remembered anymore. you saw it all happen. you saw the sky shatter and shadows watch the earth through its cracks. you saw what you could only describe as hundreds of aliens preying on your planet. you knew spiderman fought to save the world from their clutches. yet when it was all over, no one remembered the hell-torn skies. or peter parker.
no one remembered he was spiderman. no one remembered he was peter parker. no one remembered peter parker was. no one from your old high school, not even his best friend, not even his girlfriend. they all looked at you as if you spoke of a ghost, he was a painted over memory, he’d escaped from the weak grasps of the growing brains of the youth and the ever-tired minds of the grown.
he’d even escaped from records and photos, like how short-lived cherry blossoms disappeared in a week, as if trees had never been pink. like how spring never lasted. you’d questioned whether you’d made him up, if something was wrong with you. but how could you make up a whole person, that you simply never had a relationship with? he wasn’t an imaginary friend, he had never been a friend.
trying to catch a glimpse of his existence had been like trying to catch smoke with bare hands. and yet, now, he was standing right in front of you, waiting to cross roads. waiting to come towards you.
the lights turned green for pedestrians, and peter snapped out of his stillness, he gained motion, he slowly came closer. people around you made noises indicating they were annoyed at your inaction, but you could barely hear any of them. you were focused completely on one person only.
he crossed the road, and started walking the opposite way from where you had been nailed to the ground, unable to take your eyes off him.
no, don’t go. i must know. i must talk.
you ran after him, forcefully making yourself a way amongst bodies covered in layers of clothing. you closed your umbrella, so it wouldn’t get tangled in others’. you caught up to peter, and grabbed his arm.
he turned instantly, gripping your arm in return, a shocked expression on his face, ready to take you down, had you posed a threat. he looked into your eyes; questioning, confused, hesitant… sorrowful? how had he grown so solemn? how had he lived forgotten?
“peter?” you asked, “peter parker? is that you?”
his eyes widened, grip loosened, lips parted. he looked completely dumbfounded, drops of water dripping down strands of his hair, and the tip of his nose. he searched for something in your eyes, just silently thinking. trying to process, you assumed.
he opened his mouth to talk, and his breath hitched.
“you…” he started, seemingly talking feeling like labor to him, “you know who i am?”
you couldn’t help giving him a sincere smile, he really was peter parker. the boy from your class who was remembered by no one. he was real.
“i was in the same ap chemistry class as you in high school,” you explained, he might not have remembered you, as you’d never interacted outside of topics regarding course materials, “if you don’t remember.”
“no, no,” said peter, his voice still laced with shock, and a tune that dropped a tiny piece of despair into your chest, “i remember. you were the smartest student in class.”
“that’s… debatable,” you said, your surprise clearly read from your face.
“it wasn’t,” he said, defensive, “everyone borrowed your notes, and you always had the correct answers.”
“so did you,” you said softly, the bitter taste of nostalgia repainted with a blue hue catching up to you, tightening your chest, placing a lump in your throat. “what happened, peter?” you asked, “why have you disappeared?”
peter closed his mouth, and his grip slightly hardened, he hadn’t let your arm go. you hadn’t let his go, either.
he lowered his head, and fixed his gaze on the grey stone ground. you couldn’t quite name the emotions you saw in his eyes, but they made you tear up. what must it have been like to suddenly cease existing? what must he have been through? what must he have thought, watching his chosen family from afar, like a vampire looking at a mirror, erased from his own reflection?
the cloudy weather truly felt fit for the day, maybe peter had been feeling it too, today. raindrops fell on earth like shattered glass pieces, you thought you might’ve been bleeding with your umbrella down, but peter wasn’t, was his skin thicker?
“would you like to sit down somewhere, peter?” the tale must have been long, how else could a person, and a rift in the atmosphere, be erased from the minds of billions? “like a bench at the park, or maybe my place?”
he looked deep into your eyes, thinking.
“okay,” he said at last, determination adorning his words now, “we can. we can,” he said while nodding.
“okay,” you repeated after him, and finally let his arm go.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
peter had been on his way to his small apartment, by himself, as always, after another long, sleepless night, that rainy morning. clouds had covered the sky, obscuring the sun, as if to match the weather inside his ribcage. the sun hadn’t shone on him since it had seen space ripped apart because of him, for his mistakes.
it was a day the same as any other; he was walking in the crowd, unseen without a mask, faceless. then, someone he hadn't sensed had touched him, must have been because no harm was intended, yet he'd felt alarmed.
a girl, he'd realized, a familiar face. that wasn't strange, he was used to seeing people he used to know, what was strange was... the look you had in your eyes, almost like you recognized him. a kind of tiny beam of light in your irises, aimed at him.
and then you called out his name.
the world tilted. he felt as if hit by a shockwave, rolling backwards, losing the tightness of his grip on reality, on you. he’d been completely dumbfounded, he could barely process what was happening. someone remembered him. you remembered him. you knew.
he looked you over again, he remembered, too. he remembered how you sat at the front seat, carefully trailing the teacher with your eyes, focus unbreakable. you didn’t use to look his way unless he was asking or answering a question related to the course, he wouldn’t think you would recognize him under normal circumstances, without happenings made foggy through magic, let alone when the whole world has left him behind. the whole multiverse.
he couldn’t get out of the shock he’d been thrown into, not even enough to wonder the why, the how, or think of the implications of the possibility that someone(s) might not have forgotten. he had been erased even from stone and paper, ink had evaporated, computers had lost their binary numbers. human memories couldn’t even be held, they must’ve been so easily broken apart and mended without wholeness again, didn’t people always forget things, anyway?
that had been hard to accept, of course. the fact that the feelings people reserved for him were fragile and unresistant, that they could be so fully erased, that they could be erased at all. but you remembered, was your mind stronger, or was it the impression he’d left on you? was it you, or him?
he hadn’t even been able to ponder if this was a good thing at all, if he should be worried, if he should accept this, how he should react. the past year had been so soul-crushing, so lonely, that after slightly getting over the initial shock that had hit him, holding back his tears had been all he could manage to do. you were wet from the rain, a drink forgotten and an umbrella folded in one of your hands, the other one holding him, looking at him expectantly, worried. you had come after him. you were holding onto him. he tightened his grip again.
you’d even wanted to talk more, to learn of his story, to listen. so he’d agreed, he suspected he would chase you on that road if you’d walked away. his chest had been closing in on his veins and heart, increasing the pressure and twisting his organs, breathing had become harder every day for the past year, he was suffocating. you’d held his arm like a tree branch offered to a drowning kid, an olive branch offered to a warring people, a willow… willows were hunched and weary, weren’t they? he was like a willow, layers of leaves covering his face, unseen.
he didn’t have anywhere to go, or anyone waiting for him. he hadn’t wanted to let you go, now that someone had finally, truly seen the shape of his face. so he had just followed you, let you draw a destination for two.
you had brought him to a small apartment, similar to his own, in an austere street lined with buildings that were short compared to the signature buildings of new york city. you’d told him you were staying there for the time being. your place, as you’d put it. the inside was much nicer than his living space, expectedly, and it contrasted with the grey view of the street from your windows and the pipe-filled outer layer of your apartment building. the floor was covered in soft carpets, the living room was filled with books, its walls covered in bookshelves, academic books left open and stationary scattered about on a table, notebooks filled with your handwriting, it was lived in.
you had taken him to the kitchen, said you’d just bought pastries and had some leftovers to reheat for him, he’d insisted it wasn’t necessary, but you’d shut him down. “how could i send my guest off on an empty stomach?” you’d asked, made him sit down at the kitchen table, and gotten to work on the countertop. the living room had smelled of a flowery incense he couldn’t name, the kitchen was now smelling of baked dough and vegetable soup, making him feel his hunger. he hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast, or during the night.
“i apologize for the mess,” you said, while putting two bowls of steamy soup on the table, “i wasn’t expecting a guest.”
“oh, no, no,” he quickly scrambled to apologize himself, “i don’t mind at all, i’m sorry for… for…” he gestured around himself, trying to find the right words. being a burden? interrupting?
“for accepting my invite? i’d say that was the polite response,” you said, finally sitting opposite to him, having brought the pastries you’d sliced and placed on plates nicely, and the fruit salad you’d quickly put together. “thank you for that, by the way.”
he didn’t know what to say, he looked down flustered, “i- of course- i mean, thank you for inviting me,” he said, gesturing towards you with his hand, a slight smile on his face. how long had it been since he last smiled? it sure didn’t feel like an every day occurrence.
you gave him back a smile that made him… feel warm. he was still on the verge of tears, he was barely holding it together, focusing on the moment, trying not to let all the overwhelming feelings leave his body.
“please, enjoy,” you said, as you slid the plates closer to him, and he nodded in gratitude. he was hungry, and looking at the warm vegetable bisque… he hadn’t eaten a homemade meal in a very, very long time, especially one that was delicious, one that was warm.
and it was delicious. it tasted like a hug, a hearthfire, a blanket. it tasted like something you would eat at your home, like something your mother would cook for you. “this is,” he started, in between spoonfuls, “this is great. you’re a good cook.”
“thank you,” you said, and then started explaining. “i roasted tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, potatoes, bell peppers, and an onion, and blended them with vegetable broth and cream, so probably the easiest way to make something like…” you trailed off as you realised peter was… crying. he was looking down on the bowl of soup in front of him, and tears were silently rolling down his cheeks, as he kept taking spoonfuls.
peter was mortified at his reaction, he quickly scrambled to wipe his face with the tissues you’d placed on the table, and apologize. you told him it was fine, and he could take however much time he needed or wanted. you let him eat and think in silence for as long as he needed, you gave him time and space as he filled his stomach with warm food and sweet fruits. he didn’t know why tears had won against his willpower this time around, considering how good he’d gotten at holding them in. he didn’t know why just eating in your kitchen, with you, had made him feel emotions overwhelming enough to rush out of him. he was embarassed, despite your reassurances. it was the first time he was meeting with you in years, the only person who still remembered him, and he had started crying over a soup. he wasn’t a teenage high schooler anymore, why was this happening?
after a silence long enough to make someone less patient uncomfortable, he finally felt he could talk, and decided to tell you everything that had happened. all of it. you were the only person who knew him now, was it wrong to want to be known fully? to be understood?
so he told you everything, from the start… from a time too early, one might’ve thought; from before he even became an avenger. there had been people in his life who knew of his journey, how he became a hero, how he became an avenger, who he fought against, who he fought with, what really happened with mysterio, and then… then aunt may’s death… then everyone else’s little deaths.
peter used to be talkative, he used to converse with even the people he was actively battling, yet telling you all he wanted made him realise it had been a long time since he’d spoken so much. so transparently, willingly. had life crushed him under a fallen bridge without him noticing? he had been feeling it, but couldn’t guess how dire his cuts and walls had been drawn.
you listened all of it, without looking away once, without looking at the time. and then, once he concluded his speech and drifted off to silence, you let it fester. it seemed as if you had a hard time proccessing everything peter had dumped on you, or maybe couldn’t find the right words to continue with. this time, peter left you in your own silence, his hands slightly shaking in nervousness. what was your reaction going to be? what were you thinking?
“i’m truly sorry,” you said at last, a rueful expression adorning your face, making you look older than you had when telling him of the soup recipe. you had grown older, peter had noticed, more beautiful. “i’m sorry about your aunt, too. i had no idea. i thought… i guess i assumed at least your family would remember you.”
“yeah,” said peter in defeat, “there is no one.”
you looked deep into his eyes, pain visible on your face, “i remember,” you said. “and now i know.”
peter sighed and put his face in between his hands, closing his eyes in despair. “there is nowhere i belong, now. i fight for this city, and… and no one cares.”
this was horrible. truly horrible. a weight had been lifted off his shoulders when you’d recognized him, listened to him, welcomed him into your home. but he also felt bothered by it, too. had being known always been so scary? he hadn’t meant to say the last bit, he hadn’t even thought that to himself before. he’d been on the verge of it, but hadn’t actually thought it. why did he say it out loud now? why did he tell you?
you took a deep breath, “a lot of people care, especially the ones you save. you’ve been making a huge difference, peter. yours can be a thankless job sometimes, but many are grateful.” you paused for a moment, “i’ve always been grateful. when i learned how you’d been fighting for people this whole time, my respect for you skyrocketed. i thought i would help you in any way i could if it ever came to that.”
peter pressed his hands harder on his eyes, he didn’t want to start crying again. he didn’t know if you realised how your words had fallen into the deepest part of his soul. it was strange, how only a few words could help people keep going, how humans could be built merely by caring, and how humans could be so worn-out that they could stop tasting without even realising.
his phone vibrated silently in his pocket, taking him out of spiraling. he sighed again, what was it now?
strong fire in a building, spreading speedily, authorities unable to protect the citizens despite doing their best. he stood up abruptly, “i should go,” he said.
“what is it? what happened?”
“fire in a tall building, i need to save those people,” he said while walking towards the door, you trailing behind him.
“okay- be careful, peter. and come back here after you’re done there, okay? even if it’s late, because i’ll wait for you, and if you don’t come back, i’ll wait until morning,” you said quickly as he was wearing his shoes, the door to your house open.
“okay,” he said, stuttering slightly, “thank you.” truly. you’ve made breathing possible for me again. thank you.
and he left you behind like that, because he never had a break. he didn’t know if he deserved a break. none of that mattered though, there were people suffering, and he couldn’t leave them behind, no matter what.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
you were leaning on the metal handrails of your small balcony, looking at the few people and cars that passed by the road in front of your apartment. it was desolate, compared to most of new york, but it was steadily never-ending, there never was a time when people stopped in this city. your view was made up of other grey apartments like yours, sharp corners and square shapes, nothing tasteful added to their designs. could this be good for the soul?
you looked up at the sky, to watch the stars, but as always, not many were visible. you counted four stars that could be clearly seen from your balcony. the same as yesterday. you sometimes wondered: if you could reach greater heights, would more of them shine on you? the city had offended the stars in an effort to be independent from them, brighten night time, they didn't show their faces anymore. even if they wanted to, they couldn't be seen.
peter had been shining since he was a kid; clever, kind, righteous, fair-faced in a way the cleanness of his heart had reflected on his features. how big of a loss was it for the world to be forsaken from his face? it was lucky that peter was good-hearted, for he kept showing up under a mask anyway, offering those who looked a glimpse into his light.
it was past midnight already, and peter was still nowhere to be seen. he'd left you a little past noon, the fire had been extinguished by now, and spiderman had left the premises after saving dozens of lives (that the firefighters would've been too late for, despite their best efforts), and yet, peter was nowhere to be seen. it worried you, you wished you had asked for his phone number; you'd considered asking, but decided against it, thinking he might be bothered by the request.
after you'd talked to michelle, his girlfriend, some time back, and she hadn't remembered the boy she’d been in love with, you'd been thinking of peter regularly. even if you had made him up in your mind, it had just flooded your chest with such profound sadness, that you had decided at least you would remember him, whether it would matter to him or not.
and, he was real, he was spiderman. and he’d been so lonely. graveyards had become his only sanctuary, teenage diaries and late night messages had been buried next to the corpses of anyone who'd ever taken care of him, and he did not know their hiding spots. he just wandered around graves, knowing they were somewhere under his feet, to stay there forever. if he tried to dig them out, he would be swallowed up by lava, dooming the rest of the world to a volcanic apocalypse.
it seemed like volcanos had already been erupting behind his eyes, in his lungs. the peter you remembered used to be a jolly kid.
your head perked up as you heard your doorbell ring, and quickly rushed to open the door. a smiling peter greeted you, clothing changed. he looked more put-together than he had in the morning; a clean shirt under a black jacket and denim pants, not the baggy sweats he had on before.
you welcomed him inside, and brought him to sit on your couch, in the living room.
“are you all right?” you asked, “does anywhere hurt? do you need anything?”
he hesitated for a moment, a little surprised. “no, no- it’s fine. i didn’t fight anyone, so didn’t really get injured… much. it’s fine. i took care of it.”
you looked at him in silence for a few seconds, thinking. “liar,” you said.
“what?” he said in low voice, sounding worried. did he think he’d messed up somehow?
“you gave me your word that you would come straight to me, instead you took your sweet time tending to your injuries and changing your outift? you showered too, didn’t you?”
“i… i-” he quickly started talking, and then stopped to think. that was fine, he didn’t need to rush a response, never with you. he would learn that you’d always wait for him patiently. with time, he’d become more comfortable. you assumed this must be… somewhat of an uncomfortable experience for him, after being alone for so long. “i thought-”
he didn’t know what to say, you supposed.
“did i sound mad? i’m sorry. i was just worried. i.. uh, i’d wanted to help you with your injuries and stuff, too,” you weren’t exactly used to these kinds of conversations either. “since you’re not alone anymore… and all.”
“oh…” was all he could say.
“i mean, i’m glad you’re okay, and you look great, and i don’t mind that you had some alone time before coming and all, but you could, uh, if you want to, just come straight to me as well. after a fight or whatever. and you can take care of… your stuff here,” you forced the words out, you had to take these kinds of initiatives, if you wanted to have a closer relationship with him. because he wouldn’t impose anything on you. “if you want to, of course,” you added.
“i… thank you, i would, uh, yeah,” he said. you supposed that was a positive answer.
“so, what happened?”
he recounted the fire and the struggles in detail, how he saved the people trapped, how he had to deal with the authorities after him, how he got injured (only a little, he emphasized), and then how he went home to wear something better to come back to you. he’d wanted to rid the smell of ash and soot off his skin.
“i got tired just listening to you,” you said.
he chuckled slightly, “ah, yeah, things like this happen sometimes.”
“would you like anything to eat or drink?”
“no, no. not necessary, thank you,” he said quickly, raising his hands.
“okay, just tell me if you need anything.”
“all right, thanks… again,” he had a beautiful smile, but it looked like guilt had mixed into his skin, stopping him from smiling fully, with his eyes, or eyebrows. you wanted to tell him that none of this was his fault, he wasn’t responsible for the cruelty of others, he wasn’t at fault for being a victim. his aunt hadn’t died because he’d shown mercy, he was just being humane, the fault lied solely with the… whichever supernatural freak had done that, it was getting harder to keep track of them now. and the spell hadn’t gone wrong because of him, couldn’t doctor strange tell that he obviously wouldn’t want his own family to forget him? why wouldn’t he automatically add that to the spell? and the second time? surely he could’ve just kept two people out of his spell. none of it was his fault.
but you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t want to push too hard, or overstep your bounds. peter didn’t know you, not really. you assumed he must be happy that someone remembered him, but you wouldn’t be too surprised if he had forgotten you.
why had you remembered? you weren't magical, as far as you knew, so what had gone wrong? wasn't this... somewhat bad news? if you remembered, could it be possible that someone evil might, too? you didn't know, you supposed maybe you should try to ask doctor strange, somehow.
after a while of silence, you decided telling him how you feel, being straightforward, should be better than leaving thoughts to go back and forth in your head, bothering you. “peter,” you started, “i know what kind of a person you are for the most part. i know that you have a good heart, and you’re loyal, and honest. i… don’t doubt that you’ll be a good friend, that’s why i can be… this comfortable with you. i know, because i’ve been able observe you quite well until now.”
he was listening to you, eyes getting wider and smile dropping slowly, as you went on.
“i also know that you don’t really know me as well, so i’ll have to prove my character to you, in the way that you’ve already proven yours,” you quickly added, which was the point you’d wanted to make. “so, uh, i just wanted to say that… is the reason why i would like to be… good friends with you, even though we didn’t interact much back then. telling you just in case… you were wondering.”
he gave you a shy smile. "thank you," he said, occasionally glancing away.
then a small chuckle escaped his lip. “all i’ve been doing the whole day has been thanking you."
you giggled in return, "i thank you as well."
"for what? i haven't done anything."
"for saving this city and the world over and over again."
his expression turned serious, thoughtful. "i just do what i should. it’s my responsibility."
you leaned back on the couch, observing him. was it? did he really have to do what he did? he didn't have to, no one had to do anything. but it was right that he did. you supposed, being able to help people did mean you should, would it be wrong if he didn't interfere?
"what are you thinking?" he asked.
you hummed. "i think you are right, but then it's our responsibility to be grateful, and to help you in any way we can, even if that's just emotional support." you looked into his eyes carefully, "you've been doing your duty, but most others in the city haven't."
"that's all right," he said. "i don't expect anything. i don't do this to get anything in return."
"well," you started, "you can expect things from me, and feel free to let me know."
the shy smile returned to his face, "thank you again," he said. "you as well," he hastily added, raising his eyebrows while gesturing at you.
you were glad he seemed to be in a better mood now, compared to this morning. he was more put together, and somewhat more confident. you assumed having more time to process your situation must've helped.
the two of you talked for around another hour, peter got more talkative as you went on, and by the end, he was the only one talking. he'd started to tell you all about the various villains he'd been fighting, and you were very interested; you enjoyed listening to him.
but the time was getting closer to two in the morning, and you were having to fight your own eyelids to keep yourself from dropping to the floor right at that moment.
peter stopped abruptly mid-sentence, looking at you concerned. "oh," he started "i'm sorry, it's really late, i talked too much."
"no, no," you said, shaking your hand, "i really want to know about all of these things. let's continue tomorrow?"
"okay, sure," he said, smiling. "i'll get going now, and uh, see you tomorrow."
"get going? i could arrange my living room for you, if you'd like to stay the night? should you be alone when you're injured?"
"i don't want to bother you," he said as he stood up. “it’s fine, this isn't really all that bad, I've had much worse."
"okay, but call me if anything happens. i'll be more upset if you don't," you said as you followed him to the door.
"i will. you call me too," he said, having gotten out, wearing his shoes.
"deal."
“good night."
"good night."
and he was gone.
and you were so sleepy that you could fall asleep standing there. as you made your way to your bed, you decided to go over today's events tomorrow, when your braincells wouldn’t be forming a union to counter your abuse.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
peter opened his curtains to look outside, as soon as he managed to get out of his bed.
the sun was shining down on him, bathing his room and face in its light. he opened the window, and took a deep breath in. the air had the beautiful smell of rain, still lingering, left from yesterday.
he leaned on his window, and for the first time in forever, a smile graced his lips for the sun, for the day ahead of him.
he wanted to put on his spiderman suit and swing around in the city, not out of obligation or because he didn’t have anything else to do; he had an unfamiliar motivation in him to do something with his day.
so he did. he quickly got ready for the day, and all the steps felt less intimidating today. even brushing his teeth had become a tiring chore. he'd supposed it must've been because he was so tired all the time, but today, it had been easier, all of it. even breathing.
and it wasn't like he'd gotten more sleep than usual, either. sleeping was something out of routine for peter. sometimes he could only get a few hours at night, having to be spiderman. sometimes he would stare at the ceiling, unable to drift off to sleep. sometimes he would end up sleeping for more than ten hours, not wanting to get out of his bed, forcefully scraping his body off of it with a mental spatula, skin tearing apart from muscle, using every bit of his willpower. but, no matter which scenario happened to play out, peter would never feel rested.
he got mad at himself sometimes. for sleeping. or not sleeping. surely none of this was supposed to be this hard, everyone always did them just fine. so why was he like this? what was wrong with him?
he shook his head, getting out of his window as spiderman, and started wandering new york from the tops of buildings. not today, though. today he felt rested. and like something good could happen, strangely. and his chest could host the air he breathed in, unlike any day he could remember in months. he hadn't realised how air had been refusing to get into his lungs, until it finally did today.
he watched people walking towards their destinations without looking anywhere else. the streets of new york were always overfilled with motion and a million faces, and no one stopped to look at one another.
how had you seen him, yesterday? were you looking? were you always looking at people? were you searching for someone, something?
clouds had poured more rain on the city at night, and towards the morning. it was almost as if they had only stopped momentarily for the fire in the building to spread.
peter had gone to his apartment as soon as he was done rescuing civillians from the fire. he'd wanted to wear something nice, look cleaner for you. he was sort of embarrassed that your first meeting had been when he looked... less than ideal, let's say.
while showering, he'd spaced out, and ended up thinking for almost an hour. mostly about you.
he'd tried to remember everything about you, any kind of clue about your exceptional situation, but there was nothing. you used to mostly keep to yourself, peter hadn't even interacted with you all that much.
despite that, you'd been so accepting of him so quickly yesterday. he had wondered why, before you explained that you… knew him.
not only remembered, you knew him. not completely, but enough to trust. his heart fluttered in his chest, making a gentle movement for the first time since the last time he'd been called peter by anyone at all. thinking about your words excited him, energized him, made him move faster,
you wanted to get closer. you offered to patch up his wounds. you weren't afraid or displeased. you wanted to be close. his friend.
he would call you around noon, he'd decided. he'd kept you up quite late and didn't know when you would wake up. then maybe you could meet up this evening. outside, perhaps? he could take you to... he would come up with some ideas, by then.
he stopped and perched on top of a building, examining the back alleys. he knew the way to your house from where he was, he was really looking forward to seeing you again. was that why waking up had been easier today?
he shook his head and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the day, and the task in front of him. he needed to focus, do his job. he would get to see you when the time came for it. you would respect him more for his service, anyway... or at least he hoped so.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
the the sun had just started setting, the orange hue of dusk hadn't settled in the sky yet. you were sitting on the stairs at the entrance of your apartment building. the ground was still wet, but the upper part of the stairs had been protected from yesterday's rain thanks to the architecture of the building. you would just need to dust off its filth once you stood up.
peter was supposed to come any minute now, he'd called you around noon and asked if you'd like to meet up this evening, and he could take you to see some places. you had started preparing some hours ago. you hadn't known what to wear, or what he had in mind, and had been too nervous to feel completely good about an outfit. you didn’t want to mess this up. at last, you'd just decided to get out of your house and wait. sitting on cold stairs. you were beginning to regret your choices slowly.
“hi,” appeared a head suddenly in front of your nose, making you yelp in surprise and slide backwards on the stairs. you put your hand on your mouth, wide-eyed, and finally processed what the dangling head in red was: peter. he was hanging from your building, held by his web, upside down, in his spiderman suit. he wouldn’t be as instantly recognizable from afar, as he was wearing a jacket, pants, and sneakers on his suit. it looked good.
“sorry,” he said, landing next to you, but not moving towards you. “sorry,” he repeated quickly. “i didn’t mean to scare you.”
“my goodness, peter,” you said, exhaling a deep breath. “no, sorry, spiderman.”
he chuckled lightly. “did i make you wait too much? sorry about that, too.”
“no, no, you are…” you looked at your watch, “right on time, actually.”
“uh,” he started, then hesitated for a moment before taking out a piece of cloth… no, a mask from the pocket of his jacket. “this should be really comfortable, i brought it in case you wanted to, you know, keep your identity hidden.”
“oh, you will stay in your spiderman costume?” you asked, taking the mask, and putting your hand in it so see what it looked like.
“yeah,” he said, “i can’t do what i want to do with you without my suit.”
you looked at him questioningly, “what is it that you want to do with me, peter?” you asked with mock seriousness.
he made a low-volume laughing sound. “i was planning on carrying you in the sky with me. if that’s okay.” he raised his hands in hurry, “it’s okay if you don’t want to, of course. just… i just thought you might like it, is all.”
you looked at the mask, and swiftly wore it. fixing it on your face, you looked at peter. “how do i look?” you asked.
“wait, let me help,” he said as he came closer to you, and fixed the back of the mask.
“thank you.”
so peter took you to the skies.
you held onto him like your life depended on it (it did), arms wrapped around his shoulders. his movements in the air were fast and sharp, the wind felt like a slap to the face at points. yet, you didn’t feel an ounce of fear, if anything, excitement and joy would be descriptive of your feelings. peter had a strong grip on you, somehow, you trusted that without doubt, he would never drop you.
──────
he had taken and placed you on top of a skyscraper, with a view of busy streets and the decorated balconies of shorter buildings. having ascended on the city as rain yesterday, clouds in the sky had thinned, and the atmosphere was clear. the sun was half gone by now, and all your gaze rested upon was dusk-touched; bathed in the burning scarlett of the sun’s farewell.
you smiled, looking over at the city. the wind was caressing your face gently, and breathing had become easier since seeing peter. being where you stood now, it felt freeing.
“this is amazing.” you glanced at peter briefly, and saw he’d been looking at you.
“i’m glad you like it,” he said, then joined you in gazing towards the horizon.
──────
you’d been sitting where peter had caried you to, on top of the skyscraper, for a while now. topics chased each other with ease, built onto each other, and you ended up talking about things you’d never told anyone before. but peter listened, contributed, he seemed truly interested, and then he outclassed your yapping, so words ended up spilling out of your mouth naturally.
“my favorite tree is willow, actually. i love willows, they are so pretty, they have leaves like drapes. they look magical," you said, adding onto the conversation that you’d ended up talking about because… the city layout, then parks, then trees, then if many people have favorite kinds of trees, then his being olive trees…
he looked into your eyes carefully, like you'd said something that struck a cord, something he'd considered before.
"really?" he asked, then turned his gaze towards the city again, eyebrows laying heavier, eyes looking below. "willows look hunched," he said, "they look weary."
was he hunched? had he grown tired? was he trying to tell you that was how he saw the world now? hunched, instead of magical?
"hmm, " you thought for a moment, "do you know why willows are hunched?"
he looked at you questioningly. "no?"
"i've been told a story from someone who'd been told a story; there once was a willow next to a lake. you know how willows like wetlands. and there once was a child sweet as a sugar beet, yet did not know how to swim. choose one day from the countless days the old willow had seen, the sweet child fell into the lake right next to its roots, he couldn't stay on the surface, so he asked the willow for help. the willow bowed its leaves as fast as it could, to offer a branch to hold onto, but it was too slow, and the leaves touched the water too late. after that day, the willow's leaves never rose again. word spread to every willow with time, and they lowered their branches one by one, so if a child were ever drowning, they would never be too late."
he was still looking down, but his expression had changed lightly. his brows were slightly tented, his eyes seemed watery. you studied him, it looked like the story had touched him; he was quietly in thought.
was he a willow? had he failed to save a drowning child? had he been hunched?
had he realized being hunched didn't have to be ugly?
"stories are great," you said, not to fill the silence, but because you now felt comfortable enough to share your thoughts with him. "they can verbalize things you keep in your head, and make you realize; oh, someone else thought the same thing back when who knows how many years ago, and i’m not the only one."
he nodded after another moment of silence. "that was a beautiful story," he said, looking at you, "do you know many like it?"
"short tales like these? not many. i generally read novels."
"maybe i should start too."
you perked up. "you could!" you said, voice coming out too excited for your liking, "i'll lend you some."
"okay," he said, smiling in his usual, reserved way, "thank you."
poor, innocent peter. he had no idea what he'd just signed up for, basically accepting to be subjected to a reader's propaganda of their favorite books.
"i should be thanking you," you responded, "for bringing me here."
the sun had fully gone down, no traces of orange left in the sky, although it hadn't gotten fully dark yet. the moon could be seen, finally getting out of the sun's shadow. or more so, light. too bright for anything else to stay visible near it, yet nothing on earth would be visible without its light, including the moon.
you looked down at the ant-sized citizens of new york, ever-moving, flowing like a river. the wind was caressing your face, chilly, up here was colder than down below, yet it didn't feel as hostile.
"i used to really like it," he said while nodding, a half-smile left on his face from your previous conversation, and perhaps memories of years gone.
"sitting atop buildings?"
"yeah. sitting or swinging or... just height."
"it is kind of freeing."
"and just... you know, a different kind of perspective."
"yeah, i get it," you said, looking at your ant subjects, "why don't you like it anymore?"
he seemed to search for words for a moment, looking around. and then shrugged. "i guess i just... don't really like things anymore."
you sighed, nodding. "well, it's a miracle that you liked my below-average vegetable soup, then."
"it was very much above average!"
"as i said, a miracle."
"why am i having to defend my tastes in the middle of a date right now?"
he stopped abruptly, his smile fading, eyes widening. "i mean!" he quickly scrambled to fix his mistake, "not like- not a date like a date date, you know, i was just saying... just-"
was this a time for you to interrupt? he didn't seem like he wanted to finish that sentence.
"i know," you said, chuckling, "don't worry. i'm also really glad we're doing this. take me soaring the skies more often."
"i wouldn't necessarily call it soaring."
"well, whatever it was."
and then, once again, hours chased one another, carrying your long-winded conversation back and forth, and the deep black of night had fallen on the two of you like a blanket.
peter was sweet, it was like honey dripped from his lips; you hadn't found a conversation so enjoyable in years. you were glad he'd opened up more, back in high school, you had no idea he was so talkative.
you had brought a homemade meal with yourself, considering how much he'd appreciated that yesterday. and you’d shared it over the hours you’d spent together.
peter seemed to relax more and more around you, smile actually coming naturally to his face now, dangling his feet with comfortable, quiet joy.
“ah,” he said at some point, “this is… somewhat hard.”
“what is?”
he thought on it for a moment. “no, nothing. forget i said anything.”
“nooo,” you grabbed his arm and slightly shook him, “i’m curious now!”
he chuckled, “no, it’s embarrassing.”
“peter, listen to me,” you started with mock seriousness, “whatever it is, it cannot be as embarrassing as my cringeworthy memories, so i won’t even register it as embarrassing.”
“okay,” he said after a short silence, “i guess… i guess i got used to being alone too much, now i find it kind of hard to… be known, i guess. it leaves me with a kind of anxiety.”
“it wasn’t like that before?”
“no,” he turned his gaze to the city, “i don’t remember it being like this.”
you hummed, nodding your head. you were going to tell him that you understood, that you felt similarly occasionally, that it was normal, but he kept going before you could.
“at least, the bad parts.”
“what bad parts?”
“you know, my mistakes and flaws and other such things,” he took a deep breath before continuing. “i told you everything but… i wish you didn’t know some of it, now.”
you studied his face; he definitely looked more youthful, like the weight of the world wasn’t crushing him anymore. like he could put his burden down for a moment, take a break. peter didn’t seem like a person who would have a hard time being vulnarable, or being known, but pain did change people. was it just being alone, or being alone with what he thought were his mistakes, scenes repeating over and over in his head as he stared at empty walls, with no one to talk to?
“i like you as you are,” you said, “with your mistakes and flaws; that’s being human, and you’re not lesser for any of it. not objectively, and not in my eyes.”
he was looking into your eyes now, he’d become more comfortable resting his gaze upon yours; you found it comforting, you tried to make him feel the same.
“isn’t that the part of being known that matters?” you asked. “knowing the imperfect parts, the harder to accept parts, and accepting anyway, and loving anyway. doesn’t it make you feel better that i know you fully and like you even more for it?”
peter seemed truly lost for words, for the second time since you’d met. you’d wanted to make him feel welcome into your life, so you’d done your best to tell him things you’d wish to hear yourself, and they were the truth, but you really hoped it would come across right. he wasn’t the only one to overthink conversations.
he opened his mouth to give an answer, and then, suddenly, chaos erupted.
the thunder of a bomb going off shook the ground and the buildings around you. screams mixed into a deafening whistle of the wind that carried them as people ran away from the sound collectively, pushing each other.
peter stood up instinctively, looking towards the explosion. it had happened close enough that you’d felt the shockwave.
“what was that?” you yelled, trying to be heard over the sound, clumsily standing up next to peter, as you were quite high up. he held your arm to steady you.
“i’m not sure, but i think i know who’s responsible for it,” he said with a serious expression on his face, brows furrowed, thoughtful, voice lower than yours, but you could still hear him.
“are you going to go?”
“i have to, this is… these people are dangerous, you should go home.”
he grabbed you by your waist and brought you down to the ground in a hurry, gently placing you. “i’m sorry,” he said, “i’ll come back, uh, to your house, if that’s okay?”
“of course,” you responded, “i’ll be waiting. and don’t be sorry.”
and he dissapeared into the sky, swinging.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
peter hated villains, truly. criminals who committed heinous acts of terrorism, knew nothing but cruelty, unashamedly hurt people, kidnapped, wounded… there were so many of them, too. he kept defeating those hurting new york, and new ones kept popping up.
well, he thought he hated them, but he didn’t know how exactly he felt. he remembered a time when feelings so negative and irritating hadn’t ever been inside him, it was like they added onto each other. one would think it would get easier with time, that he would get used to repeated things. like losing… but not only had losing aunt may been harder than losing uncle ben, he was now more bitter, and more mournful over the past deaths he’d thought he’d gotten over, as well. or, how instead of growing numb to seeing horrible crimes unfold, every act of abuse and cruelty made him angrier, every time he hated… he hated more, although he wasn’t sure exactly what he was hating.
when he tried to track the target his hatred was pointing at, he saw blurry pictures. villains were a part of it, surely, but he didn’t feel a burning rage while fighting them, it was more so weariness, or disgust, mostly, he just wanted all of it to be over. he didn’t want to… ponder more on it, after that point. he had tried once, and then felt an untangible pain. he couldn’t admit it to himself, but he was afraid of what else he could find in that blur. himself? tony? aunt may? mj? new york? the world?
so the picture stayed anonymous, and he couldn’t fully direct his fury at anything, and he disliked all the villains, but could hardly muster up the energy to truly hate them. and perhaps it wasn’t in his nature, either. anger and hatred, he’d never been very good at those. was that why his heart was withering? because he couldn’t feel well? because those were all there was to feel in his life now, and he failed at it?
he felt so done with everything, currently. was he not going to be able to spend time with you uninterrupted? the conversation was going well, too. or at least he thought it was. he hoped you would agree.
back in high school, he knew you were smart, and funny, and would be a good friend if anyone could approach you, but you’d prefered to stay away from him, and he hadn’t had the courage to initiate a relationship with you, he’d found you intimidating. now getting to know you better, he wished he’d just done it, back then. but maybe not. maybe then he would lose you too.
would he lose you now, as well? he’d lost everyone, hadn’t he?
or he’d break your heart, maybe. he’d left liz, he’d left mj, he’d left ned. thrice taken, something was wrong with him.
he arrived at the site of the explosion, looking from above. the thick, suffocating hotness, the pain-filled wails of the survivors, the rubbles of the building crumbled down, his eyes searched for certain signs in between the horrors. he would first save those who couldn’t save themselves, then he would stop whoever was responsible.
as he started carrying survivors out of flames and rubble, he also started scanning everything around him carefully. a sign, a clue, a mistake on the culprit’s part… he knew who it was, he was almost sure the organization he’d been tailing down for the past few months was responsible for this. they were onto him, too, they knew.
he’d found out the position of their base was last week, a site with several factories and buildings in it, towards the border of the city, in a mostly desolate area, as it used to just be an industrialized site, but had now turned into an unpreferred place for bussiness. he’d wondered if they had something to do with that as well, but he supposed that didn’t matter much, in the grand scheme of things.
he would go there, and… and confront them. fight them. end them. something. somehow. the police were rendered useless for the most part, when it came to these underground syndicates, some were bought puppets, some were too powerless, peter knew better than to give away his knowledge now. he’d been burned enough. he would have to do it himself, and do it quick, before any other disasters struck his city.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
you hadn’t gone back home, you were waiting next to a shop near the place peter had left you, looking at the exploded building from afar. you were growing more worried by the second; peter had seemed serious, and talked about a criminal organization who would bomb a whole building like it was a normal thing. was he engaged in a fight, currently? how often did things of this magnitude happen to him?
your phone buzzed, you immediately looked at the screen, it could be important in these circumstances. peter. peter was calling. he’d gone to fight, said he’d come back to you, and now was calling-
“peter?” you answered before you made any assumptions.
quick gasps cut short responded to you, and peter’s voice had taken the shape of slow, low wailing, or wheezing, or… regardless, it was obvious he was in pain.
“i…” he started, clearly having a hard time speaking, “i’m stuck. it was a trap.” he was breathless, his voice kept cracking.
“you- where?” you asked, choosing your words carefully. he was stuck. trapped. time. time was important. ask only for the information that matters right now.
“the building- that- there were people, i wanted to save them,” he was crying, it was obvious. “but i couldn’t, they are stuck too, and unconscious, some are dead. i couldn’t-” he cut his sentence short, taking quick breaths, most likely trying to keep himself awake, or too pained to continue. you understood it anyway.
“where are you, peter?”
“the building crumbled down, and it’s all rubble- but, it’s a huge- a huge, i don’t know. i’m under a heavy part, big, i can’t move it. not safely. i can’t try anything too dangerous, or the- the others might get crushed,” he managed to say in between his gasps and pained groans.
your heart sank, an awful dread dropped into the pit of your stomach. what to do now?
“i’m sorry,” he said, “i just- i didn’t know what to do, and i’d told you i’d come back, i don’t know. there is no one else i could call, i’m not- i’m sorry.”
no one else.
“don’t apologize,” you said, voice firmer, having gotten slightly angry. you weren’t angry at peter, you were angry at… at the reason why peter was hurt. it had only been two days since you’d truly gotten to know him, and you wanted to scream into a void at the top of your lungs already.
you started walking towards the road, looking for a taxi, or you would call one. the initial chaos had subsided, but now people wanting to immediately go back home around you had taken its place, taxis were working, you just didn’t know how fast you could go to wherever peter was.
“send me your location or describe where you are,” you said.
you could only hear his gasps for a moment. “no,” he said, “no, no, i don’t want you to come, that’s not why i-” his breath hitched, he started coughing.
your eyes had gotten teary, you blinked harshly a few times to get rid of the blurriness. would a bicycle be faster? a… motorcycle, perhaps? you started looking around to see any unclaimed ones, you could maybe pay someone-
“i’ll come either way, i’ll help you,” you said, as you started walking towards the site of the explosion, you thought finding an abandoned vehicle might be easier there… maybe even one that no longer had an owner. maybe even a gun. “send your location or i will go into the flames and try to find a clue.”
another pause.
“okay,” he said, exhaling in pain, “but be careful, run away the moment you see anyone dangerous. okay?”
“all right.”
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
it had been a long while since peter had been in such peril, had he underestimated his opponents? had he been too rash, reckless? it was highly unlikely that his street-level work would be as dangerous as the avengers-level threats, and he’d survived those, hadn’t he? so why was he crying now?
when he’d arrived at the site, and looked around a little, he’d found people, kidnapping victims, being sent to somewhere. he’d thought he’d needed to act fast to save them, but he’d fallen into a trap. not a trap specifically set for him; it more so looked like a last resort to cover up their traces while killing anyone at their tail, just destroying the building with evidence and their enemies in it. peter was just one person though, was that enough for them, or had they not bothered to check?
he didn’t know where exactly he was wounded under the rubble, everything was hurting. somewhere on his abdomen, he assumed, and legs, they were stinging like a thousand needles were sinking into his flesh at the same time.
he sighed, putting his forehead on the fallen stone in front of him.
he hated himself. that was it, yeah. that was the true target of his hatred. more than anything else. he realised so when he admitted it to himself; hating had suddenly gotten much easier, much deeper.
he’d just killed the last person on earth who knew him. why had he called you, anyway? he should’ve just… done as he always did before meeting you, deal with it himself. or die. the world wouldn’t lose much if he did, there was no one to mourn him. well, maybe you could get a little sad, but it wasn’t like you were particularly close to him, you’d never really been friends before. and you had a life, other people around you, you had no reason to hold onto him like he did you. so why were you even coming? why would you do this to him?
he killed everyone around himself. he would kill you. he would kill you. he would lose you.
no, no, stop. you could survive this, right? sinking into despair had never been helpful. he would need to stay sharp for you. he would… you could survive this much, right? and then he would never see you again. he would block your number, and… good thing he hadn’t brought you to his apartment.
he’d been so selfish, thinking only of himself, the happiness he felt at being remembered. what was he thinking? he should’ve never talked to you. he should’ve told you to raise your umbrella and go home without getting wet. he’d been erased from existence for a reason, hadn’t he? had he forgotten why he hadn’t gone back to mj and ned? how could he do this? how could he keep doing this? why did he never learn from his mistakes?
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
you were breathless, having ridden a bicycle (that you really had managed to find abandoned next to the explosion) until a point where traffic wasn’t jammed, then taken a taxi to the point where the driver would be willing to drive to, then ran until you could see the eerie factory site peter had told you about. you’d stopped to catch your breath briefly, your throat was hurting, sweat was coming down on your face like rain had been on the morning you’d grabbed peter’s arm. you put your hand on the right of your abdomen, you had a bad case of side stitch pain. you were holding a metal pipe in your other hand, you hadn’t been lucky enough to stumble upon a gun lying around, unfortunately. you had wanted to find a shield of some sort, but the blown off car bits were mostly too heavy, and couldn’t be carried on a bicycle.
there it was, the area of a dangerous mafia organization. how many cameras were there? you wore the mask peter had given to you, even though you really didn’t want to when you needed so much air.
you could see the remnants of a big dust storm behind a few buildings, you would need to get closer to truly figure it out, but you assumed you could go towards that direction to find peter. your heart was drumming against your chest, your fingertips had suddenly gone cold. a tiny portion of it was because of your previous marathon, mostly your nervousness and… fear were the cause.
but you had to do this. there was simply no other choice. someone needed to save peter, and the authorities wouldn’t do it, and the heroes wouldn’t do it, and you were there already. so you got a move on.
you mostly walked behind walls and next to corners, nervous about being seen and shot dead on the spot before you could even get into the mafia’s base. you reached… a chain-link fence, surrounding the complex.
“NO TRESSPASSING” the sign on the fence read, “PRIVATE PROPERTY”.
well, you’d already stolen a bicycle.
you took a shaky breath, and put your foot into one of the chains. you’d never climbed over a chain-link fence before, but everything had a first time, right? so you gripped the chains for dear life, and although you probably looked ridiculous and unnatural doing it, managed to climb to the other side. you did scratch a few places on your legs and hands, but it was mostly a success.
now you needed to sneak deeper into the complex, somehow.
you walked half-crouched down, mostly next to walls, looking around yourself nervously, yet as fast as you could. as you got closer to the collapsed building, you started hearing screams, and gunshots. there was a commotion going on somewhere close to you, was it the kidnapped people? the ones peter had been able to save, the ones who’d gotten out? you stopped where you were and pressed your back to the building next to you, where did you go from here? where were the gun noises coming from? what did you need to do to avoid that, yet still reach peter?
your hands had started shaking, would it be possible to find an abandoned gun as you walked closer? it would be so easy for them to kill you.
you'd only managed to make a few turns from that point before you were caught. by a man with a gun in his hand.
"look at that," he said, as he pointed the gun at you. “it seems a little mouse sneaked in, in this chaos."
you stopped, completely frozen. your heart was beating in your throat, your hands were trembling, you'd forgotten how to breathe. you'd never been so fear-stricken in your life.
what could you do? one shot and you would be dead, what could you do with the metal pipe in your hand? you couldn't look away from the man to see what else you could use.
he started walking towards you slowly, saying things that would only distract you and make you more nervous if you focused on them, so you blocked them out.
he was clearly enjoying cornering you like a prey animal, that must have been why he was walking closer to you; to scare you. you fought against your urge to back away, to protect a distance between you two; you had a metal pipe. a gun was a long-range weapon, being closer might make it harder to run away, but would make it easier to fight back, and running away in this situation would do you no good. if he missed the first time, he would get you in the second. so you forcefully nailed your feet to the ground, ignored the alarms setting off in your mind, and tried to prepare yourself for a confrontation. your legs were trembling; you hoped the man would just think you'd frozen in fear.
he came close enough to put the gun to your head, just an arm's length of a distance between you. “you can't run even when the gun is in your face?” he asked mockingly.
would begging work? would it keep you alive long enough to catch an opening?
you would die. you would die.
you hadn't opened your mouth to form a single sentence since this man had found you, and you didn't think you could now. one wrong word and it would be over. you needed to act.
was there anyone else around? why was he alone? had you lucked out, somehow? they weren't going to take you into custody, you were a transgresser, they were going to kill you. you assumed this man had stumbled into you coincidentally in the ruckus, and hadn't felt the need to call for reinforcements. even if there were others in places you couldn't see, you had no choice but to act now.
the gun's tip was touching your forehead. seconds. i must act in seconds. by bending your knees, you ducked your head faster than he could process what happened and pull the trigger, and while ducking, swung the pipe in your hand as fast as you could, with as much force behind it as you could muster, and hit him in the groin.
you immediately made a move to get behind him while he buckled over; there was no running away from someone with a gun.
should you hold his hand with the gun, or hit it with your pipe? he was turning his face towards you, and would shoot you the moment he got a good view.
no, you’d taken too much time to think, and he’d already directed the gun at you, pulling the trigger. you immediately hit his hand with your pipe. the shot wasn't completely wasted, however, and grazed your leg.
you screamed in pain.
he reached for you with his other hand, grabbing your hair.
no time.
you gripped your pipe with all your strength, and hit his hand again while he was yanking your hair. and then kept hitting his hand, lest he direct the gun at you again. one, two, three, four, five— he kicked your leg. you buckled over in pain as he put your head to the ground, your hair still entangled in his hand. he was saying something, eyes bulging, looking very mad, but you weren’t proccessing any of it. your ears were still ringing because of the gunshot, and the pain in your leg was so powerful that you couldn't focus on anything. it was as if endless knives were constantly stabbing you. it was unbearable.
his hands were occupied with your head and the gun, you were nowhere near strong enough to set free from his grip, but he'd forgotten you were still holding onto the pipe. or maybe he'd just thought you'd be in too much pain to use it now. or maybe he just hadn't had the time to do something about that yet, everything was happering in seconds.
you swung it again in one last, reckless effort to fight back, and hit his head. the momentum tossed him to the side while taking you with him as he hadn't let go of your hair. before he could turn to face you back, you hit his head again, with all your might. he let go of your hair while balancing himself with his other hand, and hit you across the face before you could land your third hit, but you planted yourself to the ground, and landed another hit anyway. his head was bleeding, and he was clearly distraught.
what now? a few seconds. this had given you a few seconds of decision time. what now? should you keep hitting him? take the gun, somehow? how could you get rid of him?
you tried to move reflexively, to get away. but your leg was done for, you couldn’t get up. no. no. you couldn't move.
your heart was going to burst out of your chest, your nerves were completely wrecked; you couldn’t get up.
what, then? did you have to… kill? you were going to throw up. your hands started trembling even more violently. you couldn't. you just couldn't.
you wished you could yell for help. but you were supposed to be the help. it was as it had always been before, pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
no time to think.
you hit his head again, and when he flailed, this time you put his head to the ground, climbing on top of him, twisting his gun-holding arm under his body. now… now you could... how could you stop him? if you managed to take the gun, and told him to stay put until you could run away... you couldn't move, though. you couldn't even properly restrain him because you were having to drag one leg. the concussion he had was doing most of the heavy lifting.
an idea did come up in your mind. you supposed you had no other choice.
──────
you were lying on the floor, your back towards the sky. you’d left your unconscious attacker where he was lying, and managed to drag yourself for a few centimeters before you’d stopped, and leaned your forehead against the ground. you needed to get away, you knew. at least near a wall, somewhere you wouldn’t be seen so clearly, but your leg was hurting too much to use.
you couldn’t raise your head, and just started sobbing openly. you’d already been crying, but trying to hold back, keep quiet. you needed to sit up, and look at how bad the wound was, and how much blood you’d lost. the pain was all you could think about, your head was hurting from stress and forcing yourself to think through the pain, your eyes and throat were hurting from crying (and maybe also sleep-deprivation, as time was diving deeper into the night), your face was hurting from the hit you’d taken, and yet, nothing could be compared to the pain you felt in your leg. you wanted to take off your mask, it was suffocating enough even without it, but any cameras catching your face would be more of a disaster long term.
you took a deep breath, and put your hands on the ground. you pushed yourself up while shaking, and turned around. you looked at your leg, and immediately regretted it. it was bleeding a lot, and your flesh had been ripped apart. you didn’t know what to do, there was no one you could call.
you took out your phone from your pocket, and found peter’s number. you really didn’t want to, but you had no other choice.
peter answered by calling out your name questioningly, his voice came across better than last time; it still did sound like he was in pain, but he was calmer.
“peter,” you said, failing to sound like you weren’t crying. “a guy shot me. my leg is hurt.”
“a- what? where are you?”
“i’m near the collapsed building you should be in.”
“i- i-”
you took a second to breathe. “no, no, i… i just don’t know what to do,” you said, sniffling and gasping, “i can’t get up. i, uh, should i wrap something around my leg?”
“yeah,” he said, “a piece of cloth until you can get out, how close are you to the exit? you should call an ambulance or a taxi or—” he also had to stop to take a breath in pain, “i don’t know— i’m sorry. i’m really sorry.”
“what are you sorry for? it’s the fault of this piece of— well, garbage. at least i have a gun now.”
“who was it? is he still there?”
“i don’t know, some random guy. he’s unconscious.”
“… how?”
“well, i… kind of strangled him? he was,” you huffed, “he fainted because he couldn’t breathe, he’s alive though. i did hit his head a few times, i don’t know how that bodes for him.”
“probably not well,” he said, now with a hint of surprise and amusement in his voice, “you, uh, you did well. very well.”
“huh, thank you.”
good, this was good, hearing peter’s voice had been good for you. you pushed yourself up somehow, and sat up straight.
“what happened?” he asked, “why is the pain worsening?” probably because of your increasing groans.
“i was trying to sit up. i need to find a piece of cloth.”
you looked around, and decided to take anything you could from the man who attacked you. you went through his pockets, and sure enough, found a knife. you cut a piece off of his shirt, and used it as bandage.
“how tight should it be?”
“you should be able to slide a finger under it.”
next, you needed to drag yourself away from the middle of the road, to somewhere you could hide—
no.
no, that wasn’t why you were here.
“how are you doing, peter?” you asked, but couldn’t add that you would be there soon.
“i’m…” he started, but drifted off. and then you heard silent sobbing. “i’m sorry,” he said.
“you have nothing to apologize for.”
“no, it’s all my fault. i never should’ve dragged you into this mess.”
“you didn’t drag me into anything, i stole a bike and ran a marathon to get to you,” you’d sounded firmer now, although still couldn’t stop your crying; the pain just wasn’t getting any better.
“i let you down along with everyone else,” he wasn’t listening to you, “and i don’t know what to do, i can’t come to you, i don’t know how to get you out,” his voice had gotten frantic again.
you sighed, trying to get your sobbing under control, and think of a reply. was it his fault? no, you were certain it wasn’t. had he let you down? no, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. should he stay away from you? were you afraid of pain or death? would you rather live a more stress-free life than stay with peter?
you closed your eyes to let the tears roll down your cheeks as the realisation that you couldn’t immediately say “no” set in, you felt betrayed by yourself. you’d thought about this, yesterday… or two days ago, you supposed, as it was past midnight. he’d told you everything, so you knew the risks, and you’d thought about it. you’d decided it would be fine; worrying for his safety or being at risk yourself. and if you got injured, then you could handle some pain. and if you died, well… there was no getting ahead of death. if you died, that would mean your time had come.
so where had your conviction gone to? had the pain been too much, after all? it was the pain, the stabbing sensation was making your brain foggy, demanding all the attention be on it. you hated it, you hated everything. you were mad at yourself; why couldn’t you just be better?
“peter,” you cut him off, “i know i can’t understand you fully, but i get it,” you’d decided to just ramble. you couldn’t come up with the perfect answer to make his worries disappear, so you would just… tell him whatever was going through your mind.
“i lay awake some nights, randomly afraid of the dark. then i curl up under my blanket, and try to comfort myself. because there is no one to lie next to me. i look out from my window and see grey walls. i look up at night and see no stars. i walk outside and hundreds of people just walk past me without even looking at my face, and i don’t remember any of theirs the next hour. all i hear all day are the honks of cars, and depressing news. abuse. crime. kid died. alone person went missing. don’t go out at night. don’t talk to anyone. there is no one anyway, who would i talk to?” you paused to sniffle again, and catch your breath.
“i come home and say ‘hello’ to emptiness and darkness, i turn on the lights myself, then think about what i’ll eat. and i don’t properly eat most days, because i just don’t want to prepare something only for myself. yesterday, i was so happy you liked the food i made, i wanted to cook something for the first time in months while waiting for you,” words were just coming out of your mouth without restraint now, was it the sleep deprivation?
“in high school, i used to watch you and your friends, and wish i could find someone who would be in sync with me too. i used to wish i had a reason or an excuse to join in when i saw you three laugh or talk. i go to university now, and i attend lectures, and i make small talk with a few people, and then i drown in my own thoughts the whole day. i tell myself that i’m fine by myself, but i feel like my soul is getting thinner by the day, looking at walls. is it just me, or is everyone just disconnected now, i don’t know.”
you finally stopped, and let silence stretch after your words. your crying had gotten worse as the suffocation of your life had built up enough to rush out of you; you didn’t cry much, not really. sure, you sometimes shed silent tears, sitting by yourself on your couch, but normally, you just kept going without thinking much about it. you had your exams, and job, and volunteer work, and projects to worry about, so pitying yourself was at the bottom of your to-do list. but now? you were crying waterfalls. was it because you’d finally found someone to tell what you were really thinking? no, it was probably because of the pain you were already in.
peter didn’t answer, for a long while, it was just silence.
“you were right,” you said, “being known with your negative sides sucks.”
“no,” he said, “you were right. i’m glad to know you as you are.”
he didn’t sound good. he didn’t sound good at all. you sighed in resignation, closing your eyes tightly shut to clear your view of tears. “i’m closing now, peter, wait for me,” you said, and closed the call before he could reply.
you looked at the ground, and furrowed your brows in concentration. you would get up. you had to. you had no choice. peter had called you for help. he had no one. no one else to call. no one else to save him from making a choice between death and killing innocent victims under rubble. no one else to save him from death.
you gritted your teeth, your leg hurt as the deep cut touched the bad guy’s shirt, and in some parts, the cold air of the night. the wound kept bleeding, and hurting more by the second. but you gritted your teeth anyway, through your tears and gasps for air that you had an abundance of, but your lungs refused to take in. you put your hands on the ground, and pushed yourself up, using all the strength you had.
you whimpered and groaned in many attempts to stifle your screams before they could come out, and alert whoever was close enough to hear, and managed to set your back straight. it was unbearable, the pain was holding you from the collar, trying to drag you down, making your vision red, exploding in your brain.
it’s just pain, you kept repeating to yourself, it was just a feeling, you could move through it. so you would walk now. towards peter. as quickly as possible. you needed to reach him, that was why you’d come this far, how could you let pain make you forget? it was simply unacceptable, the thought of peter dying under that rubble.
so you put one foot in front of the other, and made your way to peter through every force working against you.
──────
"peter?" you asked, trying to walk through the rubble, and then heard your name back.
"i'm here!"
you tried to reach him at least enough to see his face, as fast as you could, but it was still taking too long with your injured leg. too long for your impatience currently, anyway.
"i'll remove the victims so you can get out of there," you said as you stretched your head enough to see his face, not being able to get closer. he was... he'd taken off his mask, and he looked horrible; his eyes had become red from tears and most likely his injuries, his face was covered in dust and some drops of blood. looking at him stung your chest. "tell me where they are."
──────
peter was strong. he truly was. not only mentally; you were currently watching him lift what was essentially an entire ceiling with other pieces of rubble on it off himself, with most likely many crushing injuries. insane. he was insane. no wonder he couldn’t move with all with those unconscious people around.
you had somehow managed to move them out of his way, seven people in total, much more than you’d anticipated. how could you get them out of here now? you were injured, peter was probably in worse condition… although he did seem to be able to carry significant weight. maybe you could carry them until the exit and call an ambulance, for yourselves, too.
──────
peter walked towards you until he was a breath away, his face was covered in sweat on top of everything else, and he was gasping for air, as were you. he looked at your leg.
“i’ll carry you,” was all he said. he seemed so tired.
“we need to carry these people first.”
“no, i’ll carry you first. until you’re out of this complex.”
──────
you were sitting on the sidewalk, waiting for the ambulance you had called. well, ambulances, as they’d be carrying nine people. you had, also, finally taken off the mask you’d come to despise at this point, associating it with very negative feelings.
you saw peter swing down with the last one of the survivors. he landed, placed the unconscious man on the sidewalk, and sat right next to you.
you sat together in silence for a while, until you took a deep breath, and chuckled lightly. it was over. you’d done it. everyone was alive.
peter looked at you questioningly, although it was hard to read his face; he’d turned mostly expressionless. because of how much effort it must have been taking to even stay awake for him, you assumed.
“it’s over,” you said, “we did it.”
he looked away again, to the desolate road in front of you. “you did it,” he said, “i messed up.”
“how so?”
“i acted rashly. i should’ve been more careful. now they’ll find a new base, and i have to start from nothing to track them down again. and they know i’m after them. and i couldn’t change anything in the end, i just made things worse. all of this was for nothing, it could have been completely avoided. it started with the collapse of one building and then it ended with the collapse of another for no reason.”
you were watching him carefully. lines of exhaustion had formed on his face, the sorrow and… and whatever it was that dropped a boulder of burning despair into the pit of your stomach from when you first met had come back; you’d thought the youth had somehow returned to his face this evening.
“so,” you started, taking another deep breath, “you came here after they exploded a building to stop them, like, end them in general, or at least weaken them, do something. that makes sense to me. then you acted rashly here? why?”
“i saw… the kidnapped victims, and they were suffering, so i wanted to save them.”
“then you didn’t mess up, right? you saved them.”
“not all of them, and i wouldn’t have without you.”
“well, a big majority of them, you did save. all of them would die without you. and what else could you have done but to directly interfere? you did the only thing you could.”
he just stayed silent, was he not convinced?
“i don’t think this was a failure, peter. i think you did well and saved many people, and i think it was worth it.”
his eyes were teary, but he didn’t look at you again, he turned his gaze to the ground, and just stayed silent.
──────
you had decided on what to tell the authorities before the paramedics had arrived, and then you’d been separated, put into different ambulances.
then… well, the rest was as you imagined it would go. still a lot of pain, and a lot of hasty doctors as they asked questions and barked orders. it was horrible, really, with the way your head had been aching, but at least they were numbing your leg. and you would most likely be allowed to drift off to sleep at some point, right?
──────
you lied on the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. it was almost noon, and you’d waken up not so long ago. you just kept playing what happened again and again in your head, trying to make sense of every detail.
it was a miracle you were alive. you’d faced off a gun. an actual gun.
it was good that all you could do by yourself in this hospital bed was think; you’d been asking yourself the same questions for a while now. did you still want to be involved with peter? you’d known him only for two days, and you’d ended up in a hospital already.
you’d considered every outcome and every reason, every choice you could make. in the end, it boiled down to a few core options. would you rather live a less risky life by yourself, or risk getting hurt like this to be with someone? someone who can meet you as deeply as you crave?
not just that, human bonds were too important to be disregarded because of what external threats might arise. the reality now was that you loved peter, he was a good person, he didn’t deserve to be abandoned because of what evil people did. your choice didn’t come out of loneliness; even if you had a dozen bonds like this, you would still choose to stay with peter, because you’d formed a relationship with him now. and that was that.
out of every outcome you considered, the worst one was definitely living your life without peter, and then getting news that spiderman just died somewhere, by himself. even the thought of it was nausiating. then again, the thought of just him getting hurt like this, and having no one to go to was just as horrible. so you needed to choose the opposite of what would cause that outcome to happen.
it hadn’t been that hard a decision to make; staying involved with peter. you’d already been tangled, it wasn’t much of a possibility to untangle yourself now, a part of you would be left behind.
besides, you somehow remembered him, didn’t you? that had to mean something. there had to be a reason for it.
──────
after finally being discharged, the first thing you did was look for peter, but he’d somehow gotten out before you. not because his wounds were less severe, quite the opposite, the nurses had said he’d been restless to get out, and they couldn’t keep someone against their will.
the orange of dusk had faded away, although it wasn’t fully dark yet. you were on your way to your apartment while you kept ringing peter’s phone, he was stubbornly refusing to answer.
you huffed as another attempt turned out to be in vain. you looked at the taxi driver, who did not acknowledge your existence, and then turned back to your phone.
“peter, are you okay? is everything all right?”
you messaged him. then waited for him to see. aaand waited. still waiting.
you huffed again, three minutes of staring at your screen impatiently and he wasn’t responding.
although you’d asked him if he were okay, you knew the truth. it wasn’t that he couldn’t answer, it was that he’d decided to go through with his stupid “i’ll never see you again because i’m ruining your life” nonsense. in your heart of hearts, you knew. so you sent another message.
“if you’re thinking about cutting ties with me, then do it properly. come and talk to me about it.”
and then looked out the taxi’s window for the rest of your journey.
────── 𓆩˚.⋆🕸⋆.˚𓆪 ──────
you were right, peter knew. after everything that happened, opening up to you and accepting you into his life, if he wanted to step away now, he needed to respect you, and tell you about it properly. so he was standing in front of your door now, trying to gather up the courage to ring your bell, and tell you he’d never see you again. this door had seemed so inviting one night ago, and it had tricked peter. he was not supposed to be invited into any house, didn’t your house know that?
he took a deep breath, and rang the bell. when you opened the door, you looked tired. not your expression, but the lines on your face and the look in your eyes gave it away. that was his fault, wasn’t it?
you stepped aside to welcome him, and he followed you into the living room, the couch he’d sat on the night he’d told you everything.
bidding you farewell was going to be hard, he didn’t know if he could be brave enough, or selfless enough. he’d been so when he had been wiped from the memories of every living being, and that was much harder a task, wasn’t it? so couldn’t he do it a second time?
but he hated waking up every day, and hated… well, he couldn’t even properly hate. getting up, putting one foot in front of the other was becoming harder every day, he didn’t want to do anything, anymore. so circumstances had changed since then, but he still kept fighting every day, and he still kept doing what he thought was right. so he could do this too.
or you would die. he’d lost enough people. to love was to lose. to love was the possibility of loss eventually.
he shouldn’t even have sat on this couch, actually, why had he done so? he should’ve just told you he was leaving, and then leave. he made a move to get up again, you grabbed his arm to stop him.
“you should stay seated,” you said, “i’ll bring something to eat for dinner.”
“please don’t, i’ll be on my way shortly anyway.”
“no,” you said as a statement, firmly, and left him alone in the living room.
peter never should’ve come. you deserved to have one last conversation, but how could peter move on from you? he supposed it would’ve been impossible even if he hadn’t come to your place today, even if he’d told you to turn back without getting wet the day you first recognized him. he would just have to live missing you forever, and that wasn’t unrealistic. it’s what he was doing now, missing everybody he’d ever known. and he was living, wasn’t he? well, he was alive.
you brought pasta with chicken, obviously freshly made, and put down two plates on the couch.
“we could eat in the kitchen,” he said.
“couch is comfier.”
he sighed, looking at his plate. he really didn’t want to eat anything made by you again, he didn’t need more things to miss. you’d said you didn’t feel like preparing a meal just for yourself, that he made you want to cook something… he remembered everything you said, of course. that you’d apparently wanted to get closer to him in high school too, why had he been so nervous? afraid?
it was for the best, though. otherwise, you might’ve died years ago. no matter what you felt, he couldn’t be selfish enough to assume he could be there for you, or good for you.
“so,” you started, “you decided to go forward with your plan of ignoring my existence for the rest of your life?”
“it’s not ignoring,” he had a defensive tone, “i was wrong to even confirm i’m peter at the start, i’ll fix my mistake.”
“it wasn’t a mistake, how can you say that? would you prefer i believed i’d lost my mind?”
you had a hard time walking now, limping although you tried to hide it, and several wounds were visible on your face. you’d beat up a man with a metal pipe, what kind of damage did that leave on your psyche? peter didn’t know, he’d been warring since he was fifteen.
“you wouldn’t be in pain, at least.”
“you’re unbelievable,” you sounded exasparated, and seemed offended, but peter didn’t know what else to say. it was the truth. “i’d rather know the bitter truth, or suffer from its consequences than believe a lie any time. besides, you couldn’t have known this would happen, it’s not on you.”
“you can’t tell me you would still get a gunshot wound yesterday if we hadn’t met two days ago.”
“maybe not, but i don’t blame you for it and i don’t care.”
“you don’t care?!” peter was getting angry, was it because you were getting angry? he was angry at himself, was it dripping out of his chest into his tongue as poison?
“no,” you backtracked, “i mean, i’m fine with it. i can live with it. and i don’t hold it against you, i don’t have any resentment for you. i don’t know how else to explain this.”
he took a deep breath to hold back his tears. he couldn’t let your words get to him, make him feel better about what had occurred. he needed to protect you, he kept reminding himself.
“i can’t put you in harm’s way,” he said.
you paused for a moment.
“do you take care of your wounds by yourself? you did so after the fire the other day, and you basically ran away from the hospital this time around.”
peter was taken aback. “uh, yeah?” he answered.
you grabbed a bag that was positioned right next to the couch on the floor, and took a… first aid kit out of it. and then a salve, and bandages, and… what was going on?
“i bought these today after being discharged, figured you might need some.”
“i’m… fine?”
your expression was very unimpressed when you looked at him.
“so you think i don’t see your arm, or the way you have a hard time eating or breathing, or even just your hands?”
ah, right. his hands were bruised, not enough to warrant bandaging though, this happened regularly. and his arm did hurt, but the pain would go away in a few days or so. his abdomen… that was taken care of, too, the dressing they did at the hospital would be enough.
“it’s all taken care of,” he said.
“we need to put salve on your hands, and then wrap-”
“we don’t, this happens all the time.”
you looked at him in surprise for a moment. “this happens all the time and we don’t need to treat it?” you repeated with your eyes wide, tone something between offended and shocked.
he didn’t know what to say, so you just started doing whatever you’d set your mind to even before he came to your house. you gently held his hand, and started applying the salve. he sighed, and closed his eyes, leaning his head to rest on the couch. he shouldn’t have, but you didn’t give him much choice.
“i’ll learn how to suture,” you said, “and anything else that’s necessary.”
peter spoke your name, “i’m sorry,” he said, “i am so, so sorry. i don’t want to leave you either, but you saw what happened. mj and ned have forgotten me, and they are happier for it. this is what i need to do.”
“peter,” you said, as you started wrapping the bandage around his hand, “i haven’t forgotten you, and if you leave now, i still won’t forget. i don’t know how mj and ned are doing, having forgotten, but you can’t compare me to them. and even if i had forgotten, i still would want to know. how else can i put this?” you searched for the words, “i care about you more than i care about happiness. i’d choose you over happiness, i’d rather be in pain with you than be painless by myself.”
peter had straightened his back, his gaze fixated on your eyes, as you spoke. a lump in his throat, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks in his eyes, his hand in your hands… a warmth in his chest, how he hadn’t felt in so long. your words did soften his edges, but he couldn’t accept it. he still held back his tears, and still wanted to escape. run away. was that why he wanted to leave you? was his true reason to protect you, or his fear? he wanted to run, he wanted to run as fast as he could and hide, from anyone who could see him.
it was too much, but he couldn’t exactly tell what was too much. he was afraid of hurting you, but that wasn’t all he was afraid of, yet he couldn’t recognize what else scared him so.
“but,” you continued, “being with you will make me happy anyway, do you understand? i’ll be happier with you than alone, even if my life is at risk, and even if guns chase my back.”
you had teared up too, peter realised, but were wiping your tears away, to keep your vision clear while working on his now other hand, he assumed.
and that was it, the last drop of water to make his glass overflow. silent tears started finding their way to his chin, his gaze lowered in embarrassment. he’d already cried a dozen times in front of you, and he wished he hadn’t, he wished he could be stronger, firmer, he wished he could aspire confidence instead of silently crying. he hadn’t been able to cry for a while, before meeting you. even when it hurt deep inside his bones, his tears had dried up. were they all spilling out now?
he wanted you to stay, too, he was tired of being alone. he was tired of imagining “what if”s. he was tired of walking directionless with his hoodie covering his face, face a blur in crowds, never known by anyone. if you could bandage his hands every time after a fight, or have your textbooks scattered around in his room, then-
he didn’t want to imagine it. he just couldn’t accept it.
you were done with his hands, even though peter didn’t want you to let go. “how about this,” you started, “why don’t we give it some more time? i mean, how many times did mj or ned get wounded while knowing you?”
“… never, really.”
“yeah, so, either i’m also cursed, or this was a rare occurrence. either way, me staying with you won’t change anything. so, instead of making a rash decision like this, why don’t we try to be friends first? and if it doesn’t work out, then you can put some distance?”
that was… peter thought on it. and then his silent tears turned into straight-up sobbing. because that could work. he could accept that, it made sense to him.
he leaned down and buried his face in his hands. you started caressing his hair, which made it impossible for his tears to stop.
when everyone had forgotten, you'd remembered him. when faced with a gun, you'd survived. when injured, you'd walked. maybe he really was cursed, considering what had happened to you after you just met, but you seemed determined to break it.
and it might not be perfect, but it would be.
it must’ve been hard for you to make such a decision, you must’ve thought about it; staying with peter. you’d chosen him anyway. he could do the same, too. despite his fears, his horrible instinct to shrink and escape, he could stand his ground, and choose to stay, as you had. and maybe with time, it could get easier.
he stopped his sobbing, calmed down enough to face you, and raised his head.
“i don’t know what tomorrow will bring,” he said with a hint of nervousness in his voice.
“right,” you smiled, “exciting, isn’t it?”
ghost towns (youtube music) by radical face... as we part ways for now.
✧˚₊‧ down bad! peter parker who fucks like he’s mindless !
it’s not like he’s touch starved for any sort of real connection; everyone who he loves doesn’t know who he is, he doesn’t have anyone to go home to besides that red and blue stupid spider-man suit that mocks him from the hanger. he watches the news as people cheer for him but no one wants him.
truly wants him. peter parker, not spider-man.
peter parker is a man who is starved of touch. he can live with no connection— it was just him and his aunt for many years… but the feeling of another person’s hands on him that wasn’t some goon in manhattan trying to put him to early retirement… it was foreign to him.
it’s been four years since mj, and he hasn’t felt anything on his body… except now, his breaking point.
youre not quite sure how you ended up in his vicinity anyway, but you did. you were simply in professor banners class when he came running in at the last minute, completely sloppy looking and out of his mind to talk to the professor. you stayed back to watch him ramble to him, seeing how disgruntled he looked, the bruises on his jaw and his forearm peaking out under the empire state hoodie.
when he left, you left, and you asked for his number.
that’s how you ended up here; in his messy bed, his cock thrusting in and out of you like a piston. he’s rough with his thrusts but gentle with his hands, like his fingers are trying to mark every single inch of your body, his lips haven’t left your neck since he’s thrusted.
“o-oh god baby.” he whispers, voice cracking under the pressure of your pussy clenching down on him. your nails rake down his biceps,
you moan around him, listening to his chorus of whimpers and pleads as the wet sound of his cock forcing its way into your puffy folds fills his mundane apartment bedroom. “f-fuck peter! keep going! oh fuck!”
the apartment walls in this place may not be the thickest, but peter’s cock is, so you don’t care that your moans could probably be heard from top floor to basement.
he moans when your fingers create more markings into his body, his senses going haywire with each stroke of his dick. “feels good baby? pussy needing me s’so much, don’t you?” he whispers, sucking on his right thumb before bringing it down to your clit, rubbing tight circles on it. “never letting you go, swear to god, fucking christ…”
each one of his thrusts picks up with the speed and velocity only a man like peter parker could display. you couldn't describe it but you felt so full but so good at the time time. your eyes rolled back as he kisses your cheek, feeling his balls slap against your clit.
he kept thrusting like he had something to lose; his hands touched you like he was trying to keep a reminder to himself what a female body felt like, what another human's body felt like under his own callous palms.
he's never felt like this in four years, and now, he's a selfish man and who could blame him?
peter was a man suffering in silence, currently thrusting into you like he was personally trying to break your cervix— and you didn't mind it, feeling like heaven itself as his forearms cage your head, kissing your face even as the tears flow from overstimulation, his mouth catching each one.
he brings you closer and closer, groaning deep into your ear as you tighten around him. the bed was louder than you at some points but you didn't even try to be quiet.
if anyone truly knew what peter parker was suffering with for four years... they'd understand why he fucks like this. why he fucks like it's his last day on earth. why his cock ruins you like it's never done before... and you didn't quite understand the full extent of it...
you just understood peter parker making you cum, and feeling ropes of his hot and heavy cum filling your pussy.
and in the same night? he tucks you in and sneaks out the fire escape, because peter parker only gets temporary joy when the city needs spiderman all the time.
click here for main masterlist! 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃
GIF credit goes to @/THOLLANDGIF on twitter!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: god, brand new day is gonna eat so hard. ive never written for peter, but he was so fucking fine in that trailer, so why not write for him. sadie, tom, and zendaya in the same movie + promotion is gonna be so funnnnn, I can’t fucking wait. I do not care; i will somehow get a sadie hot ones episode as well as a sadie vs tom hot ones episode because I said so.
thank you for all the support in every way possible! all support is very much appreciated! all content created on this blog is mine, do not copy or sent it through ai!
summary: when Clark can’t make it to the fortress, Krypto brings him to you
pairing: clark kent x female reader
word count: 2.2k
warnings: typical injury/kinda recovery warnings, blood, broken bones, etc. not much else. reader is mentioned have hair once. no other descriptions
a/n: sigh another fic the next day, that’s when you know i’m obsessed. here’s a lil idea i had as soon as i saw the opening scene. if you're new here cause i'm pretty much known for bucky barnes fics, I love angst so that's kinda my lil niche. hope that's okie!
oh and I loved @sharknutz idea of Clark calling the reader sunshine so yeaaa I had to try that out <3
masterlist | send requests
You were never a very light sleeper, per se. It wasn’t like you were waking up with each creak of the floorboards or gust of wind. But you never were one to sleep fully through the night without waking up just once. Clark had this little joke; he could always count on an extra cuddle sometime around 2 am. What could you say? You always slept better with him by your side.
Tonight, sleep proved to be a challenge. Clark had been gone for hours, off handling what you think you heard as some underground group of metahumans terrorizing the capital of Wales? After a while, you couldn’t find it in yourself to watch the news. Sue you, but the constant sight of your boyfriend smashing into concrete and brick buildings wasn’t how you wanted to spend the evening. It never was easy, knowing every time he left in that cape, there was the slightest chance he wouldn’t return. The habit of flicking on the television, just to become distraught and overwhelmed, and turning it off only to cave and flick it on again, consumed your evenings.
The bed was cold, feeling larger than normal without Clark’s large frame claiming more than half the bed and hogging the blankets. Your feet fluttered under the duvet, trying to shake the nerves and unease that engulfed your body. He should’ve been back by now, slipping through the door with a smirk and some half-funny quip about his injuries; it never was all that funny to you. You knew he needed to stop by the fortress first if he was hurt, recharge and heal, and maybe check on Krypto before flying back. Still, it was 4 am, and the news declared the situation to be handled by 1 am.
The thoughts swirling in your brain halted when a crash and the sound of shattering glass echoed through the living room. You jolted upright in bed, stumbling quietly out from the sheets and reaching for the steel pipe you had stashed under the bedframe. Clark always thought it was ridiculous, offering to get you a bat or something, but the pipe was found with your first apartment, and you’d had no issues in all your years since in Metropolis, maybe it was a good luck charm.
You slowly inched to the door as you heard grunts mixed with the sounds of stumbling feet and soft pounding. Any bit of drowsiness you had managed to build up while lying in bed was gone. If you needed to escape, the front door was in the kitchen, which was right next to the bedroom. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Unless they weren’t human.
Before you could continue to spiral and plan your first mode of attack, the familiar sound of a bark bounced up the other side of the door.
“Krypto?” you asked hesitantly as you lowered the pipe. The grading sound of that familiar yelp continued, confirming your suspicions.
You placed the pipe on the bed before slowly pulling the door open. You couldn’t even greet the superdog before he latched onto the hem of your shorts and tugged you out of the room.
“Hey, buddy, slow down,” you said as you stumbled behind him, trying not to fall. Something was wrong; the high-strung and chaotic pup you had come to know well was never this focused. He dragged you to the living room before letting go of your shorts with a bark. The white dog rushed over to the window- that’s when you saw.
The large bay window was shattered, exposing the crisp air of the early morning. Glass was strewn across the hardwoods. Lying face down in the middle was Clark. He looked wrecked, bruises covered the sharp angles of his cheekbones, and blood dripped from his lips and soaked parts of his hair. His arm twitched slightly, letting you know there was something damaged beneath the suit. He looked awful. The haunting rattling from his chest was the worst, filling the silent room and pounding in your ears.
“Clark!” you said, rushing to his side. As carefully as possible, you slipped to your knees, being sure to avoid the bits of glass that surrounded the scene. Your hands began to shake as you reached for him, scared to do any further damage. You rarely saw him like this, and if so, it tended to be through news footage.
“Honey, hey,” gently, you tried to turn him off his face and onto his back. He cried out at the movement, but his voice quickly turned to a whimper. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
He didn’t respond, just fluttered his eyes open and glanced up at you. Through the blood on his lips, he still flashed you a smile. Your heart stuttered.
“Hi baby,” he said, through bloody teeth.
“Clark, honey, what are you doing here?” Your voice was frantic as your hands hovered over him, afraid to touch anywhere.
“…needed to heal,” he said, trying to lean up into your touch, but the movement just brought more pain.
Delicately, your hands moved to cup his face, softly brushing a bit of glass from the sable curls that framed his face. As your fingers grazed the dark bruises by his eyes, you couldn’t help but notice how he relaxed under your hands.
Krypto leapt up onto the couch beside you, crawling up to the front and watching as you tried to figure out what to do next.
“Why…why didn’t you go to the f-fortress?” You asked. He hated how he could hear the tremors in your voice, hated how visibly distressed you were. He hated that he was the one to cause it.
He tried once again to lean upright into a sitting position. This time, you grabbed him and quickly propped him against the couch. At this angle, it seemed the airflow in his lungs was strengthened.
“I…too far,” he said, his bright blue eyes fully opening and meeting yours. “I couldn’t…make it. I got as far as outside the city but...”
Your hands moved slowly down from his neck to his chest. Through the thick blue fabric, you could feel the cracked bones of his clavicle and sternum. Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to relax.
“Then why …? Clark, why did Krypto bring you here? I can’t—I can’t fix this,” you said, your words spilled out in an almost incoherent ramble. Your panic stilled for just a moment as you felt Clark’s hand softly reach up for yours, guiding it to his chest where your palm felt the steady thumping of his heart.
“I told him to take me home,” he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
A soft sigh left your chest; you couldn’t place what it was, perhaps it was a mix of surprise or relief or even resignation. Those words were everything you wanted to hear. You wanted nothing more than to be his safety, his place to go and feel protected. If he wasn’t battered on your living room floor, those words would have driven you to kiss him silly.
Your hands came to rest on his neck, tenderly keeping his weary head up as you focused.
“Okay… okay, love,” you said, nodding to yourself as your thumbs brushed softly along the dips of his cheeks. Your eyes darted around the room, trying to remember where you placed the first aid kit. You began to rise from your spot beside him, hoping to find some hydrogen peroxide and gauze to clean out the gash by his hairline. A strong hand on your wrist held you back.
“Don’t… please stay,” he said, his brows curling up as he pleaded his case.
“Clark, I need to get stuff to clean you up…we need to fix you,” you said, brushing back some curls to get a look at the wound.
“The sun will be up soon… I’ll be fine,” he said. “Please, just stay, sunshine.”
Your hands moved to cup his face once again, gently leaning in to place a soft kiss to his temple.
“Please, I can’t see you like this. Just let me make you better?” you asked.
Clark always knew his biggest weakness was kryptonite, but somewhere along the way, that changed. Somehow, it became you. He never could deny you, say no, or dare to not put your needs or wants before his own. It didn’t matter if it was inconvenient or difficult or even impossible; if it was for you, he’d make it happen. He could see the fear and devotion in your eyes; he knew the sight of himself was crushing you. You needed comfort, you needed to feel useful, as if somehow you could make it all okay for him. He knew he’d be fine with a few hours, but if you needed to patch him up, then so be it. Who was he to say no when you asked?
“Yeah… of course, baby,” he said, his hand gingerly squeezing yours before letting you go. With a relieved sigh, you rushed to the kitchen. You didn’t miss the needy sigh that left his lips at your absence.
Krypto dashed from the couch, following you through the apartment as you checked your cabinets. You carded through the bathroom until you gathered everything you’d need. Rushing back to Clark’s side, you could feel the pounding of your heart begin to slow. Words ran through your mind, repeating like a mantra as you tried to compose yourself. He’s okay, he’s alive, he’s here.
You spilled your medical stash along the rug as you returned to his side. You gently began to wash out the first cut you saw. You stretched over him as you worked, kneeling but no longer resting on your legs as you found the best angle to wash out the wound. Your hands worked quickly, stopping the bleeding before applying butterfly plasters to close it.
Somewhere lost in your mission, you noticed the weight of the superbeing below you melting into your chest. Clark’s head rested safely against your chest. His good arm wrapped around your thighs, keeping you as close as he could with the strength he had. The sound of his breathing still left you shaky, but his sighs of content helped.
By the time you had finished, the sun began to creep its way over the sky-high buildings of Metropolis. Warm light filtered in through your apartment, casting deep shadows before banishing them with a brighter day. Your hands gently shook Clark.
“Love, sun’s up,” you said. His strength was returning, but he still had injuries only the yellow sun could fix. He slung his arm around you and helped you pull him up as you moved him over to the window.
You did your best to hold him still and steady as the bright glow of the sun coated his body. You were never around when he took his time to heal; you never saw the way he thrashed and cried out at the pain. As much as it killed you to hear his whimpers, you held him firmly, using what little strength you had as a human to keep the god-like man in your arms upright.
With one last cry, Clark sagged back into your arms. You struggled to keep him rooted, but he soon caught himself. You watched as he drew in deep, long breaths, air finally filling his lungs without the eerie rattle you’d never get out of your head. His hands gripped your arm and hip. His arm was straightened out, firm and taut once again. With one last breath, he stretched back up.
“Are-are you okay?” you asked, your hands once again moving around in search of any surprise injuries you may have missed. With a soft laugh, Clark took your hands and pressed a kiss to your palms. He pulled you in closer, cupping the back of your head and slipping his fingers through your hair.
“I’m fine, sunshine. I said I would be,” he said, pulling you close and resting his forehead to yours. “You took care of me.”
You nodded at his words, falling into his chest as your arms wrapped tightly around him. Calloused hands stroked your hair and held you to him as he placed kisses on the top of your head. You peeked around Clark’s large frame to see Krypto stretched over the couch, his tail thumping at the faded leather as he watched you both.
“I’m glad Krypto brought you to me,” you said, resting your head back over Clark’s heart. The steady beat filled your ear and soothed any anxieties that settled in your bones.
Clark rested his chin atop your head, sighing softly as he squeezed you gently, “He brought me home.”
---
I hope you liked it! kinda quick and eh but thx for reading <3
